1 00:00:00,432 --> 00:00:03,657 This year I decided to really get into the spirit of Halloween. 2 00:00:11,536 --> 00:00:14,501 It may have been the costliest decision I've ever made. 3 00:00:16,727 --> 00:00:18,882 My greased up head went into the pumpkin no problem... 4 00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:21,804 - It won't budge. - ...but I can't get it out. 5 00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:24,053 Try again. 6 00:00:24,055 --> 00:00:25,755 I mean, I could try destroying the pumpkin... 7 00:00:25,757 --> 00:00:27,006 No! No! No! No! Please! 8 00:00:27,008 --> 00:00:29,291 But as Jim and I discovered... 9 00:00:29,293 --> 00:00:31,427 No! 10 00:00:31,429 --> 00:00:35,014 ...any blow to the pumpkin itself could prove fatal to me. 11 00:00:35,016 --> 00:00:36,966 At first, I drove myself crazy 12 00:00:36,968 --> 00:00:38,150 thinking about the things I should've done differently. 13 00:00:38,152 --> 00:00:39,468 Yes, Dwight. 14 00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:41,687 I never should've played that joke on Erin. 15 00:00:41,689 --> 00:00:42,838 I never should've hollowed out 16 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,441 this damn pumpkin in the first place. 17 00:00:45,443 --> 00:00:48,661 But then I realized I was being silly. 18 00:00:48,663 --> 00:00:51,614 I mean, the pumpkin should rot off of my head 19 00:00:51,616 --> 00:00:54,500 in a month or two... right? 20 00:00:54,502 --> 00:00:57,503 [Cheerful music] 21 00:01:04,134 --> 00:01:06,328 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 22 00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:08,831 - Pam, what are you? - I'm Doctor Cinderella. 23 00:01:08,833 --> 00:01:10,466 Cece's really into princesses now, 24 00:01:10,468 --> 00:01:12,768 so we decided to turn them into positive female role models. 25 00:01:12,770 --> 00:01:14,637 I'm an oncologist. 26 00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,305 And you are a dog. 27 00:01:16,307 --> 00:01:18,340 No, I'm a puppy. 28 00:01:18,342 --> 00:01:20,226 Dang it! I was worried that would happen. 29 00:01:20,228 --> 00:01:21,527 - It's okay. - Um, Jim, 30 00:01:21,529 --> 00:01:22,895 you're not dressed up at all. 31 00:01:22,897 --> 00:01:26,566 Sure I am. I am... 32 00:01:26,568 --> 00:01:28,183 one of the Men In Black guys. 33 00:01:28,185 --> 00:01:29,452 Can I have your sunglasses? 34 00:01:29,454 --> 00:01:31,320 Jim, come on. I thought we were past this. 35 00:01:31,322 --> 00:01:33,122 So the sports marketing business 36 00:01:33,124 --> 00:01:35,157 that Jim told everyone about except for me? 37 00:01:35,159 --> 00:01:37,376 There's a big investment lunch today, 38 00:01:37,378 --> 00:01:39,528 so I decided to skip the costume. 39 00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:41,264 Unless he has a secret costume 40 00:01:41,266 --> 00:01:43,082 that he told everyone about except for me. 41 00:01:43,084 --> 00:01:45,034 [Chuckles] Getting a lot of mileage out of this, aren't you? 42 00:01:45,036 --> 00:01:47,503 Yeah, well, get used to it, bud. 43 00:01:49,706 --> 00:01:52,058 ♪ A jitterbug ♪ [Laughs] 44 00:01:52,060 --> 00:01:53,426 You guys look great! 45 00:01:53,428 --> 00:01:56,378 Just a reminder: The party is right after lunch, 46 00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:58,230 so make sure you get all your work done before that 47 00:01:58,232 --> 00:02:00,733 or throw it out. Any questions? 48 00:02:00,735 --> 00:02:03,986 The senator will be joining us later. 49 00:02:03,988 --> 00:02:05,021 Not a question. 50 00:02:05,023 --> 00:02:06,889 - No, it wasn't. - Excellent. 51 00:02:06,891 --> 00:02:08,908 That reminds me, has anyone seen Treble? 52 00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:10,409 Anyone? 53 00:02:10,411 --> 00:02:13,746 I could have sworn I saw some Treble somewhere. 54 00:02:13,748 --> 00:02:15,615 [A cappella group singing Karma Chameleon] 55 00:02:15,617 --> 00:02:18,584 Oh, ladies and gentlemen, Here Comes Treble! 56 00:02:18,586 --> 00:02:20,252 - ♪ I'm a man ♪ - ♪ A man ♪ 57 00:02:20,254 --> 00:02:22,788 ♪ without conviction ♪ 58 00:02:22,790 --> 00:02:27,376 ♪ you come and go, you come and go ♪ 59 00:02:27,378 --> 00:02:28,711 [Finger snapping] 60 00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:32,915 ♪ Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon ♪ 61 00:02:32,917 --> 00:02:38,304 ♪ you come and go, you come and go ♪ 62 00:02:38,306 --> 00:02:41,807 ♪ loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams ♪ 63 00:02:41,809 --> 00:02:47,480 ♪ red, gold, and green, red, gold, and green ♪ 64 00:02:47,482 --> 00:02:48,764 ♪ karma come on ♪ 65 00:02:48,766 --> 00:02:51,233 Ah! So good! 66 00:02:51,235 --> 00:02:53,268 [Giggles] 67 00:02:53,270 --> 00:02:55,955 What lab did these little clones escape from? 68 00:02:55,957 --> 00:02:57,657 My Cornell a cappella group. 69 00:02:57,659 --> 00:02:59,258 You were in an a cappella group? 70 00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:00,960 You went to Cornell? 71 00:03:00,962 --> 00:03:03,112 Yeah. Uh, okay, ha, ha, ha, ha. 72 00:03:03,114 --> 00:03:04,947 But you have no idea how lucky you are, 73 00:03:04,949 --> 00:03:08,968 because HCT is doing a set at our Halloween party. 74 00:03:08,970 --> 00:03:10,753 Ugh, I don't want to sit through 75 00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,254 a whole concert of that. 76 00:03:12,256 --> 00:03:13,973 I do. I love the boss's interests. 77 00:03:13,975 --> 00:03:15,841 Atta boy, Clark. 78 00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:17,292 Where you boys staying? 79 00:03:17,294 --> 00:03:19,795 How does it work in the rooms? You get a privacy partition? 80 00:03:19,797 --> 00:03:22,481 No. No, nope, not-- No, stay away. 81 00:03:22,483 --> 00:03:24,316 You know what I just realized? 82 00:03:24,318 --> 00:03:27,269 They might actually call me up to solo 83 00:03:27,271 --> 00:03:29,655 on George Michael's Faith. 84 00:03:29,657 --> 00:03:31,891 That was one of my signature songs. 85 00:03:31,893 --> 00:03:36,278 Oh, man. That would be insane. 86 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,548 I'm so not prepared. 87 00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:42,334 Are you sure you're okay with me putting in this much money? 88 00:03:42,336 --> 00:03:44,170 Yeah. I mean, listen, 89 00:03:44,172 --> 00:03:45,821 if we're gonna do this thing, then we should do it right. 90 00:03:45,823 --> 00:03:47,656 You're the best. 91 00:03:48,959 --> 00:03:50,659 I kind of am. [Chuckles] 92 00:03:50,661 --> 00:03:52,595 - It's crazy. - Okay. 93 00:03:52,597 --> 00:03:53,596 - I'll see you in a little bit. - Okay. 94 00:03:53,598 --> 00:03:54,797 Jim, look, I'm eating you. 95 00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:56,549 - Shut up. - Ha, ha! 96 00:03:56,551 --> 00:04:00,436 Hey, Erin, look, these are nerds. 97 00:04:00,438 --> 00:04:01,670 I'm eating Jims. 98 00:04:01,672 --> 00:04:04,640 [Both laugh] 99 00:04:04,642 --> 00:04:06,142 Must eat more Jims. 100 00:04:06,144 --> 00:04:08,027 [Chomping loudly] [Laughs] 101 00:04:08,029 --> 00:04:09,445 Stop it! Stop it! 102 00:04:09,447 --> 00:04:11,313 - I'm spilling Jims... - Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! 103 00:04:11,315 --> 00:04:13,149 - All over the carpet, Erin! - Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! 104 00:04:13,151 --> 00:04:16,535 [Laughs] 105 00:04:16,537 --> 00:04:18,571 Mm. Mm. 106 00:04:23,210 --> 00:04:27,246 Hello, little pill. What do you do? 107 00:04:28,965 --> 00:04:31,717 Dumatril is licensed to treat anxiety symptoms, 108 00:04:31,719 --> 00:04:35,204 such as panic attacks, excessive worrying, and fear. 109 00:04:35,206 --> 00:04:39,425 Translation, there's a madman in our midst. 110 00:04:40,393 --> 00:04:42,228 Okay, I give up. What are you? 111 00:04:42,230 --> 00:04:43,729 I'm Sexy Toby. 112 00:04:43,731 --> 00:04:46,265 [Laughs] Gross. 113 00:04:46,267 --> 00:04:48,184 I love it. [Laughs] 114 00:04:48,186 --> 00:04:50,886 Dumatril! 115 00:04:50,888 --> 00:04:53,155 Something wrong, Dwight? 116 00:04:53,157 --> 00:04:55,908 - Dumatril. - Yes? 117 00:04:55,910 --> 00:04:58,560 This is a pill I found here in the office, 118 00:04:58,562 --> 00:05:00,229 but it's not for worms or eczema, 119 00:05:00,231 --> 00:05:01,396 like any normal pill. 120 00:05:01,398 --> 00:05:03,732 It's not for any disorder of the body. 121 00:05:03,734 --> 00:05:05,901 [Whispering] It's for a disorder of the mind. 122 00:05:05,903 --> 00:05:08,788 The mind is part of the body. 123 00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:12,908 Okay, this is a pill that combats insanity, okay? 124 00:05:12,910 --> 00:05:15,711 Whoever is taking it is not only insane... 125 00:05:15,713 --> 00:05:18,097 [Whispering] they are now off their meds. 126 00:05:18,099 --> 00:05:20,099 Dwight, our co-workers' health issues 127 00:05:20,101 --> 00:05:21,383 are really none of our business, so-- 128 00:05:21,385 --> 00:05:23,919 Why are you trying so hard to bury this thing, huh? 129 00:05:23,921 --> 00:05:24,920 What's going on, Nellie? 130 00:05:24,922 --> 00:05:26,438 - Talk to me. - Mm? 131 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:27,773 It's my pill. 132 00:05:27,775 --> 00:05:30,776 I have an anxiety issue and I'm not ashamed of that, 133 00:05:30,778 --> 00:05:35,147 but I'm not loving the idea of Dwight having that information. 134 00:05:35,149 --> 00:05:39,819 I once saw him yell at Phyllis for sneezing wrong. 135 00:05:39,821 --> 00:05:40,820 Yeah, you're right. 136 00:05:40,822 --> 00:05:42,121 This man needs to be apprehended. 137 00:05:42,123 --> 00:05:44,206 I'll get my apprehension kit. 138 00:05:44,208 --> 00:05:47,209 [Scatting] ♪ Dudes... ♪ 139 00:05:47,211 --> 00:05:48,210 What's up? 140 00:05:48,212 --> 00:05:49,745 [Overlapping greetings] 141 00:05:49,747 --> 00:05:51,797 I know it's pathetic to re-live your college years, 142 00:05:51,799 --> 00:05:53,549 but cut me some slack, okay? 143 00:05:53,551 --> 00:05:57,002 Because I was a freaking rock star in college. 144 00:05:57,004 --> 00:05:58,587 When I joined Here Comes Treble, 145 00:05:58,589 --> 00:06:00,923 that's when I became somebody. 146 00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:02,925 When I got the nickname Boner Champ, 147 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:07,897 that is when I became me. 148 00:06:07,899 --> 00:06:10,065 You didn't come here to sit in a room, right? 149 00:06:10,067 --> 00:06:11,984 You came here for some intergenerational "bro" time. 150 00:06:11,986 --> 00:06:13,802 Well, now's your chance! I'm here. 151 00:06:13,804 --> 00:06:15,821 You got Qs, I got As. 152 00:06:18,391 --> 00:06:20,642 Did you say you've got AIDS? 153 00:06:20,644 --> 00:06:23,913 No, I don't have AIDS. That's not what I said. 154 00:06:23,915 --> 00:06:25,948 Next question. 155 00:06:28,451 --> 00:06:29,835 You don't have any-- 156 00:06:29,837 --> 00:06:33,488 any questions about the old days? 157 00:06:33,490 --> 00:06:35,841 [Clears throat] 158 00:06:35,843 --> 00:06:38,460 You at least want to know why they call me Boner Champ? 159 00:06:38,462 --> 00:06:41,513 I thought Broccoli Rob was the Boner Champ. 160 00:06:45,168 --> 00:06:47,136 I'm sorry, what? 161 00:06:47,138 --> 00:06:51,390 I just thought Broccoli Rob was the Boner Champ. 162 00:06:55,779 --> 00:07:00,199 Broccoli Rob was Broccoli Rob. 163 00:07:00,201 --> 00:07:02,318 Andy Bernard is the Boner Champ. 164 00:07:08,257 --> 00:07:13,676 - I hadn't realized that everybody here dresses up every year. - Me neither. 165 00:07:13,710 --> 00:07:15,361 It's Halloween. 166 00:07:15,395 --> 00:07:18,264 That is really, really good timing. 167 00:07:18,298 --> 00:07:20,299 I was just talking to some of the actives, 168 00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:23,269 and they think that you're Boner Champ. 169 00:07:23,303 --> 00:07:24,470 I'm so sorry. 170 00:07:24,521 --> 00:07:25,921 I don't know how that could've happened. 171 00:07:25,939 --> 00:07:28,107 Did you maybe tell them that or-- 172 00:07:28,141 --> 00:07:31,160 I just-- I just started yappin' about the old days, 173 00:07:31,194 --> 00:07:33,595 and I guess the wine coolers were flowing, 174 00:07:33,614 --> 00:07:36,148 and, you know, somehow things just got hinky. 175 00:07:36,199 --> 00:07:38,600 Could you call them and just tell them the truth? 176 00:07:38,619 --> 00:07:40,069 'Cause I know it's really stupid, 177 00:07:40,103 --> 00:07:42,955 but it's also really, really, really important. 178 00:07:42,990 --> 00:07:45,758 Will do. 179 00:07:45,792 --> 00:07:46,959 I love you, Andy. 180 00:07:46,994 --> 00:07:49,245 Love you too. 181 00:07:49,279 --> 00:07:51,247 So the workspace looks awesome. 182 00:07:51,281 --> 00:07:52,614 - Wow. - And the graphic designer 183 00:07:52,633 --> 00:07:54,634 is gonna be sending us in some of the logo treatments. 184 00:07:54,668 --> 00:07:55,635 Can't wait to see them. 185 00:07:55,669 --> 00:07:57,386 - You guys rock. - I killed it. 186 00:07:57,421 --> 00:07:59,722 - Boom. - Rockin'. 187 00:07:59,756 --> 00:08:01,223 Oh. [Laughs] 188 00:08:01,258 --> 00:08:02,308 - You get some? - There we go. 189 00:08:02,342 --> 00:08:04,176 I also have been running the numbers, 190 00:08:04,227 --> 00:08:06,562 and between our backers and our own investment, 191 00:08:06,596 --> 00:08:08,464 we're looking great for a full year on this. 192 00:08:08,482 --> 00:08:10,266 Oh, uh, is it too late to get in? 193 00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,667 Oh, no, no. 194 00:08:11,685 --> 00:08:13,853 Jim, I explained everything, so you're all set. 195 00:08:13,887 --> 00:08:15,337 Oh, no, I actually talked to my wife, 196 00:08:15,355 --> 00:08:17,890 and we'd really like to, you know, invest, 197 00:08:17,941 --> 00:08:19,191 get in on the ground floor. 198 00:08:19,226 --> 00:08:20,342 Wow, well, 199 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,528 what level of investment are you thinking about? 200 00:08:22,562 --> 00:08:28,016 We were thinking somewhere between $5,000, $10,000. 201 00:08:28,035 --> 00:08:29,318 I can do the full $10,000. 202 00:08:29,352 --> 00:08:30,319 We should just... 203 00:08:30,353 --> 00:08:31,320 [Blows air] all in. 204 00:08:31,354 --> 00:08:32,321 All right, welcome aboard. 205 00:08:32,355 --> 00:08:33,322 All right. [Laughs] 206 00:08:33,356 --> 00:08:34,407 Awesome, cool. 207 00:08:34,458 --> 00:08:37,877 Hey, Darryl. I'm just here to... 208 00:08:37,911 --> 00:08:40,246 Smear some peanut butter on my forehead. 209 00:08:40,297 --> 00:08:43,833 You know, to protect his brain from the nanobots 210 00:08:43,867 --> 00:08:47,553 that the government put in the air conditioning. 211 00:08:47,587 --> 00:08:50,172 That makes sense to you, right? 212 00:08:50,206 --> 00:08:53,542 Or does it sound... crazy? 213 00:08:57,681 --> 00:09:01,016 I can't really picture it. Can you get it on there? 214 00:09:01,050 --> 00:09:03,569 Yeah. 215 00:09:03,603 --> 00:09:06,238 And maybe get the cheeks. 216 00:09:06,273 --> 00:09:07,990 So this makes sense, then. 217 00:09:08,024 --> 00:09:09,191 Or is it crazy? 218 00:09:09,225 --> 00:09:12,060 Get under your chin first, yeah. 219 00:09:12,079 --> 00:09:13,612 Is that where the nanobots like to come in? 220 00:09:13,663 --> 00:09:15,414 Take it all the way up to your lip, yeah. 221 00:09:15,449 --> 00:09:17,700 Okay, is that how they like to get in? 222 00:09:17,734 --> 00:09:20,736 Yeah, that's crazy. 223 00:09:23,707 --> 00:09:26,459 I don't know. I just don't know. 224 00:09:26,510 --> 00:09:28,744 Yo, bad boys of a cappella. 225 00:09:28,762 --> 00:09:30,012 All: Hey. 226 00:09:30,046 --> 00:09:31,013 Heard any good stories lately? 227 00:09:31,047 --> 00:09:33,549 Or new twists on old stories? 228 00:09:33,583 --> 00:09:36,802 Yeah, I got a call from Broccoli Rob. 229 00:09:36,853 --> 00:09:39,254 I guess you really are the Boner Champ. 230 00:09:39,272 --> 00:09:40,890 Did he tell you how I got the name? 231 00:09:40,924 --> 00:09:41,941 No. 232 00:09:41,975 --> 00:09:44,443 Spring sing '95, 233 00:09:44,478 --> 00:09:47,947 got completely ripped on bud dries. 234 00:09:47,981 --> 00:09:51,367 I had sex with a snowman. 235 00:09:51,401 --> 00:09:53,819 I just went at that thing. 236 00:09:53,870 --> 00:09:55,287 Cold would've stopped most people, 237 00:09:55,322 --> 00:09:57,957 but I stayed locked in. You know, 238 00:09:57,991 --> 00:10:00,626 took the face off. Just seemed easier that way. 239 00:10:02,078 --> 00:10:03,746 And I told Phyllis not to put it out, 240 00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:06,549 but she insisted, so anyway... 241 00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:08,467 - Hi. Oh, Oscar. - Oh. 242 00:10:08,502 --> 00:10:10,619 Remember my husband, the senator? 243 00:10:10,637 --> 00:10:12,621 Senator Lipton, nice to see you. 244 00:10:12,639 --> 00:10:13,789 Nice to see you, Oscar. 245 00:10:13,807 --> 00:10:16,308 Wait a second, who designed this spread? 246 00:10:16,343 --> 00:10:18,293 The sweets and savories are all mixed together. 247 00:10:18,311 --> 00:10:19,311 This is mayhem. 248 00:10:19,346 --> 00:10:21,897 So, Oscar, you're a dinosaur? 249 00:10:21,932 --> 00:10:23,265 Actually, I'm the electoral college. 250 00:10:23,299 --> 00:10:25,651 Ouch! Right on target. 251 00:10:25,685 --> 00:10:26,652 [Laughs] 252 00:10:26,686 --> 00:10:28,237 You know what? This is outrageous. 253 00:10:28,271 --> 00:10:30,656 I have to find Phyllis. You two talk, okay? 254 00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:33,659 Sorry, babe. Phyllis! 255 00:10:33,693 --> 00:10:36,662 God, it's just so good to see you. 256 00:10:36,696 --> 00:10:39,365 I-- uh-huh, just... [Chuckles nervously] 257 00:10:39,416 --> 00:10:41,917 All having this wonderful Halloween gathering. 258 00:10:41,952 --> 00:10:43,118 Excuse me, is that punch? 259 00:10:43,152 --> 00:10:46,672 They didn't know about the snowman story, 260 00:10:46,706 --> 00:10:48,791 and when I told 'em, they were not impressed. 261 00:10:48,825 --> 00:10:51,177 - What is with these turkeys? - Right? 262 00:10:51,211 --> 00:10:53,929 Hey! You better do Faith, you get me? 263 00:10:53,964 --> 00:10:56,298 We don't know it. 264 00:10:56,332 --> 00:10:57,666 So learn it. 265 00:10:57,684 --> 00:10:59,768 You all go to Cornell, you're like eight Rain Men. 266 00:10:59,803 --> 00:11:01,003 Just learn the frickin' song. 267 00:11:01,021 --> 00:11:03,272 Look, I know it was big with the old guys, but-- 268 00:11:03,306 --> 00:11:06,225 Buts... are for pooping. 269 00:11:06,259 --> 00:11:07,359 Okay? Make it work. 270 00:11:07,394 --> 00:11:09,812 You have to or Andy will flip out... 271 00:11:09,846 --> 00:11:11,847 and make it a surprise please. 272 00:11:14,784 --> 00:11:17,653 This isn't stupid. 273 00:11:17,687 --> 00:11:19,688 What? 274 00:11:28,465 --> 00:11:30,866 - Hey. - Hey. 275 00:11:30,884 --> 00:11:32,251 Hey, Toby. 276 00:11:36,056 --> 00:11:37,973 Are-- are you me? 277 00:11:38,008 --> 00:11:39,725 Yeah. [Laughs] 278 00:11:39,759 --> 00:11:41,677 Oh, my goodness, look at-- [Both laughing] 279 00:11:41,711 --> 00:11:43,512 - Look at this. - Yeah. 280 00:11:43,546 --> 00:11:45,648 [Indistinct mumbling] I thought I'd, 281 00:11:45,682 --> 00:11:46,815 you know, be you. 282 00:11:46,850 --> 00:11:48,350 - Look at-- look at me. - Oh, look at you! 283 00:11:48,384 --> 00:11:50,069 [Laughs] 284 00:11:50,103 --> 00:11:52,104 It's funny, right? 285 00:11:59,062 --> 00:12:01,063 Mm. 286 00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:09,838 All right, all right, just stay focused on the pill. 287 00:12:09,873 --> 00:12:13,626 Okay, look, Dwight, let's just call this thing off. 288 00:12:13,677 --> 00:12:15,127 I mean, it's just an anxiety pill. 289 00:12:15,178 --> 00:12:16,578 Lots of people have anxiety. 290 00:12:16,596 --> 00:12:17,579 You think I don't have anxiety? 291 00:12:17,597 --> 00:12:18,847 I have anxiety all the time. 292 00:12:18,882 --> 00:12:21,016 Every waking moment of my life is sheer torture. 293 00:12:21,051 --> 00:12:23,752 I have land disputes to settle and idiot cousins to protect 294 00:12:23,770 --> 00:12:25,888 and ne'er-do-well siblings to take care of, 295 00:12:25,922 --> 00:12:27,473 but I don't need some stupid pill 296 00:12:27,507 --> 00:12:28,724 to get me through all this. 297 00:12:28,758 --> 00:12:30,258 Cool, free upper. 298 00:12:30,277 --> 00:12:32,928 Ah, ha, ha! The jig is up, psychopath! 299 00:12:32,946 --> 00:12:34,446 - What? Hey, what-- - Yeah! Yeah, gotcha! 300 00:12:34,481 --> 00:12:36,264 - Don't dog-catch me! - Gotcha! 301 00:12:36,283 --> 00:12:37,432 - Yeah! - Oh! 302 00:12:37,450 --> 00:12:38,767 Let's see you get out of this web, huh? 303 00:12:38,785 --> 00:12:40,903 - The pill is mine. - Wh-- 304 00:12:40,937 --> 00:12:42,371 Get her out. 305 00:12:42,405 --> 00:12:45,107 - Oh. - Stop baggin' my head! 306 00:12:47,544 --> 00:12:48,777 [Door slams] 307 00:12:48,795 --> 00:12:50,913 [Sighs] 308 00:12:50,947 --> 00:12:54,333 Oh, Dwight, look, it's just a pill, all right? 309 00:12:54,384 --> 00:12:56,284 It's for anxiety-- I take it every day, 310 00:12:56,303 --> 00:12:59,388 and it makes me feel better. 311 00:12:59,422 --> 00:13:02,908 And maybe it could help you too. 312 00:13:02,943 --> 00:13:05,311 [Indistinct chatter] 313 00:13:05,345 --> 00:13:06,628 - Oh, hey! How'd it go? - Hey. 314 00:13:06,646 --> 00:13:08,147 Oh, man, it was great. They were great. 315 00:13:08,181 --> 00:13:09,398 Did you end up investing? 316 00:13:09,432 --> 00:13:11,350 - I did, yeah. - How much? 317 00:13:11,401 --> 00:13:15,771 Uh, man, by the end, I guess it was... about ten. 318 00:13:15,805 --> 00:13:17,740 "About" ten? 319 00:13:17,774 --> 00:13:19,825 Ten. It was the full $10,000. 320 00:13:19,859 --> 00:13:22,328 - Wow. - Yeah. 321 00:13:22,362 --> 00:13:24,330 - Wow. - Yeah. Yeah. 322 00:13:24,364 --> 00:13:25,497 It's a good thing we talked about it, though, 323 00:13:25,532 --> 00:13:27,166 - 'cause we had to-- - Yeah, yeah, no. 324 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,834 Yeah. 325 00:13:28,868 --> 00:13:30,169 - So did everybody-- - What is it? Hold on. 326 00:13:30,203 --> 00:13:31,620 Did everybody end up investing $10,000? 327 00:13:31,654 --> 00:13:33,989 Um, oh, man, I don't actually know. 328 00:13:34,007 --> 00:13:35,457 What? 329 00:13:35,491 --> 00:13:36,792 They weren't really talking that much about money. 330 00:13:36,826 --> 00:13:38,627 They just said, "we're good with investing," 331 00:13:38,661 --> 00:13:39,712 and-- and I-- 332 00:13:39,763 --> 00:13:44,133 Ladies and gentlemen, Here Comes Treble. 333 00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:45,934 [A cappella group vocalizing] 334 00:13:45,969 --> 00:13:47,502 They said they were done with the investing, 335 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,104 and then you volunteered $10,000? 336 00:13:49,139 --> 00:13:51,357 - ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ - No, no, I had to. 337 00:13:51,391 --> 00:13:52,775 Look, I needed to look like a team player, Pam. 338 00:13:52,809 --> 00:13:54,676 So you invested $10,000 to look like a team player? 339 00:13:54,694 --> 00:13:56,195 - You weren't there. All: - ♪ And I'll be... ♪ 340 00:13:56,229 --> 00:13:58,147 It was very clear that $10,000 was what we had-- 341 00:13:58,181 --> 00:13:59,615 - We'll talk about it later. - No, I want to 342 00:13:59,649 --> 00:14:02,184 - talk about it now. - Pam. 343 00:14:02,202 --> 00:14:05,287 Jim, that was most of our savings. 344 00:14:05,321 --> 00:14:11,076 ♪ And I'll be better when I'm older ♪ 345 00:14:11,127 --> 00:14:17,032 ♪ I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪ 346 00:14:17,050 --> 00:14:19,918 Wait. Wait, hold on. 347 00:14:19,969 --> 00:14:22,838 Where's the band? 'Cause there's no way 348 00:14:22,872 --> 00:14:24,757 you guys are making this magic with just your mouths. 349 00:14:24,808 --> 00:14:25,874 That's what she said. 350 00:14:25,892 --> 00:14:28,227 What, am I overdoing it? 351 00:14:28,261 --> 00:14:30,879 No. No. 352 00:14:30,897 --> 00:14:32,097 ♪ That color them wonderful stop me ♪ 353 00:14:32,148 --> 00:14:33,565 - We said "some." - We'll talk about it. 354 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,900 - We said "some." - We'll talk about it later. 355 00:14:34,934 --> 00:14:35,984 ♪ Steal my breath ♪ 356 00:14:36,019 --> 00:14:38,987 We said "part," not "all." 357 00:14:39,022 --> 00:14:41,890 ♪ And I'll be ♪ 358 00:14:41,908 --> 00:14:43,659 ♪ your crying shoulder ♪ 359 00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,897 ♪ Fill up and you don't have to pay ♪ 360 00:14:51,899 --> 00:14:53,047 ♪ bah dah bah ♪ 361 00:14:53,049 --> 00:14:55,734 ♪ come on and give us a play ♪ 362 00:14:55,736 --> 00:14:57,352 All: ♪ get a wash right away ♪ 363 00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:59,721 - ♪ car wash, yeah ♪ - Yes! 364 00:14:59,723 --> 00:15:01,690 - Oh, man. - That's how you do that! 365 00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:04,659 - Whoo! - Thank you. 366 00:15:04,661 --> 00:15:06,411 Show some pride. This is crap. 367 00:15:06,413 --> 00:15:09,547 I agree, yes. Crap. Continue. 368 00:15:09,549 --> 00:15:12,500 Now, folks, by special request, 369 00:15:12,502 --> 00:15:14,603 we're going to take it a little old school. 370 00:15:14,605 --> 00:15:18,173 There is a former Trebler in this room. 371 00:15:18,175 --> 00:15:19,240 Who? 372 00:15:19,242 --> 00:15:21,242 It's Mr. Andy Bernard! 373 00:15:21,244 --> 00:15:23,878 [Humming on tuning harp] 374 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,931 [Humming George Michael's Faith] 375 00:15:25,933 --> 00:15:28,767 No, do not sing that. Do not-- oh, man. 376 00:15:28,769 --> 00:15:31,803 He reminded us today of how much he means to us, 377 00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,522 and we certainly seem to mean a lot to him, 378 00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:37,225 so without any further ado, here's an old Treble classic. 379 00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:40,762 ♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪ 380 00:15:40,764 --> 00:15:42,930 ♪ dank, dank, dank, dank, dank ♪ 381 00:15:42,932 --> 00:15:44,783 ♪ dig-a, dank, dank, dank ♪ 382 00:15:44,785 --> 00:15:46,651 Both: ♪ a-well, I guess it would be nice ♪ 383 00:15:46,653 --> 00:15:49,120 ♪ if I could touch your body ♪ 384 00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:53,792 ♪ I know not everybody has got a body like you ♪ 385 00:15:53,794 --> 00:15:55,994 - ♪ but I gotta think twice ♪ - Whoa! Whoa! 386 00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:57,245 ♪ Before I give my heart away ♪ 387 00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,447 What the hell is Broccoli Rob doing here? 388 00:15:59,449 --> 00:16:00,799 She said you wanted to hear Faith. 389 00:16:00,801 --> 00:16:02,751 That's Broccoli Rob's signature song. 390 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:05,253 ♪ Oh, but I need some time off from that emotion ♪ 391 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,121 That's my signature song. 392 00:16:07,123 --> 00:16:09,140 I really didn't know that, man. 393 00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:11,259 I just thought you wanted to hear it. 394 00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,261 Russell, I'm dressed like George Michael. 395 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,597 I thought you were Adam Lambert. 397 00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:22,187 the more I think it's kind of pathetic, 398 00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,856 but when you're with someone, you put up with the stuff 399 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,574 that makes you lose respect for them, 400 00:16:26,576 --> 00:16:29,143 and that is love. 401 00:16:29,145 --> 00:16:31,079 Are you okay? 402 00:16:31,081 --> 00:16:32,447 - He's still mad. - Okay. 403 00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:34,949 Shut up, Broccoli. 404 00:16:34,951 --> 00:16:37,819 Champ, I feel awful about this whole thing. 405 00:16:37,821 --> 00:16:39,170 Russell called me up, 406 00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:43,041 and they said they needed 20 ccs of George Michael, stat, 407 00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:45,493 so just... wham! I sprang into action. 408 00:16:45,495 --> 00:16:47,012 You know me. 409 00:16:47,014 --> 00:16:49,514 I assumed you wanted to hear me do your signature number. 410 00:16:49,516 --> 00:16:51,433 You thought I wanted to sit in the audience 411 00:16:51,435 --> 00:16:52,884 like some slutty Treb rat? 412 00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:55,353 A man's signature solo is his for life. 413 00:16:55,355 --> 00:16:57,355 Okay? That's group policy and you know it. 414 00:16:57,357 --> 00:17:00,191 Look, it's not my fault I still live near campus, 415 00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:02,360 and it's my duty as an alum 416 00:17:02,362 --> 00:17:03,862 to be friendly to the young guys, 417 00:17:03,864 --> 00:17:07,198 and stop in two, three times a week. 418 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,666 Just don't do the song anymore. 419 00:17:08,668 --> 00:17:11,018 I'll tell you what... We'll have a sing-off for it. 420 00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:13,688 You pick 12 alums from any year to back you up 421 00:17:13,690 --> 00:17:15,407 and I'll do the same, 422 00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:16,825 and I'm so confident that I'll win, 423 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,376 I won't even warm up. 424 00:17:18,378 --> 00:17:20,361 Fine, go ahead, thrash your pipes. 425 00:17:20,363 --> 00:17:22,330 My pipes are primo, Champ! 426 00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:26,051 Why don't you ask Trey Anastasio about my pipes? 427 00:17:26,053 --> 00:17:28,720 I knew you would go there, you son of a bitch! 428 00:17:28,722 --> 00:17:32,707 He said, and I quote, "hey, Rob, nice pipes." 429 00:17:32,709 --> 00:17:34,592 - That happened! - Okay, fine, yeah, 430 00:17:34,594 --> 00:17:35,593 - that's one guy's opinion. - That's real! 431 00:17:35,595 --> 00:17:37,145 - That'll never change! - Okay! 432 00:17:37,147 --> 00:17:40,181 Okay, doesn't mean you're the best singer ever! 433 00:17:40,183 --> 00:17:41,349 Dick. 434 00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:43,050 I thought that concert was pretty great. 435 00:17:43,052 --> 00:17:46,855 Oh, yeah. I decided acapelca music is awesome. 436 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,823 They lost me when they sang Monster Mash. 437 00:17:48,825 --> 00:17:51,743 That song obviously glorifies the occult. 438 00:17:51,745 --> 00:17:54,612 Angela, it's Halloween. You have to sing Monster Mash. 439 00:17:54,614 --> 00:17:57,398 Oh, you have to, Jim? You literally have to? 440 00:17:58,534 --> 00:18:00,118 Uh... 441 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,569 No, I'm just-- I'm saying, 442 00:18:01,571 --> 00:18:04,005 what would happen if they didn't sing it? 443 00:18:04,007 --> 00:18:07,041 Would they go to jail? Would they be shot? 444 00:18:07,043 --> 00:18:10,211 Okay. We'll just forget it. 445 00:18:10,213 --> 00:18:11,713 - No, no, I'm interested. - Mm-hmm. 446 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,131 I mean, I think everybody's interested 447 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,249 in why they have to sing it. 448 00:18:15,251 --> 00:18:17,084 - 'Cause it is Halloween. - Mm-hmm. 449 00:18:17,086 --> 00:18:18,303 So if you're gonna sing a concert, 450 00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:19,420 it's a good idea to throw that one in. 451 00:18:19,422 --> 00:18:20,522 Yeah, yeah, no, no, 452 00:18:20,524 --> 00:18:22,223 it's a good idea to brush your teeth, 453 00:18:22,225 --> 00:18:25,443 but you have to, um, feed your children, 454 00:18:25,445 --> 00:18:27,745 send them to school. 455 00:18:27,747 --> 00:18:28,897 You know, all things you can't do 456 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,282 if you just keep singing Monster Mash. 457 00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:37,122 It turns out Pam really, really hates Monster Mash. 458 00:18:37,124 --> 00:18:41,459 I mean, like, never bring that song up in front of her. 459 00:18:41,461 --> 00:18:45,446 Even though Jim was making great points, 460 00:18:45,448 --> 00:18:47,248 like, in favor of the song, 461 00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:52,954 Pam was like, "no. Hate it. Stupid." 462 00:18:52,956 --> 00:18:55,757 This is all so silly, right? 463 00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,142 [Grunts] 464 00:18:57,144 --> 00:18:58,843 What am I gonna do, move back to Cornell? 465 00:18:58,845 --> 00:19:01,146 [Laughs] Yeah. 466 00:19:01,148 --> 00:19:03,515 I mean, what if we did that? 467 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:06,768 Like, we got jobs and we were happy all the time? 468 00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:09,187 Oh, well, Andy, we're not moving to Cornell. 469 00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,805 [Chuckles] Duh, I know. 470 00:19:10,807 --> 00:19:12,690 - That would be insane. - Yeah. 471 00:19:12,692 --> 00:19:15,026 It could totally work, though. 472 00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:18,329 I don't know why we wouldn't. 473 00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:19,781 Oh, my God, are we doing this? 474 00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:23,117 Oy. Andy, what is going on? 475 00:19:24,503 --> 00:19:29,090 If I am not Boner Champ... 476 00:19:29,092 --> 00:19:30,842 I don't know who I am. 477 00:19:30,844 --> 00:19:34,212 Well, you know, maybe you're the wise, old guy 478 00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:38,800 that the new, um, B-O-N-E-R Champ looks up to. 479 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:40,167 You know, you could just-- 480 00:19:40,169 --> 00:19:41,168 Make a donation. 481 00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:43,354 Well, I was gonna say be a mentor. 482 00:19:43,356 --> 00:19:45,673 Yes. 483 00:19:45,675 --> 00:19:48,393 I'm gonna make a donation. 484 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:50,311 And it just so happens I know someone 485 00:19:50,313 --> 00:19:52,730 who works at the Bernard family foundation. 486 00:19:52,732 --> 00:19:55,233 - Her name is "mom." - Oh. 487 00:20:00,706 --> 00:20:02,356 [Whispering] I want some of those pills. 488 00:20:02,358 --> 00:20:04,542 Oh. Well, good for you. 489 00:20:04,544 --> 00:20:05,793 I mean, you'll need a prescription. 490 00:20:05,795 --> 00:20:07,795 Oh, no. No, no, no, they're not for me. 491 00:20:07,797 --> 00:20:09,697 They're for my cousin Mose. 492 00:20:09,699 --> 00:20:12,717 He's just having a tough time, being wifeless 493 00:20:12,719 --> 00:20:16,337 and a high-pressure job and his crazy cousin Mose. 494 00:20:16,339 --> 00:20:17,589 - Other cousin Mose. - Mm. 495 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:21,709 Got it. Well, you tell Mose 496 00:20:21,711 --> 00:20:24,762 that he's a good man and I hope he feels better. 497 00:20:26,765 --> 00:20:30,735 Which one? Mose or the real Mose? 498 00:20:30,737 --> 00:20:33,054 The real Mose. 499 00:20:33,056 --> 00:20:35,556 He says thank you. 500 00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:40,173 Mom, I had this really charitable idea 501 00:20:40,182 --> 00:20:43,332 to set up a scholarship for a cappella kids at Cornell, 502 00:20:43,334 --> 00:20:45,802 and just need to wire some money over there. 503 00:20:45,804 --> 00:20:47,169 What? 504 00:20:47,171 --> 00:20:49,171 [A cappella group singing Cornell Alma Mater] 505 00:20:49,173 --> 00:20:52,675 ♪ Far above the busy humming ♪ 506 00:20:52,677 --> 00:20:55,295 ♪ of the bustling town ♪ 507 00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:58,514 ♪ reared against the arch of heaven looks she proudly down ♪ 508 00:20:58,516 --> 00:21:00,984 What's wrong? 509 00:21:00,986 --> 00:21:04,120 My parents are broke. 510 00:21:04,122 --> 00:21:07,574 ♪ Lift the chorus, speed it onward ♪ 511 00:21:07,576 --> 00:21:12,194 ♪ loud her praises tell ♪ 512 00:21:12,196 --> 00:21:16,132 ♪ hail to thee, our alma mater ♪ 513 00:21:16,134 --> 00:21:20,169 ♪ hail, all hail, Cornell ♪