1
00:00:02,060 --> 00:00:04,278
(disco music playing)
2
00:00:13,538 --> 00:00:15,089
Try to keep
up, Howard!
3
00:00:15,091 --> 00:00:17,508
I'm killing it!
4
00:00:17,510 --> 00:00:20,077
Yeah, I wish we looked
as cool dancing in clubs
5
00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:22,246
as we do right now.
6
00:00:22,248 --> 00:00:25,082
Don't worry, this is
exactly how you look
7
00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:26,750
when you're dancing in clubs.
8
00:00:26,752 --> 00:00:30,071
You're welcome, ladies.
9
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:33,307
Paradigm-shifting
news, gentlemen!
10
00:00:33,309 --> 00:00:34,809
(music stops)
Dude!
11
00:00:34,811 --> 00:00:37,395
I was about to Bollywood
this bitch.
12
00:00:37,397 --> 00:00:40,431
Earlier today, I invited
13
00:00:40,433 --> 00:00:42,766
Professor Stephen Hawking
to join me
14
00:00:42,768 --> 00:00:45,319
in the popular online game
Words with Friends.
15
00:00:45,321 --> 00:00:49,040
Moments ago,
he accepted my request.
16
00:00:49,042 --> 00:00:50,774
Do you understand
what that means?
17
00:00:50,776 --> 00:00:52,793
That somewhere right now
Stephen Hawking is saying,
18
00:00:52,795 --> 00:00:55,379
(imitating Stephen Hawking):
"Damn it.
19
00:00:55,381 --> 00:00:57,614
I meant to click no."
20
00:00:59,418 --> 00:01:01,168
I'll walk you through it.
21
00:01:01,170 --> 00:01:04,889
The game is not called
Words with Strangers.
22
00:01:04,891 --> 00:01:06,507
No, it's not
even called
23
00:01:06,509 --> 00:01:08,009
Words with Acquaintances.
24
00:01:08,011 --> 00:01:09,377
It is called
25
00:01:09,379 --> 00:01:11,679
Words with...
26
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:14,965
I'm not finishing your sentence.
27
00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:16,633
You pulled the plug on my funk.
28
00:01:16,635 --> 00:01:18,552
Friends!
29
00:01:18,554 --> 00:01:20,304
It's Words with Friends!
30
00:01:20,306 --> 00:01:21,772
Which Stephen
Hawking and I
31
00:01:21,774 --> 00:01:22,973
officially are.
32
00:01:22,975 --> 00:01:25,443
Now all I need is
a bunk bed with a slide;
33
00:01:25,445 --> 00:01:26,861
I'll have everything
I've ever wanted
34
00:01:26,863 --> 00:01:29,080
since I was six years old.
35
00:01:29,082 --> 00:01:30,197
That's really nice,
Sheldon.
36
00:01:30,199 --> 00:01:31,282
I'm happy for you.
37
00:01:31,284 --> 00:01:33,150
And I'm happy for you, too.
38
00:01:33,152 --> 00:01:34,535
You are now friends with someone
39
00:01:34,537 --> 00:01:37,121
who is officially friends
with Stephen Hawking.
40
00:01:37,123 --> 00:01:38,289
Enjoy it, boys.
41
00:01:38,291 --> 00:01:39,757
You may have peaked.
42
00:01:40,826 --> 00:01:42,626
Sheldon, I know
Stephen Hawking.
43
00:01:42,628 --> 00:01:43,995
I worked with him.
44
00:01:43,997 --> 00:01:45,846
And if they ever come out
with a game called
45
00:01:45,848 --> 00:01:47,181
Words with People
You Once Worked with,
46
00:01:47,183 --> 00:01:48,482
you'll be off to the races.
47
00:01:50,302 --> 00:01:51,936
Sheldon, I don't think
this actually means...
48
00:01:51,938 --> 00:01:52,887
(tablet chimes)
49
00:01:52,889 --> 00:01:54,171
Hold that thought!
50
00:01:54,173 --> 00:01:56,774
Professor Hawking
has made a move.
51
00:01:56,776 --> 00:01:58,442
Boy, oh, boy.
52
00:01:58,444 --> 00:02:00,027
Oh, it's only a matter of time
53
00:02:00,029 --> 00:02:02,947
before we're coming up with
fun nicknames for each other.
54
00:02:03,882 --> 00:02:05,666
I'll be Coop.
55
00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:09,236
He'll be Wheels.
56
00:02:09,238 --> 00:02:12,022
If he's okay with that.
57
00:02:13,075 --> 00:02:14,809
All right.
(disco music resumes)
58
00:02:14,811 --> 00:02:17,211
Crank up the AC, boy!
59
00:02:17,213 --> 00:02:18,929
It's gonna get hot in here!
60
00:02:21,166 --> 00:02:24,802
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
61
00:02:24,804 --> 00:02:28,139
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
62
00:02:28,141 --> 00:02:29,757
♪ The Earth began to cool
63
00:02:29,759 --> 00:02:32,293
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
64
00:02:32,295 --> 00:02:34,962
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
65
00:02:34,964 --> 00:02:37,648
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
66
00:02:37,650 --> 00:02:39,550
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
67
00:02:39,552 --> 00:02:41,519
♪ Bang! ♪
68
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:45,520
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x06 ♪
The Extract Obliteration
Original Air Date on November 1, 2012
69
00:02:45,521 --> 00:02:49,521
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
70
00:02:50,429 --> 00:02:52,397
So, I was taking
a shower this morning,
71
00:02:52,399 --> 00:02:54,549
and when I got out, I
started to dry off with
72
00:02:54,551 --> 00:02:57,202
what I thought was a towel
but turned out to be
73
00:02:57,204 --> 00:02:59,604
Howard's mom's underwear.
74
00:03:03,359 --> 00:03:06,277
I had to take another shower.
75
00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:09,764
It wasn't enough.
76
00:03:11,584 --> 00:03:15,003
Nothing will ever be enough.
77
00:03:15,005 --> 00:03:17,305
I once looked in Sheldon's
underwear drawer.
78
00:03:17,307 --> 00:03:18,473
He yelled at me.
79
00:03:18,475 --> 00:03:20,708
But now I know
what it looks like
80
00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:23,344
and he can never take that away.
81
00:03:23,346 --> 00:03:24,462
There's a book
under here.
82
00:03:24,464 --> 00:03:25,463
Oh, I'll get that.
83
00:03:25,465 --> 00:03:27,065
I got it. I got it.
No, no, it's...
84
00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:29,684
Why do you have
a history textbook?
85
00:03:29,686 --> 00:03:31,352
It's not a big deal.
86
00:03:31,354 --> 00:03:32,337
Just taking a class
87
00:03:32,339 --> 00:03:34,522
at the Pasadena
Community College.
88
00:03:34,524 --> 00:03:35,773
That's great.
89
00:03:35,775 --> 00:03:37,442
I didn't know you wanted
to go back to school.
90
00:03:37,444 --> 00:03:38,860
It's just one history class.
91
00:03:38,862 --> 00:03:40,161
Look, I didn't finish college,
92
00:03:40,163 --> 00:03:41,829
so I thought
I would give it a try.
93
00:03:41,831 --> 00:03:43,814
Not to mention,
your acting career
94
00:03:43,816 --> 00:03:46,067
is going south like Sherman.
95
00:03:47,870 --> 00:03:50,622
Read about it in your book.
96
00:03:51,724 --> 00:03:53,992
Why would you be embarrassed
to tell us?
97
00:03:53,994 --> 00:03:54,959
No, I'm not embarrassed.
98
00:03:54,961 --> 00:03:56,211
I just didn't want
anyone to know
99
00:03:56,213 --> 00:03:57,428
because I haven't
told Leonard yet.
100
00:03:57,430 --> 00:03:58,880
Why wouldn't you tell Leonard?
101
00:03:58,882 --> 00:04:00,598
Because it's me
going back to school,
102
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,384
and he's gonna be all "you can
do it," and "how can I help?"
103
00:04:03,386 --> 00:04:04,669
and "I'm so proud of you."
104
00:04:04,671 --> 00:04:06,621
Ugh!
105
00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:09,474
I just can't believe you could
106
00:04:09,476 --> 00:04:10,942
keep something like that
from him.
107
00:04:10,944 --> 00:04:14,178
You guys have got to be
the weirdest couple I know.
108
00:04:19,585 --> 00:04:21,452
Really?
109
00:04:22,738 --> 00:04:26,708
You can't think
of anyone weirder?
110
00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:28,710
I can,
111
00:04:28,712 --> 00:04:30,995
(whispers):
but she's sitting right there.
112
00:04:35,417 --> 00:04:36,751
Yes!
113
00:04:36,753 --> 00:04:40,421
I play the word "quiver "
with a triple letter
114
00:04:40,423 --> 00:04:44,008
and a double word
score for 72 points.
115
00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:47,345
That ought to let the air
out of your tires, Hawking.
116
00:04:49,064 --> 00:04:52,383
Wow, my boyfriend is friends
with Stephen Hawking
117
00:04:52,385 --> 00:04:54,986
and my new dandruff shampoo
doesn't smell like tar.
118
00:04:55,938 --> 00:05:00,141
Everything really is
coming up Amy.
119
00:05:00,143 --> 00:05:02,160
It is glorious.
120
00:05:02,162 --> 00:05:04,696
One of the greatest intellects
of our time
121
00:05:04,698 --> 00:05:08,232
has agreed to engage with me
in a gentlemanly battle of wits.
122
00:05:08,234 --> 00:05:10,001
And I'm spanking him so hard
123
00:05:10,003 --> 00:05:13,738
his grad students
won't be able to sit down.
124
00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:16,174
You know, when one male
dominates another,
125
00:05:16,176 --> 00:05:18,042
his testosterone level rises.
126
00:05:18,044 --> 00:05:19,677
What's your point?
127
00:05:19,679 --> 00:05:23,531
It's exciting to think you might
be getting a testosterone level.
128
00:05:28,220 --> 00:05:29,687
(tablet chimes)
Ooh!
129
00:05:29,689 --> 00:05:33,491
My friend Stephen just played
the word "act" for 18 points.
130
00:05:33,493 --> 00:05:36,394
That's right, I call
him Stephen now.
131
00:05:36,396 --> 00:05:40,031
Because I checked, and he
was not okay with Wheels.
132
00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:43,701
Oh, you could turn
his "act" into "extract,"
133
00:05:43,703 --> 00:05:45,520
and it would be
for double points.
134
00:05:45,522 --> 00:05:46,821
Amy.
135
00:05:46,823 --> 00:05:48,373
Why would you
give me a word?
136
00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:51,326
Now, if I play "extract"
it would be cheating.
137
00:05:51,328 --> 00:05:52,160
Sorry.
138
00:05:52,162 --> 00:05:54,162
Although, I could play
139
00:05:54,164 --> 00:05:58,516
the completely unrelated
and better word "extract"
140
00:06:00,285 --> 00:06:03,137
Ethical conundrum
avoided.
141
00:06:03,139 --> 00:06:06,507
Thanks, brain.
142
00:06:07,676 --> 00:06:10,094
Spaghetti okay?
143
00:06:10,096 --> 00:06:11,929
It's crunchy.
144
00:06:11,931 --> 00:06:14,766
Just the way
I like it.
145
00:06:14,768 --> 00:06:19,153
Yeah, I don't think
the water was really boiling.
146
00:06:19,155 --> 00:06:20,922
It's great. I love it.
147
00:06:20,924 --> 00:06:22,240
(chuckles)
148
00:06:22,242 --> 00:06:24,609
Okay, listen, there's something
I need to tell you.
149
00:06:24,611 --> 00:06:27,829
I've been thinking about going
back to school for a while now.
150
00:06:27,831 --> 00:06:30,314
So a couple months ago,
I started taking a history class
151
00:06:30,316 --> 00:06:31,416
at the community college.
152
00:06:31,418 --> 00:06:32,817
Oh.
153
00:06:32,819 --> 00:06:35,086
That's great!
Great, great, great!
154
00:06:35,088 --> 00:06:36,938
Why wait so long
to tell me?
155
00:06:36,940 --> 00:06:39,374
I don't want you
to make a big deal out of it.
156
00:06:39,376 --> 00:06:40,758
Why do you think
I'd be like that?
157
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,427
I get it, you're taking
one class. It's nice.
158
00:06:42,429 --> 00:06:43,494
Maybe if it goes well,
159
00:06:43,496 --> 00:06:44,629
you take another,
you enroll full-time.
160
00:06:44,631 --> 00:06:45,847
Ooh, be sure to
keep an eye on
161
00:06:45,849 --> 00:06:48,399
which credits transfer
to a four-year college.
162
00:06:48,401 --> 00:06:50,918
You're making it a big deal.
163
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,387
Sorry. Whatever.
164
00:06:52,389 --> 00:06:54,889
It's all good.
165
00:06:54,891 --> 00:06:55,940
Anyway, that's it.
166
00:06:55,942 --> 00:06:57,225
I just thought
you should know.
167
00:06:57,227 --> 00:07:00,094
Am I allowed to ask
how the class is going?
168
00:07:00,096 --> 00:07:01,312
It's really good.
169
00:07:01,314 --> 00:07:03,064
We've been talking about
the origins of slavery.
170
00:07:03,066 --> 00:07:04,348
Turn in
my first paper tomorrow.
171
00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:06,016
Great topic. I can
help with that.
172
00:07:06,018 --> 00:07:08,035
There are lots of different
perspectives you can take:
173
00:07:08,037 --> 00:07:09,537
economic, sociological,
political...
174
00:07:09,539 --> 00:07:11,522
Hey, this is my paper.
175
00:07:11,524 --> 00:07:15,192
And my perspective
is that slavery is bad.
176
00:07:16,862 --> 00:07:18,195
Oh, and my professor's black,
177
00:07:18,197 --> 00:07:20,264
so I'm pretty sure
that's the right answer.
178
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,050
Can I take a look?
179
00:07:23,052 --> 00:07:25,586
No, Leonard,
this is my thing.
180
00:07:25,588 --> 00:07:27,221
Okay, I get it.
181
00:07:27,223 --> 00:07:28,723
Thank you.
182
00:07:28,725 --> 00:07:30,341
It's like when I
started doing chin-ups;
183
00:07:30,343 --> 00:07:34,112
I didn't want you to see
until I could do one.
184
00:07:34,114 --> 00:07:37,582
FYI, really close.
185
00:07:37,584 --> 00:07:39,383
Thank you.
186
00:07:39,385 --> 00:07:40,902
Now behave yourself
and eat your dinner.
187
00:07:40,904 --> 00:07:41,903
Maybe later, if you're lucky,
188
00:07:41,905 --> 00:07:43,438
you get to sleep with
a college girl.
189
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:44,522
Really?
190
00:07:44,524 --> 00:07:46,190
'Cause I went to
four years of college
191
00:07:46,192 --> 00:07:48,659
and five years of grad school,
that never happened once.
192
00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:54,749
I think the next time I have to
speak to a call center in India,
193
00:07:54,751 --> 00:07:58,035
I'm going to try using
an American accent.
194
00:08:00,372 --> 00:08:01,873
Why?
195
00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:04,258
Because when I use
my regular voice,
196
00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:06,811
I feel like
I'm making fun of them.
197
00:08:09,264 --> 00:08:10,848
That's ridiculous.
198
00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:13,184
Not to mention, your
American accent is terrible.
199
00:08:13,186 --> 00:08:15,303
Dude, my accent is brilliant.
200
00:08:15,305 --> 00:08:17,388
(American accent): Hey,
my snow-white American friends,
201
00:08:17,390 --> 00:08:19,190
let's put some cow meat
on the barbecue
202
00:08:19,192 --> 00:08:22,977
and eat it
until we're all obese.
203
00:08:22,979 --> 00:08:24,729
This is what you sound like.
204
00:08:24,731 --> 00:08:26,280
(imitating Koothrappali):
I think I'm talking
205
00:08:26,282 --> 00:08:28,816
in an American accent,
but it really sounds like
206
00:08:28,818 --> 00:08:31,986
I'm wearing a set
of giant dentures.
207
00:08:31,988 --> 00:08:34,956
Sheldon, do I really
sound like that?
208
00:08:34,958 --> 00:08:37,325
(imitating Koothrappali):
Tell him he sounds like that.
209
00:08:39,161 --> 00:08:40,812
Sheldon, you okay?
210
00:08:40,814 --> 00:08:43,898
It's been three days.
211
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:47,185
Why hasn't Stephen
Hawking played a word?
212
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:49,954
The guy's a genius.
213
00:08:49,956 --> 00:08:51,956
Maybe you weren't
challenging enough for him.
214
00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:53,257
Not challenging?
215
00:08:53,259 --> 00:08:54,959
I was humiliating
the man.
216
00:08:54,961 --> 00:08:57,645
I was thinking of writing a
book called A Brief History of
217
00:08:57,647 --> 00:09:00,898
the Time I Made Stephen Hawking
Cry Like a Little Girl.
218
00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:03,518
There's the problem.
219
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,302
You can't beat Hawking
like that.
220
00:09:05,304 --> 00:09:06,521
He hates to lose.
221
00:09:06,523 --> 00:09:08,689
Everyone knows the
guy's a big baby.
222
00:09:08,691 --> 00:09:12,527
I mean, forget the wheelchair,
he should be in a stroller.
223
00:09:14,746 --> 00:09:16,447
Really?
224
00:09:16,449 --> 00:09:18,332
One time when I was
working with him,
225
00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:21,335
he said that Johnny Depp
was in The Matrix.
226
00:09:21,337 --> 00:09:24,121
I told him he was wrong,
but he kept insisting.
227
00:09:24,123 --> 00:09:26,624
So I looked it up
online and showed him.
228
00:09:26,626 --> 00:09:29,510
Well, the next day,
he had a pizza party,
229
00:09:29,512 --> 00:09:33,464
and everyone got invited but me.
230
00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:35,550
And then he was all,
231
00:09:35,552 --> 00:09:37,602
(imitating Stephen Hawking):
"Your invitation must have
232
00:09:37,604 --> 00:09:41,105
gotten lost in the matrix."
233
00:09:43,742 --> 00:09:46,644
Good Lord,
what have I done?
234
00:09:46,646 --> 00:09:49,113
(American accent):
Good Lord, what have I done?
235
00:09:51,984 --> 00:09:54,285
Terrible.
236
00:09:54,287 --> 00:09:57,688
All right, hotshot,
let's hear your Indian.
237
00:09:57,690 --> 00:09:59,523
(Indian accent):
I can't sit on that elephant,
238
00:09:59,525 --> 00:10:03,694
ass is on fire
from eating all this curry.
239
00:10:07,132 --> 00:10:08,966
Okay, yeah, that's pretty good.
240
00:10:30,555 --> 00:10:32,523
Please be good.
241
00:10:32,525 --> 00:10:34,692
Please be good.
242
00:10:38,647 --> 00:10:40,531
Uh-huh.
243
00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:45,603
Uh-huh.
244
00:10:45,605 --> 00:10:47,605
Okay.
245
00:10:47,607 --> 00:10:50,808
She writes like she cooks.
246
00:10:59,002 --> 00:11:01,253
Play.
247
00:11:01,255 --> 00:11:03,705
Play. Play.
248
00:11:03,707 --> 00:11:05,340
Play.
249
00:11:05,342 --> 00:11:07,209
Play.
250
00:11:07,211 --> 00:11:08,626
What are you doing?
251
00:11:09,479 --> 00:11:11,430
Trying to use a Jedi mind trick
252
00:11:11,432 --> 00:11:13,682
to control Stephen Hawking.
253
00:11:14,517 --> 00:11:15,550
Play.
254
00:11:15,552 --> 00:11:17,569
Play.
255
00:11:17,571 --> 00:11:18,820
Oh...
256
00:11:18,822 --> 00:11:22,541
He must be wearing
a tinfoil hat or something.
257
00:11:22,543 --> 00:11:24,860
I did a bad thing.
258
00:11:24,862 --> 00:11:26,378
Does it affect me?
259
00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:27,329
No.
260
00:11:27,331 --> 00:11:29,647
Then suffer in silence.
261
00:11:29,649 --> 00:11:31,283
Play.
262
00:11:31,285 --> 00:11:34,786
Play. Play.
263
00:11:34,788 --> 00:11:36,654
(knocking)
Stephen Hawking...
264
00:11:36,656 --> 00:11:40,075
Stephen Hawking...
Stephen Hawking.
265
00:11:40,927 --> 00:11:43,211
Penny started taking a class.
266
00:11:43,213 --> 00:11:44,996
She wrote a paper,
she didn't want me to read it,
267
00:11:44,998 --> 00:11:46,664
I went behind her back
and I read it anyway.
268
00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:48,850
Stephen Hawking hates me.
269
00:11:49,686 --> 00:11:51,219
I don't know what to do.
270
00:11:51,221 --> 00:11:52,504
I mean, the paper's terrible.
271
00:11:52,506 --> 00:11:54,723
But if I tell her,
she'll know that I read it
272
00:11:54,725 --> 00:11:56,074
and she'll get really mad.
273
00:11:56,076 --> 00:11:57,342
I was beating him so bad,
274
00:11:57,344 --> 00:11:59,344
he doesn't want
to be friends anymore.
275
00:11:59,346 --> 00:12:02,781
Why does everyone love me
except Stephen Hawking?
276
00:12:02,783 --> 00:12:06,018
Is it possible we're having
two different conversations?
277
00:12:06,020 --> 00:12:07,319
How would I know?
278
00:12:07,321 --> 00:12:09,321
I'm not listening to you.
279
00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:11,456
Hang on.
280
00:12:13,242 --> 00:12:14,242
Okay.
281
00:12:14,244 --> 00:12:15,410
Here's what we're gonna do.
282
00:12:15,412 --> 00:12:16,645
Chess clock.
283
00:12:16,647 --> 00:12:19,131
We each get five minutes
to talk about our problems.
284
00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:20,165
We'll take turns.
285
00:12:20,167 --> 00:12:21,583
Each turn will consist of
286
00:12:21,585 --> 00:12:24,469
a statement and a helpful
response from the friend.
287
00:12:24,471 --> 00:12:25,954
Begin.
288
00:12:25,956 --> 00:12:28,807
I humiliated Stephen Hawking
289
00:12:28,809 --> 00:12:30,208
in a game of Words with Friends.
290
00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:31,309
He stopped playing.
291
00:12:31,311 --> 00:12:32,794
And now we're not
friends anymore.
292
00:12:32,796 --> 00:12:34,763
He's probably busy.
293
00:12:34,765 --> 00:12:36,214
You're worried about nothing.
294
00:12:36,216 --> 00:12:37,799
Give it
a couple more days.
295
00:12:37,801 --> 00:12:39,401
I'm sure he'll play, and you'll
see that everything's fine.
296
00:12:39,403 --> 00:12:41,887
My turn.
297
00:12:41,889 --> 00:12:43,772
I can't let Penny
hand in a bad paper,
298
00:12:43,774 --> 00:12:45,407
but how do I tell her it's bad
299
00:12:45,409 --> 00:12:47,092
without letting her know
that I read it?
300
00:12:47,094 --> 00:12:48,443
Hmm.
301
00:12:48,445 --> 00:12:49,894
Beats me. Now...
302
00:12:51,697 --> 00:12:53,415
I know Hawking's not busy
303
00:12:53,417 --> 00:12:56,034
because I can see he's playing
other people right now.
304
00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:58,420
Maybe since you're so good,
305
00:12:58,422 --> 00:13:00,872
he's taking his time
to meet the challenge.
306
00:13:00,874 --> 00:13:02,207
I want Penny to enjoy school...
307
00:13:02,209 --> 00:13:04,376
Wolowitz told me
he's a big baby!
308
00:13:04,378 --> 00:13:05,861
But I didn't know that,
309
00:13:05,863 --> 00:13:08,079
and I played "extract"
for 82 points.
310
00:13:08,081 --> 00:13:10,465
It's all Amy's fault.
She told me to play it.
311
00:13:10,467 --> 00:13:12,901
I have got to cut her loose.
312
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:16,388
Sheldon, I wasn't done talking.
313
00:13:16,390 --> 00:13:18,140
She hands in the paper tomorrow.
314
00:13:18,142 --> 00:13:19,808
I know I could help her.
315
00:13:19,810 --> 00:13:21,526
And she's my girlfriend...
316
00:13:21,528 --> 00:13:22,978
I-I should be
allowed to help her.
317
00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:24,496
Why aren't I allowed
to help her?
318
00:13:24,498 --> 00:13:26,598
Yeah, I hear you, brother.
319
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,784
No.
320
00:13:28,786 --> 00:13:30,102
You need to give me some advice.
321
00:13:30,104 --> 00:13:32,003
Fine. Women, huh?
322
00:13:32,005 --> 00:13:33,688
No...
323
00:13:34,757 --> 00:13:37,692
Specific to my situation.
324
00:13:37,694 --> 00:13:39,094
Blonde women, huh?
325
00:13:41,531 --> 00:13:43,048
Empathetic!
326
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:45,283
It sucks to be you.
I quit.
327
00:13:45,285 --> 00:13:47,536
Leonard, wait. No.
328
00:13:47,538 --> 00:13:50,806
I listened to your dumb thing.
329
00:13:50,808 --> 00:13:52,207
Leonard, come back.
330
00:13:52,209 --> 00:13:53,458
Leonard,
come back.
331
00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:54,493
Leonard, come back.
332
00:13:54,495 --> 00:13:55,977
What?
Oh, of course,
333
00:13:55,979 --> 00:13:58,396
it only works
on the weak-minded.
334
00:14:07,306 --> 00:14:10,075
(singsongy): Good morning,
sunshine.
335
00:14:10,927 --> 00:14:12,477
Leonard.
336
00:14:12,479 --> 00:14:14,145
It's 8:00 a.m.
337
00:14:14,147 --> 00:14:16,648
It's like the middle
of the night.
338
00:14:17,416 --> 00:14:19,501
I know, but I have
to go to work,
339
00:14:19,503 --> 00:14:21,453
and I made you
breakfast.
340
00:14:21,455 --> 00:14:23,371
Oh, wow,
that's so sweet.
341
00:14:23,373 --> 00:14:24,956
Hey, what's this?
Uh,
342
00:14:24,958 --> 00:14:27,008
before you open that, um,
are you familiar
343
00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:29,678
with the story of
"The Shoemaker and the Elves"?
344
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:30,995
Elves? Come on, Leonard.
345
00:14:30,997 --> 00:14:33,765
- It's too early for Lord of the Rings.
- No, no.
346
00:14:37,053 --> 00:14:38,270
Listen, um...
347
00:14:38,272 --> 00:14:40,171
Once upon a time,
there was this shoemaker
348
00:14:40,173 --> 00:14:42,023
and when he went
to bed at night,
349
00:14:42,025 --> 00:14:43,358
elves would sneak in
350
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,677
and they would make
all these amazing
351
00:14:45,679 --> 00:14:46,811
shoes for him.
352
00:14:46,813 --> 00:14:48,530
And when the shoemaker
woke up in the morning,
353
00:14:48,532 --> 00:14:50,699
he-he would be super happy,
354
00:14:50,701 --> 00:14:53,785
not mad at the elves at all.
355
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:56,388
Open it.
356
00:14:56,390 --> 00:14:58,540
Okay.
(clears throat)
357
00:14:58,542 --> 00:15:01,243
"An examination
of the economic, cultural,
358
00:15:01,245 --> 00:15:03,411
and political roots of slavery
359
00:15:03,413 --> 00:15:06,998
in the Old South:
1619 to 1865."
360
00:15:07,817 --> 00:15:10,302
What the hell is this?
361
00:15:10,304 --> 00:15:13,471
Don't ask me.
A little elf did it.
362
00:15:15,308 --> 00:15:17,092
So let me get this straight.
363
00:15:17,094 --> 00:15:19,594
You just assumed my paper
would be bad
364
00:15:19,596 --> 00:15:21,296
so you wrote one for me?
365
00:15:21,298 --> 00:15:22,914
No, I assumed it would be good.
Then I read it.
366
00:15:22,916 --> 00:15:24,633
What?!
No, I...
367
00:15:24,635 --> 00:15:26,651
I mean, it was good.
368
00:15:26,653 --> 00:15:29,354
There were just a few things
that needed a little polishing.
369
00:15:29,356 --> 00:15:32,157
W... You changed every word.
That's not true.
370
00:15:32,159 --> 00:15:33,224
Uh...
371
00:15:33,226 --> 00:15:34,492
"Slavery."
372
00:15:36,746 --> 00:15:38,863
"1619,"
373
00:15:38,865 --> 00:15:41,666
your name at the top--
that's all you.
374
00:15:42,501 --> 00:15:44,319
You are such an ass.
375
00:15:44,321 --> 00:15:45,737
This is exactly why
I didn't want to tell you
376
00:15:45,739 --> 00:15:47,572
I was taking a class
in the first place.
377
00:15:47,574 --> 00:15:49,257
Please don't be upset.
I-I just...
378
00:15:49,259 --> 00:15:51,543
I didn't want you ending up
with a bad grade
379
00:15:51,545 --> 00:15:53,578
and get discouraged
and give up on the idea
380
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:54,679
of going back to school.
381
00:15:54,681 --> 00:15:56,881
Right, because me
being in school
382
00:15:56,883 --> 00:15:58,300
is so important to you.
383
00:15:58,302 --> 00:16:00,568
That way, you wouldn't have
to be dating someone
384
00:16:00,570 --> 00:16:01,886
who's only a waitress.
385
00:16:01,888 --> 00:16:03,588
Oh, come on, you know
that's not true.
386
00:16:03,590 --> 00:16:05,089
Do I? Listen to me.
387
00:16:05,091 --> 00:16:06,725
I need to do this on my own.
388
00:16:06,727 --> 00:16:08,926
If I fail, I fail.
If I pass, I pass.
389
00:16:08,928 --> 00:16:09,927
Do you get it?
390
00:16:09,929 --> 00:16:11,396
I'm sorry.
I was just trying
391
00:16:11,398 --> 00:16:13,615
to help.
Yeah, well, next time don't.
392
00:16:14,533 --> 00:16:16,584
Oh, and since
you like stories so much,
393
00:16:16,586 --> 00:16:18,303
this is not "The Shoemaker
and the Elves," okay?
394
00:16:18,305 --> 00:16:20,872
This is, "Give a man a fish,
he eats it.
395
00:16:20,874 --> 00:16:22,290
"Teach a man to fish, he...
396
00:16:22,292 --> 00:16:24,108
sells it or something."
Whatever, I don't know!
397
00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:26,261
It's just a lot better
than what you did, you big jerk!
398
00:16:27,697 --> 00:16:29,831
(door slams)
399
00:16:32,285 --> 00:16:34,869
You ever hear back
from Hawking?
400
00:16:34,871 --> 00:16:36,554
No.
401
00:16:36,556 --> 00:16:38,807
It would appear
as if I've lost him.
402
00:16:38,809 --> 00:16:40,792
Stupid brain.
403
00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:43,762
It'll be okay.
404
00:16:43,764 --> 00:16:45,814
How can it be okay?
405
00:16:45,816 --> 00:16:47,365
Stephen Hawking's a genius
406
00:16:47,367 --> 00:16:49,317
and he talks like a robot.
407
00:16:49,319 --> 00:16:52,470
It's everything I've ever wanted
in a friend.
408
00:16:53,272 --> 00:16:54,773
Yeah, but if he's
a sore loser,
409
00:16:54,775 --> 00:16:56,274
maybe you're better
off without him.
410
00:16:57,109 --> 00:16:58,660
You're right.
411
00:16:58,662 --> 00:17:01,813
I guess I just have to make
lemonade out of the two of you.
412
00:17:04,817 --> 00:17:05,784
(chime)
413
00:17:05,786 --> 00:17:07,752
(gasps) He played!
He played!
414
00:17:07,754 --> 00:17:11,456
Coop and Rolling Thunder
are together again.
415
00:17:12,274 --> 00:17:15,159
He was okay with that nickname.
416
00:17:15,161 --> 00:17:17,360
So, now all you have to do
is let him win.
417
00:17:17,385 --> 00:17:19,346
Yeah,
way ahead of you.
418
00:17:19,349 --> 00:17:21,716
I will play the word "at"
419
00:17:21,718 --> 00:17:24,619
for two measly points,
throwing the game
420
00:17:24,621 --> 00:17:26,137
and thus securing my friendship
421
00:17:26,139 --> 00:17:28,390
with the smartest man
in the world.
422
00:17:35,798 --> 00:17:37,849
What are you waiting for?
Hit "send."
423
00:17:37,851 --> 00:17:39,016
I can't.
424
00:17:39,018 --> 00:17:41,569
Losing on purpose
is intellectually dishonest.
425
00:17:41,571 --> 00:17:42,871
So don't do it.
426
00:17:42,873 --> 00:17:44,689
Oh, but I want
to be Hawking's friend.
427
00:17:44,691 --> 00:17:45,940
So do it.
428
00:17:45,942 --> 00:17:47,876
No, but if I do,
I'll be a phony,
429
00:17:47,878 --> 00:17:49,026
a sellout,
430
00:17:49,028 --> 00:17:51,329
a Hollywood poser.
431
00:17:52,164 --> 00:17:53,982
Then don't do it.
432
00:17:53,984 --> 00:17:55,617
I won't.
433
00:17:55,619 --> 00:17:57,052
This feels right.
434
00:17:57,054 --> 00:18:00,255
My mother always said,
"To thine own self be true."
435
00:18:00,257 --> 00:18:01,589
Good for you.
436
00:18:01,591 --> 00:18:03,258
'Course she also told me
that every animal in the world
437
00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:05,977
got on one boat, so what does
she know? And send.
438
00:18:12,318 --> 00:18:13,401
Oh, hey.
439
00:18:13,403 --> 00:18:14,819
Haven't heard from you
in a couple days.
440
00:18:14,821 --> 00:18:15,804
You still mad at me?
441
00:18:15,806 --> 00:18:17,054
Nope.
442
00:18:17,056 --> 00:18:19,074
I have no reason to...
443
00:18:19,076 --> 00:18:20,992
"B" mad at you.
444
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,145
Minus.
445
00:18:24,147 --> 00:18:25,530
(chuckles)
446
00:18:25,532 --> 00:18:26,448
Wow.
447
00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:28,232
That's right.
On my paper.
448
00:18:28,234 --> 00:18:31,219
Not yours, mine,
you punk-ass elf.
449
00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,923
I don't know what to say.
450
00:18:34,925 --> 00:18:36,291
Hmm, how about,
451
00:18:36,293 --> 00:18:38,910
(mockingly): "Gee, Penny, you're smarter
than I thought.
452
00:18:38,912 --> 00:18:40,762
"You may be the one in school,
453
00:18:40,764 --> 00:18:42,881
"but I'm the one
who learned a lesson.
454
00:18:42,883 --> 00:18:46,918
I'm so stupid, Penny.
Duh..."
455
00:18:51,807 --> 00:18:54,926
She sounds exactly like you!
456
00:18:56,762 --> 00:18:58,780
How'd it go
with Leonard?
457
00:18:58,782 --> 00:19:02,033
(sighs) I don't think he'll be making
that mistake again.
458
00:19:02,035 --> 00:19:03,034
Good.
459
00:19:03,036 --> 00:19:04,035
So,
460
00:19:04,037 --> 00:19:05,102
I know this goes
without saying,
461
00:19:05,104 --> 00:19:06,371
but if either of you
tell Leonard
462
00:19:06,373 --> 00:19:07,605
you helped me rewrite
this paper,
463
00:19:07,607 --> 00:19:10,325
I will beat you both
with a bag of oranges.
464
00:19:11,143 --> 00:19:12,444
Got it.
Understood.
465
00:19:12,446 --> 00:19:15,130
Now, ladies, we got a
B-minus on this paper.
466
00:19:15,132 --> 00:19:16,831
I think if we put
our heads together,
467
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:19,200
on the next one
we could get an "A."
468
00:19:19,202 --> 00:19:22,187
Uh, but we got you a B-minus on
purpose to make it believable.
469
00:19:22,189 --> 00:19:23,588
Believable?
470
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:25,840
You saying I'm not smart?
471
00:19:25,842 --> 00:19:28,359
No, no!
You're smart.
472
00:19:29,178 --> 00:19:30,929
That's better.
473
00:19:32,314 --> 00:19:34,799
(quietly): I feel like I'm in
high school again.
474
00:19:34,801 --> 00:19:39,154
Yeah, doing the prom queen's
homework so she'll like us.
475
00:19:39,156 --> 00:19:41,138
I know.
476
00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:43,324
It's finally working.
477
00:19:51,641 --> 00:19:53,859
(phone rings)
478
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:58,530
It's Stephen Hawking.
479
00:19:58,532 --> 00:20:00,399
(stutters)
Answer it.
480
00:20:00,401 --> 00:20:02,584
I want to hear.
481
00:20:03,586 --> 00:20:04,987
Professor Hawking,
482
00:20:04,989 --> 00:20:06,472
how nice of you to call.
483
00:20:06,474 --> 00:20:07,706
Hello.
484
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:10,626
I really enjoyed our game,
Dr. Cooper.
485
00:20:10,628 --> 00:20:11,627
Oh,
486
00:20:11,629 --> 00:20:13,512
me, too.
487
00:20:13,514 --> 00:20:17,182
Or should I say Dr. Loser?
488
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,086
Ha, ha, ha.
489
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:24,540
Yes,
490
00:20:24,542 --> 00:20:25,808
congratulations.
491
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:27,726
You won fair and square.
492
00:20:27,728 --> 00:20:29,645
Uh, very impressive, sir.
493
00:20:29,647 --> 00:20:31,647
Do you like brain teasers?
494
00:20:31,649 --> 00:20:34,099
Oh, I love brain teasers.
495
00:20:34,611 --> 00:20:36,995
What does Sheldon Cooper
496
00:20:36,997 --> 00:20:40,665
and a black hole have in common?
497
00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:42,834
They both suck.
498
00:20:49,570 --> 00:20:51,422
Neener neener.
499
00:20:51,470 --> 00:20:56,470
== sync, corrected by elderman ==