1 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:08,265 It's great to be in the Empire today 2 00:00:08,441 --> 00:00:13,037 It's great to be in the Empire today 3 00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:14,840 We got everything 4 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:18,007 Try to keep up, Howard. I'm killing it. 5 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:23,551 Yeah, I wish we looked as cool dancing in clubs as we do right now. 6 00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:27,952 Don't worry, this is exactly how you look when you're dancing in clubs. 7 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,362 You're welcome, ladies. 8 00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:34,089 Paradigm-shifting news, gentlemen. 9 00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:38,596 Dude, I was about to Bollywood this bitch. 10 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:43,703 Earlier today, I invited Professor Stephen Hawking to join me... 11 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,606 ...in the popular online game "Words With Friends." 12 00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:52,045 Moments ago, he accepted my request. Do you understand what that means? 13 00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,311 That somewhere, right now, Stephen Hawking is saying: 14 00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:58,719 "Damn it. I meant to click 'no'." 15 00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:02,487 I'll walk you through it. 16 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,165 The game is not called "Words With Strangers." 17 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:09,391 No. It is not even called "Words With Acquaintances." 18 00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:12,901 It is called "Words With..." 19 00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:18,604 I'm not finishing your sentence. You pulled the plug on my funk. 20 00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:24,011 "Friends." It's "Words With Friends." Which Stephen Hawking and I officially are. 21 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,377 Now all I need is a bunk bed with a slide. 22 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:30,317 I'll have everything I've ever wanted since I was 6 years old. 23 00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:32,514 That's really nice. I'm happy for you. 24 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,021 And I'm happy for you too. 25 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:38,196 You are now friends with someone who is officially friends with Stephen Hawking. 26 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,797 Enjoy it, boys. You may have peaked. 27 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:44,668 I know Stephen Hawking. I worked with him. 28 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:47,272 Yeah, and if they ever come out with a game called... 29 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,773 ..."Words With People You Once Worked With," you'll be off to the races. 30 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,344 Sheldon, I don't think this actually means that... 31 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:58,046 Hold that thought. Professor Hawking has made a move. 32 00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,615 Boy, oh, boy. 33 00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:02,219 It's only a matter of time before we're coming up... 34 00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:04,686 ...with fun nicknames for each other. 35 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:09,454 I'll be Coop. Yeah. He'll be Wheels. 36 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,628 If he's okay with that. 37 00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:15,457 All right. 38 00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:19,997 Crank up the a.c., boys. It's gonna get hot in here. 39 00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:22,539 Young man, young man Get yourself off the ground 40 00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:51,397 So I was taking a shower this morning and when I got out... 41 00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:54,233 ...I started to dry off with what I thought was a towel... 42 00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:57,467 ...but turned out to be Howard's mom's underwear. 43 00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:04,105 I had to take another shower. 44 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,082 It wasn't enough. 45 00:03:09,622 --> 00:03:12,250 Nothing will ever be enough. 46 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,593 I once looked in Sheldon's underwear drawer. He yelled at me. 47 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:21,524 But now I know what it looks like, and he can never take that away. 48 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,635 - There's a book under here. - Oh. I'll get that. 49 00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:26,067 - I got it. I got it. - No, no, it's okay. 50 00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:29,902 - Why do you have a history textbook? - No, it's... It's not a big deal. 51 00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:32,567 Just taking a class at the Pasadena Community College. 52 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:35,543 That's great. I didn't know you wanted to go back to school. 53 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,046 It's just one history class. 54 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:40,448 Look, I didn't finish college, so I thought I would give it a try. 55 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,919 Not to mention your acting career is going south like Sherman. 56 00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,519 Read about it in your book. 57 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,997 Why would you be embarrassed to tell us? 58 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:55,464 I'm not. I didn't want anyone to know. I haven't told Leonard yet. 59 00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:58,899 - Why wouldn't you tell Leonard? - Because it's me going back to school. 60 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,905 And he's gonna be all, "You can do it," and, "How can I help?" 61 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,543 And, "I'm so proud of you." Ugh. 62 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:09,080 I can't believe you could keep something like that from him. 63 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,047 You guys have got to be the weirdest couple I know. 64 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,923 Really? 65 00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:24,256 You can't think of anyone weirder? 66 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:27,223 I can... 67 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,834 ...but she's sitting right there. 68 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,871 Yes. I play the word "quiver"... 69 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:42,104 ...with a triple letter and a double word score for 72 points. 70 00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:45,947 That'll let the air out of your tires, Hawking. 71 00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:50,220 Wow, my boyfriend is friends with Stephen Hawking... 72 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:53,789 ...and my new dandruff shampoo doesn't smell like tar. 73 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:57,596 Everything really is coming up Amy. 74 00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:00,132 It is glorious. 75 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,392 One of the greatest intellects of our time... 76 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:06,002 ...has agreed to engage with me in a gentlemanly battle of wits. 77 00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:11,165 And I'm spanking him so hard, his grad students won't be able to sit down. 78 00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:16,107 You know, when one male dominates another, his testosterone level rises. 79 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,076 - What's your point? - It's exciting to think... 80 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,379 ...you might be getting a testosterone level. 81 00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:31,520 Ooh! My friend Stephen just played the word "act" for 18 points. 82 00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:34,427 That's right, I call him Stephen now. 83 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:38,194 Because I checked, and he was not okay with Wheels. 84 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,404 Oh. You could turn his "act" into "extract"... 85 00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:43,542 ...and it would be for double points. 86 00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:46,211 Amy, why would you give me a word? 87 00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:49,347 Now if I play "extract," it would be cheating. 88 00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:52,017 - Sorry. - Although, I could play... 89 00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:56,348 ...the completely unrelated and better word "extract." 90 00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:01,183 Ethical conundrum avoided. 91 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,853 Thanks, brain. 92 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,166 Spaghetti okay? 93 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,165 It's crunchy. 94 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,304 Just the way I like it. 95 00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:16,708 Yeah, I don't think the water was really boiling. 96 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,872 - It's great, I love it. - Ha, ha. 97 00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:22,673 Okay, listen, there's something I need to tell you. 98 00:06:23,282 --> 00:06:26,376 I've been thinking about going back to school for a while now. 99 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:29,885 So a couple months ago, I started taking a history class at the community college. 100 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:33,048 Oh. That's great. Great, great, great. 101 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,057 - Why wait so long to tell me? - I just... 102 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,025 I don't want you to make a big deal out of it. 103 00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:39,721 Why do you think that? I get it, you're taking one class. 104 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:42,766 It's nice. Maybe if it goes well, you take another, you enroll full time. 105 00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:46,393 Ooh. Be sure to keep an eye on which credits transfer to a four-year college. 106 00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,938 You're making a big deal. 107 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:52,270 Sorry. You know, whatever. Psh. It's all good. 108 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,973 Anyway, that's it. I just thought you should know. 109 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,117 Am I allowed to ask how the class is going? 110 00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:01,013 It's good. We've been talking about the origins of slavery. 111 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:03,984 - I turn in my first paper tomorrow. - I can help with that. 112 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:07,684 There's lots of perspectives to take. Economic, sociological, political... 113 00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,418 Hey, this is my paper. 114 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:12,530 And my perspective is that slavery is bad. 115 00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:19,096 And my professor's black, so I'm pretty sure that's the right answer. 116 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:23,631 - Can I take a look? - No, Leonard. This is my thing. 117 00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:26,812 - Okay. I get it. - Thank you. 118 00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:28,844 It's like when I started doing chin-ups. 119 00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,142 I didn't want you to see until I could do one. 120 00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:35,115 FYI, really close. 121 00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:38,855 Thank you. Now, behave yourself and eat your dinner. 122 00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,960 And if you're lucky, you get to sleep with a college girl. 123 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,120 Really? I went to four years of college and five years of grad school. 124 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,492 That never happened once. 125 00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:53,369 I think the next time I have to speak to a call center in India... 126 00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:56,007 ...I'm going to try using an American accent. 127 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,635 Why? 128 00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:04,647 Because when I use my regular voice, I feel like I'm making fun of them. 129 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,684 That's ridiculous. Not to mention, your American accent is terrible. 130 00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:13,017 Dude, my accent is brilliant. 131 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:16,559 Hey, my snow-white American friends, let's put some cow meat... 132 00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:19,994 ...on the barbecue and eat it until we're all obese. 133 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,093 This is what you sound like: 134 00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:25,794 "I think I'm talking in an American accent... 135 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:30,033 ...but it really sounds like I'm wearing a set of giant dentures." 136 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:33,037 Sheldon, do I really sound like that? 137 00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:35,177 Tell him he sounds like that. 138 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,847 Sheldon, you okay? 139 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,016 It's been three days. 140 00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:45,019 Why hasn't Stephen Hawking played a word? 141 00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:49,951 The guy's a genius. Maybe you weren't challenging enough for him. 142 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,721 Not challenging? I was humiliating the man. 143 00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:54,900 I was thinking of writing a book called... 144 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:58,935 ...A Brief History of the Time I Made Stephen Hawking Cry Like a Little Girl. 145 00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:03,375 There's the problem. You can't beat Hawking like that. 146 00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:06,841 He hates to lose. Everyone knows the guy's a big baby. 147 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,879 I mean, forget the wheelchair, he should be in a stroller. 148 00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:14,583 Really? 149 00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:16,585 One time when I was working with him... 150 00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:19,247 ...he said that Johnny Depp was in The Matrix. 151 00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:22,222 I told him he was wrong, but he kept insisting. 152 00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:24,726 So I looked it up online and showed him. 153 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:31,364 Well, the next day, he had a pizza party, and everyone got invited but me. 154 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:33,996 And then he was all: 155 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:38,371 "Your invitation must've gotten lost in the matrix." 156 00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:44,741 Good Lord. What have I done? 157 00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,942 Good Lord, what have I done? 158 00:09:51,023 --> 00:09:52,388 Terrible. 159 00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:55,759 All right, hotshot, let's hear your Indian. 160 00:09:55,962 --> 00:10:01,594 I can't sit on that elephant. My ass is on fire from eating all this curry. 161 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:06,798 Okay, yeah, that's pretty good. 162 00:10:28,494 --> 00:10:33,295 Please be good, please be good. 163 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,133 Uh-huh. 164 00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:41,872 Uh-huh... 165 00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:45,340 Okay. 166 00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:48,044 She writes like she cooks. 167 00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:57,681 Play. Play. 168 00:10:57,890 --> 00:11:00,256 Play. Play. 169 00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,392 - Play. - What are you doing? 170 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:08,459 Trying to use a Jedi mind trick to control Stephen Hawking. 171 00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:12,730 Play. Play. 172 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,468 He must be wearing a tinfoil hat or something. 173 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,773 I did a bad thing. 174 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,242 - Does it affect me? - No. 175 00:11:22,481 --> 00:11:24,574 Then suffer in silence. 176 00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:27,484 Play. Play. 177 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,416 Play. 178 00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:32,918 Stephen Hawking. Stephen Hawking. 179 00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:34,854 Stephen Hawking. 180 00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,423 Penny started taking a class. She wrote a paper. 181 00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:41,589 She didn't want me to read it. I went behind her back. I read it. 182 00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:44,599 Stephen Hawking hates me. 183 00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:45,930 I don't know what to do. 184 00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:49,302 The paper's terrible. But if I tell her, she'll know that I read it... 185 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,009 ...and she'll get really mad. 186 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:54,236 I was beating him so bad he doesn't wanna be friends anymore. 187 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:57,848 Why does everyone love me except Stephen Hawking? 188 00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:01,610 Is it possible we're having two different conversations? 189 00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:04,085 How would I know? I'm not listening to you. 190 00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:07,285 Hang on. 191 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:11,391 Okay. Here's what we're gonna do. Chess clock. 192 00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:13,963 We each get five minutes to talk about our problems. 193 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:17,330 We'll take turns. Each turn will consist of a statement... 194 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,970 ...and a helpful response from the friend. 195 00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:21,730 Begin. 196 00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:24,910 I humiliated Stephen Hawking in a game of "Words With Friends." 197 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:27,739 He stopped playing. And now we're not friends anymore. 198 00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:31,147 He's probably busy. You're worried about nothing. 199 00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:33,648 Give it a couple more days. I'm sure he'll play... 200 00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:35,753 ...and you'll see that everything's fine. 201 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,287 My turn. I can't let Penny hand in a bad paper... 202 00:12:38,457 --> 00:12:41,984 ...but how do I tell her it's bad without letting her know that I read it? 203 00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:43,252 Hmm. 204 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,657 Beats me. Now... 205 00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,959 I know Hawking's not busy, because I can see... 206 00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:50,966 ...he's playing other people right now. 207 00:12:51,637 --> 00:12:55,596 Maybe since you're so good, he's taking his time to meet the challenge. 208 00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:59,300 - I want Penny to enjoy... - Wolowitz told me he's a big baby. 209 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,572 Yeah, I didn't know that, and I played "extract" for 82 points. 210 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,012 Oh, it's all Amy's fault. She told me to play it. 211 00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:07,744 I have got to cut her loose. 212 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:11,081 Sheldon, I wasn't done talking. 213 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:14,623 She hands in the paper tomorrow. I know I could help her. 214 00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:17,796 And she's my girlfriend. I should be allowed to help her. 215 00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:21,023 - Why aren't I allowed to help her? - I hear you, brother. 216 00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:25,035 No, you need to give me some advice. 217 00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:26,898 Uh, fine. Women, huh? 218 00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:32,643 Specific to my situation. 219 00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:33,869 Blond women, huh? 220 00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:38,980 - Empathetic. - Sucks to be you. 221 00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:40,209 I quit! 222 00:13:40,719 --> 00:13:45,622 Leonard, wait, no. I listened to your dumb thing. 223 00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:48,118 Leonard, come back. Leonard, come back. 224 00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,419 Leonard, come back. 225 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,993 - What? - Oh, of course. 226 00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:53,165 It only works on the weak-minded. 227 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,840 Good morning, sunshine. 228 00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:09,208 Leonard, it's 8 a.m. 229 00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,406 It's like the middle of the night. 230 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:16,143 I know, but I have to go to work, and I made you breakfast. 231 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,585 Oh, wow, that's so sweet. 232 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,691 - Hey, what's this? - Before you open that... 233 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,591 Um, are you familiar with the story of the shoemaker and the elves? 234 00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,925 Elves? Come on, Leonard, it's too early for Lord of the Rings. 235 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,759 No, no. 236 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,931 Listen, once upon a time, there was this shoemaker. 237 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:38,109 And when he went to bed at night, elves would sneak in... 238 00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:41,370 ...and they would make all these amazing shoes for him. 239 00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,741 And when the shoemaker woke up in the morning... 240 00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:45,816 ...he would be super happy. 241 00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:48,542 Not mad at the elves at all. 242 00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:51,312 Open it. 243 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,718 Okay. Ahem. 244 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:57,727 "An examination of the economic, cultural and political roots of slavery... 245 00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:01,764 ...in the Old South, 1619 to 1865." 246 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,298 What the hell is this? 247 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:08,736 Don't ask me, a little elf did it. Ha, ha. 248 00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:12,308 So let me get this straight. 249 00:15:12,511 --> 00:15:16,242 You just assumed my paper would be bad, so you wrote one for me? 250 00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:19,645 - I assumed it would be good. Then I read it. - What? 251 00:15:20,819 --> 00:15:24,812 Well, I mean, it was good. There were just a few things that needed a little polishing. 252 00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:28,517 - Well, you changed every word. - That's not true. Uh... 253 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,285 "Slavery." 254 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:36,425 Uh, "1619." Your name at the top. That's all you. 255 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,264 You are such an ass. 256 00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:42,531 This is why I didn't wanna tell you I was taking a class. 257 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,333 Please, don't be upset. I just... 258 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:47,604 I didn't want you ending up with a bad grade and get discouraged... 259 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,112 ...and give up on the idea of going back to school. 260 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:53,342 Right, because me being in school is so important to you. 261 00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:56,851 That way, you wouldn't have to be dating someone who's only a waitress. 262 00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,024 Come on, you know that's not true. 263 00:15:59,191 --> 00:16:01,523 Do I? Listen to me. I need to do this on my own. 264 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,888 If I fail, I fail. If I pass, I pass. Do you get it? 265 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:08,691 - I'm sorry, I was just trying to help. - Yeah, well, next time, don't. 266 00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:11,569 Oh. And since you like stories so much... 267 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,034 ...this is not the shoemaker and the elves, okay? 268 00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:16,037 This is give a man a fish, he eats it. 269 00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:18,335 Teach a man to fish, he sells it or something. 270 00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:22,571 Whatever, I don't know. It's just a lot better than what you did, you big jerk! 271 00:16:27,853 --> 00:16:31,311 - You ever hear back from Hawking? - No. 272 00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,514 It would appear as if I've lost him. 273 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,853 Stupid brain. 274 00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:40,594 - It'll be okay. - How can it be okay? 275 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:44,064 Stephen Hawking's a genius and he talks like a robot. 276 00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:47,295 That's everything I've ever wanted in a friend. 277 00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:52,004 Yeah, but if he's a sore loser, maybe you're better off without him. 278 00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:53,675 You're right. 279 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:56,575 I guess I just have to make lemonade out of the two of you. 280 00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:02,784 Ah! He played. He played. 281 00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:06,214 Coop and Rolling Thunder are together again. 282 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,218 He was okay with that nickname. 283 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:14,026 - So now all you have to do is let him win. - Yeah, way ahead of you. 284 00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:18,363 I will play the word "at" for two measly points... 285 00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:21,095 ...throwing the game and thus securing my friendship... 286 00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,741 ...with the smartest man in the world. 287 00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:32,744 What are you waiting for? Hit send. 288 00:17:32,951 --> 00:17:36,546 I can't. Losing on purpose is intellectually dishonest. 289 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,589 - So don't do it. - Oh, but I wanna be Hawking's friend. 290 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:42,727 - So do it. - But if I do, I'll be a phony. 291 00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:46,091 A sellout. A Hollywood poser. 292 00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:48,896 Then don't do it. 293 00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:52,129 I won't. This feels right. 294 00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:55,169 My mother always said, "To thine own self be true." 295 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:56,567 Good for you. 296 00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:59,300 She also told me that every animal in the world got on one boat. 297 00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:02,106 So, what does she know? And send. 298 00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,614 Oh. Hey. Haven't heard from you in a couple days. 299 00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:11,756 - You still mad at me? - Nope. 300 00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:15,825 I have no reason to "B" mad at you. 301 00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:19,089 Minus. 302 00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:22,933 - Wow. - That's right. On my paper. 303 00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:26,002 Not yours, mine, you punk-ass elf. 304 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,907 I don't know what to say. 305 00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:31,235 Hmm. How about: 306 00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:34,004 "Gee, Penny, you're smarter than I thought. 307 00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:37,808 You may be the one in school, but I'm the one who learned a lesson. 308 00:18:38,016 --> 00:18:40,644 I'm so stupid, Penny. Duh." 309 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,689 She sounds exactly like you. 310 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,629 How'd it go with Leonard? 311 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,462 I don't think he'll be making that mistake again. 312 00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:59,797 - Good. - So I know this goes without saying... 313 00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:03,338 ...but if either of you tell Leonard you helped me rewrite this paper... 314 00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:05,670 ...I'll beat you both with a bag of oranges. 315 00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:07,444 - Okay. - Understood. 316 00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,978 Now, ladies. We got a B-minus on this paper. 317 00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:14,141 I think if we put our heads together, on the next one, we could get an A. 318 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:17,083 But we got you a B-minus on purpose to make it believable. 319 00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:18,346 Believable? 320 00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:20,851 You saying I'm not smart? 321 00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:22,549 - You're smart. - No, no. 322 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:25,690 That's better. 323 00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,530 I feel like I'm in high school again. 324 00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:33,762 Yeah, doing the prom queen's homework so she'll like us. 325 00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:35,730 I know. 326 00:19:35,974 --> 00:19:38,534 It's finally working. 327 00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,219 It's Stephen Hawking. 328 00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:54,920 Answer it. I wanna hear. 329 00:19:56,428 --> 00:19:59,124 Professor Hawking, how nice of you to call. 330 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:03,563 Hello. I really enjoyed our game, Dr. Cooper. 331 00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:09,173 - Oh, me too. - Or should I say, Dr. Loser? 332 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:14,406 Ha-ha-ha. 333 00:20:16,648 --> 00:20:20,345 Yes, congratulations. You won fair and square. 334 00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:22,281 Very impressive, sir. 335 00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:26,753 - Do you like brainteasers? - Oh, I love brainteasers. 336 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:32,695 What does Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common? 337 00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:35,058 They both suck. 338 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,905 Neener-neener.