1
00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:04,778
(disco music playing)
2
00:00:14,038 --> 00:00:15,589
Try to keep
up, Howard!
3
00:00:15,591 --> 00:00:18,008
I'm killing it!
4
00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:20,577
Yeah, I wish we looked
as cool dancing in clubs
5
00:00:20,579 --> 00:00:22,746
as we do right now.
6
00:00:22,748 --> 00:00:25,582
Don't worry, this is
exactly how you look
7
00:00:25,584 --> 00:00:27,250
when you're dancing in clubs.
8
00:00:27,252 --> 00:00:30,571
You're welcome, ladies.
9
00:00:30,573 --> 00:00:33,807
Paradigm-shifting
news, gentlemen!
10
00:00:33,809 --> 00:00:35,309
(music stops)
Dude!
11
00:00:35,311 --> 00:00:37,895
I was about to Bollywood
this bitch.
12
00:00:37,897 --> 00:00:40,931
Earlier today, I invited
13
00:00:40,933 --> 00:00:43,266
Professor Stephen Hawking
to join me
14
00:00:43,268 --> 00:00:45,819
in the popular online game
Words with Friends.
15
00:00:45,821 --> 00:00:49,540
Moments ago,
he accepted my request.
16
00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:51,274
Do you understand
what that means?
17
00:00:51,276 --> 00:00:53,293
That somewhere right now
Stephen Hawking is saying,
18
00:00:53,295 --> 00:00:55,879
(imitating Stephen Hawking):
"Damn it.
19
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:58,114
I meant to click no."
20
00:00:59,918 --> 00:01:01,668
I'll walk you through it.
21
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:05,389
The game is not called
Words with Strangers.
22
00:01:05,391 --> 00:01:07,007
No, it's not
even called
23
00:01:07,009 --> 00:01:08,509
Words with Acquaintances.
24
00:01:08,511 --> 00:01:09,877
It is called
25
00:01:09,879 --> 00:01:12,179
Words with...
26
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,465
I'm not finishing your sentence.
27
00:01:15,467 --> 00:01:17,133
You pulled the plug on my funk.
28
00:01:17,135 --> 00:01:19,052
Friends!
29
00:01:19,054 --> 00:01:20,804
It's Words with Friends!
30
00:01:20,806 --> 00:01:22,272
Which Stephen
Hawking and I
31
00:01:22,274 --> 00:01:23,473
officially are.
32
00:01:23,475 --> 00:01:25,943
Now all I need is
a bunk bed with a slide;
33
00:01:25,945 --> 00:01:27,361
I'll have everything
I've ever wanted
34
00:01:27,363 --> 00:01:29,580
since I was six years old.
35
00:01:29,582 --> 00:01:30,697
That's really nice,
Sheldon.
36
00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:31,782
I'm happy for you.
37
00:01:31,784 --> 00:01:33,650
And I'm happy for you, too.
38
00:01:33,652 --> 00:01:35,035
You are now friends with someone
39
00:01:35,037 --> 00:01:37,621
who is officially friends
with Stephen Hawking.
40
00:01:37,623 --> 00:01:38,789
Enjoy it, boys.
41
00:01:38,791 --> 00:01:40,257
You may have peaked.
42
00:01:41,326 --> 00:01:43,126
Sheldon, I know
Stephen Hawking.
43
00:01:43,128 --> 00:01:44,495
I worked with him.
44
00:01:44,497 --> 00:01:46,346
And if they ever come out
with a game called
45
00:01:46,348 --> 00:01:47,681
Words with People
You Once Worked with,
46
00:01:47,683 --> 00:01:48,982
you'll be off to the races.
47
00:01:50,802 --> 00:01:52,436
Sheldon, I don't think
this actually means...
48
00:01:52,438 --> 00:01:53,387
(tablet chimes)
49
00:01:53,389 --> 00:01:54,671
Hold that thought!
50
00:01:54,673 --> 00:01:57,274
Professor Hawking
has made a move.
51
00:01:57,276 --> 00:01:58,942
Boy, oh, boy.
52
00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:00,527
Oh, it's only a matter of time
53
00:02:00,529 --> 00:02:03,447
before we're coming up with
fun nicknames for each other.
54
00:02:04,382 --> 00:02:06,166
I'll be Coop.
55
00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:09,736
He'll be Wheels.
56
00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:12,522
If he's okay with that.
57
00:02:13,575 --> 00:02:15,309
All right.
(disco music resumes)
58
00:02:15,311 --> 00:02:17,711
Crank up the AC, boy!
59
00:02:17,713 --> 00:02:19,429
It's gonna get hot in here!
60
00:02:21,666 --> 00:02:25,302
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
61
00:02:25,304 --> 00:02:28,639
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
62
00:02:28,641 --> 00:02:30,257
♪ The Earth began to cool
63
00:02:30,259 --> 00:02:32,793
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
64
00:02:32,795 --> 00:02:35,462
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
65
00:02:35,464 --> 00:02:38,148
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
66
00:02:38,150 --> 00:02:40,050
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
67
00:02:40,052 --> 00:02:42,019
♪ Bang! ♪
68
00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:46,020
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x06 ♪
The Extract Obliteration
Original Air Date on November 1, 2012
69
00:02:46,021 --> 00:02:50,021
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
70
00:02:46,729 --> 00:02:48,697
So, I was taking
a shower this morning,
71
00:02:48,699 --> 00:02:50,849
and when I got out, I
started to dry off with
72
00:02:50,851 --> 00:02:53,502
what I thought was a towel
but turned out to be
73
00:02:53,504 --> 00:02:55,904
Howard's mom's underwear.
74
00:02:59,659 --> 00:03:02,577
I had to take another shower.
75
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,064
It wasn't enough.
76
00:03:07,884 --> 00:03:11,303
Nothing will ever be enough.
77
00:03:11,305 --> 00:03:13,605
I once looked in Sheldon's
underwear drawer.
78
00:03:13,607 --> 00:03:14,773
He yelled at me.
79
00:03:14,775 --> 00:03:17,008
But now I know
what it looks like
80
00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:19,644
and he can never take that away.
81
00:03:19,646 --> 00:03:20,762
There's a book
under here.
82
00:03:20,764 --> 00:03:21,763
Oh, I'll get that.
83
00:03:21,765 --> 00:03:23,365
I got it. I got it.
No, no, it's...
84
00:03:23,367 --> 00:03:25,984
Why do you have
a history textbook?
85
00:03:25,986 --> 00:03:27,652
It's not a big deal.
86
00:03:27,654 --> 00:03:28,637
Just taking a class
87
00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:30,822
at the Pasadena
Community College.
88
00:03:30,824 --> 00:03:32,073
That's great.
89
00:03:32,075 --> 00:03:33,742
I didn't know you wanted
to go back to school.
90
00:03:33,744 --> 00:03:35,160
It's just one history class.
91
00:03:35,162 --> 00:03:36,461
Look, I didn't finish college,
92
00:03:36,463 --> 00:03:38,129
so I thought
I would give it a try.
93
00:03:38,131 --> 00:03:40,114
Not to mention,
your acting career
94
00:03:40,116 --> 00:03:42,367
is going south like Sherman.
95
00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:46,922
Read about it in your book.
96
00:03:48,024 --> 00:03:50,292
Why would you be embarrassed
to tell us?
97
00:03:50,294 --> 00:03:51,259
No, I'm not embarrassed.
98
00:03:51,261 --> 00:03:52,511
I just didn't want
anyone to know
99
00:03:52,513 --> 00:03:53,728
because I haven't
told Leonard yet.
100
00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:55,180
Why wouldn't you tell Leonard?
101
00:03:55,182 --> 00:03:56,898
Because it's me
going back to school,
102
00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:59,684
and he's gonna be all "you can
do it," and "how can I help?"
103
00:03:59,686 --> 00:04:00,969
and "I'm so proud of you."
104
00:04:00,971 --> 00:04:02,921
Ugh!
105
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,774
I just can't believe you could
106
00:04:05,776 --> 00:04:07,242
keep something like that
from him.
107
00:04:07,244 --> 00:04:10,478
You guys have got to be
the weirdest couple I know.
108
00:04:15,885 --> 00:04:17,752
Really?
109
00:04:19,038 --> 00:04:23,008
You can't think
of anyone weirder?
110
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:25,010
I can,
111
00:04:25,012 --> 00:04:27,295
(whispers):
but she's sitting right there.
112
00:04:31,717 --> 00:04:33,051
Yes!
113
00:04:33,053 --> 00:04:36,721
I play the word "quiver "
with a triple letter
114
00:04:36,723 --> 00:04:40,308
and a double word
score for 72 points.
115
00:04:40,310 --> 00:04:43,645
That ought to let the air
out of your tires, Hawking.
116
00:04:45,364 --> 00:04:48,683
Wow, my boyfriend is friends
with Stephen Hawking
117
00:04:48,685 --> 00:04:51,286
and my new dandruff shampoo
doesn't smell like tar.
118
00:04:52,238 --> 00:04:56,441
Everything really is
coming up Amy.
119
00:04:56,443 --> 00:04:58,460
It is glorious.
120
00:04:58,462 --> 00:05:00,996
One of the greatest intellects
of our time
121
00:05:00,998 --> 00:05:04,532
has agreed to engage with me
in a gentlemanly battle of wits.
122
00:05:04,534 --> 00:05:06,301
And I'm spanking him so hard
123
00:05:06,303 --> 00:05:10,038
his grad students
won't be able to sit down.
124
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,474
You know, when one male
dominates another,
125
00:05:12,476 --> 00:05:14,342
his testosterone level rises.
126
00:05:14,344 --> 00:05:15,977
What's your point?
127
00:05:15,979 --> 00:05:19,831
It's exciting to think you might
be getting a testosterone level.
128
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,987
(tablet chimes)
Ooh!
129
00:05:25,989 --> 00:05:29,791
My friend Stephen just played
the word "act" for 18 points.
130
00:05:29,793 --> 00:05:32,694
That's right, I call
him Stephen now.
131
00:05:32,696 --> 00:05:36,331
Because I checked, and he
was not okay with Wheels.
132
00:05:36,333 --> 00:05:40,001
Oh, you could turn
his "act" into "extract,"
133
00:05:40,003 --> 00:05:41,820
and it would be
for double points.
134
00:05:41,822 --> 00:05:43,121
Amy.
135
00:05:43,123 --> 00:05:44,673
Why would you
give me a word?
136
00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:47,626
Now, if I play "extract"
it would be cheating.
137
00:05:47,628 --> 00:05:48,460
Sorry.
138
00:05:48,462 --> 00:05:50,462
Although, I could play
139
00:05:50,464 --> 00:05:54,816
the completely unrelated
and better word "extract"
140
00:05:56,585 --> 00:05:59,437
Ethical conundrum
avoided.
141
00:05:59,439 --> 00:06:02,807
Thanks, brain.
142
00:06:03,976 --> 00:06:06,394
Spaghetti okay?
143
00:06:06,396 --> 00:06:08,229
It's crunchy.
144
00:06:08,231 --> 00:06:11,066
Just the way
I like it.
145
00:06:11,068 --> 00:06:15,453
Yeah, I don't think
the water was really boiling.
146
00:06:15,455 --> 00:06:17,222
It's great. I love it.
147
00:06:17,224 --> 00:06:18,540
(chuckles)
148
00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:20,909
Okay, listen, there's something
I need to tell you.
149
00:06:20,911 --> 00:06:24,129
I've been thinking about going
back to school for a while now.
150
00:06:24,131 --> 00:06:26,614
So a couple months ago,
I started taking a history class
151
00:06:26,616 --> 00:06:27,716
at the community college.
152
00:06:27,718 --> 00:06:29,117
Oh.
153
00:06:29,119 --> 00:06:31,386
That's great!
Great, great, great!
154
00:06:31,388 --> 00:06:33,238
Why wait so long
to tell me?
155
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,674
I don't want you
to make a big deal out of it.
156
00:06:35,676 --> 00:06:37,058
Why do you think
I'd be like that?
157
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,727
I get it, you're taking
one class. It's nice.
158
00:06:38,729 --> 00:06:39,794
Maybe if it goes well,
159
00:06:39,796 --> 00:06:40,929
you take another,
you enroll full-time.
160
00:06:40,931 --> 00:06:42,147
Ooh, be sure to
keep an eye on
161
00:06:42,149 --> 00:06:44,699
which credits transfer
to a four-year college.
162
00:06:44,701 --> 00:06:47,218
You're making it a big deal.
163
00:06:47,220 --> 00:06:48,687
Sorry. Whatever.
164
00:06:48,689 --> 00:06:51,189
It's all good.
165
00:06:51,191 --> 00:06:52,240
Anyway, that's it.
166
00:06:52,242 --> 00:06:53,525
I just thought
you should know.
167
00:06:53,527 --> 00:06:56,394
Am I allowed to ask
how the class is going?
168
00:06:56,396 --> 00:06:57,612
It's really good.
169
00:06:57,614 --> 00:06:59,364
We've been talking about
the origins of slavery.
170
00:06:59,366 --> 00:07:00,648
Turn in
my first paper tomorrow.
171
00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:02,316
Great topic. I can
help with that.
172
00:07:02,318 --> 00:07:04,335
There are lots of different
perspectives you can take:
173
00:07:04,337 --> 00:07:05,837
economic, sociological,
political...
174
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,822
Hey, this is my paper.
175
00:07:07,824 --> 00:07:11,492
And my perspective
is that slavery is bad.
176
00:07:13,162 --> 00:07:14,495
Oh, and my professor's black,
177
00:07:14,497 --> 00:07:16,564
so I'm pretty sure
that's the right answer.
178
00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,350
Can I take a look?
179
00:07:19,352 --> 00:07:21,886
No, Leonard,
this is my thing.
180
00:07:21,888 --> 00:07:23,521
Okay, I get it.
181
00:07:23,523 --> 00:07:25,023
Thank you.
182
00:07:25,025 --> 00:07:26,641
It's like when I
started doing chin-ups;
183
00:07:26,643 --> 00:07:30,412
I didn't want you to see
until I could do one.
184
00:07:30,414 --> 00:07:33,882
FYI, really close.
185
00:07:33,884 --> 00:07:35,683
Thank you.
186
00:07:35,685 --> 00:07:37,202
Now behave yourself
and eat your dinner.
187
00:07:37,204 --> 00:07:38,203
Maybe later, if you're lucky,
188
00:07:38,205 --> 00:07:39,738
you get to sleep with
a college girl.
189
00:07:39,740 --> 00:07:40,822
Really?
190
00:07:40,824 --> 00:07:42,490
'Cause I went to
four years of college
191
00:07:42,492 --> 00:07:44,959
and five years of grad school,
that never happened once.
192
00:07:48,064 --> 00:07:51,049
I think the next time I have to
speak to a call center in India,
193
00:07:51,051 --> 00:07:54,335
I'm going to try using
an American accent.
194
00:07:56,672 --> 00:07:58,173
Why?
195
00:07:58,175 --> 00:08:00,558
Because when I use
my regular voice,
196
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,111
I feel like
I'm making fun of them.
197
00:08:05,564 --> 00:08:07,148
That's ridiculous.
198
00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:09,484
Not to mention, your
American accent is terrible.
199
00:08:09,486 --> 00:08:11,603
Dude, my accent is brilliant.
200
00:08:11,605 --> 00:08:13,688
(American accent): Hey,
my snow-white American friends,
201
00:08:13,690 --> 00:08:15,490
let's put some cow meat
on the barbecue
202
00:08:15,492 --> 00:08:19,277
and eat it
until we're all obese.
203
00:08:19,279 --> 00:08:21,029
This is what you sound like.
204
00:08:21,031 --> 00:08:22,580
(imitating Koothrappali):
I think I'm talking
205
00:08:22,582 --> 00:08:25,116
in an American accent,
but it really sounds like
206
00:08:25,118 --> 00:08:28,286
I'm wearing a set
of giant dentures.
207
00:08:28,288 --> 00:08:31,256
Sheldon, do I really
sound like that?
208
00:08:31,258 --> 00:08:33,625
(imitating Koothrappali):
Tell him he sounds like that.
209
00:08:35,461 --> 00:08:37,112
Sheldon, you okay?
210
00:08:37,114 --> 00:08:40,198
It's been three days.
211
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,485
Why hasn't Stephen
Hawking played a word?
212
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:46,254
The guy's a genius.
213
00:08:46,256 --> 00:08:48,256
Maybe you weren't
challenging enough for him.
214
00:08:48,258 --> 00:08:49,557
Not challenging?
215
00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,259
I was humiliating
the man.
216
00:08:51,261 --> 00:08:53,945
I was thinking of writing a
book called A Brief History of
217
00:08:53,947 --> 00:08:57,198
the Time I Made Stephen Hawking
Cry Like a Little Girl.
218
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,818
There's the problem.
219
00:08:59,820 --> 00:09:01,602
You can't beat Hawking
like that.
220
00:09:01,604 --> 00:09:02,821
He hates to lose.
221
00:09:02,823 --> 00:09:04,989
Everyone knows the
guy's a big baby.
222
00:09:04,991 --> 00:09:08,827
I mean, forget the wheelchair,
he should be in a stroller.
223
00:09:11,046 --> 00:09:12,747
Really?
224
00:09:12,749 --> 00:09:14,632
One time when I was
working with him,
225
00:09:14,634 --> 00:09:17,635
he said that Johnny Depp
was in The Matrix.
226
00:09:17,637 --> 00:09:20,421
I told him he was wrong,
but he kept insisting.
227
00:09:20,423 --> 00:09:22,924
So I looked it up
online and showed him.
228
00:09:22,926 --> 00:09:25,810
Well, the next day,
he had a pizza party,
229
00:09:25,812 --> 00:09:29,764
and everyone got invited but me.
230
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,850
And then he was all,
231
00:09:31,852 --> 00:09:33,902
(imitating Stephen Hawking):
"Your invitation must have
232
00:09:33,904 --> 00:09:37,405
gotten lost in the matrix."
233
00:09:40,042 --> 00:09:42,944
Good Lord,
what have I done?
234
00:09:42,946 --> 00:09:45,413
(American accent):
Good Lord, what have I done?
235
00:09:48,284 --> 00:09:50,585
Terrible.
236
00:09:50,587 --> 00:09:53,988
All right, hotshot,
let's hear your Indian.
237
00:09:53,990 --> 00:09:55,823
(Indian accent):
I can't sit on that elephant,
238
00:09:55,825 --> 00:09:59,994
ass is on fire
from eating all this curry.
239
00:10:03,432 --> 00:10:05,266
Okay, yeah, that's pretty good.
240
00:10:26,855 --> 00:10:28,823
Please be good.
241
00:10:28,825 --> 00:10:30,992
Please be good.
242
00:10:34,947 --> 00:10:36,831
Uh-huh.
243
00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:41,903
Uh-huh.
244
00:10:41,905 --> 00:10:43,905
Okay.
245
00:10:43,907 --> 00:10:47,108
She writes like she cooks.
246
00:10:51,502 --> 00:10:53,753
Play.
247
00:10:53,755 --> 00:10:56,205
Play. Play.
248
00:10:56,207 --> 00:10:57,840
Play.
249
00:10:57,842 --> 00:10:59,709
Play.
250
00:10:59,711 --> 00:11:01,126
What are you doing?
251
00:11:01,979 --> 00:11:03,930
Trying to use a Jedi mind trick
252
00:11:03,932 --> 00:11:06,182
to control Stephen Hawking.
253
00:11:07,017 --> 00:11:08,050
Play.
254
00:11:08,052 --> 00:11:10,069
Play.
255
00:11:10,071 --> 00:11:11,320
Oh...
256
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:15,041
He must be wearing
a tinfoil hat or something.
257
00:11:15,043 --> 00:11:17,360
I did a bad thing.
258
00:11:17,362 --> 00:11:18,878
Does it affect me?
259
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:19,829
No.
260
00:11:19,831 --> 00:11:22,147
Then suffer in silence.
261
00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:23,783
Play.
262
00:11:23,785 --> 00:11:27,286
Play. Play.
263
00:11:27,288 --> 00:11:29,154
(knocking)
Stephen Hawking...
264
00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:32,575
Stephen Hawking...
Stephen Hawking.
265
00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:35,711
Penny started taking a class.
266
00:11:35,713 --> 00:11:37,496
She wrote a paper,
she didn't want me to read it,
267
00:11:37,498 --> 00:11:39,164
I went behind her back
and I read it anyway.
268
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:41,350
Stephen Hawking hates me.
269
00:11:42,186 --> 00:11:43,719
I don't know what to do.
270
00:11:43,721 --> 00:11:45,004
I mean, the paper's terrible.
271
00:11:45,006 --> 00:11:47,223
But if I tell her,
she'll know that I read it
272
00:11:47,225 --> 00:11:48,574
and she'll get really mad.
273
00:11:48,576 --> 00:11:49,842
I was beating him so bad,
274
00:11:49,844 --> 00:11:51,844
he doesn't want
to be friends anymore.
275
00:11:51,846 --> 00:11:55,281
Why does everyone love me
except Stephen Hawking?
276
00:11:55,283 --> 00:11:58,518
Is it possible we're having
two different conversations?
277
00:11:58,520 --> 00:11:59,819
How would I know?
278
00:11:59,821 --> 00:12:01,821
I'm not listening to you.
279
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:03,956
Hang on.
280
00:12:05,742 --> 00:12:06,742
Okay.
281
00:12:06,744 --> 00:12:07,910
Here's what we're gonna do.
282
00:12:07,912 --> 00:12:09,145
Chess clock.
283
00:12:09,147 --> 00:12:11,631
We each get five minutes
to talk about our problems.
284
00:12:11,633 --> 00:12:12,665
We'll take turns.
285
00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:14,083
Each turn will consist of
286
00:12:14,085 --> 00:12:16,969
a statement and a helpful
response from the friend.
287
00:12:16,971 --> 00:12:18,454
Begin.
288
00:12:18,456 --> 00:12:21,307
I humiliated Stephen Hawking
289
00:12:21,309 --> 00:12:22,708
in a game of Words with Friends.
290
00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:23,809
He stopped playing.
291
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:25,294
And now we're not
friends anymore.
292
00:12:25,296 --> 00:12:27,263
He's probably busy.
293
00:12:27,265 --> 00:12:28,714
You're worried about nothing.
294
00:12:28,716 --> 00:12:30,299
Give it
a couple more days.
295
00:12:30,301 --> 00:12:31,901
I'm sure he'll play, and you'll
see that everything's fine.
296
00:12:31,903 --> 00:12:34,387
My turn.
297
00:12:34,389 --> 00:12:36,272
I can't let Penny
hand in a bad paper,
298
00:12:36,274 --> 00:12:37,907
but how do I tell her it's bad
299
00:12:37,909 --> 00:12:39,592
without letting her know
that I read it?
300
00:12:39,594 --> 00:12:40,943
Hmm.
301
00:12:40,945 --> 00:12:42,394
Beats me. Now...
302
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,915
I know Hawking's not busy
303
00:12:45,917 --> 00:12:48,534
because I can see he's playing
other people right now.
304
00:12:48,536 --> 00:12:50,920
Maybe since you're so good,
305
00:12:50,922 --> 00:12:53,372
he's taking his time
to meet the challenge.
306
00:12:53,374 --> 00:12:54,707
I want Penny to enjoy school...
307
00:12:54,709 --> 00:12:56,876
Wolowitz told me
he's a big baby!
308
00:12:56,878 --> 00:12:58,361
But I didn't know that,
309
00:12:58,363 --> 00:13:00,579
and I played "extract"
for 82 points.
310
00:13:00,581 --> 00:13:02,965
It's all Amy's fault.
She told me to play it.
311
00:13:02,967 --> 00:13:05,401
I have got to cut her loose.
312
00:13:06,270 --> 00:13:08,888
Sheldon, I wasn't done talking.
313
00:13:08,890 --> 00:13:10,640
She hands in the paper tomorrow.
314
00:13:10,642 --> 00:13:12,308
I know I could help her.
315
00:13:12,310 --> 00:13:14,026
And she's my girlfriend...
316
00:13:14,028 --> 00:13:15,478
I-I should be
allowed to help her.
317
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:16,996
Why aren't I allowed
to help her?
318
00:13:16,998 --> 00:13:19,098
Yeah, I hear you, brother.
319
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:21,284
No.
320
00:13:21,286 --> 00:13:22,602
You need to give me some advice.
321
00:13:22,604 --> 00:13:24,503
Fine. Women, huh?
322
00:13:24,505 --> 00:13:26,188
No...
323
00:13:27,257 --> 00:13:30,192
Specific to my situation.
324
00:13:30,194 --> 00:13:31,594
Blonde women, huh?
325
00:13:34,031 --> 00:13:35,548
Empathetic!
326
00:13:35,550 --> 00:13:37,783
It sucks to be you.
I quit.
327
00:13:37,785 --> 00:13:40,036
Leonard, wait. No.
328
00:13:40,038 --> 00:13:43,306
I listened to your dumb thing.
329
00:13:43,308 --> 00:13:44,707
Leonard, come back.
330
00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:45,958
Leonard,
come back.
331
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:46,993
Leonard, come back.
332
00:13:46,995 --> 00:13:48,477
What?
Oh, of course,
333
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:50,896
it only works
on the weak-minded.
334
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:02,575
(singsongy): Good morning,
sunshine.
335
00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:04,977
Leonard.
336
00:14:04,979 --> 00:14:06,645
It's 8:00 a.m.
337
00:14:06,647 --> 00:14:09,148
It's like the middle
of the night.
338
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:12,001
I know, but I have
to go to work,
339
00:14:12,003 --> 00:14:13,953
and I made you
breakfast.
340
00:14:13,955 --> 00:14:15,871
Oh, wow,
that's so sweet.
341
00:14:15,873 --> 00:14:17,456
Hey, what's this?
Uh,
342
00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:19,508
before you open that, um,
are you familiar
343
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:22,178
with the story of
"The Shoemaker and the Elves"?
344
00:14:22,180 --> 00:14:23,495
Elves? Come on, Leonard.
345
00:14:23,497 --> 00:14:26,265
- It's too early for Lord of the Rings.
- No, no.
346
00:14:29,553 --> 00:14:30,770
Listen, um...
347
00:14:30,772 --> 00:14:32,671
Once upon a time,
there was this shoemaker
348
00:14:32,673 --> 00:14:34,523
and when he went
to bed at night,
349
00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:35,858
elves would sneak in
350
00:14:35,860 --> 00:14:38,177
and they would make
all these amazing
351
00:14:38,179 --> 00:14:39,311
shoes for him.
352
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,030
And when the shoemaker
woke up in the morning,
353
00:14:41,032 --> 00:14:43,199
he-he would be super happy,
354
00:14:43,201 --> 00:14:46,285
not mad at the elves at all.
355
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,888
Open it.
356
00:14:48,890 --> 00:14:51,040
Okay.
(clears throat)
357
00:14:51,042 --> 00:14:53,743
"An examination
of the economic, cultural,
358
00:14:53,745 --> 00:14:55,911
and political roots of slavery
359
00:14:55,913 --> 00:14:59,498
in the Old South:
1619 to 1865."
360
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:02,802
What the hell is this?
361
00:15:02,804 --> 00:15:05,971
Don't ask me.
A little elf did it.
362
00:15:07,808 --> 00:15:09,592
So let me get this straight.
363
00:15:09,594 --> 00:15:12,094
You just assumed my paper
would be bad
364
00:15:12,096 --> 00:15:13,796
so you wrote one for me?
365
00:15:13,798 --> 00:15:15,414
No, I assumed it would be good.
Then I read it.
366
00:15:15,416 --> 00:15:17,133
What?!
No, I...
367
00:15:17,135 --> 00:15:19,151
I mean, it was good.
368
00:15:19,153 --> 00:15:21,854
There were just a few things
that needed a little polishing.
369
00:15:21,856 --> 00:15:24,657
W... You changed every word.
That's not true.
370
00:15:24,659 --> 00:15:25,724
Uh...
371
00:15:25,726 --> 00:15:26,992
"Slavery."
372
00:15:29,246 --> 00:15:31,363
"1619,"
373
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:34,166
your name at the top--
that's all you.
374
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,819
You are such an ass.
375
00:15:36,821 --> 00:15:38,237
This is exactly why
I didn't want to tell you
376
00:15:38,239 --> 00:15:40,072
I was taking a class
in the first place.
377
00:15:40,074 --> 00:15:41,757
Please don't be upset.
I-I just...
378
00:15:41,759 --> 00:15:44,043
I didn't want you ending up
with a bad grade
379
00:15:44,045 --> 00:15:46,078
and get discouraged
and give up on the idea
380
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,179
of going back to school.
381
00:15:47,181 --> 00:15:49,381
Right, because me
being in school
382
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:50,800
is so important to you.
383
00:15:50,802 --> 00:15:53,068
That way, you wouldn't have
to be dating someone
384
00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:54,386
who's only a waitress.
385
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,088
Oh, come on, you know
that's not true.
386
00:15:56,090 --> 00:15:57,589
Do I? Listen to me.
387
00:15:57,591 --> 00:15:59,225
I need to do this on my own.
388
00:15:59,227 --> 00:16:01,426
If I fail, I fail.
If I pass, I pass.
389
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,427
Do you get it?
390
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:03,896
I'm sorry.
I was just trying
391
00:16:03,898 --> 00:16:06,115
to help.
Yeah, well, next time don't.
392
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:09,084
Oh, and since
you like stories so much,
393
00:16:09,086 --> 00:16:10,803
this is not "The Shoemaker
and the Elves," okay?
394
00:16:10,805 --> 00:16:13,372
This is, "Give a man a fish,
he eats it.
395
00:16:13,374 --> 00:16:14,790
"Teach a man to fish, he...
396
00:16:14,792 --> 00:16:16,608
sells it or something."
Whatever, I don't know!
397
00:16:16,610 --> 00:16:18,761
It's just a lot better
than what you did, you big jerk!
398
00:16:20,197 --> 00:16:22,331
(door slams)
399
00:16:24,785 --> 00:16:27,369
You ever hear back
from Hawking?
400
00:16:27,371 --> 00:16:29,054
No.
401
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:31,307
It would appear
as if I've lost him.
402
00:16:31,309 --> 00:16:33,292
Stupid brain.
403
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:36,262
It'll be okay.
404
00:16:36,264 --> 00:16:38,314
How can it be okay?
405
00:16:38,316 --> 00:16:39,865
Stephen Hawking's a genius
406
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:41,817
and he talks like a robot.
407
00:16:41,819 --> 00:16:44,970
It's everything I've ever wanted
in a friend.
408
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,273
Yeah, but if he's
a sore loser,
409
00:16:47,275 --> 00:16:48,774
maybe you're better
off without him.
410
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,160
You're right.
411
00:16:51,162 --> 00:16:54,313
I guess I just have to make
lemonade out of the two of you.
412
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:58,284
(chime)
413
00:16:58,286 --> 00:17:00,252
(gasps) He played!
He played!
414
00:17:00,254 --> 00:17:03,956
Coop and Rolling Thunder
are together again.
415
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,659
He was okay with that nickname.
416
00:17:07,661 --> 00:17:09,860
So, now all you have to do
is let him win.
417
00:17:09,885 --> 00:17:11,846
Yeah,
way ahead of you.
418
00:17:11,849 --> 00:17:14,216
I will play the word "at"
419
00:17:14,218 --> 00:17:17,119
for two measly points,
throwing the game
420
00:17:17,121 --> 00:17:18,637
and thus securing my friendship
421
00:17:18,639 --> 00:17:20,890
with the smartest man
in the world.
422
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,349
What are you waiting for?
Hit "send."
423
00:17:30,351 --> 00:17:31,516
I can't.
424
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:34,069
Losing on purpose
is intellectually dishonest.
425
00:17:34,071 --> 00:17:35,371
So don't do it.
426
00:17:35,373 --> 00:17:37,189
Oh, but I want
to be Hawking's friend.
427
00:17:37,191 --> 00:17:38,440
So do it.
428
00:17:38,442 --> 00:17:40,376
No, but if I do,
I'll be a phony,
429
00:17:40,378 --> 00:17:41,526
a sellout,
430
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,829
a Hollywood poser.
431
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,482
Then don't do it.
432
00:17:46,484 --> 00:17:48,117
I won't.
433
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:49,552
This feels right.
434
00:17:49,554 --> 00:17:52,755
My mother always said,
"To thine own self be true."
435
00:17:52,757 --> 00:17:54,089
Good for you.
436
00:17:54,091 --> 00:17:55,758
'Course she also told me
that every animal in the world
437
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,477
got on one boat, so what does
she know? And send.
438
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:05,901
Oh, hey.
439
00:18:05,903 --> 00:18:07,319
Haven't heard from you
in a couple days.
440
00:18:07,321 --> 00:18:08,304
You still mad at me?
441
00:18:08,306 --> 00:18:09,554
Nope.
442
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,574
I have no reason to...
443
00:18:11,576 --> 00:18:13,492
"B" mad at you.
444
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,645
Minus.
445
00:18:16,647 --> 00:18:18,030
(chuckles)
446
00:18:18,032 --> 00:18:18,948
Wow.
447
00:18:18,950 --> 00:18:20,732
That's right.
On my paper.
448
00:18:20,734 --> 00:18:23,719
Not yours, mine,
you punk-ass elf.
449
00:18:25,488 --> 00:18:27,423
I don't know what to say.
450
00:18:27,425 --> 00:18:28,791
Hmm, how about,
451
00:18:28,793 --> 00:18:31,410
(mockingly): "Gee, Penny, you're smarter
than I thought.
452
00:18:31,412 --> 00:18:33,262
"You may be the one in school,
453
00:18:33,264 --> 00:18:35,381
"but I'm the one
who learned a lesson.
454
00:18:35,383 --> 00:18:39,418
I'm so stupid, Penny.
Duh..."
455
00:18:44,307 --> 00:18:47,426
She sounds exactly like you!
456
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,280
How'd it go
with Leonard?
457
00:18:51,282 --> 00:18:54,533
(sighs) I don't think he'll be making
that mistake again.
458
00:18:54,535 --> 00:18:55,534
Good.
459
00:18:55,536 --> 00:18:56,535
So,
460
00:18:56,537 --> 00:18:57,602
I know this goes
without saying,
461
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:58,871
but if either of you
tell Leonard
462
00:18:58,873 --> 00:19:00,105
you helped me rewrite
this paper,
463
00:19:00,107 --> 00:19:02,825
I will beat you both
with a bag of oranges.
464
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,944
Got it.
Understood.
465
00:19:04,946 --> 00:19:07,630
Now, ladies, we got a
B-minus on this paper.
466
00:19:07,632 --> 00:19:09,331
I think if we put
our heads together,
467
00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:11,700
on the next one
we could get an "A."
468
00:19:11,702 --> 00:19:14,687
Uh, but we got you a B-minus on
purpose to make it believable.
469
00:19:14,689 --> 00:19:16,088
Believable?
470
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,340
You saying I'm not smart?
471
00:19:18,342 --> 00:19:20,859
No, no!
You're smart.
472
00:19:21,678 --> 00:19:23,429
That's better.
473
00:19:24,814 --> 00:19:27,299
(quietly): I feel like I'm in
high school again.
474
00:19:27,301 --> 00:19:31,654
Yeah, doing the prom queen's
homework so she'll like us.
475
00:19:31,656 --> 00:19:33,638
I know.
476
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,824
It's finally working.
477
00:19:40,841 --> 00:19:43,059
(phone rings)
478
00:19:46,263 --> 00:19:47,730
It's Stephen Hawking.
479
00:19:47,732 --> 00:19:49,599
(stutters)
Answer it.
480
00:19:49,601 --> 00:19:51,784
I want to hear.
481
00:19:52,786 --> 00:19:54,187
Professor Hawking,
482
00:19:54,189 --> 00:19:55,672
how nice of you to call.
483
00:19:55,674 --> 00:19:56,906
Hello.
484
00:19:56,908 --> 00:19:59,826
I really enjoyed our game,
Dr. Cooper.
485
00:19:59,828 --> 00:20:00,827
Oh,
486
00:20:00,829 --> 00:20:02,712
me, too.
487
00:20:02,714 --> 00:20:06,382
Or should I say Dr. Loser?
488
00:20:08,752 --> 00:20:10,286
Ha, ha, ha.
489
00:20:11,788 --> 00:20:13,740
Yes,
490
00:20:13,742 --> 00:20:15,008
congratulations.
491
00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:16,926
You won fair and square.
492
00:20:16,928 --> 00:20:18,845
Uh, very impressive, sir.
493
00:20:18,847 --> 00:20:20,847
Do you like brain teasers?
494
00:20:20,849 --> 00:20:23,299
Oh, I love brain teasers.
495
00:20:23,811 --> 00:20:26,195
What does Sheldon Cooper
496
00:20:26,197 --> 00:20:29,865
and a black hole have in common?
497
00:20:29,867 --> 00:20:32,034
They both suck.
498
00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:40,622
Neener neener.
499
00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:45,670
== sync, corrected by elderman ==