1 00:00:01,971 --> 00:00:03,559 After a year of false starts, 2 00:00:03,567 --> 00:00:05,772 missed opportunities, and not enough candle light, 3 00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:09,088 Dallas and George's relationship, was finally about to ignite. 4 00:00:09,104 --> 00:00:12,529 I swear George, we have been laughing all night. 5 00:00:15,947 --> 00:00:18,298 Except for right now. Right now it's just weird. 6 00:00:20,034 --> 00:00:21,718 Well, it's late. Maybe I should go. 7 00:00:21,769 --> 00:00:23,073 Tonight has been perfect. 8 00:00:23,104 --> 00:00:26,056 No, George, it hasn't been perfect, 9 00:00:26,090 --> 00:00:27,974 at least, not yet. 10 00:00:32,830 --> 00:00:34,216 What about Dalia? 11 00:00:34,263 --> 00:00:36,085 Oh, we're not into that. 12 00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:38,478 No, I meant where is Dalia? 13 00:00:38,494 --> 00:00:41,262 Oh, Dalia's sleeping outside of Versace for their annual sale, 14 00:00:41,263 --> 00:00:43,524 so we've got this big old place all to ourselves. 15 00:00:43,623 --> 00:00:44,374 Really? 16 00:00:44,425 --> 00:00:47,455 What could we possibly do in a house this size, 17 00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:50,850 - with so many empty bedrooms? - Oh, I'll show you. 18 00:00:50,881 --> 00:00:54,370 This has been a long time coming, George, 19 00:00:54,416 --> 00:00:57,458 and I do not intend to disappoint. 20 00:00:57,709 --> 00:00:59,672 - Dallas... - No. No. George. 21 00:00:59,695 --> 00:01:01,573 Five minutes. I'm just gonna touch up my face, 22 00:01:01,589 --> 00:01:03,419 slip into something more comfortable, retouch my face, 23 00:01:03,434 --> 00:01:05,014 and get this party started, right? 24 00:01:06,078 --> 00:01:07,509 Right. 25 00:01:08,197 --> 00:01:10,567 Dallas, I'm falling asleep down there. 26 00:01:10,568 --> 00:01:12,216 You coming back? Hello? 27 00:01:12,249 --> 00:01:14,283 Hit the switch, daddy! 28 00:01:14,318 --> 00:01:15,799 O... okay. 29 00:01:15,853 --> 00:01:17,081 [ David Guetta ft. Akon "Sexy Chick" ] 30 00:01:17,105 --> 00:01:18,521 What's going on? Dallas? 31 00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:19,856 ♪ Damn, girl 32 00:01:19,890 --> 00:01:22,885 Are you sure you should be hanging like that? 33 00:01:22,925 --> 00:01:24,427 ♪ Damn, girl 34 00:01:24,461 --> 00:01:27,633 Well, you know how to make an entrance. 35 00:01:27,664 --> 00:01:29,380 ♪ Sexy chick 36 00:01:29,393 --> 00:01:31,441 - Whoa! - What are you doing? 37 00:01:31,472 --> 00:01:33,240 I'm popping it so you can lock it. 38 00:01:33,286 --> 00:01:35,070 I'm tooting it so you can boot it. 39 00:01:35,077 --> 00:01:36,736 Why... why don't you hold off on tooting? 40 00:01:36,759 --> 00:01:38,651 Are we sure this thing is safe for booting? 41 00:01:38,669 --> 00:01:40,419 Hey! You want to snap a pic of me? 42 00:01:40,421 --> 00:01:42,439 Uh, I don't have my phone. 43 00:01:42,490 --> 00:01:45,440 Okay then. Ready or not, here I come! 44 00:01:45,727 --> 00:01:47,427 Aah! Oh. Oh! 45 00:01:47,445 --> 00:01:49,045 You okay? 46 00:01:49,538 --> 00:01:51,438 You want me to be okay? 47 00:01:51,439 --> 00:01:53,402 - Yes. - Well, then I am. 48 00:01:53,521 --> 00:01:54,895 Oh, good. 49 00:01:55,435 --> 00:01:56,193 Where you going? 50 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,835 Intermission. Hey. Why don't you go ahead 51 00:01:58,845 --> 00:02:00,659 and pick out your favorite flavor of spermicide? 52 00:02:00,706 --> 00:02:02,174 Sperm... spermicide? 53 00:02:03,827 --> 00:02:04,913 Oh. 54 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:07,980 It's totally your call, but I like yankee pot roast. 55 00:02:08,014 --> 00:02:10,597 - I had a big lunch, but thanks. - Oh, George! 56 00:02:10,717 --> 00:02:13,519 ♪ He's a yankee pot roast man 57 00:02:13,553 --> 00:02:17,087 Hey. I did not commit to that... flavor. What is going on? 58 00:02:17,105 --> 00:02:19,975 Come on, George. Deep down, there's not a man alive 59 00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:21,485 who doesn't want to do it with a choir leader 60 00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:23,636 while the whole gospel choir looks on. 61 00:02:23,691 --> 00:02:24,848 'Fess up. 62 00:02:25,091 --> 00:02:27,796 ♪ 'fess up, 'fess up, 'fess up ♪ 63 00:02:27,916 --> 00:02:29,423 ♪ pot roast man, 'fess up 64 00:02:29,438 --> 00:02:31,526 - ♪ mmm okay, you know - What? Uh, yeah, sorry. 65 00:02:31,646 --> 00:02:32,699 Thank you. 66 00:02:32,894 --> 00:02:34,850 You know what? The choir... 67 00:02:35,061 --> 00:02:36,881 and a couple of these other things 68 00:02:36,882 --> 00:02:38,282 make me a little uncomfortable. 69 00:02:38,344 --> 00:02:39,768 Do you think we could just be alone? 70 00:02:39,769 --> 00:02:41,564 George Altman, 71 00:02:41,614 --> 00:02:43,850 you're out of your damn mind, 72 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:46,323 and I love it. Well, go figure. 73 00:02:46,376 --> 00:02:48,073 Thanks, but no thanks, y'all. 74 00:02:48,193 --> 00:02:49,270 Thanks. 75 00:02:49,309 --> 00:02:51,687 - ♪ Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm - Can we just sit down? 76 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,673 ♪ Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm 77 00:02:53,689 --> 00:02:55,237 ♪ hmm, hmm, hmm 78 00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:56,856 What is it, George? 79 00:02:56,895 --> 00:02:58,647 Can we just start with a kiss? 80 00:02:58,850 --> 00:03:00,140 Okay. 81 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,724 Whoa. 82 00:03:06,115 --> 00:03:08,024 Whoa. 83 00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:09,713 Whoa! 84 00:03:09,745 --> 00:03:10,542 Dallas? 85 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:14,163 Oh! That was amazing! 86 00:03:14,283 --> 00:03:17,604 Holy smokes! George, you're the best! 87 00:03:17,724 --> 00:03:20,936 The best I've ever had, I swear. 88 00:03:20,970 --> 00:03:23,738 Whew. You Tucker me out, George. 89 00:03:23,773 --> 00:03:25,773 Thank you. 90 00:03:27,793 --> 00:03:31,096 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 91 00:03:31,130 --> 00:03:35,734 [Alih Jay] ♪ last night I had a pleasant nightmare ♪ 92 00:03:35,768 --> 00:03:39,271 2x04 Foam Finger 93 00:03:40,907 --> 00:03:42,774 The good news is I got them on sale. 94 00:03:42,825 --> 00:03:45,045 The bad news is I'm gonna be wearing them 95 00:03:45,077 --> 00:03:46,946 when I walk out of your lives. 96 00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:49,675 My dad's getting remarried, you guys, 97 00:03:49,698 --> 00:03:52,665 to this super cool stewardess on Air Singapore. 98 00:03:52,785 --> 00:03:54,257 Her name's Wan'er. 99 00:03:54,265 --> 00:03:55,103 Wan'er? 100 00:03:55,137 --> 00:03:56,831 Wan'er is like the name Dalia over there. 101 00:03:57,050 --> 00:03:58,293 All the hot bitches have it. 102 00:03:58,295 --> 00:03:59,777 Is Wan'er really pretty? 103 00:03:59,786 --> 00:04:01,922 No. She's gorgeous. 104 00:04:01,948 --> 00:04:04,338 She's basically a Singaporean supermodel, 105 00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:06,176 and I'm gonna be maid of honor at the wedding, 106 00:04:06,296 --> 00:04:07,475 and we're gonna sell the pictures 107 00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:10,024 to the Asian Internet for $10 million. 108 00:04:10,071 --> 00:04:11,799 Wow! Ooh! 109 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,614 And then I'm gonna go with them on their honeymoon, 110 00:04:13,637 --> 00:04:16,061 and there's a fairly good chance that shortly thereafter, 111 00:04:16,084 --> 00:04:18,071 I'll be named Queen of Singapore. 112 00:04:18,681 --> 00:04:20,386 Wait. 113 00:04:20,730 --> 00:04:22,677 So you're moving to Singapore? 114 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:26,391 Nothing's official, but, yes, it's official. 115 00:04:26,511 --> 00:04:27,627 But what about us? 116 00:04:27,628 --> 00:04:30,011 You're gonna have to find someone new to copy. 117 00:04:30,013 --> 00:04:34,033 From now on, I only have one B.F.F., and that's Wan'er. 118 00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,362 - What do you want, nerd? - Hey there, Dalia. 119 00:04:41,370 --> 00:04:43,080 So, uh, I'm cold-calling 120 00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:44,880 every single girl I've ever met in my life 121 00:04:44,881 --> 00:04:46,311 because I need a beautiful assistant 122 00:04:46,312 --> 00:04:49,092 for my final presentation in magic class. 123 00:04:49,126 --> 00:04:50,018 My mom has shingles. 124 00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:51,113 Who cares? Bye. 125 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,200 No, wait! No. No. No. 126 00:04:52,231 --> 00:04:54,429 Look, my presentation counts for three-fourths of my grade. 127 00:04:54,430 --> 00:04:56,524 I... I need to make an object disappear. 128 00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:58,440 How about I make you disappear, loser? 129 00:04:58,441 --> 00:05:00,716 No, no, no, no! Wait, wait! 130 00:05:00,935 --> 00:05:02,554 Ta-da. 131 00:05:04,102 --> 00:05:06,362 Hey, what do the girls think about the two of you dating? 132 00:05:06,385 --> 00:05:08,207 I'll find out tonight. We're taking them out for Chinese 133 00:05:08,215 --> 00:05:09,600 and then drop the news. 134 00:05:09,647 --> 00:05:11,047 I'm cautiously optimistic. 135 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,416 Tessa loves Dallas, you know. 136 00:05:12,447 --> 00:05:13,250 The sooner the better, man. 137 00:05:13,251 --> 00:05:14,949 You just gotta rip that band-aid right off. 138 00:05:15,069 --> 00:05:16,975 Hey, speaking of ripping things off, 139 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,024 did you get Dallas naked yet? Did you take any phone pics? 140 00:05:20,025 --> 00:05:20,995 I always take phone pics. 141 00:05:21,018 --> 00:05:22,841 No, I didn't take any phone pics. 142 00:05:24,764 --> 00:05:27,204 You know what? I feel a little weird talking about this, 143 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:29,597 mostly because... it was really weird. 144 00:05:29,605 --> 00:05:30,559 Okay. 145 00:05:30,679 --> 00:05:33,172 The whole thing lasted about three seconds, 146 00:05:33,492 --> 00:05:34,978 give or take two seconds. 147 00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:38,764 I'm sorry, buddy. It happens. It happens. 148 00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:40,148 You gotta think about something else. 149 00:05:40,171 --> 00:05:44,019 I always imagine elderly women eating egg salad sandwiches. 150 00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:45,364 It wasn't me. It was her. 151 00:05:46,193 --> 00:05:47,109 I'm confused. 152 00:05:47,110 --> 00:05:48,720 Yes, as... as was I. 153 00:05:48,759 --> 00:05:50,652 Could she have some kind of a medical condition? 154 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:51,974 What kind of medical condition? 155 00:05:52,005 --> 00:05:53,600 Maybe it was just all the buildup, you know, 156 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:54,742 the anticipation. 157 00:05:54,797 --> 00:05:55,946 Look, do me a favor. 158 00:05:56,066 --> 00:05:59,458 Next time, skip the appetizers. Go right for the entree. 159 00:05:59,578 --> 00:06:00,827 - All right? - Right. 160 00:06:00,881 --> 00:06:02,141 That's how Jill likes it. 161 00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:04,362 We haven't kissed on the mouth in 13 years. 162 00:06:04,482 --> 00:06:06,105 We couldn't be happier. 163 00:06:06,121 --> 00:06:08,311 Wanna see my phone pics? 164 00:06:26,661 --> 00:06:28,175 Hey! 165 00:06:28,295 --> 00:06:29,849 Ya! Ya! 166 00:06:29,904 --> 00:06:32,477 Ya! Come on! What is wrong with you? 167 00:06:32,531 --> 00:06:34,182 Why are you walking in the middle of the street? 168 00:06:34,205 --> 00:06:36,067 Dalia has a new B.F.F. 169 00:06:36,114 --> 00:06:37,871 We've got no one to tell us what to do. 170 00:06:37,872 --> 00:06:39,106 You need someone to tell you 171 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,391 not to walk in the middle of the street? 172 00:06:40,446 --> 00:06:42,275 Well, yeah. 173 00:06:42,309 --> 00:06:44,761 You guys, Tessa's so smart. 174 00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:46,813 She told us not to walk in the street. 175 00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,125 Will you lead us? 176 00:06:48,180 --> 00:06:50,533 Uh, no. 177 00:06:50,568 --> 00:06:52,715 Sorry. I just have a bunch of homework 178 00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:55,233 and dinner plans, and also, I don't want to. 179 00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:57,354 Oh, my goodness! Let's get out of here. 180 00:06:57,408 --> 00:06:59,997 But how will we get home? 181 00:07:00,631 --> 00:07:01,444 I can take you. 182 00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:04,264 I can take all three of you. 183 00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:08,889 Okay. 184 00:07:08,890 --> 00:07:10,118 And then all three of them 185 00:07:10,119 --> 00:07:11,816 were about to get in this molest-y van. 186 00:07:12,103 --> 00:07:14,638 Lisa, they need someone, 187 00:07:14,673 --> 00:07:15,998 and I would take them myself, 188 00:07:16,045 --> 00:07:19,323 but I have a bunch of homework and dinner plans, 189 00:07:19,361 --> 00:07:21,106 and also, I don't want to. 190 00:07:21,153 --> 00:07:23,180 Well, I did dog-sit two summers ago. 191 00:07:23,214 --> 00:07:24,648 Three golden-doodles. 192 00:07:24,666 --> 00:07:26,189 Glorious girls. 193 00:07:26,190 --> 00:07:28,090 Mind you, that was before backup cameras. 194 00:07:28,129 --> 00:07:29,154 Right. 195 00:07:30,585 --> 00:07:32,767 So keep them out of the driveway? 196 00:07:32,998 --> 00:07:34,206 I'll do it. 197 00:07:34,326 --> 00:07:35,137 Okay. 198 00:07:35,168 --> 00:07:37,021 I need all the K.K.K. in the house. 199 00:07:37,022 --> 00:07:39,125 Come on! Kimantha, Kenzie, Kaitlyn. 200 00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:41,080 There you go, girls! 201 00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:44,106 Oh, and also, they, uh... shed. 202 00:07:44,226 --> 00:07:46,156 Okay. 203 00:07:46,210 --> 00:07:49,902 We have a... a little announcement to make. 204 00:07:50,199 --> 00:07:52,717 No coupon tonight. Everything full price. 205 00:07:52,768 --> 00:07:53,531 That's fine. 206 00:07:53,585 --> 00:07:55,017 Price doesn't include gratuity. 207 00:07:55,024 --> 00:07:57,331 O... okay. Why... why is she directing this at me? 208 00:07:57,362 --> 00:07:59,774 Sorry, George. Shun Ju can be a little... 209 00:07:59,775 --> 00:08:01,757 You want extra pancake? You pay. 210 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:03,306 I don't even know if we're getting moo shu. 211 00:08:03,321 --> 00:08:04,072 We're trying to celebrate 212 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,340 - our first dinner together as a couple. - You guys are a couple? 213 00:08:06,365 --> 00:08:08,866 Well, yeah, that's... that's what we wanted to tell you kids. 214 00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:10,469 No children's plate! 215 00:08:10,519 --> 00:08:13,102 - With less hostility from the waitress. - Well, this is great. 216 00:08:13,222 --> 00:08:14,599 I'm really happy for you two. 217 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,590 Oh, Tessa, thank goodness. 218 00:08:16,591 --> 00:08:17,907 I mean, you'd really have to be blind 219 00:08:17,923 --> 00:08:19,268 not to see this one coming. 220 00:08:19,269 --> 00:08:20,628 Right, Dalia? 221 00:08:20,662 --> 00:08:22,927 Dalia? Please answer Tessa's query 222 00:08:22,928 --> 00:08:25,007 as to whether you are or are not blind. 223 00:08:25,008 --> 00:08:27,644 Sorry, mommy. Wan'er is totes blowing up my phone 224 00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:29,333 about dress ideas for the wedding. 225 00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:30,358 Wedding? Whose wedding? 226 00:08:30,397 --> 00:08:31,336 No, not... not ours. 227 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,494 We're not there yet. Steven, apparently, is. 228 00:08:33,502 --> 00:08:36,927 I am so glad he found someone who doesn't speak English. 229 00:08:37,287 --> 00:08:39,367 That truly was his only chance at happiness. 230 00:08:39,375 --> 00:08:40,689 O.M.G., you guys. 231 00:08:40,809 --> 00:08:42,957 Wan'er is such a card. 232 00:08:43,077 --> 00:08:44,622 She's making me L.O.L. 233 00:08:44,742 --> 00:08:46,404 My stomach, like, literally hurts 234 00:08:46,405 --> 00:08:48,978 from all the L.O.Ls Wan'er keeps dropping. 235 00:08:49,831 --> 00:08:51,715 Speaking of, 236 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,883 I'm gonna go lay some lo mein. 237 00:08:54,164 --> 00:08:55,056 Cool. 238 00:08:55,087 --> 00:08:57,613 I'm so relieved. I think she took the news real well, 239 00:08:57,629 --> 00:08:58,536 if she heard it. 240 00:08:58,575 --> 00:09:00,811 Normally, Dalia's not so good with change, 241 00:09:00,812 --> 00:09:03,009 but she's been peaches and cream. 242 00:09:03,129 --> 00:09:04,759 I knew Dalia well enough to know 243 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,724 that she was neither peaches nor cream, 244 00:09:06,740 --> 00:09:09,820 and something told me her story about Wan'er 245 00:09:09,821 --> 00:09:13,106 was just as spotty as the cell reception in Shun Ju. 246 00:09:21,333 --> 00:09:25,189 Oh. George! Well, this is a surprise. 247 00:09:25,309 --> 00:09:28,422 That's what I was going for... surprise. 248 00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:33,564 George, look at you with your sweaty hair 249 00:09:33,565 --> 00:09:35,812 and me in my not-expecting-company clothes. 250 00:09:35,813 --> 00:09:36,813 You should... 251 00:09:36,865 --> 00:09:39,483 Mmm! Oh, my gosh, George, yes! 252 00:09:39,534 --> 00:09:42,853 Oh, yes. Oh, George. Oh, here I go. 253 00:09:42,887 --> 00:09:44,070 Ooh, it's happening. Whoa. 254 00:09:44,109 --> 00:09:45,455 Whoa! 255 00:09:45,490 --> 00:09:47,791 Whoa! 256 00:09:47,825 --> 00:09:49,795 You're number one, George. 257 00:09:49,811 --> 00:09:53,072 Where did that finger come from? Dallas, I barely touched you. 258 00:09:53,081 --> 00:09:54,886 That's all it takes. That's how good you are. 259 00:09:54,909 --> 00:09:56,739 You did it. You brought me there. 260 00:09:56,768 --> 00:09:58,851 Whoo! Number one! 261 00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:01,142 - George Altman, you are number one!- Where are you going? 262 00:10:01,172 --> 00:10:03,457 To the kitchen to get you something to drink. 263 00:10:03,491 --> 00:10:05,491 ♪ Go, George, you did it 264 00:10:05,611 --> 00:10:07,516 ♪ who's the man? You're the man ♪ 265 00:10:07,532 --> 00:10:10,300 ♪ you did it, George Altman, uh-huh ♪ 266 00:10:12,271 --> 00:10:14,180 Lisa had the K.K.K. 267 00:10:14,211 --> 00:10:16,244 Eating out of the palm of her hand, 268 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:19,247 and Dalia Royce was sitting by herself? 269 00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:21,085 She was newly brunette, completely alone, 270 00:10:21,101 --> 00:10:23,126 and no one seemed to care but me. 271 00:10:23,246 --> 00:10:25,081 The whole thing was more unnatural 272 00:10:25,097 --> 00:10:27,420 than Mr. Wolfe's new colored contact lenses. 273 00:10:27,443 --> 00:10:29,664 Amethyst is my birthstone. 274 00:10:30,545 --> 00:10:31,728 Cool. 275 00:10:33,574 --> 00:10:35,568 If you don't want it, who wants it? 276 00:10:35,592 --> 00:10:36,827 I can't want it for you! 277 00:10:36,851 --> 00:10:38,618 Do you want it? Do you want it? 278 00:10:38,619 --> 00:10:39,448 I want it! 279 00:10:39,471 --> 00:10:40,754 I already got it, y'all! 280 00:10:40,769 --> 00:10:42,325 I got it from George Altman, 281 00:10:42,365 --> 00:10:44,170 night after day after night. 282 00:10:44,171 --> 00:10:45,164 Don't forget to hydrate. 283 00:10:45,165 --> 00:10:46,704 I'm already hydrated, y'all. 284 00:10:46,824 --> 00:10:49,019 You know who quenches my thirst? George Altman. 285 00:10:49,043 --> 00:10:52,093 Let me tell you, ladies, this man is large and in charge. 286 00:10:52,213 --> 00:10:53,993 If your legs moved as fast as your mouth... 287 00:10:54,024 --> 00:10:57,145 You know who takes it real slow until he speeds it up? 288 00:10:57,168 --> 00:10:58,224 George Altman. 289 00:10:58,344 --> 00:10:59,912 I mean, Wesley who? 290 00:10:59,913 --> 00:11:01,695 "White men can't what"? 291 00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:04,165 He does this trick whereby he... 292 00:11:04,199 --> 00:11:05,850 have y'all ever been to "Zumanity"? 293 00:11:05,884 --> 00:11:07,268 I have. 294 00:11:07,319 --> 00:11:08,685 It was incredible. 295 00:11:08,703 --> 00:11:10,377 Well, take that experience, 296 00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:12,590 multiply it by 20, divide it by 3, 297 00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,076 raise it to the tenth power, 298 00:11:14,077 --> 00:11:16,444 add 9 inches, subtract 2, and add back 1, 299 00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:17,930 and that's what George Altman gave me. 300 00:11:17,954 --> 00:11:20,745 I'm getting 36. But I haven't been to "Zumanity," so... 301 00:11:20,865 --> 00:11:23,166 Can it, Rhonda! 302 00:11:23,185 --> 00:11:25,086 Look here. 303 00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:28,739 Sealy, Simmons, and Posturepedic gave him a standing ovation. 304 00:11:28,958 --> 00:11:30,140 Y'all with me in the back? 305 00:11:30,175 --> 00:11:33,376 Sealy, Simmons, and Posturepedic. 306 00:11:33,384 --> 00:11:35,550 And she wasn't uncomfortable with them watching? 307 00:11:35,573 --> 00:11:37,473 Those are mattresses, Fred. 308 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:38,516 Oh. 309 00:11:38,550 --> 00:11:41,649 So they did it on a mattress. Hmm. 310 00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:43,804 Mental image uploaded. 311 00:11:43,838 --> 00:11:46,138 Mental image deleted. 312 00:11:46,154 --> 00:11:49,916 And then she gave him the finger... 313 00:11:49,971 --> 00:11:52,137 the number one foam finger. 314 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,688 I knew it. I never thought it was his lovemaking for a minute. 315 00:11:55,808 --> 00:11:57,338 It's the goatee. 316 00:11:57,353 --> 00:12:00,943 He took her to ecstasy with the whole choir watching. 317 00:12:01,063 --> 00:12:02,962 Huh. So I was wrong. 318 00:12:03,173 --> 00:12:05,715 I always assumed George was selfish in bed. 319 00:12:05,765 --> 00:12:07,249 Hey! There he is! 320 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,633 - Whoo! - Hello, hello, hello, hello. 321 00:12:09,665 --> 00:12:12,808 - What's all this? - Oh, we've heard about your sexploits, my friend. 322 00:12:12,928 --> 00:12:14,841 - My sexploits? - Bravo, George. 323 00:12:14,858 --> 00:12:16,381 Way to take care of business. 324 00:12:16,382 --> 00:12:17,524 Wh... what are you guys talking about? 325 00:12:17,547 --> 00:12:21,527 Well, apparently, you've been satisfying your lady love. 326 00:12:21,528 --> 00:12:23,890 Dallas has been running around telling everybody 327 00:12:23,905 --> 00:12:25,626 you are the president of pound town. 328 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,512 King of coitus! 329 00:12:28,632 --> 00:12:32,399 The Hitler of hittin' it! 330 00:12:32,993 --> 00:12:35,409 I had a good run going... you all saw... 331 00:12:35,410 --> 00:12:38,452 - and then Fred "Hitlers" it? - Sorry as soon as it came out of my mouth. 332 00:12:38,476 --> 00:12:41,127 Fred, it's okay. Look, I'm sorry to disappoint you guys, 333 00:12:41,158 --> 00:12:43,685 but I barely even touched her. 334 00:12:43,692 --> 00:12:46,125 I don't know, George, I just felt your touch. 335 00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:47,766 It's magnetic. 336 00:12:47,821 --> 00:12:50,598 George throws off a lot of sexual heat. He always has. 337 00:12:50,621 --> 00:12:52,866 Dallas keeps acting like this big thing is happening, 338 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:55,353 but I assure you, nothing is happening. 339 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,979 I don't know what's gotten into her. 340 00:12:57,183 --> 00:12:58,988 George Altman has. Am I right? 341 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,857 There it is! 342 00:13:00,865 --> 00:13:04,502 - Slap it. Do you see how he slapped that? - Javier. 343 00:13:05,073 --> 00:13:07,364 Look, I don't know what you're complaining about, George. 344 00:13:07,380 --> 00:13:10,593 I would pay Sheila money to praise my prowess, 345 00:13:10,992 --> 00:13:14,817 but I can't, because she won't let me have an A.T.M. card. 346 00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:18,516 Knock, knock. 347 00:13:18,636 --> 00:13:20,268 Hey. 348 00:13:20,291 --> 00:13:21,574 What are you doing here? 349 00:13:21,694 --> 00:13:24,765 I just noticed that you were, uh, 350 00:13:24,885 --> 00:13:26,423 eating lunch alone today, 351 00:13:26,455 --> 00:13:28,355 and then I heard you left school early, 352 00:13:28,582 --> 00:13:31,647 and I know this may seem like a weird question coming from me, 353 00:13:31,665 --> 00:13:33,007 but... everything okay? 354 00:13:33,008 --> 00:13:34,829 Totes. I just came home early 355 00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:37,151 to get ready for my video chat with Wan'er. 356 00:13:37,152 --> 00:13:39,349 Okay, great. It just seemed like 357 00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:40,914 you were going through something, you know, 358 00:13:41,141 --> 00:13:42,531 with the dark hair and... 359 00:13:42,532 --> 00:13:44,497 Yeah, I wan'ered it for the wedding. 360 00:13:44,536 --> 00:13:46,076 I'm gonna be maid of honor. 361 00:13:46,196 --> 00:13:48,782 They don't do any cleaning. I checked. 362 00:13:48,902 --> 00:13:50,393 Okay. Phew. 363 00:13:50,777 --> 00:13:53,223 Guess I was just worried about nothing then. 364 00:13:53,224 --> 00:13:55,104 Could you worry about getting out of my room? 365 00:13:55,139 --> 00:13:57,008 I kinda need to take this. 366 00:14:02,601 --> 00:14:04,030 Ni hao! 367 00:14:04,031 --> 00:14:07,467 Hey, Wan'er. I dyed my hair to look like your hair. 368 00:14:07,518 --> 00:14:09,554 Don't you think my hair looks like your hair, Wan'er? 369 00:14:10,946 --> 00:14:14,598 I know. Me, too. I'm really excited for the wedding. 370 00:14:18,931 --> 00:14:21,144 Wan'er, no. 371 00:14:21,176 --> 00:14:23,279 You're not supposed to wear that before the wedding. 372 00:14:31,108 --> 00:14:33,392 You're already married? 373 00:14:34,044 --> 00:14:35,925 You eloped without me? 374 00:14:41,242 --> 00:14:42,674 Okay. Bye-bye! 375 00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,550 Well, tell daddy I say hi... 376 00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:53,229 Oh, hey, Dalia. 377 00:14:53,263 --> 00:14:55,444 Uh, so... so I was just in the middle 378 00:14:55,445 --> 00:14:57,189 of this pretty intense kettlebell workout here, 379 00:14:57,235 --> 00:14:59,934 when I saw you were online, so I figured 380 00:15:00,054 --> 00:15:01,639 I'd, you know, like, circle back around, 381 00:15:01,759 --> 00:15:05,519 and just see if you magically changed your mind. 382 00:15:05,894 --> 00:15:07,529 Actually, I did change my mind. 383 00:15:07,575 --> 00:15:08,451 Really? 384 00:15:08,452 --> 00:15:09,570 Ow! 385 00:15:09,836 --> 00:15:12,260 I want you to make me disappear. 386 00:15:12,275 --> 00:15:15,451 Sweet! I'm... I'm gonna get my foot looked at, 387 00:15:15,452 --> 00:15:17,869 and then we'll do that. I'm so excited. 388 00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:20,416 I mean, you know what she's doing, right? 389 00:15:20,536 --> 00:15:22,340 She's committing social suicide. 390 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,084 Because she wants to do magic with Evan? 391 00:15:24,108 --> 00:15:26,962 Lisa, if you look up "rock bottom" in the dictionary, 392 00:15:26,978 --> 00:15:28,245 there's a picture of Evan in a top hat. 393 00:15:28,246 --> 00:15:30,051 Okay, I just... I don't understand 394 00:15:30,052 --> 00:15:31,960 why you're so concerned about Dalia. 395 00:15:32,072 --> 00:15:33,649 She wouldn't be worrying about you. 396 00:15:33,650 --> 00:15:36,494 Look, our parents are dating now. I feel responsible for her. 397 00:15:36,605 --> 00:15:38,983 I just... I have to do something 398 00:15:39,103 --> 00:15:41,369 before Evan... feels her up. 399 00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,854 Okay, well, while you're in there, 400 00:15:42,870 --> 00:15:45,576 would you please tell her to take back the K.K.K.? 401 00:15:45,983 --> 00:15:49,197 Yesterday, one of them had an accident on my bedspread. 402 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,478 Voila! A student has appeared. 403 00:15:55,493 --> 00:15:57,034 Uh, sorry to bother you, Mr. Jacobs, 404 00:15:57,035 --> 00:16:00,123 but this is kind of urgent. Where's Dalia Royce? 405 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,941 Is this the Dalia Royce you're looking for? 406 00:16:03,976 --> 00:16:06,427 No. That's a Jack of clubs. 407 00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:08,460 My! How did it get there? 408 00:16:08,580 --> 00:16:10,423 Could you please tell me where Dalia Royce is? 409 00:16:10,438 --> 00:16:13,324 Oh, certainly. She's, uh, right here in my pocket. 410 00:16:13,744 --> 00:16:16,146 Go on. Say hello. 411 00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:18,832 Whoa. Look at that. 412 00:16:18,866 --> 00:16:20,333 Lots of scarves. 413 00:16:20,384 --> 00:16:21,334 Amazing. 414 00:16:21,369 --> 00:16:23,069 Amazing... 415 00:16:23,137 --> 00:16:24,537 Or magic? 416 00:16:24,589 --> 00:16:26,331 Actually, neither. 417 00:16:26,339 --> 00:16:29,326 Hey, Tessa. Evan signed out the practice room. 418 00:16:29,327 --> 00:16:30,477 Bye, Mr. Jacobs. 419 00:16:30,484 --> 00:16:33,057 Did I freak your mind? 420 00:16:35,263 --> 00:16:38,438 I sure am loving these surprise visits, George Altman. 421 00:16:38,469 --> 00:16:40,245 Which wall are you gonna pin me to this time? 422 00:16:40,246 --> 00:16:42,362 No. No. No walls, Dallas. 423 00:16:42,363 --> 00:16:45,797 We need to talk. This isn't easy for me to bring up. 424 00:16:45,828 --> 00:16:47,793 It's about our sex life. 425 00:16:47,828 --> 00:16:49,534 Whoa. 426 00:16:49,535 --> 00:16:51,203 Whoa. 427 00:16:51,256 --> 00:16:52,006 - Whoa! - No, Dallas. 428 00:16:52,030 --> 00:16:53,273 Don't do that. At ease. 429 00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,853 I can't help it, George. 430 00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:57,403 You just get me so worked up and so forth. 431 00:16:57,523 --> 00:17:00,273 I just want it so bad and so on. 432 00:17:00,304 --> 00:17:01,235 Babe... 433 00:17:01,289 --> 00:17:04,543 and I... I mean this in the nicest possible way... 434 00:17:05,497 --> 00:17:07,429 drop the act. 435 00:17:07,447 --> 00:17:09,331 I beg your pardon. 436 00:17:09,366 --> 00:17:11,637 Well, that was hardly the reaction I was hoping for. 437 00:17:11,668 --> 00:17:14,343 I mean, when I saw "Zumanity," the crowd went wild with... 438 00:17:14,354 --> 00:17:15,638 I don't want the circus. 439 00:17:15,672 --> 00:17:17,506 I just want you. 440 00:17:18,658 --> 00:17:20,426 I want us. 441 00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:24,313 Well, I guess there's gonna be a learning curve then. 442 00:17:24,331 --> 00:17:25,631 For both of us. 443 00:17:26,402 --> 00:17:28,357 And I... I get what you're trying to do, 444 00:17:28,373 --> 00:17:30,867 but honestly, I don't... I don't need you 445 00:17:30,987 --> 00:17:32,980 pretending you're on a roller coaster... 446 00:17:33,034 --> 00:17:35,725 or running around town telling everyone 447 00:17:35,748 --> 00:17:38,790 I'm some kind of a... sexual superman. 448 00:17:40,230 --> 00:17:42,990 I just thought that's what men wanted... 449 00:17:43,013 --> 00:17:44,631 to feel like they were number one. 450 00:17:44,632 --> 00:17:46,900 - I thought all guys... - I'm not all guys. 451 00:17:47,565 --> 00:17:49,113 I'm George Altman. 452 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,335 And I think sexual partners should focus 453 00:17:52,336 --> 00:17:54,455 on closeness, not costumes, 454 00:17:54,503 --> 00:17:56,951 intimacy, not "Zumanity," 455 00:17:57,264 --> 00:18:00,681 and just because we're spooning doesn't necessarily mean 456 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,535 we need someone playing the spoons. 457 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:06,828 I just want us to connect. 458 00:18:07,375 --> 00:18:09,260 Connect. Yeah. 459 00:18:09,275 --> 00:18:11,090 I'm not sure I know how to do that. 460 00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:13,162 Maybe I'll show you sometime. 461 00:18:14,101 --> 00:18:16,509 Ladies and gentlemen, 462 00:18:16,525 --> 00:18:18,887 behold... the kissing kugel. 463 00:18:21,163 --> 00:18:24,111 You'll notice one slice is missing 464 00:18:24,126 --> 00:18:26,246 from this delicious tray of kosher kugel. 465 00:18:26,621 --> 00:18:28,905 Don't tell me my cousin Aaron ate it. 466 00:18:29,406 --> 00:18:30,978 Hold for laughter. 467 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,492 I will now give my beautiful assistant 468 00:18:37,539 --> 00:18:38,718 a kiss on the lips 469 00:18:38,719 --> 00:18:40,596 and make the kugel appear in her mouth, 470 00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:43,099 which you can see is empty. 471 00:18:43,130 --> 00:18:45,789 Dalia, no! The kugel is a gateway kugel. 472 00:18:45,805 --> 00:18:47,313 Immobulus! 473 00:18:47,364 --> 00:18:49,574 Dalia, I know you're hurting, okay? 474 00:18:49,613 --> 00:18:53,398 I know that Wan'er isn't really your B.F.F. 475 00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:56,033 And I know you're not gonna be the maid of honor 476 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:57,910 - at their wedding. - They eloped without me. 477 00:18:57,986 --> 00:18:59,380 I know. 478 00:18:59,677 --> 00:19:02,375 I'm sorry, but... 479 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,930 Evan is not the answer. 480 00:19:04,965 --> 00:19:08,134 If daddy and Wan'er don't want me 481 00:19:08,185 --> 00:19:10,350 and mommy's with that greasy hobo, 482 00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:13,639 then maybe my place is here, with Evan. 483 00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:15,474 He's a mensch. 484 00:19:15,525 --> 00:19:18,260 We're probably gonna elope ourselves one day. 485 00:19:18,278 --> 00:19:20,464 Uh, no. I... I can't do that. 486 00:19:20,496 --> 00:19:23,256 - My safta would have a conniption. - What are you trying to say, Evan? 487 00:19:23,264 --> 00:19:25,657 I fully expected Dalia would trample Evan's heart. 488 00:19:25,777 --> 00:19:27,479 That's the natural order. 489 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,168 It never occurred to me 490 00:19:29,191 --> 00:19:31,162 that Evan would be the one to hurt Dalia. 491 00:19:31,201 --> 00:19:33,664 Look, cookie, we had fun. There's no denying it. 492 00:19:33,784 --> 00:19:35,620 Laughs galore. That's what I bring to the table. 493 00:19:35,635 --> 00:19:37,567 But long-term, this just wouldn't work. 494 00:19:37,833 --> 00:19:39,209 Why not? 495 00:19:39,452 --> 00:19:41,744 Well, because you're a shiksa! 496 00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:42,924 And you're a loser. 497 00:19:42,940 --> 00:19:44,534 Yep, my work here was done. 498 00:19:44,535 --> 00:19:45,818 I'm an amateur magician, 499 00:19:45,857 --> 00:19:47,673 and I've been practicing for so long. 500 00:19:51,985 --> 00:19:54,112 Okay, now, honestly, 501 00:19:54,232 --> 00:19:56,285 how was it? 502 00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:59,868 You know, it wasn't bad. It was pretty decent. 503 00:20:00,877 --> 00:20:01,917 Right. 504 00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:03,629 Exactly right. 505 00:20:03,965 --> 00:20:06,671 Pretty decent... that's me. That's what I do. 506 00:20:09,777 --> 00:20:12,256 Seriously, though. How was it? 507 00:20:13,210 --> 00:20:15,025 You're number one, George! 508 00:20:15,822 --> 00:20:17,454 You are number one! 509 00:20:17,574 --> 00:20:19,427 You know what? I take it back. 510 00:20:19,547 --> 00:20:22,517 It adds something. It really does. 511 00:20:23,604 --> 00:20:24,886 There. 512 00:20:24,887 --> 00:20:26,654 Now you look like yourself again. 513 00:20:26,774 --> 00:20:30,205 Yeah. I feel like myself again, too. 514 00:20:30,972 --> 00:20:33,748 And myself wants you to get the "H" out of my "R." 515 00:20:33,998 --> 00:20:39,144 As I got the "H" out of her "R," I couldn't help but smile. 516 00:20:39,264 --> 00:20:42,101 It was sort of nice to have Dalia back to normal. 517 00:21:18,592 --> 00:21:21,822 Baruch atah adonai 518 00:21:21,861 --> 00:21:23,332 eloheinu 519 00:21:23,363 --> 00:21:25,342 melech ha-olam 520 00:21:25,462 --> 00:21:27,305 Asher bahar banu... 521 00:21:27,758 --> 00:21:34,914 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -