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Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
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00:00:04,997 --> 00:00:08,765
Welcome to Sheldon Cooper
Presents: Fun with Flags.
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00:00:10,335 --> 00:00:13,203
Before we get started,
I'd like to announce
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00:00:13,205 --> 00:00:16,106
the winner of our design
your own flag competition.
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00:00:16,108 --> 00:00:18,275
But I can't.
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00:00:18,277 --> 00:00:20,944
The only entry
was from GameyGamer75,
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00:00:20,946 --> 00:00:24,882
and I know that was a jpeg
of your buttocks.
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00:00:24,884 --> 00:00:27,251
Now this week we have
a very special episode
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00:00:27,253 --> 00:00:28,919
where we explore the flags
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00:00:28,921 --> 00:00:32,222
of the popular entertainment
franchise, Star Trek.
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And to help me,
I'm pleased to introduce
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Internet personality,
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former star of Star Trek:
The Next Generation,
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and the only guy I know lucky
enough to be immortalized
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00:00:42,535 --> 00:00:47,638
in 1/16 scale--
set phasers to "fun"...
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...for my friend, Wil Wheaton.
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Hi, Sheldon.
Thanks for having me.
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00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:57,080
I'm happy to be here.
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00:00:57,082 --> 00:00:58,599
Cut.
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00:00:58,601 --> 00:00:59,700
What's wrong?
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Sorry, Sheldon, you were
brilliant as always.
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00:01:01,971 --> 00:01:04,755
Wil, that was
a little wooden.
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00:01:04,757 --> 00:01:07,307
Wooden?
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00:01:07,309 --> 00:01:08,642
Don't worry,
it wasn't terrible.
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Just, this time, try to say it
the way people sound.
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And action.
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00:01:15,818 --> 00:01:18,151
My friend, Wil Wheaton.
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Hi, Sheldon.
Thanks for having me.
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I'm excited to be here.
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So, Wil, what do you
have for us first?
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Well, this is
an exciting one.
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This is the flag of the
United Federation of Planets.
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Now what's interesting about this flag...
Cut.
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00:01:31,332 --> 00:01:32,749
What was wrong with that?
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00:01:32,751 --> 00:01:35,335
It's called "Fun with Flags."
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They're not at half-mast,
nobody died.
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Let's try and keep it upbeat.
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Um, no offense,
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but I've been acting
since I was a kid.
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I think I can
handle a Web show
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without a lot
of direction.
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00:01:46,849 --> 00:01:48,098
It's true.
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00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:49,633
In 1982, Wil
played the voice
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of Martin the mouse
in The Secret of NIMH.
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You moved me.
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You'll have to forgive me.
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This is my first time directing,
I just want it to be good.
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00:02:00,079 --> 00:02:01,478
So do I.
49
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,363
Great. So, this time let's try
50
00:02:03,365 --> 00:02:05,165
more real boy, less Pinocchio.
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00:02:06,868 --> 00:02:07,918
And action.
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00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,303
And cut.
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00:02:10,288 --> 00:02:12,422
You realize that I'm doing this
for free, right?
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Yes. And so far, we're still
not getting our money's worth.
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Let's try it again.
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Everybody's having fun.
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And action.
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So, Wil...
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00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:37,080
...what do you have
for us first?
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00:02:37,082 --> 00:02:41,318
Well, this is
an exciting one.
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00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:42,886
This is the flag
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00:02:42,888 --> 00:02:44,888
of the United
Federation of Planets.
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Cut.
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Problem,
first-time director?
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Oh, none that I could see.
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I saw a man who loved flags
almost as much as I do.
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I got goose bumps.
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He was overacting on purpose.
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Really?
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He reminded me of a
young William Shatner.
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Listen, Sheldon,
I'm really happy
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00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,976
to do this for you,
but not if she's gonna be
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a huge pain in the ass
the whole time.
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00:03:08,963 --> 00:03:11,098
You gonna let him
speak to me like that?
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Well...
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00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:16,720
you're my girlfriend
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and I don't want
you to be upset.
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00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,323
Then again,
Wil Wheaton's my friend
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and I don't want
him to be upset.
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Hmm...
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This is a sticky wicket.
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What do you think?
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Can I speak to you
for a second?
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I'll be right back.
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00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:36,423
Feel free to play
with yourself.
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00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:46,249
I don't care for your friend,
he's being rude to me.
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You need to ask him to leave.
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Amy, I can't just ask
Wil Wheaton to leave.
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He's a minor celebrity.
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Once you explain who he is,
many people recognize him.
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Fine. Then maybe I should go.
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00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,865
Could you?
That would solve everything.
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00:04:03,084 --> 00:04:05,535
You are the best.
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00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:07,370
I'll see you at dinner tonight?
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00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,039
You sure you wouldn't rather
have dinner
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00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:10,240
with your friend Wil Wheaton?
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Come to think of it, I would!
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You, little lady, are on fire.
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
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00:04:20,786 --> 00:04:24,421
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
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00:04:24,423 --> 00:04:26,139
♪ The Earth began to cool
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00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:28,842
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
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00:04:28,844 --> 00:04:31,244
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
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00:04:31,246 --> 00:04:33,713
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
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♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
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♪ Bang! ♪
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♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x07 ♪
The Habitation Configuration
Original Air Date on November 8, 2012
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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Every time we eat
dinner here,
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00:04:48,183 --> 00:04:50,266
your mother refuses to let me
help with the dishes.
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00:04:50,268 --> 00:04:52,969
Don't take it personally.
She likes doing them by herself
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so she can lick the plates
with no one looking.
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You ready to go?
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Yeah, let me just grab a couple
of fresh turtlenecks.
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I don't understand
why you keep your stuff here
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when there's plenty
of room at home.
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What are you
talking about?
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00:05:07,335 --> 00:05:10,169
All I have here
is a few sweaters,
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00:05:10,171 --> 00:05:12,989
books, bank stuff,
computers,
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00:05:12,991 --> 00:05:15,458
mail, collectibles, medicine
and my electric body groomer.
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00:05:16,627 --> 00:05:19,579
Ooh, there's my plaid dickie.
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Oh, got this at the Goodwill
store for 50 cents.
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Can you believe it?
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50 cents sounds right.
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Let's go.
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You know, it's kinda late.
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Why don't we just spend
the night here?
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Because we don't live here.
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I know.
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Do you? You said when you got
back from space
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you were gonna move into
my apartment,
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but half the time we stay here.
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That's not true.
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Howard, I'm doing laundry!
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You want me to put
anything in for you?!
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There's some underwear
in the hamper!
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Oh, good! I got that new
stain stick to try out!
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Thank you! I only put it
on the list two weeks ago!
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Okay, I see what
you're getting at.
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How about this weekend
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I'll box up all my things
and move them to our place.
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Thank you.
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The lightsabers are gonna
look great in the living room.
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Or in the closet.
We can decide later.
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Howard, help!
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My hand's stuck
in the garbage disposal!
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Let go of whatever piece of food
you're holding!
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Are you kidding?!
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00:06:31,953 --> 00:06:35,388
It's a perfectly good
chicken leg!
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00:06:38,375 --> 00:06:40,626
Hey, look who's out
after dark, like a big boy.
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00:06:40,628 --> 00:06:44,380
I was out raising heck
with Mr. Wil Wheaton.
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Four hours more
and we would have
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00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,051
closed down the
HomeTown Buffet.
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I thought you had plans
with Amy.
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Yeah, I did, but then Wil called
Amy a pain in the A-S-S.
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She got huffy and left,
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then Wil and I headed out
to dinner.
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That place really did remind me
of my hometown.
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00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:06,085
Because there we also have
a HomeTown Buffet.
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Hold on.
Wil and Amy had an argument?
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Yes, quite the kerfuffle.
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Then Amy got mad and left?
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Walked right out the door.
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And you...?
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Enjoyed a delightful dinner
at a reasonable price.
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The manager recognized Wil
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and let us sit right next
to the frozen yogurt machine.
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Right next to it!
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I was closer to it than
I am to you right now.
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Buddy, I think Amy
might be upset.
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Why's that?
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Because your friend
was rude to her,
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and then you went
to dinner with him.
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You're just repeating
what I said.
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It's like living with
a lactose-intolerant parrot.
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Trust me, call her.
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Fine. It's a shame you didn't
go to dinner with us,
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because the buffet
you're about to enjoy
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only serves humble pie,
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a dessert much less tasty
than frozen yogurt.
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I was this close.
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00:08:06,914 --> 00:08:09,649
What?
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00:08:09,651 --> 00:08:11,150
You'll appreciate this.
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00:08:11,152 --> 00:08:13,719
Leonard has some ridiculous
notion that you're mad at me.
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00:08:13,721 --> 00:08:15,504
Tell him you're
not mad at me.
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Go ahead, set
him straight.
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I'm mad at you, Sheldon.
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Hmm. Eat one of
your Luna bars.
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00:08:24,481 --> 00:08:26,449
Very often when women
think they're angry,
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00:08:26,451 --> 00:08:28,818
they're really just hungry.
191
00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:31,370
I'm not hungry.
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00:08:32,439 --> 00:08:34,373
Your friend insulted me,
and you didn't do anything.
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00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:39,111
Precisely, I didn't
do anything.
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00:08:39,113 --> 00:08:42,231
Now does someone feel like
checking her emotional math?
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Keep going, buddy,
you're doing great.
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00:08:45,453 --> 00:08:47,036
Sheldon, I'm your girlfriend,
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00:08:47,038 --> 00:08:48,921
and you should have
taken my side.
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That's it. End of story.
Good night.
199
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:58,097
Wow, Amy's mad
and Leonard was right.
200
00:08:58,099 --> 00:09:00,800
What a weird day.
201
00:09:03,053 --> 00:09:04,753
Hey. Sorry this took so long.
202
00:09:04,755 --> 00:09:07,390
But you used to work here,
you know how it is.
203
00:09:07,392 --> 00:09:09,058
Kitchen slammed again?
204
00:09:09,060 --> 00:09:11,811
No, I'm a terrible waitress,
remember?
205
00:09:13,113 --> 00:09:14,263
So, is there anything I can do
206
00:09:14,265 --> 00:09:15,597
to help you with the move
tomorrow?
207
00:09:15,599 --> 00:09:16,866
Now that you mention it,
208
00:09:16,868 --> 00:09:19,985
I was thinking tomorrow
might not be great.
209
00:09:19,987 --> 00:09:22,238
What's your excuse this time?
210
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,958
No excuse. It's just, you know,
I'm Jewish, and technically,
211
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,494
we're not supposed to drive or
carry anything on the Sabbath.
212
00:09:28,496 --> 00:09:31,881
So this one's on God.
213
00:09:31,883 --> 00:09:33,282
That might be
a little more convincing
214
00:09:33,284 --> 00:09:36,268
if you didn't have a mouthful
of bacon cheeseburger.
215
00:09:36,270 --> 00:09:39,455
My religion's kinda
loosey-goosey.
216
00:09:39,457 --> 00:09:41,640
Basically, as long as you got
your schmekel clipped
217
00:09:41,642 --> 00:09:43,743
and don't wear a cross,
you're good.
218
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:47,596
Howie, you promised you'd move.
219
00:09:47,598 --> 00:09:48,848
And I will.
220
00:09:48,850 --> 00:09:50,182
Yeah, right.
221
00:09:50,184 --> 00:09:52,651
I will. I'm obviously not going
to live in my mother's house
222
00:09:52,653 --> 00:09:55,321
for the rest of my life.
I'm not a child.
223
00:09:55,323 --> 00:09:58,624
I've seen her burp you.
224
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,061
She did not burp me.
225
00:10:02,063 --> 00:10:05,631
She was patting me on the back,
and I happened to burp.
226
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:10,319
Don't you have other tables
you should be waiting on?
227
00:10:10,321 --> 00:10:13,422
Yeah, but I told you,
I'm not good at my job.
228
00:10:13,424 --> 00:10:14,507
Bernadette,
listen to me.
229
00:10:14,509 --> 00:10:15,624
He is never gonna leave.
230
00:10:15,626 --> 00:10:17,626
I'm starting to think
you're right.
231
00:10:17,628 --> 00:10:19,295
All right,
I've had enough of this.
232
00:10:19,297 --> 00:10:21,881
I'm a grown man,
I have a successful career.
233
00:10:21,883 --> 00:10:24,433
For the love of God,
I've been to space!
234
00:10:24,435 --> 00:10:26,051
I will move out when I'm ready,
235
00:10:26,053 --> 00:10:28,387
and I don't need anyone
badgering me into it!
236
00:10:28,389 --> 00:10:32,007
Wow, excuse me.
237
00:10:32,842 --> 00:10:34,510
That was just for her benefit.
238
00:10:34,512 --> 00:10:36,479
I'll move tomorrow. I love you.
Don't leave me.
239
00:10:41,318 --> 00:10:43,185
Amy.
240
00:10:43,187 --> 00:10:45,187
Amy.
241
00:10:45,189 --> 00:10:47,573
Angry Amy.
242
00:10:47,575 --> 00:10:49,792
What?
243
00:10:49,794 --> 00:10:52,244
I've been thinking about
what happened,
244
00:10:52,246 --> 00:10:54,497
and I hope this gift
245
00:10:54,499 --> 00:10:56,582
will make things better.
246
00:10:58,385 --> 00:11:01,637
Star Trek DVDs?
247
00:11:01,639 --> 00:11:02,888
Why would I want this?
248
00:11:02,890 --> 00:11:05,090
First of all, you're welcome.
249
00:11:06,092 --> 00:11:08,043
Furthermore, not being familiar
250
00:11:08,045 --> 00:11:09,478
with Wil Wheaton's body of work,
251
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,063
there was no way for you to know
252
00:11:11,065 --> 00:11:12,932
you were being rude
to a national treasure.
253
00:11:14,267 --> 00:11:17,703
Get ready for 130 hours
of "I told you so."
254
00:11:21,174 --> 00:11:22,741
Fine.
255
00:11:22,743 --> 00:11:25,394
I'll just tell you what happens.
256
00:11:25,396 --> 00:11:28,397
Episode one,
"Encounter at Farpoint."
257
00:11:28,399 --> 00:11:29,698
Fade in.
258
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:32,585
The new Enterprise heads out
on its maiden voyage
259
00:11:32,587 --> 00:11:35,287
to contact the Bandi people
of Deneb IV.
260
00:11:35,289 --> 00:11:38,374
Enter Wesley Crusher,
played by my buddy...
261
00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:45,181
She's hooked.
262
00:11:56,909 --> 00:11:57,943
Wow.
263
00:11:57,944 --> 00:11:59,693
An end of an era.
264
00:12:00,863 --> 00:12:04,715
Boy, if these walls could talk.
265
00:12:04,717 --> 00:12:08,336
They'd say, "Why does he
touch himself so much?"
266
00:12:12,925 --> 00:12:14,642
Yeah.
267
00:12:16,979 --> 00:12:20,248
I can't believe I'm not going
to live here anymore.
268
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:23,601
This has always been my bedroom.
269
00:12:23,603 --> 00:12:27,021
Right here is where my mom
used to mark my height.
270
00:12:27,023 --> 00:12:28,722
Oh, yeah.
271
00:12:28,724 --> 00:12:30,141
Fifth grade.
272
00:12:30,143 --> 00:12:31,576
Sixth grade.
273
00:12:31,578 --> 00:12:32,860
Seventh grade.
274
00:12:32,862 --> 00:12:33,995
Eighth grade.
275
00:12:33,997 --> 00:12:36,330
Ninth grade.
276
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,534
I remember when I was five,
277
00:12:39,536 --> 00:12:43,538
hiding under this desk
with all my Halloween candy.
278
00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:44,905
Had some Peanut M&M'S,
279
00:12:44,907 --> 00:12:48,092
went into my first
anaphylactic shock
280
00:12:48,094 --> 00:12:51,796
and had to be rushed
to the hospital.
281
00:12:51,798 --> 00:12:53,798
Came home,
celebrated with a Snickers,
282
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,716
went into my second
anaphylactic shock.
283
00:12:56,835 --> 00:12:59,887
When did you figure out
you were allergic to nuts?
284
00:12:59,889 --> 00:13:02,056
Sometime
around the third Almond Joy.
285
00:13:03,058 --> 00:13:04,425
Okay.
286
00:13:04,427 --> 00:13:06,561
You want to start loading
this stuff into the truck?
287
00:13:06,563 --> 00:13:08,262
Yeah, I guess.
288
00:13:08,264 --> 00:13:10,498
Hey, would you do me a favor?
289
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:11,732
Go on ahead.
290
00:13:11,734 --> 00:13:16,270
I just want one last moment
alone in my old room.
291
00:13:16,272 --> 00:13:18,289
We're not standing outside
by the U-Haul
292
00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:20,458
while you fondle yourself.
293
00:13:22,629 --> 00:13:24,545
Fine, let's go.
294
00:13:31,053 --> 00:13:32,336
Hey.
295
00:13:32,338 --> 00:13:33,921
What brings you in?
296
00:13:33,923 --> 00:13:35,640
Penny, if you wouldn't mind,
297
00:13:35,642 --> 00:13:39,644
I'd like to have a conversation
about girls.
298
00:13:39,646 --> 00:13:43,197
I had a feeling we'd have a
talk like this sooner or later.
299
00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:48,302
Are you finally getting
fuzz in weird places?
300
00:13:48,304 --> 00:13:49,803
Penny, please,
301
00:13:49,805 --> 00:13:52,006
I'm on the horns
of a relationship dilemma.
302
00:13:52,008 --> 00:13:54,325
And for the record,
I had a full pubis of hair
303
00:13:54,327 --> 00:13:56,944
by the time I was 19.
304
00:13:56,946 --> 00:13:59,163
And for the record...
305
00:14:02,401 --> 00:14:03,784
So what are you drinking?
306
00:14:03,786 --> 00:14:05,536
Well, it's been a rough day.
307
00:14:05,538 --> 00:14:06,987
I usually go chamomile tea,
308
00:14:06,989 --> 00:14:08,856
but I don't think
that's going to cut it.
309
00:14:08,858 --> 00:14:12,076
You could have a
Long Island Iced Tea.
310
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:18,366
Will that calm my nerves?
311
00:14:18,368 --> 00:14:21,969
It's calmed the pants
off me a couple of times.
312
00:14:21,971 --> 00:14:23,621
Sold.
313
00:14:23,623 --> 00:14:26,474
Oh.
314
00:14:26,476 --> 00:14:29,877
So, the heart you got from
the wizard giving you trouble?
315
00:14:29,879 --> 00:14:31,845
The trouble isn't with me,
Penny,
316
00:14:31,847 --> 00:14:33,364
it's with your gender.
317
00:14:33,366 --> 00:14:34,782
Someday,
scientists will discover
318
00:14:34,784 --> 00:14:36,784
that second X chromosome
contains nothing
319
00:14:36,786 --> 00:14:39,503
but nonsense and twaddle.
320
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:41,656
Yeah, Amy told me what happened.
321
00:14:41,658 --> 00:14:43,040
Look, just apologize.
322
00:14:43,042 --> 00:14:44,659
It'll warm her twaddle.
323
00:14:46,162 --> 00:14:47,878
It's a Band-Aid at best.
324
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,582
The core problem is that Amy
and Wil do not like each other.
325
00:14:51,584 --> 00:14:55,336
Which is baffling because
they're both crazy about me.
326
00:14:56,488 --> 00:14:57,705
And I like them,
327
00:14:57,707 --> 00:14:59,840
which indicates
they're bright and interesting
328
00:14:59,842 --> 00:15:02,426
and/or were on Star Trek.
329
00:15:02,428 --> 00:15:05,546
Honey, you can't make
people like each other.
330
00:15:05,548 --> 00:15:06,897
Not true.
331
00:15:06,899 --> 00:15:08,599
Leonard made me like you.
332
00:15:08,601 --> 00:15:11,569
And let me tell you,
that was a hard row to hoe.
333
00:15:12,821 --> 00:15:15,022
Cheers, pal.
334
00:15:16,692 --> 00:15:18,225
Ooh.
335
00:15:18,227 --> 00:15:22,079
Boy, that is a treat
that's hard to beat.
336
00:15:23,348 --> 00:15:26,567
Get the Mad Hatter on the horn,
I'm having a tea party.
337
00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:33,841
You might want to pace yourself.
338
00:15:33,843 --> 00:15:35,876
I drink tea all the time.
339
00:15:35,878 --> 00:15:38,546
I think I know what I'm doing.
340
00:15:38,548 --> 00:15:42,383
Far be it from me to criticize
a man with a full pubis.
341
00:15:43,952 --> 00:15:46,754
Look, Sheldon, your problem
is not Wil Wheaton, okay?
342
00:15:46,756 --> 00:15:48,539
Your problem is the way
you treated Amy.
343
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:51,776
My problem is I'm out of tea.
344
00:15:53,094 --> 00:15:54,779
Come on, someone insulted
345
00:15:54,781 --> 00:15:56,731
your girlfriend and
you just let him do it.
346
00:15:56,733 --> 00:15:59,283
I thought you Texas guys
stood up for your womenfolk.
347
00:15:59,285 --> 00:16:01,202
Penny, please,
348
00:16:01,204 --> 00:16:04,388
I think I've evolved beyond
my simple rustic upbringing.
349
00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:06,106
Sorry.
350
00:16:06,108 --> 00:16:09,343
On the other hand, that low-down
polecat done wronged my woman.
351
00:16:12,748 --> 00:16:14,915
Welcome to Long Island, Tex.
352
00:16:16,551 --> 00:16:18,669
Amy deserves better.
353
00:16:18,671 --> 00:16:21,338
You know, when we buy
the Planter's deluxe mix,
354
00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:24,892
she eats all the Brazil nuts
so I don't have to look at them.
355
00:16:26,094 --> 00:16:29,830
She's a unique blend
of saint and squirrel.
356
00:16:29,832 --> 00:16:31,632
Yeah, that she is.
357
00:16:31,634 --> 00:16:32,616
Here you go.
358
00:16:32,618 --> 00:16:34,518
I'm a callous egomaniac.
359
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,303
She's gonna leave me.
360
00:16:36,305 --> 00:16:37,421
No, she won't.
361
00:16:37,423 --> 00:16:39,640
No, she won't. I'm great.
362
00:16:50,702 --> 00:16:52,953
Okay, I have now
363
00:16:52,955 --> 00:16:55,506
officially moved
out of my mother's house.
364
00:16:55,508 --> 00:16:57,541
You are now the only woman
in my life
365
00:16:57,543 --> 00:16:59,810
who I'll see naked
in the bathroom.
366
00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:02,129
I know this wasn't easy.
367
00:17:02,131 --> 00:17:03,414
You doing okay?
368
00:17:03,416 --> 00:17:04,998
Oh, I'm fine.
369
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,851
It's just her I'm worried about.
370
00:17:06,853 --> 00:17:08,636
Aw, she'll be okay.
371
00:17:08,638 --> 00:17:10,588
She's a grown woman.
I know.
372
00:17:10,590 --> 00:17:12,673
It's just
ever since my dad left,
373
00:17:12,675 --> 00:17:15,142
I've felt responsible for her.
374
00:17:15,144 --> 00:17:17,728
That's a lot for a
kid to deal with.
375
00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:20,831
She was just so sad
all the time.
376
00:17:20,833 --> 00:17:24,068
Yeah, I was the only person
who could cheer her up.
377
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:26,470
Well, me and Ben and Jerry.
378
00:17:26,472 --> 00:17:30,124
She's lucky you were there.
379
00:17:31,910 --> 00:17:34,962
You know, she's why
I first got into magic.
380
00:17:34,964 --> 00:17:36,714
I would do little shows
for her,
381
00:17:36,716 --> 00:17:40,417
hang up a bedsheet
like it was a curtain,
382
00:17:40,419 --> 00:17:42,753
put on a top hat and cape.
383
00:17:42,755 --> 00:17:44,171
And part way through the act,
384
00:17:44,173 --> 00:17:47,925
I would say I needed a volunteer
from the audience
385
00:17:47,927 --> 00:17:50,711
to be my beautiful assistant
386
00:17:50,713 --> 00:17:53,481
and invite her up on stage.
387
00:17:53,483 --> 00:17:57,217
I can still remember
the way she'd smile.
388
00:17:57,219 --> 00:17:59,904
For a few minutes,
she'd...
389
00:17:59,906 --> 00:18:02,773
forget how lonely she was.
390
00:18:04,410 --> 00:18:06,327
Aw, crap.
391
00:18:06,329 --> 00:18:08,045
Let's go.
392
00:18:08,047 --> 00:18:10,230
Where we going?
393
00:18:10,232 --> 00:18:11,499
Grab a box.
394
00:18:11,501 --> 00:18:13,334
We'll sleep
at your mother's place tonight.
395
00:18:13,336 --> 00:18:15,186
No, but I want to live here.
396
00:18:15,188 --> 00:18:16,570
Well, you should've
thought of that
397
00:18:16,572 --> 00:18:19,423
before you told me
the stupid magic trick story.
398
00:18:19,425 --> 00:18:21,926
Can't we talk about this?
399
00:18:21,928 --> 00:18:25,546
No husband of mine is gonna
break his mother's heart!
400
00:18:33,221 --> 00:18:34,922
Wil Wheaton!
401
00:18:34,924 --> 00:18:37,925
Wil Wheaton!
402
00:18:37,927 --> 00:18:40,077
Wait, how many was that?
403
00:18:42,447 --> 00:18:43,898
Hey, Sheldon, what's up?
404
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:47,651
Wouldn't you like to know?
405
00:18:47,653 --> 00:18:49,119
Have you been drinking?
406
00:18:49,121 --> 00:18:51,906
Just tea.
407
00:18:51,908 --> 00:18:55,809
The best tea I've ever had.
408
00:18:55,811 --> 00:18:57,795
Why are you here?
409
00:18:57,797 --> 00:18:59,580
I'll tell you.
410
00:18:59,582 --> 00:19:01,582
I'm from Texas.
411
00:19:01,584 --> 00:19:05,286
Need I say more?
412
00:19:05,288 --> 00:19:09,073
Yeah, actually, a little more
would be helpful.
413
00:19:09,075 --> 00:19:10,808
You insulted my woman.
414
00:19:10,810 --> 00:19:13,227
I'm here to defend her honor.
415
00:19:13,229 --> 00:19:15,462
Two! It was two.
416
00:19:15,464 --> 00:19:18,315
Wil Wheaton!
417
00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:22,486
Now prepare yourself
418
00:19:22,488 --> 00:19:25,656
for what may come.
419
00:19:25,658 --> 00:19:29,159
Oh, Sheldon, do you really
think we're gonna fight?
420
00:19:29,161 --> 00:19:30,911
My fists are not up here
421
00:19:30,913 --> 00:19:34,782
because I'm milking a
giant invisible cow.
422
00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:39,036
They're up to beat an
apology out of you.
423
00:19:39,038 --> 00:19:41,188
Okay, I'm sorry.
424
00:19:41,190 --> 00:19:44,959
Well, that was a long bus
ride for not very much.
425
00:19:44,961 --> 00:19:47,127
Are you okay?
426
00:19:47,129 --> 00:19:49,162
You're asking a lot of
questions, Wil Wheaton.
427
00:19:49,164 --> 00:19:51,765
As a matter of
idle curiosity,
428
00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:54,385
which of your
shrubberies do you feel
429
00:19:54,387 --> 00:19:56,604
would benefit from
a thorough vomiting?
430
00:19:56,606 --> 00:19:58,639
Never mind, I'll choose.
431
00:20:05,013 --> 00:20:07,564
You were so good in Stand by Me.
432
00:20:17,515 --> 00:20:20,517
Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
433
00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:24,221
Welcome to Sheldon Cooper
Presents: Fun with Flags.
434
00:20:25,790 --> 00:20:27,791
Get ready
for a very special episode
435
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:29,426
where we explore the flags
436
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:30,994
of the popular
entertainment franchise,
437
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:31,975
Star Trek.
438
00:20:31,976 --> 00:20:35,010
And to help us, I'm pleased
to introduce a special guest--
439
00:20:35,012 --> 00:20:37,112
surprisingly,
it only took gas money
440
00:20:37,114 --> 00:20:39,315
and the promise of free food
to get him here--
441
00:20:39,317 --> 00:20:41,650
Mr. LeVar Burton.
442
00:20:43,453 --> 00:20:45,354
Hey, Sheldon,
it's a pleasure to be here.
443
00:20:45,356 --> 00:20:47,773
- Well, we've got some interesting flags for...
- Cut!
444
00:20:50,226 --> 00:20:53,462
Yikes, this guy is worse
than Wil Wheaton.
445
00:20:55,815 --> 00:20:58,100
I don't know what
she's talking about,
446
00:20:58,102 --> 00:21:00,202
but I'm obligated
to agree with her.
447
00:21:00,204 --> 00:21:01,370
She's my girlfriend.
448
00:21:01,372 --> 00:21:03,205
Ah, I hear you, brother.
449
00:21:03,707 --> 00:21:06,541
I still get lunch, right?
450
00:21:06,543 --> 00:21:11,543
== sync, corrected by elderman ==