1 00:00:02,577 --> 00:00:05,180 Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 2 00:00:05,435 --> 00:00:09,203 Welcome to Sheldon Cooper Fun with Flags. 3 00:00:10,772 --> 00:00:13,155 Before we get started, I'd like to announce 4 00:00:13,205 --> 00:00:16,106 the winner of our design your own flag competition. 5 00:00:16,108 --> 00:00:17,280 But I can't. 6 00:00:17,770 --> 00:00:20,597 The only entry was from GameyGamer75, 7 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,131 and I know that was a jpeg of your buttocks. 8 00:00:24,421 --> 00:00:27,434 Now this week we have a very special episode 9 00:00:27,502 --> 00:00:28,883 where we explore the flags 10 00:00:28,921 --> 00:00:31,977 of the popular entertainment franchise, Star Trek. 11 00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:34,481 And to help me, I'm pleased to introduce 12 00:00:34,555 --> 00:00:36,024 Internet personality, 13 00:00:36,115 --> 00:00:39,184 The Next Generation, 14 00:00:39,231 --> 00:00:42,610 and the only guy I know lucky enough to be immortalized 15 00:00:42,629 --> 00:00:47,211 in 1/16 scale-- set phasers to "fun"... 16 00:00:49,874 --> 00:00:52,458 ...for my friend, Wil Wheaton. 17 00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:55,418 Hi, Sheldon. Thanks for having me. 18 00:00:55,449 --> 00:00:56,356 I'm happy to be here. 19 00:00:56,388 --> 00:00:57,905 Cut. 20 00:00:58,344 --> 00:00:59,443 What's wrong? 21 00:00:59,471 --> 00:01:01,738 Sorry, Sheldon, you were brilliant as always. 22 00:01:01,971 --> 00:01:04,359 Wil, that was a little wooden. 23 00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:06,776 Wooden? 24 00:01:06,795 --> 00:01:08,414 Don't worry, it wasn't terrible. 25 00:01:08,445 --> 00:01:12,280 Just, this time, try to say it the way people sound. 26 00:01:13,938 --> 00:01:16,002 And action. 27 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,036 My friend, Wil Wheaton. 28 00:01:18,065 --> 00:01:19,431 Hi, Sheldon. Thanks for having me. 29 00:01:19,459 --> 00:01:20,691 I'm excited to be here. 30 00:01:20,774 --> 00:01:23,458 So, Wil, what do you have for us first? 31 00:01:23,498 --> 00:01:25,328 Well, this is an exciting one. 32 00:01:25,361 --> 00:01:27,795 This is the flag of the United Federation of Planets. 33 00:01:27,828 --> 00:01:30,005 - Now what's interesting about this flag... - Cut. 34 00:01:31,488 --> 00:01:32,905 What was wrong with that? 35 00:01:32,938 --> 00:01:35,522 It's called "Fun with Flags." 36 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:37,737 They're not at half-mast, nobody died. 37 00:01:37,756 --> 00:01:39,909 Let's try and keep it upbeat. 38 00:01:40,619 --> 00:01:42,306 Um, no offense, 39 00:01:42,408 --> 00:01:44,175 but I've been acting since I was a kid. 40 00:01:44,202 --> 00:01:45,533 I think I can handle a Web show 41 00:01:45,554 --> 00:01:46,721 without a lot of direction. 42 00:01:46,762 --> 00:01:47,868 It's true. 43 00:01:47,894 --> 00:01:49,991 In 1982, Wil played the voice 44 00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:52,358 of Martin the mouse in The Secret of NIMH. 45 00:01:52,622 --> 00:01:54,467 You moved me. 46 00:01:55,026 --> 00:01:56,642 You'll have to forgive me. 47 00:01:56,785 --> 00:01:59,870 This is my first time directing, I just want it to be good. 48 00:01:59,985 --> 00:02:00,767 So do I. 49 00:02:00,818 --> 00:02:02,909 Great. So, this time let's try 50 00:02:02,934 --> 00:02:05,009 more real boy, less Pinocchio. 51 00:02:06,743 --> 00:02:07,793 And action. 52 00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:09,203 And cut. 53 00:02:10,019 --> 00:02:12,257 You realize that I'm doing this for free, right? 54 00:02:12,343 --> 00:02:16,429 Yes. And so far, we're still not getting our money's worth. 55 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,361 Let's try it again. 56 00:02:20,931 --> 00:02:22,797 Everybody's having fun. 57 00:02:23,348 --> 00:02:24,824 And action. 58 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,898 So, Wil... 59 00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:37,080 ...what do you have for us first? 60 00:02:37,376 --> 00:02:40,907 Well, this is an exciting one. 61 00:02:40,988 --> 00:02:42,510 This is the flag 62 00:02:42,532 --> 00:02:44,532 of the United Federation of Planets. 63 00:02:44,596 --> 00:02:45,862 Cut. 64 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:48,627 Problem, first-time director? 65 00:02:48,797 --> 00:02:50,842 Oh, none that I could see. 66 00:02:50,873 --> 00:02:53,618 I saw a man who loved flags almost as much as I do. 67 00:02:53,852 --> 00:02:55,737 I got goose bumps. 68 00:02:55,999 --> 00:02:58,199 He was overacting on purpose. 69 00:02:58,226 --> 00:02:59,258 Really? 70 00:02:59,302 --> 00:03:01,643 He reminded me of a young William Shatner. 71 00:03:03,328 --> 00:03:04,710 Listen, Sheldon, I'm really happy 72 00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:06,218 to do this for you, but not if she's gonna be 73 00:03:06,241 --> 00:03:08,308 a huge pain in the ass the whole time. 74 00:03:09,369 --> 00:03:11,504 You gonna let him speak to me like that? 75 00:03:12,073 --> 00:03:13,689 Well... 76 00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:16,887 you're my girlfriend 77 00:03:16,953 --> 00:03:18,886 and I don't want you to be upset. 78 00:03:19,026 --> 00:03:20,643 Then again, Wil Wheaton's my friend 79 00:03:20,662 --> 00:03:22,519 and I don't want him to be upset. 80 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:23,866 Hmm... 81 00:03:24,602 --> 00:03:26,251 This is a sticky wicket. 82 00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,600 What do you think? 83 00:03:30,158 --> 00:03:31,914 Can I speak to you for a second? 84 00:03:32,304 --> 00:03:34,009 I'll be right back. 85 00:03:34,239 --> 00:03:36,623 Feel free to play with yourself. 86 00:03:43,095 --> 00:03:46,086 I don't care for your friend, he's being rude to me. 87 00:03:46,335 --> 00:03:47,768 You need to ask him to leave. 88 00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:50,661 Amy, I can't just ask Wil Wheaton to leave. 89 00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:52,673 He's a minor celebrity. 90 00:03:53,178 --> 00:03:56,780 Once you explain who he is, many people recognize him. 91 00:03:57,683 --> 00:03:59,533 Fine. Then maybe I should go. 92 00:03:59,666 --> 00:04:02,250 Could you? That would solve everything. 93 00:04:03,688 --> 00:04:05,355 You are the best. 94 00:04:06,002 --> 00:04:07,558 I'll see you at dinner tonight? 95 00:04:07,576 --> 00:04:08,858 You sure you wouldn't rather have dinner 96 00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:10,207 with your friend Wil Wheaton? 97 00:04:10,307 --> 00:04:12,858 Come to think of it, I would! 98 00:04:13,694 --> 00:04:16,512 You, little lady, are on fire. 99 00:04:17,492 --> 00:04:20,906 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 100 00:04:20,924 --> 00:04:24,651 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 101 00:04:24,675 --> 00:04:26,073 ♪ The Earth began to cool 102 00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:29,134 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 103 00:04:29,152 --> 00:04:31,087 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 104 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:33,887 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 105 00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,968 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 106 00:04:35,991 --> 00:04:37,807 ♪ Bang! ♪ 107 00:04:37,834 --> 00:04:40,334 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x07 ♪ The Habitation Configuration Original Air Date on November 8, 2012 108 00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:42,890 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 109 00:04:42,999 --> 00:04:44,118 Every time we eat dinner here, 110 00:04:44,143 --> 00:04:46,226 your mother refuses to let me help with the dishes. 111 00:04:46,310 --> 00:04:48,929 Don't take it personally. She likes doing them by herself 112 00:04:48,964 --> 00:04:51,519 so she can lick the plates with no one looking. 113 00:04:52,370 --> 00:04:53,558 You ready to go? 114 00:04:53,586 --> 00:04:57,605 Yeah, let me just grab a couple of fresh turtlenecks. 115 00:04:58,225 --> 00:04:59,970 I don't understand why you keep your stuff here 116 00:04:59,994 --> 00:05:01,645 when there's plenty of room at home. 117 00:05:01,705 --> 00:05:03,438 What are you talking about? 118 00:05:03,490 --> 00:05:06,324 All I have here is a few sweaters, 119 00:05:06,376 --> 00:05:08,325 books, bank stuff, computers, 120 00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:11,056 mail, collectibles, medicine and my electric body groomer. 121 00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:15,646 Ooh, there's my plaid dickie. 122 00:05:15,686 --> 00:05:18,492 Oh, got this at the Goodwill store for 50 cents. 123 00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:20,325 Can you believe it? 124 00:05:22,314 --> 00:05:24,795 50 cents sounds right. 125 00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:27,803 Let's go. 126 00:05:27,831 --> 00:05:28,997 You know, it's kinda late. 127 00:05:29,023 --> 00:05:30,529 Why don't we just spend the night here? 128 00:05:30,562 --> 00:05:31,906 Because we don't live here. 129 00:05:32,011 --> 00:05:33,209 I know. 130 00:05:33,254 --> 00:05:35,517 Do you? You said when you got back from space 131 00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:36,855 you were gonna move into my apartment, 132 00:05:36,874 --> 00:05:38,491 but half the time we stay here. 133 00:05:39,196 --> 00:05:40,886 That's not true. 134 00:05:40,928 --> 00:05:42,886 Howard, I'm doing laundry! 135 00:05:42,911 --> 00:05:45,334 You want me to put anything in for you?! 136 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,399 There's some underwear in the hamper! 137 00:05:49,005 --> 00:05:52,675 Oh, good! I got that new stain stick to try out! 138 00:05:54,542 --> 00:05:58,489 Thank you! I only put it on the list two weeks ago! 139 00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:01,843 Okay, I see what you're getting at. 140 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:04,753 How about this weekend 141 00:06:04,853 --> 00:06:09,823 I'll box up all my things and move them to our place. 142 00:06:10,044 --> 00:06:11,227 Thank you. 143 00:06:11,475 --> 00:06:13,944 The lightsabers are gonna look great in the living room. 144 00:06:14,044 --> 00:06:16,925 Or in the closet. We can decide later. 145 00:06:17,985 --> 00:06:19,197 Howard, help! 146 00:06:19,235 --> 00:06:22,084 My hand's stuck in the garbage disposal! 147 00:06:22,344 --> 00:06:26,155 Let go of whatever piece of food you're holding! 148 00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:27,871 Are you kidding?! 149 00:06:27,902 --> 00:06:30,823 It's a perfectly good chicken leg! 150 00:06:33,698 --> 00:06:36,300 Hey, look who's out after dark, like a big boy. 151 00:06:37,446 --> 00:06:40,346 I was out raising heck with Mr. Wil Wheaton. 152 00:06:40,387 --> 00:06:41,818 Four hours more and we would have 153 00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:44,476 closed down the HomeTown Buffet. 154 00:06:45,033 --> 00:06:46,402 I thought you had plans with Amy. 155 00:06:46,430 --> 00:06:50,845 Yeah, I did, but then Wil called Amy a pain in the A-S-S. 156 00:06:51,663 --> 00:06:53,052 She got huffy and left, 157 00:06:53,081 --> 00:06:55,006 then Wil and I headed out to dinner. 158 00:06:55,077 --> 00:06:58,352 That place really did remind me of my hometown. 159 00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:02,878 Because there we also have a HomeTown Buffet. 160 00:07:03,932 --> 00:07:06,167 Hold on. Wil and Amy had an argument? 161 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,333 Yes, quite the kerfuffle. 162 00:07:08,454 --> 00:07:10,367 Then Amy got mad and left? 163 00:07:10,433 --> 00:07:12,099 Walked right out the door. 164 00:07:12,252 --> 00:07:13,802 And you...? 165 00:07:13,956 --> 00:07:17,135 Enjoyed a delightful dinner at a reasonable price. 166 00:07:17,792 --> 00:07:19,826 The manager recognized Wil 167 00:07:19,847 --> 00:07:22,487 and let us sit right next to the frozen yogurt machine. 168 00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:24,331 Right next to it! 169 00:07:24,460 --> 00:07:27,779 I was closer to it than I am to you right now. 170 00:07:29,894 --> 00:07:32,276 Buddy, I think Amy might be upset. 171 00:07:32,645 --> 00:07:33,708 Why's that? 172 00:07:33,790 --> 00:07:35,662 Because your friend was rude to her, 173 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,480 and then you went to dinner with him. 174 00:07:37,864 --> 00:07:40,305 You're just repeating what I said. 175 00:07:40,596 --> 00:07:42,930 It's like living with a lactose-intolerant parrot. 176 00:07:45,762 --> 00:07:47,766 Trust me, call her. 177 00:07:48,199 --> 00:07:51,508 Fine. It's a shame you didn't go to dinner with us, 178 00:07:51,594 --> 00:07:53,120 because the buffet you're about to enjoy 179 00:07:53,145 --> 00:07:55,064 only serves humble pie, 180 00:07:55,107 --> 00:07:58,058 a dessert much less tasty than frozen yogurt. 181 00:07:58,266 --> 00:07:59,649 I was this close. 182 00:08:03,075 --> 00:08:04,792 What? 183 00:08:05,405 --> 00:08:06,818 You'll appreciate this. 184 00:08:06,869 --> 00:08:09,436 Leonard has some ridiculous notion that you're mad at me. 185 00:08:09,582 --> 00:08:11,365 Tell him you're not mad at me. 186 00:08:11,417 --> 00:08:12,833 Go ahead, set him straight. 187 00:08:12,879 --> 00:08:14,717 I'm mad at you, Sheldon. 188 00:08:15,085 --> 00:08:19,604 Hmm. Eat one of your Luna bars. 189 00:08:19,953 --> 00:08:22,066 You know, very often when women think they're angry, 190 00:08:22,095 --> 00:08:24,462 they're really just hungry. 191 00:08:25,524 --> 00:08:27,664 I'm not hungry. 192 00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:30,225 Your friend insulted me, and you didn't do anything. 193 00:08:30,329 --> 00:08:34,436 Precisely, I didn't do anything. 194 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,880 Now does someone feel like checking her emotional math? 195 00:08:38,656 --> 00:08:41,231 Keep going, buddy, you're doing great. 196 00:08:41,895 --> 00:08:43,352 Sheldon, I'm your girlfriend, 197 00:08:43,374 --> 00:08:45,168 and you should have taken my side. 198 00:08:45,253 --> 00:08:48,755 That's it. End of story. Good night. 199 00:08:49,878 --> 00:08:54,522 Wow, Amy's mad and Leonard was right. 200 00:08:55,016 --> 00:08:57,717 What a weird day. 201 00:08:59,557 --> 00:09:01,397 Hey. Sorry this took so long. 202 00:09:01,465 --> 00:09:03,403 But you used to work here, you know how it is. 203 00:09:03,428 --> 00:09:04,616 Kitchen slammed again? 204 00:09:04,653 --> 00:09:07,404 No, I'm a terrible waitress, remember? 205 00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:10,032 So, is there anything I can do 206 00:09:10,063 --> 00:09:11,395 to help you with the move tomorrow? 207 00:09:11,435 --> 00:09:12,752 Now that you mention it, 208 00:09:12,773 --> 00:09:16,173 I was thinking tomorrow might not be great. 209 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,960 What's your excuse this time? 210 00:09:17,988 --> 00:09:21,673 No excuse. It's just, you know, I'm Jewish, and technically, 211 00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:24,398 we're not supposed to drive or carry anything on the Sabbath. 212 00:09:24,445 --> 00:09:26,958 So this one's on God. 213 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,200 That might be a little more convincing 214 00:09:29,226 --> 00:09:32,210 if you didn't have a mouthful of bacon cheeseburger. 215 00:09:32,725 --> 00:09:35,550 My religion's kinda loosey-goosey. 216 00:09:35,693 --> 00:09:37,772 Basically, as long as you got your schmekel clipped 217 00:09:37,801 --> 00:09:39,902 and don't wear a cross, you're good. 218 00:09:41,685 --> 00:09:43,485 Howie, you promised you'd move. 219 00:09:43,565 --> 00:09:44,571 And I will. 220 00:09:44,623 --> 00:09:45,767 Yeah, right. 221 00:09:45,795 --> 00:09:48,741 I will. I'm obviously not going to live in my mother's house 222 00:09:48,776 --> 00:09:51,444 for the rest of my life. I'm not a child. 223 00:09:51,540 --> 00:09:53,986 I've seen her burp you. 224 00:09:56,832 --> 00:09:57,917 She did not burp me. 225 00:09:57,942 --> 00:10:01,074 She was patting me on the back, and I happened to burp. 226 00:10:03,755 --> 00:10:06,113 Don't you have other tables you should be waiting on? 227 00:10:06,144 --> 00:10:08,925 Yeah, but I told you, I'm not good at my job. 228 00:10:09,226 --> 00:10:10,295 Bernadette, listen to me. 229 00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:11,589 He is never gonna leave. 230 00:10:11,868 --> 00:10:13,244 I'm starting to think you're right. 231 00:10:13,295 --> 00:10:14,962 All right, I've had enough of this. 232 00:10:14,995 --> 00:10:17,945 I'm a grown man, I have a successful career. 233 00:10:17,988 --> 00:10:19,911 For the love of God, I've been to space! 234 00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,492 I will move out when I'm ready, 235 00:10:21,510 --> 00:10:24,255 and I don't need anyone badgering me into it! 236 00:10:24,787 --> 00:10:27,531 Wow, excuse me. 237 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,156 That was just for her benefit. 238 00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:32,542 I'll move tomorrow. I love you. Don't leave me. 239 00:10:37,253 --> 00:10:38,542 Amy. 240 00:10:38,816 --> 00:10:40,379 Amy. 241 00:10:40,838 --> 00:10:43,222 Angry Amy. 242 00:10:44,555 --> 00:10:46,030 What? 243 00:10:46,130 --> 00:10:47,933 I've been thinking about what happened, 244 00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:50,271 and I hope this gift 245 00:10:50,291 --> 00:10:52,374 will make things better. 246 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:57,149 Star Trek DVDs? 247 00:10:57,505 --> 00:10:58,754 Why would I want this? 248 00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:01,570 First of all, you're welcome. 249 00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:03,841 Furthermore, not being familiar 250 00:11:03,869 --> 00:11:05,393 with Wil Wheaton's body of work, 251 00:11:05,434 --> 00:11:06,721 there was no way for you to know 252 00:11:06,746 --> 00:11:08,869 you were being rude to a national treasure. 253 00:11:10,053 --> 00:11:13,489 Get ready for 130 hours of "I told you so." 254 00:11:18,348 --> 00:11:20,365 Fine. I'll just tell you what happens. 255 00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:24,464 Episode one, "Encounter at Farpoint." 256 00:11:24,803 --> 00:11:25,941 Fade in. 257 00:11:26,024 --> 00:11:28,430 The new Enterprise heads out on its maiden voyage 258 00:11:28,579 --> 00:11:31,279 to contact the Bandi people of Deneb IV. 259 00:11:31,325 --> 00:11:34,410 Enter Wesley Crusher, played by my buddy... 260 00:11:39,005 --> 00:11:41,223 She's hooked. 261 00:11:49,201 --> 00:11:50,235 Wow. 262 00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:51,612 An end of an era. 263 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:55,908 Boy, if these walls could talk. 264 00:11:56,909 --> 00:12:00,528 They'd say, "Why does he touch himself so much?" 265 00:12:05,523 --> 00:12:07,240 Yeah. 266 00:12:09,158 --> 00:12:12,427 I can't believe I'm not going to live here anymore. 267 00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:15,850 This has always been my bedroom. 268 00:12:15,908 --> 00:12:19,196 Right here is where my mom used to mark my height. 269 00:12:19,621 --> 00:12:21,159 Oh, yeah. 270 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,542 Fifth grade. 271 00:12:22,598 --> 00:12:24,031 Sixth grade. 272 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,139 Seventh grade. 273 00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:25,882 Eighth grade. 274 00:12:25,907 --> 00:12:28,240 Ninth grade. 275 00:12:29,379 --> 00:12:32,085 I remember when I was five, 276 00:12:32,191 --> 00:12:36,030 hiding under this desk with all my Halloween candy. 277 00:12:36,144 --> 00:12:38,272 Had some Peanut M&M'S, 278 00:12:38,487 --> 00:12:40,344 went into my first anaphylactic shock 279 00:12:41,892 --> 00:12:43,899 and had to be rushed to the hospital. 280 00:12:43,947 --> 00:12:45,947 Came home, celebrated with a Snickers, 281 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:47,896 went into my second anaphylactic shock. 282 00:12:49,909 --> 00:12:51,918 When did you figure out you were allergic to nuts? 283 00:12:51,956 --> 00:12:54,123 Sometime around the third Almond Joy. 284 00:12:55,919 --> 00:12:56,757 Okay. 285 00:12:56,781 --> 00:12:58,781 You want to start loading this stuff into the truck? 286 00:12:58,830 --> 00:13:00,529 Yeah, I guess. 287 00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:02,775 Hey, would you do me a favor? 288 00:13:02,923 --> 00:13:03,834 Go on ahead. 289 00:13:03,863 --> 00:13:08,013 I just want one last moment alone in my old room. 290 00:13:08,577 --> 00:13:10,454 We're not standing outside by the U-Haul 291 00:13:10,478 --> 00:13:12,426 while you fondle yourself. 292 00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:17,374 Fine, let's go. 293 00:13:23,358 --> 00:13:24,240 Hey. 294 00:13:24,286 --> 00:13:25,869 What brings you in? 295 00:13:26,015 --> 00:13:27,890 Penny, if you wouldn't mind, 296 00:13:28,003 --> 00:13:31,257 I'd like to have a conversation about girls. 297 00:13:32,757 --> 00:13:36,308 I had a feeling we'd have a talk like this sooner or later. 298 00:13:36,757 --> 00:13:40,172 Are you finally getting fuzz in weird places? 299 00:13:40,652 --> 00:13:41,922 Penny, please, 300 00:13:41,979 --> 00:13:44,354 I'm on the horns of a relationship dilemma. 301 00:13:44,576 --> 00:13:46,376 And for the record, I had a full pubis of hair 302 00:13:46,401 --> 00:13:48,715 by the time I was 19. 303 00:13:50,181 --> 00:13:51,426 And for the record... 304 00:13:54,706 --> 00:13:56,089 So what are you drinking? 305 00:13:56,241 --> 00:13:57,691 Well, it's been a rough day. 306 00:13:57,761 --> 00:13:59,389 I usually go chamomile tea, 307 00:13:59,407 --> 00:14:01,274 but I don't think that's going to cut it. 308 00:14:01,432 --> 00:14:04,301 You could have a Long Island Iced Tea. 309 00:14:07,457 --> 00:14:10,164 Will that calm my nerves? 310 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:14,242 It's calmed the pants off me a couple of times. 311 00:14:14,995 --> 00:14:15,589 Sold. 312 00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,177 Oh. 313 00:14:17,912 --> 00:14:21,449 So, the heart you got from the wizard giving you trouble? 314 00:14:22,184 --> 00:14:23,891 The trouble isn't with me, Penny, 315 00:14:23,921 --> 00:14:25,438 it's with your gender. 316 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:26,971 Someday, scientists will discover 317 00:14:27,007 --> 00:14:29,091 that second X chromosome contains nothing 318 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:31,364 but nonsense and twaddle. 319 00:14:31,878 --> 00:14:34,029 Yeah, Amy told me what happened. 320 00:14:34,050 --> 00:14:35,169 Look, just apologize. 321 00:14:35,187 --> 00:14:36,804 It'll warm her twaddle. 322 00:14:38,405 --> 00:14:40,121 It's a Band-Aid at best. 323 00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:43,699 The core problem is that Amy and Wil do not like each other. 324 00:14:43,739 --> 00:14:47,491 Which is baffling because they're both crazy about me. 325 00:14:48,411 --> 00:14:49,628 And I like them, 326 00:14:49,643 --> 00:14:52,031 which indicates they're bright and interesting 327 00:14:52,053 --> 00:14:54,380 and/or were on Star Trek. 328 00:14:55,326 --> 00:14:58,000 Honey, you can't make people like each other. 329 00:14:58,078 --> 00:14:59,163 Not true. 330 00:14:59,204 --> 00:15:00,904 Leonard made me like you. 331 00:15:01,111 --> 00:15:04,079 And let me tell you, that was a hard row to hoe. 332 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:07,139 Cheers, pal. 333 00:15:08,715 --> 00:15:10,248 Ooh. 334 00:15:10,782 --> 00:15:14,224 Boy, that is a treat that's hard to beat. 335 00:15:15,121 --> 00:15:18,340 Get the Mad Hatter on the horn, I'm having a tea party. 336 00:15:24,238 --> 00:15:26,247 You might want to pace yourself. 337 00:15:26,690 --> 00:15:28,115 I drink tea all the time. 338 00:15:28,133 --> 00:15:30,312 I think I know what I'm doing. 339 00:15:31,022 --> 00:15:34,604 Far be it from me to criticize a man with a full pubis. 340 00:15:36,831 --> 00:15:39,029 Look, Sheldon, your problem is not Wil Wheaton, okay? 341 00:15:39,061 --> 00:15:40,715 Your problem is the way you treated Amy. 342 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:44,718 My problem is I'm out of tea. 343 00:15:45,399 --> 00:15:46,972 Come on, someone insulted 344 00:15:47,005 --> 00:15:48,676 your girlfriend and you just let him do it. 345 00:15:48,713 --> 00:15:51,602 I thought you Texas guys stood up for your womenfolk. 346 00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:53,236 Penny, please, 347 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:56,553 I think I've evolved beyond my simple rustic upbringing. 348 00:15:56,695 --> 00:15:57,733 Sorry. 349 00:15:57,812 --> 00:16:01,047 On the other hand, that low-down polecat done wronged my woman. 350 00:16:04,891 --> 00:16:07,058 Welcome to Long Island, Tex. 351 00:16:08,912 --> 00:16:10,831 Amy deserves better. 352 00:16:10,876 --> 00:16:13,373 You know, when we buy the Planter's deluxe mix, 353 00:16:13,489 --> 00:16:17,041 she eats all the Brazil nuts so I don't have to look at them. 354 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:21,547 She's a unique blend of saint and squirrel. 355 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,480 Yeah, that she is. 356 00:16:23,514 --> 00:16:24,496 Here you go. 357 00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:26,510 I'm a callous egomaniac. 358 00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,025 She's gonna leave me. 359 00:16:28,078 --> 00:16:29,109 No, she won't. 360 00:16:29,127 --> 00:16:31,344 No, she won't. I'm great. 361 00:16:43,007 --> 00:16:45,098 Okay, I have now 362 00:16:45,116 --> 00:16:47,667 officially moved out of my mother's house. 363 00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,666 You are now the only woman in my life 364 00:16:49,692 --> 00:16:51,959 who I'll see naked in the bathroom. 365 00:16:52,892 --> 00:16:54,503 I know this wasn't easy. 366 00:16:54,567 --> 00:16:55,648 You doing okay? 367 00:16:55,721 --> 00:16:56,796 Oh, I'm fine. 368 00:16:56,829 --> 00:16:58,977 It's just her I'm worried about. 369 00:16:59,027 --> 00:17:00,727 Aw, she'll be okay. 370 00:17:00,756 --> 00:17:02,706 She's a grown woman. I know. 371 00:17:03,032 --> 00:17:04,801 It's just ever since my dad left, 372 00:17:04,817 --> 00:17:07,517 I've felt responsible for her. 373 00:17:07,612 --> 00:17:09,987 That's a lot for a kid to deal with. 374 00:17:10,134 --> 00:17:13,028 She was just so sad all the time. 375 00:17:13,081 --> 00:17:16,238 Yeah, I was the only person who could cheer her up. 376 00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:18,349 Well, me and Ben and Jerry. 377 00:17:19,794 --> 00:17:22,266 She's lucky you were there. 378 00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:27,097 You know, she's why I first got into magic. 379 00:17:27,269 --> 00:17:29,019 I would do little shows for her, 380 00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:32,476 hang up a bedsheet like it was a curtain, 381 00:17:32,505 --> 00:17:34,324 put on a top hat and cape. 382 00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:36,248 And part way through the act, 383 00:17:36,478 --> 00:17:40,119 I would say I needed a volunteer from the audience 384 00:17:40,163 --> 00:17:42,785 to be my beautiful assistant 385 00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:45,766 and invite her up on stage. 386 00:17:46,137 --> 00:17:49,592 I can still remember the way she'd smile. 387 00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:51,978 For a few minutes, she'd... 388 00:17:52,211 --> 00:17:54,629 forget how lonely she was. 389 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:58,329 Aw, crap. 390 00:17:58,364 --> 00:18:00,080 Let's go. 391 00:18:01,145 --> 00:18:02,446 Where we going? 392 00:18:02,537 --> 00:18:03,477 Grab a box. 393 00:18:03,502 --> 00:18:05,264 We'll sleep at your mother's place tonight. 394 00:18:05,297 --> 00:18:07,329 No, but I want to live here. 395 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,486 Well, you should've thought of that 396 00:18:08,517 --> 00:18:11,368 before you told me the stupid magic trick story. 397 00:18:12,198 --> 00:18:14,049 Can't we talk about this? 398 00:18:14,152 --> 00:18:17,770 No husband of mine is gonna break his mother's heart! 399 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:26,666 Wil Wheaton! 400 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,040 Wil Wheaton! 401 00:18:29,788 --> 00:18:31,938 Wait, how many was that? 402 00:18:34,645 --> 00:18:36,096 Hey, Sheldon, what's up? 403 00:18:36,205 --> 00:18:39,022 Wouldn't you like to know? 404 00:18:40,164 --> 00:18:41,395 Have you been drinking? 405 00:18:41,426 --> 00:18:43,733 Just tea. 406 00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:46,961 The best tea I've ever had. 407 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,043 Why are you here? 408 00:18:50,395 --> 00:18:51,745 I'll tell you. 409 00:18:52,062 --> 00:18:54,062 I'm from Texas. 410 00:18:54,738 --> 00:18:57,229 Need I say more? 411 00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:01,175 Yeah, actually, a little more would be helpful. 412 00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:03,268 You insulted my woman. 413 00:19:03,364 --> 00:19:05,552 I'm here to defend her honor. 414 00:19:05,933 --> 00:19:07,436 Two! It was two. 415 00:19:07,999 --> 00:19:10,281 Wil Wheaton! 416 00:19:12,612 --> 00:19:14,406 Now prepare yourself 417 00:19:14,442 --> 00:19:16,771 for what may come. 418 00:19:18,994 --> 00:19:21,607 Oh, Sheldon, do you really think we're gonna fight? 419 00:19:21,772 --> 00:19:23,054 My fists are not up here 420 00:19:23,092 --> 00:19:26,198 because I'm milking a giant invisible cow. 421 00:19:28,055 --> 00:19:31,341 They're up to beat an apology out of you. 422 00:19:31,793 --> 00:19:33,713 Okay, I'm sorry. 423 00:19:34,269 --> 00:19:37,061 Well, that was a long bus ride for not very much. 424 00:19:38,334 --> 00:19:39,491 Are you okay? 425 00:19:39,515 --> 00:19:41,548 You're asking a lot of questions, Wil Wheaton. 426 00:19:42,337 --> 00:19:44,246 As a matter of idle curiosity, 427 00:19:44,264 --> 00:19:46,360 which of your shrubberies do you feel 428 00:19:46,390 --> 00:19:48,607 would benefit from a thorough vomiting? 429 00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:51,543 Never mind, I'll choose. 430 00:19:57,318 --> 00:19:59,700 You were so good in Stand by Me. 431 00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:08,593 Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 432 00:20:08,778 --> 00:20:12,480 Welcome to Sheldon Cooper Fun with Flags. 433 00:20:13,899 --> 00:20:15,974 Get ready for a very special episode 434 00:20:16,033 --> 00:20:17,320 where we explore the flags 435 00:20:17,363 --> 00:20:19,083 of the popular entertainment franchise, 436 00:20:19,154 --> 00:20:20,133 Star Trek. 437 00:20:20,148 --> 00:20:23,624 And to help us, I'm pleased to introduce a special guest-- 438 00:20:23,771 --> 00:20:25,664 surprisingly, it only took gas money 439 00:20:25,695 --> 00:20:27,839 and the promise of free food to get him here-- 440 00:20:28,388 --> 00:20:30,721 Mr. LeVar Burton. 441 00:20:31,962 --> 00:20:33,863 Hey, Sheldon, it's a pleasure to be here. 442 00:20:34,077 --> 00:20:36,494 Well, we've got some interesting Cut! 443 00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:41,439 Yikes, this guy is worse than Wil Wheaton. 444 00:20:45,147 --> 00:20:46,671 I don't know what she's talking about, 445 00:20:46,696 --> 00:20:48,652 but I'm obligated to agree with her. 446 00:20:48,683 --> 00:20:49,652 She's my girlfriend. 447 00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:51,514 Ah, I hear you, brother. 448 00:20:52,077 --> 00:20:54,775 I still get lunch, right? 449 00:20:59,849 --> 00:21:04,849 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther