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It seems today that all you see
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Is violence in movies and sex on TV
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But where are those
good old-fashioned values
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On which we used to rely?
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Lucky there's a family guy
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Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
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All the things that make us
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Laugh and cry
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He's a family guy
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Good evening. I'm Tom Tucker.
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This just in, wanted fugitive,
Bobby "The Shirt" Briggs,
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notorious for always wearing
shirts while committing his crimes,
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has finally been caught
after 15 years on the lam.
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A police spokesperson
was quoted as saying,
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"Duh, I'm a dumb cap.
I like to give Tom Tucker a ticket. "
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I was going, like, 41.
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Oh, my God, I don't believe it.
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They finally got that
son of a bitch, Briggs.
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You know that guy?
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You're damn right, I do.
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Bobby Briggs is the one who
put me in this wheelchair.
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They got him.
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They finally got him.
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Geez, Joe, you okay?
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Here, use my handkerchief.
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It's wet and cold.
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Well, yeah, it's my handkerchief.
I've been blowing my nose in it all day.
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Wait a minute, Bobby Briggs
is the one who crippled you?
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You always told us you fell off a roof
during a fight with the Grinch.
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I lied.
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I lied because I was
ashamed of the real story,
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that I let a vicious criminal get away.
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What happened?
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Well, it was 1996.
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Briggs was one of the
biggest heroin dealers east of Providence,
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which is mostly just open water,
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but still, I'd been undercover,
tracking his operation for six months
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and had finally gained his confidence.
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I had almost gathered enough evidence
to put Briggs away for good,
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but I knew a taped confession
would make the case a slam dunk.
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This is gonna take us to the next level.
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We're gonna be banging
so many hot chicks
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with jeans up to their navels.
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Bobby Briggs, you're really good at heroin.
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How much heroin is here, Bobby Briggs?
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Why are you talking like that?
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Are you wearing a wire?
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Oh, you're dead, Joe Swansonson.
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My undercover name
was Swansonson.
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Easy, Briggs-
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You kill a cop,
they'll put you away forever.
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Then get ready to spend
the rest of your life
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as a lame gimp with
an annoying-voiced wife.
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He'd met Bonnie.
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Briggs got a way,
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and I've been in this wheelchair ever since.
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I like that you can tell me a story
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starting at the Clam
and ending on a Ferris wheel.
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Yeah, people are starving in Africa,
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and I'm at a carnival
with my best buddies on a beautiful night.
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Blessings. Blessings.
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So, Joe, it must feel great to finally
have some closure with Bobby Briggs.
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Yeah.
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You know last night was
the first time in 15 years
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I didn't strangle Bonnie in my sleep?
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Okay.
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Oh, my God, Brian.
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Look at all the women fishing
for compliments on their side dishes.
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Is my potato salad too bland?
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Oh, no. it's got so much zing.
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But I feel like my gazpacho is too thick.
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Are you kidding?
It's refreshing and filling.
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You know, next time I'd put paprika
in the potato salad,
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and maybe add an extra tomato
to thin out the gazpacho,
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because it's very thick.
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Who the hell is this bitch?
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Hey, Dad, you're gonna want to see this.
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Again recapping our breaking news,
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longtime fugitive Bobby Briggs
has escaped from police custody.
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His whereabouts are currently unknown.
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News of Briggs's escape
first broke on Telemundo,
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if you can believe that.
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Briggs reportedly escaped
during a prison open house,
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an event that will most likely
be canceled in the future.
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No, no! I can't believe it.
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Oh, don't worry, Joe, they'll get him back.
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No, they won't!
It took 15 years to catch him.
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Well, this seems like
a good time to be heading out.
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I should be getting back anyway.
I left Rupert with a sitter.
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Well, you know where everything is.
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Feel free to help yourself
to anything in the fridge.
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And Mr. Con Man here can have
pudding or ice cream, not both.
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Chief, can I have a word?
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Yeah, but first, you have to agree
there's a huge difference
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between bisexual men
and homosexual men.
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- Sure, Chief.
- Thank you. Huge.
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What is it?
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Well, Chief, I'm here because I want you
to put me on the Briggs case.
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Absolutely not.
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Come on, Chief!
I know everything about Briggs.
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I'm the only one who can catch him.
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No, Swanson, you're too close to the case.
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I'm putting Officers Grant and Casey on it
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because they're so far from the case,
they don't care about it at all.
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- Hi, Chief.
- Hi.
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This isn't fair!
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Swanson, you know your assignment.
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You get me the guy
who's been rubbing his butt
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all over Dunkin' Donuts.
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Can I help you?
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Not illegal. Not illegal.
Show me the law. Not illegal.
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Hey, Joe, look, I know you're down
about this Briggs thing,
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and that kind of bums me out,
so I got you this Cookie Puss.
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isn't that funny?
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Look at that weird nose.
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I think your nose is weird.
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Guys, I'm telling you, I...
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I just don't think I could live with Briggs
on the lam for another 15 years.
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Well, why don't you do something about it?
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I can't do anything about it.
The Chief won't let me.
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Joe, if they don't find this guy,
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it's gonna eat you alive
for the rest of your life.
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You got to take matters
into your own hands.
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You got to go after this guy.
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But that's a breach of police protocol.
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This isn't about you as a cop.
This is about you as a man.
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Come on, what do you say? Quagmire and I
will help you bring this guy to justice.
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Peter, what did I say
about you volunteering me for shit?
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All right, let's do it!
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Well, if you're gonna do it,
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you're gonna need someone
who's very good at disguise.
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Who said that?
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I'd love to go with you, but I can't.
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I'm supposed to be the gift table
at a Bar Mitzvah tomorrow.
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All right, if we're gonna go after Briggs,
this might be a good place to start.
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I've spent the last 15 years
gathering information on him,
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and it's all here.
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Every crime he's committed,
every associate he's had...
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Look, Briggs was all-county JV swimming.
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Well, I don't just focus on the negative.
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Joe, your 25-year-old son
and your baby daughter share a room
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just so you can keep
a weirdo Beautiful Mind room?
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Isn't that a little bizarre?
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And then we dug the bullets out
of that Iraqi family's skulls
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so they couldn't be traced back to us.
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Today, I saw a balloon.
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Briggs' FBI profile says
the only relationship
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he's maintained over the years
is with a stripper named Tanya.
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Tax records show she currently works
at a club in Atlantic City.
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So that's our first stop.
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Is there touching at the club?
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I don't know, Peter. Maybe.
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Okay, this is good, this is good.
I'll be sure to pack my blammin' jeans.
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Hey, listen, thanks for agreeing
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to take care of Principessa
while we're gone, Lois.
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It's our pleasure.
She looks like a nice kitty.
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Uh, kitty?
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Lois, she is a purebred Persian.
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I can trace her lineage to
the cats kept by Cleopatra.
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Just tell me what I need to do, Glenn.
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Well, first, she has a very active bowel.
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You can't be too generous
with the baby wipes.
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Stroke front to back like
you would on yourself.
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Otherwise, you're smashing
feces into her genitals.
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Also, she's very skittish,
so you have to touch her like this.
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I'm going to touch you now.
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Is that okay?
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See how I'm going?
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Slowly, slowly.
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Oh, the mysteries you keep inside of you.
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Quagmire, come on, let's go.
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All right, I guess we're off.
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Hey, you guys, check out the look
on Lois's face when I do this.
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Peter!
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Clean that up, you idiot!
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Love you.
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Boy, it'll be satisfying to finally slap
the cuffs on Briggs once and for all.
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Hey, you ever just drive
through a town and wonder,
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- "Who the hell lives here?"
- All the time.
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Look at this place.
I mean, what's going on?
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There's an adult with a lemonade stand.
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00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:08,490
That Chinese restaurant still has the sign
from when it was a mechanic.
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I don't want to eat lo mein
where they were just changing mufflers.
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There's an apartment above that Arby's,
with toys in the window.
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Someone has built a life up there.
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What a mess.
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I'm telling you,
the Founding Fathers would be
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very disappointed in where
their country ended up.
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Eh, it wasn't so perfect back then, either.
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And so I say unto you, Sons of Liberty,
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00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:32,114
no longer will free men live
under the yoke of giant predatory birds.
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Shrieking, swooping down,
stealing our livestock.
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What's going on in here?
194
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,857
Nothing, uh, just bellyaching
about the British.
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Get back to warming those eggs.
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00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,569
All right, this is the place.
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We got to see if we can find Briggs's girl.
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00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:59,181
Hey, we're looking for a stripper
named Tanya. She here tonight?
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00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,945
Yeah, she's working the Champagne Room.
200
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,610
Follow me.
201
00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:07,686
Hey, Quagmire, uh,
you ever been to Atlantic City before?
202
00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:09,815
Once, about 20 years ago. Why?
203
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:13,295
- All right! All right!
- All right! All right!
204
00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:15,932
Hey. are you Tanya?
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00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,433
Yeah. Who are you?
206
00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:20,197
A guy who's looking for Bobby Briggs.
Where is he?
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00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,000
I don't know any Bobby Briggs.
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00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:23,937
And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you.
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00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:25,941
- You're lying!
- Joe, let me handle this.
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00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:27,602
I know how to communicate with strippers.
211
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:31,271
All I need is one dance,
and I'll know everything she knows.
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00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:33,714
- You free for a dance?
- Sure.
213
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:36,676
I need information.
214
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,551
I was molested by my dad.
215
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,453
I know that. I need other information.
216
00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:42,753
I want you to tell me where
I can find Bobby Briggs.
217
00:09:42,848 --> 00:09:46,352
Come on, you know I can't give out
a client's personal information.
218
00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:49,729
All right, I'm gonna have
to do the Vulcan V-Meld.
219
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:04,708
He lives at 2820 Ocean Boulevard,
across from the park, apartment two.
220
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:05,805
Atta girl!
221
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:08,283
Okay, now spit in your own mouth.
222
00:10:08,407 --> 00:10:09,909
This is a cool place.
223
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:16,221
Boy, it sure is nice having
Mr. Quagmire's cat around.
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00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:19,023
I got to say, cats are
so much better than dogs.
225
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:21,791
- Well, that's kind of a broad statement.
- It's true.
226
00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:24,458
Okay, show me one way
in which cats are better than dogs.
227
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:27,731
Well, okay, uh, for one thing,
they always land on their feet.
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00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:29,534
Watch.
229
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:31,437
So? Big deal. Dogs do that, too.
230
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,874
Here, go ahead, do what you just did,
but with me.
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00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,707
Ow! Oh, my God!
232
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,803
Oh, my neck! Ow!
233
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:39,109
Oh, my God, Brian!
234
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,583
Don't touch me! Don't touch me!
Call somebody! Oh!
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00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,847
We need one of those boards
they use for football players!
236
00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:47,490
- Hey, what's going on?
- Nothing.
237
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:51,118
I just figured out why
cats are better than babies.
238
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,992
Well, that's kind of a broad statement.
239
00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:58,597
Okay, 2820 Ocean, this is it.
240
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,543
All right, apartment number two.
241
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,736
We'll just pick the lock.
242
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,946
What? What is that?
243
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,783
Let's use our eyes to see.
244
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:25,126
Aw, this guy has sugar cereals.
His mom must be so cool.
245
00:11:25,217 --> 00:11:26,924
And he's got a trash compactor.
246
00:11:29,955 --> 00:11:31,298
It compacted it all.
247
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:33,392
That is so boss.
248
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:41,108
Aha! We meet again, Briggs.
249
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,474
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who are you?
250
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:43,876
Joe Swanson.
251
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:45,638
Who?
252
00:11:45,738 --> 00:11:48,150
Wait, you don't remember me?
253
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,151
I infiltrated your heroin operation.
254
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:51,949
We saw Reality Bites together.
255
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:56,116
You guys, I found him!
256
00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:57,921
He went that way!
257
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:16,807
Damn it. That's Lois.
258
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,779
If I don't get this, she's going to kill me.
259
00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:25,554
Hi, sweetie.
260
00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:27,851
Yeah, everything's great.
261
00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:30,291
Of course, I miss you.
262
00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:32,362
Well, how does the supermarket
run out of parsley?
263
00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:33,794
I'm as angry as you are.
264
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,490
Peter, I'm going to fall!
265
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,066
It looks like you're out of roof.
266
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,312
Damn it. There's no way across.
267
00:12:57,409 --> 00:12:59,411
Spidey, can you swing
us across with your web?
268
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,355
No, I can't swing you across.
269
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,324
And it's Spider-Man, not Spidey.
270
00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:05,156
I'm pretty sure
I've heard people call you Spidey.
271
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:06,457
Yeah, close friends.
272
00:13:06,552 --> 00:13:07,826
- What's your name?
- Peter.
273
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,523
Hey, Petey, do stuff for me.
274
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,499
- Oh, I don't like that.
- Yeah, you don't like it.
275
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:13,763
And you're a fat nobody,
and I'm fucking Spider-Man,
276
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:15,429
so how do you think I feel?
277
00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:21,008
He's getting away.
Guys, drop me over the side!
278
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,080
Are you crazy, Joe? That fall will kill you.
279
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:25,149
Not if I land on my legs.
280
00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:30,716
Heads up.
281
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:37,050
I got you now, Briggs.
282
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:53,172
Move that bus!
283
00:13:57,469 --> 00:13:59,710
Enjoy your new home.
284
00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:02,684
He's gone, you guys!
285
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:03,845
I had him!
286
00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:05,013
That was our one chance!
287
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:08,683
He was right there in my grasp,
and now I've lost him forever.
288
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:11,159
God, you two are so Ross and Rachel.
289
00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:13,661
It's all right, Joe.
You got nothing to be ashamed of.
290
00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:16,289
You're a great cop
with a very distinguished career.
291
00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:18,800
You caught that guy who was killing
all those Filipino girls.
292
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:20,564
Yeah, but this was important!
293
00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:22,468
This was the guy who ruined my life.
294
00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:24,837
The one perp who meant everything to me.
295
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:27,740
If I caught this guy,
I'd finally be able to sleep at night.
296
00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:28,868
Damn it!
297
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,344
Oh, thank God. Cops.
298
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,610
Oh, good. You guys can still catch Briggs.
299
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:34,707
He's headed that way.
300
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:37,185
We're not here for him.
We're here for you guys.
301
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:40,086
You're under arrest for interfering
with a police investigation.
302
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:41,249
What?
303
00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:44,260
Yeah, what the hell? You should be
out there arresting the real criminals.
304
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:46,193
Like switchblade-wielding white guys
305
00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:48,822
from movies and TV
who don't talk like people talk.
306
00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:50,264
Easy, mama.
307
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:53,826
Hand over that purse, and everything
will be real cool, you dig?
308
00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:02,241
Guys, you got to let us out of here.
The real criminal's getting away.
309
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:05,372
Yeah, the bastard's making a break for it,
just like South America.
310
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:09,078
Hmm. Lot of black guys over there.
311
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,918
Hey, man, where you going?
312
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,388
I'll be back. I'm coming back.
I'll be right back.
313
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:16,653
Why would the cops arrest us
instead of going after Briggs?
314
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,331
Flannigan? Wait a minute.
315
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,422
That's one of the corrupt cops
who helped harbor Briggs
316
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:25,559
while he was on the lam for 15 years.
317
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,228
These guys are bad news.
318
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:29,602
Oh, my God.
What are they going to do to us?
319
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:31,402
We're not going to stick around to find out.
320
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,204
Joe, hold your handcuffs over my lap.
321
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,577
What the hell is that?
322
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:38,274
Swiss Army penis.
323
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:40,548
Wow, Quagmire. That's incredible.
324
00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:42,414
Peter?
325
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,053
Yours are made of a stronger metal.
326
00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:46,350
We're going to have to go
with the acetylene torch penis.
327
00:15:47,579 --> 00:15:49,149
Don't look right at it.
328
00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:51,558
My STDs help it burn brighter.
329
00:15:53,185 --> 00:15:54,960
The keys are in the ignition. Let's go!
330
00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,494
I told you to search that guy's penis.
331
00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:01,434
You say that about everybody.
332
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:05,372
- Yeah, we did it!
- But we lost Briggs.
333
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,273
How are we going to find him now?
We got nothing.
334
00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:08,673
Well, I don't know if it helps,
335
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:11,475
but I found this number
next to the phone in his kitchen.
336
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:15,017
I was saving it 'cause I was going to make
a scrapbook of the trip for you guys.
337
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:16,279
Let me see that.
338
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:18,616
This is the area code for Juarez, Mexico.
339
00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:20,347
He's trying to get over the border!
340
00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:22,119
- You think so?
- Definitely.
341
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:25,354
There's only one road into Juarez,
and it goes through El Paso.
342
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,192
We got to get to El Paso.
343
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,993
Joe, how do you know
the area code for Juarez, Mexico?
344
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,729
There was a stem cell doctor
I went down there to see.
345
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,806
He just rubbed, like, salsa on my legs.
346
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,237
Hey, you're not in uniform.
347
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:43,108
Are you guys COPS?
348
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:44,373
Are you guys cops?
349
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,279
They know we're not cops!
350
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:55,687
All right, guys, the next flight
to El Paso leaves in 40 minutes.
351
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,818
But Briggs is ahead of us.
Won't he already be there?
352
00:16:57,916 --> 00:17:00,226
No, he'd never risk
going through an airport.
353
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,696
Too many cops, too many cameras,
too much security.
354
00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:05,394
I don't know, Joe.
Sometimes the security's pretty lax.
355
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:07,493
I mean, the last plane I was on
got gay-jacked.
356
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:11,106
This plane's going to Miami!
357
00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:23,718
- Hey, Lois?
- Shh.
358
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:26,618
Quiet, Brian.
Mom's taking a nap on the couch.
359
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:30,660
Yeah. And look, she fell asleep
with the cat right on her chest.
360
00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:41,101
isn't that cute?
361
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,150
I think you're dreaming.
362
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,352
No, I'm not.
363
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:11,732
Stupid cat!
364
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:17,065
God, it's so damn hot.
365
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:20,666
Hey, I got an idea.
Let's make scalding asphalt angels.
366
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,407
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
367
00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:27,308
Second-degree burns, first-degree fun.
368
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,578
Geez, how long we got to
stand out here like this?
369
00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:31,120
Till Briggs comes through.
370
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:32,348
You know, I was thinking about that, Joe.
371
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:35,288
If Briggs is driving here,
that's 2,000 miles.
372
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,155
It's going to be at least a couple of days.
373
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:38,887
Huh. I guess you're right.
374
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:41,328
Well, what are we going to
do for two days in El Paso?
375
00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:44,600
There's a Chicano heritage festival.
376
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:45,930
No way.
377
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:47,628
KC and the Sunshine Band is playing.
378
00:18:47,759 --> 00:18:48,829
Why?
379
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,338
Or we could visit the Pershing House
380
00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:55,242
where John Pershing took control
of the Eighth Army Brigade in 1914.
381
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:56,878
- So, that's his bed?
- Yes.
382
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,312
- So, that's his desk?
- Yes.
383
00:18:58,403 --> 00:18:59,677
- So, that's his lamp?
- Yes.
384
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:01,079
- So, that's his dresser?
- Yes.
385
00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:02,447
- So, that's his window?
- Yes.
386
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,043
- So, that's his floor?
- Yes.
387
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:05,449
Wow.
388
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:12,159
What do you got there, Quagmire?
Is that Briggs?
389
00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:13,285
No, this guy's clean.
390
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:15,194
Well, send him through.
What's the holdup?
391
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,163
Sombreros! Maracas!
392
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:18,893
Ceramic Winnie the Pooh dolls!
393
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:19,992
Get 'em now, folks!
394
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:22,072
You're not going to find
this stuff in Mexico!
395
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,467
Come on. What's going on up there?
396
00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:27,335
Briggs.
397
00:19:31,069 --> 00:19:32,810
Damn it! He's getting away!
398
00:19:59,831 --> 00:20:02,402
You're not going to get away this time,
you son of a bitch.
399
00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:04,811
Please, don't kill me. I'm not married.
400
00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:06,473
My life is awesome.
401
00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:09,485
I've waited 15 years
for this moment, Briggs.
402
00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:11,314
Do you have any idea what it's like
403
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:14,584
to have to lift yourself
into a wheelchair every morning?
404
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,160
To have your wife look at you
like you're half a man?
405
00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:18,922
To get preferential parking?
406
00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:20,997
To board a plane early
with the first-class people
407
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,793
and gold card members?
408
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,561
All right, it's not all bad.
409
00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:26,363
But I'm not going to kill you.
410
00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:28,596
I'm not an animal like you.
411
00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:30,230
So, what are you going to do, arrest me?
412
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:31,569
No.
413
00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:33,165
I don't arrest cripples.
414
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:38,112
By the way, you're under arrest.
415
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,308
I only said that last thing
'cause it seemed cool.
416
00:20:40,772 --> 00:20:43,275
Oh, my God, that was so awesome.
I saw everything.
417
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:44,820
You were all like...
418
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,753
And Briggs was all like...
419
00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:48,585
And then you were all like...
420
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,627
And then Briggs's legs were like...
421
00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:53,425
Oh, crap, he's dead.
422
00:20:53,518 --> 00:20:56,158
I think he bled out.
I must have hit the femoral artery.
423
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,428
Ah, just kick him into Mexico.
424
00:21:02,894 --> 00:21:05,431
Guys, I can't thank you enough
for what you did.
425
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:08,636
You risked your lives for me,
and I couldn't have done it without you.
426
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:10,270
Hey, that's what pals are for.
427
00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:13,542
Yeah, and thanks for letting me
fire a few rounds into Briggs's corpse.
428
00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:16,279
That was the most powerful
I've felt in a couple years.
429
00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:19,322
Well, you guys helped me
finally have some closure in my life.
430
00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:22,017
I feel like a new man, like I'm reborn.
431
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:25,785
Joe, you have blood
just pouring out of your pant leg.
432
00:21:25,884 --> 00:21:28,228
Yeah, I had a ball blow in the river.