1 00:00:00,958 --> 00:00:01,907 (Tessa) Change is a part of life. 2 00:00:01,925 --> 00:00:03,343 It's inevitable. 3 00:00:03,377 --> 00:00:05,011 The trees don't apologize when they change, 4 00:00:05,045 --> 00:00:06,346 so why should I? 5 00:00:06,380 --> 00:00:08,514 I'm not sure I've ever known the calm I feel 6 00:00:08,549 --> 00:00:11,801 when lying in a pile of crisp fall leaves. 7 00:00:11,835 --> 00:00:13,803 It's as though... 8 00:00:13,837 --> 00:00:15,538 (Spits) 9 00:00:15,589 --> 00:00:18,241 (Coughing) 10 00:00:19,177 --> 00:00:20,778 Something crawled down my throat. 11 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:23,497 Ugh. Something leggy. 12 00:00:23,531 --> 00:00:25,432 Let's go inside, Lisa. 13 00:00:25,467 --> 00:00:27,468 I don't have any more clarity now 14 00:00:27,502 --> 00:00:30,938 than I did before whatever that was crawled down your throat. 15 00:00:30,972 --> 00:00:33,424 I just... 16 00:00:33,458 --> 00:00:36,010 don't know how George is gonna feel about this. 17 00:00:36,044 --> 00:00:38,329 Tessa, you've spent 16 consecutive Thanksgivings 18 00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:39,897 tethered to that man's teat. 19 00:00:39,931 --> 00:00:42,399 Just this once your mother, who you've never met, 20 00:00:42,434 --> 00:00:45,653 - is flying in from Berlin... - Exactly. 21 00:00:45,687 --> 00:00:49,406 And it's really important to my grandmother. 22 00:00:49,457 --> 00:00:51,275 It's too bad we didn't have more of a heads-up. 23 00:00:51,309 --> 00:00:53,327 Could have made a great human interest piece. 24 00:00:53,361 --> 00:00:55,629 I could have reached out to Connie Chung, Hugh Downs... 25 00:00:55,663 --> 00:00:57,948 God. I wish Donahue was still in the game. 26 00:00:57,983 --> 00:01:01,468 Phil would have handled this right. 27 00:01:01,449 --> 00:01:03,450 Oh, so I was thinking... (Utensils clatter) 28 00:01:03,484 --> 00:01:06,136 we do all our Thanksgiving traditions the day before. 29 00:01:06,187 --> 00:01:08,255 We drive into the city, see the floats, all that jazz, 30 00:01:08,289 --> 00:01:11,124 then day of, we hit the Royces'. 31 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,509 Cool. 32 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:14,945 It's gonna be smaller this year. Just our two families. 33 00:01:14,996 --> 00:01:17,547 That's fine, George. Whatever you wanna do... 34 00:01:20,034 --> 00:01:21,918 (Under breath) because I might not be here. 35 00:01:21,953 --> 00:01:24,671 (Refrigerator closes) And no costumes this time. I made Dallas promise. 36 00:01:24,689 --> 00:01:26,406 What... sorry? 37 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:28,692 Did you just say you might not be here? 38 00:01:28,743 --> 00:01:30,443 Where might you be? 39 00:01:30,478 --> 00:01:33,230 So... it's like this, okay? 40 00:01:33,281 --> 00:01:35,382 (Pats legs) Uh, my mother, as it turns out, 41 00:01:35,416 --> 00:01:38,602 is flying into New York on Thursday 42 00:01:38,636 --> 00:01:40,921 to be with my grandmother for the holidays. 43 00:01:40,955 --> 00:01:44,190 And... they were wondering 44 00:01:44,225 --> 00:01:48,628 if... I might now be at an age... 45 00:01:48,662 --> 00:01:51,431 where I'm interested in... joining them. 46 00:01:51,449 --> 00:01:54,367 I see, and are you... 47 00:01:54,385 --> 00:01:58,238 at an age where you might be interested in joining them? 48 00:01:59,290 --> 00:02:00,707 I am. 49 00:02:03,311 --> 00:02:05,011 Well, that's fantastic. 50 00:02:05,046 --> 00:02:06,763 That's great. 51 00:02:06,737 --> 00:02:08,955 Hey, I... you know... you know... you know... (Chuckles) 52 00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:11,758 you don't have to act like you gotta break it to me gently, 53 00:02:11,776 --> 00:02:13,627 or it's something I don't wanna hear. 54 00:02:13,661 --> 00:02:14,628 I'm all for it. (Clatters) 55 00:02:14,662 --> 00:02:16,329 You know, I... I think it's great 56 00:02:16,363 --> 00:02:18,515 that Alex is finally making an effort. 57 00:02:18,566 --> 00:02:20,534 Burn. 58 00:02:20,568 --> 00:02:21,718 What's that? 59 00:02:21,752 --> 00:02:23,970 - I said "burn." - Burn? 60 00:02:24,005 --> 00:02:26,973 Yeah, it's like you can't resist going after Alex. 61 00:02:26,991 --> 00:02:28,675 "Finally making an effort"? 62 00:02:28,709 --> 00:02:30,010 That's an impartial fact. 63 00:02:30,044 --> 00:02:32,178 Unless there were some prior overtures 64 00:02:32,196 --> 00:02:33,914 that I wasn't privy to. 65 00:02:33,948 --> 00:02:36,600 Why are you talking like you're on trial for witchcraft? 66 00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:39,753 O... okay, but for the record, in the city of Salem, 67 00:02:39,787 --> 00:02:41,488 I'm not the one that would be on trial! 68 00:02:41,522 --> 00:02:44,958 (Lid snaps) That was a burn. 69 00:02:44,976 --> 00:02:47,460 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 70 00:02:47,478 --> 00:02:52,015 (Alih Jay) * last night I had a pleasant nightmare * 71 00:02:52,066 --> 00:02:54,985 ♪ da-da-da-da, da, da, da, da ♪ 72 00:02:54,987 --> 00:02:57,804 This year's Thanksgiving is gonna have a Caribbean theme, 73 00:02:57,822 --> 00:03:00,240 so I'm gonna need you to use the word "mon" a lot. 74 00:03:00,274 --> 00:03:01,508 For instance, 75 00:03:01,542 --> 00:03:04,644 "sorry me mashed potatoes be so clumpy, mon." 76 00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:06,413 "Clumpy, mon." 77 00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:07,697 I also don't need to remind you 78 00:03:07,748 --> 00:03:10,000 that I'm severely allergic to anything nasty. 79 00:03:10,034 --> 00:03:12,168 So all the food you cook should be good-tasting 80 00:03:12,203 --> 00:03:14,821 or not nasty when at all possible. 81 00:03:14,839 --> 00:03:16,256 "Not nasty." 82 00:03:16,290 --> 00:03:19,325 All right. Is there anything else before I start shopping? 83 00:03:19,343 --> 00:03:20,510 Alan, you're fired! 84 00:03:20,544 --> 00:03:22,161 Mommy, he didn't mess up yet. 85 00:03:22,179 --> 00:03:24,681 This isn't performance-related, it's George Altman-related. 86 00:03:24,715 --> 00:03:26,266 Boo got bad news. 87 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,219 Tessa isn't gonna be here for Thanksgiving. 88 00:03:29,253 --> 00:03:30,537 You said bad news. 89 00:03:30,571 --> 00:03:32,973 George is thinking about skipping the holiday altogether. 90 00:03:33,007 --> 00:03:34,774 We need to rally around him, Dalia. 91 00:03:34,809 --> 00:03:35,859 Start our own tradition. 92 00:03:35,893 --> 00:03:37,227 Of firing loyal employees? 93 00:03:37,278 --> 00:03:38,845 Alan, hush! 94 00:03:38,863 --> 00:03:40,530 We're gonna keep George occupied 95 00:03:40,564 --> 00:03:43,349 by cooking our own Thanksgiving meal together. 96 00:03:43,367 --> 00:03:45,201 Well, I guess I'll stop streaming 97 00:03:45,236 --> 00:03:46,703 "Cool Runnings" to my phone... 98 00:03:46,737 --> 00:03:50,624 even though it's already halfway downloaded. 99 00:03:50,658 --> 00:03:51,658 There. 100 00:03:53,327 --> 00:03:54,861 How are those veggies coming, Denzel? 101 00:03:54,879 --> 00:03:57,464 I'm grating cheese, actually, but... almost done, Mrs. Shay. 102 00:03:57,498 --> 00:04:01,084 Yeah, you can handle whatever I throw at ya. (Laughs) 103 00:04:01,135 --> 00:04:02,469 Hey, how 'bout some tunes? 104 00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:03,837 Yeah. 105 00:04:07,341 --> 00:04:10,310 (Deee-lite's "Groove is in the Heart" playing) 106 00:04:10,344 --> 00:04:12,979 * 107 00:04:13,014 --> 00:04:15,214 Whoo! 108 00:04:15,232 --> 00:04:17,434 * 109 00:04:17,485 --> 00:04:18,735 (Laughs) Whoo! 110 00:04:18,769 --> 00:04:21,104 Hey, some people are trying to shuck here. 111 00:04:21,155 --> 00:04:23,073 This is like "The big chill." 112 00:04:23,107 --> 00:04:24,824 * The chills that you spill 113 00:04:24,859 --> 00:04:26,443 * up my back keep me filled okay, that's enough. 114 00:04:26,494 --> 00:04:27,744 (Music stops) Just stop. 115 00:04:27,778 --> 00:04:30,747 Malik, I am just gonna come right out and ask you. 116 00:04:30,781 --> 00:04:32,699 Will you share Thanksgiving dinner with our family? 117 00:04:32,733 --> 00:04:34,334 - Mother. - Well, look at his pile! 118 00:04:34,368 --> 00:04:35,752 He's the T.I. of green beans! 119 00:04:35,786 --> 00:04:37,170 No, she's right. He is. 120 00:04:37,204 --> 00:04:39,122 He's earned it. He's earned a place at our table. 121 00:04:39,206 --> 00:04:41,041 Well, I am sure that Malik would love to join us. 122 00:04:41,075 --> 00:04:43,843 But sadly, he'll be eating dinner with his own family. 123 00:04:43,878 --> 00:04:45,295 Actually, my family eats really early, 124 00:04:45,346 --> 00:04:47,246 so I could probably make it to both dinners. 125 00:04:47,264 --> 00:04:48,598 Well, that's fantastic, Malik. 126 00:04:48,632 --> 00:04:50,016 Then it's settled. 127 00:04:50,051 --> 00:04:52,752 Guess who's coming to dinner, Lisa?! 128 00:04:52,787 --> 00:04:54,938 (Fred and Sheila laugh) 129 00:04:54,972 --> 00:04:57,857 (Sports game playing on TV) Alex better not foul this up, 130 00:04:57,892 --> 00:04:59,442 - you know? - I couldn't agree more. 131 00:04:59,477 --> 00:05:01,077 Her pass rush killed Tebow last year. 132 00:05:01,112 --> 00:05:03,146 - Alex's did? - Wha... yep. 133 00:05:03,180 --> 00:05:05,532 - You're listening to me, are you? - I'm... see, in my... 134 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:09,219 What I meant to say was... Alex. Okay. 135 00:05:09,253 --> 00:05:11,187 In my mind, Alex is Michael Vick. 136 00:05:11,222 --> 00:05:12,171 What? 137 00:05:12,189 --> 00:05:14,624 She screwed up. 138 00:05:14,658 --> 00:05:17,544 Things got ugly. Dogs died. 139 00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,729 No one's saying they didn't. 140 00:05:19,764 --> 00:05:22,699 But... he was given a second chance, 141 00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:24,033 and he proved himself. 142 00:05:24,085 --> 00:05:26,102 In fact, he went on to have his best year ever. 143 00:05:26,137 --> 00:05:30,340 So if you open the door for Alex, you know... 144 00:05:30,374 --> 00:05:32,425 Who knows? 145 00:05:32,459 --> 00:05:33,810 Alex is Michael Vick? 146 00:05:33,861 --> 00:05:35,995 (Whispers) Alex is Michael Vick. 147 00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:37,831 No wonder things didn't work out between us. (Laughs) (Door opens) 148 00:05:37,865 --> 00:05:39,466 (Dallas, singsongy) Happy Thanksgiving! (Door closes) 149 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:41,184 - George! - Oh, hey, baby. 150 00:05:41,218 --> 00:05:42,185 - Hi! - Hi. 151 00:05:42,219 --> 00:05:43,203 (Kisses) Mmm. 152 00:05:43,237 --> 00:05:44,771 Noah. 153 00:05:44,789 --> 00:05:46,423 Gobble gobble, Dallas! 154 00:05:46,457 --> 00:05:48,875 Oh, yes, absolutely. Gobble gobble to you and yours. 155 00:05:48,909 --> 00:05:49,893 Is she here? 156 00:05:49,927 --> 00:05:51,227 Who, Jill? My better half? 157 00:05:51,262 --> 00:05:53,413 No, she's still away on her book tour. 158 00:05:53,447 --> 00:05:54,748 I meant Carmen, 159 00:05:54,782 --> 00:05:57,383 my better half and former housekeeper that you stole. 160 00:05:57,418 --> 00:05:59,585 Oh, Carmen. Right. 161 00:05:59,603 --> 00:06:02,922 No, she took the baby to see a witch doctor in Yonkers. 162 00:06:02,940 --> 00:06:05,358 (Chuckles) She's convinced he's possessed. 163 00:06:05,392 --> 00:06:06,443 Me, I don't see it. 164 00:06:06,477 --> 00:06:07,527 And Jenna? 165 00:06:07,561 --> 00:06:10,563 Oh, she went home with a brown friend. 166 00:06:10,597 --> 00:06:12,315 A friend from Brown. 167 00:06:12,366 --> 00:06:13,349 Some Chinese kid. 168 00:06:13,384 --> 00:06:16,536 Wow. So we have you all to ourselves. 169 00:06:16,570 --> 00:06:17,537 Lucky, lucky us. 170 00:06:17,571 --> 00:06:19,539 All right, guys. Uh, hey, 171 00:06:19,573 --> 00:06:22,108 thank you for being here. It means a lot. (Door opens) 172 00:06:22,126 --> 00:06:23,460 Ready to start cooking? 173 00:06:23,494 --> 00:06:26,129 (Wheels rolling) Mommy, here's the wardrobe. 174 00:06:26,163 --> 00:06:28,081 (Gasps) Dalia! 175 00:06:28,115 --> 00:06:31,050 This is a little risque for Thanksgiving, isn't it? 176 00:06:31,085 --> 00:06:33,619 Look! They're all backless. 177 00:06:33,637 --> 00:06:36,055 (Singsongy) Uh-oh. Naughty. 178 00:06:39,434 --> 00:06:41,585 As I rode the elevator up to the ninth floor... 179 00:06:41,619 --> 00:06:43,353 (Bell dings) of my grandmother's apartment building, 180 00:06:43,371 --> 00:06:45,088 I thought about it... 181 00:06:45,123 --> 00:06:46,923 the girl who'd never met her mother 182 00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:48,725 was about to be no more. 183 00:06:48,743 --> 00:06:50,360 It was weird. 184 00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:54,931 Not knowing her was part of my identity, almost. 185 00:06:54,966 --> 00:06:58,385 And now all of that was about to change. 186 00:07:02,507 --> 00:07:04,174 (Sighs) 187 00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:06,927 (Rings doorbell) 188 00:07:06,961 --> 00:07:08,895 (Latch clicks) 189 00:07:08,930 --> 00:07:10,163 (Door creaks) 190 00:07:10,198 --> 00:07:12,849 She's coming. I... I swear she's coming. 191 00:07:12,883 --> 00:07:14,718 I'm just having a hard time getting a hold of her. 192 00:07:19,073 --> 00:07:21,324 Wishbone. I call the wishbone, dad. 193 00:07:21,342 --> 00:07:23,126 - You're not listening to me, mother. - Wishbone, you guys. 194 00:07:23,161 --> 00:07:24,211 Wishbone. I called it. 195 00:07:24,245 --> 00:07:25,846 I don't understand what the problem is. 196 00:07:25,897 --> 00:07:27,998 Malik and I are completely Kool & The Gang. 197 00:07:28,032 --> 00:07:29,166 That is the problem, 198 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,718 is that you're trying too hard to be... down. 199 00:07:31,769 --> 00:07:34,204 (Scoffs) You know, most girls want their mothers 200 00:07:34,238 --> 00:07:35,389 to like their boyfriends. 201 00:07:35,423 --> 00:07:36,807 When we went out for pizza last week, 202 00:07:36,841 --> 00:07:38,392 you told him that he was the keenen ivory Wayans 203 00:07:38,426 --> 00:07:39,693 of opening car doors. 204 00:07:39,744 --> 00:07:41,945 And I completely stand by that! He is! 205 00:07:41,979 --> 00:07:43,530 When your father opens a car door, 206 00:07:43,581 --> 00:07:45,265 his butt be all tight... 207 00:07:45,316 --> 00:07:46,616 (Laughs) No, she's right. 208 00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:49,236 That's how I do it, like my father before me. 209 00:07:49,287 --> 00:07:51,004 (Doorbell rings) That must be Malik. 210 00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:54,307 Well, Lisa, answer the door. 211 00:07:54,342 --> 00:07:56,193 Don't tell me what to do. (Rings) 212 00:07:56,227 --> 00:07:57,327 I'll get it. 213 00:07:57,361 --> 00:07:59,196 (Whispers) Thank you. 214 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:03,567 (Door creaks) How's it going, man? 215 00:08:03,601 --> 00:08:04,918 (Door closes) 216 00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,436 I'm sorry I'm all grubby, Mrs. Shay. 217 00:08:06,470 --> 00:08:08,388 Me and my family just got done playing touch football, 218 00:08:08,439 --> 00:08:10,273 and I didn't want to be late, so I rushed over here. 219 00:08:10,308 --> 00:08:11,508 I brought dress clothes for dinner, though. 220 00:08:11,542 --> 00:08:12,976 Honestly, Malik, 221 00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:15,011 I don't give a rat's ass what you wear to the table. 222 00:08:15,029 --> 00:08:16,513 That better? 223 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,583 Did I do something to make your mom mad? 224 00:08:19,617 --> 00:08:21,201 No. I did. 225 00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:22,152 (Doorbell rings) 226 00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:24,855 - Gobble gobble, George. - Hey, guys. 227 00:08:24,889 --> 00:08:27,290 As people who have been exiled by our own families 228 00:08:27,325 --> 00:08:28,391 just for loving each other, 229 00:08:28,409 --> 00:08:30,043 we're honored to be invited guests 230 00:08:30,078 --> 00:08:31,945 - to your... yeah, yeah. - Alan, kitchen, please? 231 00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:34,931 Okay. (Sighs) Listen... (Pot clatters) 232 00:08:34,965 --> 00:08:38,034 I am a little... overwhelmed here. 233 00:08:38,069 --> 00:08:39,069 Cooking dinner with Dallas 234 00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,822 is a lot like cooking by yourself. Ow. 235 00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:43,373 And the last thing I wanted to do 236 00:08:43,391 --> 00:08:45,709 was cook a Thanksgiving dinner. 237 00:08:45,743 --> 00:08:47,277 Funny. The only thing I wanted to do 238 00:08:47,311 --> 00:08:48,528 was cook a Thanksgiving dinner 239 00:08:48,563 --> 00:08:49,913 until, uh, your depression got in the way. 240 00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:52,399 (Laughs) Well, help a depressed guy out, then. 241 00:08:52,433 --> 00:08:54,668 (Pats arm) I got a couple questions for ya. 242 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,436 Number one... whoa. (Creaks) 243 00:08:56,471 --> 00:08:58,355 I was late getting the bird in the oven, 244 00:08:58,389 --> 00:08:59,639 didn't get to brine it. 245 00:08:59,674 --> 00:09:01,241 Will those little turkey hairs cook off on their own? 246 00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:02,793 - Turkey hairs? - Number two, 247 00:09:02,827 --> 00:09:05,495 the potatoes are too salty. This much I know. (Clatter) 248 00:09:05,530 --> 00:09:06,963 How do I counter the effect? 249 00:09:06,997 --> 00:09:08,815 More potatoes? Water? 250 00:09:08,850 --> 00:09:10,817 Butter? Milk? 251 00:09:10,852 --> 00:09:12,169 Baking soda. 252 00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:13,553 Baking soda! 253 00:09:13,588 --> 00:09:15,238 Wake up, dreamer. 254 00:09:15,273 --> 00:09:17,190 - What? - I thought I was here as guest Alan. 255 00:09:17,225 --> 00:09:19,192 But it's obvious you only see me as Chef Alan. 256 00:09:19,227 --> 00:09:21,595 If you're looking for my professional opinion, 257 00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:22,646 it's gonna cost you. 258 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,581 Oh, really? Okay, how... how much to tell me 259 00:09:24,615 --> 00:09:25,632 what to do with these potatoes? 260 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,367 - $8.- 8 bucks? Are you crazy? 261 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:28,785 I'm a working man. 262 00:09:28,803 --> 00:09:31,521 Besides, I can already tell from the way your eyes lit up 263 00:09:31,539 --> 00:09:34,074 that the correct answer is water. 264 00:09:35,126 --> 00:09:36,126 Huh? 265 00:09:37,612 --> 00:09:38,945 Am I right? 266 00:09:38,980 --> 00:09:41,031 Those are garbage. 267 00:09:41,065 --> 00:09:43,500 ♪ I wouldn't ask for another 268 00:09:43,534 --> 00:09:46,937 (humming "Groove is in the heart") 269 00:09:48,456 --> 00:09:51,842 (Water circles drain) 270 00:09:52,910 --> 00:09:54,644 Please don't feel uncomfortable. 271 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:56,196 You'll notice my eyes are locked on yours. 272 00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:57,797 I see that. 273 00:09:57,832 --> 00:09:58,949 I would also like to assure you 274 00:09:58,983 --> 00:10:01,718 that I am very comfortable with the human form. 275 00:10:01,736 --> 00:10:03,637 I once took a life drawing class 276 00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:04,905 where we sketched nude models, 277 00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:06,923 one of whom happened to be Armenian. 278 00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:07,874 And I want you to know 279 00:10:07,909 --> 00:10:09,209 that I have a female pediatrician 280 00:10:09,243 --> 00:10:10,460 who's about your age and also white, 281 00:10:10,495 --> 00:10:11,861 so I'm completely comfortable. 282 00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:14,347 I once worked as a counselor at a summer camp 283 00:10:14,382 --> 00:10:16,433 where I had to perform biweekly tick checks, 284 00:10:16,467 --> 00:10:19,536 and I can assure you I was quite thorough. 285 00:10:19,570 --> 00:10:20,704 I saw everything. 286 00:10:20,738 --> 00:10:22,238 - I was born naked. - Terrific. 287 00:10:22,256 --> 00:10:24,107 And I think we've navigated this quite nicely. 288 00:10:25,676 --> 00:10:27,577 (Screams) 289 00:10:29,981 --> 00:10:32,182 I'd, uh, offer you desert, 290 00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:34,718 but Alex was supposed to bring it. 291 00:10:34,752 --> 00:10:37,504 (Siren wailing in distance) 292 00:10:37,538 --> 00:10:39,406 I have a fruit leather in my purse. 293 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,675 I was gonna save it for my doctor's appointment tomorrow, 294 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:42,809 but you can have it if you like. 295 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:45,061 What flavor? 296 00:10:45,096 --> 00:10:48,098 Uh, I believe it's... apricot. 297 00:10:48,132 --> 00:10:50,466 No, thanks. 298 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:54,671 Uh, I think I'm just gonna head home. 299 00:10:54,689 --> 00:10:57,991 (Sighs) I... I... I don't know what to say, Tessa. 300 00:10:58,042 --> 00:11:00,810 I'm just so disappointed in Alex. 301 00:11:00,845 --> 00:11:02,662 And embarrassed, quite frankly. 302 00:11:02,697 --> 00:11:04,548 I can't imagine what's going through her head. 303 00:11:04,582 --> 00:11:06,032 It's okay. 304 00:11:06,067 --> 00:11:08,885 Maybe it wasn't meant to be. 305 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:12,689 Anyway, dinner was great. 306 00:11:12,723 --> 00:11:14,758 Oh. Oh! 307 00:11:14,792 --> 00:11:17,410 I can only imagine what your father's gonna say 308 00:11:17,445 --> 00:11:19,579 when he hears Alex didn't show up. 309 00:11:19,630 --> 00:11:22,449 Well, he's not gonna hear it from me 'cause... 310 00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,684 I'm in no mood to hear it from him. 311 00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:28,722 - Bye, sweetie. Careful. - (Whispers) Thanks. 312 00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:30,607 She didn't show up. 313 00:11:30,641 --> 00:11:32,709 My mom didn't show up. 314 00:11:32,743 --> 00:11:36,229 I had no idea where she was or what country she was in, 315 00:11:36,264 --> 00:11:38,999 but at this point, it didn't even matter. 316 00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:40,483 (Doorbell rings) 317 00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:43,069 George. 318 00:11:45,656 --> 00:11:46,656 Alex. 319 00:11:50,828 --> 00:11:53,546 (Gasps) You must be Tessa. 320 00:11:54,582 --> 00:11:57,801 Hi. 321 00:11:57,835 --> 00:11:59,336 Wow. 322 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:02,589 She's beautiful. 323 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:03,723 Thank you. 324 00:12:10,211 --> 00:12:12,095 She's in New York with Helen, Alex. 325 00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:13,113 They were both expecting you. 326 00:12:13,147 --> 00:12:14,281 No, that can't be right. 327 00:12:14,315 --> 00:12:15,849 Yes, it's right. 328 00:12:15,883 --> 00:12:17,601 No, I got a fax from my mom 329 00:12:17,635 --> 00:12:19,186 that said Tessa was here in Chatswin, 330 00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:20,737 and then my flight got delayed, 331 00:12:20,788 --> 00:12:22,155 and so I just came straight here. 332 00:12:22,173 --> 00:12:23,289 Who faxes?! 333 00:12:23,308 --> 00:12:26,009 I don't have a cell phone, okay? 334 00:12:26,044 --> 00:12:27,594 Okay. 335 00:12:27,629 --> 00:12:29,179 (Alex) Oh. 336 00:12:29,230 --> 00:12:31,531 Hi, group of people I don't know, 337 00:12:31,565 --> 00:12:33,333 standing in a semicircle, judging me. 338 00:12:33,351 --> 00:12:34,468 (All) Hi. 339 00:12:34,502 --> 00:12:37,154 Alex, we actually do know each other. 340 00:12:37,188 --> 00:12:38,655 Noah Warner. 341 00:12:38,690 --> 00:12:40,507 I met and judged you years ago. 342 00:12:41,943 --> 00:12:43,076 Ugh! 343 00:12:43,111 --> 00:12:45,028 (Muffled voice) How can I be so stupid? 344 00:12:45,063 --> 00:12:47,531 Everything I touch turns to garbage! 345 00:12:47,582 --> 00:12:49,049 - Sweetie, it can't be that bad. - Unbelievable. 346 00:12:49,083 --> 00:12:51,785 - (Dalia) That sucks. - (Alex) Oh. (Crying) 347 00:12:52,347 --> 00:12:55,950 George, can I talk to you for a minute? 348 00:12:57,502 --> 00:13:00,554 George, I can't believe you're being so cold. 349 00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:04,008 That poor woman is obviously sorry about her mistake. 350 00:13:04,042 --> 00:13:06,126 And look at her. She's beside herself. (Moaning) 351 00:13:06,144 --> 00:13:07,912 Dallas, trust me, you can't get sucked in. 352 00:13:07,946 --> 00:13:09,497 (Lowered voice) This... this is what Alex does. 353 00:13:09,531 --> 00:13:12,099 She's irresponsible. She hurts other people, 354 00:13:12,134 --> 00:13:15,152 and... and then... and then she acts like she's the victim. 355 00:13:15,204 --> 00:13:17,004 In the end, you're so busy comforting her 356 00:13:17,038 --> 00:13:19,006 that you forget that she is the one that screwed up. 357 00:13:19,024 --> 00:13:20,358 She's the one that caused it. 358 00:13:20,392 --> 00:13:21,459 Do you underst... 359 00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,646 Well, don't you feel just a little bit sorry for her? 360 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,514 It had to be hard for her to show up here. 361 00:13:27,566 --> 00:13:28,499 Hard for her? 362 00:13:28,550 --> 00:13:30,451 Dallas, Tessa showed up in New York 363 00:13:30,469 --> 00:13:32,603 expecting to meet her mother, okay? 364 00:13:32,638 --> 00:13:34,372 That's who I feel sorry for... my kid. 365 00:13:34,406 --> 00:13:35,556 Alex is not my kid. 366 00:13:35,591 --> 00:13:37,508 She was supposed to be the mother... of my kid. 367 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:38,693 I gotta call Tessa. 368 00:13:41,413 --> 00:13:42,964 I'm sorry about the wishbone, dad. 369 00:13:42,998 --> 00:13:44,565 I just really need it for something important 370 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,567 - I'm trying to do this year. - Mm? 371 00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:49,787 I want to make love to our neighbor. 372 00:13:49,821 --> 00:13:51,171 Paul Biederman? 373 00:13:51,189 --> 00:13:52,607 Dessert already? 374 00:13:52,641 --> 00:13:54,208 Have you had your fill, mother, 375 00:13:54,243 --> 00:13:56,227 or would you care for some more dark meat? 376 00:13:56,261 --> 00:13:57,762 Okay, Lisa... (Utensil clanks) 377 00:13:57,813 --> 00:13:58,813 let's have out with it 378 00:13:58,847 --> 00:14:00,197 so these boys can eat my pie in peace. 379 00:14:00,249 --> 00:14:01,165 Yeah, let's have out with it! 380 00:14:01,199 --> 00:14:02,916 Fred, Ryan, 381 00:14:02,935 --> 00:14:04,435 I saw Malik naked. 382 00:14:04,486 --> 00:14:06,203 Big whoop! It was no big deal. 383 00:14:06,238 --> 00:14:07,838 Well, it wasn't a small deal. 384 00:14:07,873 --> 00:14:10,191 Okay. Okay, okay. (Laughter) 385 00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:11,993 I went in to put some fresh towels in the bathroom, 386 00:14:12,027 --> 00:14:13,577 and he was getting out of the shower. 387 00:14:13,612 --> 00:14:15,396 It was an accidental sighting, and Malik knows that. 388 00:14:15,430 --> 00:14:17,148 Oh, come on. Malik was born naked. 389 00:14:17,199 --> 00:14:18,282 Okay, well, it might not be a big deal 390 00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:19,450 to anybody else at this table... 391 00:14:19,501 --> 00:14:20,952 Well, it wasn't a small ding-a-ling! 392 00:14:21,003 --> 00:14:22,720 (Laughter) 393 00:14:22,771 --> 00:14:24,872 Okay, this is a deal-breaker. You hear me? 394 00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,290 - A deal-breaker! - Wait, Lisa, hold on. 395 00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:27,792 - No, no. - Stop. 396 00:14:27,843 --> 00:14:28,759 (Door opens) 397 00:14:28,794 --> 00:14:30,227 (Sighs) (Door closes) 398 00:14:30,262 --> 00:14:32,346 Well, I suppose it isn't Thanksgiving at the Shays' 399 00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:34,415 until someone shows off their naked body. 400 00:14:34,449 --> 00:14:36,600 (Laughs) What?! 401 00:14:45,577 --> 00:14:47,161 In some ways, I was relieved. 402 00:14:47,179 --> 00:14:49,013 Maybe the whole change thing is overrated. 403 00:14:49,064 --> 00:14:51,248 I was still the girl who hadn't met her mother, 404 00:14:51,283 --> 00:14:53,084 and there was comfort in that. 405 00:14:53,135 --> 00:14:54,635 She's a real hard worker. 406 00:14:54,670 --> 00:14:56,253 In fact, for as long as I've been dealing, 407 00:14:56,305 --> 00:14:58,472 none of my employees have ever pushed 408 00:14:58,490 --> 00:15:01,459 the amount of crystal rock she has. 409 00:15:01,493 --> 00:15:03,311 Tessa's very much like a man. 410 00:15:03,345 --> 00:15:05,863 She dresses like a man, but she's smaller than a man. 411 00:15:05,897 --> 00:15:08,649 She's like a man trapped in a small boy's body. 412 00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:10,835 There he is now. 413 00:15:12,471 --> 00:15:14,588 Hey, everyone. 414 00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:18,876 Dallas. Dalia. Noah. Mr. Wolfe. 415 00:15:22,347 --> 00:15:24,631 - You must be Alex. - Yeah. 416 00:15:24,649 --> 00:15:28,152 This exactly how I imagined us always meeting, 417 00:15:28,186 --> 00:15:30,637 in a roomful of people we're not related to. 418 00:15:30,655 --> 00:15:33,074 The only person missing is Chef Alan. 419 00:15:33,108 --> 00:15:34,308 Oh, I'm here, Tessa. 420 00:15:34,326 --> 00:15:37,661 Oh. Of course. Terrific. 421 00:15:37,696 --> 00:15:40,147 I'm gonna be in my room. 422 00:15:43,239 --> 00:15:44,705 She saluted? Why did she salute? 423 00:15:44,740 --> 00:15:46,429 Honestly, I don't know. 424 00:15:47,041 --> 00:15:48,784 And she hasn't been part of the military at any point? 425 00:15:48,786 --> 00:15:51,833 What? No. No. She probably felt awkward. 426 00:15:51,746 --> 00:15:54,698 Well, it was awkward. 427 00:15:54,732 --> 00:15:55,916 You know, I should probably just go. 428 00:15:55,950 --> 00:15:56,917 I'll call you a cab. 429 00:15:56,951 --> 00:15:58,452 Wait, no, George, no. 430 00:15:58,503 --> 00:16:01,071 This is a make-or-break moment for Tessa. 431 00:16:01,089 --> 00:16:02,956 Alex needs to get up there and make this right. 432 00:16:03,007 --> 00:16:05,459 If it doesn't happen now, it may never happen. 433 00:16:08,212 --> 00:16:09,346 She's right. 434 00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:10,697 Alex, Tessa needs you, 435 00:16:10,732 --> 00:16:12,866 so you need to find a way to reach her. 436 00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,384 Take her this. It's... it's her favorite. 437 00:16:14,418 --> 00:16:16,036 George... 438 00:16:16,070 --> 00:16:17,804 I didn't make it. 439 00:16:17,839 --> 00:16:20,223 Um, hello! It's kind of hard to have a conversation 440 00:16:20,257 --> 00:16:22,476 - with the back of your head. - There's nothing to discuss. 441 00:16:22,527 --> 00:16:23,727 Lisa! Look at me. 442 00:16:23,761 --> 00:16:25,729 Every time I look at you, 443 00:16:25,763 --> 00:16:28,699 - all I see is my mother seeing you naked. - That doesn't make any sense. 444 00:16:28,733 --> 00:16:30,067 You've gone further with my mother 445 00:16:30,101 --> 00:16:31,485 than I have gone with you. 446 00:16:31,536 --> 00:16:33,103 Well, what do you want me to do? 447 00:16:33,121 --> 00:16:34,938 I want you to leave me alone. 448 00:16:34,956 --> 00:16:36,740 (Scoffs) Really? You're... you're gonna blame me 449 00:16:36,774 --> 00:16:38,108 for something that wasn't my fault? 450 00:16:38,126 --> 00:16:40,711 - It was an accident! - Maybe we were the accident. 451 00:16:40,745 --> 00:16:41,912 You know, maybe we were. 452 00:16:41,946 --> 00:16:44,164 You're really immature, you know that? 453 00:16:44,215 --> 00:16:46,466 You want me to hate your mom? Sorry, I don't. 454 00:16:46,501 --> 00:16:47,784 Grow up. 455 00:16:47,802 --> 00:16:49,119 (Door squeaks) 456 00:16:49,137 --> 00:16:51,088 So I guess we're breaking up?! 457 00:16:51,122 --> 00:16:54,224 (Alexi Murdoch's "Orange sky" playing) 458 00:16:54,258 --> 00:16:56,426 I like your room. 459 00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:57,844 Thanks. 460 00:16:57,895 --> 00:17:00,797 Ooh. 461 00:17:00,815 --> 00:17:02,682 Average Shelf Life, huh? 462 00:17:02,734 --> 00:17:04,267 Pretty solid band. 463 00:17:04,301 --> 00:17:06,820 I mean, their sophomore album wasn't as strong as their debut, 464 00:17:06,854 --> 00:17:09,022 but that pretty much happens to everyone, right? 465 00:17:09,073 --> 00:17:10,140 Yeah. 466 00:17:10,174 --> 00:17:12,159 They tried to go electronic on this one track, 467 00:17:12,193 --> 00:17:14,161 and it totally didn't work. 468 00:17:14,195 --> 00:17:15,829 Yeah. 469 00:17:17,281 --> 00:17:21,151 Oh... (Sighs) I'm really jet-lagged. 470 00:17:21,169 --> 00:17:25,789 I feel like I'm... in a dream or something. 471 00:17:25,823 --> 00:17:27,924 You can lay on my bed if you want. 472 00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:30,560 Nah, I prefer the floor. 473 00:17:30,595 --> 00:17:33,647 It grounds you. You should try it. 474 00:17:33,801 --> 00:17:36,586 I do it all the time, no matter where I am. 475 00:17:36,621 --> 00:17:38,255 Even public bathrooms? 476 00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:41,007 No, not anymore. That's how you get ringworm. 477 00:17:41,042 --> 00:17:42,325 (Laughs) 478 00:17:47,348 --> 00:17:50,133 ♪ Well, I had a dream, I 479 00:17:50,151 --> 00:17:52,352 ♪ stood beneath an orange sky 480 00:17:52,403 --> 00:17:54,287 I'm really sorry for the mix-up today. 481 00:17:54,322 --> 00:17:55,906 It's okay. 482 00:18:00,177 --> 00:18:01,828 I thought you'd changed your mind. 483 00:18:01,862 --> 00:18:03,863 Changed my mind? 484 00:18:03,915 --> 00:18:06,783 Tessa, I never meant for things 485 00:18:06,817 --> 00:18:08,151 to go the way they did, you know? 486 00:18:08,169 --> 00:18:10,003 And there's not a day that goes by 487 00:18:10,037 --> 00:18:11,955 - when I don't think about you... - We don't really need to talk about this 488 00:18:11,989 --> 00:18:13,707 right now. 489 00:18:13,758 --> 00:18:15,692 Okay. 490 00:18:17,628 --> 00:18:21,631 You know, I'm kind of surprised that the kids here 491 00:18:21,666 --> 00:18:23,216 are listening to Average Shelf Life. 492 00:18:23,267 --> 00:18:25,552 It doesn't really seem like an "A.S.L." town, you know? 493 00:18:25,603 --> 00:18:29,189 It's not. But they've always been my favorite band. 494 00:18:29,223 --> 00:18:31,825 Ever since I saw them perform at the... 495 00:18:31,859 --> 00:18:35,562 (snores loudly) 496 00:18:37,898 --> 00:18:39,449 (Laughs) 497 00:18:39,483 --> 00:18:40,516 How messed up would that be 498 00:18:40,534 --> 00:18:42,819 if I actually fell asleep right then? 499 00:18:42,853 --> 00:18:45,956 (Both laugh) 500 00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:49,960 Is it tough for you, fitting in here? 501 00:18:49,994 --> 00:18:52,528 Yeah. 502 00:18:52,546 --> 00:18:53,496 (Snores loudly) 503 00:18:53,530 --> 00:18:54,998 (Both laugh) 504 00:18:55,032 --> 00:19:00,370 ♪ Oh, but you know I am so weary ♪ 505 00:19:00,388 --> 00:19:01,421 (Tessa and Alex laughing) 506 00:19:01,455 --> 00:19:02,722 ♪ And you know my heart 507 00:19:02,757 --> 00:19:06,893 (crying) * my heart's been broken now 508 00:19:08,212 --> 00:19:13,683 ♪ sometimes, sometimes my mind is too strong ♪ 509 00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:15,718 Sometimes the big moments you picture in your mind 510 00:19:15,736 --> 00:19:17,553 don't turn out the way you think they will. (Laughs) 511 00:19:17,571 --> 00:19:19,889 But if you unexpectedly get a second chance 512 00:19:19,907 --> 00:19:20,857 to make things right, 513 00:19:20,891 --> 00:19:22,442 you should probably take it. 514 00:19:22,493 --> 00:19:25,745 ♪ In your love my salvation lies ♪ 515 00:19:25,780 --> 00:19:29,165 ♪ in your love my salvation lies ♪ 516 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:32,902 ♪ in your love my salvation lies ♪ 517 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:36,256 Hey. Everything... Kajagoogoo up there? 518 00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:37,407 What? 519 00:19:37,425 --> 00:19:39,843 Everything was fine, 520 00:19:39,877 --> 00:19:41,428 if that's what you're asking. 521 00:19:41,462 --> 00:19:42,412 Yeah. (Laughs) 522 00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:43,596 Yeah. 523 00:19:43,631 --> 00:19:45,749 (Mouth full) She kept pretending to fall asleep, 524 00:19:45,783 --> 00:19:47,967 and then she actually fell asleep. 525 00:19:48,019 --> 00:19:49,853 We got to talk a bunch, though. 526 00:19:49,887 --> 00:19:52,022 (Crunches) 527 00:19:52,056 --> 00:19:53,523 She seems pretty cool. 528 00:19:53,557 --> 00:19:56,026 Is it okay if she stays over? 529 00:19:56,060 --> 00:19:58,395 I just don't want to wake her up to tell her to leave. 530 00:19:58,429 --> 00:20:00,063 She'll get going in the morning. 531 00:20:00,097 --> 00:20:02,298 Yeah, fine. That's fine. 532 00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:04,901 Thanks... 533 00:20:04,935 --> 00:20:08,604 Dad, for, like... letting all this happen. 534 00:20:08,622 --> 00:20:10,390 You don't have to thank me. 535 00:20:10,504 --> 00:20:14,574 I'm not gonna be an obstacle in this. 536 00:20:14,625 --> 00:20:15,892 You'll see. 537 00:20:17,962 --> 00:20:22,165 All I ever want is for you to be happy. 538 00:20:22,199 --> 00:20:24,867 I'm happy. 539 00:20:24,885 --> 00:20:27,837 Good. Good. 540 00:20:27,871 --> 00:20:29,255 (Dish clatters) 541 00:20:31,675 --> 00:20:33,075 Really happy. 542 00:20:33,093 --> 00:20:37,213 Holy crap! Did you cook this? This is stupid good! 543 00:20:37,247 --> 00:20:39,015 I cooked exactly none of that. 544 00:20:39,049 --> 00:20:41,568 Chef Alan practically made everything. 545 00:20:41,602 --> 00:20:43,603 And charged me through the nose for it. 546 00:20:43,637 --> 00:20:45,271 In that case, I'm gonna have to make a plate. 547 00:20:45,306 --> 00:20:47,423 Yeah, me, too. I think I'll join you. 548 00:20:47,441 --> 00:20:51,561 I was so stressed out tonight, I barely had a bite. 549 00:20:51,595 --> 00:20:53,429 Let me try this. 550 00:20:56,367 --> 00:20:57,283 (Mouth full) Stupid good. 551 00:20:57,318 --> 00:20:58,267 Mm-hmm. (Laughs) 552 00:20:58,285 --> 00:21:00,252 - You want some turkey? - Yeah. 553 00:21:00,253 --> 00:21:07,392 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -