1 00:00:01,958 --> 00:00:02,931 Tessa: Change is a part of life. 2 00:00:02,949 --> 00:00:04,403 It's inevitable. 3 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,213 The trees don't apologize when they change, 4 00:00:06,248 --> 00:00:07,582 so why should I? 5 00:00:07,617 --> 00:00:09,804 I'm not sure I've ever known the calm I feel 6 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,174 when lying in a pile of crisp fall leaves. 7 00:00:13,209 --> 00:00:15,226 It's as though... 8 00:00:15,261 --> 00:00:17,005 (Spits) 9 00:00:17,057 --> 00:00:19,776 (Coughing) 10 00:00:20,736 --> 00:00:22,377 Something crawled down my throat. 11 00:00:22,412 --> 00:00:25,165 Ugh. Something leggy. 12 00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:27,148 Let's go inside, Lisa. 13 00:00:27,184 --> 00:00:29,236 I don't have any more clarity now 14 00:00:29,270 --> 00:00:32,793 than I did before whatever that was crawled down your throat. 15 00:00:32,828 --> 00:00:35,342 I just... 16 00:00:35,376 --> 00:00:37,993 don't know how George is gonna feel about this. 17 00:00:38,028 --> 00:00:40,370 Tessa, you've spent 16 consecutive thanksgivings 18 00:00:40,422 --> 00:00:41,978 tethered to that man's teat. 19 00:00:42,013 --> 00:00:44,543 Just this once your mother, who you've never met, 20 00:00:44,579 --> 00:00:47,879 - is flying in from Berlin... - Exactly. 21 00:00:47,913 --> 00:00:51,726 And it's really important to my grandmother. 22 00:00:51,778 --> 00:00:53,642 It's too bad we didn't have more of a heads-up. 23 00:00:53,677 --> 00:00:55,746 Could have made a great human interest piece. 24 00:00:55,781 --> 00:00:58,106 I could have reached out to Connie Chung, Hugh Downs... 25 00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:00,483 God. I wish Donahue was still in the game. 26 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:03,579 Phil would have handled this right. 27 00:01:04,072 --> 00:01:06,124 Oh, so I was thinking... (Utensils clatter) 28 00:01:06,159 --> 00:01:08,877 we do all our Thanksgiving traditions the day before. 29 00:01:08,930 --> 00:01:11,050 We drive into the city, see the floats, all that jazz, 30 00:01:11,085 --> 00:01:13,991 then day of, we hit the Royces'. 31 00:01:14,026 --> 00:01:15,411 Cool. 32 00:01:15,463 --> 00:01:17,908 It's gonna be smaller this year. Just our two families. 33 00:01:17,961 --> 00:01:20,576 That's fine, George. Whatever you wanna do... 34 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,057 (Under breath) because I might not be here. 35 00:01:25,093 --> 00:01:27,879 (Refrigerator closes) And no costumes this time. I made Dallas promise. 36 00:01:27,898 --> 00:01:29,658 What... sorry? 37 00:01:29,693 --> 00:01:32,002 Did you just say you might not be here? 38 00:01:32,054 --> 00:01:33,797 Where might you be? 39 00:01:33,833 --> 00:01:36,654 So... it's like this, okay? 40 00:01:36,706 --> 00:01:38,860 (Pats legs) Uh, my mother, as it turns out, 41 00:01:38,895 --> 00:01:42,161 is flying into New York on Thursday 42 00:01:42,196 --> 00:01:44,538 to be with my grandmother for the holidays. 43 00:01:44,573 --> 00:01:47,890 And... they were wondering 44 00:01:47,926 --> 00:01:52,440 if... I might now be at an age... 45 00:01:52,474 --> 00:01:55,313 where I'm interested in... joining them. 46 00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:58,323 I see, and are you... 47 00:01:58,342 --> 00:02:02,292 at an age where you might be interested in joining them? 48 00:02:03,370 --> 00:02:04,823 I am. 49 00:02:07,492 --> 00:02:09,235 Well, that's fantastic. 50 00:02:09,271 --> 00:02:10,931 That's great. 51 00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:13,279 Hey, I... you know... you know... you know... (Chuckles) 52 00:02:13,314 --> 00:02:16,152 you don't have to act like you gotta break it to me gently, 53 00:02:16,171 --> 00:02:18,068 or it's something I don't wanna hear. 54 00:02:18,103 --> 00:02:19,094 I'm all for it. (Clatters) 55 00:02:19,129 --> 00:02:20,838 You know, I... I think it's great 56 00:02:20,873 --> 00:02:23,079 that Alex is finally making an effort. 57 00:02:23,132 --> 00:02:25,149 Burn. 58 00:02:25,184 --> 00:02:26,363 What's that? 59 00:02:26,398 --> 00:02:28,572 - I said "burn." - Burn? 60 00:02:28,608 --> 00:02:31,650 Yeah, it's like you can't resist going after Alex. 61 00:02:31,669 --> 00:02:33,395 "Finally making an effort"? 62 00:02:33,430 --> 00:02:34,764 That's an impartial fact. 63 00:02:34,799 --> 00:02:36,986 Unless there were some prior overtures 64 00:02:37,005 --> 00:02:38,766 that I wasn't privy to. 65 00:02:38,801 --> 00:02:41,520 Why are you talking like you're on trial for witchcraft? 66 00:02:41,555 --> 00:02:44,752 O... okay, but for the record, in the city of Salem, 67 00:02:44,787 --> 00:02:46,531 I'm not the one that would be on trial! 68 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:49,576 (Lid snaps) That was a burn. 69 00:02:49,913 --> 00:02:52,097 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 70 00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:56,314 [Alih Jay] ♪ last night I had a pleasant nightmare ♪ 71 00:02:56,335 --> 00:02:59,454 2x05 The Wishbone 72 00:03:00,087 --> 00:03:02,904 This year's Thanksgiving is gonna have a Caribbean theme, 73 00:03:02,922 --> 00:03:05,340 so I'm gonna need you to use the word "mon" a lot. 74 00:03:05,374 --> 00:03:06,608 For instance, 75 00:03:06,642 --> 00:03:09,744 "sorry me mashed potatoes be so clumpy, mon." 76 00:03:09,762 --> 00:03:11,513 "Clumpy, mon." 77 00:03:11,547 --> 00:03:12,797 I also don't need to remind you 78 00:03:12,848 --> 00:03:15,100 that I'm severely allergic to anything nasty. 79 00:03:15,134 --> 00:03:17,268 So all the food you cook should be good-tasting 80 00:03:17,303 --> 00:03:19,921 or not nasty when at all possible. 81 00:03:19,939 --> 00:03:21,356 "Not nasty." 82 00:03:21,390 --> 00:03:24,425 All right. Is there anything else before I start shopping? 83 00:03:24,443 --> 00:03:25,610 Alan, you're fired! 84 00:03:25,644 --> 00:03:27,261 Mommy, he didn't mess up yet. 85 00:03:27,279 --> 00:03:29,781 This isn't performance-related, it's George Altman-related. 86 00:03:29,815 --> 00:03:31,366 Boo got bad news. 87 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,319 Tessa isn't gonna be here for Thanksgiving. 88 00:03:34,353 --> 00:03:35,637 You said bad news. 89 00:03:35,671 --> 00:03:38,073 George is thinking about skipping the holiday altogether. 90 00:03:38,107 --> 00:03:39,874 We need to rally around him, Dalia. 91 00:03:39,909 --> 00:03:40,959 Start our own tradition. 92 00:03:40,993 --> 00:03:42,327 Of firing loyal employees? 93 00:03:42,378 --> 00:03:43,945 Alan, hush! 94 00:03:43,963 --> 00:03:45,630 We're gonna keep George occupied 95 00:03:45,664 --> 00:03:48,449 by cooking our own Thanksgiving meal together. 96 00:03:48,467 --> 00:03:50,301 Well, I guess I'll stop streaming 97 00:03:50,336 --> 00:03:51,803 "Cool Runnings" to my phone... 98 00:03:51,837 --> 00:03:55,724 even though it's already halfway downloaded. 99 00:03:55,758 --> 00:03:56,758 There. 100 00:03:58,427 --> 00:03:59,961 How are those veggies coming, Denzel? 101 00:03:59,979 --> 00:04:02,564 - I'm grating cheese, actually, but... - Almost done, Mrs. Shay. 102 00:04:02,598 --> 00:04:06,184 Yeah, you can handle whatever I throw at ya. (Laughs) 103 00:04:06,235 --> 00:04:07,569 Hey, how 'bout some tunes? 104 00:04:07,603 --> 00:04:08,937 Yeah. 105 00:04:12,241 --> 00:04:15,410 [ "Groove is in the Heart" by Deee-Lite plays ] 106 00:04:15,444 --> 00:04:18,079 ♪ 107 00:04:18,114 --> 00:04:20,314 Whoo! 108 00:04:20,332 --> 00:04:22,534 ♪ 109 00:04:22,585 --> 00:04:23,835 (Laughs) Whoo! 110 00:04:23,869 --> 00:04:26,204 Hey, some people are trying to shuck here. 111 00:04:26,255 --> 00:04:28,173 This is like "The Big Chill." 112 00:04:28,207 --> 00:04:29,924 ♪ The chills that you spill ♪ 113 00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:31,543 ♪ up my back keep me filled ♪ - okay, that's enough. 114 00:04:31,594 --> 00:04:32,844 (Music stops) Just stop. 115 00:04:32,878 --> 00:04:35,847 Malik, I am just gonna come right out and ask you. 116 00:04:35,881 --> 00:04:37,799 Will you share Thanksgiving dinner with our family? 117 00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:39,434 - Mother. - Well, look at his pile! 118 00:04:39,468 --> 00:04:40,852 He's the T.I. of green beans! 119 00:04:40,886 --> 00:04:42,270 No, she's right. He is. 120 00:04:42,304 --> 00:04:44,222 He's earned it. He's earned a place at our table. 121 00:04:44,306 --> 00:04:46,141 Well, I am sure that Malik would love to join us. 122 00:04:46,175 --> 00:04:48,943 But sadly, he'll be eating dinner with his own family. 123 00:04:48,978 --> 00:04:50,395 Actually, my family eats really early, 124 00:04:50,446 --> 00:04:52,346 so I could probably make it to both dinners. 125 00:04:52,364 --> 00:04:53,698 Well, that's fantastic, Malik. 126 00:04:53,732 --> 00:04:55,116 Then it's settled. 127 00:04:55,151 --> 00:04:57,852 Guess who's coming to dinner, Lisa?! 128 00:04:57,887 --> 00:05:00,038 (Fred and Sheila laugh) 129 00:05:00,072 --> 00:05:02,957 (Sports game playing on TV) Alex better not foul this up, 130 00:05:02,992 --> 00:05:04,542 - you know? - I couldn't agree more. 131 00:05:04,577 --> 00:05:06,177 Her pass rush killed Tebow last year. 132 00:05:06,212 --> 00:05:08,246 - Alex's did? - Wha... yep. 133 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,632 - You're not listening to me, are you? - I'm... see, in my... 134 00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:14,819 What I meant to say was... Alex. Okay. 135 00:05:14,853 --> 00:05:16,787 In my mind, Alex is Michael Vick. 136 00:05:16,822 --> 00:05:17,771 What? 137 00:05:17,789 --> 00:05:20,224 She screwed up. 138 00:05:20,258 --> 00:05:23,144 Things got ugly. Dogs died. 139 00:05:23,178 --> 00:05:25,329 No one's saying they didn't. 140 00:05:25,364 --> 00:05:28,299 But... he was given a second chance, 141 00:05:28,350 --> 00:05:29,633 and he proved himself. 142 00:05:29,685 --> 00:05:31,702 In fact, he went on to have his best year ever. 143 00:05:31,737 --> 00:05:35,940 So if you open the door for Alex, you know... 144 00:05:35,974 --> 00:05:38,025 Who knows? 145 00:05:38,059 --> 00:05:39,410 Alex is Michael Vick? 146 00:05:39,461 --> 00:05:41,595 (Whispers) Alex is Michael Vick. 147 00:05:41,930 --> 00:05:43,731 No wonder things didn't work out between us. (Laughs) (Door opens) 148 00:05:43,765 --> 00:05:45,366 Dallas: (singsongy) Happy Thanksgiving! (Door closes) 149 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,084 - George! - Oh, hey, baby. 150 00:05:47,118 --> 00:05:48,085 - Hi! - Hi. 151 00:05:48,119 --> 00:05:49,103 (Kisses) Mmm. 152 00:05:49,137 --> 00:05:50,671 Noah. 153 00:05:50,689 --> 00:05:52,323 Gobble gobble, Dallas! 154 00:05:52,357 --> 00:05:54,775 Oh, yes, absolutely. Gobble gobble to you and yours. 155 00:05:54,809 --> 00:05:55,793 Is she here? 156 00:05:55,827 --> 00:05:57,127 Who, Jill? My better half? 157 00:05:57,162 --> 00:05:59,313 No, she's still away on her book tour. 158 00:05:59,347 --> 00:06:00,648 I meant Carmen, 159 00:06:00,682 --> 00:06:03,283 my better half and former housekeeper that you stole. 160 00:06:03,318 --> 00:06:05,485 Oh, Carmen. Right. 161 00:06:05,503 --> 00:06:08,822 No, she took the baby to see a witch doctor in Yonkers. 162 00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:11,258 (Chuckles) She's convinced he's possessed. 163 00:06:11,292 --> 00:06:12,343 Me, I don't see it. 164 00:06:12,377 --> 00:06:13,427 And Jenna? 165 00:06:13,461 --> 00:06:16,463 Oh, she went home with a brown friend. 166 00:06:16,697 --> 00:06:18,415 A friend from Brown. 167 00:06:18,466 --> 00:06:19,449 Some Chinese kid. 168 00:06:19,484 --> 00:06:22,636 Wow. So we have you all to ourselves. 169 00:06:22,670 --> 00:06:23,637 Lucky, lucky us. 170 00:06:23,671 --> 00:06:25,639 All right, guys. Uh, hey, 171 00:06:25,673 --> 00:06:28,208 thank you for being here. It means a lot. (Door opens) 172 00:06:28,226 --> 00:06:29,560 Ready to start cooking? 173 00:06:29,594 --> 00:06:32,229 (Wheels rolling) Mommy, here's the wardrobe. 174 00:06:32,263 --> 00:06:34,181 (Gasps) Dalia! 175 00:06:34,215 --> 00:06:37,150 This is a little risque for Thanksgiving, isn't it? 176 00:06:37,185 --> 00:06:39,719 Look! They're all backless. 177 00:06:39,737 --> 00:06:42,155 (Singsongy) Uh-oh. Naughty. 178 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,307 As I rode the elevator up to the ninth floor... 179 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,243 (Bell dings) of my grandmother's apartment building, 180 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,011 I thought about it... 181 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,013 the girl who'd never met her mother 182 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,882 was about to be no more. 183 00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,683 It was weird. 184 00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:03,422 Not knowing her was part of my identity, almost. 185 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:07,192 And now all of that was about to change. 186 00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:13,265 (Sighs) 187 00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:16,168 (Rings doorbell) 188 00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:18,270 (Latch clicks) 189 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:19,604 (Door creaks) 190 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,374 She's coming. I... I swear she's coming. 191 00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:24,476 I'm just having a hard time getting a hold of her. 192 00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:31,316 Wishbone. I call the wishbone, dad. 193 00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,185 - You're not listening to me, mother. - Wishbone, you guys. 194 00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:34,352 Wishbone. I called it. 195 00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:36,054 I don't understand what the problem is. 196 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:38,290 Malik and I are completely Kool & The Gang. 197 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:39,524 That is the problem, 198 00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:42,194 is that you're trying too hard to be... down. 199 00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:44,796 (Scoffs) You know, most girls want their mothers 200 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,031 to like their boyfriends. 201 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,466 When we went out for pizza last week, 202 00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:49,201 you told him that he was the Keenen Ivory Wayans 203 00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:50,569 of opening car doors. 204 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,904 And I completely stand by that! He is! 205 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,606 When your father opens a car door, 206 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,408 his butt be all tight... 207 00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:57,876 (Laughs) No, she's right. 208 00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,645 That's how I do it, like my father before me. 209 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,547 (Doorbell rings) That must be Malik. 210 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,917 Well, Lisa, answer the door. 211 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,919 Don't tell me what to do. (Rings) 212 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,120 I'll get it. 213 00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,089 (Whispers) Thank you. 214 00:08:14,393 --> 00:08:15,627 (Door creaks) How's it going, man? 215 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:17,062 (Door closes) 216 00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:18,597 I'm sorry I'm all grubby, Mrs. Shay. 217 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,632 Me and my family just got done playing touch football, 218 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,601 and I didn't want to be late, so I rushed over here. 219 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:23,935 I brought dress clothes for dinner, though. 220 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,437 Honestly, Malik, 221 00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:27,639 I don't give a rat's ass what you wear to the table. 222 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,241 That better? 223 00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:32,410 Did I do something to make your mom mad? 224 00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,112 No. I did. 225 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,180 (Doorbell rings) 226 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,916 - Gobble gobble, George. - Hey, guys. 227 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,452 As people who have been exiled by our own families 228 00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:41,620 just for loving each other, 229 00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,355 we're honored to be invited guests 230 00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,457 - to your... yeah, yeah. - Alan, kitchen, please? 231 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,426 Okay. (Sighs) Listen... (Pot clatters) 232 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:51,663 I am a little... overwhelmed here. 233 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:52,764 Cooking dinner with Dallas 234 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:55,667 is a lot like cooking by yourself. Ow. 235 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,269 And the last thing I wanted to do 236 00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:59,771 was cook a Thanksgiving dinner. 237 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:01,406 Funny. The only thing I wanted to do 238 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:02,741 was cook a Thanksgiving dinner 239 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,175 until, uh, your depression got in the way. 240 00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,745 (Laughs) Well, help a depressed guy out, then. 241 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:09,080 (Pats arm) I got a couple questions for ya. 242 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,916 Number one... whoa. (Creaks) 243 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,884 I was late getting the bird in the oven, 244 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,219 didn't get to brine it. 245 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,954 Will those little turkey hairs cook off on their own? 246 00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:17,522 - Turkey hairs? - Number two, 247 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:20,358 the potatoes are too salty. This much I know. (Clatter) 248 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,860 How do I counter the effect? 249 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:23,862 More potatoes? Water? 250 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,964 Butter? Milk? 251 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,332 Baking soda. 252 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,800 Baking soda! 253 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,535 Wake up, dreamer. 254 00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,604 - What? - I thought I was here as guest Alan. 255 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,739 But it's obvious you only see me as Chef Alan. 256 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,309 If you're looking for my professional opinion, 257 00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:38,376 it's gonna cost you. 258 00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,412 Oh, really? Okay, how... how much to tell me 259 00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,479 what to do with these potatoes? 260 00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,348 - $8. - 8 bucks? Are you crazy? 261 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,749 I'm a working man. 262 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,586 Besides, I can already tell from the way your eyes lit up 263 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:50,322 that the correct answer is water. 264 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,457 Huh? 265 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,393 Am I right? 266 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,562 Those are garbage. 267 00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:00,098 ♪ I wouldn't ask for another ♪ 268 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,768 (humming "Groove is in the heart") 269 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,940 (Water circles drain) 270 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,810 Please don't feel uncomfortable. 271 00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,511 You'll notice my eyes are locked on yours. 272 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,180 I see that. 273 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,348 I would also like to assure you 274 00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:19,284 that I am very comfortable with the human form. 275 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,353 I once took a life drawing class 276 00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:22,654 where we sketched nude models, 277 00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:24,789 one of whom happened to be Armenian. 278 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:25,790 And I want you to know 279 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,192 that I have a female pediatrician 280 00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:28,493 who's about your age and also white, 281 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:29,928 so I'm completely comfortable. 282 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:32,564 I once worked as a counselor at a summer camp 283 00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:34,733 where I had to perform biweekly tick checks, 284 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:38,003 and I can assure you I was quite thorough. 285 00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,204 I saw everything. 286 00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,805 - I was born naked. - Terrific. 287 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,807 And I think we've navigated this quite nicely. 288 00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:46,411 (Screams) 289 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:51,149 I'd, uh, offer you desert, 290 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,785 but Alex was supposed to bring it. 291 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,688 (Siren wailing in distance) 292 00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,723 I have a fruit leather in my purse. 293 00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:01,092 I was gonna save it for my doctor's appointment tomorrow, 294 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,293 but you can have it if you like. 295 00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,596 What flavor? 296 00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:07,799 Uh, I believe it's... apricot. 297 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:10,235 No, thanks. 298 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:14,606 Uh, I think I'm just gonna head home. 299 00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:18,009 (Sighs) I... I... I don't know what to say, Tessa. 300 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,879 I'm just so disappointed in Alex. 301 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,781 And embarrassed, quite frankly. 302 00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,716 I can't imagine what's going through her head. 303 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,251 It's okay. 304 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:29,220 Maybe it wasn't meant to be. 305 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:33,124 Anyway, dinner was great. 306 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,226 Oh. Oh! 307 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,962 I can only imagine what your father's gonna say 308 00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:40,198 when he hears Alex didn't show up. 309 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,168 Well, he's not gonna hear it from me 'cause... 310 00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,570 I'm in no mood to hear it from him. 311 00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:49,708 - Bye, sweetie. Careful. - (Whispers) Thanks. 312 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,609 She didn't show up. 313 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,745 My mom didn't show up. 314 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:57,415 I had no idea where she was or what country she was in, 315 00:11:57,417 --> 00:12:00,351 but at this point, it didn't even matter. 316 00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:01,886 (Doorbell rings) 317 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,489 George. 318 00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:08,059 Alex. 319 00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:14,966 (Gasps) You must be Tessa. 320 00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:19,170 Hi. 321 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:20,705 Wow. 322 00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:23,975 She's beautiful. 323 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,176 Thank you. 324 00:12:31,285 --> 00:12:33,913 She's in New York with Helen, Alex. 325 00:12:34,388 --> 00:12:35,587 They were both expecting you. 326 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,788 No, that can't be right. 327 00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,369 Yes, it's right. 328 00:12:38,379 --> 00:12:40,179 No, I got a fax from my mom 329 00:12:40,181 --> 00:12:41,814 that said Tessa was here in Chatswin, 330 00:12:41,816 --> 00:12:43,416 and then my flight got delayed, 331 00:12:43,418 --> 00:12:44,851 and so I just came straight here. 332 00:12:44,853 --> 00:12:46,018 Who faxes?! 333 00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:48,821 I don't have a cell phone, okay? 334 00:12:48,823 --> 00:12:50,456 Okay. 335 00:12:50,458 --> 00:12:52,091 Alex: Oh. 336 00:12:52,093 --> 00:12:54,527 Hi, group of people I don't know, 337 00:12:54,529 --> 00:12:56,429 standing in a semicircle, judging me. 338 00:12:56,431 --> 00:12:57,563 All: Hi. 339 00:12:57,565 --> 00:13:00,333 Alex, we actually do know each other. 340 00:13:00,335 --> 00:13:01,868 Noah Werner. 341 00:13:01,870 --> 00:13:03,803 I met and judged you years ago. 342 00:13:05,205 --> 00:13:06,372 Ugh! 343 00:13:06,374 --> 00:13:08,407 (Muffled voice) How can I be so stupid? 344 00:13:08,409 --> 00:13:10,977 Everything I touch turns to garbage! 345 00:13:10,979 --> 00:13:12,512 - Sweetie, it can't be that bad. - Unbelievable. 346 00:13:12,514 --> 00:13:15,314 Dalia: That sucks. Alex: Oh. (Crying) 347 00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:19,118 George, can I talk to you for a minute? 348 00:13:20,654 --> 00:13:23,756 George, I can't believe you're being so cold. 349 00:13:23,758 --> 00:13:27,326 That poor woman is obviously sorry about her mistake. 350 00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:29,495 And look at her. She's beside herself. (Moaning) 351 00:13:29,497 --> 00:13:31,297 Dallas, trust me, you can't get sucked in. 352 00:13:31,299 --> 00:13:32,932 (Lowered voice) This... this is what Alex does. 353 00:13:32,934 --> 00:13:35,568 She's irresponsible. She hurts other people, 354 00:13:35,570 --> 00:13:38,704 and... and then... and then she acts like she's the victim. 355 00:13:38,706 --> 00:13:40,573 In the end, you're so busy comforting her 356 00:13:40,575 --> 00:13:42,642 that you forget that she is the one that screwed up. 357 00:13:42,644 --> 00:13:44,043 She's the one that caused it. 358 00:13:44,068 --> 00:13:46,068 Do you underst... 359 00:13:47,314 --> 00:13:49,415 Well, don't you feel just a little bit sorry for her? 360 00:13:49,417 --> 00:13:51,350 It had to be hard for her to show up here. 361 00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:52,351 Hard for her? 362 00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:54,420 Dallas, Tessa showed up in New York 363 00:13:54,422 --> 00:13:56,622 expecting to meet her mother, okay? 364 00:13:56,624 --> 00:13:58,424 That's who I feel sorry for... my kid. 365 00:13:58,426 --> 00:13:59,592 Alex is not my kid. 366 00:13:59,594 --> 00:14:01,627 She was supposed to be the mother... of my kid. 367 00:14:01,629 --> 00:14:02,862 I gotta call Tessa. 368 00:14:05,566 --> 00:14:07,133 I'm sorry about the wishbone, dad. 369 00:14:07,135 --> 00:14:08,801 I just really need it for something important 370 00:14:08,803 --> 00:14:10,870 - I'm trying to do this year. - Mm? 371 00:14:10,872 --> 00:14:14,173 I want to make love to our neighbor. 372 00:14:14,175 --> 00:14:15,575 Paul Biederman? 373 00:14:15,577 --> 00:14:17,043 Dessert already? 374 00:14:17,045 --> 00:14:18,678 Have you had your fill, mother, 375 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:20,746 or would you care for some more dark meat? 376 00:14:20,748 --> 00:14:22,315 Okay, Lisa... (Utensil clanks) 377 00:14:22,317 --> 00:14:23,382 let's have out with it 378 00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:24,784 so these boys can eat my pie in peace. 379 00:14:24,786 --> 00:14:25,785 Yeah, let's have out with it! 380 00:14:25,787 --> 00:14:27,587 Fred, Ryan, 381 00:14:27,589 --> 00:14:29,121 I saw Malik naked. 382 00:14:29,123 --> 00:14:30,957 Big whoop! It was no big deal. 383 00:14:30,959 --> 00:14:32,625 Well, it wasn't a small deal. 384 00:14:32,627 --> 00:14:34,994 Okay. Okay, okay. (Laughter) 385 00:14:34,996 --> 00:14:36,863 I went in to put some fresh towels in the bathroom, 386 00:14:36,865 --> 00:14:38,497 and he was getting out of the shower. 387 00:14:38,499 --> 00:14:40,333 It was an accidental sighting, and Malik knows that. 388 00:14:40,335 --> 00:14:42,134 Oh, come on. Malik was born naked. 389 00:14:42,136 --> 00:14:43,302 Okay, well, it might not be a big deal 390 00:14:43,304 --> 00:14:44,503 to anybody else at this table... 391 00:14:44,505 --> 00:14:46,038 Well, it wasn't a small ding-a-ling! 392 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,840 (Laughter) 393 00:14:47,842 --> 00:14:50,009 Okay, this is a deal-breaker. You hear me? 394 00:14:50,011 --> 00:14:51,477 - A deal-breaker! - Wait, Lisa, hold on. 395 00:14:51,479 --> 00:14:53,012 - No, no. - Stop. 396 00:14:53,014 --> 00:14:54,080 (Door opens) 397 00:14:54,082 --> 00:14:55,548 (Sighs) (Door closes) 398 00:14:55,550 --> 00:14:57,683 Well, I suppose it isn't Thanksgiving at the Shays' 399 00:14:57,685 --> 00:14:59,785 until someone shows off their naked body. 400 00:14:59,787 --> 00:15:02,054 (Laughs) What?! 401 00:15:10,398 --> 00:15:11,998 In some ways, I was relieved. 402 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000 Maybe the whole change thing is overrated. 403 00:15:14,102 --> 00:15:16,669 I was still the girl who hadn't met her mother, 404 00:15:16,771 --> 00:15:18,638 and there was comfort in that. 405 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,206 She's a real hard worker. 406 00:15:20,208 --> 00:15:21,874 In fact, for as long as I've been dealing, 407 00:15:21,876 --> 00:15:24,110 none of my employees have ever pushed 408 00:15:24,112 --> 00:15:27,113 the amount of crystal rock she has. 409 00:15:27,115 --> 00:15:29,015 Tessa's very much like a man. 410 00:15:29,017 --> 00:15:31,651 She dresses like a man, but she's smaller than a man. 411 00:15:31,653 --> 00:15:34,453 She's like a man trapped in a small boy's body. 412 00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:36,722 There he is now. 413 00:15:38,325 --> 00:15:40,459 Hey, everyone. 414 00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:44,897 Dallas. Dalia. Noah. Mr. Wolfe. 415 00:15:48,302 --> 00:15:50,636 - You must be Alex. - Yeah. 416 00:15:50,638 --> 00:15:54,240 This exactly how I imagined us always meeting, 417 00:15:54,242 --> 00:15:56,709 in a roomful of people we're not related to. 418 00:15:56,711 --> 00:15:59,145 The only person missing is Chef Alan. 419 00:15:59,147 --> 00:16:00,379 Oh, I'm here, Tessa. 420 00:16:00,381 --> 00:16:03,749 Oh. Of course. Terrific. 421 00:16:03,751 --> 00:16:06,285 I'm gonna be in my room. 422 00:16:10,592 --> 00:16:12,592 She saluted? Why did she salute? 423 00:16:12,894 --> 00:16:14,293 Honestly, I don't know. 424 00:16:14,295 --> 00:16:16,395 And she hasn't been part of the military at any point? 425 00:16:16,397 --> 00:16:19,332 What? No. No. She probably felt awkward. 426 00:16:19,334 --> 00:16:22,268 Well, it was awkward. 427 00:16:22,270 --> 00:16:23,436 You know, I should probably just go. 428 00:16:23,438 --> 00:16:24,437 I'll call you a cab. 429 00:16:24,439 --> 00:16:26,005 Wait, no, George, no. 430 00:16:26,007 --> 00:16:28,607 This is a make-or-break moment for Tessa. 431 00:16:28,609 --> 00:16:30,509 Alex needs to get up there and make this right. 432 00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,912 If it doesn't happen now, it may never happen. 433 00:16:35,682 --> 00:16:36,849 She's right. 434 00:16:36,851 --> 00:16:38,217 Alex, Tessa needs you, 435 00:16:38,219 --> 00:16:40,419 so you need to find a way to reach her. 436 00:16:40,421 --> 00:16:41,887 Take her this. It's... it's her favorite. 437 00:16:41,889 --> 00:16:43,556 George... 438 00:16:43,558 --> 00:16:45,358 I didn't make it. 439 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,760 Um, hello! It's kind of hard to have a conversation 440 00:16:47,762 --> 00:16:50,029 - with the back of your head. - There's nothing to discuss. 441 00:16:50,031 --> 00:16:51,297 Lisa! Look at me. 442 00:16:51,299 --> 00:16:53,366 Every time I look at you, 443 00:16:53,368 --> 00:16:56,335 - all I see is my mother seeing you naked. - That doesn't make any sense. 444 00:16:56,337 --> 00:16:57,670 You've gone further with my mother 445 00:16:57,672 --> 00:16:59,105 than I have gone with you. 446 00:16:59,107 --> 00:17:00,740 Well, what do you want me to do? 447 00:17:00,742 --> 00:17:02,541 I want you to leave me alone. 448 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,310 (Scoffs) Really? You're... you're gonna blame me 449 00:17:04,312 --> 00:17:05,845 for something that wasn't my fault? 450 00:17:05,847 --> 00:17:08,280 - It was an accident! - Maybe we were the accident. 451 00:17:08,282 --> 00:17:09,448 You know, maybe we were. 452 00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:11,784 You're really immature, you know that? 453 00:17:11,786 --> 00:17:14,053 You want me to hate your mom? Sorry, I don't. 454 00:17:14,055 --> 00:17:15,321 Grow up. 455 00:17:15,323 --> 00:17:16,655 (Door squeaks) 456 00:17:16,657 --> 00:17:18,724 So I guess we're breaking up?! 457 00:17:18,726 --> 00:17:21,794 [ "Orange sky" by Alexi Murdoch plays ] 458 00:17:21,796 --> 00:17:23,963 I like your room. 459 00:17:23,965 --> 00:17:25,464 Thanks. 460 00:17:25,466 --> 00:17:28,367 Ooh. 461 00:17:28,369 --> 00:17:30,302 Average Shelf Life, huh? 462 00:17:30,304 --> 00:17:31,871 Pretty solid band. 463 00:17:31,873 --> 00:17:34,440 I mean, their sophomore album wasn't as strong as their debut, 464 00:17:34,442 --> 00:17:36,575 but that pretty much happens to everyone, right? 465 00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:37,710 Yeah. 466 00:17:37,712 --> 00:17:39,712 They tried to go electronic on this one track, 467 00:17:39,714 --> 00:17:41,747 and it totally didn't work. 468 00:17:41,749 --> 00:17:43,315 Yeah. 469 00:17:44,918 --> 00:17:48,788 Oh... (Sighs I'm really jet-lagged. 470 00:17:48,790 --> 00:17:53,426 I feel like I'm... in a dream or something. 471 00:17:53,428 --> 00:17:55,561 You can lay on my bed if you want. 472 00:17:55,563 --> 00:17:58,230 Nah, I prefer the floor. 473 00:17:58,232 --> 00:18:01,367 It grounds you. You should try it. 474 00:18:01,369 --> 00:18:04,070 I do it all the time, no matter where I am. 475 00:18:04,072 --> 00:18:05,838 Even public bathrooms? 476 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,507 No, not anymore. That's how you get ringworm. 477 00:18:08,509 --> 00:18:09,742 (Laughs) 478 00:18:14,915 --> 00:18:17,716 ♪ Well, I had a dream, I ♪ 479 00:18:17,718 --> 00:18:19,919 ♪ stood beneath an orange sky ♪ 480 00:18:19,921 --> 00:18:21,821 I'm really sorry for the mix-up today. 481 00:18:21,823 --> 00:18:23,322 It's okay. 482 00:18:27,661 --> 00:18:29,328 I thought you'd changed your mind. 483 00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:31,397 Changed my mind? 484 00:18:31,399 --> 00:18:34,333 Tessa, I never meant for things 485 00:18:34,335 --> 00:18:35,701 to go the way they did, you know? 486 00:18:35,703 --> 00:18:37,603 And there's not a day that goes by 487 00:18:37,605 --> 00:18:39,472 - when I don't think about you... - We don't really need to talk about this 488 00:18:39,474 --> 00:18:41,207 right now. 489 00:18:41,209 --> 00:18:43,109 Okay. 490 00:18:45,145 --> 00:18:49,148 You know, I'm kind of surprised that the kids here 491 00:18:49,150 --> 00:18:50,816 are listening to Average Shelf Life. 492 00:18:50,818 --> 00:18:53,219 It doesn't really seem like an "A.S.L." town, you know? 493 00:18:53,221 --> 00:18:56,856 It's not. But they've always been my favorite band. 494 00:18:56,858 --> 00:18:59,391 Ever since I saw them perform at the... 495 00:18:59,393 --> 00:19:03,062 (snores loudly) 496 00:19:05,432 --> 00:19:06,999 (Laughs) 497 00:19:07,001 --> 00:19:08,134 How messed up would that be 498 00:19:08,136 --> 00:19:10,402 if I actually fell asleep right then? 499 00:19:10,404 --> 00:19:13,572 (Both laugh) 500 00:19:13,574 --> 00:19:17,543 Is it tough for you, fitting in here? 501 00:19:17,545 --> 00:19:20,079 Yeah. 502 00:19:20,081 --> 00:19:21,080 (Snores loudly) 503 00:19:21,082 --> 00:19:22,648 (Both laugh) 504 00:19:22,650 --> 00:19:27,953 ♪ Oh, but you know I am so weary ♪ 505 00:19:27,955 --> 00:19:29,121 (Tessa and Alex laughing) 506 00:19:29,123 --> 00:19:30,422 ♪ And you know my heart ♪ 507 00:19:30,424 --> 00:19:34,393 (crying) ♪ my heart's been broken now ♪ 508 00:19:35,829 --> 00:19:41,400 ♪ sometimes, sometimes my mind is too strong ♪ 509 00:19:41,402 --> 00:19:43,469 Sometimes the big moments you picture in your mind 510 00:19:43,471 --> 00:19:45,271 don't turn out the way you think they will. (Laughs) 511 00:19:45,273 --> 00:19:47,473 But if you unexpectedly get a second chance 512 00:19:47,475 --> 00:19:48,474 to make things right, 513 00:19:48,476 --> 00:19:50,142 you should probably take it. 514 00:19:50,144 --> 00:19:53,445 ♪ In your love my salvation lies ♪ 515 00:19:53,447 --> 00:19:56,849 ♪ in your love my salvation lies ♪ 516 00:19:56,851 --> 00:20:00,486 ♪ in your love my salvation lies ♪ 517 00:20:00,488 --> 00:20:03,856 Hey. Everything... Kajagoogoo up there? 518 00:20:03,858 --> 00:20:05,024 What? 519 00:20:05,026 --> 00:20:07,493 Everything was fine, 520 00:20:07,495 --> 00:20:08,994 if that's what you're asking. 521 00:20:08,996 --> 00:20:09,995 Yeah. (Laughs) 522 00:20:09,997 --> 00:20:11,263 Yeah. 523 00:20:11,265 --> 00:20:13,399 (Mouth full) She kept pretending to fall asleep, 524 00:20:13,401 --> 00:20:15,601 and then she actually fell asleep. 525 00:20:15,603 --> 00:20:17,469 We got to talk a bunch, though. 526 00:20:17,471 --> 00:20:19,605 (Crunches) 527 00:20:19,607 --> 00:20:21,173 She seems pretty cool. 528 00:20:21,175 --> 00:20:23,642 Is it okay if she stays over? 529 00:20:23,644 --> 00:20:26,011 I just don't want to wake her up to tell her to leave. 530 00:20:26,013 --> 00:20:27,613 She'll get going in the morning. 531 00:20:27,615 --> 00:20:29,882 Yeah, fine. That's fine. 532 00:20:29,884 --> 00:20:32,484 Thanks... 533 00:20:32,486 --> 00:20:36,188 Dad, for, like... letting all this happen. 534 00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:38,023 You don't have to thank me. 535 00:20:38,025 --> 00:20:42,061 I'm not gonna be an obstacle in this. 536 00:20:42,063 --> 00:20:43,295 You'll see. 537 00:20:45,465 --> 00:20:49,702 All I ever want is for you to be happy. 538 00:20:49,704 --> 00:20:52,438 I'm happy. 539 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,374 Good. Good. 540 00:20:55,376 --> 00:20:56,742 (Dish clatters) 541 00:20:59,279 --> 00:21:00,713 Really happy. 542 00:21:00,715 --> 00:21:04,817 Holy crap! Did you cook this? This is stupid good! 543 00:21:04,819 --> 00:21:06,619 I cooked exactly none of that. 544 00:21:06,621 --> 00:21:09,188 Chef Alan practically made everything. 545 00:21:09,190 --> 00:21:11,257 And charged me through the nose for it. 546 00:21:11,259 --> 00:21:12,925 In that case, I'm gonna have to make a plate. 547 00:21:12,927 --> 00:21:15,027 Yeah, me, too. I think I'll join you. 548 00:21:15,029 --> 00:21:19,131 I was so stressed out tonight, I barely had a bite. 549 00:21:19,133 --> 00:21:20,899 Let me try this. 550 00:21:23,870 --> 00:21:24,870 (Mouth full) Stupid good. 551 00:21:24,872 --> 00:21:25,871 Mm-hmm. (Laughs) 552 00:21:25,873 --> 00:21:27,840 - You want some turkey? - Yeah. 553 00:21:28,418 --> 00:21:35,557 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -