1
00:00:00,808 --> 00:00:03,208
Uh... what else? I've seen
Dirty Dancing like 10 times.
2
00:00:03,209 --> 00:00:05,460
Breaks my heart every time, you know?
3
00:00:05,511 --> 00:00:06,911
- Whoa.
- Andy.
4
00:00:06,929 --> 00:00:09,013
That Swayze sure can dance dirty.
5
00:00:09,048 --> 00:00:10,465
Don't you have any sunblock?
6
00:00:10,516 --> 00:00:12,133
No, Walter J has been hoarding it.
7
00:00:12,184 --> 00:00:13,635
You want to worry
about a part of my body,
8
00:00:13,686 --> 00:00:15,353
worry about my eyes.
9
00:00:15,387 --> 00:00:17,772
They're like two flaming
meatballs in my skull.
10
00:00:17,807 --> 00:00:20,341
Last week Andy set sail for the Bahamas
11
00:00:20,376 --> 00:00:22,026
to sell his family's boat,
12
00:00:22,061 --> 00:00:24,229
and he took his brother but not me.
13
00:00:24,263 --> 00:00:26,064
I was kind of sad at first,
14
00:00:26,098 --> 00:00:28,783
but then I remembered
that Bob Marley song--
15
00:00:28,834 --> 00:00:31,703
No, Woman. No Cry.
16
00:00:31,737 --> 00:00:33,004
Check this out.
17
00:00:33,038 --> 00:00:35,507
Keeps my hair out of my stare,
18
00:00:35,541 --> 00:00:37,342
also helps me combat the glare bear.
19
00:00:37,376 --> 00:00:38,743
That's what I call the sun now.
20
00:00:38,761 --> 00:00:41,679
Andy, it's Darryl. Take
your drawers off your head.
21
00:00:41,714 --> 00:00:43,097
What else can I show you?
22
00:00:43,132 --> 00:00:46,851
Oh, damn it!
23
00:00:46,886 --> 00:00:48,753
Oh, Andy, was-- was
that your drinking water?
24
00:00:48,771 --> 00:00:51,389
Yeah, it was. That's okay, though.
25
00:00:51,423 --> 00:00:54,108
I got this cool desalinator device.
26
00:00:54,143 --> 00:00:56,728
It sucks up seawater through this hose
27
00:00:56,762 --> 00:00:58,029
and pumps out freshwater.
28
00:00:58,063 --> 00:01:00,482
See, check it out.
29
00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:01,766
Ow!
30
00:01:01,784 --> 00:01:02,951
- Oh!
- Oh, no.
31
00:01:02,985 --> 00:01:05,937
Ah. That's not good.
32
00:01:05,955 --> 00:01:07,104
I better sign off.
33
00:01:07,122 --> 00:01:08,456
I hate to get going.
34
00:01:08,491 --> 00:01:10,608
I mean, these Skype sessions
are, like, the only thing
35
00:01:10,626 --> 00:01:12,327
that keep me sane out here, you know?
36
00:01:17,049 --> 00:01:19,751
He's been sailing for two days.
37
00:01:19,785 --> 00:01:21,169
I will leave you with this,
38
00:01:21,220 --> 00:01:24,005
the image of a man and his boat.
39
00:01:24,056 --> 00:01:26,007
Burn this into your brains.
40
00:01:26,058 --> 00:01:27,175
Yeah.
41
00:01:27,226 --> 00:01:29,978
No, no. No! No!
42
00:01:30,012 --> 00:01:31,062
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.
43
00:01:31,096 --> 00:01:32,063
Andy?
44
00:01:32,097 --> 00:01:35,132
Andy! Andy!
45
00:01:35,150 --> 00:01:36,818
Andy.
46
00:01:36,852 --> 00:01:37,819
Oh.
47
00:01:49,415 --> 00:01:52,617
Dwight Schrute.
48
00:01:52,651 --> 00:01:54,786
Well, hi, there, David Wallace.
49
00:01:54,820 --> 00:01:58,039
Why would you ever call me
when the manager's out of town?
50
00:01:58,090 --> 00:01:59,991
Well, I have some very exciting news.
51
00:02:00,009 --> 00:02:02,710
And you didn't call Jim.
That seems significant.
52
00:02:02,761 --> 00:02:04,012
- Hey, David.
- Jim, good.
53
00:02:04,046 --> 00:02:05,964
- You should hear this too.
- Uh, no, he shouldn't.
54
00:02:05,998 --> 00:02:07,348
Wha--
Ji--
55
00:02:07,383 --> 00:02:09,000
Go ahead, David. I'm listening.
56
00:02:09,018 --> 00:02:10,802
No-- I-- okay, David, I'm
gonna take you off speaker,
57
00:02:10,836 --> 00:02:13,805
but I don't know where I'd put you.
58
00:02:13,839 --> 00:02:15,690
Guys, listen, this is big news.
59
00:02:15,724 --> 00:02:18,676
The Scranton White Pages just
got in contact with my office.
60
00:02:18,694 --> 00:02:20,395
They have apparently
dropped their supplier
61
00:02:20,446 --> 00:02:22,814
for the last ten years.
62
00:02:22,848 --> 00:02:24,532
The White Pages.
63
00:02:24,567 --> 00:02:26,868
The White Pages. Do you want it? No.
64
00:02:26,902 --> 00:02:28,319
Do you use it? No.
65
00:02:28,353 --> 00:02:29,353
Does it inexplicably show up
66
00:02:29,371 --> 00:02:30,905
on your doorstep three times a year?
67
00:02:30,956 --> 00:02:33,324
Yes, yes, and yes.
68
00:02:33,358 --> 00:02:35,460
There is a reason we
in the paper industry
69
00:02:35,494 --> 00:02:39,380
call this thing "the white whale."
70
00:02:39,415 --> 00:02:42,750
Look at all that sweet blubber.
71
00:02:42,801 --> 00:02:45,837
Look, we need our top
salesman running point on this,
72
00:02:45,871 --> 00:02:47,555
and, Dwight, that is you.
73
00:02:47,590 --> 00:02:51,092
I'm gonna need to put
you on hold for a second.
74
00:02:51,143 --> 00:02:52,894
Ha!
75
00:02:52,928 --> 00:02:54,879
Yeah! Whoo!
76
00:02:54,897 --> 00:02:58,650
Eat it, Jim! Eat
it, Phyllis! Eat--
77
00:02:58,684 --> 00:03:00,935
- Where's Stanley?
- He's in the bathroom.
78
00:03:00,986 --> 00:03:02,570
Will you run to the bathroom
and tell him to eat it?
79
00:03:02,605 --> 00:03:04,355
Of course.
80
00:03:04,389 --> 00:03:06,741
Yeah! Okay.
81
00:03:06,775 --> 00:03:07,892
Hey, David. I'm back.
82
00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:09,611
Eat it, Stanley!
83
00:03:09,662 --> 00:03:11,162
So, uh, last I remember,
84
00:03:11,196 --> 00:03:13,247
Tom Peterman was in
charge of that account.
85
00:03:13,282 --> 00:03:15,566
No, my assistant spoke to
the receptionist over there.
86
00:03:15,584 --> 00:03:17,585
It's someone new, but
she didn't catch her name.
87
00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:19,921
"Her" name?
88
00:03:19,955 --> 00:03:22,373
No. Hey, Dwight
shouldn't--
89
00:03:22,407 --> 00:03:24,742
Thanks, David. Thank you so
much for calling me today.
90
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,427
- Good luck.
- Good luck to you.
91
00:03:26,462 --> 00:03:27,795
Dwight, you can't go.
92
00:03:27,846 --> 00:03:29,964
You have a problem with
women. You can't sell to them.
93
00:03:30,015 --> 00:03:32,884
That is a damnable lie. I love women.
94
00:03:32,918 --> 00:03:34,852
Gina Rogers at Apex Technology
95
00:03:34,887 --> 00:03:38,106
said you called her "gy-na"
for your entire meeting.
96
00:03:38,140 --> 00:03:40,257
Ew.
97
00:03:40,275 --> 00:03:41,643
That's not good.
98
00:03:41,694 --> 00:03:44,479
Yeah. She said she
corrected him five times.
99
00:03:44,530 --> 00:03:45,647
Gy-na said that?
100
00:03:45,698 --> 00:03:47,715
Guys, we can't let Dwight blow this.
101
00:03:47,750 --> 00:03:50,234
An account this size
could double our growth.
102
00:03:50,268 --> 00:03:52,120
That means raises, bonuses...
103
00:03:52,154 --> 00:03:54,906
Pizza Friday could come back.
104
00:03:54,940 --> 00:03:57,625
Hey, remember that week in
the '90s when we got bagels?
105
00:03:57,660 --> 00:03:59,243
I miss Clinton.
106
00:03:59,277 --> 00:04:00,795
- Can you go instead?
- I can't.
107
00:04:00,829 --> 00:04:03,131
I have the thing.
108
00:04:03,165 --> 00:04:04,799
I have this conference call today
109
00:04:04,833 --> 00:04:07,168
with this company in Philly
that I'm helping start--
110
00:04:07,219 --> 00:04:08,803
first board meeting,
111
00:04:08,837 --> 00:04:11,339
also the first time I've
ever been excited about work,
112
00:04:11,390 --> 00:04:15,343
so that feels... wrong.
113
00:04:15,377 --> 00:04:18,396
Okay, calm down.
114
00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:20,365
It's just me, not Tom Selleck.
115
00:04:21,850 --> 00:04:23,634
Nice.
116
00:04:23,652 --> 00:04:25,302
Toby got us all to
participate in Movember.
117
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,272
It's a charity for prostate cancer.
118
00:04:28,306 --> 00:04:30,074
You pledge money, and
then you grow a mustache
119
00:04:30,109 --> 00:04:31,659
for the month of November.
120
00:04:31,694 --> 00:04:33,745
So this is how we look now.
121
00:04:33,779 --> 00:04:36,948
I hope you like being
turned on all the time.
122
00:04:36,982 --> 00:04:40,151
Damn! It just keeps on coming, huh?
123
00:04:40,169 --> 00:04:42,704
I have very fertile hair glands.
124
00:04:42,755 --> 00:04:47,258
I am so glad I got all of
the dudes to do Movember.
125
00:04:47,292 --> 00:04:50,044
We have the dopest
time back in the annex.
126
00:04:50,095 --> 00:04:51,328
God!
127
00:04:51,346 --> 00:04:54,215
We even go to lunch, pick up babes.
128
00:04:54,266 --> 00:04:58,436
Smile if you love men's prostates.
129
00:05:00,139 --> 00:05:02,339
- Hi.
- Hi.
130
00:05:02,357 --> 00:05:03,941
Spring cleaning?
131
00:05:03,976 --> 00:05:06,444
More like fall cleaning.
132
00:05:08,981 --> 00:05:13,868
I think the Senator is having an affair.
133
00:05:13,902 --> 00:05:15,352
This
doesn't--
134
00:05:15,370 --> 00:05:17,572
I'm sorry.
Wha-- what?
135
00:05:17,623 --> 00:05:20,458
I think the Senator is having an affair.
136
00:05:20,492 --> 00:05:22,376
I literally have nightmares
137
00:05:22,411 --> 00:05:26,247
in which what just happened happens.
138
00:05:26,298 --> 00:05:28,800
I wake up in a sweat.
139
00:05:28,834 --> 00:05:32,587
And then I make Angela's
husband spoon me back to bed.
140
00:05:32,621 --> 00:05:34,371
When he comes home in the morning,
141
00:05:34,389 --> 00:05:36,224
he has this secret little smile.
142
00:05:36,258 --> 00:05:38,542
Oh, I'm...
143
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,311
sure that's nothing.
144
00:05:40,345 --> 00:05:42,546
And he's always at the yoga studio.
145
00:05:42,564 --> 00:05:44,732
He never misses the noon class.
146
00:05:44,767 --> 00:05:46,717
It's hot yoga with Blake.
147
00:05:46,735 --> 00:05:49,320
Angela, Blake's also a guy's name,
148
00:05:49,354 --> 00:05:51,239
so he may be spending his afternoons
149
00:05:51,273 --> 00:05:52,857
with a guy named Blake.
150
00:05:52,891 --> 00:05:56,244
So nothing to worry about.
151
00:05:56,278 --> 00:05:58,412
Huh.
152
00:05:58,447 --> 00:06:00,248
Blake. Who is Blake?
153
00:06:00,282 --> 00:06:02,399
I don't know.
154
00:06:02,417 --> 00:06:04,035
I just never heard about
the Senator and yoga...
155
00:06:04,069 --> 00:06:05,753
- Right.
- ...from you.
156
00:06:05,788 --> 00:06:08,405
I'm sure it's probably nothing.
157
00:06:08,423 --> 00:06:09,757
But what's with the yoga already?
158
00:06:09,792 --> 00:06:10,908
- Right?
- And Blake.
159
00:06:10,926 --> 00:06:12,176
- Right?
- All right, Angela, calm down.
160
00:06:12,211 --> 00:06:13,177
Okay.
161
00:06:13,212 --> 00:06:14,629
We need to go and check this out.
162
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:18,582
- What?
- Angela, I'll go with you.
163
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,468
So, uh, show us how you'd normally sell
164
00:06:20,519 --> 00:06:21,936
to a female client.
165
00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:23,754
Okay. With pleasure.
166
00:06:23,772 --> 00:06:26,440
Time to learn a few new tricks, old dog.
167
00:06:26,475 --> 00:06:27,758
- You got this, Schrute.
- Okay.
168
00:06:27,776 --> 00:06:30,027
You just walked into her office...
169
00:06:30,062 --> 00:06:31,262
and begin.
170
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,447
- Hello.
- Hello.
171
00:06:33,482 --> 00:06:35,116
May I please speak to your boss?
172
00:06:35,150 --> 00:06:36,651
- No, she is the boss.
- I am?
173
00:06:36,702 --> 00:06:38,653
Yes.
174
00:06:38,704 --> 00:06:40,604
Hi. I'm Mr. Hannon.
175
00:06:40,622 --> 00:06:41,656
How can I help you?
176
00:06:41,707 --> 00:06:43,708
Okay, this isn't working for me,
177
00:06:43,742 --> 00:06:46,460
'cause no one would ever
believe that she would be a boss.
178
00:06:46,495 --> 00:06:48,329
He's absolutely right.
I'm really struggling here.
179
00:06:48,380 --> 00:06:50,164
Oh, I'll be the buyer.
180
00:06:50,215 --> 00:06:51,632
Okay.
181
00:06:52,718 --> 00:06:54,635
Hello, Mr. Schrute. Nice to see you.
182
00:06:54,670 --> 00:06:55,786
Please have a seat.
183
00:06:55,804 --> 00:06:58,289
I never sit down during sales meetings.
184
00:06:58,307 --> 00:07:00,808
I want to appear aggressive, imposing.
185
00:07:00,843 --> 00:07:02,677
I am going to sell to you in 12 minutes.
186
00:07:02,728 --> 00:07:04,461
No, actually, she'd
like to take her time
187
00:07:04,479 --> 00:07:06,130
discussing her needs.
188
00:07:06,148 --> 00:07:09,300
I will tell her what her
needs are and then fill them.
189
00:07:09,318 --> 00:07:11,018
This is gonna work out best for you
190
00:07:11,069 --> 00:07:14,021
if you just relax and do nothing.
191
00:07:14,072 --> 00:07:16,908
And once I'm finished, it's over.
192
00:07:16,942 --> 00:07:20,862
Okay, let's stop here.
Anyone have any thoughts?
193
00:07:20,913 --> 00:07:22,146
I thought it went great.
194
00:07:22,164 --> 00:07:24,415
I have, uh, written
down a few questions.
195
00:07:24,449 --> 00:07:26,500
One. Have you ever killed a woman?
196
00:07:26,535 --> 00:07:28,485
How many women have you killed?
197
00:07:28,503 --> 00:07:30,821
Please, sir, will you not kill me?
198
00:07:32,630 --> 00:07:34,076
Okay, let's get started.
199
00:07:34,276 --> 00:07:35,595
Okay, cool. We're all on?
200
00:07:35,630 --> 00:07:37,311
Uh, well, you're the only one on.
201
00:07:37,362 --> 00:07:39,447
We're all here.
202
00:07:39,481 --> 00:07:40,931
Right.
203
00:07:40,949 --> 00:07:43,100
Okay, uh, over the next three months...
204
00:07:43,118 --> 00:07:44,485
- That's the winter
season. - I, uh--
205
00:07:44,536 --> 00:07:45,486
Three months.
206
00:07:45,537 --> 00:07:47,121
I, uh...
207
00:07:47,155 --> 00:07:49,040
I had some ideas, actually.
208
00:07:49,074 --> 00:07:50,607
Are you in your office right now?
209
00:07:50,626 --> 00:07:52,126
Yeah.
210
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,245
Trust me, I'd rather be with you guys.
211
00:07:54,279 --> 00:07:55,796
Okay.
212
00:07:55,831 --> 00:07:58,666
Yeah, it's sounding kind of
spooky-sexy over here, Halpert.
213
00:07:58,717 --> 00:07:59,800
Oh.
214
00:07:59,835 --> 00:08:01,085
Sorry. I-I, uh--
215
00:08:01,119 --> 00:08:02,637
I was saying that you should
probably just call me--
216
00:08:02,671 --> 00:08:04,055
Whoa. That's--
217
00:08:04,089 --> 00:08:05,723
I think there's, uh-- I
think there's been a mistake.
218
00:08:05,757 --> 00:08:08,092
We're trying to reach
Jim Halpert, not Batman.
219
00:08:10,595 --> 00:08:11,812
Um, you know what?
220
00:08:11,847 --> 00:08:13,130
I should've
just had--
221
00:08:13,148 --> 00:08:14,732
I should've just had
you call me on my cell.
222
00:08:14,766 --> 00:08:16,734
I'll-- I'm gonna try
a different spot, okay?
223
00:08:16,768 --> 00:08:18,903
- Okay. Yeah.
- I'll call you right back.
224
00:08:18,937 --> 00:08:21,305
What's happening in three months?
225
00:08:21,323 --> 00:08:23,140
Okay, when you're selling to women,
226
00:08:23,158 --> 00:08:26,077
it is crucial that you listen, Dwight.
227
00:08:26,111 --> 00:08:29,830
Also, you want to respect their...
228
00:08:29,865 --> 00:08:31,666
Are you listening now?
229
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:33,384
Yes.
230
00:08:33,418 --> 00:08:34,651
Okay, well, you have to show us.
231
00:08:34,670 --> 00:08:35,870
That's impossible.
232
00:08:35,921 --> 00:08:38,039
Listening happens in
the ear and in the brain.
233
00:08:38,090 --> 00:08:39,924
I mean, some organisms
have external hairs
234
00:08:39,958 --> 00:08:42,927
that vibrate to indicate
auditory stimulation,
235
00:08:42,961 --> 00:08:46,547
but unfortunately, our external
hairs don't vibrate at all.
236
00:08:46,598 --> 00:08:48,832
Huh. Uh-huh.
237
00:08:48,850 --> 00:08:50,685
What are you doing?
238
00:08:50,719 --> 00:08:54,004
A little smile and a nod
shows that I hear you.
239
00:08:54,022 --> 00:08:56,524
- Got it?
- Kind of.
240
00:08:56,558 --> 00:08:57,808
Nellie, why don't you tell Dwight
241
00:08:57,842 --> 00:08:59,193
what we were doing earlier today,
242
00:08:59,227 --> 00:09:00,861
and, Dwight, you show
us that you're listening.
243
00:09:00,896 --> 00:09:03,314
Well, we were in the warehouse,
244
00:09:03,348 --> 00:09:04,899
where we were discussing the mural
245
00:09:04,950 --> 00:09:06,867
that I've commissioned
Pam to paint there.
246
00:09:06,902 --> 00:09:08,619
We were talking about the color schemes
247
00:09:08,653 --> 00:09:11,288
and the major themes
we want to hit--
248
00:09:11,323 --> 00:09:13,274
children of the world coming together,
249
00:09:13,308 --> 00:09:15,409
cutting down trees to make paper.
250
00:09:15,460 --> 00:09:18,295
But not in a child labor-y way.
251
00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:20,047
It's just up and down...
252
00:09:20,082 --> 00:09:21,882
Just a regular nod, like a person.
253
00:09:21,917 --> 00:09:23,033
I am a person.
254
00:09:23,051 --> 00:09:24,552
- Yes.
- Of course. You're a person.
255
00:09:24,586 --> 00:09:26,253
- Yeah.
- We can do this, all right?
256
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,089
And then we thought we'd...
257
00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:30,257
I can't. I just-- I can't
carry on with that face.
258
00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,760
Look at it. I'm gonna get
nightmares with that face.
259
00:09:32,811 --> 00:09:34,145
I mean, he looks like he's laboring
260
00:09:34,179 --> 00:09:37,565
over a stool, having
just eaten human flesh.
261
00:09:37,599 --> 00:09:38,849
That's a bit extreme.
262
00:09:38,883 --> 00:09:40,351
I'm s-- I'm sorry,
but that is true.
263
00:09:40,385 --> 00:09:42,403
He's screwed. The meeting's
in less than an hour.
264
00:09:42,437 --> 00:09:43,821
Oh, all right. God, Dwight.
265
00:09:43,855 --> 00:09:45,573
Uh, just ignore every instinct you have.
266
00:09:45,607 --> 00:09:48,109
It's all garbage, okay?
267
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,778
You're the woman. I'm the salesman.
268
00:09:50,829 --> 00:09:53,564
Watch what I do and try to learn.
269
00:09:53,582 --> 00:09:54,565
Okay, I'm the woman.
270
00:09:54,583 --> 00:09:55,566
I'm a woman. Good?
271
00:09:55,584 --> 00:09:57,084
- Okay.
- No.
272
00:09:57,119 --> 00:09:59,587
Miss Thomas, so good to see you.
273
00:09:59,621 --> 00:10:01,255
Hello.
274
00:10:01,289 --> 00:10:03,007
Oh, are those your
kids? They're so cute.
275
00:10:03,041 --> 00:10:04,291
They could be models.
276
00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:06,093
Thank you. I'm so proud of them.
277
00:10:06,128 --> 00:10:08,579
I carried each one of
them for nine months
278
00:10:08,597 --> 00:10:11,432
inside of my torso and then
pushed them out of my vagina.
279
00:10:11,466 --> 00:10:14,218
- Boo. Weird.
- No.
280
00:10:14,252 --> 00:10:16,753
Okay, well, this is a lost cause.
281
00:10:16,772 --> 00:10:17,972
He's hopeless.
282
00:10:18,023 --> 00:10:19,523
Ten years ago, I didn't care
283
00:10:19,558 --> 00:10:22,977
if Dwight got married or
died a beet-farming bachelor.
284
00:10:23,028 --> 00:10:25,596
But having kids makes you so soft.
285
00:10:25,614 --> 00:10:27,398
I used to watch Pulp Fiction and laugh,
286
00:10:27,432 --> 00:10:31,118
and now I'm like, "that poor
gimp is somebody's child."
287
00:10:31,153 --> 00:10:34,371
You know, I think there
could be a lot of benefits
288
00:10:34,406 --> 00:10:35,939
if you could learn to
get along with women.
289
00:10:35,957 --> 00:10:37,908
Look, I have no problem with women.
290
00:10:37,942 --> 00:10:41,245
It's businesswomen and
their-- their power suits
291
00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:43,113
and their shoulder pads.
292
00:10:43,131 --> 00:10:44,882
Don't lie about your shoulders.
293
00:10:44,916 --> 00:10:46,634
Dwight, listen to me.
294
00:10:46,668 --> 00:10:50,805
Businesswomen are just normal,
nice, reasonable people.
295
00:10:50,839 --> 00:10:55,059
Who's a nice, reasonable
person in your experience?
296
00:10:55,093 --> 00:10:58,596
I had a barber once who
used to comb my hair gently.
297
00:10:58,630 --> 00:11:00,964
Okay, so, when you're
selling to this woman,
298
00:11:00,982 --> 00:11:04,401
just imagine she's that
nice, reasonable barber.
299
00:11:04,436 --> 00:11:07,938
- Okay, I can do that. -
Mm-hmm. Good. Baby steps.
300
00:11:07,972 --> 00:11:11,242
He used to fight dogs.
301
00:11:11,276 --> 00:11:13,777
Like, he used to make dogs fight,
302
00:11:13,811 --> 00:11:15,579
or he actually fought dogs?
303
00:11:15,614 --> 00:11:20,284
Little of this, little of that.
304
00:11:20,318 --> 00:11:22,336
Which one is the instructor?
305
00:11:22,370 --> 00:11:24,872
They're all fatties.
306
00:11:24,923 --> 00:11:26,207
- Angela, Angela.
307
00:11:26,258 --> 00:11:27,324
What? Where?
308
00:11:27,342 --> 00:11:28,325
- Stairs, the stairs.
- Oh, my God.
309
00:11:28,343 --> 00:11:29,877
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
310
00:11:29,928 --> 00:11:31,762
Oh, so wait.
311
00:11:31,796 --> 00:11:33,597
Blake is a her.
312
00:11:33,632 --> 00:11:35,766
Oh, my God.
313
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:37,551
She's so stunningly tiny.
314
00:11:37,602 --> 00:11:40,671
She's like a petite double
zero for sure, for sure.
315
00:11:40,689 --> 00:11:44,441
Holy cow, look at what they're doing.
316
00:11:44,476 --> 00:11:47,278
She's repositioning his
hips for downward-facing dog.
317
00:11:47,312 --> 00:11:49,697
I've
heard of this--
318
00:11:49,731 --> 00:11:50,781
dog style.
319
00:11:50,815 --> 00:11:53,567
Oh, wait. Oh, look, Oscar.
320
00:11:53,618 --> 00:11:56,287
Thumbelina has a boyfriend.
321
00:11:56,321 --> 00:11:58,405
And he has a ponytail? Ew.
322
00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:00,741
I'd like to see that run for office.
323
00:12:00,792 --> 00:12:02,243
Oscar, you were right.
324
00:12:02,294 --> 00:12:03,794
I had nothing to be worried about.
325
00:12:03,828 --> 00:12:05,546
Thank you. Let's go. Let's go.
326
00:12:05,580 --> 00:12:06,914
- No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Ow.
327
00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:08,415
Shut up. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
328
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,633
Shh. Just--
sorry.
329
00:12:09,668 --> 00:12:12,586
Look.
330
00:12:12,637 --> 00:12:14,705
- Oh.
331
00:12:14,723 --> 00:12:16,873
- This is
fun. - Oh--
332
00:12:16,892 --> 00:12:18,208
- you know?
333
00:12:18,226 --> 00:12:20,544
This is fun.
334
00:12:20,562 --> 00:12:22,879
What I was saying is
the genius of Air Jordan
335
00:12:22,898 --> 00:12:25,215
was not in the market
saturation, it was in--
336
00:12:25,233 --> 00:12:26,767
Uh...
337
00:12:26,818 --> 00:12:28,435
- It was what?
- Sorry, um...
338
00:12:28,486 --> 00:12:30,437
Jim, we're having a lot
of trouble hearing you.
339
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:33,490
The-- the-- the-- what I was
saying is the real genius was--
340
00:12:35,610 --> 00:12:36,944
Hey! Are those skateboarders back?
341
00:12:36,995 --> 00:12:39,446
- Jim? Jim, are you there?
- Where are they?
342
00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:40,664
- It was, uh...
- Little punks.
343
00:12:40,699 --> 00:12:42,449
It was in the authentic design, right?
344
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,951
So, I mean, you really
felt like Michael Jordan
345
00:12:44,002 --> 00:12:45,402
- was wearing
these shoes-- - Jim!
346
00:12:45,420 --> 00:12:47,338
- Who was messing with my van?
- Nobody!
347
00:12:47,372 --> 00:12:49,740
- Jordan wore them for nobody?
- No, no, no...
348
00:12:49,758 --> 00:12:51,408
We're not following you, Halpert.
349
00:12:51,426 --> 00:12:54,261
This ends now!
350
00:12:54,296 --> 00:12:57,598
Have a seat. Um, she will be right in.
351
00:12:57,632 --> 00:12:59,099
Oh, great. Oh, I'm sorry.
352
00:12:59,134 --> 00:13:03,587
Do you mind telling me her name?
I realized we don't have it.
353
00:13:03,605 --> 00:13:06,190
- Uh, she'll be right in.
- Okay, great.
354
00:13:06,224 --> 00:13:08,359
She--
okay.
355
00:13:08,393 --> 00:13:13,030
Just a little off the top
and then a nice combing.
356
00:13:13,064 --> 00:13:16,650
Yeah. Just comb it.
357
00:13:23,742 --> 00:13:26,660
Oh, my God.
358
00:13:26,711 --> 00:13:29,112
It's Jan.
359
00:13:29,130 --> 00:13:32,249
Oh, dear God in heaven.
360
00:13:35,136 --> 00:13:36,720
Jan used to be one of my superiors,
361
00:13:36,755 --> 00:13:38,672
and she is one of the most erratic
362
00:13:38,723 --> 00:13:40,975
and terrifying people I have ever met.
363
00:13:43,127 --> 00:13:44,795
You son of a bitch.
364
00:13:44,813 --> 00:13:46,096
- You're firing me?
- I'm in an interview.
365
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:47,348
Where the hell do you get off?
366
00:13:47,399 --> 00:13:49,149
Jim and I are pretty
sure she had an affair
367
00:13:49,184 --> 00:13:50,150
with her ex-assistant Hunter.
368
00:13:50,185 --> 00:13:51,602
He was 17.
369
00:13:51,636 --> 00:13:54,488
But she looks great.
370
00:13:54,522 --> 00:13:56,473
If she asks, will you
tell her I said that?
371
00:13:56,491 --> 00:13:59,910
Forget everything we taught you.
372
00:14:03,352 --> 00:14:05,352
Hey, Jan! It's so great to see you!
373
00:14:05,353 --> 00:14:06,904
- Where's Wallace?
- What?
374
00:14:06,955 --> 00:14:09,157
I was under the impression
David Wallace would be coming.
375
00:14:09,191 --> 00:14:11,709
He bought back Dunder Mifflin, correct?
376
00:14:11,744 --> 00:14:13,194
Hey.
377
00:14:13,212 --> 00:14:14,912
Your daughter could
be a bubble-bath model.
378
00:14:14,963 --> 00:14:17,849
I could just bite her head off.
379
00:14:19,534 --> 00:14:23,171
Sorry. Um, David is in Vermont.
380
00:14:23,205 --> 00:14:25,339
Did you speak with him?
He sent Dwight instead.
381
00:14:25,373 --> 00:14:26,874
Molly!
382
00:14:26,892 --> 00:14:30,344
David Wallace is in Vermont.
383
00:14:30,378 --> 00:14:33,097
Oh, my God. Um, I
talked to his assistant.
384
00:14:33,148 --> 00:14:34,766
And I guess it did
get a little confusing
385
00:14:34,817 --> 00:14:36,567
'cause you said not to
tell anyone your name.
386
00:14:36,602 --> 00:14:39,487
And then also, these bluetooths
are very hard to hear with.
387
00:14:39,521 --> 00:14:41,555
I know you love the way they look,
388
00:14:41,573 --> 00:14:43,557
- but Tom never had
us use them-- - Molly.
389
00:14:43,575 --> 00:14:45,910
I am not Tom. I am Jan.
390
00:14:45,944 --> 00:14:49,280
I'm so sorry, Jan.
391
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:53,584
Anyway...
392
00:14:53,619 --> 00:14:57,238
I thought it would be
fun to have a little chat
393
00:14:57,256 --> 00:15:00,625
with, uh, David Wallace
after all these years.
394
00:15:00,676 --> 00:15:02,760
Oh, well.
395
00:15:05,247 --> 00:15:06,264
What are you doing?
396
00:15:06,298 --> 00:15:07,548
Listening.
397
00:15:07,582 --> 00:15:09,100
- Stop. Stop that.
- Sorry.
398
00:15:09,134 --> 00:15:10,935
Okay.
399
00:15:10,969 --> 00:15:13,971
So this was all just a trick.
400
00:15:14,022 --> 00:15:15,756
You don't really have
any business to give?
401
00:15:15,774 --> 00:15:17,775
No, I-I do.
402
00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:19,093
But not to us.
403
00:15:19,111 --> 00:15:22,280
Insightful, Pam.
404
00:15:22,314 --> 00:15:24,098
You did good, Dwight. It's okay.
405
00:15:24,116 --> 00:15:26,150
Seriously, Jan's not
normal. Let's just go.
406
00:15:26,201 --> 00:15:28,602
She's not gonna sell to us.
407
00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:29,821
Yes, she is.
408
00:15:29,872 --> 00:15:32,657
Now, I may not have any
instincts with women,
409
00:15:32,708 --> 00:15:34,826
but I have an instinct for sales.
410
00:15:34,877 --> 00:15:37,078
You keep her occupied.
I'll be right back.
411
00:15:37,112 --> 00:15:38,079
What?
412
00:15:38,113 --> 00:15:39,747
- Pam.
- Yeah.
413
00:15:39,781 --> 00:15:42,333
- I'm a very busy woman, so...
- Yeah, um...
414
00:15:42,384 --> 00:15:45,136
Do you have any other
pictures of Astrid?
415
00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:48,673
Fine. I will show you one slideshow.
416
00:15:50,809 --> 00:15:53,344
- Erin, did
this call-- - Uh!
417
00:15:53,395 --> 00:15:55,429
Sorry. I just--
I saw your face.
418
00:15:55,463 --> 00:15:58,432
Oh. I'm sorry. It's for the thing.
419
00:15:58,466 --> 00:16:00,568
I know. That's great. It
just-- it makes it look like
420
00:16:00,602 --> 00:16:02,803
there's an eyebrow in
the middle of your face.
421
00:16:02,821 --> 00:16:04,272
Wow.
422
00:16:04,306 --> 00:16:06,140
A handsome eyebrow, but, um...
423
00:16:06,158 --> 00:16:08,276
It makes your mouth
look like an eye socket,
424
00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:10,311
- which isn't
bad. - Uh-huh.
425
00:16:10,329 --> 00:16:13,698
But, um, you look like
a cyclops whose eye...
426
00:16:13,749 --> 00:16:16,117
fell out...
427
00:16:16,151 --> 00:16:17,251
which is great.
428
00:16:17,286 --> 00:16:19,287
It's such a great cause.
429
00:16:19,321 --> 00:16:21,372
Yeah.
430
00:16:25,510 --> 00:16:30,497
♪ Mommy, you're a princess ♪
431
00:16:30,515 --> 00:16:34,335
♪ mommy, you're a superstar ♪
432
00:16:34,353 --> 00:16:37,855
♪ mommy, you're the greatest ♪
433
00:16:37,890 --> 00:16:42,176
♪ how can I ever fill
your sho-o-o-es? ♪
434
00:16:45,364 --> 00:16:46,347
Wow.
435
00:16:46,365 --> 00:16:49,150
Your voice is as lovely as ever.
436
00:16:49,184 --> 00:16:50,534
Aw.
437
00:16:50,569 --> 00:16:52,703
And it is so cute how
she signs her name.
438
00:16:53,772 --> 00:16:55,373
Well, that-- that
was-- that was me too.
439
00:16:55,407 --> 00:16:56,908
Oh, okay.
440
00:16:56,959 --> 00:16:59,493
It's just that's how Cece
does it with the backwards Es.
441
00:16:59,527 --> 00:17:02,163
- Cece can't spell her name.
- Oh, actually, she can.
442
00:17:02,197 --> 00:17:03,864
Well, it's not really much
of a comparison, is it?
443
00:17:03,882 --> 00:17:06,550
I mean, "Cece" is two
letters, and "Astrid" is...
444
00:17:06,585 --> 00:17:10,504
I mean, there's even some adults
who-- who-- who can't spell it.
445
00:17:10,538 --> 00:17:13,591
- Of course.
- Can you spell it?
446
00:17:13,642 --> 00:17:14,892
Try to spell it, Pam.
447
00:17:14,927 --> 00:17:18,679
Um... A...
448
00:17:18,713 --> 00:17:22,266
X? I don't--
you got me.
449
00:17:22,317 --> 00:17:24,068
Don't patronize me.
450
00:17:24,102 --> 00:17:25,069
I'm so sorry.
451
00:17:25,103 --> 00:17:26,687
I hate this. You're better.
452
00:17:26,721 --> 00:17:28,222
Okay, we should go now.
453
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:29,657
Let's go.
454
00:17:29,691 --> 00:17:30,724
Just wait.
455
00:17:30,742 --> 00:17:34,245
Just a minute. Just watch.
456
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,367
- Wait. Why
are you--
457
00:17:39,401 --> 00:17:41,619
Oh, are you getting
your jollies right now?
458
00:17:41,670 --> 00:17:44,738
Can't get enough of the show?
459
00:17:44,756 --> 00:17:47,208
- Your jollies are
all on fire-- - Please.
460
00:17:47,242 --> 00:17:48,742
It's Robert who's enjoying it.
461
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,294
What?
462
00:17:50,345 --> 00:17:52,046
This could be the affair
that you're scared of.
463
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,714
Politicians are wonderful liars.
464
00:17:53,748 --> 00:17:56,934
You never know who they really are.
465
00:17:59,304 --> 00:18:01,922
But, uh, he's probably not gay.
466
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:04,775
He's straight. He's straight, so...
467
00:18:08,096 --> 00:18:10,781
Mm. Excuse me. Could
I get some more water?
468
00:18:10,816 --> 00:18:12,900
No.
469
00:18:12,934 --> 00:18:14,235
Jan...
470
00:18:14,269 --> 00:18:16,404
You thought I had no
more cards left to play.
471
00:18:16,438 --> 00:18:19,440
Well, I've got one. Man-boy!
472
00:18:19,458 --> 00:18:21,275
The ace of babes.
473
00:18:21,293 --> 00:18:22,660
Oh, my God.
474
00:18:22,711 --> 00:18:25,046
Where's the quiznos?
475
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,415
You're the quiznos.
476
00:18:27,449 --> 00:18:29,000
Jan, may I introduce to you
477
00:18:29,051 --> 00:18:32,119
your own personal
Dunder Mifflin liaison,
478
00:18:32,137 --> 00:18:33,754
devoted to servicing this account
479
00:18:33,788 --> 00:18:36,757
with total client satisfaction.
480
00:18:36,791 --> 00:18:40,311
I sensed that Molly wasn't quite
481
00:18:40,345 --> 00:18:42,229
meeting
your needs--
482
00:18:42,264 --> 00:18:46,517
Nothing like, uh, your old assistant...
483
00:18:46,568 --> 00:18:49,987
Hunter. Was that his name?
484
00:18:50,022 --> 00:18:51,689
- I-I--
- Hmm?
485
00:18:51,740 --> 00:18:52,773
I don't recall.
486
00:18:52,807 --> 00:18:54,942
And, yes, Molly is crap.
487
00:18:54,976 --> 00:18:57,111
Okay, you do not have to do this.
488
00:18:57,145 --> 00:18:59,780
Do what? Get into sales?
That's what I want.
489
00:18:59,814 --> 00:19:03,868
He's been growing that
mustache for weeks.
490
00:19:03,919 --> 00:19:05,503
Best he can do...
491
00:19:05,537 --> 00:19:09,323
so young.
492
00:19:09,341 --> 00:19:10,841
Will you, uh...
493
00:19:10,876 --> 00:19:12,209
You.
494
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:16,964
Can you turn around for me, please?
495
00:19:16,998 --> 00:19:17,998
Dwight, you can go.
496
00:19:18,016 --> 00:19:19,166
I will call you in a week or so
497
00:19:19,184 --> 00:19:21,185
and let you know whether
I want your business.
498
00:19:21,219 --> 00:19:25,723
Very good.
499
00:19:25,774 --> 00:19:28,809
Do you have a valid passport?
500
00:19:31,947 --> 00:19:33,681
- Jim Halpert.
- Hey, it's Colin.
501
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:37,001
Hey, man. I am so sorry about that.
502
00:19:37,035 --> 00:19:39,537
- I know. Don't worry about it.
503
00:19:39,571 --> 00:19:41,989
It's just-- it's
not totally working.
504
00:19:42,023 --> 00:19:43,207
Yeah. No, I know.
505
00:19:43,241 --> 00:19:45,859
This whole telecommuting
thing-- not ideal.
506
00:19:45,877 --> 00:19:47,161
But don't worry. I'll figure it out.
507
00:19:47,195 --> 00:19:49,530
Yeah, well, it's not just not ideal.
508
00:19:49,548 --> 00:19:53,551
I mean, with you there, I don't
know how we're gonna do this.
509
00:19:56,037 --> 00:19:59,056
Uh, what does--
what does that mean?
510
00:19:59,091 --> 00:20:01,225
Oscar, what is happening here?
511
00:20:01,259 --> 00:20:03,761
Why would you say you think
the Senator might be gay?
512
00:20:03,812 --> 00:20:06,230
I don't know, Angela. I'm dehydrated.
513
00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:07,348
Maybe...
514
00:20:07,382 --> 00:20:09,767
you heard me wrong. We should just go.
515
00:20:09,818 --> 00:20:13,487
Look, look, look. Here
he comes. Here he comes.
516
00:20:16,074 --> 00:20:18,409
- What is he doing?
- He's making a phone call.
517
00:20:18,443 --> 00:20:20,394
Oh, oh!
518
00:20:35,141 --> 00:20:36,274
Oh, hey, Molly.
519
00:20:36,309 --> 00:20:37,526
Um, you should just quit.
520
00:20:38,474 --> 00:20:39,441
- Yeah. Thanks.
- Yeah.
521
00:20:39,475 --> 00:20:41,092
Okay.
522
00:20:41,110 --> 00:20:43,594
Oh, and, uh, Molly...
523
00:20:43,612 --> 00:20:46,147
I know it can't be easy working for Jan.
524
00:20:46,198 --> 00:20:48,192
Good luck with your feelings.
525
00:20:50,769 --> 00:20:54,239
Dwight, that was really nice.
526
00:20:54,273 --> 00:20:56,074
You should ask for her number.
527
00:20:56,108 --> 00:20:58,543
Oh, I got her number.
528
00:20:58,577 --> 00:21:00,111
415-YCL.
529
00:21:00,129 --> 00:21:03,281
- That's a license number?
- That's all you need.
530
00:21:03,299 --> 00:21:05,717
And when I have curried favor with her,
531
00:21:05,751 --> 00:21:07,118
I will let you know.
532
00:21:07,136 --> 00:21:09,287
Oh. Why me?
533
00:21:09,305 --> 00:21:13,674
Because you are my friend
and you are a woman...
534
00:21:13,675 --> 00:21:18,890
and women love gossip, it's
like air to you people. Ugh, God.