1
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:19,887
It's alive!
2
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,708
Sweden"!
3
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:44,412
Bork! Bork! Bork!
Bork! Bork!
4
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,517
Your challenge is...
5
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,521
Your challenge...
your challenge is
6
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:56,057
to prepare the traditional
Scandinavian dish
7
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,758
known as lutefisk!
8
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,493
Bork!
9
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:02,229
Step aside, dudes.
Time for a shell spin!
10
00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,665
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Turtle power!
11
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,002
Hey, hey-
12
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:10,337
Hey, dudes, little, uh...
13
00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:13,107
Little help here!
Leo?
14
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,609
Little help!
15
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,678
So, Loki's like,
"please have mercy!"
16
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,046
and I was all, "Sorry, pal.
17
00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:20,915
Can't hear a thing
in this helmet."
18
00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:23,617
Ba-da-boom!
Chest-mounted unibeam, baby.
19
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:25,786
You is the man!
20
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:27,855
Got a story from the fight,
Jolly Green?
21
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:30,157
Well, Hulk smash.
22
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,992
And Hulk smash.
23
00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:34,028
But then... Hulk smash!
24
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:36,163
No freaking way, man!
25
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,299
Swearsies.
26
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,935
Okay, well, okay, so,
I-I kicked this guy,
27
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:42,770
and I shot him
with my pistols.
28
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:45,606
And it turns out that he was,
uh, bulletproof
29
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,908
and also kick-proof.
30
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,578
Oh, God! I'm, like,
the lamest one on this team!
31
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:54,815
I don't even know why you guys
keep me around.
32
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:58,319
Ohhhh, yeah.
33
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:03,524
♪ Baby, baby, baby, baby ♪
34
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:08,129
♪ Mm ♪
35
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,263
Don't talk like that.
36
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,265
You're a critical component
of this team.
37
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,700
Right, fellas?
- Absolutely, uh-huh.
38
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:13,601
Yeah. Sure.
39
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,836
I guess whoever we fight next
better watch out
40
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,805
for the Black Widow, huh?!
41
00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:19,006
Yeah!
42
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,307
Black Widow's gone now,
43
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:22,309
but she leaves behind the gift
of knowledge...
44
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:23,744
the knowledge
that you cannot
45
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,580
defeat
Demogorge the God-Eater
46
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,915
with a karate kick.
47
00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:29,984
But I almost got him
with my arrows.
48
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:32,119
Right... right, guys?
49
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:34,188
What am I saying?!
50
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:37,858
I don't even know why you guys
keep me around!
51
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:41,562
♪ Ooh, ooh, oh, oh, oh ♪
52
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:49,937
Ohhh, yeah.
53
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:52,072
Next Thursday on NBS...
54
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,041
Flatline!
We're losing him!
55
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:55,609
O-o-o-ouch!
56
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,478
...a suicide victim
will be saved...
57
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:59,680
Hooray! He's alive!
58
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,048
Damn it! I'm alive!
59
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:05,186
...by the hospital's most
talented physician.
60
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:08,255
But when Dr. E. T.'s old demons
come back to haunt him...
61
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,524
I'll put it ri-i-i-ght here.
62
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,927
Hey, prick, that's my
girlfriend!
63
00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:15,229
Step off.
64
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:16,330
O-o-ouch!
65
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,732
...he'll face his greatest
challenge yet.
66
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,135
He's dying.
You have to do something!
67
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,303
Doctor?!
68
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:25,139
I'll be ri-i-i-i-ght back.
69
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:28,976
- Hey, that's my bike!
- Step off, bro.
70
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:37,618
Thursday on an all-new
E.T.... Emergency Terrestrial. â
71
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:40,154
Yeah! Bachelor party!
72
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,924
I'm buying you a lap dance,
buddy!
73
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:46,894
You wait right there, Harry.
74
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:49,797
I'm gonna change into something
more comfortable.
75
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,999
Dongus stoutus!
76
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,201
Oh, come on.
77
00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:56,170
Uh, beef us girthus?
78
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,638
Poleus maximus?
79
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,373
Aaaaaah!
80
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:13,554
Stalkus minimus! Stalkus minimus!
Stalkus minimus!
81
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,390
Now let me see what the famous
Harry Potter's packing.
82
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,760
Why do you have a vadge?
83
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:32,506
I-Is he gone?
Oh, phew!
84
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,275
Dude's a fucking stalker.
85
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,909
The royal family!
86
00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:37,244
They're coming our way!
87
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,480
Ohh, aren't they just
adorable?
88
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,815
Greatest... moment...
of my life.
89
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,351
Oh, and I've been totally
needing a new bra.
90
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,619
What are you... aah!
91
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,021
Aaaaah!
92
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,188
I want one!
93
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:49,323
Mommy! Daddy!
94
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,226
Check it out...
pasties!
95
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:54,828
Aaaagh!
96
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:59,733
Now, girls, remember,
we're only here to browse.
97
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,770
Daddy, no! I want them!
98
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,171
You heard me!
Let's go!
99
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:05,806
This is so unfair.
100
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,808
It's like he doesn't even care
how cruel he is!
101
00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:13,947
Godzilla has left the nation
in ruins!
102
00:05:14,048 --> 00:05:17,184
Oh, no! California's most
treasured landmark!
103
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:19,987
Oh, no! California's most
treasured landmark
104
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:22,489
despite what those a-holes down
in Los Angeles think.
105
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,525
Godzilla is pulling some hot
stripper-pole action
106
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,026
on the Sears Tower
or whatever the fuck
107
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,261
we call it these days.
108
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,896
What is it?
Wil... Willis Tower?
109
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,631
I'm hearing Willis Tower.
110
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,399
And after destroying
Manhattan,
111
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,569
Godzilla is finally
headed back out to sea.
112
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,305
Oh!
Total dick move by Godzilla.
113
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:39,840
Nowhere near water is safe!
114
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,710
It has never been a better time
to be a landlocked state.
115
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:45,346
Tourism here in Des Moines is
through the roof!
116
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,847
We're all rich!
117
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,883
This is the mayor's assistant,
Mr. G.
118
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,152
Your check is in the mail.
119
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:55,155
Ha ha ha ha!
120
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:58,592
Oh, how the hell am I supposed
to cash this?
121
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,461
Disneyland is
a magical place
122
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,396
that's fun
for the whole family.
123
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:03,864
Even teenagers.
124
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,199
Because at Disneyland,
125
00:06:05,299 --> 00:06:06,834
there are dozens
of secret places
126
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:09,370
for young people to give
each other hand jobs.
127
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:12,373
Come ride "The Many Adventures
of Winnie the Pooh."
128
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:15,342
And when you exit, make a left
at the water fountain
129
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:18,645
and find the perfect nook to
give or receive a hand job.
130
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,314
Fill your hand job passport
131
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,249
with stamps from locations
like...
132
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:24,952
behind the dumpster
next to the Matterhorn.
133
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:28,322
Under the baby-changing station
in Critter Country.
134
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:30,190
Or under the president's desk
135
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:33,060
in "Great Moments
with Mr. Lincoln."
136
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,795
because as Walt Disney
said...
137
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,598
Disneyland is the happiest
place on earth...
138
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:41,668
for teenagers to jizz all over
each other's young, Aryan hands.
139
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:49,176
Presto change-o!
140
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,879
Ugh, I said presto change-o,
141
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:54,982
not pesto change-o!
142
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,784
And that's when the female
starbuck
143
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,952
got in the shower with me.
- Ooh!
144
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,355
But from the neck down,
she was Dirk Benedict.
145
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:02,423
Ooh.
146
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,092
- When I woke up, I still had wood.
- Ooh.
147
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:07,961
Watch me scare those nerds!
148
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:11,331
Munson!
149
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:14,535
Munson might
be going to prison.
150
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,336
Dirk Benedict!
151
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:18,806
Ow!
152
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:20,741
Where is everybody?
153
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,643
Hello-o-o-o?
154
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:25,279
"Don't dead, open inside."
155
00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:29,049
Ha Ha!
Epic typography fail.
156
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:32,786
Oh, my gosh,
that's Courtney!
157
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,054
Aah!
158
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,689
Aaaaah!
Oh, phew.
159
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,225
You're not a walker.
- What? I-I'm not a what?
160
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,561
It means zombie without
having to say "zombie."
161
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,396
It's just one
of the little details
162
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,398
that makes Robert Kirkman's
"The Walking Dead"
163
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,099
such an intelligent
and original...
164
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,501
- Aah!
- Come with me!
165
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,903
Apocalyptic crises tend to break
down social barriers,
166
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,539
so it's totally likely that you
and I will fall in love.
167
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,142
Whoa!
Wait, wait, wait.
168
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,411
I'm all yours, boys!
Aah!
169
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,146
Oh, dang.
170
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,315
What caused
the zombie outbreak?
171
00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:04,718
Let's consult the zombie
backstory generator!
172
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:05,953
"Supervirus."
173
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:08,555
Oh, wait a minute.
They all say "supervirus."
174
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,459
Munson! Those used to be
people, you monster!
175
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:14,161
Don't use them for target
practice!
176
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:17,631
Wipe the crap out of your
eyes, dickstain.
177
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:20,000
That's my mom's car!
Knock it off!
178
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:24,204
- Uh-oh!
- Oh, come on!
179
00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:27,441
All those gunshots
attracted them!
180
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:28,442
We need to get out of here!
181
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:29,877
Hey, turd burglars!
182
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:32,145
Oh, yeah! The key!
183
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:37,117
Hey, throw me that hacksaw!
184
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,720
Thanks!
- Munson!
185
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,256
- Throw me another hacksaw.
- There are no more hacksaws.
186
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:43,624
This is all we have left.
187
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:47,361
How the fuck does this
help me?
188
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,296
How did they get out of this
on "The Walking Dead"?
189
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,098
Well, actually,
in episode three...
190
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,432
No, no, no, don't tell me!
191
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:55,335
I still have like a zillion
episodes on my DVR!
192
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:56,770
Oh, man, I bet the show has
193
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,839
tons of clever tips for
defeating zombies.
194
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,874
- We do!
- Wow!
195
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:04,978
"Walking Dead" creator
Robert Kirkman!
196
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,714
So...
can we have a tip?
197
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:08,882
Here's a tip.
198
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,450
Season two
of "The Walking Dead"
199
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,786
is now available
on Blu-ray and DVD!
200
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,521
Aah! Ow! Ow! Aah!
201
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:16,356
Oh! Wait a minute!
202
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,592
I never wanted to see
what that looks like!
203
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,227
Aaah!
204
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,828
Uh-oh.
205
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,166
- Ew!
- Gross!
206
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,370
It's like zombie camouflage.
207
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:33,140
Just keep acting like zombies...
no matter what.
208
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,175
Oh, hey there, Courtney!
209
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,511
Meeeeeeh, meeeh.
210
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:40,414
Uhhhh...
211
00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:42,416
Meeeeeeeh!
212
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:48,155
Uhhhhh...
213
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:55,329
I can't believe you're gonna
nail a cheerleader tonight!
214
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:59,933
I wonder if zombie boobs
still feel like boobs.
215
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:02,402
- I call dibs.
- Ugh.
216
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,304
Anyone have a Ziploc?
217
00:10:21,555 --> 00:10:24,658
Hey, everyone. I just wanna apologize
for the joke about the pesto.
218
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,994
I had dinner with my parents
the night before
219
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:29,229
and my dad made the joke
about "pesto change-o!"
220
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,498
and then he said, "hey, you
should put that into your act."
221
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:32,733
and I said,
"Ha, ha, yeah."
222
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,201
You know, like
I'm being polite.
223
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,636
But then my mama
cornered me later
224
00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:38,271
and she said it would really mean
a lot to him, so I caved.
225
00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:40,007
But this is my career,
you know,
226
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:41,308
and you guys deserve better.
227
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,243
So, again, I apologize.
228
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,978
That was a-terrible.
229
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,980
I'm-a so sorry.