1
00:00:02,427 --> 00:00:04,573
My cell phone bill is 80$ this month?
2
00:00:04,693 --> 00:00:06,162
It's 'cause I got that ridiculous
3
00:00:06,197 --> 00:00:07,564
friends and family plan,
which is so stupid,
4
00:00:07,598 --> 00:00:09,232
because the only people
I don't want to talk to
5
00:00:09,266 --> 00:00:12,035
are my friends and family.
6
00:00:12,069 --> 00:00:13,269
Yeah, you should get half off
7
00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:16,322
'cause you don't have any family.
8
00:00:16,357 --> 00:00:19,509
Okay, so my visa bill is $400.
9
00:00:19,543 --> 00:00:21,044
The minimum payment is $28,
10
00:00:21,078 --> 00:00:24,364
so I'm gonna pay them $50.
11
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I got 'em right where I want 'em.
12
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:28,568
Aw, that's the same thing you say
13
00:00:28,602 --> 00:00:31,604
after you put your bra on.
14
00:00:31,622 --> 00:00:35,325
Oh, no, I have that
student loan bill coming in.
15
00:00:35,376 --> 00:00:37,293
That officially puts me in a jam.
16
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:39,245
Whit, don't sweat it.
I'll get you out of this pickle.
17
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:42,499
I'm not in a pickle.
I'm in a jam.
18
00:00:42,550 --> 00:00:46,336
Okay, so if you could just
give me half of the $50,
19
00:00:46,387 --> 00:00:50,140
I can pay you back
as soon as my aunt dies.
20
00:00:50,174 --> 00:00:52,124
- Whit--
- Oh, God, that's right.
21
00:00:52,143 --> 00:00:53,676
I owe you $70 from last month.
22
00:00:53,727 --> 00:00:56,312
Okay, I'm sorry.
Let me just write you a check.
23
00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:57,647
Oh, my God, I'm out of checks.
24
00:00:58,766 --> 00:01:00,683
Now I'm in a pickle.
25
00:01:00,734 --> 00:01:03,069
Whit, this is insane.
We do this every month.
26
00:01:03,103 --> 00:01:06,990
Why don't we just open
a joint checking account?
27
00:01:07,024 --> 00:01:08,307
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
28
00:01:08,325 --> 00:01:11,444
It's gonna be so much easier than this.
29
00:01:11,478 --> 00:01:14,531
So what's mine is yours,
30
00:01:14,582 --> 00:01:15,982
and what's yours is mine?
31
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,283
Basically.
32
00:01:17,317 --> 00:01:19,485
I'm rich!
33
00:01:19,503 --> 00:01:21,004
Thank you!
34
00:01:21,038 --> 00:01:23,006
But look, I promise I'm gonna be
able to contribute more soon.
35
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,174
I'm waiting for that residual check
36
00:01:24,208 --> 00:01:25,625
from that makeup ad I shot last year.
37
00:01:25,659 --> 00:01:27,510
I'm gonna start hustling
for more commercial work.
38
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:31,881
And I'm totally back on track
with my kegels.
39
00:01:31,932 --> 00:01:34,934
I know.
40
00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:39,622
Whitney is taped in front
of a live studio audience.
41
00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:45,278
I've gathered you all here
42
00:01:45,312 --> 00:01:47,780
in low bar to give you
some pretty big news.
43
00:01:47,815 --> 00:01:49,065
Oh, you know, we have some
pretty big news too,
44
00:01:49,116 --> 00:01:50,349
but you go first.
45
00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:53,853
Alex and I are getting
joint checking accounts.
46
00:01:53,871 --> 00:01:55,321
As you all know,
47
00:01:55,355 --> 00:01:56,906
I've never really loved being a cop.
48
00:01:56,957 --> 00:01:58,374
Neal wanted to get a joint account,
49
00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,043
but I didn't want him to know
how much I was spending
50
00:02:00,077 --> 00:02:03,463
on Is Your Boyfriend Gay?
books.
51
00:02:03,497 --> 00:02:06,165
You should've read those.
52
00:02:06,199 --> 00:02:07,917
You guys...
53
00:02:07,968 --> 00:02:09,219
I left the police force.
54
00:02:09,253 --> 00:02:10,753
- You what?
- Oh, my God.
55
00:02:10,804 --> 00:02:12,805
Oh, my God, you double-crossed
a crime family,
56
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,893
and you're hiding out
in this basement bar?
57
00:02:16,927 --> 00:02:20,379
I let lily watch cable in my bedroom.
58
00:02:20,397 --> 00:02:22,515
Back in the day,
my dad would hang out here
59
00:02:22,549 --> 00:02:24,350
with his cop buddies, and I'd tag along.
60
00:02:24,384 --> 00:02:28,571
Uh-oh.
This is how Dexter began.
61
00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:31,274
It was so fun, and then I became a cop,
62
00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:33,610
because in my family,
that's just what you did.
63
00:02:33,661 --> 00:02:35,612
But then I realized
the only part about being a cop
64
00:02:35,663 --> 00:02:37,747
I really liked
was hanging out in this bar.
65
00:02:37,781 --> 00:02:40,232
And speeding.
66
00:02:40,251 --> 00:02:43,620
So when I saw it was for sale,
67
00:02:43,671 --> 00:02:44,754
I thought, "it's meant to be,"
68
00:02:44,788 --> 00:02:46,339
and I dumped all my savings into it
69
00:02:46,373 --> 00:02:48,458
with a few of my cop buddies,
and I'm gonna run it.
70
00:02:48,509 --> 00:02:50,076
Whoo! Are you guys shaking,
or am I?
71
00:02:51,178 --> 00:02:53,079
Mark, this is awesome.
72
00:02:53,097 --> 00:02:54,681
Oh, G--
73
00:02:54,715 --> 00:02:57,416
I am so proud of you
for doing what you love.
74
00:02:57,434 --> 00:02:58,584
Every time I hear about someone
75
00:02:58,602 --> 00:02:59,602
doing what they love,
76
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,604
I have to go
to a one-man show.
77
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,757
Okay, this is going to be amazing.
78
00:03:04,775 --> 00:03:06,059
- This is so exciting, right?
- Yeah.
79
00:03:06,093 --> 00:03:07,093
This is gonna be our new place.
80
00:03:07,111 --> 00:03:09,796
Thanks, Whit.
81
00:03:09,830 --> 00:03:11,197
I'm not gonna lie.
82
00:03:11,231 --> 00:03:12,431
It's a little weird
that you're the person here
83
00:03:12,449 --> 00:03:14,284
with the most positive attitude.
84
00:03:14,318 --> 00:03:17,403
Listen, I'm just--
I'm in shock, you know?
85
00:03:17,437 --> 00:03:19,205
But look, I'm really happy for you.
86
00:03:19,239 --> 00:03:20,957
Yeah, and I don't know
how to talk to you
87
00:03:20,991 --> 00:03:22,125
about anything since you told me
88
00:03:22,159 --> 00:03:25,161
you were in love with me.
89
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:33,052
You guys grab a booth.
90
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,387
- Okay.
- Yeah.
91
00:03:34,421 --> 00:03:36,306
I'll bring some beers over.
92
00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:37,790
I sure hope he knows what he's doing.
93
00:03:37,808 --> 00:03:39,726
Why is everybody being
so negative about this?
94
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:41,561
Is this what it's like to talk to me?
95
00:03:41,595 --> 00:03:43,980
- Yes.
- Yeah.
96
00:03:44,014 --> 00:03:46,733
Guys, it's just so weird.
97
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:48,101
Should I just say something to mark?
98
00:03:48,135 --> 00:03:50,770
I mean, I just want things
to be cool with us,
99
00:03:50,804 --> 00:03:54,240
especially now that he owns a bar.
100
00:03:54,274 --> 00:03:56,409
No, I would leave it alone.
It's like a cold sore.
101
00:03:56,443 --> 00:03:59,329
It'll go away within three to six weeks.
102
00:03:59,363 --> 00:04:01,698
Why is everything a cold sore to you?
103
00:04:01,749 --> 00:04:04,751
I think you know why.
104
00:04:07,671 --> 00:04:09,005
Hey, mark.
105
00:04:09,039 --> 00:04:12,158
'Sup?
106
00:04:12,176 --> 00:04:14,160
Uh, listen.
107
00:04:14,178 --> 00:04:15,845
Mark, congrats.
108
00:04:15,879 --> 00:04:17,329
I think this is really awesome.
109
00:04:17,348 --> 00:04:18,931
Thanks.
110
00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:21,551
Look, I just don't want
there to be any weirdness.
111
00:04:21,602 --> 00:04:23,202
No, there's no weirdness.
112
00:04:23,237 --> 00:04:25,188
Oh, great.
113
00:04:25,222 --> 00:04:27,173
So it's cool
that we're not gonna--
114
00:04:27,191 --> 00:04:31,227
Oh, we're gonna.
115
00:04:31,278 --> 00:04:32,278
What?
116
00:04:32,312 --> 00:04:34,513
Roxanne, this is gonna happen.
117
00:04:34,531 --> 00:04:36,983
Okay, well, I don't think it is.
118
00:04:37,017 --> 00:04:40,019
That's cute.
You can go now.
119
00:04:42,856 --> 00:04:43,956
Okay, I will.
120
00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:47,160
- Bye.
- Ok--
121
00:04:47,194 --> 00:04:50,196
You bye.
122
00:04:55,052 --> 00:04:57,136
Yeah, I'm lookin' at it.
123
00:04:57,171 --> 00:05:00,173
You work for me now.
124
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:05,678
So we'll just need
125
00:05:05,712 --> 00:05:07,546
each of your checking account balances.
126
00:05:07,564 --> 00:05:10,683
Uh, yeah, well, we both
brought printouts for you.
127
00:05:10,717 --> 00:05:13,269
You know, I'm kinda nervous
for you to see my number.
128
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,188
Like, as nervous as I was
129
00:05:15,222 --> 00:05:17,223
when I told you my other number.
130
00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:20,226
I actually think this one
might be lower.
131
00:05:20,244 --> 00:05:21,661
Whit, don't worry about it.
132
00:05:21,695 --> 00:05:23,863
I'm obviously not with you
for your money, you know?
133
00:05:23,897 --> 00:05:26,532
You're a trophy wife.
134
00:05:26,566 --> 00:05:29,568
Third place.
135
00:05:33,173 --> 00:05:35,591
Okay, just keep in mind
this does not include
136
00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:38,628
the $20 I have in pesos.
137
00:05:41,131 --> 00:05:42,131
Wow, that's actually much higher
138
00:05:42,182 --> 00:05:43,382
than I thought it would be.
139
00:05:43,416 --> 00:05:46,519
Look at you with that comma.
140
00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:50,640
All right, here's mine.
141
00:05:55,612 --> 00:05:56,909
That's it?
142
00:06:00,207 --> 00:06:01,786
What do you mean, that's it?
143
00:06:01,803 --> 00:06:02,670
That is not what I meant.
144
00:06:02,761 --> 00:06:03,978
Whit, you looked at the amount of money
145
00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:06,481
I have to my name,
and you said, "that's it?"
146
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:07,648
No, no, no.
147
00:06:07,699 --> 00:06:10,234
I mean, like, "that's it," as in,
148
00:06:10,268 --> 00:06:12,452
that is the number in your account
149
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:14,605
that I saw.
150
00:06:15,194 --> 00:06:16,795
You don't think that's a lot of money?
151
00:06:16,829 --> 00:06:18,263
No, I do--
I mean, it is.
152
00:06:18,297 --> 00:06:20,014
I just--
153
00:06:20,032 --> 00:06:22,067
You sold your website,
so--
154
00:06:22,118 --> 00:06:23,485
So?
155
00:06:23,519 --> 00:06:24,901
So...
156
00:06:25,021 --> 00:06:29,124
I saw The Social Network.
157
00:06:29,158 --> 00:06:30,125
So?
158
00:06:30,159 --> 00:06:31,159
That guy was hanging out
159
00:06:31,193 --> 00:06:32,993
with Justin Timberlake.
160
00:06:35,831 --> 00:06:37,749
How much money did you think I had?
161
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:38,967
I don't know.
I d--I just--
162
00:06:39,001 --> 00:06:40,969
I just thought it was more than that.
163
00:06:41,003 --> 00:06:44,005
What, you thought I was,
like, a millionaire?
164
00:06:47,059 --> 00:06:49,377
I didn't not.
165
00:06:49,412 --> 00:06:52,180
You thought I had millions of dollars?
166
00:06:52,214 --> 00:06:55,550
We shop at whole foods!
167
00:06:55,568 --> 00:06:57,602
I--I know,
but living is expensive.
168
00:06:57,653 --> 00:06:59,020
You know, I mean, I have a mortgage,
169
00:06:59,054 --> 00:07:00,405
and we live together now.
170
00:07:00,439 --> 00:07:02,056
Two is more expensive than one.
171
00:07:02,074 --> 00:07:04,359
And you don't exactly
have money coming in, so--
172
00:07:04,393 --> 00:07:07,996
Oh, my God.
I'm draining you.
173
00:07:08,030 --> 00:07:11,082
Only mentally.
174
00:07:11,117 --> 00:07:12,667
God, I-I mean,
I feel--
175
00:07:12,702 --> 00:07:14,169
I feel terrible.
176
00:07:14,203 --> 00:07:16,087
I mean, I'm the reason
that you don't have any money.
177
00:07:16,122 --> 00:07:19,124
No, I have money!
178
00:07:22,044 --> 00:07:23,244
Okay, you know what?
179
00:07:23,262 --> 00:07:25,263
We got this, okay?
I can totally handle this.
180
00:07:25,297 --> 00:07:27,749
I grew up poor.
181
00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:30,135
I'm not poor.
182
00:07:30,186 --> 00:07:32,687
You're poor.
183
00:07:32,722 --> 00:07:35,557
We're middle class.
184
00:07:35,591 --> 00:07:38,593
We got two TVs.
185
00:07:41,597 --> 00:07:44,282
Alex, we are gonna be fine, okay?
186
00:07:44,316 --> 00:07:45,533
I grew up without any money.
187
00:07:45,568 --> 00:07:47,452
I'm really good
at getting by on nothing.
188
00:07:47,486 --> 00:07:49,370
I can make one women's calcium chew
189
00:07:49,405 --> 00:07:51,573
last six days.
190
00:07:51,607 --> 00:07:53,491
Okay?
We are gonna be fine.
191
00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:55,744
- We are fine.
- No, I need to cut back.
192
00:07:55,778 --> 00:07:58,112
I'm gonna stop using
both cream and lotion.
193
00:07:58,130 --> 00:08:01,382
That's ridiculous.
What am I, the queen?
194
00:08:01,417 --> 00:08:03,084
Whit, you don't have to do that.
195
00:08:03,118 --> 00:08:04,552
No, I need to start
pulling my weight around here.
196
00:08:04,587 --> 00:08:05,837
You know what?
I'm gonna get a jug
197
00:08:05,888 --> 00:08:07,639
of that all-in-one
shampoo-conditioner-body gel,
198
00:08:07,673 --> 00:08:11,309
and there's one you can use
as toothpaste too.
199
00:08:11,343 --> 00:08:13,678
I'm not gonna brush my teeth
with shampoo.
200
00:08:13,729 --> 00:08:16,064
Oh, Lunesta is way too expensive.
201
00:08:16,098 --> 00:08:17,098
I don't need it to sleep.
202
00:08:17,132 --> 00:08:18,316
From now on, before bed,
203
00:08:18,350 --> 00:08:21,352
you can just punch me
in the back of the neck.
204
00:08:21,403 --> 00:08:22,604
You may not have wait until bedtime
205
00:08:22,638 --> 00:08:23,772
for that to happen.
206
00:08:23,806 --> 00:08:25,156
Oh, I'll call Lorraine,
207
00:08:25,191 --> 00:08:26,658
who runs that gallery down on Halsted.
208
00:08:26,692 --> 00:08:28,109
Oh, great, so you can sell her
some of your work?
209
00:08:28,143 --> 00:08:29,477
No, I need to make some money,
210
00:08:29,495 --> 00:08:30,662
so I'm gonna see
if maybe she needs, like,
211
00:08:30,696 --> 00:08:31,979
a part-time assistant.
212
00:08:31,997 --> 00:08:33,615
You know, like, I could do,
like, framing work or--
213
00:08:33,649 --> 00:08:34,749
Whit, you don't have to do that.
214
00:08:34,784 --> 00:08:36,918
I--I should not be
mooching off you.
215
00:08:36,952 --> 00:08:38,369
Look, Whit, it's okay, all right?
216
00:08:38,404 --> 00:08:39,788
I'm gonna have some money coming in
217
00:08:39,822 --> 00:08:40,872
when I sell my next idea.
218
00:08:40,923 --> 00:08:42,457
Oh.
219
00:08:42,491 --> 00:08:44,926
Uh, when, approximately,
uh, will that be,
220
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,628
do you think?
221
00:08:46,662 --> 00:08:48,680
Soon, when I think of it.
222
00:08:48,714 --> 00:08:50,014
Oh--
Do you need some help?
223
00:08:50,049 --> 00:08:51,966
'Cause I am really good
at brainstorming.
224
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,220
I mean, there is always
a storm in my brain.
225
00:08:55,271 --> 00:08:58,473
You--
I don't need any help.
226
00:08:58,507 --> 00:09:01,976
I don't need any help...
dot-com?
227
00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:04,312
Come on.
228
00:09:06,448 --> 00:09:10,518
I'll take a Heineken on the house.
229
00:09:10,536 --> 00:09:12,570
Oh, you don't have wi-fi?
230
00:09:12,605 --> 00:09:15,123
Nope. I don't want customers
on their phones all the time.
231
00:09:15,157 --> 00:09:16,708
People should have human connections
232
00:09:16,742 --> 00:09:18,526
and actually talk to each other.
233
00:09:18,561 --> 00:09:20,461
But, mark, mark.
234
00:09:20,496 --> 00:09:23,998
Nobody wants to talk to each other.
235
00:09:24,032 --> 00:09:26,551
Yeah, words are out.
236
00:09:26,585 --> 00:09:27,869
But I want this place to be like Cheers,
237
00:09:27,887 --> 00:09:29,304
where everybody knows your name.
238
00:09:29,338 --> 00:09:30,638
Well, if you don't get wireless,
239
00:09:30,673 --> 00:09:32,790
I'm afraid this bar
is gonna be where everybody
240
00:09:32,825 --> 00:09:35,760
is somewhere else.
241
00:09:35,811 --> 00:09:37,729
When it comes to bars, I think I know
242
00:09:37,763 --> 00:09:39,647
a little bit more than you.
243
00:09:39,682 --> 00:09:42,650
And a little less than Roxanne.
244
00:09:42,685 --> 00:09:44,352
Okay, fine,
don't get wi-fi.
245
00:09:44,386 --> 00:09:48,072
I'm sure the Internet's
just a fad anyway.
246
00:09:48,107 --> 00:09:50,525
Hey, can I get a lime?
247
00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,244
A lime.
A lime, lime, lime...
248
00:09:53,279 --> 00:09:54,829
Lime, lime, lime,
lime, lime, lime, lime...
249
00:09:54,864 --> 00:09:59,250
Lily, I'm drowning!
I have no idea what I'm doing!
250
00:09:59,285 --> 00:10:01,035
I have never been so scared
in all my life,
251
00:10:01,069 --> 00:10:04,222
and I have been shot at!
252
00:10:04,256 --> 00:10:06,541
Stop looking at me!
253
00:10:06,575 --> 00:10:08,927
Mark, it's gonna be okay.
254
00:10:08,961 --> 00:10:10,094
Oh, I don't know.
255
00:10:10,129 --> 00:10:12,380
Last night I dreamed
that the bar ate me.
256
00:10:12,414 --> 00:10:14,349
Okay, come here.
257
00:10:14,383 --> 00:10:15,516
Listen to me.
258
00:10:15,551 --> 00:10:18,636
I have been through something
like this, okay?
259
00:10:18,687 --> 00:10:20,388
Yeah, I-I was
in grad school,
260
00:10:20,422 --> 00:10:22,023
set to get a degree in marketing,
261
00:10:22,057 --> 00:10:24,091
but for fun, I would write
these little reviews
262
00:10:24,109 --> 00:10:25,610
of restaurants around campus.
263
00:10:25,644 --> 00:10:28,446
And it just made me so happy.
264
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:30,949
So I bailed out on school,
265
00:10:30,983 --> 00:10:33,318
gave up having a really stable job
266
00:10:33,369 --> 00:10:34,702
to start my food blog,
267
00:10:34,737 --> 00:10:38,272
and when I started it, I had nothing.
268
00:10:38,290 --> 00:10:43,144
Look at me now.
269
00:10:43,178 --> 00:10:46,381
You still have nothing.
270
00:10:46,415 --> 00:10:49,217
No, I have less than nothing.
271
00:10:49,251 --> 00:10:51,786
I'm in debt,
I'm sleeping on Roxanne's couch,
272
00:10:51,804 --> 00:10:53,021
I don't have health insurance,
273
00:10:53,055 --> 00:10:54,455
I have a mole
with irregular borders--
274
00:10:54,473 --> 00:10:57,425
Oh, my God, what have I done?
275
00:10:57,459 --> 00:10:59,394
No, no, lily.
Lily, lily, lily.
276
00:10:59,428 --> 00:11:00,812
It's gonna be fine.
277
00:11:00,846 --> 00:11:03,097
Yeah. Yeah. I'm--
278
00:11:03,131 --> 00:11:04,966
I'm gonna be okay, right?
279
00:11:04,984 --> 00:11:06,734
I don't know,
but you just made me realize
280
00:11:06,769 --> 00:11:09,737
that I am.
281
00:11:09,772 --> 00:11:12,774
Oh, a lime.
282
00:11:17,279 --> 00:11:18,329
Oh, my God.
283
00:11:18,364 --> 00:11:20,583
What is going on there?
284
00:11:20,703 --> 00:11:22,867
I'm using
this new all-in-one shampoo.
285
00:11:22,918 --> 00:11:26,955
It also gets out tough stains
on carpeting.
286
00:11:26,989 --> 00:11:28,126
Tough stains?
287
00:11:28,246 --> 00:11:31,960
Did you have a party and not invite me?
288
00:11:31,994 --> 00:11:33,105
I got it.
289
00:11:33,215 --> 00:11:34,182
Oh, no, we'll split it.
290
00:11:34,216 --> 00:11:37,001
Yeah, Roxanne's got it.
291
00:11:37,019 --> 00:11:39,888
What are you doing?
292
00:11:39,922 --> 00:11:42,474
Alex, is it your birthday?
293
00:11:42,508 --> 00:11:43,475
No. Here, give it to me.
I got it.
294
00:11:43,509 --> 00:11:44,693
No, they want to pay.
295
00:11:44,727 --> 00:11:46,361
You should not have to pay
for my girlfriends.
296
00:11:46,395 --> 00:11:49,614
Yeah, it's ridiculous
that Alex always pays.
297
00:11:49,649 --> 00:11:50,782
Just because he sold a website
298
00:11:50,816 --> 00:11:52,311
doesn't mean he's a millionaire.
299
00:11:58,407 --> 00:12:01,192
Ohh, I'm sorry.
I get it now.
300
00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:02,627
Hey, we're gonna split it.
301
00:12:02,662 --> 00:12:04,412
This group sticks together
through thick and thin, buddy.
302
00:12:04,463 --> 00:12:05,530
I got your back.
303
00:12:05,564 --> 00:12:07,229
And I got your front.
304
00:12:14,173 --> 00:12:15,540
Roxanne, give me the check.
305
00:12:15,558 --> 00:12:18,374
Alex, you are not gonna pay
for all of us,
306
00:12:18,494 --> 00:12:19,683
you nut.
307
00:12:20,797 --> 00:12:23,064
Wait, don't we get a discount
because we know you?
308
00:12:23,099 --> 00:12:26,017
You don't know me.
309
00:12:26,051 --> 00:12:28,019
All right, Roxanne,
you had the turkey burger,
310
00:12:28,053 --> 00:12:30,855
but you also ate
half of my salmon, so--
311
00:12:30,889 --> 00:12:33,191
Well--okay, well,
that means I had the turkey
312
00:12:33,225 --> 00:12:34,909
and the salmon.
313
00:12:34,944 --> 00:12:38,730
God, it's like a Pixar movie
in my stomach.
314
00:12:38,748 --> 00:12:41,733
Well, that solves
the big salmon mystery.
315
00:12:41,767 --> 00:12:44,169
Does anyone have change for a 50?
316
00:12:44,203 --> 00:12:47,572
Does anyone have a 50?
317
00:12:47,590 --> 00:12:48,740
Look at that.
It's all done.
318
00:12:48,758 --> 00:12:50,041
- Agh!
- No.
319
00:12:50,075 --> 00:12:51,509
- Alex, I wanted to get it.
- Thank you so much.
320
00:12:51,544 --> 00:12:54,546
Oh, all right.
321
00:12:57,433 --> 00:13:00,435
Bro, we're looking for a hostess.
322
00:13:03,355 --> 00:13:04,756
- Alex--
- No, you know what?
323
00:13:04,774 --> 00:13:06,090
I am so mad, I can't even look at you.
324
00:13:06,108 --> 00:13:08,092
All right?
That was really embarrassing.
325
00:13:08,110 --> 00:13:09,444
Okay, I-I'm really sorry.
326
00:13:13,582 --> 00:13:15,950
Do you want to go home, take a shower?
327
00:13:15,985 --> 00:13:18,987
'Cause my boobs are really dirty.
328
00:13:25,294 --> 00:13:26,838
Fine.
329
00:13:30,849 --> 00:13:32,608
Hey, guess what?
330
00:13:32,632 --> 00:13:34,988
I just went to the flagship
dollar store,
331
00:13:35,039 --> 00:13:37,540
and they have produce.
332
00:13:37,574 --> 00:13:38,625
These grapes look pretty old,
333
00:13:38,659 --> 00:13:40,276
but I'm thinking in a couple days,
334
00:13:40,294 --> 00:13:42,395
we are gonna have a nice red wine.
335
00:13:42,429 --> 00:13:44,097
Cool.
336
00:13:44,131 --> 00:13:47,450
- What are you eating?
- Sushi.
337
00:13:47,468 --> 00:13:49,936
Um, Sushi is so expensive.
338
00:13:49,970 --> 00:13:51,454
Please tell me you got that yourself
339
00:13:51,472 --> 00:13:53,673
out of lake Michigan.
340
00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:56,342
Nope.
Got this stuff delivered.
341
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,677
Figured I'd splurge.
342
00:13:57,728 --> 00:14:00,296
Splurge. Okay, um,
we're in a depression,
343
00:14:00,314 --> 00:14:03,182
which means I'm in two.
344
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:07,570
You should try some of this toro.
345
00:14:07,604 --> 00:14:08,771
No, thank you.
346
00:14:08,805 --> 00:14:13,326
I'll be having some
what is probably celery.
347
00:14:16,363 --> 00:14:18,331
What is that box?
348
00:14:18,365 --> 00:14:20,950
Oh, just some super cool
new shades I bought today
349
00:14:20,984 --> 00:14:22,702
for my...
350
00:14:22,753 --> 00:14:24,704
Fa-chay.
351
00:14:24,755 --> 00:14:27,256
Okay, you don't buy sunglasses.
352
00:14:27,291 --> 00:14:30,043
You find them on the train.
353
00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:31,494
Nope.
354
00:14:31,512 --> 00:14:33,029
Picked these little puppies up today
355
00:14:33,063 --> 00:14:36,799
after I filled up my car
with premium gas.
356
00:14:39,353 --> 00:14:41,270
That's Ramona.
357
00:14:41,305 --> 00:14:45,441
Um, please tell me that's a prostitute.
358
00:14:45,476 --> 00:14:47,843
Nope.
Got us a cleaning lady.
359
00:14:47,861 --> 00:14:49,562
We'll see you next week, Ramona.
360
00:14:49,613 --> 00:14:50,813
Thank you.
361
00:14:50,847 --> 00:14:53,516
Ramona...
362
00:14:53,534 --> 00:14:55,451
I ordered too much food.
363
00:14:55,486 --> 00:14:56,486
Would you like some Sushi?
364
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,238
I would love some.
365
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:01,124
Why are you giving her food?
366
00:15:01,158 --> 00:15:04,143
She's the only one of us that has a job.
367
00:15:10,417 --> 00:15:12,552
I hate this.
368
00:15:12,586 --> 00:15:15,254
What? That doesn't really
narrow it down.
369
00:15:16,390 --> 00:15:18,040
Begging for jobs, you know.
370
00:15:18,058 --> 00:15:21,677
I just--just hate seeming
desperate.
371
00:15:21,711 --> 00:15:22,895
Whoa, what are you doing?
372
00:15:22,930 --> 00:15:24,647
Okay, well, if you hadn't spent
373
00:15:24,681 --> 00:15:28,234
$300 on sunglasses,
as if visors didn't exist,
374
00:15:28,268 --> 00:15:31,387
I would not be forced to pilfer bread.
375
00:15:31,405 --> 00:15:34,023
Put these nuts in your pocket.
376
00:15:34,057 --> 00:15:35,274
Oh, great, they'll replace the ones
377
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:38,528
I used to have there.
378
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:40,780
What's that all about?
There.
379
00:15:40,831 --> 00:15:43,332
Oh, broken Jack Daniels bottle
with a baby.
380
00:15:43,367 --> 00:15:45,067
He's just trying to be original.
381
00:15:45,085 --> 00:15:46,085
Oh, that's not original.
382
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,120
I've seen that exact picture
383
00:15:47,171 --> 00:15:50,039
in your family's photo album.
384
00:15:50,073 --> 00:15:51,407
This stuff sucks.
385
00:15:51,425 --> 00:15:53,593
Yeah.
386
00:15:53,627 --> 00:15:56,245
This is really bad.
I mean, that's a puddle.
387
00:15:56,263 --> 00:15:57,413
Like, I would take
that photo by accident
388
00:15:57,431 --> 00:15:59,715
with my butt.
389
00:15:59,749 --> 00:16:01,750
"Sara Spencer."
390
00:16:01,769 --> 00:16:04,637
Sara Spencer did that?
Come on.
391
00:16:04,688 --> 00:16:06,189
I mean, the only reason
anyone shows her work
392
00:16:06,223 --> 00:16:07,306
is 'cause she did an exhibit
393
00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:10,393
where she stuffed her boobs into jars.
394
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:13,279
Ohh, Sara.
395
00:16:13,313 --> 00:16:14,947
What's even more annoying is some idiot
396
00:16:14,982 --> 00:16:16,232
who knows nothing about art
397
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:19,152
is gonna pay 800 bucks for that.
398
00:16:19,203 --> 00:16:21,037
Okay, now I'm just mad.
399
00:16:21,071 --> 00:16:23,739
What were you before?
400
00:16:23,773 --> 00:16:24,957
Whitney.
401
00:16:24,992 --> 00:16:26,459
Lorraine, hi!
402
00:16:26,493 --> 00:16:28,411
I just, um, I wanted to stop by
403
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:30,079
to see if, you know, you need any help
404
00:16:30,113 --> 00:16:31,581
around the gallery--
you know,
405
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:33,299
like an assistant or, you know,
406
00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:35,334
like a nude model.
407
00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:38,671
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
We're all staffed up.
408
00:16:38,722 --> 00:16:41,457
But I'd love to see any photos
you've taken lately.
409
00:16:41,475 --> 00:16:43,342
Oh, no, I don't have anything.
410
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,594
I mean, I've been shooting,
411
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:46,095
but none of it's good enough.
412
00:16:46,129 --> 00:16:48,314
Um, this is Alex.
413
00:16:48,348 --> 00:16:49,465
Hi, Lorraine.
414
00:16:49,483 --> 00:16:53,769
Um, I'd like to purchase that puddle.
415
00:16:53,803 --> 00:16:55,137
What?
416
00:16:55,155 --> 00:16:57,073
Great, I'll ring you up
417
00:16:57,107 --> 00:17:00,776
for Sara Spencer's Urine on the Floor.
418
00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:02,278
Oh.
419
00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:05,314
Uh, yeah.
420
00:17:11,205 --> 00:17:12,705
So you just spent $800
421
00:17:12,756 --> 00:17:14,207
on a terrible piece of art
422
00:17:14,258 --> 00:17:15,958
even after I told you how bad it was.
423
00:17:15,992 --> 00:17:18,661
Yeah.
424
00:17:18,679 --> 00:17:20,179
That is so irresponsible.
425
00:17:20,214 --> 00:17:22,598
Yeah.
426
00:17:22,633 --> 00:17:23,766
Fine.
You made your point, okay?
427
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,768
You can spend your money
however you want.
428
00:17:25,802 --> 00:17:28,271
Yeah, I can.
You know why?
429
00:17:28,305 --> 00:17:29,472
Because I have faith in myself,
430
00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,774
unlike you.
431
00:17:31,808 --> 00:17:33,052
What?
I have faith in you.
432
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,302
No, you don't.
433
00:17:34,337 --> 00:17:35,387
You acting like you don't know
434
00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:36,704
where our next meal is coming from
435
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,590
is not you having faith in me.
436
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:41,760
Okay, no, our next meal is in my purse.
437
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:45,230
You don't believe in me,
and you know what?
438
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,482
- It really sucks.
- Alex--
439
00:17:47,516 --> 00:17:48,984
You don't think I'm gonna get
another thing going.
440
00:17:49,018 --> 00:17:50,402
No, I totally think you're
gonna get another thing going
441
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:51,903
as soon as you start working.
442
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,355
Wow, you--
443
00:17:53,389 --> 00:17:55,740
you don't think I'm working?
444
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:56,825
Well, are you?
445
00:17:56,859 --> 00:17:59,027
Yeah, I work all the time.
446
00:17:59,061 --> 00:18:01,112
Okay, well,
447
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,331
yesterday you went to mark's
to watch the game,
448
00:18:03,366 --> 00:18:05,900
and the day before that,
you went on a bike ride.
449
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:09,471
You read books.
450
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:10,571
Yeah, that's me working, all right?
451
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,123
I'm always working.
452
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,842
You know where I was
when I thought of Mendeavors?
453
00:18:13,876 --> 00:18:15,410
Where?
454
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,678
I was standing outside of Wrigley field
455
00:18:16,712 --> 00:18:18,413
in the pouring rain,
trying to fix my umbrella.
456
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,882
That's--
that's how my mind works.
457
00:18:20,916 --> 00:18:23,051
Okay, well, how was I
supposed to know that?
458
00:18:23,085 --> 00:18:24,386
Because it's the first sentence
459
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:27,272
on my website.
460
00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:29,641
Oh.
461
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:31,109
You know what?
Let me ask you a question.
462
00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:33,144
Why were you
so blindly supportive of mark
463
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,429
quitting his job and running a bar,
464
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:38,617
yet you're afraid that I'm gonna fail?
465
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:39,734
Oh.
466
00:18:39,768 --> 00:18:42,153
Yeah.
467
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,622
I'm not gonna spend
468
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,440
the rest of my life with mark.
469
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,941
Yeah, well, if you're gonna spend
470
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,109
the rest of your life with me,
471
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,110
you gotta trust me.
472
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,445
Ugh.
473
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,832
That word.
474
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:54,916
Yeah.
475
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:56,835
So you just thought of that idea
476
00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:59,620
in the middle of the rain?
477
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,657
You're, like, really smart or something?
478
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,796
You working right now?
479
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,598
Let's put it this way.
480
00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:14,235
If you're talking, I'm working.
481
00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:16,154
Oh, so I'm like the rain?
482
00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:19,190
Sure.
483
00:19:22,778 --> 00:19:24,779
So you're gonna throw away
that photo, right?
484
00:19:24,813 --> 00:19:26,331
Nope.
We're keeping the photo.
485
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,416
Okay, so you want to break up?
486
00:19:28,451 --> 00:19:30,151
Look, the reason why I bought this
487
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,870
is to put it on your desk,
488
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,755
so it would remind you how good you are
489
00:19:33,789 --> 00:19:35,623
and hopefully piss you off enough
490
00:19:35,657 --> 00:19:37,292
to make you want to start
selling your own work.
491
00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:39,594
Your stuff belongs on the walls
in that gallery.
492
00:19:39,628 --> 00:19:40,762
It is good enough.
493
00:19:40,796 --> 00:19:42,597
I think it's too weird.
494
00:19:42,631 --> 00:19:45,333
N--your photos are amazing, all right?
495
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,502
And tomorrow, you're gonna show
them to Lorraine.
496
00:19:47,536 --> 00:19:49,304
Except for the naked ones of you.
497
00:19:49,338 --> 00:19:53,692
And me.
I'm--I'll weed through them.
498
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,676
Fine.
499
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,028
If you say so.
500
00:19:57,063 --> 00:20:00,181
I say so.
501
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,067
You know that I believe in you, right?
502
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:04,652
Like, more than anything.
503
00:20:04,686 --> 00:20:05,904
If you say so.
504
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,655
Seriously.
505
00:20:07,689 --> 00:20:10,241
And I just--
I'm sorry.
506
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,859
I-I was just--
507
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:13,461
I was so broke for so long
508
00:20:13,496 --> 00:20:16,998
that I think I just kind of lose my mind
509
00:20:17,032 --> 00:20:18,533
when it comes to money stuff.
510
00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:21,720
Money stuff?
511
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:24,889
All stuff?
512
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,508
Look, I'm so sorry.
513
00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:29,961
And I promise that...
514
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:31,563
It will happen again.
515
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:33,515
And again and again
and again and again and again
516
00:20:33,549 --> 00:20:35,550
and again and again
and again and again and--
517
00:20:36,341 --> 00:20:38,367
First time using the bank card.
518
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,686
Okay. All right.
So what's our code?
519
00:20:39,688 --> 00:20:41,020
Oh, is it your computer password?
520
00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:43,690
Yeah, it's just--
521
00:20:43,692 --> 00:20:45,608
What's your computer password?
522
00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:47,295
Just hurry up.
It's freezing.
523
00:20:47,415 --> 00:20:49,245
Okay. Um, $100.
524
00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:52,248
No, we would not like a receipt.
525
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,366
$3?
526
00:20:53,368 --> 00:20:55,502
It's a service charge.
Just say yes.
527
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:58,716
Okay, I have to pay $3
to take out a hundred doll--
528
00:20:58,836 --> 00:21:00,757
I have to pay for my own money?
529
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:03,459
Who's in charge here?
My dad?
530
00:21:03,461 --> 00:21:05,261
Thieves!
531
00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:06,629
Just say yes.
532
00:21:06,631 --> 00:21:08,348
We've been waiting
out in the cold for 20 minutes.
533
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:09,883
Okay, last time I waited
out in the cold this long,
534
00:21:09,885 --> 00:21:13,052
I made a lot more than $3.
535
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:16,439
Sorry.
536
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:18,531
Uh, and by the way, we can, uh,
537
00:21:18,651 --> 00:21:20,513
afford the $3.
538
00:21:20,633 --> 00:21:22,816
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com