1 00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:11,593 (exclaiming) 2 00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:17,949 (school bell ringing) 3 00:00:20,670 --> 00:00:21,703 (Barney belches) 4 00:00:21,737 --> 00:00:23,705 (whistle blows) 5 00:00:23,739 --> 00:00:25,740 (yells) 6 00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:31,179 (beeping) 7 00:00:36,385 --> 00:00:38,470 (playing the blues) 8 00:00:39,505 --> 00:00:43,208 (playing the blues) 9 00:00:46,295 --> 00:00:47,462 D'oh! 10 00:00:47,496 --> 00:00:48,463 (tires screeching) 11 00:00:48,497 --> 00:00:50,131 (grunts) 12 00:00:51,133 --> 00:00:52,701 (yelling) 13 00:00:52,726 --> 00:00:56,726 ♪ The Simpsons 24x06 ♪ A Tree Grows in Springfield Original Air Date on November 25, 2012 14 00:00:56,751 --> 00:01:00,751 == sync, corrected by elderman == 15 00:01:03,045 --> 00:01:05,046 (snoring) 16 00:01:07,316 --> 00:01:08,945 BASEBALL ANNOUNCER: It's the World Series, two outs, 17 00:01:08,970 --> 00:01:10,368 bottom of the ninth. 18 00:01:10,369 --> 00:01:11,670 Yes, we're at the point 19 00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:13,972 where baseball becomes mildly interesting. 20 00:01:14,006 --> 00:01:17,309 Can Homer Simpson, fresh off an anxiety dream 21 00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:19,344 about not studying for a high school test, 22 00:01:19,378 --> 00:01:22,547 come into this dream and knock one out of the park? 23 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,316 And who'da thunk it? 24 00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:25,750 We're food too! 25 00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:28,236 And apparently I'm married to a pork chop 26 00:01:28,271 --> 00:01:30,405 and have drumstick children. 27 00:01:30,439 --> 00:01:32,407 How did that happen? 28 00:01:32,441 --> 00:01:35,310 (snoring) 29 00:01:35,344 --> 00:01:36,878 BASEBALL ANNOUNCER: We're back... (belches) 30 00:01:36,913 --> 00:01:39,064 The pitcher, Steroid Santa Claus, 31 00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:40,699 kicks and deals. 32 00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:43,985 It's a long fly ball, going back! Back! 33 00:01:44,019 --> 00:01:46,154 And the ball shatters the sky, 34 00:01:46,188 --> 00:01:49,624 bringing the ocean itself down into the stadium! 35 00:01:49,659 --> 00:01:53,378 Whoa, Simpson just broke this dream's reality wide open! 36 00:01:53,412 --> 00:01:55,830 The groundskeepers are trying to put on the tarp, 37 00:01:55,864 --> 00:01:59,384 but it turned into a manta ray and stung them all. 38 00:01:59,418 --> 00:02:02,070 Now, we'll be right back after this word from oxygen, 39 00:02:02,104 --> 00:02:04,706 which Homer desperately needs to live. 40 00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:06,241 (gurgling) 41 00:02:06,275 --> 00:02:08,276 (coughing, spitting) 42 00:02:10,212 --> 00:02:12,097 MARGE: Homer! The roof is leaking! 43 00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:13,815 Water's coming in the house, 44 00:02:13,849 --> 00:02:15,650 and we've got carpet mushrooms. 45 00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,989 Dad, all the jury summons you buried in the back yard 46 00:02:21,023 --> 00:02:22,257 are coming back up. 47 00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:27,045 (humming) 48 00:02:29,598 --> 00:02:31,566 While you were out there daydreaming, 49 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,351 this rain has ruined the house. 50 00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:34,786 (sighs deeply) 51 00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:36,905 Marge, in a crisis like this, 52 00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:39,607 I need time for quiet contemplation. 53 00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:46,414 What's wrong, Homer? 54 00:02:46,432 --> 00:02:48,633 You got an expression on your face I ain't never seen before. 55 00:02:48,684 --> 00:02:51,019 Like one of them Charlie Brown wiggle-frowns. 56 00:02:51,053 --> 00:02:55,190 I'm in an abusive relationship with life. 57 00:02:55,224 --> 00:02:56,791 It keeps beating the hell out of me, 58 00:02:56,826 --> 00:02:58,443 and I'm too cowardly to leave it. 59 00:02:58,477 --> 00:02:59,611 (sighs) 60 00:02:59,645 --> 00:03:01,613 Maybe I could drink myself to death. 61 00:03:01,647 --> 00:03:02,981 Eh, well, you can't. 62 00:03:03,015 --> 00:03:04,549 Your tolerance is too high. 63 00:03:04,583 --> 00:03:09,454 Man, I've never seen Homer looking this bad. 64 00:03:11,757 --> 00:03:12,874 You're right. 65 00:03:12,908 --> 00:03:14,893 He needs some professional help. 66 00:03:15,828 --> 00:03:17,796 ♪ Oh yeah... 67 00:03:19,498 --> 00:03:22,667 Ooh, someone is down in the Duff! 68 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,136 Life is too fragile. 69 00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:27,872 One minute you're lying in your hammock drinking beer, 70 00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:31,910 the next thing you know you're sittin' here drinkin' beer. 71 00:03:31,944 --> 00:03:36,314 Homer, your bleak outlook has sent a smooth, icy chill down... 72 00:03:36,348 --> 00:03:38,483 Ah, screw it. I quit. 73 00:03:38,517 --> 00:03:40,752 Janette, Cheryl, get your own ride home. 74 00:03:44,623 --> 00:03:47,642 Aw, come on, Chief. I've had a rotten day. 75 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:48,927 Can't you help me out? 76 00:03:48,961 --> 00:03:50,795 Sorry, I'm afraid the most I can do 77 00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,230 is pretend to drive you home. 78 00:03:52,264 --> 00:03:55,050 Okay, now hop on my imaginary motorcycle... 79 00:03:55,084 --> 00:03:56,668 arms around my belly... 80 00:03:56,702 --> 00:03:59,687 (imitates motorcycle revving) 81 00:03:59,722 --> 00:04:02,490 Um, I'm gonna need you to chip in for gas. 82 00:04:02,525 --> 00:04:03,892 Argh. 83 00:04:03,926 --> 00:04:06,594 This is where the pretending ends. 84 00:04:13,569 --> 00:04:15,053 Oh... 85 00:04:15,087 --> 00:04:16,254 Now what? 86 00:04:16,288 --> 00:04:18,523 You're coming with us to the school fundraiser. 87 00:04:18,557 --> 00:04:20,425 Can this day get any worse? 88 00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:21,993 The dog's got the mumps. 89 00:04:22,027 --> 00:04:23,695 Dogs can't get mumps. 90 00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:25,196 Well, then, explain this. 91 00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:27,499 The only thing we know is it'll cost $800. 92 00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:28,533 Ooh! 93 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,568 (Western music playing) 94 00:04:37,993 --> 00:04:39,761 Willie, I love your chaps. 95 00:04:39,795 --> 00:04:42,080 Me pants are ripped out! 96 00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:46,084 I don't care for silent auctions. 97 00:04:46,118 --> 00:04:48,553 It just encourages hovering. 98 00:04:50,556 --> 00:04:51,589 Oh... 99 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,224 Mm-hmm... 100 00:04:56,245 --> 00:04:57,745 Oh! 101 00:05:00,616 --> 00:05:02,717 You know you just pushed it up to list price. 102 00:05:02,751 --> 00:05:04,786 You know that, right? 103 00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:06,521 Edna, I'm not one for costumes, 104 00:05:06,555 --> 00:05:08,323 but I sure do like that feather in your hair. 105 00:05:08,357 --> 00:05:12,093 I like how you make me feel good about the littlest things. 106 00:05:13,963 --> 00:05:15,597 It's just you and me tonight, Buttermilk. 107 00:05:15,631 --> 00:05:17,282 (imitating hoofbeats) 108 00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:18,533 Whoa. 109 00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:21,503 Howdy, pardners, I'm much obliged to y'all 110 00:05:21,537 --> 00:05:23,872 for comin' out to the ol' corral here... 111 00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:24,906 Skinner! 112 00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:27,408 People want to get home! Speak regular. 113 00:05:27,443 --> 00:05:30,378 Fine, we'll start the raffle and skip the things no one wants, 114 00:05:30,412 --> 00:05:32,347 like art projects by your children 115 00:05:32,381 --> 00:05:35,150 or a spaghetti dinner with the Van Houtens. 116 00:05:35,184 --> 00:05:37,585 So let's get right to the item I'm sure you're waiting for: 117 00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:39,721 the latest Mapple myPad! 118 00:05:39,755 --> 00:05:41,422 (all exclaiming) 119 00:05:41,457 --> 00:05:43,791 I could do my cyber-bullying on the bus! 120 00:05:43,826 --> 00:05:46,294 Remember when me gettin' a cell phone was a big deal? 121 00:05:46,328 --> 00:05:48,863 I bought you a ticket for the myPad raffle, Dad. 122 00:05:48,898 --> 00:05:51,966 Aw, that's Tooth Fairy money down the drain, sweetie. 123 00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:53,668 I never win anything. 124 00:05:53,702 --> 00:05:56,571 It's always some stupid jerk you've never heard of. 125 00:05:56,605 --> 00:05:57,939 And the winner is... 126 00:05:57,973 --> 00:05:59,741 Here it comes... 127 00:05:59,775 --> 00:06:00,742 Homer Simpson! 128 00:06:00,776 --> 00:06:01,809 Get him! 129 00:06:01,844 --> 00:06:03,645 I mean, woo-hoo! 130 00:06:03,679 --> 00:06:05,180 (crowd cheering) 131 00:06:05,214 --> 00:06:08,299 I just want to say I was having the worst day of my life. 132 00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:09,901 Three cheers for Homer, 133 00:06:09,935 --> 00:06:11,436 minus the one we gave him already. 134 00:06:11,470 --> 00:06:13,321 (crowd cheers twice) 135 00:06:13,355 --> 00:06:14,722 Okay, what else... 136 00:06:14,757 --> 00:06:16,691 Free Tibet! You heard me! 137 00:06:16,725 --> 00:06:18,660 Free him now! 138 00:06:18,694 --> 00:06:19,961 Thank you. 139 00:06:19,995 --> 00:06:22,363 Oh, my luck has changed! 140 00:06:22,398 --> 00:06:24,148 ANNOUNCER: This is Homer Simpson's 13th raffle 141 00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:25,316 and first win. 142 00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:27,352 Apparently, his luck has changed. 143 00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:33,958 (tinny fanfare plays) 144 00:06:34,993 --> 00:06:37,261 Greetings, I am Steve Mobbs, 145 00:06:37,295 --> 00:06:39,697 welcoming you from beyond the grave. 146 00:06:39,731 --> 00:06:42,750 I left a half-eaten apple outside your store... 147 00:06:42,784 --> 00:06:44,952 the greatest tribute of all. 148 00:06:44,986 --> 00:06:48,589 The product you hold is like a giant expensive smartphone 149 00:06:48,623 --> 00:06:51,592 that can't call anyone-- it's that incredible. 150 00:06:51,626 --> 00:06:53,394 Now press the "submit" icon, 151 00:06:53,428 --> 00:06:56,130 and agree to buy all our future products. 152 00:06:56,181 --> 00:06:59,583 And we're gonna be making a lot of stuff. 153 00:07:00,585 --> 00:07:02,586 Submit. Submit. 154 00:07:02,621 --> 00:07:03,754 I don't know, I... 155 00:07:03,788 --> 00:07:05,756 Submit. I don't want to. 156 00:07:05,774 --> 00:07:09,243 Or you could buy something from Hewlett-Packard. 157 00:07:09,277 --> 00:07:10,611 I submit! I submit! 158 00:07:10,645 --> 00:07:12,613 Yes. 159 00:07:12,647 --> 00:07:14,048 Yes... 160 00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:17,100 (humming happily) 161 00:07:17,118 --> 00:07:19,470 Ooh, that adult Etch-A-Sketch 162 00:07:19,504 --> 00:07:21,288 certainly has brightened your mood. 163 00:07:21,323 --> 00:07:22,840 Oh, yeah! 164 00:07:22,874 --> 00:07:24,391 You can look at it this way... 165 00:07:24,426 --> 00:07:25,626 or this way... 166 00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:26,794 whether you want to or not... 167 00:07:26,828 --> 00:07:30,397 and it's got awesome games like "Tapped Out." 168 00:07:30,432 --> 00:07:31,665 Oh... 169 00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:33,934 "Virtual Stapler!" 170 00:07:33,969 --> 00:07:36,236 Sounds just like a stapler, and it never runs out... 171 00:07:36,271 --> 00:07:37,638 unless you tell it to. 172 00:07:37,672 --> 00:07:40,991 Here's one that gives you a cool '70s moustache. 173 00:07:41,026 --> 00:07:42,393 I'm Sonny Bono. 174 00:07:42,427 --> 00:07:44,028 Watch out for that tree! 175 00:07:44,062 --> 00:07:45,596 (giggles) 176 00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:47,031 So, which do you prefer, m'lady? 177 00:07:47,065 --> 00:07:50,668 Tom Selleck, Rollie Fingers, or Pringles Man? 178 00:07:50,702 --> 00:07:54,905 I always thought the Pringles Man had the kindest eyes. 179 00:07:58,143 --> 00:08:00,844 Are you doing an app behind my back? 180 00:08:00,879 --> 00:08:03,280 Submit... Submit... Sub... 181 00:08:05,717 --> 00:08:07,451 There ya go, Homer. 182 00:08:07,485 --> 00:08:08,986 Boy, you know, when you're just here alone, 183 00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:10,521 I can really smell ya. 184 00:08:10,555 --> 00:08:11,722 But I'm not alone. 185 00:08:11,756 --> 00:08:13,574 I'm doing some FaceTime with Lenny. 186 00:08:13,608 --> 00:08:15,509 It's like I'm skydiving with all my friends! 187 00:08:15,543 --> 00:08:16,694 Let me text Carl. 188 00:08:16,728 --> 00:08:19,046 So, uh, what are you pullin' the ripcord with? 189 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,214 Uh-oh. 190 00:08:20,248 --> 00:08:21,815 Maybe there's a ripcord app I can use. 191 00:08:23,551 --> 00:08:25,552 (Homer hums happily) 192 00:08:26,938 --> 00:08:29,023 MARGE: Homer, pay attention! 193 00:08:29,057 --> 00:08:31,075 Huh? What? 194 00:08:31,643 --> 00:08:32,626 Put that down! 195 00:08:32,661 --> 00:08:34,011 We're being audited. 196 00:08:34,045 --> 00:08:36,530 The old stupid moustache'll win him over. 197 00:08:36,564 --> 00:08:38,332 I'm really stupid. 198 00:08:38,366 --> 00:08:41,018 Is that the myPad you're claiming as a business expense? 199 00:08:41,052 --> 00:08:42,503 I'm standing by that. 200 00:08:42,537 --> 00:08:43,537 (groans) 201 00:08:45,907 --> 00:08:46,957 Simpson! 202 00:08:50,378 --> 00:08:52,613 Unhand your Edison slate 203 00:08:52,647 --> 00:08:55,816 and bring your gold-brickery to a caesura! 204 00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:59,653 Put down your myPad and get back to work. 205 00:08:59,688 --> 00:09:00,921 Sorry, boss. 206 00:09:00,955 --> 00:09:03,257 Your remonstrances are a welcome boon 207 00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:05,392 and surely will redouble my diligence. 208 00:09:05,427 --> 00:09:07,594 Excellent! Awesome! 209 00:09:07,629 --> 00:09:09,096 Woo hoo! Pip-pip! 210 00:09:09,130 --> 00:09:10,197 Hmm... 211 00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:13,517 Hey, Dad! Dad, check this out! 212 00:09:13,551 --> 00:09:16,220 Dad, over here! Dad, a mother giraffe is giving birth! 213 00:09:16,254 --> 00:09:18,372 Dad, look, I'm walking on the wall around the lion pit. 214 00:09:18,406 --> 00:09:20,708 Dad, the baby giraffe is taking its first steps. 215 00:09:20,742 --> 00:09:22,009 Dad, I'm walking on my hands, 216 00:09:22,043 --> 00:09:23,243 and the lions think they're gonna eat me! 217 00:09:23,278 --> 00:09:24,511 Will you kids pipe down? 218 00:09:24,546 --> 00:09:26,380 I'm trying to get "Churro-Chaser" to tell me 219 00:09:26,414 --> 00:09:28,015 where the freshest churros are. 220 00:09:28,049 --> 00:09:29,683 What country is Mexico in? 221 00:09:29,718 --> 00:09:32,853 Dad, pay attention to your children. 222 00:09:32,887 --> 00:09:34,521 Ugh, okay. 223 00:09:35,724 --> 00:09:36,690 Aww. 224 00:09:36,725 --> 00:09:38,192 That'll be my screensaver. 225 00:09:41,696 --> 00:09:43,464 (yells) Just my arm. 226 00:09:43,498 --> 00:09:44,648 (yells) (chuckles) 227 00:09:44,682 --> 00:09:45,649 Gotcha! 228 00:09:45,683 --> 00:09:47,701 Why, you little... (screams) 229 00:09:47,736 --> 00:09:49,887 (screaming) 230 00:09:51,289 --> 00:09:53,290 (Tchaikovsky's Pathétique plays) 231 00:09:56,027 --> 00:09:59,396 Homie, you want to read to Maggie before she goes to sleep? 232 00:10:00,832 --> 00:10:01,799 (scoffs) 233 00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:03,033 A paper-based read-a-majig? 234 00:10:03,068 --> 00:10:04,768 What are we, cavemen? 235 00:10:04,803 --> 00:10:05,886 (imitates caveman grunting) 236 00:10:11,459 --> 00:10:13,977 Sweetie, in the future all you'll need is this. 237 00:10:14,012 --> 00:10:15,512 Homie... it looks like you're putting 238 00:10:15,547 --> 00:10:17,648 all your eggs in one basket. 239 00:10:17,682 --> 00:10:18,882 What would you have me do? 240 00:10:18,917 --> 00:10:20,217 One basket for each egg? 241 00:10:20,251 --> 00:10:21,835 Hmm, I guess you're right. 242 00:10:21,886 --> 00:10:23,771 I guess I'll have to scratch that off 243 00:10:23,805 --> 00:10:25,205 the list of things I say. 244 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,558 Now, Maggie, let's find a good game for us. 245 00:10:27,592 --> 00:10:30,160 Hmm, "Krusty's Kosher Karnival..." 246 00:10:30,195 --> 00:10:31,762 "Words with Enemies..." 247 00:10:31,796 --> 00:10:33,063 "Don't Burn the Toast," 248 00:10:33,098 --> 00:10:34,465 "Lenny Dykstra's Prison Break..." 249 00:10:34,499 --> 00:10:36,133 ooh, "Pizza Clock!" 250 00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:38,669 Dough, sauce, cheese, topping. 251 00:10:38,703 --> 00:10:40,270 Dough, sauce, cheese, topping. 252 00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:41,839 Dough, sauce, cheese, topping. 253 00:10:41,873 --> 00:10:43,373 Having fun, Maggie? 254 00:10:43,408 --> 00:10:45,459 How long have I been playing? 255 00:10:45,493 --> 00:10:47,928 Dough, sauce, cheese, topping. 256 00:10:47,962 --> 00:10:49,797 So that's how you make a pizza? 257 00:10:49,831 --> 00:10:51,832 Ooh, we really have been off-a the mark. 258 00:10:52,851 --> 00:10:54,318 Mmm... 259 00:10:54,352 --> 00:10:57,121 (raspy): Dough, sauce, cheese, topping. 260 00:10:57,155 --> 00:11:00,874 Dough, sauce, cheese, topping. 261 00:11:00,909 --> 00:11:02,442 D'oh! 262 00:11:02,477 --> 00:11:03,994 (thud) Sauce, cheese, topping. 263 00:11:04,028 --> 00:11:05,496 (groans) 264 00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:08,782 Flushy, go get help. 265 00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:14,916 Homer, you're gonna be fine, but there's no hope for the myPad. 266 00:11:14,951 --> 00:11:19,321 (sobbing): It still had 88% of its charge. 267 00:11:19,355 --> 00:11:21,356 This is the part of the job I hate most. 268 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,758 Talking to crazy people. 269 00:11:23,793 --> 00:11:25,260 (laughs) 270 00:11:25,294 --> 00:11:27,262 (groans) 271 00:11:27,296 --> 00:11:29,381 (grunting) 272 00:11:29,415 --> 00:11:30,849 Which of you is the YouTube 273 00:11:30,883 --> 00:11:33,051 of the kid high on dentist's gas? 274 00:11:33,085 --> 00:11:34,486 Is it you? 275 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:37,155 Is it... you? Is it you? 276 00:11:37,189 --> 00:11:40,175 (moaning) 277 00:11:40,209 --> 00:11:43,311 Oh, Lord, when things looked darkest, you gave me light, 278 00:11:43,346 --> 00:11:45,213 then you switched it off, knowing full well 279 00:11:45,248 --> 00:11:47,782 I had declined thy infernal Mapple Care. 280 00:11:47,817 --> 00:11:50,318 Please grant me the wisdom to understand 281 00:11:50,353 --> 00:11:52,537 your capricious nasty mind. 282 00:11:52,555 --> 00:11:56,291 And please, please make the next swing of the yo-yo an up. 283 00:11:56,325 --> 00:11:57,459 Amen. 284 00:11:57,493 --> 00:11:58,994 ALL: Amen. 285 00:12:03,916 --> 00:12:05,817 (sighs) 286 00:12:05,851 --> 00:12:07,218 Everybody hear that? 287 00:12:07,253 --> 00:12:08,720 Homer, Homer, it's a miracle. 288 00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:11,089 Keep your pants on, Flanders. 289 00:12:11,123 --> 00:12:12,407 (laughs): Oh, I will. 290 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,175 Till I go to bed and take them off under the covers. 291 00:12:14,210 --> 00:12:16,077 But come outside and see the miracle. 292 00:12:16,112 --> 00:12:17,679 Has the myPad risen? 293 00:12:17,713 --> 00:12:19,514 No, it's still where you buried it. 294 00:12:19,548 --> 00:12:21,733 (Flanders humming) 295 00:12:21,767 --> 00:12:24,369 Here it is, the Holy Ooze. 296 00:12:24,403 --> 00:12:26,404 This is your miracle-- a tree? 297 00:12:26,439 --> 00:12:30,342 Ooh, look at me, I turn sunlight into complex sugars. 298 00:12:30,376 --> 00:12:31,610 Big whoop. 299 00:12:31,644 --> 00:12:32,844 Look a little closer. 300 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,713 Huh? "Hope." 301 00:12:34,747 --> 00:12:36,548 Is this one of those coincidences 302 00:12:36,582 --> 00:12:37,682 like Jesus on a tortilla, 303 00:12:37,717 --> 00:12:40,101 or George Washington on a dollar bill? 304 00:12:40,136 --> 00:12:43,755 Well, I like that its message is in sap and not in blood. 305 00:12:43,789 --> 00:12:45,590 Like some miracles I could mention. 306 00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:47,025 (clears throat): Passover. 307 00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:50,562 Well, this is how God would send me a message: in my backyard, 308 00:12:50,596 --> 00:12:53,565 hammock-adjacent, one short word in large print. 309 00:12:53,599 --> 00:12:55,934 What do you think he's trying to tell me, Flanders? 310 00:12:55,968 --> 00:12:57,535 Well, sir, if you ask me, 311 00:12:57,570 --> 00:12:58,936 somebody up there is trying to tell you 312 00:12:58,954 --> 00:13:01,623 that whatever flat tires you've got in your life, 313 00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:03,742 God's there with his little spare 314 00:13:03,776 --> 00:13:05,543 and it enables you to drive real slow 315 00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:06,944 till you get to the next station. 316 00:13:06,962 --> 00:13:08,963 Don't eat the miracle. 317 00:13:08,998 --> 00:13:11,516 Fine, I'll just go eat the body of God. 318 00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:13,551 That's not crazy. 319 00:13:16,622 --> 00:13:18,006 Ah, looks like you're really 320 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,442 turning something over in your mind there, Homer. 321 00:13:20,476 --> 00:13:22,844 Moe, I could believe this was a random occurrence 322 00:13:22,878 --> 00:13:25,096 or I could believe some higher power reached down 323 00:13:25,131 --> 00:13:27,699 and squeezed the sap out of that tree. 324 00:13:27,733 --> 00:13:29,434 I'm choosing hope. 325 00:13:29,468 --> 00:13:31,736 Moe, a bottle of your finest beer. 326 00:13:31,771 --> 00:13:32,721 Here you go. 327 00:13:32,755 --> 00:13:33,855 Duff Adequate. 328 00:13:33,889 --> 00:13:35,907 To hope! 329 00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:38,610 Wow, no one's ever been happy in this place before. 330 00:13:38,644 --> 00:13:42,013 And when I started it was Moe's Ice Cream Carnival-- not good. 331 00:13:42,048 --> 00:13:43,748 (organ playing) 332 00:13:43,783 --> 00:13:46,351 Of all the gifts the Lord gives us, 333 00:13:46,385 --> 00:13:49,421 perhaps the greatest is hope. 334 00:13:49,455 --> 00:13:53,058 Uh, excuse me, Reverend, but I'm here to talk 335 00:13:53,092 --> 00:13:56,795 about something a little more important: hope. 336 00:13:56,829 --> 00:13:58,196 But I was just... (sighs) 337 00:13:58,230 --> 00:14:01,266 Oh, fine-- I can get an early start on mountain biking. 338 00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:03,318 Hope is here, people, and it's real. 339 00:14:03,352 --> 00:14:06,104 It's not just inside the house of God, 340 00:14:06,138 --> 00:14:09,607 it's outside the house of me. 341 00:14:09,642 --> 00:14:12,043 So come and see the sticky brown truth. 342 00:14:12,078 --> 00:14:14,612 (all cheering) 343 00:14:14,647 --> 00:14:16,848 ♪ Ooh-ooh, child 344 00:14:16,866 --> 00:14:20,068 ♪ Things are gonna be easier 345 00:14:20,119 --> 00:14:24,622 Hope is all around me! ♪ Ooh, child, things'll be brighter ♪ 346 00:14:24,657 --> 00:14:27,892 (grunting) ♪ Ooh-ooh, child... 347 00:14:27,927 --> 00:14:31,346 Hmm. As promised, the miracle. 348 00:14:35,501 --> 00:14:37,001 Really? "Other"? 349 00:14:37,036 --> 00:14:38,937 Cletus, what does that tree say? 350 00:14:38,971 --> 00:14:40,422 Now, now, let's spell it out 351 00:14:40,456 --> 00:14:43,224 like that social worker taught us to do. 352 00:14:43,259 --> 00:14:46,060 Huckleberry, Overbite, Picklefoot, 353 00:14:46,095 --> 00:14:47,328 Edumacation. 354 00:14:47,363 --> 00:14:49,230 Oh, it says hope! 355 00:14:49,265 --> 00:14:52,901 Just like in Hope Floats, that Sandra Bullock movie I wrote. 356 00:14:56,071 --> 00:14:58,056 This is newsman Kent Brockman, 357 00:14:58,090 --> 00:15:01,059 vowing I will debunk this so-called miracle. 358 00:15:01,093 --> 00:15:03,862 The idiotic things people believe in. 359 00:15:03,896 --> 00:15:05,964 Now, stay tuned for your lucky lotto numbers. 360 00:15:05,998 --> 00:15:08,600 It's your turn for sure. 361 00:15:10,865 --> 00:15:12,866 (crowd clamoring) 362 00:15:14,902 --> 00:15:17,737 A hundred dollar bill for anyone who will give me 363 00:15:17,772 --> 00:15:21,074 the truth behind this so-called miracle tree. 364 00:15:21,108 --> 00:15:24,210 I'll take your money. The tree's a fraud. 365 00:15:24,245 --> 00:15:27,313 I just got a hundred. The tree is real! 366 00:15:27,348 --> 00:15:29,015 What you got against hope anyway? 367 00:15:29,050 --> 00:15:32,452 I bet something disillusioned you as a child. 368 00:15:32,486 --> 00:15:33,820 (gasps) 369 00:15:38,292 --> 00:15:40,860 This is junior reporter Kenny Bockelstein, 370 00:15:40,895 --> 00:15:43,830 investigating the stories that kids want to know. 371 00:15:43,864 --> 00:15:45,231 (locker opens) 372 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,334 Mr. Mouse, how come you haven't been 373 00:15:48,369 --> 00:15:51,371 in any funny cartoons since 1933? 374 00:15:54,842 --> 00:15:56,893 I'm on a break, kid, and when I'm on a break, 375 00:15:56,927 --> 00:15:57,894 the mouse is dead. 376 00:15:59,747 --> 00:16:01,981 The mouse was a man. His teeth were yellow. 377 00:16:02,016 --> 00:16:03,216 His breath was rancid. 378 00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:05,385 My innocence was lost in a plywood castle. 379 00:16:05,419 --> 00:16:07,320 The castle is plywood?! 380 00:16:07,354 --> 00:16:09,556 (groans) 381 00:16:09,590 --> 00:16:10,990 TV ANNOUNCER: Bumblebee Man is moving 382 00:16:11,025 --> 00:16:12,892 to Channel 6. 383 00:16:12,927 --> 00:16:14,060 Adios, ocho. 384 00:16:14,095 --> 00:16:15,662 You no pay. 385 00:16:15,696 --> 00:16:17,597 Uh-oh, he's got his own chimp. 386 00:16:17,631 --> 00:16:18,865 (chimp yelling) 387 00:16:18,899 --> 00:16:20,066 Senor Chango! 388 00:16:20,101 --> 00:16:21,918 Teeny's a girl? 389 00:16:21,936 --> 00:16:24,237 Oh, wait, he's just a bottom. 390 00:16:25,206 --> 00:16:26,706 This is Kent Brockman at the site 391 00:16:26,741 --> 00:16:29,008 of the so-called "Springfield Miracle." 392 00:16:30,111 --> 00:16:31,411 The question is... 393 00:16:31,445 --> 00:16:33,012 Is the hope tree a miracle? 394 00:16:33,047 --> 00:16:34,514 Most decidedly not. 395 00:16:34,548 --> 00:16:36,099 Flying the Channel 6 traffic copter 396 00:16:36,117 --> 00:16:38,267 without official clearance and below legal levels, 397 00:16:38,285 --> 00:16:39,769 we obtained the following footage. 398 00:16:39,787 --> 00:16:42,956 As you can see here, a shadowy figure emerges 399 00:16:42,990 --> 00:16:44,808 from the darkness, walks up to the tree 400 00:16:44,842 --> 00:16:46,342 in the Simpsons' backyard, 401 00:16:46,377 --> 00:16:48,411 and if we freeze and zoom in on the image, 402 00:16:48,445 --> 00:16:51,514 We clearly see the figure holding a syrup bottle 403 00:16:51,549 --> 00:16:53,833 with which he writes the word "hope." 404 00:16:55,636 --> 00:16:57,570 Supermarket maple syrup. 405 00:16:57,605 --> 00:16:59,506 It was no miraculous tree of God 406 00:16:59,557 --> 00:17:02,125 and there is no hope on Evergreen Terrace. 407 00:17:02,159 --> 00:17:05,562 Just a run-of-the-mill, syrup-spraying mystery man. 408 00:17:05,596 --> 00:17:08,298 We can add this to the list of... 409 00:17:08,332 --> 00:17:11,634 Kent's Closed Cases. 410 00:17:11,669 --> 00:17:14,003 Would you please get the segment straight? 411 00:17:14,038 --> 00:17:15,538 Just lose the graphic. 412 00:17:15,573 --> 00:17:16,639 (groans) 413 00:17:16,674 --> 00:17:17,907 (groaning) 414 00:17:17,942 --> 00:17:19,175 It was all a hoax. 415 00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,644 Let's burn our hats! 416 00:17:21,679 --> 00:17:23,947 ALL (chanting): Hope is dead! Burn the lies! 417 00:17:23,981 --> 00:17:25,949 Thank God there's no alcohol in this bar, 418 00:17:25,983 --> 00:17:27,517 or this place would really go up. 419 00:17:27,551 --> 00:17:29,252 (groans) 420 00:17:29,286 --> 00:17:31,121 (groaning) Homie? 421 00:17:31,155 --> 00:17:32,839 Aren't you going to come in? 422 00:17:32,873 --> 00:17:34,707 I don't know what to believe anymore. 423 00:17:34,742 --> 00:17:36,776 Maybe it's time to call Satan. 424 00:17:36,811 --> 00:17:37,944 Is that a 212? 425 00:17:37,978 --> 00:17:39,579 Don't call Satan. 426 00:17:39,613 --> 00:17:42,749 So what if the message wasn't the miracle. 427 00:17:42,783 --> 00:17:47,287 The answer isn't in syrup from God or a computer tablet. 428 00:17:47,321 --> 00:17:51,024 The answer is that you hope you felt was real. 429 00:17:51,058 --> 00:17:52,358 Marge, up till now, 430 00:17:52,393 --> 00:17:54,861 I thought your hair was just blue cotton candy, 431 00:17:54,895 --> 00:17:58,665 but now I know it's a solid loaf of brain. 432 00:17:58,699 --> 00:18:01,601 Homie, you have such a way with foods. 433 00:18:01,635 --> 00:18:03,436 Let's go inside. 434 00:18:03,470 --> 00:18:05,672 Who do you think painted the word on the tree? 435 00:18:05,706 --> 00:18:09,175 No idea-- the important thing is that they did. 436 00:18:09,210 --> 00:18:10,510 Guess it must've been the person 437 00:18:10,544 --> 00:18:12,846 who knew I needed hope most of all. 438 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:16,032 ♪ You're all 439 00:18:16,066 --> 00:18:20,069 ♪ I need to get by (snoring) 440 00:18:25,242 --> 00:18:27,994 You know, we've got a new version of that tablet. 441 00:18:28,028 --> 00:18:30,697 But I just got this three months ago. 442 00:18:30,731 --> 00:18:32,465 Yeah, that's the kind of thing I do, 443 00:18:32,499 --> 00:18:34,400 and yet I still wound up here, 444 00:18:34,435 --> 00:18:35,802 as your boss. 445 00:18:35,836 --> 00:18:37,237 Can I get Christmas off? 446 00:18:37,271 --> 00:18:39,172 It's my kid's birthday. 447 00:18:39,206 --> 00:18:41,140 No. 448 00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:50,884 ♪ When the moon hits your eye 449 00:18:50,918 --> 00:18:53,603 ♪ Like a big pizza pie 450 00:18:53,637 --> 00:18:56,189 ♪ That's amore ♪ 451 00:18:56,223 --> 00:18:57,724 (tires screech) 452 00:18:57,758 --> 00:19:00,577 ♪ When the world seems to shine like ♪ 453 00:19:00,611 --> 00:19:01,911 ♪ You've had too much wine 454 00:19:01,946 --> 00:19:05,982 ♪ That's amore 455 00:19:06,016 --> 00:19:09,586 ♪ Bells'll ring, ting-a-ling-a ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling ♪ 456 00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:14,824 ♪ And you'll sing "Vita Bella" ♪ 457 00:19:14,858 --> 00:19:19,095 ♪ Heart's play tippi-tippi-tay, tippi-tippi-tay like a gay ♪ 458 00:19:19,129 --> 00:19:21,698 ♪ Tarantella 459 00:19:21,732 --> 00:19:24,584 ♪ When the stars make you drool ♪ 460 00:19:24,618 --> 00:19:30,440 ♪ Just-a like a pasta fagiole, that's amore ♪ 461 00:19:30,474 --> 00:19:35,128 ♪ When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet ♪ 462 00:19:35,162 --> 00:19:36,863 ♪ You're in love 463 00:19:36,897 --> 00:19:41,034 ♪ When you walk in a dream 464 00:19:41,068 --> 00:19:46,205 ♪ But you know you're not dreaming, signore ♪ 465 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:47,874 (screams) 466 00:19:47,908 --> 00:19:51,544 ♪ 'Scusa me, but you see back in old Napoli ♪ 467 00:19:51,578 --> 00:19:56,699 ♪ That's amore ♪ 468 00:19:56,734 --> 00:19:57,734 ♪ When... ♪ 469 00:19:57,768 --> 00:20:00,353 ♪ The moon hits your eye ♪ 470 00:20:00,387 --> 00:20:02,522 ♪ Like a big pizza pie ♪ 471 00:20:02,556 --> 00:20:06,960 ♪ That's amore ♪ ♪ That's amore ♪ 472 00:20:06,994 --> 00:20:10,847 ♪ When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine ♪ 473 00:20:10,881 --> 00:20:14,968 ♪ That's amore ♪ ♪ That's amore ♪ 474 00:20:15,002 --> 00:20:17,186 ♪ Bells will ring ♪ ♪ Ting-a ling-a ling ♪ 475 00:20:17,221 --> 00:20:19,806 ♪ Ting-a ling-a ling ♪ ♪ And you'll sing "Vita Bella" ♪ 476 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,810 ♪ "Vita Bella," "Vita Bella" Hearts will play ♪ 477 00:20:23,844 --> 00:20:25,712 ♪ Tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay ♪ 478 00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:28,414 ♪ Like a gay tarantella ♪ 479 00:20:28,449 --> 00:20:33,636 ♪ Lucky fella, scusa me, but you'll see... ♪ 480 00:20:33,670 --> 00:20:38,670 == sync, corrected by elderman == 481 00:20:38,692 --> 00:20:43,463 ♪ That's amore. ♪ 482 00:21:24,997 --> 00:21:26,505 Shh!