1 00:00:26,391 --> 00:00:28,225 (exclaiming) 2 00:00:32,879 --> 00:00:34,846 (school bell ringing) 3 00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:38,331 (Barney belches) 4 00:00:39,221 --> 00:00:40,309 (whistle blows) 5 00:00:40,327 --> 00:00:42,328 (yells) 6 00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:47,813 (beeping) 7 00:00:52,744 --> 00:00:54,829 (playing the blues) 8 00:00:56,402 --> 00:01:00,105 (playing the blues) 9 00:01:02,736 --> 00:01:03,903 D'oh! 10 00:01:04,099 --> 00:01:05,066 (tires screeching) 11 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:07,047 (grunts) 12 00:01:08,030 --> 00:01:09,598 (yelling) 13 00:01:09,623 --> 00:01:13,623 ♪ The Simpsons 24x06 ♪ A Tree Grows in Springfield Original Air Date on November 25, 2012 14 00:01:13,648 --> 00:01:17,648 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 15 00:01:19,553 --> 00:01:21,554 (snoring) 16 00:01:24,012 --> 00:01:25,771 BASEBALL ANNOUNCER: It's the World Series, two outs, 17 00:01:25,797 --> 00:01:26,723 bottom of the ninth. 18 00:01:26,742 --> 00:01:30,498 Yes, we're at the point where baseball becomes mildly interesting. 19 00:01:30,778 --> 00:01:33,450 Can Homer Simpson, fresh off an anxiety dream 20 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,939 about not studying for a high school test, 21 00:01:35,974 --> 00:01:38,980 come into this dream and knock one out of the park? 22 00:01:39,042 --> 00:01:40,530 And who'da thunk it? 23 00:01:40,566 --> 00:01:41,966 We're food too! 24 00:01:42,263 --> 00:01:44,953 And apparently I'm married to a pork chop 25 00:01:45,015 --> 00:01:46,867 and have drumstick children. 26 00:01:46,948 --> 00:01:48,742 How did that happen? 27 00:01:48,812 --> 00:01:51,244 (snoring) 28 00:01:51,703 --> 00:01:53,526 BASEBALL ANNOUNCER: We're back... (belches) 29 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,467 The pitcher, Steroid Santa Claus, 30 00:01:55,485 --> 00:01:56,698 kicks and deals. 31 00:01:56,722 --> 00:01:59,974 It's a long fly ball, going back! Back! 32 00:02:00,334 --> 00:02:02,879 And the ball shatters the sky, 33 00:02:02,929 --> 00:02:06,084 bringing the ocean itself down into the stadium! 34 00:02:06,105 --> 00:02:09,824 Whoa, Simpson just broke this dream's reality wide open! 35 00:02:09,865 --> 00:02:12,146 The groundskeepers are trying to put on the tarp, 36 00:02:12,158 --> 00:02:15,727 but it turned into a manta ray and stung them all. 37 00:02:15,848 --> 00:02:18,500 Now, we'll be right back after this word from oxygen, 38 00:02:18,534 --> 00:02:21,136 which Homer desperately needs to live. 39 00:02:21,170 --> 00:02:22,671 (gurgling) 40 00:02:22,705 --> 00:02:24,706 (coughing, spitting) 41 00:02:26,736 --> 00:02:28,621 MARGE: Homer! The roof is leaking! 42 00:02:28,705 --> 00:02:30,389 Water's coming in the house, 43 00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:32,217 and we've got carpet mushrooms. 44 00:02:35,195 --> 00:02:37,463 Dad, all the jury summons you buried in the back yard 45 00:02:37,509 --> 00:02:38,957 are coming back up. 46 00:02:41,585 --> 00:02:43,569 (humming) 47 00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,177 While you were out there daydreaming, 48 00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:49,962 this rain has ruined the house. 49 00:02:50,015 --> 00:02:51,195 (sighs deeply) 50 00:02:51,256 --> 00:02:53,236 Marge, in a crisis like this, 51 00:02:53,254 --> 00:02:56,127 I need time for quiet contemplation. 52 00:03:01,454 --> 00:03:02,568 What's wrong, Homer? 53 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,066 You got an expression on your face I ain't never seen before. 54 00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:07,543 Like one of them Charlie Brown wiggle-frowns. 55 00:03:08,727 --> 00:03:11,290 I'm in an abusive relationship with life. 56 00:03:11,347 --> 00:03:13,070 It keeps beating the hell out of me, 57 00:03:13,089 --> 00:03:14,920 and I'm too cowardly to leave it. 58 00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:15,820 (sighs) 59 00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:17,953 Maybe I could drink myself to death. 60 00:03:18,139 --> 00:03:19,274 Eh, well, you can't. 61 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:20,896 Your tolerance is too high. 62 00:03:22,188 --> 00:03:27,059 Man, I've never seen Homer looking this bad. 63 00:03:28,212 --> 00:03:29,087 You're right. 64 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,105 He needs some professional help. 65 00:03:32,207 --> 00:03:34,357 ♪ Oh yeah... 66 00:03:36,022 --> 00:03:39,191 Ooh, someone is down in the Duff! 67 00:03:39,689 --> 00:03:41,575 Life is too fragile. 68 00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:44,555 One minute you're lying in your hammock drinking beer, 69 00:03:44,574 --> 00:03:48,352 the next thing you know you're sittin' here drinkin' beer. 70 00:03:48,417 --> 00:03:52,787 Homer, your bleak outlook has sent a smooth, icy chill down... 71 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,950 Ah, screw it. I quit. 72 00:03:55,041 --> 00:03:57,276 Janette, Cheryl, get your own ride home. 73 00:04:01,147 --> 00:04:04,166 Aw, come on, Chief. I've had a rotten day. 74 00:04:04,184 --> 00:04:05,284 Can't you help me out? 75 00:04:05,316 --> 00:04:07,304 Sorry, I'm afraid the most I can do 76 00:04:07,335 --> 00:04:08,735 is pretend to drive you home. 77 00:04:08,768 --> 00:04:11,554 Okay, now hop on my imaginary motorcycle... 78 00:04:11,576 --> 00:04:13,160 arms around my belly... 79 00:04:13,226 --> 00:04:16,211 (imitates motorcycle revving) 80 00:04:16,246 --> 00:04:18,884 Um, I'm gonna need you to chip in for gas. 81 00:04:18,973 --> 00:04:20,340 Argh. 82 00:04:20,419 --> 00:04:23,087 This is where the pretending ends. 83 00:04:30,555 --> 00:04:31,368 Oh... 84 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:32,572 Now what? 85 00:04:32,661 --> 00:04:34,896 You're coming with us to the school fundraiser. 86 00:04:34,993 --> 00:04:36,861 Can this day get any worse? 87 00:04:36,983 --> 00:04:38,517 The dog's got the mumps. 88 00:04:38,719 --> 00:04:40,092 Dogs can't get mumps. 89 00:04:40,128 --> 00:04:41,354 Well, then, explain this. 90 00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:44,068 The only thing we know is it'll cost $800. 91 00:04:44,132 --> 00:04:45,132 Ooh! 92 00:04:45,172 --> 00:04:47,173 (Western music playing) 93 00:04:54,329 --> 00:04:56,097 Willie, I love your chaps. 94 00:04:56,319 --> 00:04:58,604 Me pants are ripped out! 95 00:05:00,365 --> 00:05:02,414 I don't care for silent auctions. 96 00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:05,234 It just encourages hovering. 97 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,113 Oh... 98 00:05:08,292 --> 00:05:09,892 Mm-hmm... 99 00:05:13,050 --> 00:05:14,550 Oh! 100 00:05:17,252 --> 00:05:19,353 You know you just pushed it up to list price. 101 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,096 You know that, right? 102 00:05:21,344 --> 00:05:22,937 Edna, I'm not one for costumes, 103 00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:24,810 but I sure do like that feather in your hair. 104 00:05:24,843 --> 00:05:28,579 I like how you make me feel good about the littlest things. 105 00:05:30,487 --> 00:05:32,121 It's just you and me tonight, Buttermilk. 106 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:33,454 (imitating hoofbeats) 107 00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:34,996 Whoa. 108 00:05:35,028 --> 00:05:37,964 Howdy, pardners, I'm much obliged to y'all 109 00:05:37,973 --> 00:05:40,308 for comin' out to the ol' corral here... 110 00:05:40,355 --> 00:05:41,280 Skinner! 111 00:05:41,301 --> 00:05:43,903 People want to get home! Speak regular. 112 00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:46,902 Fine, we'll start the raffle and skip the things no one wants, 113 00:05:46,936 --> 00:05:48,871 like art projects by your children 114 00:05:48,905 --> 00:05:51,674 or a spaghetti dinner with the Van Houtens. 115 00:05:51,708 --> 00:05:53,990 So let's get right to the item I'm sure you're waiting for: 116 00:05:54,008 --> 00:05:56,201 The latest Mapple myPad! 117 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:57,745 (all exclaiming) 118 00:05:57,818 --> 00:06:00,152 I could do my cyber-bullying on the bus! 119 00:06:00,181 --> 00:06:02,732 Remember when me gettin' a cell phone was a big deal? 120 00:06:02,789 --> 00:06:05,324 I bought you a ticket for the myPad raffle, Dad. 121 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,643 Aw, that's Tooth Fairy money down the drain, sweetie. 122 00:06:08,718 --> 00:06:10,168 I never win anything. 123 00:06:10,226 --> 00:06:13,095 It's always some stupid jerk you've never heard of. 124 00:06:13,129 --> 00:06:14,463 And the winner is... 125 00:06:14,503 --> 00:06:16,072 Here it comes... 126 00:06:16,180 --> 00:06:17,147 Homer Simpson! 127 00:06:17,187 --> 00:06:18,220 Get him! 128 00:06:18,368 --> 00:06:19,737 I mean, woo-hoo! 129 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,297 (crowd cheering) 130 00:06:21,556 --> 00:06:24,784 I just want to say I was having the worst day of my life. 131 00:06:24,820 --> 00:06:26,188 Three cheers for Homer, 132 00:06:26,228 --> 00:06:27,881 minus the one we gave him already. 133 00:06:27,994 --> 00:06:29,845 (crowd cheers twice) 134 00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:31,100 Okay, what else... 135 00:06:31,137 --> 00:06:33,299 Free Tibet! You heard me! 136 00:06:33,374 --> 00:06:35,099 Free him now! 137 00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,283 Thank you. 138 00:06:36,326 --> 00:06:38,694 Oh, my luck has changed! 139 00:06:38,764 --> 00:06:40,688 ANNOUNCER: This is Homer Simpson's 13th raffle 140 00:06:40,712 --> 00:06:42,086 and first win. 141 00:06:42,199 --> 00:06:44,200 Apparently, his luck has changed. 142 00:06:50,583 --> 00:06:52,251 (tinny fanfare plays) 143 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:55,972 Greetings, I am Steve Mobbs, 144 00:06:56,025 --> 00:06:58,300 welcoming you from beyond the grave. 145 00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:01,386 I left a half-eaten apple outside your store... 146 00:07:01,637 --> 00:07:03,805 the greatest tribute of all. 147 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:07,442 The product you hold is like a giant expensive smartphone 148 00:07:07,476 --> 00:07:10,295 that can't call anyone-- it's that incredible. 149 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,128 Now press the "submit" icon, 150 00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:14,705 and agree to buy all our future products. 151 00:07:14,772 --> 00:07:18,299 And we're gonna be making a lot of stuff. 152 00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:21,189 Submit. Submit. 153 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,507 I don't know, I... 154 00:07:22,565 --> 00:07:24,533 Submit. I don't want to. 155 00:07:24,571 --> 00:07:27,861 Or you could buy something from Hewlett-Packard. 156 00:07:27,892 --> 00:07:29,367 I submit! I submit! 157 00:07:29,498 --> 00:07:31,089 Yes. 158 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:32,819 Yes... 159 00:07:33,631 --> 00:07:35,657 (humming happily) 160 00:07:36,282 --> 00:07:38,070 Ooh, that adult Etch-A-Sketch 161 00:07:38,101 --> 00:07:40,045 certainly has brightened your mood. 162 00:07:40,095 --> 00:07:41,268 Oh, yeah! 163 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,978 You can look at it this way... 164 00:07:43,022 --> 00:07:44,222 or this way... 165 00:07:44,262 --> 00:07:45,655 whether you want to or not... 166 00:07:45,681 --> 00:07:49,091 and it's got awesome games like "Tapped Out." 167 00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,411 Oh... 168 00:07:50,491 --> 00:07:52,515 "Virtual Stapler!" 169 00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:55,069 Sounds just like a stapler, and it never runs out... 170 00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:56,491 unless you tell it to. 171 00:07:56,524 --> 00:07:59,353 Here's one that gives you a cool '70s moustache. 172 00:07:59,447 --> 00:08:00,994 I'm Sonny Bono. 173 00:08:01,056 --> 00:08:02,657 Watch out for that tree! 174 00:08:02,727 --> 00:08:03,992 (giggles) 175 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,843 So, which do you prefer, m'lady? 176 00:08:05,867 --> 00:08:09,470 Tom Selleck, Rollie Fingers, or Pringles Man? 177 00:08:09,524 --> 00:08:13,727 I always thought the Pringles Man had the kindest eyes. 178 00:08:16,577 --> 00:08:19,278 Are you doing an app behind my back? 179 00:08:19,356 --> 00:08:22,327 Submit... Submit... Sub... 180 00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:25,839 There ya go, Homer. 181 00:08:25,894 --> 00:08:27,572 Boy, you know, when you're just here alone, 182 00:08:27,603 --> 00:08:29,104 I can really smell ya. 183 00:08:29,289 --> 00:08:30,340 But I'm not alone. 184 00:08:30,371 --> 00:08:32,189 I'm doing some FaceTime with Lenny. 185 00:08:32,242 --> 00:08:34,268 It's like I'm skydiving with all my friends! 186 00:08:34,396 --> 00:08:35,547 Let me text Carl. 187 00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:38,031 So, uh, what are you pullin' the ripcord with? 188 00:08:38,083 --> 00:08:38,871 Uh-oh. 189 00:08:38,913 --> 00:08:40,943 Maybe there's a ripcord app I can use. 190 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,398 (Homer hums happily) 191 00:08:45,647 --> 00:08:47,441 MARGE: Homer, pay attention! 192 00:08:47,466 --> 00:08:49,484 Huh? What? 193 00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:51,277 Put that down! 194 00:08:51,308 --> 00:08:52,658 We're being audited. 195 00:08:52,829 --> 00:08:55,163 The old stupid moustache'll win him over. 196 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,003 I'm really stupid. 197 00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:59,738 Is that the myPad you're claiming as a business expense? 198 00:08:59,767 --> 00:09:01,459 I'm standing by that. 199 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:02,520 (groans) 200 00:09:04,579 --> 00:09:05,629 Simpson! 201 00:09:09,462 --> 00:09:11,391 Unhand your Edison slate 202 00:09:11,444 --> 00:09:14,613 and bring your gold-brickery to a caesura! 203 00:09:15,252 --> 00:09:18,372 Put down your myPad and get back to work. 204 00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:19,646 Sorry, boss. 205 00:09:19,695 --> 00:09:21,898 Your remonstrances are a welcome boon 206 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,030 and surely will redouble my diligence. 207 00:09:24,242 --> 00:09:26,117 - Excellent! - Awesome! 208 00:09:26,151 --> 00:09:27,772 Woo hoo! Pip-pip! 209 00:09:28,064 --> 00:09:29,131 Hmm... 210 00:09:31,017 --> 00:09:32,349 Hey, Dad! Dad, check this out! 211 00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:34,769 Dad, over here! Dad, a mother giraffe is giving birth! 212 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,153 Dad, look, I'm walking on the wall around the lion pit. 213 00:09:37,184 --> 00:09:39,452 Dad, the baby giraffe is taking its first steps. 214 00:09:39,471 --> 00:09:40,562 Dad, I'm walking on my hands, 215 00:09:40,593 --> 00:09:42,000 and the lions think they're gonna eat me! 216 00:09:42,030 --> 00:09:43,357 Will you kids pipe down? 217 00:09:43,399 --> 00:09:45,043 I'm trying to get "Churro-Chaser" to tell me 218 00:09:45,068 --> 00:09:46,799 where the freshest churros are. 219 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,393 What country is Mexico in? 220 00:09:48,446 --> 00:09:51,581 Dad, pay attention to your children. 221 00:09:51,665 --> 00:09:53,299 Ugh, okay. 222 00:09:54,483 --> 00:09:55,308 Aww. 223 00:09:55,353 --> 00:09:57,247 That'll be my screensaver. 224 00:10:00,549 --> 00:10:02,193 (yells) Just my arm. 225 00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:03,508 (yells) (chuckles) 226 00:10:03,535 --> 00:10:04,310 Gotcha! 227 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,594 Why, you little... (screams) 228 00:10:07,013 --> 00:10:09,164 (screaming) 229 00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:12,143 (Tchaikovsky's Pathétique plays) 230 00:10:14,493 --> 00:10:18,207 Homie, you want to read to Maggie before she goes to sleep? 231 00:10:19,272 --> 00:10:19,966 (scoffs) 232 00:10:19,979 --> 00:10:21,558 A paper-based read-a-majig? 233 00:10:21,576 --> 00:10:23,276 What are we, cavemen? 234 00:10:23,686 --> 00:10:24,769 (imitates caveman grunting) 235 00:10:30,312 --> 00:10:32,687 Sweetie, in the future all you'll need is this. 236 00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:34,161 Homie... it looks like you're putting 237 00:10:34,192 --> 00:10:36,293 all your eggs in one basket. 238 00:10:36,397 --> 00:10:37,483 What would you have me do? 239 00:10:37,514 --> 00:10:38,952 One basket for each egg? 240 00:10:39,004 --> 00:10:40,588 Hmm, I guess you're right. 241 00:10:40,651 --> 00:10:42,113 I guess I'll have to scratch that off 242 00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:43,794 the list of things I say. 243 00:10:43,948 --> 00:10:46,266 Now, Maggie, let's find a good game for us. 244 00:10:46,295 --> 00:10:48,863 Hmm, "Krusty's Kosher Karnival..." 245 00:10:48,885 --> 00:10:50,452 "Words with Enemies..." 246 00:10:50,486 --> 00:10:51,640 "Don't Burn the Toast," 247 00:10:51,663 --> 00:10:53,292 "Lenny Dykstra's Prison Break..." 248 00:10:53,339 --> 00:10:54,973 ooh, "Pizza Clock!" 249 00:10:55,007 --> 00:10:56,919 Dough, sauce, cheese, topping. 250 00:10:57,212 --> 00:10:59,024 Dough, sauce, cheese, topping. 251 00:10:59,063 --> 00:11:00,597 Dough, sauce, cheese, topping. 252 00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:02,150 Having fun, Maggie? 253 00:11:02,622 --> 00:11:04,187 How long have I been playing? 254 00:11:04,252 --> 00:11:06,687 Dough, sauce, cheese, topping. 255 00:11:06,758 --> 00:11:08,593 So that's how you make a pizza? 256 00:11:08,684 --> 00:11:11,253 Ooh, we really have been off-a the mark. 257 00:11:11,910 --> 00:11:13,074 Mmm... 258 00:11:13,111 --> 00:11:15,880 (raspy): Dough, sauce, cheese, topping. 259 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:19,360 Dough, sauce, cheese, topping. 260 00:11:19,505 --> 00:11:21,038 D'oh! 261 00:11:21,136 --> 00:11:22,771 (thud) Sauce, cheese, topping. 262 00:11:22,881 --> 00:11:24,349 (groans) 263 00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:28,078 Flushy, go get help. 264 00:11:32,503 --> 00:11:36,378 Homer, you're gonna be fine, but there's no hope for the myPad. 265 00:11:36,427 --> 00:11:40,797 (sobbing): It still had 88% of its charge. 266 00:11:40,994 --> 00:11:42,995 This is the part of the job I hate most. 267 00:11:43,322 --> 00:11:45,128 Talking to crazy people. 268 00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:46,737 (laughs) 269 00:11:47,308 --> 00:11:48,271 (groans) 270 00:11:48,304 --> 00:11:50,389 (grunting) 271 00:11:50,898 --> 00:11:52,488 Which of you is the YouTube 272 00:11:52,506 --> 00:11:54,674 of the kid high on dentist's gas? 273 00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:55,993 Is it you? 274 00:11:56,034 --> 00:11:58,882 Is it... you? Is it you? 275 00:11:58,934 --> 00:12:01,605 (moaning) 276 00:12:01,816 --> 00:12:04,758 Oh, Lord, when things looked darkest, you gave me light, 277 00:12:04,823 --> 00:12:06,813 then you switched it off, knowing full well 278 00:12:06,832 --> 00:12:09,461 I had declined thy infernal Mapple Care. 279 00:12:09,712 --> 00:12:11,808 Please grant me the wisdom to understand 280 00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:14,014 your capricious nasty mind. 281 00:12:14,294 --> 00:12:18,138 And please, please make the next swing of the yo-yo an up. 282 00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,021 Amen. 283 00:12:19,045 --> 00:12:20,559 ALL: Amen. 284 00:12:26,117 --> 00:12:27,478 (sighs) 285 00:12:27,508 --> 00:12:28,671 Everybody hear that? 286 00:12:28,730 --> 00:12:30,725 Homer, Homer, it's a miracle. 287 00:12:30,755 --> 00:12:32,553 Keep your pants on, Flanders. 288 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:33,884 (laughs): Oh, I will. 289 00:12:33,918 --> 00:12:35,870 Till I go to bed and take them off under the covers. 290 00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:37,718 But come outside and see the miracle. 291 00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,261 Has the myPad risen? 292 00:12:39,308 --> 00:12:41,109 No, it's still where you buried it. 293 00:12:41,236 --> 00:12:43,181 (Flanders humming) 294 00:12:43,475 --> 00:12:45,814 Here it is, the Holy Ooze. 295 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,100 This is your miracle-- a tree? 296 00:12:48,197 --> 00:12:52,100 Ooh, look at me, I turn sunlight into complex sugars. 297 00:12:52,209 --> 00:12:53,247 Big whoop. 298 00:12:53,283 --> 00:12:54,483 Look a little closer. 299 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:56,186 Huh? "Hope." 300 00:12:56,224 --> 00:12:58,152 Is this one of those coincidences 301 00:12:58,176 --> 00:12:59,521 like Jesus on a tortilla, 302 00:12:59,532 --> 00:13:01,679 or George Washington on a dollar bill? 303 00:13:01,725 --> 00:13:05,216 Well, I like that its message is in sap and not in blood. 304 00:13:05,266 --> 00:13:07,329 Like some miracles I could mention. 305 00:13:07,389 --> 00:13:08,689 (clears throat): Passover. 306 00:13:08,710 --> 00:13:12,130 Well, this is how God would send me a message: in my backyard, 307 00:13:12,161 --> 00:13:15,130 hammock-adjacent, one short word in large print. 308 00:13:15,213 --> 00:13:17,548 What do you think he's trying to tell me, Flanders? 309 00:13:17,632 --> 00:13:19,049 Well, sir, if you ask me, 310 00:13:19,071 --> 00:13:20,630 somebody up there is trying to tell you 311 00:13:20,653 --> 00:13:23,191 that whatever flat tires you've got in your life, 312 00:13:23,221 --> 00:13:25,189 God's there with his little spare 313 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,007 and it enables you to drive real slow 314 00:13:27,055 --> 00:13:28,421 till you get to the next station. 315 00:13:29,239 --> 00:13:30,697 Don't eat the miracle. 316 00:13:30,780 --> 00:13:33,298 Fine, I'll just go eat the body of God. 317 00:13:33,340 --> 00:13:35,384 That's not crazy. 318 00:13:38,099 --> 00:13:39,483 Ah, looks like you're really 319 00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:42,027 turning something over in your mind there, Homer. 320 00:13:42,101 --> 00:13:44,290 Moe, I could believe this was a random occurrence 321 00:13:44,355 --> 00:13:46,803 or I could believe some higher power reached down 322 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:49,178 and squeezed the sap out of that tree. 323 00:13:49,210 --> 00:13:50,911 I'm choosing hope. 324 00:13:50,976 --> 00:13:53,353 Moe, a bottle of your finest beer. 325 00:13:53,403 --> 00:13:54,353 Here you go. 326 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,379 Duff Adequate. 327 00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:57,081 To hope! 328 00:13:57,418 --> 00:14:00,265 Wow, no one's ever been happy in this place before. 329 00:14:00,321 --> 00:14:03,690 And when I started it was Moe's Ice Cream Carnival-- not good. 330 00:14:03,725 --> 00:14:05,176 (organ playing) 331 00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:08,108 Of all the gifts the Lord gives us, 332 00:14:08,156 --> 00:14:11,029 perhaps the greatest is hope. 333 00:14:11,094 --> 00:14:14,697 Uh, excuse me, Reverend, but I'm here to talk 334 00:14:14,725 --> 00:14:18,274 about something a little more important: hope. 335 00:14:18,306 --> 00:14:19,673 But I was just... (sighs) 336 00:14:19,707 --> 00:14:22,743 Oh, fine-- I can get an early start on mountain biking. 337 00:14:22,908 --> 00:14:25,002 Hope is here, people, and it's real. 338 00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:27,944 It's not just inside the house of God, 339 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:31,201 it's outside the house of me. 340 00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:33,849 So come and see the sticky brown truth. 341 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,036 (all cheering) 342 00:14:36,785 --> 00:14:38,986 ♪ Ooh-ooh, child 343 00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:41,568 ♪ Things are gonna be easier 344 00:14:41,671 --> 00:14:46,174 Hope is all around me! ♪ Ooh, child, things'll be brighter ♪ 345 00:14:46,209 --> 00:14:49,444 (grunting) ♪ Ooh-ooh, child... 346 00:14:49,684 --> 00:14:53,471 Hmm. As promised, the miracle. 347 00:14:57,303 --> 00:14:58,622 Really? "Other"? 348 00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:00,382 Cletus, what does that tree say? 349 00:15:00,448 --> 00:15:02,128 Now, now, let's spell it out 350 00:15:02,153 --> 00:15:04,921 like that social worker taught us to do. 351 00:15:05,098 --> 00:15:07,662 Huckleberry, Overbite, Picklefoot, 352 00:15:07,696 --> 00:15:08,929 Edumacation. 353 00:15:08,983 --> 00:15:10,850 Oh, it says hope! 354 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:14,795 Just like in Hope Floats, that Sandra Bullock movie I wrote. 355 00:15:17,548 --> 00:15:19,533 This is newsman Kent Brockman, 356 00:15:19,567 --> 00:15:22,536 vowing I will debunk this so-called miracle. 357 00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:25,318 The idiotic things people believe in. 358 00:15:25,373 --> 00:15:27,441 Now, stay tuned for your lucky lotto numbers. 359 00:15:27,475 --> 00:15:30,077 It's your turn for sure. 360 00:15:36,684 --> 00:15:38,685 (crowd clamoring) 361 00:15:38,965 --> 00:15:41,800 A hundred dollar bill for anyone who will give me 362 00:15:41,835 --> 00:15:45,312 the truth behind this so-called miracle tree. 363 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:48,297 I'll take your money. The tree's a fraud. 364 00:15:48,777 --> 00:15:51,625 I just got a hundred. The tree is real! 365 00:15:51,729 --> 00:15:53,073 What you got against hope anyway? 366 00:15:53,113 --> 00:15:56,648 I bet something disillusioned you as a child. 367 00:15:56,742 --> 00:15:58,076 (gasps) 368 00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:05,133 This is junior reporter Kenny Bockelstein, 369 00:16:05,169 --> 00:16:07,895 investigating the stories that kids want to know. 370 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,293 (locker opens) 371 00:16:10,663 --> 00:16:12,558 Mr. Mouse, how come you haven't been 372 00:16:12,589 --> 00:16:15,591 in any funny cartoons since 1933? 373 00:16:18,905 --> 00:16:20,956 I'm on a break, kid, and when I'm on a break, 374 00:16:21,027 --> 00:16:22,169 the mouse is dead. 375 00:16:24,309 --> 00:16:26,340 The mouse was a man. His teeth were yellow. 376 00:16:26,384 --> 00:16:27,408 His breath was rancid. 377 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,555 My innocence was lost in a plywood castle. 378 00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:31,489 The castle is plywood?! 379 00:16:31,510 --> 00:16:33,180 (groans) 380 00:16:33,839 --> 00:16:35,495 TV ANNOUNCER: Bumblebee Man is moving 381 00:16:35,513 --> 00:16:36,889 to Channel 6. 382 00:16:36,990 --> 00:16:38,123 Adios, ocho. 383 00:16:38,158 --> 00:16:39,725 You no pay. 384 00:16:39,759 --> 00:16:41,660 Uh-oh, he's got his own chimp. 385 00:16:41,694 --> 00:16:42,928 (chimp yelling) 386 00:16:42,962 --> 00:16:44,521 Senor Change! 387 00:16:44,551 --> 00:16:45,956 Teeny's a girl? 388 00:16:46,343 --> 00:16:48,644 Oh, wait, he's just a bottom. 389 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,780 This is Kent Brockman at the site 390 00:16:50,804 --> 00:16:53,547 of the so-called "Springfield Miracle." 391 00:16:54,517 --> 00:16:55,493 The question is... 392 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,087 Is the hope tree a miracle? 393 00:16:57,110 --> 00:16:58,577 Most decidedly not. 394 00:16:58,611 --> 00:17:00,162 Flying the Channel 6 traffic copter 395 00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:02,498 without official clearance and below legal levels, 396 00:17:02,529 --> 00:17:04,300 we obtained the following footage. 397 00:17:04,373 --> 00:17:07,178 As you can see here, a shadowy figure emerges 398 00:17:07,197 --> 00:17:09,209 from the darkness, walks up to the tree 399 00:17:09,234 --> 00:17:10,497 in the Simpsons' backyard, 400 00:17:10,527 --> 00:17:12,561 and if we freeze and zoom in on the image, 401 00:17:12,777 --> 00:17:15,873 We clearly see the figure holding a syrup bottle 402 00:17:15,899 --> 00:17:18,438 with which he writes the word "hope." 403 00:17:19,699 --> 00:17:21,633 Supermarket maple syrup. 404 00:17:21,855 --> 00:17:23,756 It was no miraculous tree of God 405 00:17:23,782 --> 00:17:26,350 and there is no hope on Evergreen Terrace. 406 00:17:26,396 --> 00:17:29,799 Just a run-of-the-mill, syrup-spraying mystery man. 407 00:17:29,896 --> 00:17:32,402 We can add this to the list of... 408 00:17:32,488 --> 00:17:35,790 Kent's Closed Cases. 409 00:17:35,917 --> 00:17:38,251 Would you please get the segment straight? 410 00:17:38,282 --> 00:17:39,782 Just lose the graphic. 411 00:17:39,836 --> 00:17:40,902 (groans) 412 00:17:41,030 --> 00:17:41,950 (groaning) 413 00:17:42,005 --> 00:17:43,465 It was all a hoax. 414 00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:45,392 Let's burn our hats! 415 00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:47,966 ALL (chanting): Hope is dead! Burn the lies! 416 00:17:48,044 --> 00:17:50,165 Thank God there's no alcohol in this bar, 417 00:17:50,196 --> 00:17:51,730 or this place would really go up. 418 00:17:51,776 --> 00:17:53,163 (groans) 419 00:17:53,236 --> 00:17:55,221 (groaning) Homie? 420 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,933 Aren't you going to come in? 421 00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:58,868 I don't know what to believe anymore. 422 00:17:58,917 --> 00:18:00,836 Maybe it's time to call Satan. 423 00:18:00,860 --> 00:18:02,098 Is that a 212? 424 00:18:02,128 --> 00:18:03,729 Don't call Satan. 425 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:06,787 So what if the message wasn't the miracle. 426 00:18:06,846 --> 00:18:11,350 The answer isn't in syrup from God or a computer tablet. 427 00:18:11,384 --> 00:18:15,087 The answer is that you hope you felt was real. 428 00:18:15,121 --> 00:18:16,143 Marge, up till now, 429 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:19,191 I thought your hair was just blue cotton candy, 430 00:18:19,289 --> 00:18:22,715 but now I know it's a solid loaf of brain. 431 00:18:22,762 --> 00:18:25,664 Homie, you have such a way with foods. 432 00:18:25,698 --> 00:18:27,499 Let's go inside. 433 00:18:27,533 --> 00:18:29,735 Who do you think painted the word on the tree? 434 00:18:29,769 --> 00:18:33,238 No idea-- the important thing is that they did. 435 00:18:33,273 --> 00:18:34,573 Guess it must've been the person 436 00:18:34,607 --> 00:18:36,909 who knew I needed hope most of all. 437 00:18:37,879 --> 00:18:40,631 ♪ You're all 438 00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:44,663 ♪ I need to get by (snoring) 439 00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:51,986 You know, we've got a new version of that tablet. 440 00:18:52,034 --> 00:18:54,749 But I just got this three months ago. 441 00:18:54,794 --> 00:18:56,741 Yeah, that's the kind of thing I do, 442 00:18:56,784 --> 00:18:58,608 and yet I still wound up here, 443 00:18:58,641 --> 00:18:59,863 as your boss. 444 00:18:59,899 --> 00:19:01,399 Can I get Christmas off? 445 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,424 It's my kid's birthday. 446 00:19:03,544 --> 00:19:05,478 No. 447 00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:15,721 ♪ When the moon hits your eye 448 00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:17,839 ♪ Like a big pizza pie 449 00:19:17,863 --> 00:19:20,415 ♪ That's amore ♪ 450 00:19:20,673 --> 00:19:21,910 (tires screech) 451 00:19:22,046 --> 00:19:24,438 ♪ When the world seems to shine like ♪ 452 00:19:24,476 --> 00:19:26,285 ♪ You've had too much wine 453 00:19:26,322 --> 00:19:29,279 ♪ That's amore 454 00:19:30,079 --> 00:19:33,479 ♪ Bells'll ring, ting-a-ling-a ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling ♪ 455 00:19:33,504 --> 00:19:38,407 ♪ And you'll sing "Vita Bella" ♪ 456 00:19:39,152 --> 00:19:43,389 ♪ Heart's play tippi-tippi-tay, tippi-tippi-tay like a gay ♪ 457 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,595 ♪ Tarantella 458 00:19:47,163 --> 00:19:49,482 ♪ When the stars make you drool ♪ 459 00:19:49,507 --> 00:19:54,748 ♪ Just-a like a pasta fagiole, that's amore ♪ 460 00:19:55,398 --> 00:19:59,625 ♪ When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet ♪ 461 00:19:59,649 --> 00:20:02,384 ♪ You're in love 462 00:20:03,597 --> 00:20:05,933 ♪ When you walk in a dream 463 00:20:05,951 --> 00:20:10,510 ♪ But you know you're not dreaming, signore ♪ 464 00:20:10,739 --> 00:20:11,811 (screams) 465 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:15,924 ♪ 'Scusa me, but you see back in old Napoli ♪ 466 00:20:15,946 --> 00:20:20,382 ♪ That's amore ♪ 467 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,022 ♪ When... ♪ 468 00:20:22,075 --> 00:20:24,541 ♪ The moon hits your eye ♪ 469 00:20:24,562 --> 00:20:26,626 ♪ Like a big pizza pie ♪ 470 00:20:26,656 --> 00:20:30,711 ♪ That's amore ♪ ♪ That's amore ♪ 471 00:20:30,736 --> 00:20:34,649 ♪ When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine ♪ 472 00:20:34,681 --> 00:20:38,768 ♪ That's amore ♪ ♪ That's amore ♪ 473 00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,986 ♪ Bells will ring ♪ ♪ Ting-a ling-a ling ♪ 474 00:20:41,021 --> 00:20:43,885 ♪ Ting-a ling-a ling ♪ ♪ And you'll sing "Vita Bella" ♪ 475 00:20:43,922 --> 00:20:47,892 ♪ "Vita Bella," "Vita Bella" Hearts will play ♪ 476 00:20:47,932 --> 00:20:49,800 ♪ Tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay ♪ 477 00:20:49,827 --> 00:20:52,815 ♪ Like a gay tarantella ♪ 478 00:20:52,853 --> 00:20:57,111 ♪ Lucky fella, scusa me, but you'll see... ♪ 479 00:20:57,136 --> 00:20:59,199 ♪ Back in old Napoli ♪ 480 00:20:59,223 --> 00:21:01,618 ♪ That's amore. ♪ 481 00:21:01,786 --> 00:21:07,786 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 482 00:21:49,060 --> 00:21:50,568 Shh!