1 00:00:03,803 --> 00:00:05,236 - They are not. - They are too. 2 00:00:05,438 --> 00:00:08,202 Your hypothesis is completely disconfirmed by all the data. 3 00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:11,206 You're just clinging to it out of intellectual stubbornness. 4 00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:15,438 No, you're displaying a shocking ignorance of the subject matter. 5 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:18,742 Mummies and zombies are the exact same thing. 6 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:21,444 Oh, yeah? 7 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,349 Mummies are wrapped in bandages. 8 00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:26,047 That's called a fashion choice. 9 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,085 All right. You brought this on yourself. 10 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:33,197 - Sheldon, get him. - Lf a zombie bites you... 11 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,231 ...you turn into a zombie. 12 00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:37,062 However, if a mummy bites you... 13 00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:39,864 ...all you turn into is some schmo with a mummy bite. 14 00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:43,531 So, like a zombie that's been eaten from the waist down... 15 00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:46,541 ...you, sir, have no leg to stand on. 16 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,448 - Good boy. Here's a cookie. - Oh, thank you. 17 00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:51,844 Hey, fellas, what's going on? 18 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,610 Mummies and zombies again. 19 00:00:53,853 --> 00:00:56,549 Ahh. They're not the same thing. 20 00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,284 You get a cookie too. 21 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,484 Thanks. 22 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,594 Guess who picked up his new car this morning. 23 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:06,664 Congratulations. Does it have that new-car smell? 24 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,425 Yep. For as long as I can keep my mother out of it. 25 00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:14,130 If you wanna check it out later, it's parked right out front, Space 294. 26 00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:17,673 - I'm sorry, 294? - Yeah. 27 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,879 That's my parking spot. 28 00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:24,614 Why do you have a parking spot? You don't have a car. You don't drive. 29 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:27,309 It doesn't matter. That's my spot. 30 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,886 Maybe they reassigned it because you never use it. 31 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,618 I'm not using my nipples either. Maybe they should reassign those. 32 00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:39,123 Sheldon, someday, if you get a car... 33 00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:41,664 ...I'm sure they'll give you another parking space. 34 00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:44,927 I don't want another parking space. I want my parking space. 35 00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:49,199 Well, it's perfect. It's a corner spot, cutting the risk of door dings in half. 36 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,603 It's a mere 28 steps from the building entrance. 37 00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:55,144 The nearby tree provides shade on hot days... 38 00:01:55,348 --> 00:01:58,044 ...and is also home to a delightful squirrel... 39 00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:02,277 ...which is fortuitous because most squirrels are real jerks. 40 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,121 Fun story. Meanwhile, you still don't have a car. 41 00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:09,818 Don't try to change the subject. 42 00:02:10,029 --> 00:02:13,328 This is about a parking space. It has nothing to do with cars. 43 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,565 Are you listening to yourself? 44 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,794 I always listen to myself. It's one of the great joys of my life. 45 00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:22,800 - Now get your car out of my spot. - Nope. 46 00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:26,035 Very well, you leave me no choice. 47 00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:34,751 What are you looking at, you stupid squirrel? 48 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:06,049 President Seibert, listen to reason. 49 00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:09,221 Yeah, I understand I don't use the parking spot. 50 00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:11,686 That's not the point. L... 51 00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:15,588 Yes, I'm aware you told me not to call you at home. 52 00:03:16,095 --> 00:03:17,562 But you didn't answer the door. 53 00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:22,565 And I know you were there because I saw you through the mail slot. 54 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:25,635 Yeah, well, that's some salty language. 55 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,773 May I remind you, you're the president of a major university... 56 00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:31,533 ...not the president of the Potty Mouth Club. 57 00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:33,006 There it is again. 58 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,738 Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? 59 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,377 Oh. Well, I'm sorry for your loss. 60 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,644 Good night, sir. 61 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,445 Unbelievable. 62 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,016 He says Wolowitz deserves my spot... 63 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,716 ...because he's a high-profile asset to the university. 64 00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:51,590 Well, he's not wrong. Howard did go to the International Space Station. 65 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,060 That was five weeks ago. 66 00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,427 How much longer is he gonna milk that cow? 67 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,966 Sheldon, let it go. It's not a big deal. 68 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,140 No. No, this is a slippery slope, Leonard. 69 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:03,969 See, it starts with a parking space. Where does it end? 70 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:07,669 It's like my dad always said, "First they say you can't drink and drive. 71 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,405 Next you can't let your 10-year-old take the wheel... 72 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:13,245 ...while you sleep one off in the backseat." 73 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:17,855 All that story does is make me feel bad for your mother. 74 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:23,963 Leonard, you're my best friend. Why don't you ever take my side? 75 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:28,662 Because I can never understand your side! 76 00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:32,969 Give it back. 77 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:35,766 I'm sorry, but could you be more specific? 78 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:39,138 My Iron Man helmet. Koothrappali saw you take it. Give it back. 79 00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,210 Oh, that. 80 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:46,009 Well, see, I wanted it and you weren't using it. 81 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,289 Apparently, those are the rules we live by now. 82 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:55,525 Payback, it truly is the B-word, isn't it? 83 00:04:56,996 --> 00:05:00,454 Sheldon, that is a $500 limited-edition collectible... 84 00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:01,964 ...and I want it back. 85 00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:05,103 Well, I'd love to help you out, but unfortunately... 86 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,637 ...I'm using it. 87 00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:15,476 Fine. I'm taking your diploma. 88 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,679 Go ahead. That's the only doctorate you'll ever get. 89 00:05:24,857 --> 00:05:27,155 It smells funny in here. 90 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,925 We're so proud of you, Amy. Your first bikini wax. 91 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,859 Yeah. 92 00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:40,664 So how you doing? 93 00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:42,898 Oh, a little sensitive, but not bad. 94 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,238 Does it always take that long? 95 00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:48,744 Uh, no, they don't usually have to go out and get more wax. 96 00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:53,184 I feel like I'm 5 pounds lighter. 97 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,011 Really? Only 5? 98 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,587 Anybody want a drink? 99 00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,260 - Sure. - Okay. 100 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:06,159 So did you spend last night hearing about this silly parking-space fight too? 101 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,062 For hours. Fortunately, I couldn't understand most of it... 102 00:06:09,268 --> 00:06:11,964 ...because Sheldon was wearing that stupid robot mask. 103 00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:16,032 Howard was so angry, I had to mash up Benadryl in his ice cream... 104 00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:18,267 ...to get him to fall asleep. 105 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:23,709 I guess this is what we get for being with two testosterone-fueled alpha males. 106 00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:26,952 At some point, they're bound to lock horns. 107 00:06:27,186 --> 00:06:30,587 I'm assuming these are some kind of horns they bought at Comic-Con? 108 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,427 I'm really sorry they took Sheldon's spot away. 109 00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:38,620 He shouldn't have to suffer just because Howard's a big deal now. 110 00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:42,562 I know. Sheldon should just let Howard have his little moment in the sun. 111 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,601 What's that supposed to mean? 112 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,562 Well, I mean, Howard's never gonna go to space again... 113 00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:50,572 ...but Sheldon will always be a genius. 114 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:55,808 You're right. And I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again... 115 00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:59,314 ...if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science. 116 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:03,948 - Lf and when? - Maybe we should change the subject. 117 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,990 Amy, how are your lady parts? Still chilly down there? 118 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:13,756 Hang on. None of Sheldon's theories have ever been definitively proven. 119 00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:16,491 My husband actually went to outer space. 120 00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:18,363 That's an impressive accomplishment. 121 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,936 He's now an inspiration to millions of Americans... 122 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:25,304 ...who know you don't have to be special or even qualified to go into space. 123 00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:28,776 You know, I remember the first time I got a bikini wax. 124 00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:32,849 My sister did it with melted Crayolas and duct tape. 125 00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:35,950 Yeah, it's a bad idea. 126 00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:40,288 Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. 127 00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:44,953 Is it maybe because, like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical? 128 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:50,298 Damn. 129 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,802 Well, at least when we do make love... 130 00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:56,531 ...Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother. 131 00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:02,208 That is a cleverly veiled reference to Howard's lifelong obsession... 132 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,645 ...to crawl back into her spacious womb. 133 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:10,651 Anyway, to this day, I still can't see a box of crayons without crossing my legs. Ha, ha. 134 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,648 I don't have to take this. 135 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:16,727 I'm gonna go home and have sex with my husband right now. 136 00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:20,160 Maybe I'll let him do it to me in the parking spot. 137 00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:25,398 Which sounds dirty but I didn't mean it that way. 138 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,104 Okay, here's another one. 139 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,710 If a zombie bites a vampire... 140 00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:35,574 ...and the vampire bites a human... 141 00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:39,683 ...does the human become a vampire or a zombie? 142 00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:42,580 Or a zompire? 143 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:46,351 Sheldon? 144 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,356 Cookie? 145 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,220 - I don't have any. - Well, I'm not giving it away. 146 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:58,192 - Hi, Sheldon. - Aah! 147 00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:03,202 He's in my spot. 148 00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:06,105 Leonard, make him stop being naked in my spot. 149 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,207 Howard, what are you doing? 150 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,607 He wasn't using it... 151 00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:17,647 ...and I needed a nice cool piece of leather to wiggle my naked ass on. 152 00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:20,282 Get off there. 153 00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:21,983 Give me back my Iron Man helmet. 154 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,456 Give back my parking space. 155 00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:26,154 You don't need a parking space. You don't have a car. 156 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,425 You don't need an Iron Man helmet. You're not Iron Man. 157 00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:33,297 Well, we appear to have reached an impasse... 158 00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:36,498 ...and, you know, I have to say, I thought you'd be more upset... 159 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,768 ...that your laptop is sitting on my junk. 160 00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:44,244 I didn't pick up on that. That's a nice touch. 161 00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:59,194 This is so exciting. I'm feeling all tingly. 162 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,299 Although, that could just be my newly defoliated bikini zone. 163 00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,530 Keep a lookout. 164 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,330 This place is swarming with campus security. 165 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:10,008 They will not hesitate to scold us. 166 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,007 Freaking pigs. 167 00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:19,008 Oh, yeah. 168 00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:24,456 Okay, now pull your car into the spot and let's get out of here. 169 00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,284 Wait, I'm leaving my car here? 170 00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:28,824 Yes. And be sure and put on the emergency brake. 171 00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:31,462 It really makes these things tough to budge. 172 00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,155 Before I park, come in the backseat. 173 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:37,063 I wanna show you something I had done today. 174 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,500 All right. Color me intrigued. 175 00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:46,309 What do you think? 176 00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:49,208 I think you're high on paint fumes. 177 00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:52,950 And, boy, that's a lot of Band-Aids. 178 00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:58,719 Okay, Howard's mother is in, like, every one of your wedding photos. 179 00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:01,949 What can I tell you? She's a big girl. 180 00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:07,964 Wherever you look, there she is. 181 00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:09,996 More coffee? 182 00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:12,363 No, Leonard's taking me to a physics lecture... 183 00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:15,267 ...and coffee will just keep me awake. 184 00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:18,200 Oh, I'll get it. 185 00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:25,411 Oh, looks like someone's on Team Bernadette. 186 00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:29,351 - Where's Howard? - He's not here. What's wrong? 187 00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:32,752 He had my car towed. It cost me $200 to get it back. 188 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:34,289 Oh, no. 189 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,586 Where was it parked? 190 00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:40,221 In Sheldon's spot. 191 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,402 Well, that doesn't make sense. Sheldon doesn't have a spot. 192 00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:46,503 Was it maybe in Howard's spot? 193 00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:51,499 Don't play dumb with me, sister. You tell your husband he owes me $200. 194 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,373 - Well, that doesn't make sense either. - Why not? 195 00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:57,310 Because I'm the one who had it towed. 196 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:03,522 - You? - Didn't see that one coming, did you? 197 00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:06,750 Oh, yeah? Well, you're not gonna see this coming. 198 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:10,624 - Aah! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God, are you okay? 199 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,488 - What the hell do you have in there? - My wallet, keys... 200 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,898 ...and a coffee can full of change I've been meaning to take to the bank. 201 00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,429 - Don't move. I'll get some ice. - Are you okay? 202 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:25,770 Get away from me, or I swear to God, I will rip out what's left of your pubes. 203 00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:28,139 - Here. - Oh, thanks. Aah. 204 00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:30,542 Amy, you think maybe this has gotten out of hand? 205 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,615 Gee, you think? 206 00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:36,782 I do. Penny, Bernadette and I are sorry. 207 00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:39,617 - You hit her. What did I do? - You had my car towed. 208 00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:42,760 - You were parked in Howard's spot. - I was in Sheldon's spot. 209 00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:44,327 Sheldon doesn't have a spot. 210 00:12:44,563 --> 00:12:46,963 Guys, I think I need to go to the emergency room. 211 00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:49,157 - Okay, let's go. - I'll drive. You can see... 212 00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:53,361 ...where the tow truck scratched my car. - The tow truck didn't scratch your car. 213 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,131 - How do you know? - Because I did it. 214 00:13:06,018 --> 00:13:07,645 Morning, Professor Stevens. 215 00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:11,482 Hey, don't look at that whiteboard. That's my math, not your math. 216 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:12,850 Keep walking, nosy. 217 00:13:14,593 --> 00:13:17,027 What the hell are you doing? 218 00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:23,157 Oh. You said I'm not using my space, so I'm using it. 219 00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:27,862 Okay, you need to move now. 220 00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:29,540 No, I don't. 221 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:31,676 You can't stay there forever. 222 00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:37,372 Actually, I have a plastic baggy strapped to my leg that says I can. 223 00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:40,311 Give up, Wolowitz. 224 00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:44,046 You've chosen to tangle with a superior intellect you can't defeat. 225 00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:45,917 There is nothing you could possibly do to... 226 00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:57,163 Those aren't gonna help you, Sheldon. 227 00:13:57,369 --> 00:14:00,338 Oh, yes, they are. I mean, what? 228 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:03,002 I'm warning you, Sheldon. 229 00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:04,676 Your threats are empty. 230 00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:06,367 Nothing can move me. 231 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,648 - Stop that! - Get out of my spot! 232 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,875 No. That's it. I am calling campus security. 233 00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:16,550 You prepare for the scolding of your life. 234 00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:18,279 What are you idiots doing? 235 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,448 He's trying to kill me, Leonard. 236 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,856 Video games and rock music have desensitized him to violence. 237 00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:29,265 Would you please talk some sense into your lunatic roommate? 238 00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:32,437 You're both acting like lunatics. It's just a parking spot. 239 00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:33,797 Not just a parking spot. 240 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,940 He can't handle the fact that I'm a bigger deal than he is now. 241 00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:40,373 Oh, preposterous. I have been solely responsible... 242 00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:43,571 ...for this university's six-Ioop quantum gravity calculations. 243 00:14:43,782 --> 00:14:46,808 I have changed the way we think about Bose-Einstein condensates... 244 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:49,384 ...and I am also the one who got Nutter Butters... 245 00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:51,283 ...in the cafeteria vending machine. 246 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:57,128 Maybe you missed that news while you were floating around like a goof in outer space. 247 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:01,597 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. 248 00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,500 Can you believe this guy? 249 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,000 What I don't believe is you tried to run him over. 250 00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,297 Oh, like you've never thought of doing that. 251 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:13,100 Don't hate me just because I lived the dream. 252 00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:17,639 Hey, sweet ride. 253 00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:21,651 What are you doing in there? 254 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:24,914 Just breaking in your new car. 255 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,155 Stop that! You stop that! 256 00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:30,487 You know what they say. 257 00:15:30,729 --> 00:15:34,495 Revenge is a dish best served nude. 258 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:42,038 - Hey, got a minute? - Oh, of course, come in. 259 00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:52,608 This is an authentic Chinese throwing star, and I must warn you... 260 00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:55,514 ...I have seen many people throw them in movies. 261 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:59,056 Calm down. Howard has something he wants to say to you. 262 00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:00,682 All right. 263 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:07,456 Sheldon, when this whole thing with the parking space started... 264 00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:11,796 ...I had no idea just how much of a crazy bastard... 265 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:15,269 Howard, that's not how we practiced it. 266 00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:19,636 I had no idea how much that spot meant to you. 267 00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,405 Anyway, I called President Seibert... 268 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:26,516 ...and told him it's not worth fighting over the spot... 269 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,414 ...so you keep it... 270 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:31,680 ...and I'll park in the structure across the street. 271 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,926 Well, Howard, thank you. 272 00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:39,092 That's quite a gesture on your part. 273 00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:41,832 You've shown yourself to be the bigger man. 274 00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:45,060 - Thank you. - Which I find totally unacceptable. 275 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:47,405 I must be the bigger man. 276 00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:52,001 Therefore, you may use my spot... 277 00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:57,012 ...until such time as I learn to drive or get a Batmobile. 278 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:01,544 Wow, okay. Well, thanks. 279 00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,915 I don't know what to say. 280 00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:07,217 There is nothing to say. Except I'm the bigger man. 281 00:17:08,927 --> 00:17:10,724 I'm not kidding. Say it. 282 00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:14,256 Just say it. 283 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,868 You're the bigger man, Sheldon. 284 00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:18,730 Oh, stop. 285 00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:23,035 And I believe this is yours. 286 00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:27,409 FYI, if you wear that into a bank, they will tackle you to the ground. 287 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:34,244 I'd like to propose a toast. 288 00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:36,421 To burying the hatchet. 289 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,853 To burying the hatchet. 290 00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:43,118 You know, I'm kind of glad this happened. 291 00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:47,093 Me too. In a weird way, I kind of feel like it brought us closer. 292 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,662 Yeah, everybody's happy. Great. 293 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:01,436 Can I help you? 294 00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:05,413 Yes, according to information I gleaned from Yelp... 295 00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:09,781 ...you had great success when a SantariaSuzy37... 296 00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:13,082 ...brought you a pair of leather slacks stained with chicken blood. 297 00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:17,388 You know, I believe I may have a similar problem. 298 00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:24,597 This cushion experienced a nude revenge wiggle. 299 00:18:26,004 --> 00:18:27,631 A what? 300 00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:29,971 A naked man sat on it. 301 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:31,837 Now, here's my concern. 302 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:35,605 His diet is rich in fatty deli meats. 303 00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:39,975 What tests do you have to detect lipid residue? 304 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,483 Lipid what? 305 00:18:44,022 --> 00:18:45,956 Lipid residue. 306 00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:47,819 An anal autograph. 307 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:51,990 A colon calling card, if you will. 308 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,666 - Tuesday okay? - Oh. 309 00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:02,205 Don't rush it. We may be dealing with befoulment on a molecular level. 310 00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:04,966 Let me write you a ticket. 311 00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:08,839 Is that your son? 312 00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:10,811 Uh-huh. 313 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,884 Looks like that laptop's seen better days. 314 00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,816 If you're interested, I'm selling this. 315 00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:18,455 It's only 2 years old... 316 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,215 ...has 16 gigabytes of RAM... 317 00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:22,256 ...Intel Core i7 processor... 318 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,155 ...and I can personally guarantee... 319 00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:28,527 ...it has spent less than 20 minutes resting on an astronaut's penis.