1
00:00:02,731 --> 00:00:04,425
- They are not.
- They are, too.
2
00:00:04,456 --> 00:00:06,641
Your hypothesis is
completely disconfirmed
3
00:00:06,659 --> 00:00:07,527
by all the data.
4
00:00:07,545 --> 00:00:08,811
You're just clinging to it
5
00:00:08,852 --> 00:00:10,458
out of intellectual
stubbornness.
6
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,807
No, you're displaying
a shocking ignorance
7
00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:14,514
of the subject matter.
8
00:00:14,721 --> 00:00:17,409
Mummies and zombies
are the exact same thing.
9
00:00:19,421 --> 00:00:20,665
Oh, yeah?
10
00:00:20,704 --> 00:00:22,641
Mummies are wrapped in bandages.
11
00:00:22,795 --> 00:00:25,546
That's called a fashion choice.
12
00:00:26,528 --> 00:00:29,232
All right,
you brought this on yourself.
13
00:00:29,281 --> 00:00:30,181
Sheldon, get him.
14
00:00:30,201 --> 00:00:32,051
If a zombie bites you,
15
00:00:32,828 --> 00:00:34,398
you turn into a zombie.
16
00:00:34,423 --> 00:00:36,262
However, if a mummy bites you,
17
00:00:36,295 --> 00:00:39,081
all you turn into is
some schmo with a mummy bite.
18
00:00:39,135 --> 00:00:41,229
So, like a zombie,
19
00:00:41,257 --> 00:00:42,748
that's been eaten
from the waist down,
20
00:00:42,773 --> 00:00:45,274
you, sir,
have no leg to stand on.
21
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:47,044
Good boy.
Here's a cookie.
22
00:00:47,074 --> 00:00:48,694
Oh, thank you.
23
00:00:48,759 --> 00:00:50,932
Hey, fellas, what's going on?
24
00:00:50,944 --> 00:00:52,995
Mummies and zombies again.
25
00:00:53,077 --> 00:00:55,729
Oh, they're not the same thing.
26
00:00:56,309 --> 00:00:57,692
You get a cookie, too.
27
00:00:58,362 --> 00:00:59,413
Thanks.
28
00:00:59,661 --> 00:01:02,730
Guess who picked up his
new car this morning?
29
00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:04,266
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Congratulations.
30
00:01:04,306 --> 00:01:06,323
- Does it have that new car smell?
- Yep!
31
00:01:06,437 --> 00:01:08,237
For as long as I can keep
my mother out of it.
32
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,500
If you want to check
it out later,
33
00:01:10,527 --> 00:01:13,144
it's parked right out front,
space 294.
34
00:01:13,521 --> 00:01:15,850
I'm sorry-- 294?
35
00:01:16,003 --> 00:01:19,088
- Yeah.
- That's my parking spot.
36
00:01:20,055 --> 00:01:21,589
Why do you have a parking spot?
37
00:01:21,591 --> 00:01:23,658
You don't have a car.
You don't even drive.
38
00:01:23,904 --> 00:01:24,929
It doesn't matter.
39
00:01:24,996 --> 00:01:26,445
That's my spot.
40
00:01:27,631 --> 00:01:29,681
Maybe they reassigned it
because you never use it.
41
00:01:29,922 --> 00:01:31,505
Well, I'm not using
my nipples, either.
42
00:01:31,539 --> 00:01:33,705
Maybe they should
reassign those.
43
00:01:34,619 --> 00:01:38,292
Sheldon,
someday, if you get a car,
44
00:01:38,316 --> 00:01:40,780
I'm sure they'll give you
another parking space.
45
00:01:40,889 --> 00:01:42,735
I don't want
another parking space.
46
00:01:42,759 --> 00:01:44,088
I want my parking space.
47
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,058
It's perfect.
48
00:01:45,098 --> 00:01:46,604
It's a corner spot,
49
00:01:46,622 --> 00:01:48,410
cutting the risk of
door-dings in half.
50
00:01:48,429 --> 00:01:50,785
It's a mere 28 steps
from the building entrance.
51
00:01:50,835 --> 00:01:54,220
The nearby tree provides shade
on hot days
52
00:01:54,273 --> 00:01:57,155
and is also home
to a delightful squirrel.
53
00:01:57,197 --> 00:01:58,447
Which is fortuitous
54
00:01:58,484 --> 00:02:01,184
because most squirrels
are real jerks.
55
00:02:03,925 --> 00:02:04,919
Fun story.
56
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,253
Meanwhile,
you still don't have a car.
57
00:02:07,273 --> 00:02:08,873
Don't try to change the subject.
58
00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:10,235
This is about a parking space.
59
00:02:10,273 --> 00:02:12,132
It has nothing to do with cars.
60
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,153
- Are you listening to yourself?
- I always listen to myself.
61
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:17,798
It's one of the great joys
of my life.
62
00:02:18,243 --> 00:02:21,024
Now, get your car
out of my spot.
63
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,073
Nope.
64
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,314
Very well.
65
00:02:23,436 --> 00:02:25,019
You leave me no choice.
66
00:02:25,058 --> 00:02:27,258
(groaning)
67
00:02:29,877 --> 00:02:31,227
(squirrel chattering)
68
00:02:31,416 --> 00:02:34,284
What are you looking at,
you stupid squirrel?
69
00:02:35,236 --> 00:02:38,638
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
70
00:02:38,663 --> 00:02:42,435
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
71
00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:43,709
♪ The Earth began to cool
72
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:46,805
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
73
00:02:46,841 --> 00:02:48,769
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
74
00:02:48,788 --> 00:02:51,586
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
75
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,632
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
76
00:02:53,662 --> 00:02:54,426
♪ Bang! ♪
77
00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,942
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x09 ♪
The Parking Spot Escalation
Original Air Date on November 29, 2012
78
00:02:56,976 --> 00:02:59,476
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
79
00:02:59,870 --> 00:03:02,770
President Siebert,
listen to reason.
80
00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:06,036
Yeah, I understand
I don't use the parking spot,
81
00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:07,174
but that's not the point.
82
00:03:07,193 --> 00:03:08,542
I...
83
00:03:08,619 --> 00:03:11,964
Yes, I'm aware you told me
not to call you at home.
84
00:03:12,767 --> 00:03:14,405
But you didn't answer the door!
85
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:16,527
And I know
86
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:19,096
you were there, because I saw
you through the mail slot.
87
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,379
Well, that's some
salty language.
88
00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:25,479
May I remind you that you're the
president of a major university,
89
00:03:25,511 --> 00:03:27,832
not the president
of the Potty Mouth Club.
90
00:03:28,287 --> 00:03:29,776
There it is again.
91
00:03:29,801 --> 00:03:32,268
Do you kiss your mother
with that mouth?
92
00:03:32,820 --> 00:03:35,122
Oh, well, I'm sorry
for your loss.
93
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:36,993
- Oh...!
- Good night, sir.
94
00:03:37,482 --> 00:03:39,364
Unbelievable.
95
00:03:39,541 --> 00:03:41,791
He says Wolowitz deserves
my spot
96
00:03:41,831 --> 00:03:44,746
because he's a high-profile
asset to the university.
97
00:03:44,777 --> 00:03:45,783
Well, he's not wrong.
98
00:03:45,820 --> 00:03:48,017
Howard did go to the
International Space Station.
99
00:03:48,043 --> 00:03:49,883
Yeah, that was five weeks ago.
100
00:03:49,902 --> 00:03:52,202
How much longer
is he gonna milk that cow?
101
00:03:53,504 --> 00:03:54,725
Sheldon, let it go.
102
00:03:54,762 --> 00:03:55,678
It's not a big deal.
103
00:03:55,697 --> 00:03:57,978
No, no, this is
a slippery slope, Leonard.
104
00:03:58,046 --> 00:03:59,896
It starts with a parking space.
105
00:03:59,898 --> 00:04:00,929
Where does it end?
106
00:04:00,955 --> 00:04:02,468
It's like my dad always said,
107
00:04:02,486 --> 00:04:04,602
"First they say you can't drink
and drive.
108
00:04:04,652 --> 00:04:06,545
"Next thing you know,
you can't let your 10-year-old
109
00:04:06,570 --> 00:04:10,522
take the wheel while you sleep
one off in the backseat."
110
00:04:11,049 --> 00:04:14,909
All that story does is make me
feel bad for your mother.
111
00:04:17,683 --> 00:04:19,284
Leonard, you're my best friend.
112
00:04:19,355 --> 00:04:20,972
Why don't you ever take my side?
113
00:04:22,125 --> 00:04:25,327
Because I can never
understand your side!
114
00:04:28,391 --> 00:04:29,525
Give it back.
115
00:04:29,889 --> 00:04:31,126
I'm sorry,
116
00:04:31,193 --> 00:04:32,749
but could you be more specific?
117
00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:33,949
My Iron Man helmet.
118
00:04:33,989 --> 00:04:35,892
Koothrappali saw you take it.
Give it back.
119
00:04:36,016 --> 00:04:38,033
Oh, that.
120
00:04:38,086 --> 00:04:40,236
Well, see, I wanted it,
121
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:43,094
and you weren't using it.
122
00:04:43,947 --> 00:04:47,249
Apparently, those are the rules
we live by now.
123
00:04:48,273 --> 00:04:49,355
Payback--
124
00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:52,031
it truly is the B word,
isn't it?
125
00:04:53,589 --> 00:04:57,241
Sheldon, that is a $500
limited edition collectible,
126
00:04:57,277 --> 00:04:58,322
and I want it back.
127
00:04:58,347 --> 00:05:01,548
I'd love to help you out,
but unfortunately,
128
00:05:01,972 --> 00:05:04,139
I'm using it.
129
00:05:08,919 --> 00:05:09,969
Fine.
130
00:05:09,996 --> 00:05:11,404
I'm taking your diploma.
131
00:05:13,035 --> 00:05:13,912
Go ahead.
132
00:05:13,952 --> 00:05:16,392
That's the only doctorate
you'll ever get.
133
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:24,110
It smells funny in here.
134
00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:26,618
We're so proud of you, Amy.
135
00:05:26,643 --> 00:05:27,818
Your first bikini wax.
136
00:05:27,836 --> 00:05:29,520
Yeah.
137
00:05:36,307 --> 00:05:37,408
So, how you doing?
138
00:05:37,434 --> 00:05:39,535
A little sensitive, but not bad.
139
00:05:40,162 --> 00:05:41,894
Does it always take that long?
140
00:05:41,938 --> 00:05:42,705
Uh, no,
141
00:05:42,736 --> 00:05:45,049
they usually don't have
to go out and get more wax.
142
00:05:46,923 --> 00:05:49,531
I feel like I'm
five pounds lighter.
143
00:05:51,285 --> 00:05:54,120
Really? Only five?
144
00:05:56,113 --> 00:05:57,501
Hey, anybody want a drink?
145
00:05:57,544 --> 00:05:58,776
- Okay.
- Sure.
146
00:05:59,090 --> 00:06:00,534
So, did you spend
last night hearing
147
00:06:00,559 --> 00:06:02,678
about this silly parking
space fight, too?
148
00:06:02,728 --> 00:06:05,601
For hours. Fortunately,
I couldn't understand most of it
149
00:06:05,622 --> 00:06:08,341
'cause Sheldon was wearing
that stupid robot mask.
150
00:06:09,638 --> 00:06:10,773
Howard was so angry
151
00:06:10,798 --> 00:06:12,734
I had to mash up Benadryl
in his ice cream
152
00:06:12,759 --> 00:06:14,935
to get him to fall asleep.
153
00:06:15,804 --> 00:06:16,906
I guess this is what we get
154
00:06:16,938 --> 00:06:20,490
for being with two
testosterone-fueled alpha males.
155
00:06:21,186 --> 00:06:23,793
At some point, they're
bound to lock horns.
156
00:06:23,942 --> 00:06:25,611
I'm assuming these
are some kind of horns
157
00:06:25,645 --> 00:06:27,561
they bought at Comic-Con?
158
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:32,213
I'm really sorry
they took Sheldon's spot away.
159
00:06:32,245 --> 00:06:33,224
He shouldn't have to suffer
160
00:06:33,255 --> 00:06:35,368
just because Howard's
such a big deal now.
161
00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:37,623
I know,
Sheldon should just let Howard
162
00:06:37,654 --> 00:06:39,454
have his little moment
in the sun.
163
00:06:39,864 --> 00:06:41,616
What's that supposed to mean?
164
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,299
Well, Howard's never gonna
go to space again,
165
00:06:44,336 --> 00:06:47,479
but Sheldon
will always be a genius.
166
00:06:48,736 --> 00:06:49,892
You're right.
167
00:06:49,923 --> 00:06:52,551
And I'm sure Sheldon will get
a fancy parking spot again,
168
00:06:52,576 --> 00:06:53,623
if and when he makes
169
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:56,214
a worthwhile contribution
to science.
170
00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:59,672
- If and when?
- Okay,
171
00:06:59,721 --> 00:07:01,699
maybe we should change
the subject. Amy, how are
172
00:07:01,730 --> 00:07:03,963
your lady parts?
Still chilly down there?
173
00:07:06,028 --> 00:07:07,259
Hang on.
174
00:07:07,388 --> 00:07:08,708
None of Sheldon's theories
175
00:07:08,733 --> 00:07:10,620
have ever been
definitively proven.
176
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:13,270
My husband actually went
to outer space.
177
00:07:13,316 --> 00:07:15,447
That's an impressive
accomplishment.
178
00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:17,671
He's now an inspiration
to millions of Americans
179
00:07:17,689 --> 00:07:19,007
who know you don't have
to be special
180
00:07:19,032 --> 00:07:21,182
or even qualified
to go into space.
181
00:07:22,173 --> 00:07:24,969
You know, I remember the
first time I got a bikini wax.
182
00:07:25,753 --> 00:07:29,331
My sister did it with melted
Crayolas and duct tape.
183
00:07:29,445 --> 00:07:32,536
(laughing):
It's a bad idea...
184
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,245
Gosh, Amy.
I'm sensing a little hostility.
185
00:07:37,315 --> 00:07:39,334
Is it maybe because,
like Sheldon's work,
186
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:42,110
your sex life
is also theoretical?
187
00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:47,109
Damn.
188
00:07:48,623 --> 00:07:50,668
Yeah, well, at least
when we do make love,
189
00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:53,507
Sheldon won't be thinking
about his mother.
190
00:07:55,538 --> 00:07:57,546
And yes, that is a cleverly
veiled reference
191
00:07:57,576 --> 00:07:58,717
to Howard's lifelong obsession
192
00:07:58,754 --> 00:08:01,522
to crawl back
into her spacious womb.
193
00:08:02,844 --> 00:08:04,872
Anyway, to this day,
I still can't see
194
00:08:04,909 --> 00:08:07,072
a box of crayons without
crossing my legs.
195
00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:10,517
I don't have to take this.
196
00:08:10,655 --> 00:08:13,590
I'm gonna go home and have sex
with my husband right now.
197
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:16,930
Maybe I'll let him do it
to me in the parking spot.
198
00:08:18,405 --> 00:08:21,928
Which sounds dirty,
but I didn't mean it that way!
199
00:08:22,605 --> 00:08:24,205
(door slams)
200
00:08:25,225 --> 00:08:26,987
Okay, here's another one:
201
00:08:27,078 --> 00:08:29,770
If a zombie bites a vampire,
202
00:08:30,606 --> 00:08:32,437
and the vampire bites a human,
203
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:35,804
does the human become
a vampire or a zombie?
204
00:08:37,079 --> 00:08:39,148
Or a zompire?
205
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,036
Sheldon?
206
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:45,176
Cookie.
207
00:08:46,346 --> 00:08:47,527
I don't have any.
208
00:08:47,609 --> 00:08:49,275
Well, I'm not giving it away.
209
00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:53,413
WOLOWITZ:
Hi, Sheldon.
210
00:08:53,462 --> 00:08:55,662
(screams)
211
00:08:58,779 --> 00:09:00,142
He's in my spot.
212
00:09:00,179 --> 00:09:02,846
Leonard, make him stop
being naked in my spot.
213
00:09:03,623 --> 00:09:06,030
(laughing): Howard,
what are you doing?
214
00:09:06,685 --> 00:09:08,895
He wasn't using it.
215
00:09:09,772 --> 00:09:11,990
And I needed a nice cool piece
of leather
216
00:09:12,014 --> 00:09:14,597
to wiggle my naked ass on.
217
00:09:16,024 --> 00:09:17,150
Get off there.
218
00:09:17,243 --> 00:09:18,647
Give me back my Iron Man helmet.
219
00:09:18,666 --> 00:09:20,216
Give me back my parking space.
220
00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:22,695
You don't need a parking space.
You don't have a car.
221
00:09:22,726 --> 00:09:24,447
You don't need
an Iron Man helmet.
222
00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:26,392
You're not Iron Man.
223
00:09:27,952 --> 00:09:30,235
Well, we appear
to have reached an impasse.
224
00:09:30,261 --> 00:09:32,134
And you know, I have to say,
I thought
225
00:09:32,159 --> 00:09:34,240
you'd be more upset
that your laptop
226
00:09:34,259 --> 00:09:36,823
is sitting on my junk.
227
00:09:38,751 --> 00:09:40,034
I didn't pick up on that.
228
00:09:40,056 --> 00:09:41,513
That's a nice touch.
229
00:09:51,476 --> 00:09:52,770
This is so exciting.
230
00:09:52,815 --> 00:09:54,198
I'm feeling all tingly.
231
00:09:54,237 --> 00:09:57,022
Although that could just be
my newly defoliated bikini zone.
232
00:09:58,004 --> 00:09:59,442
Keep a lookout.
233
00:09:59,476 --> 00:10:02,143
This place is swarming
with campus security.
234
00:10:02,179 --> 00:10:04,667
They will not
hesitate to scold us.
235
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,521
Freaking pigs.
236
00:10:11,739 --> 00:10:13,924
Oh, yeah.
237
00:10:16,096 --> 00:10:17,106
Okay, now,
238
00:10:17,124 --> 00:10:19,339
pull your car into the spot
and let's get out of here.
239
00:10:19,414 --> 00:10:21,002
Wait, I'm leaving my car here?
240
00:10:21,029 --> 00:10:23,624
Yes, and be sure and put
on the emergency brake.
241
00:10:23,642 --> 00:10:25,613
Really makes these
things tough to budge.
242
00:10:26,289 --> 00:10:28,883
Before I park,
come in the backseat.
243
00:10:28,907 --> 00:10:31,561
I want to show you something
I had done today.
244
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:34,715
All right, color me intrigued.
245
00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,128
What do you think?
246
00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:43,549
I think you're high
on paint fumes.
247
00:10:44,743 --> 00:10:47,829
And boy, that's a lot
of Band-Aids.
248
00:10:50,090 --> 00:10:51,772
Okay, Howard's mother
is in, like,
249
00:10:51,803 --> 00:10:53,491
every one
of your wedding photos.
250
00:10:54,090 --> 00:10:56,866
What can I tell ya?
She's a big girl.
251
00:10:59,881 --> 00:11:02,618
Wherever you look,
there she is.
252
00:11:03,291 --> 00:11:04,457
More coffee?
253
00:11:04,746 --> 00:11:07,464
No, Leonard's taking me
to a physics lecture,
254
00:11:07,524 --> 00:11:09,627
and coffee'll
just keep me awake.
255
00:11:09,815 --> 00:11:10,931
(knocking on door)
256
00:11:11,132 --> 00:11:12,631
Oh, I'll get it.
257
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:20,396
Oh, looks like someone's on
Team Bernadette.
258
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:22,790
Where's Howard?
259
00:11:22,809 --> 00:11:24,204
He's not here. What's wrong?
260
00:11:24,235 --> 00:11:25,469
He had my car towed.
261
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:27,672
It cost me $200 to get it back.
262
00:11:27,883 --> 00:11:29,150
Oh, no.
263
00:11:29,259 --> 00:11:31,167
Where was it parked?
264
00:11:33,417 --> 00:11:35,104
In Sheldon's spot.
265
00:11:35,177 --> 00:11:36,356
That doesn't make sense.
266
00:11:36,374 --> 00:11:38,157
Sheldon doesn't have a spot.
267
00:11:38,305 --> 00:11:41,357
Was it maybe in Howard's spot?
268
00:11:42,797 --> 00:11:44,197
Don't play dumb with me, sister.
269
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:46,178
You tell your husband
he owes me $200.
270
00:11:46,266 --> 00:11:48,054
Well, that doesn't
make sense, either.
271
00:11:48,138 --> 00:11:49,220
Why not?
272
00:11:49,354 --> 00:11:52,148
Because I'm the one
who had it towed.
273
00:11:54,837 --> 00:11:55,738
You?
274
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:58,404
Didn't see that one coming,
did ya?
275
00:11:58,897 --> 00:12:00,030
Oh, yeah?
276
00:12:00,057 --> 00:12:01,497
Well, you're not gonna see
this coming.
277
00:12:01,569 --> 00:12:03,007
Ow! Ow!
278
00:12:03,031 --> 00:12:05,388
Oh, my God, are you okay?!
279
00:12:05,465 --> 00:12:06,452
(muffled shouting)
280
00:12:06,473 --> 00:12:08,113
What the hell
do you have in there?!
281
00:12:08,138 --> 00:12:10,567
Just my wallet, keys and
a coffee can full of change
282
00:12:10,598 --> 00:12:12,514
I've been meaning
to take to the bank.
283
00:12:13,659 --> 00:12:15,043
Don't move.
I'll get some ice.
284
00:12:15,071 --> 00:12:16,019
Are you okay?
285
00:12:16,038 --> 00:12:17,363
Get away from me
or I swear to God
286
00:12:17,387 --> 00:12:19,420
I will rip out what's left
of your pubes!
287
00:12:20,636 --> 00:12:22,909
- Here.
- Thanks. Ah!
288
00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:25,260
Amy, you think maybe this has
gotten a little out of hand?
289
00:12:25,283 --> 00:12:27,279
Gee, you think?!
290
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:29,377
I do.
291
00:12:29,494 --> 00:12:31,613
Penny, Bernadette
and I are sorry.
292
00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:33,197
You hit her! What did I do?
293
00:12:33,223 --> 00:12:34,334
You had my car towed.
294
00:12:34,359 --> 00:12:36,039
You were parked in
Howard's spot!
295
00:12:36,057 --> 00:12:37,462
I was parked in Sheldon's spot!
296
00:12:37,504 --> 00:12:39,056
Sheldon doesn't have a spot!
297
00:12:39,081 --> 00:12:41,915
Guys, I think I need to go
to the emergency room.
298
00:12:41,950 --> 00:12:43,950
Okay, let's go.
I'll drive.
299
00:12:44,146 --> 00:12:46,327
You can see where the tow
truck scratched my car.
300
00:12:46,359 --> 00:12:47,940
The tow truck didn't scratch
your car.
301
00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:50,050
- How do you know?
- 'Cause I did it!
302
00:13:00,711 --> 00:13:02,549
Morning, Professor Stevens.
303
00:13:02,587 --> 00:13:03,884
Don't look at that whiteboard.
304
00:13:03,915 --> 00:13:06,035
That's my math, not your math.
305
00:13:06,347 --> 00:13:07,730
Keep walking, nosey.
306
00:13:09,114 --> 00:13:11,393
What the hell are you doing?
307
00:13:11,503 --> 00:13:12,435
Oh...
308
00:13:12,454 --> 00:13:17,328
You said I'm not using my space,
so... I'm using it.
309
00:13:20,984 --> 00:13:22,656
Okay, you need to move now.
310
00:13:22,708 --> 00:13:24,374
No, I don't.
311
00:13:24,427 --> 00:13:26,433
You can't stay there forever.
312
00:13:26,477 --> 00:13:29,269
Actually, I have a plastic baggy
313
00:13:29,302 --> 00:13:32,186
strapped to my leg
that says I can.
314
00:13:33,821 --> 00:13:35,160
Give up, Wolowitz.
315
00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:36,327
You've chosen to tangle
316
00:13:36,371 --> 00:13:38,715
with a superior intellect
you can't defeat.
317
00:13:38,878 --> 00:13:40,878
There is nothing you could
possibly do to...
318
00:13:40,905 --> 00:13:43,422
(horn blaring)
319
00:13:50,155 --> 00:13:51,888
Those aren't gonna help you,
Sheldon!
320
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,045
Oh, yes, they are!
321
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,873
I mean, what?!
322
00:13:55,814 --> 00:13:57,731
(horn stops)
I'm warning you, Sheldon!
323
00:13:57,789 --> 00:13:59,455
Your threats are empty!
324
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,548
Nothing can move me!
325
00:14:02,355 --> 00:14:03,406
Stop that!
326
00:14:03,464 --> 00:14:04,846
Get out of my spot!
327
00:14:05,073 --> 00:14:07,492
That's it.
I am calling campus security!
328
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:11,198
You prepare for the
scolding of your life!
329
00:14:11,496 --> 00:14:13,313
What are you idiots doing?!
330
00:14:13,590 --> 00:14:15,209
He's trying to kill me, Leonard!
331
00:14:15,241 --> 00:14:16,695
Video games and rock music
332
00:14:16,732 --> 00:14:18,701
have desensitized
him to violence!
333
00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:22,234
Would you please
talk some sense
334
00:14:22,259 --> 00:14:23,906
into your lunatic roommate?
335
00:14:23,944 --> 00:14:25,465
You're both acting
like lunatics.
336
00:14:25,488 --> 00:14:28,489
- It's just a parking spot.
- It's not just a parking spot!
337
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:29,620
He can't handle the fact that
338
00:14:29,645 --> 00:14:31,440
I'm a bigger deal
than he is now.
339
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,983
Oh, preposterous!
340
00:14:33,007 --> 00:14:34,914
I have been solely responsible
341
00:14:34,939 --> 00:14:38,211
for this university's six-loop
quantum gravity calculations;
342
00:14:38,243 --> 00:14:39,974
I have changed the way we think
343
00:14:39,998 --> 00:14:42,776
about Bose-Einstein condensates,
and I am also the one
344
00:14:42,879 --> 00:14:46,131
who got Nutter Butters in
the cafeteria vending machine.
345
00:14:47,329 --> 00:14:48,890
Maybe you missed that news
while you were
346
00:14:48,915 --> 00:14:50,748
floating around like a goof
in outer space.
347
00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:55,345
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have work to do.
348
00:14:56,792 --> 00:14:58,252
Can you believe this guy?
349
00:14:58,293 --> 00:15:00,727
What I don't believe is that you
tried to run him over.
350
00:15:00,764 --> 00:15:03,424
Oh, like you've never
thought of doing that.
351
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:07,209
Don't hate me just because
I lived the dream.
352
00:15:07,604 --> 00:15:08,836
(horn beeps twice)
353
00:15:09,207 --> 00:15:10,139
Hey.
354
00:15:10,192 --> 00:15:12,058
Sweet ride!
355
00:15:14,989 --> 00:15:16,514
What are you doing in there?!
356
00:15:16,551 --> 00:15:19,135
Just breaking in your new car.
357
00:15:22,036 --> 00:15:23,843
Stop that!
You stop that!
358
00:15:23,883 --> 00:15:25,408
You know what they say?
359
00:15:25,434 --> 00:15:28,926
Revenge is a dish
best served nude.
360
00:15:32,771 --> 00:15:33,938
(knocking on door)
361
00:15:34,421 --> 00:15:35,584
Hey, got a minute?
362
00:15:35,624 --> 00:15:37,099
Oh, of course, come in.
363
00:15:44,202 --> 00:15:46,207
This is an authentic Chinese
throwing star,
364
00:15:46,226 --> 00:15:47,090
and I must warn you,
365
00:15:47,108 --> 00:15:49,565
I have seen many people
throw them in movies.
366
00:15:50,759 --> 00:15:51,903
Calm down.
367
00:15:51,922 --> 00:15:53,855
Howard has something he
wants to say to you.
368
00:15:54,443 --> 00:15:55,894
WOLOWITZ:
All right.
369
00:15:56,083 --> 00:16:01,938
Sheldon, when this whole thing
with the parking space started,
370
00:16:02,056 --> 00:16:06,611
I had no idea just how much
of a crazy bastard...
371
00:16:06,642 --> 00:16:08,061
Howard...
372
00:16:08,503 --> 00:16:10,234
that's not how we practiced it.
373
00:16:11,158 --> 00:16:14,163
I had no idea how much that spot
meant to you.
374
00:16:14,550 --> 00:16:16,067
Anyway, I called
375
00:16:16,094 --> 00:16:19,095
President Siebert and told him
376
00:16:19,116 --> 00:16:21,397
it's not worth fighting over
the spot,
377
00:16:21,421 --> 00:16:24,635
so you keep it, and I'll park
378
00:16:24,660 --> 00:16:26,630
in the structure
across the street.
379
00:16:27,673 --> 00:16:30,292
Well, Howard, thank you.
380
00:16:31,089 --> 00:16:33,440
It's quite a gesture
on your part.
381
00:16:34,214 --> 00:16:36,183
You've shown yourself
to be the bigger man.
382
00:16:36,278 --> 00:16:36,983
Thank you.
383
00:16:37,004 --> 00:16:39,571
Which I find totally
unacceptable.
384
00:16:40,572 --> 00:16:43,117
I must be the bigger man.
385
00:16:43,709 --> 00:16:47,785
Therefore, you may use my spot
until such time
386
00:16:47,822 --> 00:16:51,175
as I learn to drive
or get a Batmobile.
387
00:16:53,153 --> 00:16:54,909
Wow, okay.
388
00:16:54,959 --> 00:16:56,484
Well, thanks.
389
00:16:56,505 --> 00:16:58,565
I don't know what to say.
390
00:16:58,596 --> 00:17:00,096
There is nothing to say.
391
00:17:00,148 --> 00:17:02,140
Except I'm the bigger man.
392
00:17:03,450 --> 00:17:05,567
I'm not kidding. Say it.
393
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,387
Just say it.
394
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,664
You're the bigger man, Sheldon.
395
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,177
Oh, stop.
396
00:17:14,395 --> 00:17:17,815
And I believe this is yours.
397
00:17:18,276 --> 00:17:20,528
FYI, if you wear that
into a bank,
398
00:17:20,552 --> 00:17:22,766
they will tackle you
to the ground.
399
00:17:26,399 --> 00:17:29,029
I'd like
to propose a toast--
400
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,299
to burying the hatchet.
401
00:17:31,706 --> 00:17:34,240
To burying the hatchet.
402
00:17:35,627 --> 00:17:37,929
You know, I'm kind of glad
this happened.
403
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:39,183
Me, too.
404
00:17:39,212 --> 00:17:42,264
In some weird way, I kind of
feel like it brought us closer.
405
00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:45,579
Yeah, everybody's happy.
Great!
406
00:17:52,849 --> 00:17:53,900
Can I help you?
407
00:17:54,024 --> 00:17:56,450
Yes. According
to information
408
00:17:56,468 --> 00:17:58,102
I gleaned from Yelp,
409
00:17:58,125 --> 00:18:02,319
you had great success when
a santeriasuzy37
410
00:18:02,363 --> 00:18:04,263
brought you a pair
of leather slacks
411
00:18:04,289 --> 00:18:06,122
stained with chicken blood.
412
00:18:06,598 --> 00:18:09,871
I believe I may have
a similar problem.
413
00:18:12,372 --> 00:18:17,098
This cushion experienced
a nude revenge wiggle.
414
00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:19,706
A what?
415
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,510
A naked man sat on it.
416
00:18:22,784 --> 00:18:24,697
Now, here's my concern:
417
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:28,430
His diet is rich in
fatty deli meats.
418
00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:32,709
What test do you have
to detect lipid residue?
419
00:18:33,061 --> 00:18:35,136
Lipid what?
420
00:18:36,423 --> 00:18:38,238
Lipid residue.
421
00:18:38,497 --> 00:18:40,664
An anal autograph.
422
00:18:41,485 --> 00:18:44,654
A colon calling card,
if you will.
423
00:18:47,301 --> 00:18:49,035
Tuesday okay?
424
00:18:50,189 --> 00:18:51,139
Don't rush it.
425
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:52,917
We may be dealing
with befoulment
426
00:18:52,952 --> 00:18:54,818
on a molecular level.
427
00:18:55,337 --> 00:18:57,356
Let me write you a ticket.
428
00:19:00,143 --> 00:19:01,525
Is that your son?
429
00:19:01,610 --> 00:19:03,183
Uh-huh.
430
00:19:03,588 --> 00:19:06,322
Looks like that laptop's
seen better days.
431
00:19:06,556 --> 00:19:09,524
If you're interested,
I'm selling this.
432
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,116
It's only two years old,
433
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:12,942
16 gigabytes of RAM,
434
00:19:12,976 --> 00:19:14,769
Intel core, i7 processor,
435
00:19:14,793 --> 00:19:16,542
and I can personally guarantee
436
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,864
it has spent less than
20 minutes resting on
437
00:19:18,889 --> 00:19:20,172
an astronaut's penis.
438
00:19:23,625 --> 00:19:28,625
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther