It's alive!
No! Not pop rocks and soda!
You'll die if you try it!
Ah, that's just an urban legend.
Gee, Brain, what are we gonna do tonight?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Those ugly mice sure can sleep a lot.
Yeah, we've been injecting them with synthetic PCP for months,
and they haven't shown any aggressive tendencies at all.
Huh. Well, let's up the dosage.
Yes. Yes!
Toby, sometimes when we have trouble recalling our childhood,
it's because we're repressing some painful trauma from the past.
Now, close your eyes and try to remember.
What happened to you?
♪ Magic pants ♪
♪ Oh, magic pants ♪
♪ The love I'm gonna give you is deep inside my pants ♪
In 9 hours and 23 minutes, you'll be mine.
♪ The love I'm gonna give you is deep inside my pants ♪
Oh, it's terrible.
I think I can help.
♪ Dance, magic dance ♪
I don't... I don't think this is working.
It's working.
And now back to "The Land Before Time."
So, uh, when's that party supposed to start?
I think we can just show up whenever.
This has been "The Land Before Time."
Well, howdy, new friend. I'm Ricky Recycle Bin.
Recycle my asshole!
If it would help save the planet, you bet I would!
Uh, excuse me, sir? No bottlecaps.
Eh, no big deal.
Recycling is good for the environment.
Hey, thanks, guys.
Oh, but this is PVC plastic type 3.
I accept types 1 and 2 only.
For the last time, no dirty pizza boxes
or polyethylene-coated coffee cups.
I'm trying, all right? Don't be a dick about it.
I'm being a dick about it for the children!
Hey, dipshit, what part of "cut up cardboard boxes
into two-foot by two-foot squares,
bundle them with twine, and leave them out
on the third Tuesday of every other month only"
don't you understand?!
Sheesh. Now I understand why you're so grouchy.
Do you?
I love you, little brother, but now it's time for me
to seek my fortune out in the world.
Give morn a kiss for me, will you?
Hey, thanks for the ride. I'm going to...
Hey, what are you doing?
Nooooooo!
You don't know me at all, man.
You don't know anything about me.
You are free to go.
The morning commute is looking smooth
at the Cries-Cross Crash Interchange.
Whoops. No, folks.
A slight fender bender in the number four lane.
I suggest an alternate route.
Grandpa, where's the delete key on this thing?
Whoa! That's cool!
I hate your entire generation.
Ah! Wait a minute!
Luigi, all-a these gold coins!
They're everywhere!
Why are we wasting our lives in the sewers?
Our new lives are starting now!
Mario, your new place is awesome!
Oh. Sorry, bro.
Hey-a, not to worry.
There's a-plenty more where that came from.
Me and-a Mario, we get-a used to the finer things.
Now, about you show me how to use that-a honker of yours.
Uh, I don't know.
Oh, ding-ding-ding! Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!
Now I'm-a sleepy.
Hey. You guys used to come by on a pretty regular basis,
but I haven't seen you in a while.
We take-a the lady.
How about you order yourself a nice mail-order bride?
Now scram, capiche?
You-a were war-velous.
Oh, mamma fucking mia.
Mario, the mortgage, she's-a due!
Everybody wants a piece of the Mario.
Mario!
Come on! Come on, you son of a bitch!
Mario. It's-a over.
Hey, any chance you want to kidnap me
and put me up in your castle?
No way, Princess. I'm spoken for now.
And that's why Daddy and Uncle Luigi are plumbers
and we live here instead of a big, fancy house.
Shut up-a your face!
Right. Big money. Big money.
No whammies. No whammies.
And stop!
We are gathered here in remembrance of Ted,
a total loser.
Oh, my own funeral.
That's funny. - Here's his obituary.
"Born, sucked, died.
He's survived by his family. And his chlamydia."
I don't even know how I got chlamydia.
Because I fucked your wife!
Oops! Look who put their costume on inside out.
Fuck you, Bizarro!
What's going on? Are we, like, under attack?
Oh, my God! Look!
Are you getting this, man?
Wait! What's that in his hands?
Where all humans come from?
Me so scared! It's a madhouse!
Oh, wait. White balance off slightly.
Hey! You can't do that!
We're the scared ones recording you!
Humans shut up!
Me sell found footage for movie!
Make six figures!
It's not about the money, you monster!
It's about art!
That bullshit!
Art and commerce often intersect... aaah!
Oh, no!
My friend!
No! My camera!
It looks like rain.
It looks like horse.
It looks like volcano.
Very good. You get a lollipop.
Hey! Lollipop!
I can't get it out of my head, Colonel.
The things they did to me over there.
Tell us what we want to know!
Rambo, John.
936...
Always with the mumbling. You sound like this!
Rambo, John.
936...
Oh, no. Not again! Please!
And now back to Whitney.
Sex joke toilet seat? Wacky neighbors!
No more! No more!
Aaaaah!
Your hair's so thick and pretty
even in this humid jungle atmosphere.
What kind of product you use?!
Rambo, John. 93601...
We have ways of making you talk.
- "Twilight," by Stephenie Meyer. - You wouldn't dare.
"I never thought I'd fuck a vampire."
He's trying to swallow his own tongue! Stop him!
You've been a prisoner for weeks, but you still ripped as hell.
You focus on core? What's your routine?
I won't tell you anything.
You'll tell us what we want to know
or you'll play The video game"!
NO! No!
No.
NO! No!
Not again!
Aaaah! - Stop him!
He's trying to remove his own eyes with the joystick!
You must forgive my friend for being so harsh, Mr. Rambo.
To make you feel more at home,
we washed your beloved bandana.
We know it's the sum total
that separates your character from Rocky.
Now please enjoy the food and music.
♪ Gonna never let you out ♪
♪ of my rape dungeon J“
You got Rickrolled, American swine!
Oh, no!
- Will you talk? - No.
No, no. Not Mummenschanz.
Don't make me watch this!
Geneva convention! Geneva convention!
You beard so finely manicured. You must have sculpting tools.
- Stop it! - Where your sculpting tools?!
Oh, please tell me they're not pooping in that cup.
Oh, God. They are.
Rambo, John. 936...
Okay, look, Rambo. We out of ideas here.
Please just tell us what we want to know!
Did somebody finally learn the word "please"?
That's all you had to say!
Our troops locations are on microfilm
sewn into my scrotum. I'll drive.
You guys got any good eight-tracks?
You bet your bandana we got good eight-tracks.
You gave them our troop positions?!
We lost the war!
Did they have "Zeppelin IV"?
Yeah, that is a stone groove.
That is a stone groove.
♪ Gonna never let you out of our rape dungeon ♪
♪ Never gonna tell your folks where you got to ♪
Whoo!
♪ My rape ♪
♪ My rape dungeon J“
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Raaaaah!
Me so sorry.
Tell me morn I love her.
Stop doing that! You don't get to do that!