1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:03,900
(hip-hop playing)
Yeah, oh, yeah.

2
00:00:03,910 --> 00:00:05,610
Yeah, take that, floor.

3
00:00:05,620 --> 00:00:07,300
Dirty, dirty floor.

4
00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:08,070
Lamp.

5
00:00:08,073 --> 00:00:10,170
Yeah, curtain.

6
00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:12,090
Here we go.

7
00:00:12,090 --> 00:00:13,360
Plant.

8
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:15,420
Uh, uh, uh, uh...

9
00:00:15,426 --> 00:00:17,590
Oh, wow. I wish
I could un-see this.

10
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,130
I never want
to stop seeing it.

11
00:00:19,306 --> 00:00:21,900
I couldn't look away if I tried.

12
00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:24,520
♪
Uh, uh, uh...

13
00:00:24,873 --> 00:00:27,270
Say it!
Say my name, bitch!

14
00:00:27,573 --> 00:00:30,060
Back it up, back it up,
back it up...

15
00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:32,060
God bless those dust bunnies.

16
00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:36,850
♪ Wake up, look around

17
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,020
♪ There's a feeling today

18
00:00:39,030 --> 00:00:43,740
♪ Fall down, get up again

19
00:00:43,790 --> 00:00:46,360
♪ Get in the game

20
00:00:46,370 --> 00:00:48,910
♪ Hey, hey, hey

21
00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:50,000
♪ We're all here anyway.

22
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:54,000
Ben and Kate - Season 01 - Episode 10 - The Trip

23
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:58,000
Synced & corrected by
GhostedNet

24
00:00:58,690 --> 00:01:01,100
Hi.

25
00:01:01,406 --> 00:01:02,026
Kate?

26
00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:03,190
I'm coming.

27
00:01:03,346 --> 00:01:04,370
Hold on a second.

28
00:01:05,686 --> 00:01:06,710
Hi, it's me.

29
00:01:06,740 --> 00:01:08,966
It's Kate. How are you?
Are you okay?

30
00:01:09,010 --> 00:01:11,540
Yeah, I'm really good.
How are you doing?

31
00:01:11,540 --> 00:01:13,450
Hey, listen,
Shelley's at her mom's.

32
00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:14,480
Any chance you can come over?

33
00:01:14,513 --> 00:01:17,190
(banging in distance)
Yeah, I can come over.

34
00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:19,326
BEN: What are you doing?
Yes, it's...

35
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:20,673
Ben's watching Maddie;
It's great.

36
00:01:20,670 --> 00:01:22,390
It's so great having him here,
you know,

37
00:01:22,390 --> 00:01:23,840
(sawing, clattering)
to do...

38
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,180
You rock at the
monkey bars.

39
00:01:25,180 --> 00:01:26,730
How can you suck
at this so bad?

40
00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:28,180
I'm gonna have to call you back.

41
00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:29,700
I'm gonna go murder my brother.

42
00:01:29,730 --> 00:01:32,040
Bye.
Okay.

43
00:01:32,070 --> 00:01:34,520
If you're gonna saw,
put your back into it.

44
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,520
A little muscle.
What are you doing?

45
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,230
Well, not getting any sawing
done, that's for sure.

46
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,890
What? No, you can't.

47
00:01:40,930 --> 00:01:42,110
That's not for children.

48
00:01:42,110 --> 00:01:43,450
Uncle Ben's making me
a loft.

49
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:45,430
Yeah, first I was thinking
bunk bed,

50
00:01:45,450 --> 00:01:46,950
but then I realized, hey,

51
00:01:46,950 --> 00:01:48,790
what kid doesn't love
a live-workspace.

52
00:01:48,820 --> 00:01:50,450
Did you sneak all of
this in through the back?

53
00:01:50,490 --> 00:01:52,120
One man's sneak
is another man's carry.

54
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,620
It was supposed
to be a surprise.

55
00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:55,380
For me?
Are you or are you not surprised?

56
00:01:55,380 --> 00:01:57,080
I'm not gonna let Maddie
just sleep in something

57
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:58,700
that you nailed together
willy-nilly, Ben.

58
00:01:58,730 --> 00:02:01,330
We're not using nails,
Kate, just rope.

59
00:02:01,370 --> 00:02:04,520
It terrifies me that she
actually listens to you.

60
00:02:04,550 --> 00:02:06,670
I know he means well, but
he got Maddie's hopes up,

61
00:02:06,670 --> 00:02:08,710
and now I kind of have
to buy her a new bed.

62
00:02:08,710 --> 00:02:10,790
I mean, one that
she's not gonna die in.

63
00:02:10,820 --> 00:02:13,210
Oh, my God, look at this.

64
00:02:13,260 --> 00:02:14,840
Oh, my God! Do you
know how many children

65
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,880
you could feed with the
money this bed costs?

66
00:02:16,930 --> 00:02:19,850
Probably about as many as it took to
build this thing. You're totally right.

67
00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:22,550
That is not the handiwork of
a well-paid adult. Want to get it?

68
00:02:22,550 --> 00:02:25,020
No. I want to get my camera
so I can take a picture of it,

69
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:26,846
find a cheaper version online.

70
00:02:26,893 --> 00:02:28,690
Cover me, okay? Oh, my God.

71
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:30,390
I did that. I broke it.

72
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:31,610
It was me. I'm really sorry.

73
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:32,560
I did that.

74
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,050
Um, I just...

75
00:02:34,053 --> 00:02:35,700
I'll pay for it,
whatever it costs.

76
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,066
It's $700.

77
00:02:37,066 --> 00:02:40,100
What the sh...
Shut your face.

78
00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:41,100
I'm sorry.

79
00:02:41,773 --> 00:02:42,653
Here you go.

80
00:02:42,946 --> 00:02:44,020
Thank you.

81
00:02:45,140 --> 00:02:46,810
Baller move, springing
for the giraffe lamp

82
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,320
on a social worker's salary.

83
00:02:48,326 --> 00:02:50,760
She's gonna have to do a lot of
filthy things to work that off.

84
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:54,650
Technically, he's not just on a
social worker's salary. I knew it.

85
00:02:54,690 --> 00:02:56,900
He's not helping those kids,
he's selling them.

86
00:02:56,940 --> 00:02:59,210
You know how much a Korean kid
goes for on the black market?

87
00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:01,960
Or a black kid on the Korean
market? Not as much.

88
00:03:01,990 --> 00:03:04,480
It's an offensive industry
for many reasons.

89
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,580
(clears throat)

90
00:03:05,580 --> 00:03:07,480
(mutters): He has a little
bit of family money.

91
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:08,800
What?

92
00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:10,780
He has a little family money.

93
00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:11,780
Family money.

94
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:12,840
This guy is rich.

95
00:03:12,890 --> 00:03:14,090
Wow. You know what this means?

96
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:15,890
This is like, a whole new class

97
00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:17,140
of vacations for us.

98
00:03:17,170 --> 00:03:18,170
Cayman Islands...

99
00:03:18,180 --> 00:03:20,480
(bell dinging)
Virgin Islands,

100
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,810
Thousand Islands.

101
00:03:22,850 --> 00:03:24,460
(bell continues dinging)
Nice work. Thank you.

102
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:25,630
You're welcome.
BEN: No.

103
00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:27,820
No, no, no.
Don't do this.

104
00:03:27,820 --> 00:03:28,800
Don't do what?

105
00:03:28,820 --> 00:03:30,650
You never, ever trust anybody

106
00:03:30,650 --> 00:03:32,300
who inherits anything, ever.

107
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:33,820
Only with regards to money.

108
00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:36,190
Near-sightedness,
psoriasis, albinoism,

109
00:03:36,190 --> 00:03:37,690
nothing but respect.

110
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:38,690
Yeah, that's true.
Hey, look,

111
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:40,200
I've got no problem

112
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:41,830
with people who
earn their own money,

113
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:44,150
but I can't respect
those trust fund d-bags

114
00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:45,950
with their fancy sandwiches.
Out of all the things

115
00:03:45,990 --> 00:03:48,000
you can resent,
you go for sandwiches?

116
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,510
It's the array of tapenades
that really gets my goat.

117
00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:52,310
Don't even get me started
on ciabatta.

118
00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:54,680
Trust me, Kate, I run into these
types of people all the time

119
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:55,800
working at the country club.

120
00:03:55,830 --> 00:03:56,850
You've worked there for a week.

121
00:03:56,850 --> 00:03:58,550
They're not our type of people.

122
00:03:58,550 --> 00:04:01,113
We're like, pull yourself
up by the bootstraps people.

123
00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:03,060
Make something out
of nothing people.

124
00:04:03,073 --> 00:04:04,250
You know, I've always
thought that dude

125
00:04:04,260 --> 00:04:05,420
was wrong for you, Kate.

126
00:04:05,420 --> 00:04:06,870
Now if you agree with me,

127
00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:08,510
we can start a new life
together in Seattle.

128
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,390
(chuckles)
What?

129
00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:11,786
Okay, that's not a no.

130
00:04:11,820 --> 00:04:13,660
I'm gonna assume
you're thinking about it.

131
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,320
Look, Ben,
I really like Will, okay?

132
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:19,773
And I've worked so hard
for everything my entire life.

133
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:22,813
So, yeah,
it's nice to have somebody

134
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:24,760
take care of things
now and then. Fine,

135
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,640
but just know this lamp thing
is just the tip of the iceberg.

136
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,610
Speaking of which, say good-bye
to iceberg lettuce forever.

137
00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:31,730
Yeah, it's all watercress

138
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:33,320
and radicchio from now on.

139
00:04:37,780 --> 00:04:40,360
The moisture's just gonna
soak up so well in our hair.

140
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,633
And give it a awesome,
kind of amazing type of curl.

141
00:04:43,653 --> 00:04:45,120
I know it's pretty good
already, and then with Kate...

142
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,020
Can I get a couple more?
Just a couple more...

143
00:04:47,373 --> 00:04:48,350
Think about it.

144
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:50,620
We can go hang out
in the Space Needle all day...

145
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:52,540
Give me a couple more...
Coffee shops everywhere.

146
00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:53,880
Yeah, just pour them all,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

147
00:04:54,553 --> 00:04:55,530
Great, then you
can just push them...

148
00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:56,880
Yeah, thank you, mm-hmm, there.
That's a good start.

149
00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:58,910
Do you think this
obsession with Kate

150
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,720
is now officially tragic?

151
00:05:00,846 --> 00:05:03,220
Okay, I am not obsessed
with Kate.

152
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,700
You think she's thinking
about Seattle?

153
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:06,870
Her and I,
down at the market,

154
00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:08,890
throwing fish at each other
in the rain... (chuckles)

155
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,210
Ow!
Tommy, she's in

156
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,710
an actual relationship now,

157
00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,650
and we need her to make
this work with Will

158
00:05:13,650 --> 00:05:15,560
because he is very, very rich.

159
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,100
And I need a lot of stuff.

160
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,380
You have to move on.
You have to.

161
00:05:19,390 --> 00:05:20,990
I can help you.
BJ...

162
00:05:20,990 --> 00:05:22,550
What's your type?
Look...

163
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,720
I don't know, okay?
I don't have a type.

164
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:27,390
Yes, you do.
I guess if I had to pick a type,

165
00:05:27,390 --> 00:05:29,560
I guess I would want
what any guy wants, you know?

166
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:30,750
Funny...

167
00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:32,900
Yeah, that's nice. Yeah.
Beautiful...

168
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,580
has a daughter named Maddie,

169
00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:36,290
brother named Ben.

170
00:05:36,340 --> 00:05:39,570
I say this with love:
You sicken me.

171
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,560
I can't believe
you cooked me dinner.

172
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,340
Well, and an endive
and radicchio salad.

173
00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:48,650
Wow, yeah, okay.

174
00:05:48,650 --> 00:05:50,770
Is there something wrong?
No, I mean, no,

175
00:05:50,770 --> 00:05:52,520
this is just like a fancy salad.

176
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,770
Kate. I let Ben
and Tommy get in my head

177
00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:56,970
about the money thing. I'm sorry.
You know what you need?

178
00:05:56,970 --> 00:05:58,360
You need a little less
Ben and Tommy

179
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,280
and just a little bit
more us.

180
00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:01,430
Let's go away for a night.

181
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,480
Do you like camping?
We should go camping.

182
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,430
We used to go camping
all the time.

183
00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:07,270
Ben and I would lie
in our tent at night

184
00:06:07,270 --> 00:06:08,700
and listen to the
sound of the wind

185
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,990
and our parents fighting.

186
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,820
Okay, well, why don't we do
the less-fighting camping

187
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:15,270
and the more romantic,
fun camping.

188
00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:16,710
That'd be great.

189
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,330
My grandpa may have left me
a little bit of money,

190
00:06:18,330 --> 00:06:20,110
but I'm still the same guy
I was yesterday, all right?

191
00:06:20,110 --> 00:06:21,280
This changes nothing.

192
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,970
This changes everything.

193
00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:26,370
Okay, first you must learn
how to speak to servants.

194
00:06:26,370 --> 00:06:27,670
All right?

195
00:06:27,670 --> 00:06:29,470
May I pour your tea, ma'am?

196
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:30,840
Yes, please.
No.

197
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:34,010
Never address
the help directly, Maddie.

198
00:06:34,010 --> 00:06:36,810
No-no eye contact.
Very good.

199
00:06:36,810 --> 00:06:38,650
Maddie, away.

200
00:06:38,650 --> 00:06:40,350
No, I'm BJ.
Bring it back to BJ.

201
00:06:40,350 --> 00:06:41,820
The help, look away.
Good.

202
00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:43,800
And back, lovely, very good.

203
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:46,070
Okay, cigarettes. Now, they're
gonna be offered to you

204
00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:48,470
probably between
the cheese course and coffee.

205
00:06:48,510 --> 00:06:50,810
I know, it's bad
for children to smoke,

206
00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:53,360
but, Maddie,
it's also very rude to say no.

207
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,550
(doorbell rings)

208
00:06:54,550 --> 00:06:56,200
Surprise!
I got you the bed

209
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,980
that you wanted for Maddie.
Oh, my God.

210
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,580
You didn't have
to do that at all.

211
00:06:59,590 --> 00:07:00,840
I mean, I looked
online and I found

212
00:07:00,870 --> 00:07:02,690
some really cute cheaper ones.
I know,

213
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,170
but I just wanted you
to have this one.

214
00:07:04,210 --> 00:07:05,170
Okay, come in.
Where is she?

215
00:07:05,210 --> 00:07:06,260
What's that?

216
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,830
Oh, I got a new bed for Maddie.

217
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,260
Kate not tell you I'm building
Maddie a loft?

218
00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:10,350
Yeah, guess how many nails

219
00:07:10,350 --> 00:07:11,930
I'm using.

220
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:14,070
Here's a little hint, chief:
Less than one.

221
00:07:14,070 --> 00:07:16,000
What up?
Yeah, well, she just wasn't sure

222
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,500
that you were gonna
finish it, so...

223
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:19,170
Oh...

224
00:07:19,170 --> 00:07:21,340
Wasn't sure I was
gonna finish it, huh?

225
00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:22,720
That's a natural reaction.
Start a project,

226
00:07:22,780 --> 00:07:25,340
don't finish it,
though, you know?

227
00:07:25,340 --> 00:07:26,540
I can understand how
you might get to that.

228
00:07:26,550 --> 00:07:27,850
Kate, can I talk
to you for a sec?

229
00:07:27,850 --> 00:07:29,770
What?
Can I talk to you for a sec?

230
00:07:29,770 --> 00:07:31,780
Why are you acting like that?
I told you.

231
00:07:31,780 --> 00:07:34,040
I have the loft situation
under control. Yeah,

232
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:37,020
but Will-Will got that one,
even though I told him not to,

233
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,190
but it's really amazing,
and it's nice, and it's safe.

234
00:07:39,190 --> 00:07:40,690
Okay, let me tell you
what's not safe.

235
00:07:40,690 --> 00:07:43,190
A whole bed that comes
in a box.

236
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,450
Well,
there's eight more outside.

237
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:47,050
Really? Nine full boxes?
Maybe you guys

238
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,250
should build
this loft together.

239
00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,040
I got a guy coming over later
to assemble it, so...

240
00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:53,310
Did you hear that?
He's got a guy.

241
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,390
Hey, listen, chief,

242
00:07:56,390 --> 00:07:58,890
super sweet,

243
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:01,550
bringing that bed.
Like, really nice, champ,

244
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:02,780
you know, but, uh, frankly,

245
00:08:02,780 --> 00:08:05,720
Maddie, she's not really
into that stuff.

246
00:08:05,740 --> 00:08:06,940
Is that for me?
Well, it sure is.

247
00:08:06,990 --> 00:08:08,900
Do you like it?
I love it!

248
00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:11,560
It's so pretty.
Just making you feel better.

249
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:12,890
God, she is patronizing.

250
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,230
Yeah, I can feel that.

251
00:08:14,230 --> 00:08:15,240
MADDIE:
Mom, look,

252
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:16,780
there's more boxes outside.

253
00:08:16,780 --> 00:08:18,580
Eight more outside.

254
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:19,920
Probably just
wants to, you know,

255
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,500
make a fort out of the boxes.

256
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,070
You know, keep it
super grounded.

257
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,570
You know, Maddie
tends to do that,

258
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,050
just keep it real.

259
00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:27,670
Look, uh, I...

260
00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:28,920
I was just
kind of wondering...

261
00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:30,090
I'm not into bathhouses, bro.

262
00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:31,930
I'll keep that in mind.

263
00:08:31,930 --> 00:08:33,930
Um, listen,

264
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,850
Kate and I were thinking
about going camping, and, uh,

265
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,800
I was wondering if maybe
you could watch Maddie?

266
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,250
Yeah, sure, Will, that
sounds awesome. Thanks.

267
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,420
Thanks for the opportunity.

268
00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:43,610
Great. Thanks.

269
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,920
Hey, let me help you
with those boxes.

270
00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:47,640
Wait, I was just
being sarcastic, dude.

271
00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:49,930
What the...? BJ: Tommy.

272
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,610
Okay, wait here.

273
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:52,950
What's the emergency?

274
00:08:52,980 --> 00:08:54,930
I want you to meet at least two

275
00:08:54,930 --> 00:08:57,150
of your future wives.

276
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,120
The first is my
friend from yoga,

277
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,710
the second is my
dead cousin's widow,

278
00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:03,940
and the third, I just
met on the street,

279
00:09:03,980 --> 00:09:06,960
but she seems very interested.

280
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,550
In what?
Unclear.

281
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:12,280
BJ, I don't have time for this, okay?
I have a tennis class in half an hour.

282
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:14,050
Perfect. You've got 15
minutes to find a replacement

283
00:09:14,050 --> 00:09:15,890
for the woman who has captivated
your every waking thought

284
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:17,560
for the past ten years. Go.

285
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:19,010
Hi, I'm Tracy.

286
00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:22,310
I love cooking, working out,
and gardening,

287
00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:25,650
and I'm just looking for someone
with nice feet

288
00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:28,300
to step on my face
at the end of the day.

289
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:30,020
It was the first morning
of our honeymoon,

290
00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:32,650
and when I turned over,
he was dead next to me.

291
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:35,910
There was a pillow over his face
but no sign of a break-in.

292
00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:38,490
As my lawyer says,
I have no idea what happened,

293
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,480
but I'm deeply saddened.

294
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,550
(with accent):
Chinese theater?

295
00:09:41,550 --> 00:09:42,830
Oh, you like theater?

296
00:09:42,830 --> 00:09:44,320
California.

297
00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,830
Movie stars?

298
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,490
Would you excuse me
for one second?

299
00:09:48,490 --> 00:09:52,870
So, who's the lucky lady?

300
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,430
Well, number three
wanted directions,

301
00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:56,160
number one is a dude,

302
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,600
and number two, I'm pretty
sure she killed your cousin.

303
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,380
Three-way toss-up.
Classic Sophie's Choice.

304
00:10:06,166 --> 00:10:07,020
What's going on?

305
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:08,520
We're going camping, too.

306
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:11,030
Oh, really?
Am I in trouble or is he?

307
00:10:11,030 --> 00:10:13,110
I feel like it's probably you.

308
00:10:15,553 --> 00:10:18,150
What are you doing?
Nothing.

309
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:19,880
Hey, I'm just taking my niece
on a fun,

310
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,340
spontaneous excursion.

311
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,670
Okay fine, truth is
I don't trust that guy.

312
00:10:23,670 --> 00:10:25,310
You think nature comes
in nine boxes

313
00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:27,400
any you can pay a guy
to put it together?

314
00:10:27,406 --> 00:10:28,960
No, you could die out there.

315
00:10:28,970 --> 00:10:31,340
Why don't you just skip
the spying and come with us?

316
00:10:31,390 --> 00:10:33,230
What? We both know
that every version of this

317
00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:34,460
ends with you coming with us.

318
00:10:34,493 --> 00:10:35,930
Really? You'd be
okay with that?

319
00:10:35,950 --> 00:10:37,600
Yeah, sure, there's plenty
of room in the cabin.

320
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:39,820
The cabin? Is that your idea
of roughing it?

321
00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:41,650
Yeah, it's warm, it's cozy,

322
00:10:41,650 --> 00:10:43,400
and I thought it'd be
more comfortable for Kate.

323
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:44,870
Oh, really?
Is that what you thought?

324
00:10:44,870 --> 00:10:46,700
That it'll be nicer
for my sister?

325
00:10:46,740 --> 00:10:48,146
That she could take a shower

326
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,490
and stay warm
and not get scared?

327
00:10:50,490 --> 00:10:53,330
That's-that's actually
super thoughtful, in fact.

328
00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:54,810
It's really nice of you.

329
00:10:54,850 --> 00:10:56,420
But if you want to sleep
outside, you and Maddie

330
00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:58,010
are more than welcome
to camp in the yard.

331
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,200
Oh, really? Is that your move,
that we could actually...

332
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,160
That's actually super sweet,
too; Thank you.

333
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,930
I'd love to take you up on that
offer. Great. Let's go camping.

334
00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:07,960
Yeah.
(chuckles weakly)

335
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:10,980
Listen, I shouldn't have
thrown that many women

336
00:11:10,986 --> 00:11:12,040
at you so quickly.

337
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,470
The number was an issue,
but caliber was also suspect.

338
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,780
Well... it's not exactly
fair to blame them, is it?

339
00:11:18,786 --> 00:11:21,510
We all know who's
really at fault.

340
00:11:21,530 --> 00:11:23,030
BJ, you don't have
to apologize.

341
00:11:23,393 --> 00:11:25,313
You.
Me? How is it my fault?

342
00:11:25,333 --> 00:11:28,753
Tommy, the way you approach
women is all wrong.

343
00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:30,033
You're too open.

344
00:11:30,066 --> 00:11:33,393
When you approach a woman,
it is all about the hunt!

345
00:11:33,406 --> 00:11:34,990
The hunt.
No, I don't mean the hunt.

346
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:36,413
I mean, it's the chase.

347
00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:37,873
Aren't hunting and chasing
the same thing?

348
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:39,860
Never correct a woman.
That ends the dialog.

349
00:11:39,860 --> 00:11:41,690
You're trying to cultivate a
back-and-forth here, you see? Okay, yeah.

350
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,650
See? Now what you did just
there, you let me off the hook.

351
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:45,230
Don't let me
get away with that.

352
00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:46,820
But you said I shouldn't
correct you.

353
00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:48,170
Don't say what I said
back to me.

354
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,390
I'm sorry.
Don't say you're sorry.

355
00:11:49,420 --> 00:11:51,440
Apologize.
I'm sorry.

356
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,770
No! Apologize, Tommy!
Forgive me...

357
00:11:53,810 --> 00:11:55,110
For what?

358
00:11:55,110 --> 00:11:58,130
...for agreeing,
but not disagreeing.

359
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,300
Better.
I am so confused.

360
00:12:00,330 --> 00:12:01,500
Exactly.

361
00:12:03,270 --> 00:12:05,620
You get it. Do you see?

362
00:12:05,973 --> 00:12:07,720
Oh! Women!
Yes.

363
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:08,960
Yes.

364
00:12:08,990 --> 00:12:11,120
This is so nice.
Mm-hmm.

365
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,980
It's so amazing.

366
00:12:13,373 --> 00:12:15,130
I thought this stuff
only happened in movies,

367
00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:16,430
you know?

368
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,360
This bearskin rug smells
really bad.

369
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,320
That fire is
burning my face off.

370
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,820
(groans)

371
00:12:24,740 --> 00:12:26,160
(sighs)

372
00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:27,300
This is much better.

373
00:12:27,306 --> 00:12:28,860
So much better.

374
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:30,580
I love it here.

375
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:33,580
I love that you
love it here.

376
00:12:50,253 --> 00:12:50,260
All right!

377
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,480
Put out the fire,
buried my TP

378
00:12:56,093 --> 00:12:59,010
and hung the bear bag.
(chuckles)

379
00:12:59,010 --> 00:13:02,340
See? Camping doesn't have
to be fancy to be fun.

380
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:06,810
(grunting)

381
00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:08,570
Quickly, easily zip the...

382
00:13:09,346 --> 00:13:13,700
I'm gonna get all snug
like a little bug in a rug.

383
00:13:14,726 --> 00:13:16,806
Don't want any heat escaping.

384
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:18,293
Why do we hang a bear bag?

385
00:13:18,313 --> 00:13:21,560
Well, you see, bears can smell
food from a half a mile away.

386
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,060
So wouldn't they smell it
in a tree?

387
00:13:23,066 --> 00:13:24,400
Yeah, but they can't get it.

388
00:13:24,430 --> 00:13:25,530
But wouldn't that make 'em mad?

389
00:13:25,570 --> 00:13:27,950
I would think it would, yes.

390
00:13:27,950 --> 00:13:31,230
Yeah, I mean, those bears
have been promised a meal

391
00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:34,540
that is literally being
dangled over their head.

392
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:39,673
You know what?
I'm gonna actually move that bag,

393
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:43,550
so it's not directly
so... over our tent.

394
00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:48,610
Ow! Oh, damn it!

395
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,270
My leg shouldn't be this...

396
00:13:50,606 --> 00:13:51,910
Ow! Why is there so ma...

397
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,750
Oh, wow.

398
00:13:57,060 --> 00:14:00,000
Wow, these trees...

399
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,330
Proof of God.

400
00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:05,570
Pine...

401
00:14:06,066 --> 00:14:08,210
redwood, pine...

402
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:11,260
(distant):
Spruce, Christmas...

403
00:14:11,473 --> 00:14:13,053
walnut...

404
00:14:13,473 --> 00:14:14,600
alder pine,

405
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,093
ponderosa,

406
00:14:17,180 --> 00:14:20,440
crabapple. (laughs)

407
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:24,090
Look at those
beautiful leaves,

408
00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:27,320
you proud,
proud creature.

409
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,360
(chittering, fluttering)

410
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:34,070
Actually, those might not
be leaves at all.

411
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:36,630
Those are bats.
That's just a...

412
00:14:36,650 --> 00:14:39,110
that's just
a boatload of bats.

413
00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:41,106
Wow, may not even be a tree
in there at all.

414
00:14:41,106 --> 00:14:43,140
That's just a huge amount
of bats!

415
00:14:43,146 --> 00:14:44,400
Ah! Night bats!

416
00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:46,433
Okay, stay calm, people!
Stay calm!

417
00:14:46,460 --> 00:14:48,210
I've been here before!
I've trained for this!

418
00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:49,770
Should we go out there?
I know what I'm doing!

419
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,800
Oh, my God! Okay...
No, no, he's fine. Look at me.

420
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:57,026
Don't I look good
in here, in this lighting?

421
00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:57,590
BEN:
Be still! Be...

422
00:14:57,653 --> 00:14:59,680
(screaming)
Oh, my God.

423
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,606
Ben down!
Brother down!

424
00:15:13,460 --> 00:15:14,810
Where are we,
Mommy?

425
00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:17,790
We're home, baby.
Go to sleep.

426
00:15:21,970 --> 00:15:24,150
(Will grunts)

427
00:15:24,150 --> 00:15:26,560
I had to put Maddie in my bed.
Hers was full of sawdust.

428
00:15:26,580 --> 00:15:29,760
I put Ben in his, which, oddly,
was also full of sawdust.

429
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,640
I'm sorry our night
got cut short.

430
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,666
But, hey, what's a
romantic camping trip

431
00:15:33,673 --> 00:15:36,046
without a nice visit
to the emergency room?

432
00:15:36,173 --> 00:15:38,586
Get a few post-exposure
rabies vaccines.

433
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,180
So much fun!

434
00:15:40,393 --> 00:15:41,870
I know that Ben

435
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,386
has been acting
a little crazy...

436
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,140
a lot crazy recently,

437
00:15:47,166 --> 00:15:49,360
but we didn't have the
same opportunities as you,

438
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,160
so you have to understand.

439
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:53,860
I think it might, might have
made him just a little...

440
00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:55,260
...insane, maybe?

441
00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:58,026
Overprotective, maybe?

442
00:15:58,473 --> 00:16:01,550
But you know, he's in bed,

443
00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:02,906
we have the house
to ourselves.

444
00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:04,460
Thank God.
Yeah.

445
00:16:04,570 --> 00:16:05,700
How's Ben?

446
00:16:05,746 --> 00:16:06,760
Where, where is he?

447
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:07,600
What are you doing here?

448
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,800
I'm his emergency contact.
Now how is he?

449
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,190
He's fine. Tommy...

450
00:16:11,193 --> 00:16:12,693
More importantly,
how are you?

451
00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:13,826
I'm fine.

452
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,040
Hi. Oh, hey, Tommy.
Hey, BJ.

453
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:17,533
How's Ben?
Where is he?

454
00:16:17,533 --> 00:16:18,486
He's fine.
Yeah?

455
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:20,290
What are you doing here?
I'm his wife, remember?

456
00:16:20,290 --> 00:16:22,846
I'm his emergency contact.
Is he okay?

457
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,280
You guys,
please get out of here.

458
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:28,530
Oh, still paying off that
giraffe lamp. Nice.

459
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:29,970
Wh...?

460
00:16:29,970 --> 00:16:31,530
BJ:
Come on.

461
00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:33,800
Stay strong. Have fun.

462
00:16:33,846 --> 00:16:35,770
I mean, wow.

463
00:16:35,770 --> 00:16:37,106
Come on.

464
00:16:37,140 --> 00:16:40,566
So everyone in your life
is always this nuts.

465
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:42,473
Not always.
Sometimes they sleep.

466
00:16:43,466 --> 00:16:44,080
So...

467
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:47,960
BEN: Kate, I want to tell you
this feeling I'm hearing!

468
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:51,433
I'll be right back.
Ah-ah, Kate, he is a grown man.

469
00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:53,753
Yeah, I know, but it's really
dark in there and he's confused

470
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:54,913
and he's foggy,
and I should...

471
00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:57,066
You need to set
better boundaries.

472
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,760
I know how to set boundaries.

473
00:16:59,173 --> 00:17:00,600
BEN: Kate!
Really?

474
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,400
Kate...!

475
00:17:01,486 --> 00:17:02,980
This is what you want
your life like?

476
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,366
Sometimes it's a lot crazier,

477
00:17:04,373 --> 00:17:06,020
so you caught it on
a good night.

478
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,466
Don't worry.
Eventually, they'll get

479
00:17:07,473 --> 00:17:09,280
their lives together and leave
you alone a little bit.

480
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:14,240
I don't want them to
leave me alone... Will.

481
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,330
When Maddie's dad
ran out on me and ...

482
00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:18,353
my life was completely
falling apart,

483
00:17:18,366 --> 00:17:20,230
they were the only people
that were there for me.

484
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:22,606
They picked me up and
put me back together

485
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:25,033
and got me on
my feet and helped me

486
00:17:25,053 --> 00:17:28,206
believe that I could
move on from that.

487
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,893
'Cause I really didn't
think that I could.

488
00:17:29,906 --> 00:17:30,800
And I've done it.

489
00:17:30,806 --> 00:17:32,430
Yeah, and I think
that's awesome.

490
00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:35,006
Without them,
I wouldn't be who I am.

491
00:17:35,386 --> 00:17:36,253
I get that.

492
00:17:36,273 --> 00:17:37,633
Do you?
Yeah.

493
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:46,200
But if you and I are going
to keep doing this, I...

494
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:50,110
I ought to be totally
honest with you.

495
00:17:50,733 --> 00:17:54,120
I don't think I want
this much crazy in my life.

496
00:17:58,566 --> 00:18:01,390
Well, I'm glad you're
being honest with me.

497
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,330
Yeah.

498
00:18:08,330 --> 00:18:11,170
So where's that leave us?

499
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,990
BEN: Kate, I figured out
why the bats were after me.

500
00:18:16,313 --> 00:18:17,970
It's because I'm one of them!

501
00:18:17,970 --> 00:18:20,080
Right.

502
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,340
(Ben squeaking, screeching)

503
00:18:23,066 --> 00:18:25,500
You all right?
Yeah.

504
00:18:25,573 --> 00:18:27,980
I mean, who cares
if I never find love?

505
00:18:28,493 --> 00:18:30,653
I don't need love.
Of course you don't.

506
00:18:30,666 --> 00:18:32,693
You just need someone
to have sex with.

507
00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:33,340
Oh!

508
00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:34,990
BJ:
Look at that.

509
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:37,090
I know.
How cute is this dog?

510
00:18:37,090 --> 00:18:38,633
Hey! Hey, there!

511
00:18:38,646 --> 00:18:40,180
What's your name?
Come here.

512
00:18:40,180 --> 00:18:42,830
"Robert"? Well, hello, Robert. Hi.

513
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,180
Hello. TOMMY:
What are you wearing, huh?

514
00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:47,740
A tuxedo?
Are you a spy dude?

515
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,926
Excuse me.
I'm talking to a dog here.

516
00:18:49,946 --> 00:18:52,026
He's so cute. Is he yours?

517
00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:53,333
No, no.
I'd have put

518
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,800
him down years ago,
if he was mine.

519
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,880
What you going later, huh?
A prom? A wedding? Opera? Psst!

520
00:18:57,913 --> 00:18:58,500
You have a whole life
we don't know about, don't you?

521
00:18:58,506 --> 00:18:59,630
Tommy... Tommy!

522
00:18:59,633 --> 00:19:02,070
Ow!
Oh, my goodness!

523
00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:03,820
BJ, you could have kicked this dog.
What happened?

524
00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:05,810
Are you okay?
I'm fine. I...

525
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,380
I'm Tommy.

526
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:10,080
I'm Lila.

527
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,060
Hey, Lila.
Hi, Tommy.

528
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:13,560
You like dogs?

529
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:14,393
You have a dog?

530
00:19:14,426 --> 00:19:16,030
(both chuckle)

531
00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:18,240
Funny.
Yeah.

532
00:19:18,246 --> 00:19:19,230
Well, yeah.

533
00:19:22,166 --> 00:19:25,093
Hey,
you okay?

534
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,266
(voice breaks):
Yeah, yeah.

535
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:32,870
I think Will and I
just had our first real fight.

536
00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:34,680
About the money thing?

537
00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:37,390
Yeah...

538
00:19:37,666 --> 00:19:39,440
yeah,
about the money thing.

539
00:19:42,273 --> 00:19:45,940
What are you gonna do?

540
00:19:46,706 --> 00:19:47,340
I don't know.

541
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,750
I mean, you didn't
break up or anything...

542
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,730
(gentle laugh)

543
00:19:52,980 --> 00:19:54,340
Sorry.

544
00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:00,386
Wow, this is really high.

545
00:20:00,453 --> 00:20:02,580
This is not safe
for Maddie at all.

546
00:20:02,606 --> 00:20:04,410
No, it's really not.

547
00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:08,686
I mean, maybe if you got
like a, like a, like a railing

548
00:20:08,686 --> 00:20:10,273
or a harness or something.
(chuckles)

549
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,510
Yeah.
Or put it outside.

550
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,510
I don't think Maddie wanted
the loft bed as much as I did.

551
00:20:15,753 --> 00:20:20,200
And honestly, I mean, what kid
actually wants a live-work space?

552
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,990
I did.
I did so badly.

553
00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:23,880
I wanted a bunk bed.

554
00:20:23,906 --> 00:20:26,780
Really?
I... I did not know that.

555
00:20:26,780 --> 00:20:27,753
Yeah.
You didn't know that?

556
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,940
Yeah, of course I knew that,
dude. Oh.

557
00:20:30,220 --> 00:20:32,453
You begged like
a circus dog.

558
00:20:32,470 --> 00:20:32,966
(laughs)
I didn't beg.

559
00:20:32,973 --> 00:20:34,346
Yes, you did.
I did.

560
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,030
Like, every year.

561
00:20:36,030 --> 00:20:38,580
Why did you
want one so bad?

562
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,320
(both laughing)

563
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:45,966
(playful growling)

564
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,313
I don't know.

565
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:49,460
I just thought
it would be fun.

566
00:20:50,746 --> 00:20:52,260
Yeah, it would've.

567
00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:54,260
(chuckles)

568
00:20:54,260 --> 00:20:56,470
(wood creaking)

569
00:20:56,470 --> 00:20:59,120
Ben... what's...?

570
00:20:59,140 --> 00:21:00,266
BEN:
I'm sure it's fine.

571
00:21:00,270 --> 00:21:02,306
(crash)

572
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:04,120
Nope, that is not fine!

573
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,680
Ribbon wood...

574
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,306
mountain mahogany...

575
00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:13,320
coffeeberry...

576
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,450
Ah, bush chinquapin,
hey-nah-ha.

577
00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:24,890
Who knows tree names now, Dad?!

578
00:21:28,226 --> 00:21:29,240
This guy.

579
00:21:32,540 --> 00:21:34,006
What's up, sycamore?

580
00:21:35,906 --> 00:21:41,900
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