1
00:00:04,919 --> 00:00:06,036
Hey.
2
00:00:06,087 --> 00:00:07,254
I thought you were going
to sleep forever.
3
00:00:07,288 --> 00:00:11,424
[Sighs] Next time.
4
00:00:11,459 --> 00:00:12,843
- Are you headed out?
- Uh, yeah.
5
00:00:12,877 --> 00:00:14,294
I have a meeting with a web developer.
6
00:00:14,328 --> 00:00:17,380
Although, uh, something else
seems to be developing
7
00:00:17,431 --> 00:00:20,750
right now.
8
00:00:20,752 --> 00:00:23,837
[Gasps] Oh, God.
9
00:00:23,871 --> 00:00:26,206
Right now. I thought you
were going to kill me.
10
00:00:26,224 --> 00:00:28,258
Next time.
11
00:00:28,309 --> 00:00:30,543
Uh, so I don't have that meeting
for another 20 minutes.
12
00:00:30,561 --> 00:00:34,064
And he's ten minutes away.
So that leaves us with ten...
13
00:00:34,098 --> 00:00:36,516
Minutes.
14
00:00:36,550 --> 00:00:39,436
Come on, Whit.
Why don't we turn that frown...
15
00:00:39,487 --> 00:00:40,520
The other way.
16
00:00:40,554 --> 00:00:43,657
Okay.
Idiot, it's 9:00 A.M.
17
00:00:43,691 --> 00:00:45,742
You never do this in the morning.
18
00:00:45,776 --> 00:00:47,393
Come on.
Why don't we just, you know,
19
00:00:47,411 --> 00:00:48,895
bang one out, me and you?
20
00:00:48,913 --> 00:00:50,580
"Bang one out"?
21
00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:51,731
[Retches]
22
00:00:51,749 --> 00:00:53,033
- Okay.
- Come here.
23
00:00:53,067 --> 00:00:54,334
Okay, but you're
in your meeting clothes.
24
00:00:54,368 --> 00:00:55,835
You're going to have
to get all undressed.
25
00:00:55,870 --> 00:00:56,836
Okay.
Look, calm down.
26
00:00:56,871 --> 00:00:58,905
Nobody's getting undressed, okay?
27
00:00:58,923 --> 00:01:01,291
We could just sort of make our stuff
28
00:01:01,342 --> 00:01:03,460
available to each other.
29
00:01:03,511 --> 00:01:06,746
Men's pants are designed
for this exact thing.
30
00:01:06,764 --> 00:01:08,632
We just had sex last night.
31
00:01:08,683 --> 00:01:11,685
Did Howard stern have
a porn star on this morning?
32
00:01:11,719 --> 00:01:13,753
Look, come on, Whit.
I just, uh, want to,
33
00:01:13,771 --> 00:01:16,356
kind of finish
what we started, you know?
34
00:01:16,390 --> 00:01:19,759
Nine minutes.
35
00:01:19,777 --> 00:01:22,562
Okay.
We did finish.
36
00:01:22,596 --> 00:01:24,197
I believe I even announced it.
37
00:01:24,232 --> 00:01:27,450
Twice. Up top.
Mm.
38
00:01:27,485 --> 00:01:28,902
Yeah.
No, it was good.
39
00:01:28,936 --> 00:01:30,287
I just, you know, I wasn't
really talking about you.
40
00:01:30,321 --> 00:01:31,988
You were taken care of.
41
00:01:32,039 --> 00:01:33,323
[Chuckles]
42
00:01:33,374 --> 00:01:37,944
Oh, mm.
43
00:01:37,962 --> 00:01:39,713
Yes and no.
44
00:01:39,747 --> 00:01:42,666
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
45
00:01:46,921 --> 00:01:50,423
Did you fake it?
46
00:01:52,009 --> 00:01:52,976
What's up?
47
00:01:53,010 --> 00:01:56,263
[Gasps]
48
00:01:56,297 --> 00:01:58,348
Guys can do that?
49
00:01:58,399 --> 00:01:59,899
Totally.
50
00:01:59,934 --> 00:02:01,501
Uh, no.
51
00:02:01,535 --> 00:02:02,719
No.
52
00:02:02,753 --> 00:02:05,882
No, not with a girl as pretty as you.
53
00:02:06,341 --> 00:02:14,313
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
54
00:02:14,581 --> 00:02:16,383
I cannot believe you faked it.
55
00:02:16,417 --> 00:02:17,550
Well, no, look, that was the first time
56
00:02:17,584 --> 00:02:22,489
and last time ever with you,
Whit, I promise.
57
00:02:22,523 --> 00:02:25,275
Okay,
but why couldn't--
58
00:02:25,309 --> 00:02:26,559
I-I don't know, you know?
59
00:02:26,593 --> 00:02:27,727
It was just, like,
a combination of things.
60
00:02:27,761 --> 00:02:28,728
Like, I had one too many beers,
61
00:02:28,763 --> 00:02:29,929
and my mind was wandering.
62
00:02:29,947 --> 00:02:34,401
Okay.
Your mind was wandering?
63
00:02:34,435 --> 00:02:35,485
Where?
64
00:02:35,536 --> 00:02:40,490
Biel? Alba?
Jolie?
65
00:02:40,541 --> 00:02:42,492
Well, no, I mean,
if I was thinking of them,
66
00:02:42,543 --> 00:02:45,478
then we wouldn't be standing
here, having this conversation.
67
00:02:45,496 --> 00:02:49,165
Uh, uh, uh...
68
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,617
Okay.
69
00:02:50,651 --> 00:02:52,719
Then, what were you thinking about?
70
00:02:52,753 --> 00:02:54,788
[Sighs]
71
00:02:54,822 --> 00:02:56,373
Fantasy football.
72
00:02:59,093 --> 00:03:01,544
They have cheerleaders?
73
00:03:01,595 --> 00:03:03,129
No, but that's a really good idea.
74
00:03:03,163 --> 00:03:04,297
I'm going to get on that.
75
00:03:04,331 --> 00:03:06,383
I'll go, I'll--
Bye, bye-bye.
76
00:03:06,434 --> 00:03:08,184
- Alex?
- [Sighs]
77
00:03:08,219 --> 00:03:10,136
Look, it would just--
it was taking so long
78
00:03:10,170 --> 00:03:15,775
that I just--
I called it off.
79
00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:19,229
Okay, but you did it exactly
how you normally do it.
80
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,181
You can't just fake that.
81
00:03:22,199 --> 00:03:23,900
[Gasps] Ah!
82
00:03:23,951 --> 00:03:26,069
Oh, my God!
83
00:03:31,992 --> 00:03:35,662
Are you--
are you mad?
84
00:03:35,696 --> 00:03:39,082
I mean, my feelings are hurt.
85
00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:42,719
Both of them.
86
00:03:42,753 --> 00:03:45,055
You should not have told me that, okay?
87
00:03:45,089 --> 00:03:48,708
I would never tell you if I faked it.
88
00:03:48,726 --> 00:03:50,343
Well, Whit, it's so obvious
when you fake it.
89
00:03:50,377 --> 00:03:53,730
I mean, you're so lazy about it
that you call me "Al."
90
00:03:57,568 --> 00:03:58,685
Come on, Whit.
91
00:03:58,719 --> 00:04:00,070
No, okay?
There are just some things
92
00:04:00,104 --> 00:04:01,571
you should not tell me.
93
00:04:01,605 --> 00:04:03,055
Okay?
94
00:04:03,074 --> 00:04:04,223
If it's something dumb like that
that's just going
95
00:04:04,241 --> 00:04:06,693
to hurt my feelings,
please just lie to me.
96
00:04:06,727 --> 00:04:07,944
Oh, I know.
97
00:04:07,995 --> 00:04:11,030
I mean, I-I lie to you
about stuff all the time.
98
00:04:18,706 --> 00:04:19,989
What kind of stuff?
99
00:04:20,024 --> 00:04:21,341
Well, no, I mean, it's just like
100
00:04:21,375 --> 00:04:22,342
a figure of speech.
It's like,
101
00:04:22,376 --> 00:04:24,511
"I lie to you
all the time."
102
00:04:29,133 --> 00:04:32,519
I'll tell you one if you tell me one.
103
00:04:36,724 --> 00:04:40,143
Okay.
104
00:04:40,194 --> 00:04:41,361
All right.
105
00:04:41,395 --> 00:04:44,447
[Clears throat]
106
00:04:44,482 --> 00:04:46,483
I lie about knowing who Eli Manning is.
107
00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:49,869
I still think he's a rabbi.
108
00:04:49,904 --> 00:04:53,105
He won the super b--
All right, you know what?
109
00:04:53,124 --> 00:04:55,542
Fair enough.
110
00:04:55,576 --> 00:04:56,776
Okay, your turn.
111
00:04:56,794 --> 00:04:59,212
Um, okay. Uh...
112
00:04:59,246 --> 00:05:02,081
You know what?
I-I lie about lily.
113
00:05:02,115 --> 00:05:03,967
I think that she's totally pretty.
114
00:05:04,001 --> 00:05:05,885
She's the prettiest.
I thought it was weird
115
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:10,590
that you said you thought
of her like a little brother.
116
00:05:10,608 --> 00:05:14,377
All right.
There you have it.
117
00:05:14,411 --> 00:05:15,945
I empty out the cream in the creamer,
118
00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:17,263
and I replace it with skim milk.
119
00:05:17,281 --> 00:05:19,816
Sorry!
120
00:05:19,867 --> 00:05:22,202
And I pour out the skim milk,
and I replace it with cream.
121
00:05:22,236 --> 00:05:24,154
[Gasps]
122
00:05:27,842 --> 00:05:31,010
Is that why it tastes so delicious?
123
00:05:31,045 --> 00:05:33,713
Yeah, it's food.
124
00:05:33,747 --> 00:05:35,114
I mean, me doing that
125
00:05:35,132 --> 00:05:37,217
is the only reason
why you're still alive.
126
00:05:37,251 --> 00:05:39,252
[Giggles]
127
00:05:39,286 --> 00:05:41,638
It's so cool that we can do this.
128
00:05:41,672 --> 00:05:44,557
You know, it's fun in, like, a scary,
129
00:05:44,592 --> 00:05:47,927
"we might break up" kind of way.
[Laughs]
130
00:05:47,961 --> 00:05:49,562
All right, well, I've got to go.
131
00:05:49,597 --> 00:05:50,763
- I love you.
- Love you.
132
00:05:50,797 --> 00:05:52,682
I am off.
133
00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:54,317
- I hate that shirt.
- I hate all your shirts.
134
00:05:54,351 --> 00:05:57,654
God, that feels so good!
135
00:06:01,108 --> 00:06:02,492
Ha!
136
00:06:02,526 --> 00:06:04,694
[Chuckles]
137
00:06:04,745 --> 00:06:06,746
I act concerned
about your chronic big toe pain,
138
00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:11,084
but really, I think
it's all in your head.
139
00:06:11,118 --> 00:06:13,670
That time you tripped and fell
in the best buy parking lot?
140
00:06:13,704 --> 00:06:16,923
I fell out of love with you a little.
141
00:06:16,957 --> 00:06:18,458
That's not a lie.
Just hurtful.
142
00:06:18,492 --> 00:06:21,878
But, yeah.
143
00:06:21,929 --> 00:06:24,547
- We're the best.
- The best.
144
00:06:28,219 --> 00:06:29,835
How awesome's the new bartender?
145
00:06:29,853 --> 00:06:31,804
Yeah.
He'll do just fine.
146
00:06:31,838 --> 00:06:33,273
I mean, he looks strong
enough to carry me outside
147
00:06:33,307 --> 00:06:35,675
and put me in a cab.
148
00:06:35,693 --> 00:06:38,010
So R.J. is Alex's friend
from high school?
149
00:06:38,028 --> 00:06:39,512
Yeah, but that's not why I hired him.
150
00:06:39,530 --> 00:06:41,531
You'd be surprised how hard
it is to find a good bartender.
151
00:06:41,565 --> 00:06:43,199
One guy was late,
one guy never showed up,
152
00:06:43,234 --> 00:06:44,367
one guy never called back.
153
00:06:44,401 --> 00:06:46,819
Add a paralyzing fear of aging,
154
00:06:46,853 --> 00:06:50,373
and you know what it's like
to be a woman.
155
00:06:50,407 --> 00:06:52,525
So weird that there's
a bartender in Chicago
156
00:06:52,543 --> 00:06:55,378
that I don't know.
157
00:06:55,412 --> 00:06:58,498
That's probably because he works nights.
158
00:06:58,532 --> 00:07:03,386
A white wine for you
and a red wine for you.
159
00:07:03,420 --> 00:07:07,173
It's important to have a balanced diet.
160
00:07:07,207 --> 00:07:08,708
So, uh, where are you from?
161
00:07:08,726 --> 00:07:10,760
I'm from outside Atlanta.
Please don't say Hotlanta.
162
00:07:10,811 --> 00:07:14,681
Oh, what a great--
Do you have a girlfriend?
163
00:07:14,715 --> 00:07:17,433
I'm out there.
I'm looking.
164
00:07:17,484 --> 00:07:19,435
Trying to be found.
165
00:07:19,486 --> 00:07:20,853
But I don't want to settle
for some desperate girl
166
00:07:20,887 --> 00:07:25,325
who doesn't know who she is.
167
00:07:25,359 --> 00:07:29,895
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Don't worry, I do.
168
00:07:29,913 --> 00:07:30,947
Hey, mark.
169
00:07:30,998 --> 00:07:32,031
Can I make a suggestion real quick?
170
00:07:32,065 --> 00:07:33,199
Sure.
171
00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:36,068
What's up with this clock over here?
172
00:07:36,086 --> 00:07:40,239
Oh, God.
Is it racist?
173
00:07:40,257 --> 00:07:43,009
No, but I think you might be.
174
00:07:43,043 --> 00:07:44,961
Look, first thing I learned
about the bar business,
175
00:07:45,012 --> 00:07:46,462
no clocks.
176
00:07:46,513 --> 00:07:48,765
Yeah, but what if someone's
sitting here drinking,
177
00:07:48,799 --> 00:07:51,100
they've got
to get home to their f--
178
00:07:51,135 --> 00:07:54,020
Ohh.
179
00:07:54,054 --> 00:07:56,105
But what if their wife needs them
180
00:07:56,140 --> 00:08:00,276
to be somewhere,
and--
181
00:08:00,311 --> 00:08:02,729
Ohh.
182
00:08:05,199 --> 00:08:06,149
R.J.
183
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,567
My man, Alex Miller.
184
00:08:07,601 --> 00:08:08,601
Hey, man.
How ya been?
185
00:08:08,619 --> 00:08:10,870
God, it's been so long.
186
00:08:10,904 --> 00:08:12,622
Look at you.
You're still in such good shape,
187
00:08:12,656 --> 00:08:14,374
huh?
188
00:08:14,408 --> 00:08:15,375
Well, that was weird.
189
00:08:15,409 --> 00:08:18,127
Um, Whitney,
this is R.J.
190
00:08:18,162 --> 00:08:19,245
R.J., this is my girl,
Whitney.
191
00:08:19,279 --> 00:08:20,630
- Hi.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
192
00:08:20,664 --> 00:08:24,617
Look at you, Alex.
Finally dating a white girl.
193
00:08:24,635 --> 00:08:26,719
- Am I?
- [Laughs]
194
00:08:26,754 --> 00:08:27,920
You know, I have heard
so much about you.
195
00:08:27,954 --> 00:08:29,505
Alex is always bragging
about how you guys
196
00:08:29,556 --> 00:08:30,757
played basketball together.
197
00:08:30,791 --> 00:08:32,725
You know, like, when he took
the team to state.
198
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,562
Well, yeah.
He literally took us.
199
00:08:36,597 --> 00:08:39,098
He drove the bus.
200
00:08:39,132 --> 00:08:40,966
Yeah, that's another one
of those little lies
201
00:08:40,984 --> 00:08:42,852
we told each other.
202
00:08:42,903 --> 00:08:44,070
And here's another one for you.
203
00:08:44,104 --> 00:08:47,023
I never believed you in the first place.
204
00:08:47,074 --> 00:08:48,624
See what we did there?
205
00:08:48,659 --> 00:08:50,576
Made everyone uncomfortable
'cause you're about to fight?
206
00:08:50,611 --> 00:08:52,478
No, just then we actually avoided
207
00:08:52,496 --> 00:08:54,447
having a fight
because we decided to come clean
208
00:08:54,481 --> 00:08:56,582
about all the stupid,
little lies we tell each other.
209
00:08:56,617 --> 00:08:58,000
Yeah.
210
00:08:58,035 --> 00:08:59,535
Turns out, when you tell
the truth to somebody
211
00:08:59,586 --> 00:09:02,121
that you're in a relationship
with, it's a good thing.
212
00:09:02,155 --> 00:09:03,489
- Tweet it.
- Blog it.
213
00:09:03,507 --> 00:09:06,008
Stop it.
214
00:09:06,043 --> 00:09:07,009
Wait, you guys didn't tell each other
215
00:09:07,044 --> 00:09:08,160
everything everything, did you?
216
00:09:08,178 --> 00:09:09,295
- Everything.
- Cleared the decks.
217
00:09:09,329 --> 00:09:10,763
- Clean slate.
- Square one.
218
00:09:10,798 --> 00:09:12,548
Whit, did you tell him that
the tennis bracelet he got you
219
00:09:12,599 --> 00:09:13,966
didn't break, you just didn't like it?
220
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,218
Yep.
221
00:09:15,269 --> 00:09:16,269
Did you tell her
that the bracelet was a fake?
222
00:09:16,303 --> 00:09:17,470
Yep.
223
00:09:17,504 --> 00:09:18,938
Oh, what'd you say when she told you
224
00:09:18,972 --> 00:09:22,174
she lied about being in a coma?
225
00:09:25,446 --> 00:09:28,514
Wh-what?
226
00:09:28,532 --> 00:09:30,166
You were never in a coma?
227
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,652
Oh, yes, you were.
228
00:09:32,686 --> 00:09:37,957
I mean, that coma got you good.
229
00:09:37,991 --> 00:09:42,628
Wh-Whit, you lied about being in a coma?
230
00:09:42,663 --> 00:09:46,198
Yes, one of those little,
white lies we love so much.
231
00:09:46,216 --> 00:09:47,300
Yeah.
[Chuckles]
232
00:09:47,334 --> 00:09:51,788
- Whit.
- Hi, baby.
233
00:09:51,822 --> 00:09:53,706
Could you guys excuse us for a second?
234
00:09:53,724 --> 00:09:56,542
I'd like to talk to Whitney alone.
235
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:59,479
Sure.
236
00:09:59,513 --> 00:10:01,097
R.J., you want to help me
move the bar outside,
237
00:10:01,148 --> 00:10:04,684
so these two can have a moment?
238
00:10:04,718 --> 00:10:06,018
All right.
You know what?
239
00:10:06,052 --> 00:10:09,054
I'm going to go outside
and get some fresh air, huh?
240
00:10:09,072 --> 00:10:11,223
I didn't know--
that was, like,
241
00:10:11,241 --> 00:10:12,775
the first lie you told him.
242
00:10:12,826 --> 00:10:16,829
Okay, we're not going
in chronological order.
243
00:10:16,864 --> 00:10:17,897
Ugh!
244
00:10:25,648 --> 00:10:26,948
- Alex.
- Whit,
245
00:10:26,982 --> 00:10:29,418
why would you lie
and say that you were in a coma?
246
00:10:29,452 --> 00:10:33,255
[Scoffs]
247
00:10:33,289 --> 00:10:37,359
I cannot believe
that you faked it last night.
248
00:10:37,393 --> 00:10:41,830
I mean, that is just starting
to sink in.
249
00:10:41,848 --> 00:10:44,049
Whit, seriously.
250
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:46,852
Fine.
I will let you bang one out.
251
00:10:46,886 --> 00:10:49,304
One.
252
00:10:49,338 --> 00:10:54,342
Whit.
The coma.Now.
253
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,729
Look, when I told you that,
we'd just spent
254
00:10:57,780 --> 00:10:59,698
two days straight together, okay?
255
00:10:59,732 --> 00:11:03,702
And I just--I needed some time.
Some space.
256
00:11:03,736 --> 00:11:07,039
Some ice.
257
00:11:07,073 --> 00:11:08,790
Have you seen my hair extensions?
258
00:11:08,825 --> 00:11:11,526
I think I swallowed them.
259
00:11:11,544 --> 00:11:13,145
So I made reservations at Gino's.
260
00:11:13,179 --> 00:11:14,296
I'll pick you up
tonight at 8:00.
261
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:15,697
Oh, uh,
262
00:11:15,715 --> 00:11:17,582
you forgot the part where you ask me.
263
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:18,867
Yeah, I'm learning
that giving you a choice
264
00:11:18,901 --> 00:11:20,469
in the matter doesn't really
work with you.
265
00:11:20,503 --> 00:11:22,137
Kind of just got to make you do things.
266
00:11:22,171 --> 00:11:23,305
Uh, except for sex.
267
00:11:23,339 --> 00:11:25,206
That's really easy to get you to do.
268
00:11:25,224 --> 00:11:26,808
Okay, I, um, I can't tonight.
269
00:11:26,843 --> 00:11:27,809
I just--
I have a thing.
270
00:11:27,844 --> 00:11:29,511
Oh.
So, uh, cancel it.
271
00:11:29,545 --> 00:11:31,513
Uh, it's pretty set in stone.
272
00:11:31,547 --> 00:11:32,848
So come over after.
273
00:11:32,882 --> 00:11:34,483
Um, you know, I can't.
274
00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:36,518
I'm still going to be doing
the thing that I can't not do.
275
00:11:36,552 --> 00:11:38,904
It just takes a while to do.
276
00:11:38,938 --> 00:11:39,905
You know, Whit, if you're not into this,
277
00:11:39,939 --> 00:11:41,406
you could just tell me.
278
00:11:41,441 --> 00:11:43,575
I'd hate to think that I wasted
the last two days of my life
279
00:11:43,609 --> 00:11:45,894
in a relationship
that isn't going anywhere.
280
00:11:45,912 --> 00:11:48,080
Okay.
I am totally into it.
281
00:11:48,114 --> 00:11:50,415
I mean, ask your neighbors.
282
00:11:50,450 --> 00:11:51,833
Okay.
Well, I mean,
283
00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:53,535
I just think you're being
kind of shady, you know?
284
00:11:53,569 --> 00:11:55,287
Okay.
It's just, um,
285
00:11:55,338 --> 00:11:57,906
it's just, it's kind of embarrassing.
286
00:11:57,924 --> 00:11:59,875
It's like a--
like a medical thing.
287
00:11:59,909 --> 00:12:02,043
I just have to get
something checked out.
288
00:12:02,077 --> 00:12:03,411
Well, what are you getting tested for?
289
00:12:03,429 --> 00:12:06,515
Oh, my God.
I told you four times.
290
00:12:06,549 --> 00:12:08,884
No, you didn't.
What happened?
291
00:12:08,918 --> 00:12:10,552
Nothing.
It's nothing.
292
00:12:10,586 --> 00:12:12,888
I-I was just, um,
I was in a...
293
00:12:12,922 --> 00:12:16,558
A, um, a coma.
294
00:12:16,592 --> 00:12:18,092
Whit, you were in a coma?
295
00:12:18,111 --> 00:12:20,729
What--
for how long?
296
00:12:20,763 --> 00:12:23,097
Um, five.
297
00:12:23,116 --> 00:12:24,816
Years?
298
00:12:24,867 --> 00:12:26,401
No.
Days.
299
00:12:26,435 --> 00:12:28,487
It was, it was,
you know, um--
300
00:12:28,538 --> 00:12:30,071
but, you know, it felt like years.
301
00:12:30,105 --> 00:12:31,823
You know, time really does fly
302
00:12:31,874 --> 00:12:34,860
when you're in a coma.
303
00:12:34,894 --> 00:12:36,294
How did you go into a coma?
304
00:12:36,329 --> 00:12:41,316
Uh, it was not easy.
305
00:12:41,350 --> 00:12:43,585
Um, but you know, I don't really
like to talk about it, so...
306
00:12:43,619 --> 00:12:45,554
Oh, God.
Well, I feel terrible.
307
00:12:45,588 --> 00:12:47,722
I mean, I was pulling your hair
for, like, an hour last night.
308
00:12:47,757 --> 00:12:49,007
Yeah, that was weird.
309
00:12:49,058 --> 00:12:51,760
Um, but, you know, I, uh, it's fine.
310
00:12:51,794 --> 00:12:53,628
It was actually a very small coma.
311
00:12:53,663 --> 00:12:57,065
It's, um, called a comette.
312
00:12:57,099 --> 00:12:59,734
So, um, but I will call you
when I get back.
313
00:12:59,769 --> 00:13:01,853
Okay, well, how long are you gone?
314
00:13:01,904 --> 00:13:03,805
Um, this weekend is my checkup.
315
00:13:03,823 --> 00:13:05,023
You know, like, every five years,
316
00:13:05,074 --> 00:13:06,474
I just have to get,
like, an X-ray.
317
00:13:06,492 --> 00:13:07,475
An MRI?
318
00:13:07,493 --> 00:13:08,994
Yes.
319
00:13:09,028 --> 00:13:12,146
It's almost like you know
more about comas than I do.
320
00:13:12,165 --> 00:13:13,949
Uh, where do you go?
321
00:13:13,983 --> 00:13:16,535
Um, uh, Detroit.
322
00:13:16,586 --> 00:13:18,170
Detroit?
323
00:13:18,204 --> 00:13:19,371
Why do you have to go
all the way out there?
324
00:13:19,422 --> 00:13:21,155
You can't get your brain
checked in Chicago?
325
00:13:21,174 --> 00:13:22,874
No, it's ridiculous.
326
00:13:22,925 --> 00:13:25,260
It's just that Detroit is
the best place to go for comas,
327
00:13:25,294 --> 00:13:26,878
but for some reason,
people only want to focus
328
00:13:26,929 --> 00:13:28,463
on the car thing.
329
00:13:28,497 --> 00:13:30,348
Okay.
I'll see you when I get back.
330
00:13:30,383 --> 00:13:32,434
Come here, come here.
Hey, poor thing.
331
00:13:32,468 --> 00:13:35,303
Oh, careful, you're going
to reactivate it.
332
00:13:37,190 --> 00:13:39,524
You know what,
I, um, forgot my underwear.
333
00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:40,525
Oh, you weren't wearing any.
334
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:45,730
Oh.
Got that coma brain.
335
00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:48,533
- That was such a stupid lie.
- I know.
336
00:13:48,568 --> 00:13:52,988
I mean, only an idiot
would believe that.
337
00:13:53,022 --> 00:13:54,039
But why a coma?
338
00:13:54,073 --> 00:13:55,407
I don't know.
339
00:13:55,458 --> 00:13:57,292
Mono seemed like
too big of a commitment,
340
00:13:57,326 --> 00:14:01,463
and hep C hadn't come out yet.
341
00:14:01,497 --> 00:14:03,215
But you just kept lying about it.
342
00:14:03,249 --> 00:14:06,835
Like, every time I'd bring
it up, you'd just go with it.
343
00:14:06,869 --> 00:14:08,720
You had four years to tell me the truth.
344
00:14:08,754 --> 00:14:10,371
Why didn't you?
345
00:14:10,389 --> 00:14:12,140
Because, what kind of insane person lies
346
00:14:12,174 --> 00:14:15,911
about being in a coma?
347
00:14:15,945 --> 00:14:19,264
Yeah.
348
00:14:19,315 --> 00:14:20,765
Well, it's going to take a little while
349
00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:25,320
for me to get used to the fact
that you were never in a coma.
350
00:14:25,354 --> 00:14:27,055
How come?
351
00:14:27,073 --> 00:14:31,576
Because it seemed to explain
a lot of things about you.
352
00:14:31,611 --> 00:14:35,730
Like why you're so loud.
353
00:14:35,748 --> 00:14:39,451
You can't walk in a straight line.
354
00:14:39,485 --> 00:14:41,686
I do veer.
355
00:14:41,721 --> 00:14:44,589
I mean, something must have
happened to you, right?
356
00:14:44,624 --> 00:14:47,008
You guys.
I am so sorry.
357
00:14:47,043 --> 00:14:48,743
I just assumed you knew about the coma
358
00:14:48,761 --> 00:14:50,762
since that's why you lied about Kevin.
359
00:14:54,622 --> 00:14:56,668
Well, who's Kevin?
360
00:14:56,702 --> 00:14:58,937
[Squeals]
361
00:15:00,930 --> 00:15:02,412
So we're good?
362
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:04,489
Wait, who's Kevin?
363
00:15:04,609 --> 00:15:07,969
Oh, my God.
You're, like, obsessed with him.
364
00:15:08,749 --> 00:15:10,205
What's going on out there?
365
00:15:10,325 --> 00:15:11,951
Who's winning?
366
00:15:11,986 --> 00:15:15,054
Don't know.
Couldn't find them.
367
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:16,756
Well, I knew this was going
to be a disaster.
368
00:15:16,774 --> 00:15:18,358
They were being honest with each other.
369
00:15:18,392 --> 00:15:19,976
Things are bound to go south.
370
00:15:20,027 --> 00:15:21,311
I don't know.
Me, personally?
371
00:15:21,345 --> 00:15:23,062
I want to hear the truth no matter what.
372
00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:25,531
I'm a grown man.
I can take it.
373
00:15:25,566 --> 00:15:27,933
The bar doesn't really
offer health insurance.
374
00:15:27,951 --> 00:15:31,738
So...be careful.
375
00:15:31,772 --> 00:15:33,156
Okay, fair enough.
376
00:15:33,207 --> 00:15:34,440
I don't really like your shirt.
377
00:15:34,458 --> 00:15:37,293
You look like an alcoholic father.
378
00:15:37,328 --> 00:15:39,912
My freshman year in college,
I told a guy I was pregnant,
379
00:15:39,946 --> 00:15:41,881
so he wouldn't leave me.
380
00:15:41,915 --> 00:15:43,466
But then I realized I couldn't drink,
381
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,752
so I gave it up for adoption.
382
00:15:45,786 --> 00:15:50,139
Back off, bro.
She's mine.
383
00:15:50,174 --> 00:15:51,924
Whit, who is Kevin?
384
00:15:51,958 --> 00:15:54,110
And do not lie to me.
385
00:15:58,816 --> 00:16:01,250
Do you remember that guy
that you saw me out with
386
00:16:01,285 --> 00:16:03,569
the night after we met?
387
00:16:03,604 --> 00:16:07,824
- Yeah.
- [Sighs]
388
00:16:07,858 --> 00:16:12,662
We had been together
for a year and a half.
389
00:16:12,696 --> 00:16:13,780
A year and a half?
390
00:16:13,814 --> 00:16:17,650
So he was like your serious boyfriend?
391
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:18,818
Yeah.
392
00:16:18,836 --> 00:16:20,253
So those two nights you spent with me,
393
00:16:20,287 --> 00:16:22,372
you were in a relationship.
394
00:16:22,423 --> 00:16:24,340
I feel terrible about it, okay?
395
00:16:24,375 --> 00:16:27,860
I-I-I didn't--
[Sighs] I'm such an idiot.
396
00:16:27,895 --> 00:16:29,212
Um, okay, look.
397
00:16:29,263 --> 00:16:32,048
You and I had met, and it just,
it was moving really fast,
398
00:16:32,099 --> 00:16:33,683
and I-I didn't know
what to do.
399
00:16:33,717 --> 00:16:37,053
All right, so you took
two days to break up with him?
400
00:16:37,104 --> 00:16:39,272
Well, okay.
We were supposed to go
401
00:16:39,306 --> 00:16:41,006
to a sister's wedding in Detroit.
402
00:16:41,024 --> 00:16:43,810
I did not lie about that.
403
00:16:43,844 --> 00:16:46,345
All right, good because that's
the part that really stung.
404
00:16:46,363 --> 00:16:47,947
I'm sorry, okay?
405
00:16:47,981 --> 00:16:50,683
I just--
I did not handle it well.
406
00:16:50,701 --> 00:16:53,619
And I, um, I just panicked
in the moment.
407
00:16:53,654 --> 00:16:56,322
Yeah, but you had this whole
elaborate story made up,
408
00:16:56,356 --> 00:16:58,991
just, like, with doctors
in Detroit and MRls--
409
00:16:59,025 --> 00:17:00,025
Okay, no.
You said MRI.
410
00:17:00,043 --> 00:17:02,662
I said X-ray.
Okay?
411
00:17:02,696 --> 00:17:05,248
And--and I just wanted to say
coma and get out of there.
412
00:17:05,299 --> 00:17:06,332
All right?
But you just--
413
00:17:06,366 --> 00:17:07,633
you kept interrogating me about it.
414
00:17:07,668 --> 00:17:09,034
Yeah, it's called being
concerned, Whitney.
415
00:17:09,052 --> 00:17:12,805
Which I had never
experienced before, Alex.
416
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:16,008
I was scared, okay?
417
00:17:16,043 --> 00:17:17,810
Of me?
418
00:17:17,845 --> 00:17:21,063
I don't know.
I just...
419
00:17:21,098 --> 00:17:24,517
I had never been with someone
who treated me well,
420
00:17:24,551 --> 00:17:27,052
and I didn't know how to handle,
421
00:17:27,070 --> 00:17:29,605
like, how much you cared about me.
422
00:17:29,656 --> 00:17:31,824
You know, I just...
423
00:17:31,859 --> 00:17:35,812
All I knew was that I couldn't lose you.
424
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,613
All right, so you
cheated on him with me?
425
00:17:37,664 --> 00:17:39,282
That's how we started this relationship,
426
00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:40,867
on that foot.
427
00:17:40,901 --> 00:17:42,067
You know, you wouldn't have
even said anything about it
428
00:17:42,085 --> 00:17:43,870
if lily didn't come out here.
429
00:17:43,904 --> 00:17:46,372
Okay.
430
00:17:46,406 --> 00:17:47,757
I'm sorry.
431
00:17:47,791 --> 00:17:49,792
- Okay--
- Uh-huh.
432
00:17:53,413 --> 00:17:54,597
[Sighs]
433
00:17:54,631 --> 00:17:56,766
[Door shuts]
434
00:18:08,111 --> 00:18:11,113
Here's your jacket.
435
00:18:11,148 --> 00:18:12,982
You're freezing.
436
00:18:22,326 --> 00:18:24,994
I suck too.
Uh...
437
00:18:25,045 --> 00:18:26,111
I went out with another girl
438
00:18:26,129 --> 00:18:29,131
the weekend that you were in Detroit.
439
00:18:29,166 --> 00:18:31,000
You were hanging out with some slut
440
00:18:31,051 --> 00:18:34,453
while I was getting an MRI?
441
00:18:34,471 --> 00:18:36,138
You weren't even really getting an MRI.
442
00:18:36,173 --> 00:18:38,441
You thought I was.
443
00:18:38,475 --> 00:18:41,644
I-I didn't--
I didn't know
444
00:18:41,678 --> 00:18:45,348
if I was ever going
to hear from you again.
445
00:18:45,399 --> 00:18:47,750
[Exasperated sigh]
446
00:19:04,701 --> 00:19:08,671
So when we first met, I had a boyfriend,
447
00:19:08,705 --> 00:19:10,690
and you went out with some girl
448
00:19:10,724 --> 00:19:12,425
when you thought I was undergoing
449
00:19:12,459 --> 00:19:15,962
a life-threatening
medical procedure?
450
00:19:19,165 --> 00:19:21,801
Yeah.
451
00:19:21,835 --> 00:19:24,670
We're disgusting.
452
00:19:24,688 --> 00:19:25,671
Monsters.
453
00:19:25,689 --> 00:19:26,956
- Pigs.
- You make me sick.
454
00:19:26,990 --> 00:19:28,007
- Me too.
- How can I ever
455
00:19:28,025 --> 00:19:31,961
- trust you again?
- You can't.
456
00:19:31,995 --> 00:19:35,681
All right, so, uh...
457
00:19:35,699 --> 00:19:38,784
that's all the lies, huh?
458
00:19:38,819 --> 00:19:43,022
We're done?
459
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,073
Not even close.
460
00:19:44,124 --> 00:19:49,245
Me neither.
461
00:19:49,296 --> 00:19:54,000
From now on, if there
is something that is, like,
462
00:19:54,034 --> 00:19:57,470
only gonna just hurt
our feelings, let's just...
463
00:19:57,504 --> 00:20:01,223
Let's just not tell each other.
464
00:20:01,258 --> 00:20:06,646
Okay, but I got a good one.
465
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,981
Fine.
What is it?
466
00:20:09,016 --> 00:20:10,433
Those hair extensions
that you took home the night
467
00:20:10,484 --> 00:20:11,984
that we were together,
they were not yours.
468
00:20:12,019 --> 00:20:14,937
Aah!
469
00:20:14,988 --> 00:20:17,757
[Laughs]
470
00:20:17,791 --> 00:20:19,992
I have a good one for you too.
471
00:20:20,027 --> 00:20:21,027
What?
472
00:20:21,061 --> 00:20:24,196
Ugh.
473
00:20:24,231 --> 00:20:27,967
I-I don't love you.
474
00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:31,203
Yeah, uh-huh?
475
00:20:31,238 --> 00:20:34,540
Well, I don't like your face.
476
00:20:34,574 --> 00:20:38,260
And, um, I don't love you too.
477
00:20:43,550 --> 00:20:46,251
- Want to go inside?
- Well, let's just go home.
478
00:20:46,269 --> 00:20:47,553
It'll be just for, like, a minute.
479
00:20:47,587 --> 00:20:49,639
- Why?
- This isn't my jacket.
480
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:59,154
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
481
00:21:00,668 --> 00:21:01,950
That was a great night, right?
482
00:21:01,978 --> 00:21:05,236
Good tips, good people.
We broke up that fight.
483
00:21:05,268 --> 00:21:06,717
- Yeah, we did.
- Yeah, we did.
484
00:21:06,719 --> 00:21:07,935
You're pretty quick with your hands too.
485
00:21:07,937 --> 00:21:10,020
What about you?
Busting out the full Nelson.
486
00:21:10,022 --> 00:21:12,823
I had to, man.
Those girls were strong.
487
00:21:12,825 --> 00:21:13,824
- Good first day?
- Yeah.
488
00:21:13,826 --> 00:21:14,825
See you tomorrow?
489
00:21:14,827 --> 00:21:15,892
Yeah. Oh, no.
490
00:21:15,894 --> 00:21:16,910
What do I do?
What do we do?
491
00:21:16,912 --> 00:21:19,947
Bust--blowing it up?
Uh, tickles?
492
00:21:19,949 --> 00:21:21,365
P-pound it out?
493
00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:23,000
Let's just--
we'll just do this.
494
00:21:23,002 --> 00:21:24,952
Okay.
495
00:21:24,954 --> 00:21:26,120
I'm so glad that's over with.
496
00:21:26,122 --> 00:21:28,172
I've been worrying about that all day.