1
00:00:03,886 --> 00:00:07,939
Is anyone else troubled by
the Spider-Man theme song?
2
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,108
Why would it trouble you?
3
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,427
It's, like, your third favorite
cartoon theme song.
4
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,079
It is, right behind
5
00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:17,115
♪ Do do-do do-do,
Inspector Gadget... ♪
6
00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:21,236
...and ♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪
7
00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:22,654
♪ Heroes in a half-shell
8
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:25,173
♪ Turtle power!
9
00:00:25,175 --> 00:00:28,009
However, the Spider-Man lyrics
posit that
10
00:00:28,011 --> 00:00:31,329
"Spider-Man, Spider-Man
does whatever a spider can."
11
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:32,714
Yeah, so?
12
00:00:32,716 --> 00:00:34,833
I can think of many things
Spider-Man can't do
13
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,535
that a spider can.
14
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,004
One: crawl in your ear and die.
15
00:00:40,056 --> 00:00:42,958
Two: legally leave Guatemala
without a passport.
16
00:00:43,926 --> 00:00:46,311
Three: have sex with a spider.
17
00:00:47,597 --> 00:00:48,814
Can we change the subject?
18
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,683
Spiders give me
the jeebie-jeebies.
19
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:54,486
It's "heebie-jeebies."
20
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:57,689
I know, but that sounds
anti-Semitic.
21
00:00:58,807 --> 00:01:00,025
Anyway, I was thinking
22
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:02,110
we could have a little
film festival tonight.
23
00:01:02,112 --> 00:01:05,113
The theme: movies that killed
their franchises.
24
00:01:05,115 --> 00:01:06,381
Oh.
25
00:01:06,383 --> 00:01:09,918
Like Jaws 4, Indiana Jones 4,
Daredevil 1.
26
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:15,590
Miss Congeniality 2:
Armed and Fabulous.
27
00:01:15,592 --> 00:01:17,926
I mean, you know a movie's bad
28
00:01:17,928 --> 00:01:20,629
when my homegirl Sandy B.
can't save it.
29
00:01:20,631 --> 00:01:23,715
Penny's working tonight;
I'm in.
30
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,534
Not me.
I'm having dinner
31
00:01:25,536 --> 00:01:27,335
with Bernadette and her parents.
32
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,387
Fun. We know how much
you love that.
33
00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:30,355
It's torture.
34
00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:31,857
Especially with her dad.
35
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:33,358
We have nothing in common.
36
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,177
You know what I like to do
when I'm forced to speak
37
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:39,147
with those beneath my
intellectual station?
38
00:01:39,149 --> 00:01:41,316
I bring up an
interesting topic,
39
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:45,620
like the difference between
Spider-Man and spiders.
40
00:01:47,022 --> 00:01:48,073
Thanks, Sheldon.
41
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,708
I'll try that
with my father-in-law.
42
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:50,959
No, you can't
use that one.
43
00:01:50,961 --> 00:01:51,960
That's mine.
44
00:01:51,962 --> 00:01:53,662
Uh, try this one
for an ice-breaker.
45
00:01:53,664 --> 00:01:56,665
Uh, despite popular
lore, there is no place
46
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:59,367
in the continental United
States, Alaska or Hawaii
47
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:02,370
from which one can dig straight
through the center of the earth
48
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,871
and come up in China.
49
00:02:05,675 --> 00:02:07,392
Great, thank you.
50
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:09,144
Actually, you can't
have that one either.
51
00:02:09,146 --> 00:02:10,478
It's too good. Sorry.
52
00:02:11,063 --> 00:02:12,047
What about you, Sheldon?
53
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,231
Do you have any plans tonight?
54
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,900
Sadly, yes.
55
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:17,285
Amy's taking me
to a memorial service.
56
00:02:17,287 --> 00:02:19,004
It's for one of
her colleagues
57
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:22,407
who is of Asian descent, so
my planned conversational gambit
58
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,910
is to casually remark
that no matter how deep
59
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:28,947
they dig his grave, he'll never
make his way back to China.
60
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,234
That should lighten the mood.
61
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:34,302
What can I say?
62
00:02:34,304 --> 00:02:36,338
I put the "fun" in funeral.
63
00:02:37,406 --> 00:02:40,959
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
64
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:44,296
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
65
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:45,931
♪ The Earth began to cool
66
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:48,466
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
67
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:51,152
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
68
00:02:51,154 --> 00:02:53,805
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
69
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,724
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
70
00:02:55,726 --> 00:02:56,726
♪ Bang! ♪
71
00:02:56,727 --> 00:03:00,227
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x10 ♪
The Fish Guts Displacement
Original Air Date on Decxember 6, 2012
72
00:03:00,228 --> 00:03:03,828
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
73
00:03:03,829 --> 00:03:06,819
Amy. Amy.
74
00:03:06,828 --> 00:03:09,378
Oh, right, funeral.
75
00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:11,214
Amy.
76
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,884
Hello, Sheldon.
77
00:03:14,886 --> 00:03:17,336
I'm not allowed to wear
my Silver Surfer neck tie,
78
00:03:17,338 --> 00:03:20,022
but you can wear a bathrobe?
79
00:03:20,024 --> 00:03:22,358
I think I'm too sick
to go to the funeral.
80
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:23,843
You're sick?
81
00:03:23,845 --> 00:03:25,311
You poor kid.
82
00:03:25,313 --> 00:03:26,529
Well, see ya.
83
00:03:28,031 --> 00:03:30,483
Sheldon, aren't you
gonna take care of me?
84
00:03:30,485 --> 00:03:31,567
Me?
85
00:03:31,569 --> 00:03:34,403
No. No, I'm not
that kind of doctor.
86
00:03:34,405 --> 00:03:37,373
But our relationship agreement
clearly states
87
00:03:37,375 --> 00:03:40,526
that when one of us is sick, the
other must take care of them.
88
00:03:40,528 --> 00:03:42,879
Oh, I see the
confusion.
89
00:03:42,881 --> 00:03:45,665
No, the intent
behind that clause
90
00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:50,052
was to force you to take
care of me when I'm ill.
91
00:03:50,054 --> 00:03:52,805
When you're feeling better,
you'll think that's funny.
92
00:03:56,677 --> 00:03:58,594
Never mind. Good night, Sheldon.
93
00:04:08,689 --> 00:04:12,558
Amy. Amy. Amy.
94
00:04:14,561 --> 00:04:15,912
I made a commitment in writing
95
00:04:15,914 --> 00:04:17,997
to comfort you
in times like this.
96
00:04:17,999 --> 00:04:19,916
Additionally, you are
my girlfriend,
97
00:04:19,918 --> 00:04:22,001
and I care about
your well-being.
98
00:04:23,837 --> 00:04:25,454
Thank you, Sheldon.
99
00:04:25,456 --> 00:04:26,622
You're welcome.
100
00:04:26,624 --> 00:04:28,257
Now let's get this over with.
101
00:04:41,188 --> 00:04:43,222
So, how have
you been?
102
00:04:43,224 --> 00:04:45,041
Fine.
103
00:04:45,043 --> 00:04:47,226
Good.
104
00:04:47,228 --> 00:04:49,445
Fine is good.
105
00:04:58,071 --> 00:04:59,572
How you liking retirement?
106
00:04:59,574 --> 00:05:01,941
It's fine.
107
00:05:03,777 --> 00:05:05,110
I'm sensing a theme.
108
00:05:10,517 --> 00:05:15,555
You ever really think about
the Spider-Man theme song?
109
00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:19,525
How's that dinner coming?
110
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,477
I just put it in.
It's gonna be a while.
111
00:05:21,479 --> 00:05:22,962
I like rare chicken.
112
00:05:22,964 --> 00:05:24,981
Let's do this.
113
00:05:24,983 --> 00:05:26,966
You could die.
114
00:05:30,938 --> 00:05:32,939
Death by chicken.
115
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:36,492
That's a pretty "fowl" way
to go.
116
00:05:41,365 --> 00:05:43,332
Here's another
beer, honey.
117
00:05:43,334 --> 00:05:45,150
Thank you.
118
00:05:45,152 --> 00:05:48,821
So, Mrs. Rostenkowski, you took
that trip to the Grand Canyon.
119
00:05:48,823 --> 00:05:49,989
How was it?
120
00:05:49,991 --> 00:05:53,659
It was good.
121
00:05:57,014 --> 00:05:59,849
Had no idea
you were the chatty one.
122
00:06:07,891 --> 00:06:09,692
102.2.
123
00:06:10,778 --> 00:06:14,280
Exactly what it was
half an hour ago.
124
00:06:14,282 --> 00:06:17,283
It's like you're not even
trying to get better.
125
00:06:19,152 --> 00:06:22,204
Sheldon, you don't get over
the flu in half an hour.
126
00:06:22,206 --> 00:06:24,123
Well, not with that attitude.
127
00:06:25,626 --> 00:06:29,545
I have to say, I'm finding your
bedside manner a little lacking.
128
00:06:29,547 --> 00:06:30,746
I'm sorry.
129
00:06:30,748 --> 00:06:32,848
I just want you to get better
as soon as possible.
130
00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:36,018
And with that goal in mind,
let me ask you a question.
131
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:39,872
Do you believe in
the placebo effect?
132
00:06:39,874 --> 00:06:41,007
Of course I do.
133
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:43,225
There have been many studies
proving its validity.
134
00:06:43,227 --> 00:06:44,427
Great.
135
00:06:44,429 --> 00:06:47,697
Now, this may look
like a Tic Tac...
136
00:06:49,383 --> 00:06:54,153
...but it is really a powerful
medication specifically designed
137
00:06:54,155 --> 00:06:57,823
to cure your illness as well as
freshen your breath.
138
00:06:57,825 --> 00:07:00,993
Sheldon, this isn't helping.
139
00:07:00,995 --> 00:07:03,045
Why don't you just let me
get some rest.
140
00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:04,113
How can you sleep?
141
00:07:04,115 --> 00:07:06,165
I'm not done
making you feel better.
142
00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:09,702
I still have to put a
cold rag on your head,
143
00:07:09,704 --> 00:07:13,456
sing to you and apply VapoRub
to your chest.
144
00:07:20,814 --> 00:07:24,316
Y-You want to rub something
on my chest?
145
00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:26,919
Yes.
146
00:07:26,921 --> 00:07:28,938
All over it.
147
00:07:32,694 --> 00:07:34,527
Maybe we should start with that.
148
00:07:36,313 --> 00:07:38,698
Now you're being a
responsible patient.
149
00:07:48,742 --> 00:07:53,879
Now, you may notice
some tingling.
150
00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:56,799
Oh, I'm counting on it.
151
00:07:58,618 --> 00:08:01,787
Oh.
152
00:08:02,939 --> 00:08:05,124
Okay, dig in.
153
00:08:05,126 --> 00:08:08,293
Hold up.
154
00:08:08,295 --> 00:08:10,796
Bless us, O Lord
for these Thy gifts
155
00:08:10,798 --> 00:08:12,431
which we are about to receive
156
00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:13,599
from Thy bounty
157
00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:15,634
through Christ our Lord. Amen.
158
00:08:17,604 --> 00:08:20,856
Took the words
right out of my mouth.
159
00:08:22,943 --> 00:08:25,911
So, Dad, have you done
any fishing lately?
160
00:08:25,913 --> 00:08:27,363
I'm going next weekend.
161
00:08:27,365 --> 00:08:29,165
Oh, you like to fish?
162
00:08:29,167 --> 00:08:32,651
Yes.
163
00:08:34,454 --> 00:08:38,040
Sure. I can hear it
in your voice.
164
00:08:38,042 --> 00:08:42,762
Oh, if he didn't like it,
he wouldn't go.
165
00:08:42,764 --> 00:08:46,465
You know, I hadn't
thought of that.
166
00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:49,135
Help me.
167
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:51,637
Hey, Dad, maybe you could take
Howard fishing sometime.
168
00:08:51,639 --> 00:08:53,856
Give you guys a chance to get
to know each other better.
169
00:08:53,858 --> 00:08:56,175
No, no.
170
00:08:56,177 --> 00:08:57,676
We know each other
well enough.
171
00:08:57,678 --> 00:09:00,696
He's been talking
my ear off all night.
172
00:09:00,698 --> 00:09:02,281
Howie, I think you'd have fun.
173
00:09:05,552 --> 00:09:08,571
Fine, you can tag along.
174
00:09:08,573 --> 00:09:09,955
Terrific.
175
00:09:09,957 --> 00:09:12,124
My two favorite fellas
gone fishin'.
176
00:09:12,126 --> 00:09:14,326
Well, hang on a
second, Bernie.
177
00:09:14,328 --> 00:09:16,929
Next weekend, we
have that thing.
178
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,080
What thing?
179
00:09:18,082 --> 00:09:21,050
You know, the thing.
180
00:09:21,052 --> 00:09:22,918
Oh, that thing.
181
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,703
No, I cancelled that thing.
182
00:09:26,139 --> 00:09:27,723
All right, it's settled.
183
00:09:27,725 --> 00:09:29,508
You and I are going fishing.
184
00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:31,043
Great.
185
00:09:31,045 --> 00:09:33,429
Thanks for the help.
186
00:09:34,598 --> 00:09:36,265
I've never even
been fishing.
187
00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:37,983
This is gonna
be a disaster.
188
00:09:37,985 --> 00:09:40,186
If you don't want to look
foolish doing something,
189
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,887
you should practice.
190
00:09:41,889 --> 00:09:44,907
Do you know how many beef
Wellingtons I made by myself
191
00:09:44,909 --> 00:09:46,942
before I invited you guys over?
192
00:09:48,111 --> 00:09:49,278
I'll give you a hint.
193
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:54,233
You can see them
here, here... and here.
194
00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:58,120
Raj is probably right.
195
00:09:58,122 --> 00:10:00,239
You should get someone
to give you some pointers.
196
00:10:00,241 --> 00:10:02,057
Do either of you guys
know how to fish?
197
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:04,960
No.
198
00:10:04,962 --> 00:10:06,578
But if you
catch anything,
199
00:10:06,580 --> 00:10:09,748
I know how to steam
it in banana leaves.
200
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:11,767
Come on, we must know somebody
201
00:10:11,769 --> 00:10:14,603
who can do manly stuff
like this.
202
00:10:17,524 --> 00:10:19,692
S'up?
203
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,038
Step one: worms.
204
00:10:29,124 --> 00:10:31,492
Ew!
205
00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:34,545
Okay, right there,
"ew" is one of the things
206
00:10:34,547 --> 00:10:37,164
you're not gonna want to say
in front of your father-in-law.
207
00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:40,050
It's right up there with "icky"
and "get it away."
208
00:10:40,052 --> 00:10:42,002
Now pick one up.
209
00:10:42,004 --> 00:10:43,470
Really?
210
00:10:43,472 --> 00:10:45,256
You're gonna have to do it
when you're fishing.
211
00:10:45,258 --> 00:10:47,424
Okay.
212
00:10:50,929 --> 00:10:52,313
What are you waiting for?
213
00:10:52,315 --> 00:10:56,216
I don't know, for them
to die of natural causes.
214
00:10:56,218 --> 00:10:59,353
Just pick up a worm
and put him on this hook.
215
00:11:00,822 --> 00:11:03,190
Fine.
216
00:11:13,685 --> 00:11:15,369
There.
217
00:11:15,371 --> 00:11:16,954
I'm no expert,
218
00:11:16,956 --> 00:11:19,790
but I think the hook has
to go through the worm.
219
00:11:19,792 --> 00:11:21,909
Fine.
220
00:11:21,911 --> 00:11:23,961
Sorry, Mr. Worm.
221
00:11:23,963 --> 00:11:26,380
Sherm.
Sherm the Worm.
222
00:11:27,265 --> 00:11:28,415
Hey, don't name him.
223
00:11:28,417 --> 00:11:30,301
Just jab a hook in his face.
224
00:11:32,253 --> 00:11:34,221
You got this, buddy.
Yeah, come on, Howard.
225
00:11:34,223 --> 00:11:35,890
Hook that worm.
You can do it.
226
00:11:35,892 --> 00:11:37,224
That's great.
227
00:11:37,226 --> 00:11:39,276
Cheerleading--
way to man things up.
228
00:11:42,647 --> 00:11:44,732
"And the control group displayed
229
00:11:44,734 --> 00:11:48,602
"significantly fewer
genetic abnormalities.
230
00:11:48,604 --> 00:11:52,606
"But, because of flaws
in the experimental design
231
00:11:52,608 --> 00:11:54,992
"relating to
environment and diet,
232
00:11:54,994 --> 00:11:57,595
they lived
inconclusively ever after."
233
00:11:57,597 --> 00:11:59,580
The end.
234
00:11:59,582 --> 00:12:01,065
That was great.
235
00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:02,483
Rub my chest again.
236
00:12:03,703 --> 00:12:05,085
No.
237
00:12:05,087 --> 00:12:06,937
I need to get you down
for a nap.
238
00:12:06,939 --> 00:12:10,474
For some reason, that VapoRub
gets you all fired up.
239
00:12:12,727 --> 00:12:14,228
How's the poor thing?
240
00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:17,147
Oh, I'm hanging in there.
Thanks for asking.
241
00:12:17,983 --> 00:12:19,650
Okay, Amy,
I brought you some drugs
242
00:12:19,652 --> 00:12:21,418
we were working
on in the lab.
243
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:23,637
This is proving really
good for congestion,
244
00:12:23,639 --> 00:12:24,822
but there's a slight chance
245
00:12:24,824 --> 00:12:26,774
it can make your tears
burn like acid,
246
00:12:26,776 --> 00:12:28,759
so if you take it--
happy thoughts.
247
00:12:30,412 --> 00:12:33,030
Uh, I'm going to draw
you a soothing bath.
248
00:12:33,032 --> 00:12:34,782
Where's your bath thermometer?
249
00:12:34,784 --> 00:12:36,700
I don't have a bath thermometer.
250
00:12:36,702 --> 00:12:38,585
Fine. Then I'm going to draw you
251
00:12:38,587 --> 00:12:41,205
a nerve-wracking bath
of indeterminate temperature.
252
00:12:43,275 --> 00:12:45,376
This is a really
good expectorant.
253
00:12:45,378 --> 00:12:47,378
Although some
test subjects reported
254
00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:50,381
lactating uncontrollably
when they heard music.
255
00:12:51,332 --> 00:12:52,967
Okay, okay, here's the deal.
256
00:12:52,969 --> 00:12:55,002
I don't need your medicine.
I'm not sick.
257
00:12:55,004 --> 00:12:56,336
I don't understand.
258
00:12:56,338 --> 00:12:58,005
I got better two days ago.
259
00:12:58,007 --> 00:13:01,558
It's just been so nice
having Sheldon take care of me.
260
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:03,110
So you've just
been lying to him?
261
00:13:03,112 --> 00:13:04,728
See the stuff in my nose?
262
00:13:04,730 --> 00:13:06,847
Rubber cement.
263
00:13:07,782 --> 00:13:09,984
I don't mean to be judgy,
264
00:13:09,986 --> 00:13:13,654
but this is the kind
of thing lunatics do.
265
00:13:14,522 --> 00:13:15,990
All right.
266
00:13:15,992 --> 00:13:18,025
I'll tell him.
267
00:13:18,027 --> 00:13:19,710
Amy, would you
be strong enough
268
00:13:19,712 --> 00:13:22,563
to bathe yourself,
or do you need my help?
269
00:13:25,483 --> 00:13:27,801
I'll tell him tomorrow.
270
00:13:29,754 --> 00:13:31,889
Mama needs a bath.
271
00:13:34,476 --> 00:13:36,226
Now, let's assume,
by some miracle,
272
00:13:36,228 --> 00:13:37,428
you actually catch a fish.
273
00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:39,480
You're going to have to know
how to gut it.
274
00:13:39,482 --> 00:13:41,148
So, what you're
going to do
275
00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:43,267
is you're going to take
your knife,
276
00:13:43,269 --> 00:13:45,569
slice him right up the belly.
277
00:13:49,324 --> 00:13:50,824
You want me to stop?
278
00:13:50,826 --> 00:13:51,992
No, I'm fine.
Keep going.
279
00:13:51,994 --> 00:13:53,494
All right. Now, you
don't want to cut
280
00:13:53,496 --> 00:13:54,695
too deep into its guts,
281
00:13:54,697 --> 00:13:56,697
or the blood will just squirt
all over your face.
282
00:13:59,784 --> 00:14:01,702
Oh, my God.
283
00:14:01,704 --> 00:14:03,570
What is with you guys?
284
00:14:03,572 --> 00:14:04,872
It's not our fault.
285
00:14:04,874 --> 00:14:07,291
Our dads never did anything
like this with us.
286
00:14:07,293 --> 00:14:08,408
What, never?
287
00:14:08,410 --> 00:14:10,344
My dad was an
anthropologist.
288
00:14:10,346 --> 00:14:12,429
The only father-son
time he spent
289
00:14:12,431 --> 00:14:16,183
was with a 2,000-year-old
skeleton of an Etruscan boy.
290
00:14:16,185 --> 00:14:18,552
I hated that kid.
291
00:14:20,055 --> 00:14:22,523
Mine just took me
to his gynecology office.
292
00:14:22,525 --> 00:14:25,225
I got so bored,
I'd put vaginal lubricant
293
00:14:25,227 --> 00:14:29,646
on the bottom of my shoes
and pretend I was ice-skating.
294
00:14:33,201 --> 00:14:35,035
Yeah, well, my quality
father-son time
295
00:14:35,037 --> 00:14:37,704
was spending my adolescence
looking out the window
296
00:14:37,706 --> 00:14:41,125
waiting for my dad
to come back someday.
297
00:14:42,276 --> 00:14:44,661
Yeah, okay, Howard wins.
298
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:48,215
You know, maybe we didn't
have opportunities like this
299
00:14:48,217 --> 00:14:49,967
when we were growing up,
but right now,
300
00:14:49,969 --> 00:14:52,469
there's a dad that wants
to take you on a fishing trip.
301
00:14:52,471 --> 00:14:54,054
You're right.
302
00:14:54,056 --> 00:14:55,389
I should do this.
303
00:14:55,391 --> 00:14:56,473
Great.
304
00:14:56,475 --> 00:14:57,474
Here you go.
305
00:14:57,476 --> 00:14:58,675
What you're
going to do
306
00:14:58,677 --> 00:15:00,010
is you're going to
stick your thumb
307
00:15:00,012 --> 00:15:02,813
down its throat, grab
the guts and pull.
308
00:15:06,351 --> 00:15:08,402
Here we go.
309
00:15:13,908 --> 00:15:16,160
Oh, look, it's a female.
You can see all the eggs.
310
00:15:21,065 --> 00:15:23,400
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
311
00:15:23,402 --> 00:15:25,152
♪ Whoa, oh
312
00:15:25,154 --> 00:15:27,087
♪ And don't it feel good? ♪
313
00:15:27,089 --> 00:15:29,423
♪ Oh, yeah
314
00:15:29,425 --> 00:15:31,575
♪ And don't it feel good? ♪
315
00:15:35,346 --> 00:15:38,549
Oh, Sheldon,
am I glad you're back.
316
00:15:38,551 --> 00:15:40,934
Taking a turn for the worst.
317
00:15:42,187 --> 00:15:45,305
I think I'm going to need
another bath.
318
00:15:45,307 --> 00:15:47,691
I'm surprised to hear that.
319
00:15:47,693 --> 00:15:50,110
See, the other day,
I was concerned
320
00:15:50,112 --> 00:15:51,645
that you weren't recovering,
321
00:15:51,647 --> 00:15:52,913
so while you
were sleeping,
322
00:15:52,915 --> 00:15:56,233
I took a cheek swab
and had it cultured in the lab.
323
00:15:56,235 --> 00:15:57,818
Oh?
324
00:15:57,820 --> 00:15:59,486
I got the results back.
325
00:15:59,488 --> 00:16:02,623
Have you developed any of
the following symptoms?
326
00:16:02,625 --> 00:16:04,625
A growing nose,
327
00:16:04,627 --> 00:16:09,163
or perhaps a warm sensation
in the trouser region?
328
00:16:09,165 --> 00:16:10,530
Also known as
329
00:16:10,532 --> 00:16:13,634
full-blown
"liar, liar, pants on fire."
330
00:16:13,636 --> 00:16:15,486
All right, all right.
331
00:16:15,488 --> 00:16:17,537
But I really was sick
at the beginning.
332
00:16:17,539 --> 00:16:21,225
It's just been so nice
having you take care of me.
333
00:16:22,343 --> 00:16:25,095
It hurts that you
would lie to me, Amy.
334
00:16:25,097 --> 00:16:28,232
I thought our relationship
was based on trust
335
00:16:28,234 --> 00:16:32,269
and a mutual admiration
that skews in my favor.
336
00:16:32,271 --> 00:16:34,655
I feel terrible I did this.
337
00:16:34,657 --> 00:16:36,106
It pains me to say it,
338
00:16:36,108 --> 00:16:38,992
but I think some form
of penalty is in order,
339
00:16:38,994 --> 00:16:42,696
so as to discourage this type
of behavior in the future.
340
00:16:42,698 --> 00:16:45,616
I suppose that's fair.
What do you suggest?
341
00:16:45,618 --> 00:16:47,117
In a perfect world,
I'd lock you
342
00:16:47,119 --> 00:16:49,036
in a stockade in
the public square.
343
00:16:50,371 --> 00:16:52,923
That probably
requires a permit.
344
00:16:55,376 --> 00:16:56,760
I could not be allowed
345
00:16:56,762 --> 00:16:59,429
to go to the opening
of the next Star Trek movie.
346
00:16:59,431 --> 00:17:02,382
Oh, that seems
overly harsh.
347
00:17:03,451 --> 00:17:05,252
You gave in to a
hun weakness.
348
00:17:05,254 --> 00:17:06,637
You didn't kill a man.
349
00:17:06,639 --> 00:17:10,857
You know, it's a
tad old-school,
350
00:17:10,859 --> 00:17:13,610
but my father was not
one to spare the rod
351
00:17:13,612 --> 00:17:15,779
when my brother would
sneak into his truck
352
00:17:15,781 --> 00:17:18,148
and drink his
driving whiskey.
353
00:17:20,418 --> 00:17:23,820
Are you saying
you want to spank me?
354
00:17:26,457 --> 00:17:28,992
I don't want to.
355
00:17:29,978 --> 00:17:33,330
But it looks like you
left me no choice.
356
00:17:34,916 --> 00:17:37,134
That's true.
357
00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:43,190
I've been a very bad girl.
358
00:17:47,011 --> 00:17:49,730
Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's
off to fish we go.
359
00:17:51,266 --> 00:17:53,233
That's what you're wearing?
360
00:17:53,235 --> 00:17:54,268
No good?
361
00:17:54,270 --> 00:17:56,136
The guy at
the sporting goods store
362
00:17:56,138 --> 00:17:58,021
said these are what
fishermen wear.
363
00:17:58,023 --> 00:18:00,757
Maybe in cartoons.
364
00:18:01,609 --> 00:18:03,694
Wish I had known that
before I posted
365
00:18:03,696 --> 00:18:06,163
all those pictures on Facebook.
366
00:18:07,615 --> 00:18:09,783
All right,
let's hit the road.
367
00:18:09,785 --> 00:18:12,319
I wouldn't mind shooting
some ducks in the morning.
368
00:18:12,321 --> 00:18:14,421
Wait, now we're shooting things?
369
00:18:15,373 --> 00:18:17,708
I like using a big shell.
370
00:18:17,710 --> 00:18:19,293
You can't eat them afterwards,
371
00:18:19,295 --> 00:18:21,661
but it's fun
watching them blow up.
372
00:18:25,683 --> 00:18:27,017
Sir, I'm flattered
373
00:18:27,019 --> 00:18:29,136
that you invited me,
374
00:18:29,138 --> 00:18:32,472
and I really want you
to like me,
375
00:18:32,474 --> 00:18:33,690
but...
376
00:18:33,692 --> 00:18:37,978
I don't think this trip
is the way to do it.
377
00:18:37,980 --> 00:18:39,846
And I can't return
these things
378
00:18:39,848 --> 00:18:42,682
if there's chunks
of duck all over them.
379
00:18:42,684 --> 00:18:44,668
So, why'd you
agree to come?
380
00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:47,187
'Cause Bernadette made me.
381
00:18:47,189 --> 00:18:48,939
I tried to back out, too.
382
00:18:48,941 --> 00:18:51,524
My wife said I had to go.
383
00:18:51,526 --> 00:18:54,044
Really?
Your wife makes you do stuff?
384
00:18:54,046 --> 00:18:56,079
You're a big, scary cop.
385
00:18:56,081 --> 00:18:57,414
You're an astronaut,
386
00:18:57,416 --> 00:18:59,716
and your wife
makes you do things,
387
00:18:59,718 --> 00:19:02,469
and she's only four feet tall.
388
00:19:05,373 --> 00:19:07,391
So, what do we do now?
389
00:19:07,393 --> 00:19:10,394
They expect us to go
away for the weekend.
390
00:19:10,396 --> 00:19:12,429
Ah...
391
00:19:16,234 --> 00:19:20,103
There's an Indian casino
near Palm Springs.
392
00:19:21,305 --> 00:19:23,440
You know how to shoot craps?
393
00:19:23,442 --> 00:19:25,742
No, but I'm not a
stranger to dice games.
394
00:19:25,744 --> 00:19:29,613
I was the Temple Beth-El
Hebrew School Yahtzee champion.
395
00:19:31,449 --> 00:19:33,467
Mazel tov.
396
00:19:34,735 --> 00:19:37,170
I'll teach you how to play.
397
00:19:37,172 --> 00:19:39,506
Really?
398
00:19:39,508 --> 00:19:42,442
Thank you, sir.
399
00:19:43,761 --> 00:19:45,796
Call me Mike.
400
00:19:47,415 --> 00:19:49,583
Okay.
401
00:19:52,086 --> 00:19:53,603
Oh, boy,
we're just married
402
00:19:53,605 --> 00:19:56,773
to a couple of
ballbusters, huh, Mike?
403
00:19:58,109 --> 00:20:01,144
That's my wife and daughter
you're talking about.
404
00:20:02,447 --> 00:20:05,699
Great couple of gals.
405
00:20:05,701 --> 00:20:07,984
I wouldn't go that far.
406
00:20:16,379 --> 00:20:19,214
Are you prepared to
receive your punishment?
407
00:20:22,385 --> 00:20:24,302
One second.
408
00:20:24,304 --> 00:20:26,337
I want to put on some music.
409
00:20:27,156 --> 00:20:29,274
Why?
410
00:20:29,276 --> 00:20:31,443
I don't want to disturb
the people next door
411
00:20:31,445 --> 00:20:33,111
while you discipline me.
412
00:20:39,285 --> 00:20:40,902
Very well, then.
413
00:20:40,904 --> 00:20:43,488
Get over my knee.
Let's begin.
414
00:20:50,146 --> 00:20:52,330
Oh, my.
415
00:20:52,332 --> 00:20:53,849
Excuse me.
416
00:20:53,851 --> 00:20:56,418
You're not supposed to be
enjoying this.
417
00:20:56,420 --> 00:20:59,638
Then maybe you should
spank me harder.
418
00:21:02,909 --> 00:21:06,441
Maybe I will.
Ooh!
419
00:21:06,541 --> 00:21:11,541
== sync, corrected by elderman ==