1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,500 ♪ The Simpsons 24x07 ♪ The Day the Earth Stood Cool Original Air Date on December 9, 2012 2 00:00:05,355 --> 00:00:06,656 (Bart laughing) 3 00:00:06,657 --> 00:00:09,142 == sync, corrected by elderman == (children cry out in pain) 4 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,477 (children groaning) 5 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,212 Bart, stop it! 6 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,880 You might fall. 7 00:00:13,915 --> 00:00:17,117 Oh, he's such a cute little rascal. 8 00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:20,153 (thinking) Oh, my God, is she flirting with me? 9 00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,639 I can see where he gets his good looks. 10 00:00:22,673 --> 00:00:24,374 She is flirting with me! 11 00:00:24,408 --> 00:00:26,226 Okay, Homer, let her down easy. 12 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:27,911 Don't go breaking any hearts. 13 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,147 What a lucky little boy to get a trip 14 00:00:30,181 --> 00:00:31,798 to the park with his grandpa. 15 00:00:31,833 --> 00:00:33,316 Grandpa?! 16 00:00:33,351 --> 00:00:35,018 Grandpa?! 17 00:00:35,052 --> 00:00:36,653 (panting loudly) Oh, my God! 18 00:00:36,687 --> 00:00:38,021 Should I call an ambulance? 19 00:00:38,055 --> 00:00:40,440 Help! An old man is dying! 20 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,492 Oh! This boy's grandfather 21 00:00:42,527 --> 00:00:45,545 is a shriveled-up corncob begging for death! 22 00:00:45,580 --> 00:00:47,314 I am his father! 23 00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:51,535 I can't believe I allowed you to hit on me! 24 00:00:51,569 --> 00:00:53,320 (quacking) 25 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:54,821 Beat it, ducks! 26 00:00:54,856 --> 00:00:56,473 I'm not old enough to have food for you! 27 00:00:56,507 --> 00:00:58,491 I'm sexy! Young and sexy! 28 00:00:58,526 --> 00:00:59,743 (ducks quacking) 29 00:00:59,777 --> 00:01:01,060 (bird caws) 30 00:01:01,078 --> 00:01:03,196 Old man. I'm not an old man. 31 00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:05,265 This drawing doesn't think I'm old. 32 00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,933 Don't you, drawing? 33 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,503 (gasps) Those aren't our regular donuts. 34 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,923 They're huge! With crazy toppings! 35 00:01:12,957 --> 00:01:14,191 HOMER: Gummy worms! 36 00:01:14,225 --> 00:01:15,525 Churro chunks! 37 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,844 Russian nesting donut! 38 00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:22,432 I got to eat the rest! 39 00:01:22,466 --> 00:01:23,667 (yelps) They're gone! 40 00:01:23,701 --> 00:01:26,336 Where did these Devil Donuts come from? 41 00:01:26,370 --> 00:01:27,921 I don't know. The guy who gives 42 00:01:27,939 --> 00:01:29,839 the sexual harassment seminars brought them in. 43 00:01:29,874 --> 00:01:32,776 Actually, Carl, there's no workplace-appropriate use 44 00:01:32,810 --> 00:01:34,711 for the word "bazooms." 45 00:01:34,745 --> 00:01:36,279 What about "thunderbags"? 46 00:01:36,314 --> 00:01:38,765 Get lost, pervs! 47 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,235 Okay, where did you get these donuts?! 48 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,771 From a guy with a cart. It could be anywhere! 49 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,458 CHIEF WIGGUM: 911. What is your emergency? 50 00:01:48,492 --> 00:01:52,112 I'm calling to report a missing donut cart. 51 00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:54,113 (siren wailing) 52 00:01:54,131 --> 00:01:56,216 I'm not seeing anything. Can you get any lower? 53 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,951 But, Chief, the power lines! 54 00:01:57,969 --> 00:01:59,586 (whiny): "But, Chief, the power lines." 55 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,488 Go lower! 56 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,740 HOMER: Nope. Nope. Nothing. 57 00:02:03,774 --> 00:02:04,925 Nope. 58 00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:06,476 I see... 59 00:02:06,510 --> 00:02:07,627 devil horns... 60 00:02:07,645 --> 00:02:09,562 pitchfork... pointed tail, 61 00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:11,464 hooves are... cloven! 62 00:02:11,482 --> 00:02:12,966 We have logo, people! 63 00:02:12,984 --> 00:02:14,017 We have logo! 64 00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:18,104 Sorry, gents, we're fresh out. 65 00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:20,607 I only make one batch a day. When they're gone, I'm done. 66 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,409 Oh, no more donuts?! 67 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:24,010 Make more or I shoot! 68 00:02:24,045 --> 00:02:26,513 (panting): I'm not bluffing. Come on. 69 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:27,681 Hmm. 70 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,649 What have I become? 71 00:02:29,684 --> 00:02:31,117 It's not a good feeling 72 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,019 when you're saying, "what have I become?" 73 00:02:33,054 --> 00:02:34,955 more than once a day. 74 00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,222 Mm. Mm-hmm. 75 00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:39,926 Tell you what, I could give you 76 00:02:39,961 --> 00:02:41,795 a sneak preview of a new donut 77 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,980 that's still in the R&D phase. 78 00:02:44,015 --> 00:02:47,150 Oh. Beer keg donut?! 79 00:02:47,184 --> 00:02:48,385 (slurps) 80 00:02:49,687 --> 00:02:51,087 I would be honored 81 00:02:51,122 --> 00:02:53,256 to shake the hand that glazed this. 82 00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:54,658 I'm Terence. 83 00:02:54,692 --> 00:02:56,826 (softly): Tell me everything about you. 84 00:02:56,861 --> 00:02:58,361 You're from Portland? 85 00:02:58,396 --> 00:03:00,363 I've heard of people being from there. 86 00:03:00,398 --> 00:03:01,781 No, I haven't. 87 00:03:01,816 --> 00:03:03,683 Yeah, but Portland just got too played out. 88 00:03:03,718 --> 00:03:05,118 The city used to be real. 89 00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,053 Do you know there are now restaurants there 90 00:03:07,088 --> 00:03:09,189 with two locations? (chuckles) 91 00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,974 Not near my kids. 92 00:03:11,008 --> 00:03:12,709 Wait a minute. You have kids? 93 00:03:12,743 --> 00:03:15,395 You can't have kids. Look at you. 94 00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,364 You have a fun job, a skull ring-- 95 00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,032 and it's not Halloween-- 96 00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,067 and your belt is a seat belt! 97 00:03:21,102 --> 00:03:23,653 No one would ever think you're a lame old man. 98 00:03:23,688 --> 00:03:26,272 Ah, you can't let being a dad slow you down. 99 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:28,992 Me and the fam are doing the whole "urban nomad" thing. 100 00:03:29,026 --> 00:03:31,061 You know, just looking for an undiscovered city 101 00:03:31,095 --> 00:03:32,579 with affordable houses. 102 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,230 (gasps) Our houses are the cheapest! 103 00:03:34,265 --> 00:03:36,616 The one next to me's been on sale forever! 104 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,085 I see them lowering the price every morning 105 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,454 when I go out to pee. 106 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,757 Please. Please rush into this. 107 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,191 Please rush into this. 108 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,593 What a find! 109 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,428 Underneath all the ugly renovations 110 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,430 this house has Neutra bones. 111 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,465 In my house, we found human bones. 112 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,067 Emily and I have always dreamed 113 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,702 of restoring an architectural masterpiece. 114 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:59,472 I have a graduate degree in Mid-Century Kitsch. 115 00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,241 Thanks for turning us on to this place, Homer. 116 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,542 You're a pretty cool guy. 117 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,545 Really? I'm... (gasps) cool?! 118 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,481 Oh, can I man-hug you? 119 00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:09,983 Sure. 120 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:12,619 (grunts) I don't know how! 121 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,773 Okay, our first hangout 122 00:04:16,807 --> 00:04:18,324 with the cool new neighbors. 123 00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:20,126 I've already blown them away-- 124 00:04:20,161 --> 00:04:21,828 their words, I assume-- 125 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,613 so don't screw it up! 126 00:04:23,647 --> 00:04:26,466 Oh, relax, kids. Just be yourselves. 127 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:30,003 Oh, great, Marge, now that's in their heads! 128 00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:33,006 Hey, this is my armadillo, Chewy. 129 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,809 Uh, Mexico Chewy, not Star Wars Chewie. 130 00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:38,611 Star Wars Chewie is just a man in a costume, 131 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:41,581 so he's not scary. 132 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,684 And this is our baby, Corduroy, (squeals) 133 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,519 and our son, T-Rex. 134 00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:48,822 Yeah, neighbors. Heh, I get it. 135 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:51,124 T-Rex? Even their names are cool. 136 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,692 Uh, this is, um... 137 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:57,163 Ice Cream, Bungee Jump, and... Viral Video. 138 00:04:57,198 --> 00:04:58,098 (growls) 139 00:04:59,683 --> 00:05:01,084 Wow! Whoa! 140 00:05:01,118 --> 00:05:02,669 BART: Cool. 141 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,804 Look at these obscure card games! 142 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:07,107 Hey, do you have Uno? 143 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,426 I did, when I was uno. 144 00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:11,478 Check out all these Sergeant Activity dolls! 145 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,646 No, that's Combat Jack, 146 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,715 the original British doll 147 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:18,318 that Sergeant Activity ripped off. 148 00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:20,887 Fine. You have a weird old version of something. 149 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,338 Let's just watch TV. 150 00:05:22,373 --> 00:05:26,443 Uh, TV? We don't own a TV. 151 00:05:26,477 --> 00:05:28,645 I didn't know that was an option. 152 00:05:28,679 --> 00:05:30,113 I think I'm done here. 153 00:05:30,147 --> 00:05:31,948 Lisa, go nuts. 154 00:05:31,982 --> 00:05:35,652 My dad only lets me watch what's on his queue. 155 00:05:35,686 --> 00:05:38,054 If I don't get off the Cloud Palace, 156 00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,190 I'll never get home for school tomorrow, 157 00:05:40,224 --> 00:05:42,859 but the Toad Spirit has Aunt Ginzee! 158 00:05:42,893 --> 00:05:44,093 (gasps) 159 00:05:44,128 --> 00:05:46,129 (humming nervously) 160 00:05:49,533 --> 00:05:52,168 "Scientists prove cat heaven real, 161 00:05:52,203 --> 00:05:53,803 human heaven not!" 162 00:05:53,838 --> 00:05:56,172 (gasps) That's so sad! 163 00:05:56,207 --> 00:05:58,041 Those are joke headlines. 164 00:05:58,075 --> 00:05:59,843 It's not a real newspaper, 165 00:05:59,877 --> 00:06:01,911 it's just satire. 166 00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:04,681 Oh... satire! 167 00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:09,419 And these fake movie reviews are so mean, 168 00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:12,055 it's hilarious! (laughs) 169 00:06:12,089 --> 00:06:14,190 Oh, those are real. 170 00:06:14,225 --> 00:06:16,359 Great paper. 171 00:06:17,428 --> 00:06:18,828 Maggie's a little hungry. 172 00:06:18,863 --> 00:06:20,830 Oh, you can go ahead and feed her. 173 00:06:20,865 --> 00:06:23,600 Corduroy could probably use a snack. 174 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:24,868 (suckling) 175 00:06:24,902 --> 00:06:28,571 Hmm, that's not applesauce. 176 00:06:28,606 --> 00:06:30,707 Oh, uh, you don't have to be uncomfortable 177 00:06:30,741 --> 00:06:32,542 around another nursing mom. 178 00:06:32,576 --> 00:06:35,111 Breast-feeding's just a healthy thing we all do. 179 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,779 It sure is! 180 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:40,533 There's nothing more natural than... that. 181 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,402 It's just that Maggie's already... 182 00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:46,072 milked me today. (nervous laugh) 183 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,607 Homer, I think we should go. 184 00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,075 We're not like these people. 185 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,260 (gasps) 186 00:06:50,294 --> 00:06:51,611 Check out my new look. 187 00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,279 Terence shaved my head. 188 00:06:53,314 --> 00:06:54,964 You're all bald! 189 00:06:54,999 --> 00:06:57,967 No, I'm young-person cool bald! 190 00:06:58,002 --> 00:07:00,136 Not old-person sad bald. 191 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:02,772 I never want to see these again! 192 00:07:03,807 --> 00:07:05,441 (groans) 193 00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:11,103 Check it out, Flanders! 194 00:07:11,137 --> 00:07:14,506 Us cool dads are sharing a mono-yard! 195 00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:16,909 Guess I can't be your best friend anymore. 196 00:07:16,943 --> 00:07:19,662 (chuckles) To be honest, that comes as a tremendous relief. 197 00:07:19,696 --> 00:07:21,680 Boo-hoo-hoo! You could cry all night, 198 00:07:21,731 --> 00:07:23,782 it's not gonna win me back! 199 00:07:26,686 --> 00:07:27,870 (gate creaks) 200 00:07:27,904 --> 00:07:31,140 (gasps) I can finally compost! 201 00:07:31,174 --> 00:07:33,359 (Lisa humming happily) 202 00:07:33,410 --> 00:07:36,595 Maybe we shouldn't rush things with the new neighbors. 203 00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:40,032 You know, we might not all be a perfect match. 204 00:07:40,066 --> 00:07:41,984 I have a plan to deal with that. 205 00:07:42,002 --> 00:07:43,936 Step one: Change everything about ourselves 206 00:07:43,970 --> 00:07:45,871 until we are super-cool. The end. 207 00:07:45,905 --> 00:07:48,674 But I always thought you were cool. 208 00:07:48,708 --> 00:07:50,309 Honey, I'm not cool. 209 00:07:50,343 --> 00:07:51,510 I was never cool. 210 00:07:51,544 --> 00:07:53,045 I didn't go to college. 211 00:07:53,079 --> 00:07:55,881 Every CD I have, I bought at a car wash. 212 00:07:55,932 --> 00:07:57,683 Black-and-white films make me angry. 213 00:07:57,717 --> 00:07:59,468 I can't pronounce "artisanal." 214 00:07:59,502 --> 00:08:02,321 I only know David Cross from the Chipmunks movie. 215 00:08:02,355 --> 00:08:04,323 Not only do I like Van Halen, 216 00:08:04,357 --> 00:08:06,492 but I think they keep getting better. 217 00:08:06,526 --> 00:08:07,660 Oh... 218 00:08:07,694 --> 00:08:09,295 But if me and my kids do 219 00:08:09,329 --> 00:08:11,363 the same stuff as Terence and his kids, 220 00:08:11,398 --> 00:08:14,249 I could be a cool dad. 221 00:08:14,284 --> 00:08:17,336 Well, sweetie, if it's that important to you, 222 00:08:17,370 --> 00:08:19,638 I guess we can try. 223 00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:22,374 Thanks, baby. Here, have a bracelet 224 00:08:22,409 --> 00:08:24,843 made of a '70s educational film strip. 225 00:08:24,878 --> 00:08:27,346 Ooh, hygiene! 226 00:08:27,380 --> 00:08:28,614 ♪ Yeah, it's a real cool club 227 00:08:28,648 --> 00:08:31,083 ♪ And you're not part of it 228 00:08:32,118 --> 00:08:34,086 ♪ Yeah, it's a real cool club 229 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,288 ♪ And you'll never be a part of it. ♪ 230 00:08:37,791 --> 00:08:41,727 MARGE: Your father took you to a Korean gangster film festival? 231 00:08:41,761 --> 00:08:43,996 Yeah, it was great! This one guy was part 232 00:08:44,030 --> 00:08:46,048 of another guy's gang-- I mean, kkangpae-- 233 00:08:46,082 --> 00:08:48,367 but then he quit and joined another kkangpae, 234 00:08:48,401 --> 00:08:50,219 and when the guys in the first kkangpae found out, 235 00:08:50,253 --> 00:08:52,271 they were so mad they put his feet in a blender! 236 00:08:52,305 --> 00:08:54,723 Then they cut to a guy eating noodles, and blood splashed on him! 237 00:08:54,741 --> 00:08:57,026 At the art walk, we walked into a gallery, 238 00:08:57,060 --> 00:08:58,761 and it was just a guy crying. 239 00:08:58,795 --> 00:09:00,829 That was the art! 240 00:09:00,864 --> 00:09:01,897 (growls) 241 00:09:01,931 --> 00:09:03,766 The kids are a mess! 242 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,802 You brought them home exhausted and pretentious! 243 00:09:06,836 --> 00:09:09,405 No, we need to take kids to grown-up stuff. 244 00:09:09,439 --> 00:09:12,241 That's Terence's parenting style. 245 00:09:12,275 --> 00:09:14,626 Parenting shouldn't have a style! 246 00:09:14,661 --> 00:09:16,795 Parenting is about bedtimes, 247 00:09:16,830 --> 00:09:18,947 and passwords on computers, 248 00:09:18,982 --> 00:09:20,816 and complicated punishments 249 00:09:20,850 --> 00:09:22,284 you never follow through on! 250 00:09:22,318 --> 00:09:25,120 Are you wearing a wallet chain? 251 00:09:25,155 --> 00:09:27,423 You look like... a barista! 252 00:09:27,457 --> 00:09:29,475 Well, you won't be laughing when you see 253 00:09:29,509 --> 00:09:31,777 how many pickpockets this thing catches. 254 00:09:31,811 --> 00:09:33,278 And what's with the scarf? 255 00:09:33,313 --> 00:09:35,381 It's soaked in neck sweat! 256 00:09:35,415 --> 00:09:37,449 Wearing scarves in non-scarf weather 257 00:09:37,484 --> 00:09:39,451 is the essence of cool. 258 00:09:39,486 --> 00:09:41,120 The essence! 259 00:09:42,155 --> 00:09:43,372 Ooh. 260 00:09:45,141 --> 00:09:47,760 Aw, man, my goatee has barely come in! 261 00:09:47,794 --> 00:09:50,629 Why does my hair only grow in twos? 262 00:09:50,663 --> 00:09:53,599 Oh, I hope T-Rex likes the present I made him. 263 00:09:53,633 --> 00:09:56,468 Made? Why didn't you just buy him a toy? 264 00:09:56,503 --> 00:09:59,838 (sighs) Homemade presents are how cool families 265 00:09:59,873 --> 00:10:02,141 demonstrate how awesome they are. 266 00:10:02,175 --> 00:10:05,444 If I show up with a toy... 267 00:10:05,478 --> 00:10:07,413 from the store... 268 00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:10,182 like we would give our kids... 269 00:10:10,216 --> 00:10:11,683 then I've failed! 270 00:10:11,718 --> 00:10:16,088 And these skinny jeans will have flattened my junk for nothing! 271 00:10:16,122 --> 00:10:18,524 (rock playing) 272 00:10:22,128 --> 00:10:24,029 Geez, is this a kid's birthday party, 273 00:10:24,063 --> 00:10:25,764 or the place a bad guy 274 00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:27,549 kidnaps you to in a movie? 275 00:10:27,584 --> 00:10:30,119 Yeah, this factory used to make blimp tires. 276 00:10:30,153 --> 00:10:33,522 T-Rex loves decaying industrial-scapes. 277 00:10:33,556 --> 00:10:35,357 I used to. Now I'm into 278 00:10:35,391 --> 00:10:37,059 abandoned ethnic union halls. 279 00:10:37,093 --> 00:10:39,294 Come on, dude, this party rocks! 280 00:10:39,329 --> 00:10:41,497 Love the temporary- tattoo station! 281 00:10:41,531 --> 00:10:43,799 (chuckles): Uh, temporary? 282 00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:45,534 I want kitty whiskers! 283 00:10:45,568 --> 00:10:47,302 You got it. 284 00:10:47,336 --> 00:10:50,472 There's got to be a bounce house around here somewhere. 285 00:10:50,506 --> 00:10:53,525 At least maybe a pinata? 286 00:10:54,611 --> 00:10:58,046 (loud suckling) 287 00:10:58,081 --> 00:11:00,249 Holy areola! 288 00:11:00,283 --> 00:11:02,217 Please, join our milk circle. 289 00:11:02,252 --> 00:11:03,719 I'd love to, 290 00:11:03,753 --> 00:11:06,238 but Maggie's a little shy. 291 00:11:06,272 --> 00:11:09,875 Oh, don't worry-- you can use a nursing apron. 292 00:11:09,909 --> 00:11:11,877 Play along. 293 00:11:11,911 --> 00:11:14,980 Oh, this couldn't feel more natural. 294 00:11:15,014 --> 00:11:16,682 Glug, glug, glug. 295 00:11:16,716 --> 00:11:18,283 That's a good little mammal. 296 00:11:20,453 --> 00:11:21,587 (all gasp) 297 00:11:21,621 --> 00:11:22,955 A bottle?! 298 00:11:22,989 --> 00:11:24,056 Plastic! 299 00:11:24,090 --> 00:11:25,207 Formula! 300 00:11:25,241 --> 00:11:27,092 That is so wrong. 301 00:11:27,126 --> 00:11:31,029 Fine, I admit it, you nipple Nazis. 302 00:11:31,064 --> 00:11:32,898 I give my baby formula. 303 00:11:32,932 --> 00:11:34,433 (all gasping) 304 00:11:34,467 --> 00:11:36,368 It's okay. If you don't want to breast-feed 305 00:11:36,402 --> 00:11:38,420 your baby, we will. 306 00:11:40,773 --> 00:11:42,441 Stay back. (woman gasp) 307 00:11:42,475 --> 00:11:44,026 You know I'll use this. 308 00:11:44,060 --> 00:11:45,460 Because you saw me using it. 309 00:11:45,495 --> 00:11:47,462 (women whimpering) 310 00:11:47,497 --> 00:11:51,266 Huh, 1950s Pontiac Accordion Camera. 311 00:11:51,301 --> 00:11:54,937 I could always use another one of these. 312 00:11:54,971 --> 00:11:57,072 Bowling shoes. 313 00:11:57,106 --> 00:11:59,541 Not vintage, but you know, in a pinch. 314 00:12:02,545 --> 00:12:03,946 "Dino-Cool" 315 00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:08,083 Oh, I get it-- a T-Rex for the T-Rex. 316 00:12:08,117 --> 00:12:10,219 How long did it take him to think of that one? 317 00:12:10,253 --> 00:12:11,503 (boys laughing) Oh, man. 318 00:12:11,538 --> 00:12:13,839 Hey, my dad worked really hard to make that. 319 00:12:13,873 --> 00:12:16,174 He took a class to learn denim painting. 320 00:12:16,209 --> 00:12:17,609 (sighs) This is so pathetic. 321 00:12:17,644 --> 00:12:20,262 I can't even wear it ironically ironically. 322 00:12:21,731 --> 00:12:24,483 This guy's going on my "Poser Tumblr." 323 00:12:24,534 --> 00:12:26,602 (grunting to music) 324 00:12:26,636 --> 00:12:28,704 (boys laughing) 325 00:12:28,738 --> 00:12:32,257 No one bad mouths my dad except me. 326 00:12:32,292 --> 00:12:34,126 (both grunting) 327 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,111 Hey, dude! 328 00:12:36,145 --> 00:12:37,612 ♪ 329 00:12:39,832 --> 00:12:41,833 My vinyl. My vinyl! 330 00:12:41,884 --> 00:12:44,720 (boys grunting, Marge gasping) 331 00:12:44,754 --> 00:12:46,421 Your son attacked mine. 332 00:12:46,456 --> 00:12:47,990 You've turned this former slaughterhouse 333 00:12:48,024 --> 00:12:49,992 into a place of violence. 334 00:12:50,026 --> 00:12:51,560 I thought it made blimp tires. 335 00:12:51,594 --> 00:12:54,129 Yeah, like factories are never repurposed. 336 00:12:54,147 --> 00:12:55,831 (yells) 337 00:12:55,865 --> 00:12:58,066 It's time for you guys to leave. 338 00:12:58,101 --> 00:13:00,235 Are we still on for midnight bike riding? 339 00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:01,937 (whimpers) 340 00:13:05,441 --> 00:13:08,643 (bell rings) 341 00:13:08,661 --> 00:13:12,281 Feeling included is life's greatest joy. 342 00:13:12,315 --> 00:13:14,166 HOMER: Oh... 343 00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:18,907 (laughing): Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh-ho-ho, boy. 344 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:22,109 Oh-ho-ho, boy, oh, boy. 345 00:13:22,144 --> 00:13:24,378 Have you been "oh boy"-ing all night? 346 00:13:24,413 --> 00:13:27,248 Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, boy. 347 00:13:27,282 --> 00:13:30,351 We had the family version of a bro-mance going 348 00:13:30,385 --> 00:13:33,788 with our awesome neighbors and you had to screw it up. 349 00:13:33,822 --> 00:13:35,723 Look, that kid threw your present in the garbage, 350 00:13:35,757 --> 00:13:38,058 and he called you a poser, and everyone laughed. 351 00:13:38,093 --> 00:13:40,394 He called me a poser? 352 00:13:40,429 --> 00:13:42,062 Yeah, I was sticking up for you. 353 00:13:42,097 --> 00:13:44,331 You? Sticking up for your old man? 354 00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,734 You've never done that before. 355 00:13:46,768 --> 00:13:48,869 Also, I didn't want to tell you, 356 00:13:48,904 --> 00:13:51,739 but that wife and her gang looked down on me 357 00:13:51,773 --> 00:13:53,274 because I don't breast-feed. 358 00:13:53,308 --> 00:13:56,977 What? No one judges my wife's thunderbags. 359 00:13:57,012 --> 00:13:59,947 Well, maybe I was wrong about these people. 360 00:13:59,981 --> 00:14:02,917 Whoever thought a cool person could be a jerk? 361 00:14:04,119 --> 00:14:07,304 (grunts) They can "goatee" hell. 362 00:14:07,339 --> 00:14:09,306 Humph. 363 00:14:10,509 --> 00:14:12,176 Yeah, that's right. 364 00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:13,878 The friendship between the Simpsons 365 00:14:13,912 --> 00:14:17,414 and the whatever-your- last-name-is-es-es is over. 366 00:14:17,449 --> 00:14:19,984 I want my moustache stencils back. 367 00:14:20,018 --> 00:14:20,985 Fine. 368 00:14:21,019 --> 00:14:23,471 Keep 'em. 369 00:14:23,505 --> 00:14:25,306 But you have to give back... 370 00:14:25,340 --> 00:14:26,474 Lisa? 371 00:14:26,508 --> 00:14:29,310 (laughs, sighs) 372 00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:31,979 Mm-hmm. 373 00:14:32,013 --> 00:14:33,113 FLANDERS: I just thought 374 00:14:33,148 --> 00:14:34,648 if we got together we could change 375 00:14:34,683 --> 00:14:36,684 the channel from "The Feud Network" 376 00:14:36,718 --> 00:14:38,285 to "Comity Central." 377 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,838 Could we at least agree to both hate Flanders? 378 00:14:40,872 --> 00:14:42,573 I like him-- he talks in rhyme 379 00:14:42,607 --> 00:14:44,508 and owns a whimsical store in a failing mall. 380 00:14:44,543 --> 00:14:46,610 He's like the dad in a Wes Anderson movie. 381 00:14:46,645 --> 00:14:48,279 Shut up with your names! 382 00:14:48,313 --> 00:14:50,181 Well, we were just questioning the parenting 383 00:14:50,215 --> 00:14:53,184 that lead to Bart not using his words with Tyrannosaurus. 384 00:14:53,218 --> 00:14:55,319 Parenting? (huffs) 385 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,322 Let me tell you "cool parents" something. 386 00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:02,359 Parents are supposed to be lame so their kids have something 387 00:15:02,394 --> 00:15:05,996 to rebel against by becoming cool just long enough 388 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:09,934 to get married and have kids for whom they are lame. 389 00:15:09,968 --> 00:15:12,369 It's nature's way. 390 00:15:12,404 --> 00:15:15,139 When you're old, your tattoos will be saggy and illegible. 391 00:15:15,173 --> 00:15:17,474 Well, at least I don't put a corporate chemical cocktail 392 00:15:17,509 --> 00:15:18,876 into my child's body. 393 00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:21,178 See? See what I'm dealing with here, Ned? 394 00:15:21,213 --> 00:15:23,380 We invited them here and they repay us 395 00:15:23,415 --> 00:15:25,316 with insults and judgments. 396 00:15:25,350 --> 00:15:27,184 Yes, but there's two sides to every... 397 00:15:27,219 --> 00:15:28,853 Even Flanders agrees. 398 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,988 This is our neighborhood, we were here first 399 00:15:31,022 --> 00:15:32,323 so you should leave. 400 00:15:32,357 --> 00:15:33,657 We're not going anywhere. 401 00:15:33,692 --> 00:15:36,160 Our house just got written up in Dwell. 402 00:15:36,194 --> 00:15:37,828 HOMER: Oh, no, it's true. 403 00:15:37,863 --> 00:15:39,697 When I humble-brag about this article, 404 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:42,700 this towns about to get as popular as toe sneakers. 405 00:15:44,953 --> 00:15:46,854 The "us"-types are coming. 406 00:15:46,888 --> 00:15:47,755 Oh. 407 00:15:51,610 --> 00:15:53,611 ♪ 408 00:16:05,874 --> 00:16:07,174 NELSON: Butts! 409 00:16:11,963 --> 00:16:13,130 ♪ 410 00:16:13,164 --> 00:16:15,599 Class, say hello to your new music teachers, 411 00:16:15,634 --> 00:16:17,067 The Decemberists. 412 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,535 (children clapping) 413 00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:20,504 Now, who wants to learn a song 414 00:16:20,538 --> 00:16:23,207 about press-gangs and infanticide? 415 00:16:23,241 --> 00:16:24,608 (children cheering) 416 00:16:26,161 --> 00:16:27,778 Stupid town. 417 00:16:27,829 --> 00:16:29,496 At least I still got Moe's. 418 00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:32,566 Although probably not seeing where this is going. 419 00:16:32,601 --> 00:16:33,968 (tires screech) 420 00:16:34,002 --> 00:16:36,620 (gasps) 421 00:16:36,655 --> 00:16:37,938 What happened here? 422 00:16:37,973 --> 00:16:39,239 I don't know-- everything crappy 423 00:16:39,274 --> 00:16:40,507 about this place, they like. 424 00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:41,575 Even the rats. 425 00:16:41,610 --> 00:16:43,744 More manchego, Aziz? 426 00:16:43,778 --> 00:16:46,647 (tires screech) 427 00:16:46,681 --> 00:16:48,132 Oh, Marge, it's bad. 428 00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:50,267 The cool people are everywhere. 429 00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:53,504 Somehow they've even made the weather rainier. 430 00:16:53,538 --> 00:16:55,706 I brought these people to Springfield 431 00:16:55,740 --> 00:16:58,309 and now they've taken over. 432 00:16:58,343 --> 00:17:02,079 (bicycle bell ringing) It's a hellhole. 433 00:17:11,650 --> 00:17:15,186 (robot voice): Disco Stu has found a new thing. 434 00:17:15,220 --> 00:17:16,671 What happened to our town? 435 00:17:16,705 --> 00:17:18,639 Everybody wears clothes from the past 436 00:17:18,674 --> 00:17:20,925 and uses computers from the future. 437 00:17:20,959 --> 00:17:23,194 (phone beeps) Where can I buy spats? 438 00:17:23,228 --> 00:17:25,413 Apu's House of Spats. 439 00:17:26,448 --> 00:17:28,115 (tapping) 440 00:17:28,150 --> 00:17:30,785 Hey, better not attack me again. 441 00:17:30,819 --> 00:17:33,187 My mom gave me a salvaged police whistle. 442 00:17:33,222 --> 00:17:36,274 We had to replace the ball but everything else is stock. 443 00:17:36,308 --> 00:17:37,942 Ah, relax, I'm over it. 444 00:17:37,976 --> 00:17:39,594 Why aren't you at the block party? 445 00:17:39,628 --> 00:17:41,395 (scoffs) Block parties are lame. 446 00:17:41,430 --> 00:17:43,064 Why do you think everything's lame? 447 00:17:43,098 --> 00:17:44,332 I don't know. 448 00:17:44,366 --> 00:17:45,967 I don't get a lot of sleep. 449 00:17:46,001 --> 00:17:48,803 I was out really late at an all-ages burlesque show. 450 00:17:48,837 --> 00:17:51,739 Sorry I was mean to your dad. 451 00:17:51,773 --> 00:17:53,641 That's okay-- he is pretty lame. 452 00:17:53,675 --> 00:17:55,142 Hey, want to watch TV? 453 00:17:55,177 --> 00:17:56,143 Real TV? 454 00:17:56,178 --> 00:17:57,311 With commercials? 455 00:17:57,346 --> 00:17:58,980 Terrible commercials. 456 00:17:59,014 --> 00:18:01,449 But I'm supposed to turn the compost. 457 00:18:01,483 --> 00:18:03,484 Screw that-- it's Krusty time. 458 00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:16,747 ♪ 459 00:18:26,858 --> 00:18:27,942 Okay, you win. 460 00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:29,143 We don't have to be friends, 461 00:18:29,177 --> 00:18:30,778 but can we live on the fringes of your world? 462 00:18:30,812 --> 00:18:32,680 Like those eels that eat whale poop? 463 00:18:32,714 --> 00:18:35,049 (sucks air) Yeah... 464 00:18:35,083 --> 00:18:37,184 Um, we'll talk about it. 465 00:18:37,219 --> 00:18:38,686 That's how we say no. 466 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,521 (sniffing) What's that smell? 467 00:18:40,555 --> 00:18:42,957 Unturned compost and... (sniffing) 468 00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:44,325 Cuban movie posters! 469 00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:45,359 That's our house! 470 00:18:50,165 --> 00:18:52,183 If the flames reach my donut oil, 471 00:18:52,217 --> 00:18:53,801 the whole neighborhood will go up. 472 00:18:53,835 --> 00:18:55,886 (grunts) Hmm? Huh? 473 00:18:55,921 --> 00:18:58,689 Damn it. The community garden's using all the water pressure! 474 00:18:58,724 --> 00:19:00,057 You just had to have local radishes. 475 00:19:00,108 --> 00:19:01,208 Not now, Emily. 476 00:19:01,243 --> 00:19:03,060 Stop your trendy arguing. 477 00:19:03,095 --> 00:19:05,212 I'm trying to call the fire department. 478 00:19:05,247 --> 00:19:07,748 Sorry, our old-timey fire bell spooked the horses 479 00:19:07,783 --> 00:19:09,050 and they ran away. 480 00:19:09,084 --> 00:19:11,969 You're organic, all-natural lifestyle 481 00:19:12,004 --> 00:19:13,804 has doomed us all! 482 00:19:13,839 --> 00:19:15,206 Then to save us, 483 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,976 we need something incredibly unnatural! 484 00:19:19,011 --> 00:19:23,214 50 gallons of baby formula will put out that blaze. 485 00:19:23,248 --> 00:19:25,716 ♪ 486 00:19:26,752 --> 00:19:28,169 HOMER: Eh... yoik. 487 00:19:28,203 --> 00:19:29,387 Yoik. 488 00:19:29,421 --> 00:19:30,905 Yoik. 489 00:19:30,939 --> 00:19:32,173 Double yoik. 490 00:19:34,026 --> 00:19:35,393 ♪ 491 00:19:35,427 --> 00:19:38,896 The net of scarves and wallet chains is holding! 492 00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:40,998 They're necessary. They're necessary! 493 00:19:41,033 --> 00:19:43,501 They're finally necessary! 494 00:19:43,535 --> 00:19:47,405 ♪ 495 00:19:49,257 --> 00:19:50,725 (loud cheers) 496 00:19:50,759 --> 00:19:52,710 I'm sorry we judged you, Marge. 497 00:19:52,744 --> 00:19:54,712 Your formula saved us all. 498 00:19:54,746 --> 00:19:56,747 I guess I do feel a little bad 499 00:19:56,782 --> 00:19:58,716 about not breast- feeding my kids. 500 00:19:58,750 --> 00:19:59,884 Except Lisa. 501 00:19:59,918 --> 00:20:01,085 I brest-fed Lisa for nine months. 502 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,921 (knocking) 503 00:20:12,681 --> 00:20:14,665 ♪ 504 00:20:17,769 --> 00:20:19,537 I did it, I did it, 505 00:20:19,571 --> 00:20:21,305 I man-hugged! 506 00:20:21,340 --> 00:20:23,341 Daddy, Daddy, I want to go to Krustyburger with Bart 507 00:20:23,375 --> 00:20:24,608 and get a Laffy Meal! 508 00:20:24,643 --> 00:20:26,711 'Cause each Laffy Meal comes with a different toy! 509 00:20:26,745 --> 00:20:28,312 And I got to collect 'em all! 510 00:20:28,347 --> 00:20:29,914 (slurping, smacking) 511 00:20:29,948 --> 00:20:31,882 Check it out! 512 00:20:31,917 --> 00:20:33,484 The New York Times travel section 513 00:20:33,518 --> 00:20:36,554 just named Springfield "America's Coolest City." 514 00:20:36,588 --> 00:20:38,356 See? 515 00:20:38,390 --> 00:20:39,423 (all gasp) 516 00:20:39,458 --> 00:20:42,460 That means Springfield is played out. 517 00:20:42,494 --> 00:20:44,729 (horse neighs) 518 00:20:44,763 --> 00:20:47,048 Please! Please take me with you! 519 00:20:47,082 --> 00:20:48,449 I am one of you! 520 00:20:48,483 --> 00:20:50,735 I understood all your references! 521 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,587 No matter where you go, 522 00:20:53,622 --> 00:20:56,140 I will find you! 523 00:20:56,174 --> 00:21:01,174 == sync, corrected by elderman == 524 00:21:06,908 --> 00:21:10,878 Nuclear energy was a craft before it was a science. 525 00:21:10,912 --> 00:21:13,347 (chuckles): I mean, what's wrong with the old ways? 526 00:21:13,381 --> 00:21:16,216 When uranium came from a stream, 527 00:21:16,251 --> 00:21:19,386 and atoms were split by hand, 528 00:21:19,421 --> 00:21:21,588 then transformed into the kind of electricity 529 00:21:21,623 --> 00:21:23,690 that illuminated not just our homes... 530 00:21:23,725 --> 00:21:26,059 but our souls as well. 531 00:21:26,094 --> 00:21:27,861 Who decided that the electrons we produce 532 00:21:27,896 --> 00:21:30,564 can't stand for something greater? 533 00:21:30,598 --> 00:21:33,884 Sure, handmade electricity costs more and powers less, 534 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:36,203 but maybe that's the point. 535 00:21:36,237 --> 00:21:38,071 (electrical buzz) 536 00:21:38,106 --> 00:21:41,175 The adventure begins. 537 00:21:45,597 --> 00:21:47,648 Shh.