1 00:00:16,361 --> 00:00:19,361 ♪ The Simpsons 24x07 ♪ The Day the Earth Stood Cool Original Air Date on December 9, 2012 2 00:00:19,401 --> 00:00:22,401 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 3 00:00:22,432 --> 00:00:24,063 (Bart laughing) 4 00:00:24,096 --> 00:00:26,165 (children cry out in pain) 5 00:00:26,229 --> 00:00:27,435 (children groaning) 6 00:00:27,466 --> 00:00:29,167 Bart, stop it! 7 00:00:29,604 --> 00:00:30,823 You might fall. 8 00:00:30,854 --> 00:00:34,056 Oh, he's such a cute little rascal. 9 00:00:34,096 --> 00:00:37,290 (thinking) Oh, my God, is she flirting with me? 10 00:00:37,346 --> 00:00:39,797 I can see where he gets his good looks. 11 00:00:39,856 --> 00:00:41,369 She is flirting with me! 12 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,116 Okay, Homer, let her down easy. 13 00:00:43,153 --> 00:00:44,904 Don't go breaking any hearts. 14 00:00:45,072 --> 00:00:47,147 What a lucky little boy to get a trip 15 00:00:47,176 --> 00:00:48,950 to the park with his grandpa. 16 00:00:49,041 --> 00:00:50,354 Grandpa?! 17 00:00:50,477 --> 00:00:52,021 Grandpa?! 18 00:00:52,066 --> 00:00:53,933 (panting loudly) Oh, my God! 19 00:00:53,976 --> 00:00:55,082 Should I call an ambulance? 20 00:00:55,125 --> 00:00:57,328 Help! An old man is dying! 21 00:00:57,363 --> 00:00:59,704 Oh! This boy's grandfather 22 00:00:59,728 --> 00:01:02,490 is a shriveled-up corncob begging for death! 23 00:01:02,594 --> 00:01:04,328 I am his father! 24 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:08,587 I can't believe I allowed you to hit on me! 25 00:01:08,882 --> 00:01:10,127 (quacking) 26 00:01:10,406 --> 00:01:11,547 Beat it, ducks! 27 00:01:11,597 --> 00:01:13,425 I'm not old enough to have food for you! 28 00:01:13,470 --> 00:01:15,761 I'm sexy! Young and sexy! 29 00:01:15,798 --> 00:01:17,015 (ducks quacking) 30 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:17,984 (bird caws) 31 00:01:18,042 --> 00:01:20,299 Old man. I'm not an old man. 32 00:01:20,338 --> 00:01:22,372 This drawing doesn't think I'm old. 33 00:01:22,445 --> 00:01:24,079 Don't you, drawing? 34 00:01:25,254 --> 00:01:27,555 (gasps) Those aren't our regular donuts. 35 00:01:27,590 --> 00:01:29,975 They're huge! With crazy toppings! 36 00:01:30,009 --> 00:01:31,009 HOMER: Gummy worms! 37 00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:32,358 Churro chunks! 38 00:01:32,555 --> 00:01:34,839 Russian nesting donut! 39 00:01:36,416 --> 00:01:38,866 I got to eat the rest! 40 00:01:39,518 --> 00:01:40,719 (yelps) They're gone! 41 00:01:40,753 --> 00:01:43,248 Where did these Devil Donuts come from? 42 00:01:43,315 --> 00:01:44,655 I don't know. The guy who gives 43 00:01:44,686 --> 00:01:46,849 the sexual harassment seminars brought them in. 44 00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:50,215 Actually, Carl, there's no workplace-appropriate use 45 00:01:50,246 --> 00:01:51,653 for the word "bazooms." 46 00:01:51,716 --> 00:01:53,190 What about "thunderbags"? 47 00:01:54,053 --> 00:01:56,120 Get lost, pervs! 48 00:01:57,152 --> 00:01:59,158 Okay, where did you get these donuts?! 49 00:01:59,183 --> 00:02:01,899 From a guy with a cart. It could be anywhere! 50 00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:05,605 CHIEF WIGGUM: 911. What is your emergency? 51 00:02:05,675 --> 00:02:08,890 I'm calling to report a missing donut cart. 52 00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:11,089 (siren wailing) 53 00:02:11,139 --> 00:02:13,672 I'm not seeing anything. Can you get any lower? 54 00:02:13,772 --> 00:02:15,144 But, Chief, the power lines! 55 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:16,580 (whiny): "But, Chief, the power lines." 56 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:17,967 Go lower! 57 00:02:18,437 --> 00:02:20,866 HOMER: Nope. Nope. Nothing. 58 00:02:20,982 --> 00:02:21,851 Nope. 59 00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,408 I see... 60 00:02:23,437 --> 00:02:24,554 devil horns... 61 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:26,717 pitchfork... pointed tail, 62 00:02:26,748 --> 00:02:28,819 hooves are... cloven! 63 00:02:28,858 --> 00:02:30,021 We have logo, people! 64 00:02:30,036 --> 00:02:31,227 We have logo! 65 00:02:33,578 --> 00:02:35,053 Sorry, gents, we're fresh out. 66 00:02:35,078 --> 00:02:37,546 I only make one batch a day. When they're gone, I'm done. 67 00:02:37,643 --> 00:02:39,411 Oh, no more donuts?! 68 00:02:39,644 --> 00:02:41,211 Make more or I shoot! 69 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,096 (panting): I'm not bluffing. Come on. 70 00:02:44,242 --> 00:02:45,376 Hmm. 71 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,067 What have I become? 72 00:02:47,448 --> 00:02:48,661 It's not a good feeling 73 00:02:48,686 --> 00:02:50,090 when you're saying, "what have I become?" 74 00:02:50,112 --> 00:02:51,364 more than once a day. 75 00:02:51,391 --> 00:02:52,829 Mm. Mm-hmm. 76 00:02:55,316 --> 00:02:58,827 Tell you what, I could give you a sneak preview of a new donut 77 00:02:58,856 --> 00:03:01,007 that's still in the R&D phase. 78 00:03:01,035 --> 00:03:04,170 Oh. Beer keg donut?! 79 00:03:04,236 --> 00:03:05,437 (slurps) 80 00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:10,531 I would be honored to shake the hand that glazed this. 81 00:03:10,568 --> 00:03:11,668 I'm Terence. 82 00:03:11,744 --> 00:03:13,783 (softly): Tell me everything about you. 83 00:03:13,825 --> 00:03:15,325 You're from Portland? 84 00:03:15,354 --> 00:03:17,460 I've heard of people being from there. 85 00:03:17,516 --> 00:03:18,710 No, I haven't. 86 00:03:18,761 --> 00:03:21,002 Yeah, but Portland just got too played out. 87 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,633 The city used to be real. 88 00:03:22,697 --> 00:03:24,110 Do you know there are now restaurants there 89 00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:26,593 with two locations? (chuckles) 90 00:03:26,763 --> 00:03:27,957 Not near my kids. 91 00:03:27,997 --> 00:03:30,139 Wait a minute. You have kids? 92 00:03:30,176 --> 00:03:32,398 You can't have kids. Look at you. 93 00:03:32,481 --> 00:03:34,563 You have a fun job, a skull ring-- 94 00:03:34,588 --> 00:03:35,888 and it's not Halloween-- 95 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,950 and your belt is a seat belt! 96 00:03:37,997 --> 00:03:40,548 No one would ever think you're a lame old man. 97 00:03:40,589 --> 00:03:43,627 Ah, you can't let being a dad slow you down. 98 00:03:43,801 --> 00:03:46,376 Me and the fam are doing the whole "urban nomad" thing. 99 00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:48,376 You know, just looking for an undiscovered city 100 00:03:48,408 --> 00:03:49,489 with affordable houses. 101 00:03:49,515 --> 00:03:51,441 (gasps) Our houses are the cheapest! 102 00:03:51,478 --> 00:03:53,628 The one next to me's been on sale forever! 103 00:03:53,652 --> 00:03:56,087 I see them lowering the price every morning 104 00:03:56,115 --> 00:03:57,971 when I go out to pee. 105 00:03:58,785 --> 00:04:00,575 Please. Please rush into this. 106 00:04:00,605 --> 00:04:02,005 Please rush into this. 107 00:04:02,065 --> 00:04:03,432 What a find! 108 00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:05,244 Underneath all the ugly renovations 109 00:04:05,275 --> 00:04:07,243 this house has Neutra bones. 110 00:04:07,284 --> 00:04:09,285 In my house, we found human bones. 111 00:04:09,451 --> 00:04:11,132 Emily and I have always dreamed 112 00:04:11,153 --> 00:04:13,141 of restoring an architectural masterpiece. 113 00:04:13,237 --> 00:04:16,308 I have a graduate degree in Mid-Century Kitsch. 114 00:04:16,383 --> 00:04:18,117 Thanks for turning us on to this place, Homer. 115 00:04:18,327 --> 00:04:19,594 You're a pretty cool guy. 116 00:04:19,628 --> 00:04:22,597 Really? I'm... (gasps) cool?! 117 00:04:22,631 --> 00:04:25,381 Oh, can I man-hug you? 118 00:04:25,442 --> 00:04:26,909 Sure. 119 00:04:27,681 --> 00:04:30,283 (grunts) I don't know how! 120 00:04:32,553 --> 00:04:35,474 Okay, our first hangout with the cool new neighbors. 121 00:04:35,505 --> 00:04:37,768 I've already blown them away-- 122 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,312 their words, I assume-- 123 00:04:39,344 --> 00:04:40,652 so don't screw it up! 124 00:04:40,674 --> 00:04:43,226 Oh, relax, kids. Just be yourselves. 125 00:04:43,295 --> 00:04:46,798 Oh, great, Marge, now that's in their heads! 126 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:49,856 Hey, this is my armadillo, Chewy. 127 00:04:49,891 --> 00:04:52,742 Uh, Mexico Chewy, not Star Wars Chewie. 128 00:04:52,813 --> 00:04:55,581 Star Wars Chewie is just a man in a costume, 129 00:04:55,616 --> 00:04:58,022 so he's not scary. 130 00:04:58,717 --> 00:05:01,453 And this is our baby, Corduroy, (squeals) 131 00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:03,302 and our son, T-Rex. 132 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,654 Yeah, neighbors. Heh, I get it. 133 00:05:05,857 --> 00:05:08,125 T-Rex? Even their names are cool. 134 00:05:08,159 --> 00:05:09,997 Uh, this is, um... 135 00:05:10,028 --> 00:05:14,053 Ice Cream, Bungee Jump, and... Viral Video. 136 00:05:14,169 --> 00:05:15,069 (growls) 137 00:05:16,735 --> 00:05:18,136 - Wow! - Whoa! 138 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,441 BART: Cool. 139 00:05:19,617 --> 00:05:22,160 Look at these obscure card games! 140 00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:23,944 Hey, do you have Uno? 141 00:05:23,998 --> 00:05:26,574 I did, when I was uno. 142 00:05:26,661 --> 00:05:28,624 Check out all these Sergeant Activity dolls! 143 00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:30,829 No, that's Combat Jack, 144 00:05:30,851 --> 00:05:32,739 the original British doll 145 00:05:32,763 --> 00:05:34,932 that Sergeant Activity ripped off. 146 00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:37,932 Fine. You have a weird old version of something. 147 00:05:37,973 --> 00:05:39,265 Let's just watch TV. 148 00:05:39,324 --> 00:05:43,560 Uh, TV? We don't own a TV. 149 00:05:43,591 --> 00:05:45,948 I didn't know that was an option. 150 00:05:45,974 --> 00:05:47,250 I think I'm done here. 151 00:05:47,286 --> 00:05:48,789 Lisa, go nuts. 152 00:05:48,902 --> 00:05:52,056 My dad only lets me watch what's on his queue. 153 00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:55,435 If I don't get off the Cloud Palace, 154 00:05:55,460 --> 00:05:57,085 I'll never get home for school tomorrow, 155 00:05:57,122 --> 00:05:59,885 but the Toad Spirit has Aunt Ginzee! 156 00:05:59,945 --> 00:06:01,145 (gasps) 157 00:06:01,418 --> 00:06:03,419 (humming nervously) 158 00:06:06,585 --> 00:06:09,424 "Scientists prove cat heaven real, 159 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,774 human heaven not!" 160 00:06:10,821 --> 00:06:13,594 (gasps) That's so sad! 161 00:06:13,628 --> 00:06:15,353 Those are joke headlines. 162 00:06:15,427 --> 00:06:17,433 It's not a real newspaper, 163 00:06:17,482 --> 00:06:18,831 it's just satire. 164 00:06:18,885 --> 00:06:21,620 Oh... satire! 165 00:06:23,122 --> 00:06:26,540 And these fake movie reviews are so mean, 166 00:06:26,573 --> 00:06:29,175 it's hilarious! (laughs) 167 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,323 Oh, those are real. 168 00:06:31,689 --> 00:06:33,483 Great paper. 169 00:06:34,386 --> 00:06:35,824 Maggie's a little hungry. 170 00:06:35,878 --> 00:06:37,728 Oh, you can go ahead and feed her. 171 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,822 Corduroy could probably use a snack. 172 00:06:40,642 --> 00:06:41,876 (suckling) 173 00:06:41,910 --> 00:06:45,085 Hmm, that's not applesauce. 174 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,804 Oh, uh, you don't have to be uncomfortable 175 00:06:47,822 --> 00:06:49,379 around another nursing mom. 176 00:06:49,428 --> 00:06:51,963 Breast-feeding's just a healthy thing we all do. 177 00:06:52,047 --> 00:06:53,681 It sure is! 178 00:06:53,866 --> 00:06:57,585 There's nothing more natural than... that. 179 00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:59,454 It's just that Maggie's already... 180 00:06:59,488 --> 00:07:02,688 milked me today. (nervous laugh) 181 00:07:02,908 --> 00:07:04,558 Homer, I think we should go. 182 00:07:04,587 --> 00:07:06,243 We're not like these people. 183 00:07:06,274 --> 00:07:07,249 (gasps) 184 00:07:07,346 --> 00:07:08,352 Check out my new look. 185 00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:10,208 Terence shaved my head. 186 00:07:10,247 --> 00:07:11,897 You're all bald! 187 00:07:11,976 --> 00:07:15,076 No, I'm young-person cool bald! 188 00:07:15,116 --> 00:07:17,250 Not old-person sad bald. 189 00:07:17,297 --> 00:07:19,899 I never want to see these again! 190 00:07:20,859 --> 00:07:22,493 (groans) 191 00:07:27,964 --> 00:07:29,121 Check it out, Flanders! 192 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:32,449 Us cool dads are sharing a mono-yard! 193 00:07:32,474 --> 00:07:34,842 Guess I can't be your best friend anymore. 194 00:07:34,876 --> 00:07:37,595 (chuckles) To be honest, that comes as a tremendous relief. 195 00:07:37,629 --> 00:07:40,082 Boo-hoo-hoo! You could cry all night, 196 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,171 it's not gonna win me back! 197 00:07:44,619 --> 00:07:45,803 (gate creaks) 198 00:07:45,837 --> 00:07:48,812 (gasps) I can finally compost! 199 00:07:49,313 --> 00:07:51,498 (Lisa humming happily) 200 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,638 Maybe we shouldn't rush things with the new neighbors. 201 00:07:54,713 --> 00:07:57,938 You know, we might not all be a perfect match. 202 00:07:57,967 --> 00:07:59,762 I have a plan to deal with that. 203 00:07:59,803 --> 00:08:01,928 Step one: Change everything about ourselves 204 00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,809 until we are super-cool. The end. 205 00:08:03,838 --> 00:08:06,607 But I always thought you were cool. 206 00:08:06,641 --> 00:08:08,366 Honey, I'm not cool. 207 00:08:08,397 --> 00:08:09,629 I was never cool. 208 00:08:09,647 --> 00:08:10,948 I didn't go to college. 209 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:13,746 Every CD I have, I bought at a car wash. 210 00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,598 Black-and-white films make me angry. 211 00:08:15,650 --> 00:08:17,668 I can't pronounce "artisanal." 212 00:08:17,711 --> 00:08:20,449 I only know David Cross from the Chipmunks movie. 213 00:08:20,481 --> 00:08:22,254 Not only do I like Van Halen, 214 00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:24,425 but I think they keep getting better. 215 00:08:24,459 --> 00:08:25,593 Oh... 216 00:08:25,627 --> 00:08:27,228 But if me and my kids do 217 00:08:27,262 --> 00:08:29,296 the same stuff as Terence and his kids, 218 00:08:29,331 --> 00:08:32,182 I could be a cool dad. 219 00:08:32,310 --> 00:08:35,362 Well, sweetie, if it's that important to you, 220 00:08:35,396 --> 00:08:37,161 I guess we can try. 221 00:08:37,881 --> 00:08:40,510 Thanks, baby. Here, have a bracelet 222 00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,729 made of a '70s educational film strip. 223 00:08:42,811 --> 00:08:45,195 Ooh, hygiene! 224 00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:46,775 ♪ Yeah, it's a real cool club 225 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,235 ♪ And you're not part of it 226 00:08:50,456 --> 00:08:52,023 ♪ Yeah, it's a real cool club 227 00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:54,221 ♪ And you'll never be a part of it. ♪ 228 00:08:55,724 --> 00:08:59,562 MARGE: Your father took you to a Korean gangster film festival? 229 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,932 Yeah, it was great! This one guy was part 230 00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:04,263 of another guy's gang-- I mean, kkangpae-- 231 00:09:04,290 --> 00:09:06,300 but then he quit and joined another kkangpae, 232 00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:08,152 and when the guys in the first kkangpae found out, 233 00:09:08,186 --> 00:09:10,124 they were so mad they put his feet in a blender! 234 00:09:10,157 --> 00:09:12,660 Then they cut to a guy eating noodles, and blood splashed on him! 235 00:09:12,711 --> 00:09:15,180 At the art walk, we walked into a gallery, 236 00:09:15,217 --> 00:09:16,792 and it was just a guy crying. 237 00:09:16,842 --> 00:09:18,717 That was the art! 238 00:09:18,797 --> 00:09:19,830 (growls) 239 00:09:19,945 --> 00:09:21,658 The kids are a mess! 240 00:09:21,819 --> 00:09:24,616 You brought them home exhausted and pretentious! 241 00:09:24,663 --> 00:09:27,367 No, we need to take kids to grown-up stuff. 242 00:09:27,427 --> 00:09:30,131 That's Terence's parenting style. 243 00:09:30,183 --> 00:09:32,642 Parenting shouldn't have a style! 244 00:09:32,694 --> 00:09:36,930 Parenting is about bedtimes, and passwords on computers, 245 00:09:37,115 --> 00:09:40,438 and complicated punishments you never follow through on! 246 00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:43,044 Are you wearing a wallet chain? 247 00:09:43,088 --> 00:09:45,472 You look like... a barista! 248 00:09:45,539 --> 00:09:47,358 Well, you won't be laughing when you see 249 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,647 how many pickpockets this thing catches. 250 00:09:49,688 --> 00:09:51,155 And what's with the scarf? 251 00:09:51,202 --> 00:09:53,146 It's soaked in neck sweat! 252 00:09:53,223 --> 00:09:55,623 Wearing scarves in non-scarf weather 253 00:09:55,653 --> 00:09:57,454 is the essence of cool. 254 00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,189 The essence! 255 00:09:59,956 --> 00:10:01,173 Ooh. 256 00:10:02,968 --> 00:10:05,587 Aw, man, my goatee has barely come in! 257 00:10:05,727 --> 00:10:08,562 Why does my hair only grow in twos? 258 00:10:08,590 --> 00:10:11,427 Oh, I hope T-Rex likes the present I made him. 259 00:10:11,454 --> 00:10:14,390 Made? Why didn't you just buy him a toy? 260 00:10:14,436 --> 00:10:18,055 (sighs) Homemade presents are how cool families 261 00:10:18,092 --> 00:10:20,360 demonstrate how awesome they are. 262 00:10:20,401 --> 00:10:23,388 If I show up with a toy... 263 00:10:23,411 --> 00:10:25,346 from the store... 264 00:10:25,380 --> 00:10:28,224 like we would give our kids... 265 00:10:28,374 --> 00:10:29,687 then I've failed! 266 00:10:29,782 --> 00:10:33,824 And these skinny jeans will have flattened my junk for nothing! 267 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,282 (rock playing) 268 00:10:40,061 --> 00:10:42,423 Geez, is this a kid's birthday party, 269 00:10:42,459 --> 00:10:43,695 or the place a bad guy 270 00:10:43,732 --> 00:10:45,482 kidnaps you to in a movie? 271 00:10:45,517 --> 00:10:48,186 Yeah, this factory used to make blimp tires. 272 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:51,450 T-Rex loves decaying industrial-scapes. 273 00:10:51,489 --> 00:10:53,194 I used to. Now I'm into 274 00:10:53,225 --> 00:10:55,171 abandoned ethnic union halls. 275 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:57,344 Come on, dude, this party rocks! 276 00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:59,409 Love the temporary- tattoo station! 277 00:10:59,464 --> 00:11:01,508 (chuckles): Uh, temporary? 278 00:11:01,635 --> 00:11:03,336 I want kitty whiskers! 279 00:11:03,501 --> 00:11:05,235 You got it. 280 00:11:05,518 --> 00:11:08,800 There's got to be a bounce house around here somewhere. 281 00:11:09,058 --> 00:11:12,077 At least maybe a pinata? 282 00:11:12,418 --> 00:11:15,853 (loud suckling) 283 00:11:16,151 --> 00:11:18,052 Holy areola! 284 00:11:18,085 --> 00:11:20,316 Please, join our milk circle. 285 00:11:20,383 --> 00:11:21,596 I'd love to, 286 00:11:21,649 --> 00:11:24,134 but Maggie's a little shy. 287 00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:27,808 Oh, don't worry-- you can use a nursing apron. 288 00:11:28,085 --> 00:11:29,717 Play along. 289 00:11:29,775 --> 00:11:32,844 Oh, this couldn't feel more natural. 290 00:11:32,933 --> 00:11:34,601 Glug, glug, glug. 291 00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:36,197 That's a good little mammal. 292 00:11:38,386 --> 00:11:39,417 (all gasp) 293 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,782 A bottle?! 294 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:41,976 Plastic! 295 00:11:42,010 --> 00:11:43,127 Formula! 296 00:11:43,174 --> 00:11:45,025 That is so wrong. 297 00:11:45,059 --> 00:11:48,962 Fine, I admit it, you nipple Nazis. 298 00:11:48,997 --> 00:11:50,831 I give my baby formula. 299 00:11:50,865 --> 00:11:52,366 (all gasping) 300 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,399 It's okay. If you don't want to breast-feed 301 00:11:54,430 --> 00:11:56,448 your baby, we will. 302 00:11:59,336 --> 00:12:00,586 Stay back. (woman gasp) 303 00:12:00,614 --> 00:12:01,836 You know I'll use this. 304 00:12:01,861 --> 00:12:03,393 Because you saw me using it. 305 00:12:03,428 --> 00:12:05,395 (women whimpering) 306 00:12:05,966 --> 00:12:09,230 Huh, 1950s Pontiac Accordion Camera. 307 00:12:09,278 --> 00:12:12,314 I could always use another one of these. 308 00:12:13,635 --> 00:12:14,929 Bowling shoes. 309 00:12:14,958 --> 00:12:17,393 Not vintage, but you know, in a pinch. 310 00:12:20,421 --> 00:12:21,822 "Dino-Cool" 311 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,949 Oh, I get it-- a T-Rex for the T-Rex. 312 00:12:26,074 --> 00:12:28,119 How long did it take him to think of that one? 313 00:12:28,186 --> 00:12:29,436 (boys laughing) Oh, man. 314 00:12:29,471 --> 00:12:31,922 Hey, my dad worked really hard to make that. 315 00:12:31,947 --> 00:12:34,074 He took a class to learn denim painting. 316 00:12:34,135 --> 00:12:35,436 (sighs) This is so pathetic. 317 00:12:35,461 --> 00:12:38,264 I can't even wear it ironically ironically. 318 00:12:39,845 --> 00:12:42,323 This guy's going on my "Poser Tumblr." 319 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,428 (grunting to music) 320 00:12:44,493 --> 00:12:46,561 (boys laughing) 321 00:12:46,790 --> 00:12:50,184 No one bad mouths my dad except me. 322 00:12:50,225 --> 00:12:51,974 (both grunting) 323 00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:53,787 Hey, dude! 324 00:12:53,984 --> 00:12:55,451 ♪ 325 00:12:57,702 --> 00:12:59,703 My vinyl. My vinyl! 326 00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:02,603 (boys grunting, Marge gasping) 327 00:13:02,643 --> 00:13:04,310 Your son attacked mine. 328 00:13:04,389 --> 00:13:06,154 You've turned this former slaughterhouse 329 00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:07,785 into a place of violence. 330 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,405 I thought it made blimp tires. 331 00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:11,908 Yeah, like factories are never repurposed. 332 00:13:11,967 --> 00:13:13,651 (yells) 333 00:13:13,810 --> 00:13:15,990 It's time for you guys to leave. 334 00:13:16,034 --> 00:13:18,239 Are we still on for midnight bike riding? 335 00:13:18,459 --> 00:13:20,126 (whimpers) 336 00:13:23,455 --> 00:13:26,293 (bell rings) 337 00:13:26,594 --> 00:13:30,449 Feeling included is life's greatest joy. 338 00:13:30,478 --> 00:13:32,329 HOMER: Oh... 339 00:13:35,569 --> 00:13:39,732 (laughing): Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh-ho-ho, boy. 340 00:13:39,871 --> 00:13:42,734 Oh-ho-ho, boy, oh, boy. 341 00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:44,918 Have you been "oh boy" -ing all night? 342 00:13:44,952 --> 00:13:47,722 Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, boy. 343 00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:50,965 We had the family version of a bro-mance going 344 00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:54,349 with our awesome neighbors and you had to screw it up. 345 00:13:54,387 --> 00:13:56,262 Look, that kid threw your present in the garbage, 346 00:13:56,287 --> 00:13:58,588 and he called you a poser, and everyone laughed. 347 00:13:58,658 --> 00:14:00,921 He called me a poser? 348 00:14:00,956 --> 00:14:02,589 Yeah, I was sticking up for you. 349 00:14:02,662 --> 00:14:05,030 You? Sticking up for your old man? 350 00:14:05,224 --> 00:14:07,380 You've never done that before. 351 00:14:07,489 --> 00:14:09,590 Also, I didn't want to tell you, 352 00:14:09,668 --> 00:14:12,283 but that wife and her gang looked down on me 353 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,821 because I don't breast-feed. 354 00:14:13,873 --> 00:14:17,542 What? No one judges my wife's thunderbags. 355 00:14:17,577 --> 00:14:20,512 Well, maybe I was wrong about these people. 356 00:14:20,546 --> 00:14:23,852 Whoever thought a cool person could be a jerk? 357 00:14:24,595 --> 00:14:27,780 (grunts) They can "goatee" hell. 358 00:14:28,191 --> 00:14:30,158 Humph. 359 00:14:31,774 --> 00:14:32,743 Yeah, that's right. 360 00:14:32,761 --> 00:14:34,443 The friendship between the Simpsons 361 00:14:34,477 --> 00:14:37,979 and the whatever-your- last-name-is-es-es is over. 362 00:14:38,014 --> 00:14:40,549 I want my moustache stencils back. 363 00:14:40,908 --> 00:14:41,708 Fine. 364 00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:43,040 Keep 'em. 365 00:14:44,145 --> 00:14:45,946 But you have to give back... 366 00:14:45,998 --> 00:14:47,132 Lisa? 367 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,886 (laughs, sighs) 368 00:14:51,037 --> 00:14:52,437 Mm-hmm. 369 00:14:52,846 --> 00:14:53,768 FLANDERS: I just thought 370 00:14:53,799 --> 00:14:55,361 if we got together we could change 371 00:14:55,386 --> 00:14:57,209 the channel from "The Feud Network" 372 00:14:57,233 --> 00:14:58,800 to "Comity Central." 373 00:14:58,835 --> 00:15:01,353 Could we at least agree to both hate Flanders? 374 00:15:01,398 --> 00:15:03,151 I like him-- he talks in rhyme 375 00:15:03,172 --> 00:15:05,291 and owns a whimsical store in a failing mall. 376 00:15:05,328 --> 00:15:07,141 He's like the dad in a Wes Anderson movie. 377 00:15:07,154 --> 00:15:08,788 Shut up with your names! 378 00:15:08,902 --> 00:15:10,800 Well, we were just questioning the parenting 379 00:15:10,831 --> 00:15:13,681 that lead to Bart not using his words with Tyrannosaurus. 380 00:15:13,783 --> 00:15:15,714 Parenting? (huffs) 381 00:15:15,755 --> 00:15:18,827 Let me tell you "cool parents" something. 382 00:15:18,921 --> 00:15:23,167 Parents are supposed to be lame so their kids have something 383 00:15:23,197 --> 00:15:26,561 to rebel against by becoming cool just long enough 384 00:15:26,596 --> 00:15:30,639 to get married and have kids for whom they are lame. 385 00:15:30,677 --> 00:15:32,839 It's nature's way. 386 00:15:32,881 --> 00:15:35,678 When you're old, your tattoos will be saggy and illegible. 387 00:15:35,738 --> 00:15:38,039 Well, at least I don't put a corporate chemical cocktail 388 00:15:38,074 --> 00:15:39,441 into my child's body. 389 00:15:39,475 --> 00:15:41,700 See? See what I'm dealing with here, Ned? 390 00:15:41,734 --> 00:15:43,956 We invited them here and they repay us 391 00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:45,786 with insults and judgments. 392 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,882 Yes, but there's two sides to every... 393 00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:49,345 Even Flanders agrees. 394 00:15:49,370 --> 00:15:51,708 This is our neighborhood, we were here first 395 00:15:51,739 --> 00:15:52,871 so you should leave. 396 00:15:52,922 --> 00:15:54,222 We're not going anywhere. 397 00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,725 Our house just got written up in Dwell. 398 00:15:56,759 --> 00:15:58,393 HOMER: Oh, no, it's true. 399 00:15:58,428 --> 00:16:00,442 When I humble-brag about this article, 400 00:16:00,473 --> 00:16:03,442 this towns about to get as popular as toe sneakers. 401 00:16:05,518 --> 00:16:07,419 The "us" -types are coming. 402 00:16:07,453 --> 00:16:08,320 Oh. 403 00:16:12,175 --> 00:16:14,176 ♪ 404 00:16:26,439 --> 00:16:27,739 NELSON: Butts! 405 00:16:32,402 --> 00:16:33,503 ♪ 406 00:16:33,529 --> 00:16:36,217 Class, say hello to your new music teachers, 407 00:16:36,273 --> 00:16:37,554 The Decemberists. 408 00:16:37,598 --> 00:16:39,031 (children clapping) 409 00:16:39,303 --> 00:16:41,051 Now, who wants to learn a song 410 00:16:41,078 --> 00:16:43,747 about press-gangs and infanticide? 411 00:16:43,806 --> 00:16:45,173 (children cheering) 412 00:16:46,713 --> 00:16:48,330 Stupid town. 413 00:16:48,394 --> 00:16:50,061 At least I still got Moe's. 414 00:16:50,102 --> 00:16:53,020 Although probably not seeing where this is going. 415 00:16:53,057 --> 00:16:54,424 (tires screech) 416 00:16:55,216 --> 00:16:56,871 (gasps) 417 00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:58,503 What happened here? 418 00:16:58,538 --> 00:16:59,804 I don't know-- everything crappy 419 00:16:59,839 --> 00:17:01,072 about this place, they like. 420 00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,140 Even the rats. 421 00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,281 More manchego, Aziz? 422 00:17:04,312 --> 00:17:07,181 (tires screech) 423 00:17:07,246 --> 00:17:08,697 Oh, Marge, it's bad. 424 00:17:08,731 --> 00:17:10,832 The cool people are everywhere. 425 00:17:10,973 --> 00:17:14,044 Somehow they've even made the weather rainier. 426 00:17:14,077 --> 00:17:16,364 I brought these people to Springfield 427 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:19,004 and now they've taken over. 428 00:17:19,046 --> 00:17:22,782 (bicycle bell ringing) It's a hellhole. 429 00:17:34,695 --> 00:17:38,231 (robot voice): Disco Stu has found a new thing. 430 00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:39,716 What happened to our town? 431 00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:41,876 Everybody wears clothes from the past 432 00:17:41,914 --> 00:17:43,982 and uses computers from the future. 433 00:17:44,004 --> 00:17:46,239 (phone beeps) Where can I buy spats? 434 00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:48,458 Apu's House of Spats. 435 00:17:49,493 --> 00:17:51,160 (tapping) 436 00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,995 Hey, better not attack me again. 437 00:17:54,019 --> 00:17:56,462 My mom gave me a salvaged police whistle. 438 00:17:56,486 --> 00:17:59,320 We had to replace the ball but everything else is stock. 439 00:17:59,353 --> 00:18:01,102 Ah, relax, I'm over it. 440 00:18:01,152 --> 00:18:02,565 Why aren't you at the block party? 441 00:18:02,585 --> 00:18:04,436 (scoffs) Block parties are lame. 442 00:18:04,475 --> 00:18:06,206 Why do you think everything's lame? 443 00:18:06,274 --> 00:18:07,446 I don't know. 444 00:18:07,464 --> 00:18:09,021 I don't get a lot of sleep. 445 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:12,078 I was out really late at an all-ages burlesque show. 446 00:18:12,231 --> 00:18:14,766 Sorry I was mean to your dad. 447 00:18:14,818 --> 00:18:16,744 That's okay-- he is pretty lame. 448 00:18:16,901 --> 00:18:18,276 Hey, want to watch TV? 449 00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:19,276 Real TV? 450 00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,448 With commercials? 451 00:18:20,484 --> 00:18:22,118 Terrible commercials. 452 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,792 But I'm supposed to turn the compost. 453 00:18:24,908 --> 00:18:27,027 Screw that-- it's Krusty time. 454 00:18:38,475 --> 00:18:40,442 ♪ 455 00:18:49,903 --> 00:18:50,987 Okay, you win. 456 00:18:51,021 --> 00:18:52,152 We don't have to be friends, 457 00:18:52,183 --> 00:18:53,915 but can we live on the fringes of your world? 458 00:18:53,963 --> 00:18:55,831 Like those eels that eat whale poop? 459 00:18:55,871 --> 00:18:58,206 (sucks air) Yeah... 460 00:18:58,246 --> 00:19:00,258 Um, we'll talk about it. 461 00:19:00,295 --> 00:19:01,762 That's how we say no. 462 00:19:01,821 --> 00:19:03,573 (sniffing) What's that smell? 463 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,002 Unturned compost and... (sniffing) 464 00:19:06,036 --> 00:19:07,370 Cuban movie posters! 465 00:19:07,404 --> 00:19:08,529 That's our house! 466 00:19:13,416 --> 00:19:15,426 If the flames reach my donut oil, 467 00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:17,054 the whole neighborhood will go up. 468 00:19:17,085 --> 00:19:19,016 (grunts) Hmm? Huh? 469 00:19:19,059 --> 00:19:21,935 Damn it. The community garden's using all the water pressure! 470 00:19:21,993 --> 00:19:23,459 You just had to have local radishes. 471 00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:24,440 Not now, Emily. 472 00:19:24,474 --> 00:19:26,100 Stop your trendy arguing. 473 00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:28,257 I'm trying to call the fire department. 474 00:19:28,373 --> 00:19:30,874 Sorry, our old-timey fire bell spooked the horses 475 00:19:30,921 --> 00:19:32,188 and they ran away. 476 00:19:32,335 --> 00:19:35,233 You're organic, all-natural lifestyle 477 00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:36,839 has doomed us all! 478 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,251 Then to save us, 479 00:19:38,285 --> 00:19:42,021 we need something incredibly unnatural! 480 00:19:42,225 --> 00:19:46,119 50 gallons of baby formula will put out that blaze. 481 00:19:46,293 --> 00:19:48,761 ♪ 482 00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:51,214 HOMER: Eh... yoik. 483 00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,000 Yoik. 484 00:19:53,072 --> 00:19:54,323 Yoik. 485 00:19:54,490 --> 00:19:55,724 Double yoik. 486 00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,438 ♪ 487 00:19:58,472 --> 00:20:01,560 The net of scarves and wallet chains is holding! 488 00:20:01,975 --> 00:20:04,175 They're necessary. They're necessary! 489 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,708 They're finally necessary! 490 00:20:06,729 --> 00:20:10,599 ♪ 491 00:20:12,302 --> 00:20:13,770 (loud cheers) 492 00:20:14,110 --> 00:20:16,061 I'm sorry we judged you, Marge. 493 00:20:16,107 --> 00:20:17,913 Your formula saved us all. 494 00:20:17,991 --> 00:20:20,073 I guess I do feel a little bad 495 00:20:20,111 --> 00:20:22,203 about not breast- feeding my kids. 496 00:20:22,405 --> 00:20:24,004 Except Lisa. 497 00:20:24,450 --> 00:20:27,269 I brest-fed Lisa for nine months. 498 00:20:27,995 --> 00:20:29,796 (knocking) 499 00:20:30,088 --> 00:20:32,072 ♪ 500 00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,712 I did it, I did it, 501 00:20:42,749 --> 00:20:44,483 I man-hugged! 502 00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:46,816 Daddy, Daddy, I want to go to Krustyburger with Bart 503 00:20:46,847 --> 00:20:47,789 and get a Laffy Meal! 504 00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,723 'Cause each Laffy Meal comes with a different toy! 505 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,208 And I got to collect 'em all! 506 00:20:51,232 --> 00:20:52,799 (slurping, smacking) 507 00:20:54,074 --> 00:20:54,987 Check it out! 508 00:20:55,012 --> 00:20:56,528 The New York Times travel section 509 00:20:56,563 --> 00:20:59,903 just named Springfield "America's Coolest City." 510 00:21:00,245 --> 00:21:01,314 See? 511 00:21:01,353 --> 00:21:02,314 (all gasp) 512 00:21:02,351 --> 00:21:05,450 That means Springfield is played out. 513 00:21:05,489 --> 00:21:07,724 (horse neighs) 514 00:21:08,458 --> 00:21:10,380 Please! Please take me with you! 515 00:21:10,429 --> 00:21:11,630 I am one of you! 516 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,923 I understood all your references! 517 00:21:15,115 --> 00:21:16,582 No matter where you go, 518 00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:19,417 I will find you! 519 00:21:20,213 --> 00:21:25,213 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 520 00:21:29,953 --> 00:21:33,753 Nuclear energy was a craft before it was a science. 521 00:21:33,832 --> 00:21:36,547 (chuckles): I mean, what's wrong with the old ways? 522 00:21:36,788 --> 00:21:39,170 When uranium came from a stream, 523 00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:42,349 and atoms were split by hand, 524 00:21:42,428 --> 00:21:44,772 then transformed into the kind of electricity 525 00:21:44,811 --> 00:21:46,878 that illuminated not just our homes... 526 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:48,963 but our souls as well. 527 00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:51,096 Who decided that the electrons we produce 528 00:21:51,126 --> 00:21:52,988 can't stand for something greater? 529 00:21:53,019 --> 00:21:57,060 Sure, handmade electricity costs more and powers less, 530 00:21:57,099 --> 00:21:58,894 but maybe that's the point. 531 00:21:58,931 --> 00:22:00,255 (electrical buzz) 532 00:22:00,807 --> 00:22:03,876 The adventure begins. 533 00:22:09,229 --> 00:22:10,826 Shh.