1
00:00:00,953 --> 00:00:04,355
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:07,008
I think we just polished off
an entire box of wine.
3
00:00:07,042 --> 00:00:09,520
Mm, see that's the dangerous
thing about boxed wine.
4
00:00:09,554 --> 00:00:11,873
You can't really tell how much
you've dranken.
5
00:00:11,907 --> 00:00:13,567
Drinken.
6
00:00:13,601 --> 00:00:15,497
- Drunken?
- Drunk?
7
00:00:15,531 --> 00:00:17,927
Little bit.
[Laughter]
8
00:00:17,962 --> 00:00:19,193
So Cuyahoga river wine
9
00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:22,133
wants us to make
boxed wine classy.
10
00:00:22,167 --> 00:00:23,202
You know what we need is
11
00:00:23,237 --> 00:00:24,637
some snooty celebrity
to endorse it.
12
00:00:24,671 --> 00:00:26,404
Oh, I bet Victoria
would do it.
13
00:00:26,438 --> 00:00:28,502
God knows she's never
said no to wine.
14
00:00:28,537 --> 00:00:29,702
She'd be good.
15
00:00:29,736 --> 00:00:30,870
Hey, how's her Woody Allen
movie going?
16
00:00:30,904 --> 00:00:32,639
Oh, great.
Oh, guess who they just cast?
17
00:00:32,674 --> 00:00:34,109
Emmet Lawson.
18
00:00:34,144 --> 00:00:35,211
- Seriously?
- Yup.
19
00:00:35,245 --> 00:00:36,211
I love that guy!
20
00:00:36,246 --> 00:00:37,345
He's, like, my favorite actor!
21
00:00:37,380 --> 00:00:39,013
They call him
"the actor's actor"!
22
00:00:39,047 --> 00:00:42,081
Why am I yelling?
[Laughs]
23
00:00:42,116 --> 00:00:44,885
Maybe we should call this
"the wine's wine."
24
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:45,920
- Hmm.
- [Gasps]
25
00:00:45,954 --> 00:00:47,855
Or we could do an L.A. trick.
26
00:00:47,889 --> 00:00:50,623
Slap a black label on it,
Jack up the price,
27
00:00:50,657 --> 00:00:52,824
and create
an artificial shortage.
28
00:00:52,859 --> 00:00:54,525
People go crazy for that.
29
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,029
You are so smart.
30
00:00:58,064 --> 00:00:59,698
I'm glad Chloe's out of town.
31
00:00:59,732 --> 00:01:01,399
This is fun doing this
with you.
32
00:01:01,433 --> 00:01:03,334
Just the two of us.
33
00:01:06,138 --> 00:01:08,438
[Cell phone chimes]
34
00:01:08,473 --> 00:01:10,308
Oh, no.
35
00:01:10,342 --> 00:01:11,476
I forgot to call Carmen.
36
00:01:11,510 --> 00:01:12,611
Oh, Carmen.
37
00:01:12,645 --> 00:01:14,679
So you're still dating
that model.
38
00:01:14,714 --> 00:01:17,048
Actually, she's a cheerleader
for the Cavs.
39
00:01:17,082 --> 00:01:20,051
So she's limber as well.
40
00:01:20,086 --> 00:01:21,653
Let me just tell her
I'll be there soon.
41
00:01:21,687 --> 00:01:22,754
Yeah, no.
No problem.
42
00:01:22,789 --> 00:01:24,456
It'll give me a chance
to see
43
00:01:24,490 --> 00:01:26,358
if I missed any texts
from my boyfriend.
44
00:01:26,392 --> 00:01:28,794
Oh! No, five.
45
00:01:30,228 --> 00:01:31,708
I didn't know you
were seeing someone.
46
00:01:31,729 --> 00:01:35,163
Oh, yeah, it's new,
but it's super serious.
47
00:01:35,998 --> 00:01:36,998
What's his name?
48
00:01:38,033 --> 00:01:39,033
Um, it's--
49
00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:42,068
- Uhmit?
You mean, Emmet?
50
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,903
Like, Emmet Lawson?
51
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:47,740
Exactly like Emmet Lawson.
52
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,908
You're dating Emmet Lawson?
53
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,043
Why wouldn't you mention that
54
00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:52,544
when we were just
talking about him?
55
00:01:52,578 --> 00:01:55,514
Because I don't like
to kiss and tell.
56
00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:57,482
And we have done
a lot of kissin',
57
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:59,784
let me tell ya.
58
00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:00,952
Oh, my God.
59
00:02:00,986 --> 00:02:01,952
Do you think you
could ask him
60
00:02:01,987 --> 00:02:02,953
to represent the wine?
61
00:02:02,988 --> 00:02:04,255
Of course I can ask him.
62
00:02:04,289 --> 00:02:05,322
He's my boyfriend.
63
00:02:05,357 --> 00:02:07,558
I ask him questions
all the time.
64
00:02:07,592 --> 00:02:09,393
Wow.
Emmet Lawson.
65
00:02:09,927 --> 00:02:11,061
You're full of surprises.
66
00:02:11,095 --> 00:02:12,062
Yeah.
67
00:02:12,096 --> 00:02:15,532
Sometimes I surprise myself.
68
00:02:16,667 --> 00:02:18,368
You told him what?
69
00:02:18,402 --> 00:02:20,537
I was drunk.
70
00:02:20,571 --> 00:02:21,971
And there's something
about Alec.
71
00:02:22,006 --> 00:02:23,773
Every time he brings up Carmen,
72
00:02:23,807 --> 00:02:25,507
I get all
jealous and panicky,
73
00:02:25,542 --> 00:02:26,909
and I just want
to one-up him.
74
00:02:26,943 --> 00:02:29,111
So do you think you
could talk to Emmet?
75
00:02:29,145 --> 00:02:30,879
You know,
about endorsing the wine?
76
00:02:30,913 --> 00:02:32,380
Are you crazy?
77
00:02:32,414 --> 00:02:34,015
I haven't even met him yet.
78
00:02:34,049 --> 00:02:36,017
And I'm really, really
nervous about it.
79
00:02:36,052 --> 00:02:40,121
He is
the actor's actor's actor.
80
00:02:40,156 --> 00:02:42,323
I think you added an actor.
81
00:02:42,357 --> 00:02:43,791
No, no.
82
00:02:43,825 --> 00:02:45,893
He's the most respected actor
among actor's actors.
83
00:02:45,927 --> 00:02:47,862
He is that good.
84
00:02:47,896 --> 00:02:50,764
Did you know that before he shot
White Fang,
85
00:02:50,798 --> 00:02:53,967
he actually lived with a pack
of wolves for two months?
86
00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:58,104
- Well, that's nuts.
- No, that's method.
87
00:02:58,138 --> 00:02:59,705
There is no way that
I'm going to ask
88
00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:03,675
an actor of his caliber to sell
some cheap boxed wine.
89
00:03:03,710 --> 00:03:04,709
It's not cheap.
90
00:03:04,744 --> 00:03:08,446
It's black label.
Limited edition.
91
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,449
Really?
Where can I get some?
92
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:14,586
You can't.
They only made 50 cases.
93
00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:18,322
I have to have it.
I'll pay double.
94
00:03:18,357 --> 00:03:19,690
I'll see what I can do
95
00:03:19,724 --> 00:03:22,159
if you talk to Emmet about
endorsing the wine.
96
00:03:22,193 --> 00:03:25,429
Why don't you just tell Alec
that you asked Emmet
97
00:03:25,463 --> 00:03:26,730
and he said no?
98
00:03:26,764 --> 00:03:28,498
I mean, boyfriends say "no"
all the time.
99
00:03:28,533 --> 00:03:30,268
Mine don't.
100
00:03:32,303 --> 00:03:35,705
You're not doing it right.
101
00:03:38,575 --> 00:03:41,143
[Cell phone rings]
102
00:03:42,177 --> 00:03:43,712
What were you thinking?
103
00:03:43,746 --> 00:03:47,749
Call me on the disposable.
104
00:03:48,783 --> 00:03:50,218
[Cell phone rings]
105
00:03:50,253 --> 00:03:52,721
Hello, I can't talk right now.
106
00:03:57,727 --> 00:03:59,494
Does this have something
to do
107
00:03:59,528 --> 00:04:01,062
with that money Joy saw?
108
00:04:01,096 --> 00:04:03,731
"Allegedly" saw...
109
00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:05,668
When she was studying.
110
00:04:08,202 --> 00:04:09,670
Morning.
111
00:04:10,404 --> 00:04:11,838
So what do you guys think?
112
00:04:12,373 --> 00:04:15,676
I went shopping
at Forever 21.
113
00:04:15,710 --> 00:04:20,110
I'm guessing
"The Menopause Barn" was closed?
114
00:04:23,951 --> 00:04:26,252
I know somehow you're fitting
into school
115
00:04:26,286 --> 00:04:27,787
even though you haven't changed
your look
116
00:04:27,821 --> 00:04:31,057
since the invention
of the Bedazzler.
117
00:04:31,091 --> 00:04:33,492
But I'm going for something
a little more collegiate.
118
00:04:33,527 --> 00:04:34,760
I just want to blend in.
119
00:04:34,795 --> 00:04:35,861
I don't want people
to look at me
120
00:04:35,895 --> 00:04:37,763
and think,
what's she doing here?
121
00:04:37,797 --> 00:04:38,997
I'm looking at you
and thinking
122
00:04:39,032 --> 00:04:41,933
why is she wearing
that hideous purse?
123
00:04:41,968 --> 00:04:43,234
It's not a purse.
124
00:04:43,268 --> 00:04:45,002
Nobody at school
carries purses anymore.
125
00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:47,371
- This is a messenger bag.
- Hmm.
126
00:04:47,405 --> 00:04:48,804
What do you carry in there?
127
00:04:48,805 --> 00:04:50,305
My purse.
128
00:04:53,805 --> 00:04:59,805
Sync, corrected by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
129
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,284
[Knock on door]
130
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,021
Victoria Chase.
131
00:05:06,256 --> 00:05:08,391
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am--
132
00:05:08,425 --> 00:05:11,059
- Sir Emmet Lawson.
- At your service.
133
00:05:16,061 --> 00:05:18,595
As soon as I saw your name
on the call sheet,
134
00:05:18,630 --> 00:05:20,058
I rushed over
to say hello
135
00:05:20,092 --> 00:05:22,198
because I'm a huge fan
of your work.
136
00:05:22,233 --> 00:05:24,000
Oh.
I am hugely thrilled
137
00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:26,802
that one of the world's most
celebrated actors
138
00:05:26,837 --> 00:05:29,972
actually watched my little Emmy
award-winning performance
139
00:05:30,006 --> 00:05:32,107
on Edge of Tomorrow.
140
00:05:32,141 --> 00:05:33,408
Actually,
I was referring
141
00:05:33,442 --> 00:05:36,144
to your many Lifetime Original movies.
142
00:05:36,178 --> 00:05:40,578
Pageant Mom Murder,
The Two Mrs. Finklesteins,
143
00:05:41,084 --> 00:05:44,919
A Kidney For Sister Sarah.
144
00:05:44,954 --> 00:05:47,655
Every one, a precious jewel.
145
00:05:47,689 --> 00:05:49,490
Well, I am just thrilled
146
00:05:49,524 --> 00:05:52,959
that we get to play together
and with Woody Allen.
147
00:05:52,994 --> 00:05:54,827
But what if
it's one of his bad ones?
148
00:05:55,362 --> 00:05:59,064
Melinda and Melinda?
No, thank you. No, thank you.
149
00:05:59,098 --> 00:06:01,666
It can't possibly be bad
if we're in it.
150
00:06:01,701 --> 00:06:03,634
Excellent point.
151
00:06:03,669 --> 00:06:07,270
You know, I believe you and I
are going
152
00:06:07,305 --> 00:06:11,174
to become great friends.
153
00:06:15,995 --> 00:06:17,948
Would you wear this?
154
00:06:19,982 --> 00:06:21,350
I might tie it around
my finger
155
00:06:21,384 --> 00:06:23,418
if I needed to remember
something.
156
00:06:26,156 --> 00:06:27,389
It's a gift for Carmen.
157
00:06:27,423 --> 00:06:28,790
We're headed to Cozumel
for a long weekend.
158
00:06:28,825 --> 00:06:30,626
Really?
159
00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:32,728
Well, uh, me and Emmet
are going away
160
00:06:32,762 --> 00:06:34,229
for the long weekend too.
161
00:06:34,264 --> 00:06:35,731
Only we're not gonna
need bathing suits
162
00:06:35,765 --> 00:06:37,767
'cause we're gonna be naked.
163
00:06:38,801 --> 00:06:40,769
So naked.
164
00:06:40,804 --> 00:06:42,138
Why are you telling me this?
165
00:06:42,672 --> 00:06:45,141
I really don't know.
166
00:06:45,175 --> 00:06:48,178
Hey, um, listen.
About the other night...
167
00:06:48,212 --> 00:06:49,279
I know we'd been drinking,
168
00:06:49,314 --> 00:06:51,148
and we were having fun--
a lot of fun.
169
00:06:51,182 --> 00:06:53,784
- Mm-hmm.
- But I want to apologize.
170
00:06:53,818 --> 00:06:56,086
I don't think I was being
entirely professional.
171
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,356
I mean, we're both
in committed relationships.
172
00:06:59,391 --> 00:07:00,791
Right?
173
00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:02,259
Right.
174
00:07:02,294 --> 00:07:04,195
Big time.
175
00:07:04,229 --> 00:07:05,363
So we're good?
176
00:07:05,397 --> 00:07:06,664
Yeah.
177
00:07:06,998 --> 00:07:08,466
Oh, hey.
178
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:09,734
What did Emmet say about
endorsing the wine?
179
00:07:09,768 --> 00:07:12,236
Oh, yeah.
I asked him and he said no.
180
00:07:12,270 --> 00:07:16,206
You know, sometimes boyfriends
say "no."
181
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,141
Hey, what if you brought him
by here for lunch?
182
00:07:18,175 --> 00:07:20,177
I know I could persuade him.
183
00:07:20,211 --> 00:07:21,812
I mean, not to brag,
but people have
184
00:07:21,847 --> 00:07:23,180
a hard time saying no to me.
185
00:07:23,215 --> 00:07:24,181
What do you say?
186
00:07:24,416 --> 00:07:25,651
Okay.
187
00:07:26,985 --> 00:07:28,152
Okay.
188
00:07:30,822 --> 00:07:32,523
I did it again.
189
00:07:32,558 --> 00:07:35,493
I told Alec that I would bring
Emmet by for lunch.
190
00:07:35,527 --> 00:07:37,729
Why on earth would you
do that?
191
00:07:37,763 --> 00:07:39,698
I don't know,
I just like him so much
192
00:07:39,732 --> 00:07:42,132
I can't help but lie to him.
193
00:07:44,737 --> 00:07:46,872
- You know how it is.
- Yeah, yeah, I do.
194
00:07:47,406 --> 00:07:49,307
And actually,
I might be able
195
00:07:49,342 --> 00:07:50,708
to talk to Emmet
for you.
196
00:07:50,743 --> 00:07:52,677
It turns out that
we have a lot in common.
197
00:07:52,711 --> 00:07:55,447
He's a huge fan of my work.
198
00:07:55,481 --> 00:07:58,016
[Laughs]
Why?
199
00:07:58,051 --> 00:08:00,619
I mean, great.
Not surprising at all.
200
00:08:00,653 --> 00:08:02,257
So not shocked.
201
00:08:04,892 --> 00:08:06,659
I hate school,
and I'm never going back,
202
00:08:06,693 --> 00:08:08,095
and you can't make me.
203
00:08:09,629 --> 00:08:11,297
Honey, what happened?
204
00:08:11,331 --> 00:08:13,431
No one makes any attempt
to talk to me
205
00:08:13,465 --> 00:08:15,366
or acknowledge my existence.
206
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,769
They're all so cool with their
piercings and tattoos.
207
00:08:18,804 --> 00:08:20,071
Well, at least you got Elka.
208
00:08:20,105 --> 00:08:22,505
She's one of the mean girls.
209
00:08:24,977 --> 00:08:26,745
I saw her with
her study group friends,
210
00:08:26,779 --> 00:08:28,613
and they totally snubbed me.
211
00:08:28,647 --> 00:08:30,115
Now, Joy,
I'm gonna tell you
212
00:08:30,149 --> 00:08:31,316
what I used to tell my kids
213
00:08:31,350 --> 00:08:33,317
when they had a problem
like this.
214
00:08:33,352 --> 00:08:35,653
Talk to your therapist,
Mommy's in a movie.
215
00:08:38,490 --> 00:08:39,824
[Knock on door]
Victoria.
216
00:08:39,859 --> 00:08:40,992
Oh, it's Emmet.
217
00:08:41,026 --> 00:08:42,762
We just got our script,
218
00:08:42,796 --> 00:08:44,296
and I asked him to come by
to run lines.
219
00:08:44,331 --> 00:08:47,133
- You call for me?
- Oh, Sir Emmet Lawson. Hello.
220
00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:48,801
I would like to introduce you
to my friends--
221
00:08:48,836 --> 00:08:51,237
Why would I want to be
in the same trailer as you,
222
00:08:51,271 --> 00:08:53,075
let alone the same universe?
223
00:08:55,109 --> 00:08:56,076
I'm sorry?
224
00:08:56,110 --> 00:08:57,811
You're sorry?
Typical.
225
00:08:57,845 --> 00:08:59,746
You're always sorry,
aren't you?
226
00:08:59,781 --> 00:09:02,783
Well, I'm sorry
I ever met you.
227
00:09:02,817 --> 00:09:04,251
I don't understand.
228
00:09:04,285 --> 00:09:07,520
No.
You never do.
229
00:09:07,554 --> 00:09:09,722
[Door slams]
230
00:09:10,792 --> 00:09:12,226
What was that?
231
00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:14,196
I don't know.
232
00:09:14,731 --> 00:09:16,767
You didn't ask him
about lunch.
233
00:09:23,086 --> 00:09:24,966
I don't understand
what just happened.
234
00:09:25,088 --> 00:09:27,156
This morning
he was my biggest fan
235
00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:28,690
and now he hates me.
236
00:09:28,725 --> 00:09:31,360
What's odd is he said
you "always" do this.
237
00:09:31,394 --> 00:09:32,995
How could you "always"
do anything
238
00:09:33,029 --> 00:09:34,029
if you've only just met him?
239
00:09:34,064 --> 00:09:35,531
I don't know,
and I have no idea
240
00:09:35,565 --> 00:09:37,900
why he's acting this way.
241
00:09:38,234 --> 00:09:40,469
Acting.
242
00:09:40,503 --> 00:09:43,472
In the script he's
my ex-husband, who hates me.
243
00:09:43,507 --> 00:09:46,208
Now, maybe he's doing that
whole method acting thing,
244
00:09:46,243 --> 00:09:48,044
and he's just treating me
like his ex-wife.
245
00:09:48,078 --> 00:09:50,146
- Oh, of course.
- That's it.
246
00:09:50,181 --> 00:09:52,315
Yeah, but what if it's not?
247
00:09:52,349 --> 00:09:54,082
What if he just hates me?
248
00:09:54,117 --> 00:09:56,751
I can't go through the next
three months not knowing.
249
00:09:56,786 --> 00:09:58,053
Well, you're gonna have to
250
00:09:58,087 --> 00:10:01,022
unless Woody magically decides
to rewrite the movie
251
00:10:01,056 --> 00:10:03,558
and turns your characters
into a loving couple.
252
00:10:05,494 --> 00:10:08,964
Interesting.
253
00:10:08,998 --> 00:10:10,766
I was saying that
as an example
254
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,701
of something that's not
going to happen.
255
00:10:12,736 --> 00:10:13,702
Yeah, but--
256
00:10:13,737 --> 00:10:15,371
but what if I wrote a scene
257
00:10:15,405 --> 00:10:16,605
where our characters get along
258
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,140
and I slipped it
into Emmet's script
259
00:10:18,175 --> 00:10:20,243
and that way I'll find out
if he hates me
260
00:10:20,277 --> 00:10:22,045
or if he's just being method.
261
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:23,914
And once I find out,
262
00:10:23,948 --> 00:10:26,216
then I just make the improved
script go away.
263
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,418
Really?
You're seriously considering
264
00:10:28,452 --> 00:10:31,987
rewriting Woody Allen?
265
00:10:32,021 --> 00:10:34,790
She already referred to it
as an "improved" scene.
266
00:10:34,825 --> 00:10:36,926
It's not like it's gonna be
in the movie.
267
00:10:37,361 --> 00:10:39,996
Although one never knows.
268
00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:41,964
Do you even know how to write?
269
00:10:41,999 --> 00:10:43,266
Well, of course.
270
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:47,037
You forget I was married
to Aaron Sorkin's cousin.
271
00:10:47,071 --> 00:10:50,471
And I wrote
my own Wikipedia bio.
272
00:10:51,642 --> 00:10:55,311
And I just put a pencil
behind my ear.
273
00:10:58,348 --> 00:11:00,583
Were any of those a "yes?"
274
00:11:02,352 --> 00:11:04,587
[Laughter]
275
00:11:05,221 --> 00:11:05,989
Oh.
276
00:11:06,023 --> 00:11:07,857
Hi, Joy.
[Door closes]
277
00:11:07,892 --> 00:11:09,728
Hi.
Joy Scroggs.
278
00:11:13,097 --> 00:11:15,131
From economics.
279
00:11:15,166 --> 00:11:16,600
Hey, what's up?
280
00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:19,003
Just chillaxin'.
Keeping it real.
281
00:11:19,037 --> 00:11:22,440
Gettin' my homework on.
282
00:11:22,475 --> 00:11:25,944
Oh, geez.
283
00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:29,448
So... What were you
laughing about?
284
00:11:29,483 --> 00:11:31,718
Elka says there's some girl
who carries a purse
285
00:11:31,753 --> 00:11:33,221
inside her messenger bag.
286
00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:40,662
Oh, how sad and random.
287
00:11:40,697 --> 00:11:43,165
It's so hot in here.
288
00:11:43,199 --> 00:11:44,400
Whoo.
289
00:11:44,434 --> 00:11:46,369
What's on your neck?
290
00:11:46,403 --> 00:11:49,371
Oh, this?
I just got inked.
291
00:11:49,406 --> 00:11:51,073
You got a tattoo?
292
00:11:51,107 --> 00:11:53,141
It's oozing pus.
293
00:11:54,877 --> 00:11:57,813
Spider said there might be
some weeping.
294
00:11:57,847 --> 00:11:59,181
It's pretty gross.
295
00:11:59,216 --> 00:12:00,816
You have to keep disinfectant
on it.
296
00:12:00,851 --> 00:12:01,918
The same thing happened
297
00:12:01,952 --> 00:12:04,056
when my mom got
her mid-life tattoo.
298
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,490
Did you just turn 50?
299
00:12:08,566 --> 00:12:12,068
Now we're gonna see
some weeping.
300
00:12:14,605 --> 00:12:15,872
[Voice mail beeps]
301
00:12:15,907 --> 00:12:17,875
Hey, Melanie.
It's me.
302
00:12:17,909 --> 00:12:19,943
Our experiment didn't work.
303
00:12:19,978 --> 00:12:21,913
I dropped off the fake scene,
304
00:12:21,947 --> 00:12:23,848
but I haven't seen Emmet
all day.
305
00:12:23,882 --> 00:12:25,383
You should probably
just tell Alec
306
00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:27,718
that you and Emmet broke up.
307
00:12:27,753 --> 00:12:28,753
[Knock on door]
308
00:12:30,289 --> 00:12:31,789
Victoria.
309
00:12:31,824 --> 00:12:33,891
I'm so glad you're here.
310
00:12:33,925 --> 00:12:35,759
[Door closes]
Really? You are?
311
00:12:35,794 --> 00:12:37,461
Oh, did--did you get
the new scene?
312
00:12:37,496 --> 00:12:39,630
I did which is why
I'm quitting the movie.
313
00:12:39,665 --> 00:12:41,465
What?
314
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,435
It's hands down
the worst thing I've ever read.
315
00:12:44,469 --> 00:12:46,137
Rife with spelling errors,
316
00:12:46,171 --> 00:12:47,405
makes no sense at all.
317
00:12:47,439 --> 00:12:49,507
Definitely one of Woody's
bad ones.
318
00:12:49,541 --> 00:12:51,442
I thought the scene was quite
brilliant.
319
00:12:51,477 --> 00:12:52,510
Bollocks.
320
00:12:52,544 --> 00:12:54,278
It's even worse than
that play
321
00:12:54,313 --> 00:12:56,014
Aaron Sorkin's cousin wrote.
322
00:12:57,049 --> 00:12:58,016
No.
323
00:12:58,050 --> 00:12:59,351
Woody's obviously lost it.
324
00:12:59,385 --> 00:13:01,820
I suggest you call your agent
and get off this movie
325
00:13:01,854 --> 00:13:02,820
before you get fired.
326
00:13:02,855 --> 00:13:03,922
Fired?
327
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,591
The scene calls
for your role
328
00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:08,260
to be played by
a stunning 30-something.
329
00:13:08,294 --> 00:13:10,362
Obviously, he's going
to recast you.
330
00:13:11,764 --> 00:13:14,099
I could pass
for 30-something.
331
00:13:14,134 --> 00:13:16,135
Oh, sweet Victoria.
332
00:13:16,169 --> 00:13:19,138
I'm so pleased you haven't lost
your sense of humor
333
00:13:19,172 --> 00:13:20,639
through all of this.
334
00:13:21,474 --> 00:13:23,076
I bid you adieu.
335
00:13:23,110 --> 00:13:24,510
[Kiss]
336
00:13:24,545 --> 00:13:28,381
I'm sure our paths
will cross again.
337
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:31,084
Wait!
338
00:13:31,118 --> 00:13:32,652
I wrote that scene.
339
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:34,454
Come again?
340
00:13:34,489 --> 00:13:37,858
Being on this movie is
a dream come true for me.
341
00:13:37,892 --> 00:13:39,960
I have such enormous respect
for you,
342
00:13:39,994 --> 00:13:42,295
and I'm just very insecure
343
00:13:42,329 --> 00:13:44,998
about working with an actor
of your caliber.
344
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,166
And I-I just needed
to know that
345
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,902
it wasn't you hating me,
it was the method.
346
00:13:48,936 --> 00:13:52,707
You darling little lunatic.
347
00:13:52,741 --> 00:13:54,008
Please tell me
you won't quit.
348
00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:55,143
Please tell me
you won't write.
349
00:13:55,177 --> 00:13:56,712
Deal.
350
00:13:57,246 --> 00:13:59,448
And I know that you have to go
back into character,
351
00:13:59,482 --> 00:14:02,418
and I promise that I won't take
it personally.
352
00:14:02,452 --> 00:14:04,586
Well, we'll see
if I can't adjust my methods
353
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,221
so I'm not quite so gruff,
hmm?
354
00:14:06,256 --> 00:14:08,924
Thank you.
355
00:14:08,958 --> 00:14:11,627
It's just fear, you know.
356
00:14:11,661 --> 00:14:13,662
The whole immersing myself
into the character thing.
357
00:14:13,697 --> 00:14:15,230
That way,
if the performance fails,
358
00:14:15,265 --> 00:14:18,267
it's the character's fault,
not my own.
359
00:14:18,302 --> 00:14:20,670
That is so honest.
360
00:14:20,704 --> 00:14:22,238
And deep.
361
00:14:22,272 --> 00:14:24,540
I know.
362
00:14:24,575 --> 00:14:25,642
But because of that,
363
00:14:25,676 --> 00:14:26,916
I'm often labeled as difficult.
364
00:14:26,944 --> 00:14:28,011
I understand.
365
00:14:28,045 --> 00:14:30,648
People say that
I'm difficult too.
366
00:14:30,682 --> 00:14:33,784
But beyond my hysterical demands
for a larger trailer,
367
00:14:33,819 --> 00:14:37,187
I'm just a little girl looking
for love.
368
00:14:37,222 --> 00:14:39,123
Thank you for sharing that.
369
00:14:40,192 --> 00:14:41,392
You know,
370
00:14:41,426 --> 00:14:43,327
I believe you and I
are two sides
371
00:14:43,361 --> 00:14:44,694
of the same coin.
372
00:14:44,729 --> 00:14:48,932
A very rare
and beautiful coin.
373
00:14:55,148 --> 00:14:57,550
Well, I suppose
all your friends are out there
374
00:14:57,584 --> 00:14:59,919
having a nice laugh about me
right now.
375
00:14:59,953 --> 00:15:02,622
Look, you're at an awkward
age for college.
376
00:15:02,656 --> 00:15:03,656
That's all.
377
00:15:03,657 --> 00:15:04,790
What about you?
378
00:15:04,825 --> 00:15:05,791
They all love you.
379
00:15:05,826 --> 00:15:07,593
Because I'm 90.
380
00:15:07,628 --> 00:15:09,795
I'm a novelty.
381
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:14,480
I'm also genuinely cool.
382
00:15:14,885 --> 00:15:17,053
And I'm their mum's age.
383
00:15:17,087 --> 00:15:19,289
No one wants their mum
hanging out with them,
384
00:15:19,323 --> 00:15:20,790
or worse, acting like them.
385
00:15:20,824 --> 00:15:24,060
- You can't take it personally.
- Of course not.
386
00:15:24,094 --> 00:15:25,628
I guess I just have
to accept
387
00:15:25,662 --> 00:15:27,796
that the social part of college
won't be for me.
388
00:15:27,831 --> 00:15:28,798
[Chuckles]
389
00:15:28,832 --> 00:15:30,833
Well, you're not missing much.
390
00:15:30,867 --> 00:15:33,869
In my day,
we knew how to party.
391
00:15:33,904 --> 00:15:37,540
Well, you certainly left
a mess at Stonehenge.
392
00:15:39,109 --> 00:15:42,044
This is why I can't
be nice to you.
393
00:15:48,086 --> 00:15:50,521
Hey, guys.
Zack texted me.
394
00:15:50,555 --> 00:15:52,222
- What did he say?
- [Exhales]
395
00:15:52,257 --> 00:15:54,524
He wants me to come to
his dorm room and hang out.
396
00:15:54,559 --> 00:15:58,295
Is this the guy you hooked up
with a couple of weeks ago
397
00:15:58,330 --> 00:15:59,597
who never called back?
398
00:16:00,131 --> 00:16:01,500
Yes.
399
00:16:02,434 --> 00:16:04,903
You know, maybe...
400
00:16:04,937 --> 00:16:06,905
He's looking for something
serious after all.
401
00:16:06,940 --> 00:16:09,274
Oh, dear God.
402
00:16:09,609 --> 00:16:11,009
What?
403
00:16:11,544 --> 00:16:13,145
Look, it's none
of my business,
404
00:16:13,179 --> 00:16:15,581
but that's not someone looking
for something serious.
405
00:16:15,615 --> 00:16:18,317
That's a booty call,
plain and simple.
406
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:20,620
Just sayin'.
407
00:16:20,654 --> 00:16:22,021
You don't even know Zack.
408
00:16:22,055 --> 00:16:23,419
How do I look?
409
00:16:23,453 --> 00:16:24,785
Doesn't matter how you look.
410
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:26,186
Zack wants you to come there
and take your clothes off.
411
00:16:26,221 --> 00:16:28,888
That's how
he wants you to look.
412
00:16:28,923 --> 00:16:31,257
In economics, when something
is in demand,
413
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,558
what is the quickest way
to diminish its value?
414
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:36,027
- Flood the market.
- Exactly.
415
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:37,694
And if you go over
to Zach's dorm
416
00:16:37,729 --> 00:16:39,129
based on
a let's-hang-out text,
417
00:16:39,163 --> 00:16:42,032
what do you think that's
gonna do to your value?
418
00:16:42,066 --> 00:16:43,099
Make it plummet.
419
00:16:43,134 --> 00:16:44,767
Precisely.
420
00:16:44,802 --> 00:16:47,437
It's a classic example
of Keynesian theories
421
00:16:47,471 --> 00:16:49,072
of market fungibility.
422
00:16:49,106 --> 00:16:52,609
Hey, I understand economics.
423
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,480
Can I ask you something?
424
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,816
What if a guy tells you
he can't see you because--
425
00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:00,418
He's lying.
426
00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:01,652
How do you know?
427
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,454
Because if a guy really wants
to see you,
428
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:05,290
he will find a way
to see you.
429
00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:06,291
What if a guy said he wants
430
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:07,525
to take a break
for a little while?
431
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,660
Oh, cut him loose.
432
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:09,861
He's already banging
your roommate.
433
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:11,829
Next.
[Overlapping chatter]
434
00:17:11,863 --> 00:17:12,830
No, no, no, no.
435
00:17:12,864 --> 00:17:14,098
One at a time,
one at a time.
436
00:17:16,823 --> 00:17:18,107
Is that all you're taking?
437
00:17:18,141 --> 00:17:20,142
Ah, it's a beach vacation.
You don't need much.
438
00:17:20,177 --> 00:17:21,377
Yeah?
439
00:17:21,412 --> 00:17:22,513
Well, Emmet and I aren't packing
much either
440
00:17:22,547 --> 00:17:25,648
'cause we're going
on an all-nude snowboarding--
441
00:17:25,683 --> 00:17:27,650
ugh, never mind.
442
00:17:27,685 --> 00:17:29,352
So is Emmet coming by?
443
00:17:29,387 --> 00:17:31,254
Yeah, that's what I came
to talk to you about.
444
00:17:31,288 --> 00:17:32,255
See, um,
445
00:17:32,589 --> 00:17:34,290
Emmet and I broke up.
446
00:17:34,325 --> 00:17:35,960
Melanie, my love!
447
00:17:37,595 --> 00:17:40,096
E-Emmet Lawson.
Oh, my God.
448
00:17:40,131 --> 00:17:43,033
I mean, uh, hello.
My lover.
449
00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:47,467
I mean, I thought I dumped you,
buddy.
450
00:17:48,005 --> 00:17:50,240
Melanie, my sweet.
451
00:17:50,274 --> 00:17:52,642
Don't break up
with me, please.
452
00:17:52,676 --> 00:17:55,145
Give me another chance
to win your heart.
453
00:17:55,179 --> 00:17:57,414
Okay.
454
00:17:57,449 --> 00:17:59,250
I'm so glad you're here,
Mr. Lawson.
455
00:17:59,284 --> 00:18:01,151
Oh, please.
Mr. Lawson is my father.
456
00:18:01,186 --> 00:18:03,621
I am Sir Emmet.
457
00:18:03,655 --> 00:18:04,955
And you must be Alec,
458
00:18:04,989 --> 00:18:07,824
purveyor of fine wine served
in cardboard.
459
00:18:07,859 --> 00:18:09,093
It's a pleasure
to meet you.
460
00:18:09,127 --> 00:18:10,628
I would love for you
to try our wine.
461
00:18:10,662 --> 00:18:11,729
Do you have a second?
462
00:18:11,763 --> 00:18:13,364
Well, as Peter O'Toole
once said to me,
463
00:18:13,398 --> 00:18:15,332
"Emmet, never turn down free--"
464
00:18:15,367 --> 00:18:17,334
and then he passed out.
465
00:18:17,369 --> 00:18:19,570
But I'm sure he was gonna
say "wine."
466
00:18:22,441 --> 00:18:25,043
[Quietly] Oh, my God.
What are you doing here?
467
00:18:25,077 --> 00:18:27,312
Victoria brought me up
to speed on the whole story.
468
00:18:27,346 --> 00:18:29,681
Oh, if he brings up
nude snowboarding,
469
00:18:29,715 --> 00:18:31,416
act like it's a real thing.
470
00:18:31,450 --> 00:18:33,018
I've done it.
471
00:18:33,052 --> 00:18:34,686
Really?
472
00:18:34,721 --> 00:18:36,622
- That's acting.
- Oh.
473
00:18:38,358 --> 00:18:39,659
So glad you're here.
474
00:18:39,693 --> 00:18:41,460
I am such a huge fan
of your work.
475
00:18:41,494 --> 00:18:43,830
As am I.
476
00:18:43,864 --> 00:18:46,265
Now pull open the valve
on that carton
477
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:48,801
and let us drink deeply
from Bacchus' treasure.
478
00:18:50,636 --> 00:18:52,538
Now the beauty of
Cuyahoga river wine--
479
00:18:52,572 --> 00:18:54,472
Let's let the wine
do the talking.
480
00:18:57,176 --> 00:18:59,110
I love it.
I will endorse this wine.
481
00:18:59,845 --> 00:19:01,479
That's fantastic news.
482
00:19:01,513 --> 00:19:03,915
This is my agent.
You are aware of my fees.
483
00:19:03,949 --> 00:19:05,283
I imagine they're high.
484
00:19:05,317 --> 00:19:08,185
I wouldn't be bringing it up
if they were low.
485
00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:09,386
Thank you.
I'll call him.
486
00:19:09,421 --> 00:19:10,421
Now I hate to run,
487
00:19:10,455 --> 00:19:11,991
but I've got a plane
to catch.
488
00:19:13,525 --> 00:19:14,792
And--and listen,
489
00:19:14,826 --> 00:19:16,193
I can't you enough
for your time.
490
00:19:16,227 --> 00:19:17,728
Anything for my Melanie.
491
00:19:17,762 --> 00:19:20,163
I am a lucky man,
aren't I?
492
00:19:21,165 --> 00:19:24,134
You most certainly are.
493
00:19:27,637 --> 00:19:28,805
Thank you!
494
00:19:28,839 --> 00:19:30,507
And I'm Melanie by the way.
495
00:19:30,541 --> 00:19:32,376
Sir Emmet Lawson
at your service.
496
00:19:33,410 --> 00:19:35,012
- [Giggles]
- You really like this guy, huh?
497
00:19:35,046 --> 00:19:36,113
Oh, yeah.
498
00:19:36,147 --> 00:19:37,848
And it's really so stupid
499
00:19:37,882 --> 00:19:39,750
because he's totally involved
with another woman.
500
00:19:39,784 --> 00:19:40,818
And I can't get him out
of my head.
501
00:19:40,852 --> 00:19:42,052
And then
I come here every day,
502
00:19:42,053 --> 00:19:43,854
and he's
all I think about.
503
00:19:43,889 --> 00:19:45,890
I know a little
of what you speak.
504
00:19:45,924 --> 00:19:47,191
You do?
505
00:19:47,225 --> 00:19:49,326
When I spent all those months
living with the wolves,
506
00:19:49,361 --> 00:19:51,529
there was
this one blue-eyed beauty
507
00:19:51,563 --> 00:19:53,864
that really caught my eye.
508
00:19:54,499 --> 00:19:55,733
One of the wolves?
509
00:19:55,767 --> 00:19:56,900
Of course not.
510
00:19:56,935 --> 00:19:58,168
My costar, Cameron Diaz.
511
00:19:58,202 --> 00:19:59,669
What's wrong with you?
512
00:20:01,105 --> 00:20:03,807
Hey.
I saw your boss in the hallway.
513
00:20:03,841 --> 00:20:04,908
He is cute.
514
00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:07,077
Really?
In--in the hallway?
515
00:20:07,112 --> 00:20:09,780
- When?
- Just now outside the door.
516
00:20:09,814 --> 00:20:11,815
Oh, my God.
What if he heard us?
517
00:20:11,850 --> 00:20:15,519
Victoria, do that thing where we
check if someone can hear.
518
00:20:15,553 --> 00:20:16,720
[Door closes]
519
00:20:16,754 --> 00:20:17,754
If she can hear
what I'm saying,
520
00:20:17,789 --> 00:20:19,223
I am totally screwed.
521
00:20:19,757 --> 00:20:21,725
You are totally screwed.
522
00:20:21,726 --> 00:20:27,225
Sync, corrected by Alice
www.addic7ed.com