﻿1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,770
<font color="#00FF00">♪ The Simpsons 24x08 ♪</font>
<font color="#00FFFF">To Cur With Love (Alternate Cut)</font>
Original Air Date on December 23, 2012

2
00:00:03,790 --> 00:00:04,504
Ho, ho, ho!

3
00:00:04,529 --> 00:00:06,036
== sync, corrected by <font color="#00ff00">elderman</font> ==

4
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:30,376
You shut up!

5
00:01:24,614 --> 00:01:26,801
Welcome to the Montgomery
Burns Prize,

6
00:01:26,901 --> 00:01:31,025
rewarding excellence,
in the field of alternative energy.

7
00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:34,305
Local inventors are vying for a
million dollar stipend donated

8
00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:37,008
by C. Montgomery Burns, as part
of a court settlement

9
00:01:37,033 --> 00:01:39,993
for causing one billion dollars
of environmental damage.

10
00:01:40,093 --> 00:01:42,812
Shoo. Go have one
of your enormous litters.

11
00:01:45,331 --> 00:01:47,265
First inventor,
you, bus driver.

12
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:48,967
Give us the gist
of your terrible idea.

13
00:01:49,001 --> 00:01:51,836
Well, I've harnessed the
ancient power of slavery

14
00:01:51,870 --> 00:01:54,755
to run the school bus
of tomorrow.

15
00:01:59,193 --> 00:02:00,894
Whose boy is this?

16
00:02:00,928 --> 00:02:02,395
I'll take him home.

17
00:02:02,429 --> 00:02:04,197
You'll take his place.

18
00:02:05,832 --> 00:02:07,266
I would like to present

19
00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:09,535
my Kwik-E-Smart perpetual
energy machine.

20
00:02:09,569 --> 00:02:12,036
Three years ago,
I tripped over the cord,

21
00:02:12,070 --> 00:02:14,555
but the hotdogs,
they kept rolling.

22
00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:17,308
Some say they're powered
by decaying nitrates,

23
00:02:17,342 --> 00:02:20,710
others by tiny insects
beneath the hot dog skins.

24
00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:24,231
Hard to believe I once turned
down a job in Tampa, Florida,

25
00:02:24,265 --> 00:02:25,981
because I believed in this city.

26
00:02:26,016 --> 00:02:27,366
That was 15 years ago.

27
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:28,551
They wouldn't take you now.

28
00:02:28,585 --> 00:02:30,553
Is anyone here
an actual scientist?

29
00:02:30,587 --> 00:02:32,004
Uh, yes, I have, on occasion,

30
00:02:32,038 --> 00:02:34,739
dabbled in the scientific arts.

31
00:02:34,773 --> 00:02:37,525
Frink Labs,
a division of Allied Frink,

32
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:38,893
the Good-Glavin people,

33
00:02:38,928 --> 00:02:42,946
are proud to present
the Frinkasonic MHV.

34
00:02:42,981 --> 00:02:45,732
And what, pray tell,
is MHV?

35
00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:49,018
Oh, yes,
it's the Moyvin-Hoyvin Vehicle.

36
00:02:49,052 --> 00:02:51,087
This non-magnetic babe magnet

37
00:02:51,121 --> 00:02:53,656
is powered entirely by,
you guessed it,

38
00:02:53,690 --> 00:02:55,090
sound waves.

39
00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:00,962
Ah, yes, you see?

40
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:02,629
Your quite appropriate
oohs and ahs

41
00:03:02,647 --> 00:03:05,299
are propelling me forward.
It's wonderful.

42
00:03:07,018 --> 00:03:10,386
That's slightly more enthusiasm
than I had anticipated.

43
00:03:11,121 --> 00:03:12,255
For the love of God,

44
00:03:12,289 --> 00:03:14,574
step on the brakes!

45
00:03:14,608 --> 00:03:16,391
The brakes are powered
by silence.

46
00:03:20,713 --> 00:03:23,364
Look out because of the zooming.

47
00:03:26,602 --> 00:03:27,952
Why is it ejecting?

48
00:03:27,986 --> 00:03:29,936
It's just a normal seat...!

49
00:03:35,826 --> 00:03:37,693
No! No!

50
00:03:37,727 --> 00:03:39,194
I'm okay.

51
00:03:39,229 --> 00:03:41,397
I'll just go live with my son.

52
00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:43,265
No! No!

53
00:03:44,466 --> 00:03:45,867
Hurry up.

54
00:03:45,901 --> 00:03:47,936
I want to get Grampa
back here by 3:00,

55
00:03:47,970 --> 00:03:50,938
so we can get him and Maggie
on the same nap schedule.

56
00:03:50,972 --> 00:03:52,139
I've labeled all his boxes.

57
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,342
Well, I can't pick up
something this heavy

58
00:03:55,376 --> 00:03:56,677
without my lifting belt.

59
00:03:56,711 --> 00:03:58,611
Ow!

60
00:03:58,645 --> 00:04:00,446
You know you can't
lift your lifting belt

61
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,082
without wearing your
belt-lifting-belt.

62
00:04:03,116 --> 00:04:04,283
Oh, no.

63
00:04:04,318 --> 00:04:06,685
I won't be able
to help you pack up Grampa.

64
00:04:06,719 --> 00:04:07,769
Fine.

65
00:04:07,803 --> 00:04:10,238
Just stay here and
hold down the fort.

66
00:04:10,273 --> 00:04:11,606
Hold down the fort?

67
00:04:11,641 --> 00:04:13,240
With my bad back?

68
00:04:18,914 --> 00:04:21,881
Man, that keyboard-playing cat
is so cute.

69
00:04:24,752 --> 00:04:26,285
"Villageville"?!

70
00:04:26,319 --> 00:04:29,721
"Build your own authentic
medieval village."

71
00:04:29,756 --> 00:04:31,823
I must have
something better to do.

72
00:04:34,276 --> 00:04:35,626
And ca-lick.

73
00:04:37,946 --> 00:04:40,413
Finally, a woodcutter that will
do what I tell him.

74
00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:43,817
Holy moley!

75
00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:46,286
He's already made a clearing.

76
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,087
Let's go for a glade.

77
00:04:53,843 --> 00:04:55,343
Just call me DeForest Kelley.

78
00:04:55,377 --> 00:04:57,312
I gotta write that down
and send it to Conan.

79
00:04:57,346 --> 00:05:00,014
Oh, move this here-- tap.

80
00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:02,983
Mill, mill.

81
00:05:03,017 --> 00:05:04,384
Barn, silo.

82
00:05:04,419 --> 00:05:06,553
Tavern, tavern, tavern, tavern,
tavern, tavern...

83
00:05:06,587 --> 00:05:08,088
Brothel.

84
00:05:08,122 --> 00:05:09,388
Parsonage.

85
00:05:09,423 --> 00:05:10,840
A Theater in the Round.

86
00:05:10,874 --> 00:05:13,109
And...

87
00:05:13,143 --> 00:05:14,794
hay pile.

88
00:05:16,429 --> 00:05:17,579
"And the Lord saw

89
00:05:17,613 --> 00:05:19,314
"what He had made,

90
00:05:19,348 --> 00:05:21,282
and it was good."

91
00:05:22,851 --> 00:05:24,218
Ew.

92
00:05:24,252 --> 00:05:25,619
Yeah, that's right,

93
00:05:25,654 --> 00:05:28,122
your Lord sticks his hand
in his pants.

94
00:05:28,156 --> 00:05:32,058
And yes, it is the same hand
I tapped you with.

95
00:05:38,564 --> 00:05:39,998
Well, if I've learned anything,

96
00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:43,368
it's that you can't have
too much iron ore.

97
00:05:43,403 --> 00:05:46,303
Maybe one of your tavern wenches
can do the laundry.

98
00:05:47,622 --> 00:05:48,856
You're back.

99
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,324
Did you spend this whole time

100
00:05:50,359 --> 00:05:52,692
doing fake chores
in a fake village?

101
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:56,029
It's real to them.

102
00:05:56,063 --> 00:05:58,130
Um, where's
Santa's Little Helper?

103
00:05:58,164 --> 00:05:59,531
I don't know.
The backyard?

104
00:05:59,566 --> 00:06:01,500
The backyard?
But what if he got out

105
00:06:01,534 --> 00:06:04,536
through your half-completed
tunnel to Flanders's fridge?

106
00:06:06,071 --> 00:06:07,338
I don't see him anywhere.

107
00:06:07,373 --> 00:06:09,540
You jackass.
You lost our dog!

108
00:06:09,575 --> 00:06:11,225
Oh, my God.

109
00:06:11,260 --> 00:06:13,994
I forgot to feed my jackass.

110
00:06:15,730 --> 00:06:17,698
Hank-hew.

111
00:06:17,732 --> 00:06:19,398
You're welcome.

112
00:06:21,569 --> 00:06:24,171
Santa's Little Helper.

113
00:06:24,205 --> 00:06:28,241
Santa's Little Helper!

114
00:06:28,275 --> 00:06:29,509
I love that dog,

115
00:06:29,543 --> 00:06:32,011
but that is one long,
stupid name.

116
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:43,404
What the hell?

117
00:06:43,438 --> 00:06:44,705
Oh, right.

118
00:06:46,591 --> 00:06:49,225
The animal shelter hasn't had
any greyhounds turned in.

119
00:06:49,260 --> 00:06:53,179
Just a dachshund, a chow,
and a pregnant raccoon.

120
00:06:53,214 --> 00:06:55,547
A lot of good backups.
How pregnant is the raccoon?

121
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,015
We don't want a raccoon.

122
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,100
Good, Marge.

123
00:06:58,134 --> 00:06:59,351
Get their price down.

124
00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:01,653
Dad, I just
noticed something.

125
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:03,721
You're not upset enough
about this.

126
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,656
Hey, Lisa's right.

127
00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:08,825
You're the only one who
hasn't cried about the dog.

128
00:07:08,860 --> 00:07:09,826
Not a crier.

129
00:07:09,861 --> 00:07:11,762
What? You cry all the time.

130
00:07:11,796 --> 00:07:14,998
You cried when they canceled
that show you hated.

131
00:07:15,032 --> 00:07:16,999
Goofing on it made me feel wise.

132
00:07:18,535 --> 00:07:21,420
Where is that coming from?
From the kitchen.

133
00:07:22,155 --> 00:07:24,556
He's alive!

134
00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:26,591
And he didn't pee on the floor.

135
00:07:26,625 --> 00:07:28,860
For me,
that's a perfect day.

136
00:07:31,529 --> 00:07:34,398
Dad, why'd you shut our dog
in a cabinet?

137
00:07:34,432 --> 00:07:35,499
I'll answer that.

138
00:07:35,533 --> 00:07:37,333
Your father's an idiot.

139
00:07:37,367 --> 00:07:39,936
<i>I believe the word is idiote.</i>

140
00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:42,338
How did Santa's Little Helper
get in there?

141
00:07:42,372 --> 00:07:45,273
I know what must have happened.

142
00:07:46,692 --> 00:07:48,510
I'm going to get a snack,

143
00:07:48,544 --> 00:07:51,712
but first, should I introduce
the black plague?

144
00:07:51,746 --> 00:07:53,414
Mm... what could be the harm?

145
00:07:54,616 --> 00:07:56,884
Whoa, now I've got to buy
a corpse wagon.

146
00:07:56,918 --> 00:07:58,252
Well, that's how they get you.

147
00:08:00,070 --> 00:08:02,505
Hmm... ooh, it's amazing

148
00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:06,208
how many things they can
make taste like cheese.

149
00:08:06,242 --> 00:08:09,244
Oh, yeah, baby, I'm drinking
you down to your knees.

150
00:08:10,396 --> 00:08:11,864
♪ Gonna drink ammonia

151
00:08:11,898 --> 00:08:13,447
♪ 'Cause it tastes like cheese

152
00:08:13,482 --> 00:08:15,883
♪ I wonder what will happen...

153
00:08:17,486 --> 00:08:20,487
A minstrel has composed
a roundelay mocking me?

154
00:08:20,521 --> 00:08:21,688
Torture, torture, torture.

155
00:08:22,907 --> 00:08:26,443
Well, it's time we showed
this dog some love.

156
00:08:26,477 --> 00:08:27,276
Oh.
Oh.

157
00:08:28,345 --> 00:08:30,095
Attaboy.

158
00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:32,264
Hey Homer, how come
you're not hugging the dog?

159
00:08:32,299 --> 00:08:34,432
He knows I love him,
and he loves me.

160
00:08:36,001 --> 00:08:38,503
That's short for
"Rrright you are."

161
00:08:38,537 --> 00:08:41,405
I don't think you even like
Santa's Little Helper.

162
00:08:41,439 --> 00:08:44,808
You never take him for walks
or sleep with him in your arms.

163
00:08:44,843 --> 00:08:48,244
And I suspect you've been
chewing on his treats.

164
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:51,214
How are they his treats
if I paid for them?

165
00:08:51,248 --> 00:08:52,448
Okay, okay.

166
00:08:52,482 --> 00:08:53,716
I'll be nicer to the dude.

167
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,817
I've just never really
been a dog person.

168
00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:57,452
Really? What about Bongo?

169
00:08:57,486 --> 00:08:59,204
Bongo?!

170
00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:01,790
I told you never
to ever talk about Bongo.

171
00:09:04,643 --> 00:09:07,578
Ever!

172
00:09:07,612 --> 00:09:09,579
What just happened?
Who's Bongo?

173
00:09:09,613 --> 00:09:12,682
Bongo was Homer's dog
when he was a boy.

174
00:09:12,716 --> 00:09:14,317
He's still my dog!

175
00:09:14,351 --> 00:09:16,585
We got him years ago.

176
00:09:16,619 --> 00:09:18,387
I don't know what you
just said, but it's wrong!

177
00:09:18,421 --> 00:09:19,655
Wrong, wrong, wrong.

178
00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:23,091
I was working long hours

179
00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:25,626
<i>at the Springfield
Smokestack Factory.</i>

180
00:09:27,462 --> 00:09:30,580
<i>Oh, I was so tired
when I got home.</i>

181
00:09:30,615 --> 00:09:34,133
<i>Then little Homer
would start crying and crying,</i>

182
00:09:34,151 --> 00:09:36,853
<i>but Bongo knew just what to do.</i>

183
00:09:41,524 --> 00:09:45,326
<i>Now, my dear, we can
watch Mannix as a couple.</i>

184
00:09:45,361 --> 00:09:48,463
Unfortunately,
like all true stories,

185
00:09:48,497 --> 00:09:51,299
this one has a crappy ending.

186
00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:53,350
You have a story with an ending?

187
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:56,019
Uh-huh. All my stories
have endings now.

188
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:59,055
They're putting something
in my Jell-O down at the home.

189
00:09:59,089 --> 00:10:01,591
Anyway, Homer and that dog

190
00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:05,261
went together like Christmas
and suicidal thoughts.

191
00:10:05,295 --> 00:10:10,315
♪ Me and my Arrow

192
00:10:10,349 --> 00:10:13,450
♪ Straighter than narrow

193
00:10:15,153 --> 00:10:17,838
♪ Wherever we go

194
00:10:17,872 --> 00:10:19,356
♪ Everyone knows

195
00:10:19,391 --> 00:10:23,543
♪ It's me and my Arrow...

196
00:10:26,563 --> 00:10:29,231
♪ Me and my Arrow

197
00:10:30,867 --> 00:10:33,335
♪ Taking the high road...

198
00:10:36,772 --> 00:10:37,905
♪ Wherever we go

199
00:10:37,940 --> 00:10:41,741
♪ Everyone knows

200
00:10:41,776 --> 00:10:44,711
♪ It's me and my Arrow...

201
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,830
Aww.

202
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:50,766
I had no clue.

203
00:10:53,003 --> 00:10:54,603
Then came the fateful day

204
00:10:54,638 --> 00:10:56,571
when Mr. Burns was lobbying

205
00:10:56,605 --> 00:11:00,008
for the go-ahead
on his nuclear plant,

206
00:11:00,042 --> 00:11:02,376
<i>and he was giving away</i>

207
00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:05,729
<i>stuffed Isotoads
to all the children.</i>

208
00:11:05,763 --> 00:11:07,364
Have a toy.

209
00:11:07,398 --> 00:11:09,032
Don't thwart my ambition.

210
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:10,866
Look, they even talk.

211
00:11:10,901 --> 00:11:13,769
Cancer
clusters are random occurrences.

212
00:11:13,804 --> 00:11:14,870
Creepy.

213
00:11:14,905 --> 00:11:16,454
You can have mine, Bongo.

214
00:11:16,489 --> 00:11:19,207
Those toys are people bribes,
you good-hearted little brat.

215
00:11:21,093 --> 00:11:22,594
Ugh! He bit me!

216
00:11:22,628 --> 00:11:24,211
Get him out of here, son.

217
00:11:24,245 --> 00:11:25,612
Now.

218
00:11:27,265 --> 00:11:29,767
Mr. Burns,
I'm awfully sorry.

219
00:11:29,801 --> 00:11:31,367
Oh, I'll be all right.

220
00:11:31,402 --> 00:11:33,736
Once I hold your
dying pet in my arms

221
00:11:33,771 --> 00:11:35,471
and feel his wagging
tail go stiff.

222
00:11:35,506 --> 00:11:38,306
Uh, sir, you are aware you're
at a PR event for children.

223
00:11:40,777 --> 00:11:42,561
Bring in the clown.

224
00:11:42,595 --> 00:11:43,645
Hey-hey!

225
00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:47,631
So, Lady Godiva gets a haircut,

226
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:48,966
right, and...

227
00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:50,084
Kids?

228
00:11:50,118 --> 00:11:51,218
Uh, no problem.

229
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,819
I'll just cut
to my clean material.

230
00:11:54,855 --> 00:11:56,656
Farmer's daughter, no.

231
00:11:56,691 --> 00:11:58,924
A man from Nantucket, no.

232
00:11:58,958 --> 00:12:00,526
Bring out the monkey!

233
00:12:04,364 --> 00:12:07,732
Next time I'm getting
a smaller monkey.

234
00:12:07,766 --> 00:12:10,234
Ow! Gow! Ooh!

235
00:12:10,269 --> 00:12:11,669
Oh! Gah! All right!

236
00:12:12,783 --> 00:12:15,705
So Mr. Burns wanted
to kill Homer's dog.

237
00:12:15,805 --> 00:12:17,155
Homer had no idea.

238
00:12:17,190 --> 00:12:19,424
He was so innocent and chubby.

239
00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:21,792
Course now,
he's just stupid and fat.

240
00:12:21,826 --> 00:12:23,694
Focus.
Huh? Oh, right.

241
00:12:23,728 --> 00:12:25,262
Little Homer didn't know it,

242
00:12:25,297 --> 00:12:28,147
<i>but Burns had unleashed
the local dogcatcher</i>

243
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,233
<i>to bring Bongo in.</i>

244
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:33,753
♪ Little Homer had a dog

245
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,821
♪ And Bongo was his name-o

246
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,623
♪ B-O-On-On-Go

247
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,191
♪ B-O-On-On-Go...

248
00:12:39,242 --> 00:12:41,242
Get in quick.

249
00:12:41,276 --> 00:12:43,160
<i>This was before the day
of safety seats</i>

250
00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:46,063
<i>and coming to a complete stop
to let your child get in.</i>

251
00:12:49,901 --> 00:12:54,571
When God closes a door,
he opens a gun shop.

252
00:12:54,605 --> 00:12:55,971
Wait.

253
00:12:56,006 --> 00:12:57,706
How could you know
what Herman said?

254
00:12:57,741 --> 00:12:59,642
You were driving away.

255
00:12:59,676 --> 00:13:01,377
He wrote a memoir.
Oh.

256
00:13:02,678 --> 00:13:04,445
Uh-oh.

257
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,114
Huh.

258
00:13:06,148 --> 00:13:07,382
Oh.

259
00:13:07,416 --> 00:13:08,816
Anyway...

260
00:13:10,201 --> 00:13:11,919
Son, I've got an idea.

261
00:13:11,953 --> 00:13:14,021
A hole next to the seat
to hold my cup?

262
00:13:14,055 --> 00:13:15,505
That's a stupid idea.

263
00:13:15,540 --> 00:13:17,390
Holding cups
are what thighs are for.

264
00:13:17,424 --> 00:13:18,841
Now hang on tight.

265
00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:25,180
Mmm!

266
00:13:25,214 --> 00:13:26,531
Smell them sausages, Lou.

267
00:13:26,566 --> 00:13:28,533
Are you sure
the Big Brother Program

268
00:13:28,568 --> 00:13:30,518
couldn't find me
anybody else?

269
00:13:30,553 --> 00:13:32,770
Yeah, well, you were
my last pick, too, okay?

270
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:35,873
Tipping, aah!

271
00:13:37,542 --> 00:13:40,526
Oh, I'm a washout
as a dogcatcher.

272
00:13:40,561 --> 00:13:41,761
What do I do now?

273
00:13:41,795 --> 00:13:44,030
Well, my dream
is to be police chief.

274
00:13:44,064 --> 00:13:45,697
Oh, no, you can't 'cause,
um, that's my dream.

275
00:13:45,732 --> 00:13:46,892
I'm gonna be chief of police.

276
00:13:46,899 --> 00:13:48,667
Well, then I'll be
a spokesman for my people,

277
00:13:48,701 --> 00:13:50,102
like Ralph Abernathy.

278
00:13:50,136 --> 00:13:53,387
Ralph, I like that name.

279
00:13:55,223 --> 00:13:58,259
Man, this story
is filling in a lot of gaps.

280
00:13:58,293 --> 00:14:01,661
But I want to know about Dad
and his broken heart.

281
00:14:01,696 --> 00:14:03,730
Your father lost a lot
in his life--

282
00:14:03,764 --> 00:14:05,565
his hair, his mother,

283
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,801
more games of Monopoly
than any man ought.

284
00:14:08,835 --> 00:14:13,204
He'd go to jail and stay there
'cause he loves the easy life,

285
00:14:13,238 --> 00:14:15,039
but I think losing that dog

286
00:14:15,074 --> 00:14:17,709
was the toughest blow of all.

287
00:14:17,743 --> 00:14:19,877
Where are we going, Daddy?

288
00:14:19,912 --> 00:14:21,895
Remember our old
neighbor, Miss Viola?

289
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,164
Well, she moved to the country,
where there was no limit

290
00:14:24,198 --> 00:14:26,783
on how many pets one
single lady could own.

291
00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:28,250
Miss Viola?

292
00:14:28,285 --> 00:14:29,952
Isn't she cuckoo?

293
00:14:29,987 --> 00:14:33,289
Now, son,
a lot of people are cuckoo

294
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,240
till you need something
from them.

295
00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:38,543
<i>I knew that Bongo would have
a good home there</i>

296
00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:40,745
<i>and Burns would never find him.</i>

297
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,112
Gosh, Miss Viola,

298
00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:44,114
I want you
and your husband to know

299
00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:45,983
how much I appreciate this.

300
00:14:48,186 --> 00:14:50,253
Well, let's get this dog in.

301
00:14:50,287 --> 00:14:51,954
Come on.

302
00:14:51,989 --> 00:14:55,891
Son, uh, why don't you
give him your sweatshirt

303
00:14:55,925 --> 00:14:57,693
so he'll remember you.

304
00:14:57,727 --> 00:14:59,711
Okay.

305
00:14:59,746 --> 00:15:02,464
How long till we come back
and get him?

306
00:15:02,498 --> 00:15:04,799
<i>I had to tell my boy</i>

307
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:07,635
<i>we were giving
away his dog for good.</i>

308
00:15:07,669 --> 00:15:09,969
<i>I wasn't sure if a six-year-old</i>

309
00:15:10,004 --> 00:15:12,272
<i>could even understand
the concept.</i>

310
00:15:12,306 --> 00:15:13,473
What? No.

311
00:15:13,507 --> 00:15:15,108
No! No!

312
00:15:15,126 --> 00:15:16,526
Bongo!

313
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,612
<i>Turns out,
he caught on pretty quick.</i>

314
00:15:23,030 --> 00:15:25,554
Your father was devastated.

315
00:15:26,507 --> 00:15:28,842
Women and their crying.

316
00:15:28,876 --> 00:15:31,443
Finish the damn story.

317
00:15:31,478 --> 00:15:34,480
I've got
a hockey game tonight.

318
00:15:34,514 --> 00:15:38,033
<i>When I finally got back
to the house...</i>

319
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,585
Simpson, release your hound.

320
00:15:40,619 --> 00:15:43,671
He's already gone
where you'll never get him.

321
00:15:43,705 --> 00:15:45,639
I'm a powerful man, Simpson.

322
00:15:45,673 --> 00:15:47,891
I can walk into McDonalds,
order soup,

323
00:15:47,925 --> 00:15:49,159
and they'll make it.

324
00:15:49,193 --> 00:15:50,393
Go on. Get.

325
00:15:50,428 --> 00:15:53,512
I got a bug zapper,
and I ain't afraid to use it.

326
00:15:53,547 --> 00:15:55,731
Is that sugar water I smell?

327
00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,084
Well, I'm afraid I
already told my dogs

328
00:16:00,119 --> 00:16:01,836
they could tear yours apart.

329
00:16:01,871 --> 00:16:04,322
Don't make me look into those
pitiless black eyes and say,

330
00:16:04,356 --> 00:16:07,758
"Daddy didn't bring you
a friend-friend to rip-rip!"

331
00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:09,009
Where's Bongo?

332
00:16:09,043 --> 00:16:10,460
Is he still
at the crazy lady's...

333
00:16:10,495 --> 00:16:11,762
Back to sleep, son.

334
00:16:17,034 --> 00:16:18,534
Oh, listen,

335
00:16:18,569 --> 00:16:20,769
I can think of something
you'd enjoy

336
00:16:20,803 --> 00:16:22,504
more than killing a dog.

337
00:16:22,538 --> 00:16:24,005
Dropping a horse on a church?

338
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,008
No! Breaking a man's spirit.

339
00:16:27,043 --> 00:16:28,242
Mine.

340
00:16:28,276 --> 00:16:30,211
Well, I guess I could always

341
00:16:30,245 --> 00:16:32,479
drop a horse on a
church afterward.

342
00:16:32,514 --> 00:16:33,314
Fine.

343
00:16:33,348 --> 00:16:34,697
<i>I had to take care</i>

344
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:37,317
<i>of his hounds for a year.</i>

345
00:16:37,351 --> 00:16:38,535
<i>I tried to wear</i>

346
00:16:38,569 --> 00:16:40,036
<i>a bite-proof suit,</i>

347
00:16:40,070 --> 00:16:43,105
<i>but those satanic Snoopys
always found their way in.</i>

348
00:16:49,611 --> 00:16:51,078
I'm not done with you.

349
00:16:51,113 --> 00:16:55,249
I insist you never wear shoes
or a proper necktie again.

350
00:16:55,284 --> 00:16:56,516
Just house slippers

351
00:16:56,551 --> 00:16:58,919
and the most humiliating tie
there is:

352
00:16:58,953 --> 00:17:00,921
bolo.

353
00:17:03,139 --> 00:17:04,723
<i>But the hardest part</i>

354
00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:08,027
<i>was that my son
was so angry with me.</i>

355
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:09,628
How was school today?

356
00:17:09,663 --> 00:17:11,162
Ketchup, please.

357
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,798
You're probably wondering
how I got rabies.

358
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:15,366
Well...
I'm not hungry anymore.

359
00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:17,651
<i>Our relationship
never recovered,</i>

360
00:17:17,685 --> 00:17:21,388
<i>and no amount of ignoring
the problem could ever fix it.</i>

361
00:17:22,674 --> 00:17:25,808
Grampa, why is the
saddest story you ever told

362
00:17:25,842 --> 00:17:28,110
the only one that's
ever made sense?

363
00:17:28,145 --> 00:17:30,446
Doesn't make sense to me.

364
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:34,282
I happen to remember it
just a little differently.

365
00:17:34,317 --> 00:17:36,051
Well, tell us your version.

366
00:17:36,085 --> 00:17:39,837
Now granted, I was just a kid,
but I say...

367
00:17:39,871 --> 00:17:42,590
<i>Grampa always hated Bongo</i>

368
00:17:42,624 --> 00:17:44,558
<i>and loved money
so he sold Bongo</i>

369
00:17:44,593 --> 00:17:45,742
<i>to a wicked farm witch</i>

370
00:17:45,776 --> 00:17:47,961
<i>just so he could hang out</i>

371
00:17:47,995 --> 00:17:50,413
<i>with a bunch of rich dogs
and kidnapped Santa</i>

372
00:17:50,447 --> 00:17:53,482
<i>so I'd never get the toy
I actually wanted.</i>

373
00:17:53,516 --> 00:17:55,884
And then... then wha...

374
00:17:55,918 --> 00:17:57,369
and then what happened... was...

375
00:18:00,188 --> 00:18:02,757
Gee, my story
doesn't make much sense

376
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,492
except the Santa part.

377
00:18:04,526 --> 00:18:06,160
Yeah, but at least it was short.

378
00:18:06,194 --> 00:18:07,827
Wait. Wait.

379
00:18:07,862 --> 00:18:11,031
There's one part of the story
even Grampa didn't know about.

380
00:18:11,065 --> 00:18:14,767
A few months later,
I went to rescue Bongo.

381
00:18:22,508 --> 00:18:25,476
Hendrix, come here, boy.

382
00:18:27,446 --> 00:18:30,414
<i>But there was one thing
I wasn't prepared for.</i>

383
00:18:30,448 --> 00:18:31,732
<i>Bongo was...</i>

384
00:18:31,766 --> 00:18:34,484
<i>happy without me.</i>

385
00:18:34,519 --> 00:18:37,787
<i>He had become her dog.</i>

386
00:18:37,821 --> 00:18:39,772
Oh, Homie.

387
00:18:39,806 --> 00:18:41,440
I'm so sorry.

388
00:18:41,475 --> 00:18:43,541
Well, that's just
the way dogs are.

389
00:18:43,576 --> 00:18:46,611
The most disloyal, unfaithful
creatures God ever made.

390
00:18:46,646 --> 00:18:49,680
Homer, maybe you should take
a look at this.

391
00:18:49,714 --> 00:18:53,384
A Christmas card I got
from Miss Viola years later.

392
00:18:56,170 --> 00:18:58,037
He still had
my sweatshirt.

393
00:18:58,072 --> 00:19:00,006
Bongo didn't forget you.

394
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,642
Unlike those gerbils
of yours we gave away.

395
00:19:02,676 --> 00:19:04,843
Oh, they were fickle as hell.

396
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,611
Oh, my God, Dad.

397
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,914
I owe you an apology.

398
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:11,949
You saved Bongo.

399
00:19:11,983 --> 00:19:15,052
I never understood that
till now.

400
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,721
All these years I thought

401
00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:19,889
you loved that dog more than me.

402
00:19:19,924 --> 00:19:23,593
Why would you think that?

403
00:19:23,627 --> 00:19:27,996
Just because I put you in a home
where they feed you dog food?

404
00:19:28,031 --> 00:19:30,999
Aw, give me a hug, son.

405
00:19:31,034 --> 00:19:33,901
Okay, but I'm a little
out of practice.

406
00:19:33,936 --> 00:19:37,105
Hold your arms like you're
carrying a wedding cake.

407
00:19:37,139 --> 00:19:38,272
What flavor?

408
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:39,439
It doesn't matter.

409
00:19:39,474 --> 00:19:41,825
If it doesn't matter,
then I call Snickers.

410
00:19:41,859 --> 00:19:42,993
That's not a flavor.

411
00:19:43,027 --> 00:19:44,695
Everything's a flavor

412
00:19:44,729 --> 00:19:46,228
in the kitchens of today.

413
00:19:46,263 --> 00:19:47,863
Just hug already.

414
00:19:51,835 --> 00:19:53,968
Homie? Huh?

415
00:19:56,739 --> 00:19:58,590
Come on, boy,
time to go to bed.

416
00:19:58,624 --> 00:20:00,474
My dog.

417
00:20:00,508 --> 00:20:03,077
All right, Homer,
it's your moment.

418
00:20:03,111 --> 00:20:04,545
But he's mine tomorrow.

419
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,864
♪ Me and my Arrow

420
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:14,202
♪ Straighter than narrow

421
00:20:16,472 --> 00:20:19,074
♪ Wherever we go...

422
00:20:19,108 --> 00:20:24,107
== sync, corrected by <font color="#00ff00">elderman</font> ==

