1
00:00:06,284 --> 00:00:08,298
[ Clock ticking ]
2
00:00:12,410 --> 00:00:14,291
[ Computer beeps ]
3
00:00:14,325 --> 00:00:16,462
[ Keyboard clacking ]
4
00:00:16,496 --> 00:00:17,830
[ Computer beeps ]
5
00:00:17,864 --> 00:00:19,433
[ Clacking continues ]
6
00:00:19,468 --> 00:00:20,804
[ Computer beeps ]
7
00:00:20,838 --> 00:00:24,156
[ Alarm blaring ]
8
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,494
[ Clock ticking ]
9
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,735
[ Keypad beeps ]
10
00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,379
Man: All units, please respond
to a possible intruder
11
00:00:39,413 --> 00:00:40,881
in the research department.
12
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,755
[ Blaring continues ]
13
00:00:52,164 --> 00:00:54,332
This product is the result
14
00:00:54,366 --> 00:00:57,204
of years of research
and development.
15
00:00:57,239 --> 00:00:58,808
Everyone at the company
16
00:00:58,843 --> 00:01:01,946
is convinced the stock price
is going to soar.
17
00:01:01,981 --> 00:01:03,847
[ Christmas music playing ]
18
00:01:07,524 --> 00:01:08,826
A toy?
19
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:09,960
Chubby Snubby.
20
00:01:09,994 --> 00:01:12,531
I was the exec
overseeing its safety report,
21
00:01:12,565 --> 00:01:15,905
which came back with a level
three choking hazard rating.
22
00:01:15,940 --> 00:01:19,512
But I refused to cook the books,
so Hazlit fired me.
23
00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:20,514
Hazlit?
24
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,653
Trent Hazlit,
C.E.O. of Poggio Toys.
25
00:01:22,688 --> 00:01:25,095
And he's not worried
about lawsuits?
26
00:01:25,130 --> 00:01:27,798
Hazlit does cost-benefits
for everything.
27
00:01:27,832 --> 00:01:30,538
And the deaths of a few kids
is an acceptable risk
28
00:01:30,573 --> 00:01:31,775
in the name of profit.
29
00:01:31,809 --> 00:01:33,177
Well, he is awfully cute.
30
00:01:33,212 --> 00:01:35,446
Not so cute
when a kid swallows its nose
31
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:38,018
and it swells up
to the size of a pomegranate.
32
00:01:38,053 --> 00:01:39,622
Hazlit buried
the Chubby Snubby report
33
00:01:39,656 --> 00:01:41,159
so he could launch
before Christmas.
34
00:01:41,193 --> 00:01:43,362
All the toys
are at retail warehouses
35
00:01:43,397 --> 00:01:46,335
waiting for the announcement
at the Pacific Toy Expo.
36
00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:49,210
We're looking at
a ticking bomb.
37
00:01:49,245 --> 00:01:53,215
Don't let this thing hit
the market, Mr. Ford... please.
38
00:01:55,070 --> 00:01:56,671
[ Computer beeps ]
39
00:01:56,706 --> 00:02:01,245
Trent Hazlit... C.E.O.
of global toy giant Poggio Toys.
40
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,287
And the days of the colorful
family toy exec are long gone.
41
00:02:04,322 --> 00:02:06,892
Nowadays, companies bring in
these Wall Street Wolverines
42
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,895
who couldn't care less
about kids or toys.
43
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:11,264
All they care about
is branding and stock growth.
44
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,900
Well, where'd Hazlit come from?
45
00:02:12,935 --> 00:02:14,403
- One guess.
- Santa's workshop.
46
00:02:14,437 --> 00:02:15,974
- No. [ Chuckles ]
- Doughnuts.
47
00:02:16,008 --> 00:02:17,809
No. And that's two guesses.
Stop playing.
48
00:02:17,843 --> 00:02:19,077
[ Sighs ]
49
00:02:19,111 --> 00:02:21,048
He comes from
defense contracting.
50
00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:23,552
20 years ago, he was selling
RPGs and anti-aircraft weaponry
51
00:02:23,586 --> 00:02:24,921
to both
Latin-American dictators
52
00:02:24,956 --> 00:02:26,559
and the rebel groups
that opposed them.
53
00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:28,395
- I hate arms dealers.
- Yeah.
54
00:02:28,429 --> 00:02:30,664
Now, nine years ago,
he takes over Poggio Toys,
55
00:02:30,699 --> 00:02:32,669
moves the manufacturing
overseas,
56
00:02:32,703 --> 00:02:34,405
he lowered safety standards,
57
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,441
and he buried
class-action suits.
58
00:02:36,477 --> 00:02:37,745
Okay, uh, what's security like?
59
00:02:37,779 --> 00:02:39,181
Hardison:
He's using the same M.O.
60
00:02:39,216 --> 00:02:40,417
As he did when he sold weapons.
61
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,588
He's using
double-walled rooms.
62
00:02:42,622 --> 00:02:44,527
He's locking away toy designs
at the end of every shift.
63
00:02:44,561 --> 00:02:45,529
He's changing codes daily.
64
00:02:45,564 --> 00:02:47,199
Uh, safety report?
65
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:48,503
Hardison:
It's digital.
66
00:02:48,538 --> 00:02:49,805
It's kept in a special server,
67
00:02:49,839 --> 00:02:50,906
which is locked
in a special safe,
68
00:02:50,940 --> 00:02:52,274
which is held
in a special server room.
69
00:02:52,308 --> 00:02:53,275
Parker?
70
00:02:53,309 --> 00:02:54,778
Parker:
Ah, a Boylan-Kim 53-11.
71
00:02:54,812 --> 00:02:56,950
Just have to drill it...
No problem.
72
00:02:56,984 --> 00:02:59,487
Okay. So, we'll steal
the safety report,
73
00:02:59,521 --> 00:03:01,255
release it to the public,
74
00:03:01,290 --> 00:03:03,092
then Hazlit
is gonna have to spike
75
00:03:03,126 --> 00:03:04,927
the Chubby Snubby dog launch.
76
00:03:04,962 --> 00:03:08,298
Let's do it.
77
00:03:13,370 --> 00:03:15,840
[ Sighs ]
78
00:03:15,874 --> 00:03:17,809
[ Sighs ]
79
00:03:19,378 --> 00:03:20,812
I-I'm saying that we...
80
00:03:20,846 --> 00:03:23,083
Uh, I think we went overboard
on Christmas gifts last year.
81
00:03:23,117 --> 00:03:24,853
[ Sighs ]
82
00:03:24,887 --> 00:03:26,721
Nate,
I love my Ecosse motorcycle
83
00:03:26,755 --> 00:03:30,757
from last Christmas...
Compliments of my Santa-baby.
84
00:03:30,791 --> 00:03:31,926
[ Drill whirring ]
85
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:36,030
You spent $100,000
on a motorcycle?
86
00:03:36,064 --> 00:03:37,896
Don't hate the gift.
87
00:03:37,930 --> 00:03:39,231
Hate the elf.
88
00:03:39,265 --> 00:03:40,934
I do hate the elf.
89
00:03:40,968 --> 00:03:42,369
[ Whirring continues, stops ]
90
00:03:42,404 --> 00:03:43,571
So, are you saying
91
00:03:43,605 --> 00:03:45,539
[exhales sharply]
No Christmas presents at all?
92
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:46,673
Not even something small?
93
00:03:46,707 --> 00:03:47,974
No gifts.
94
00:03:48,008 --> 00:03:50,008
But [Scoffs]
95
00:03:50,042 --> 00:03:52,943
How are we supposed to do
Christmas without any presents?
96
00:03:52,977 --> 00:03:54,845
Sophie: Let's just
put a limit on spending.
97
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,982
Say...$1,000 a...
98
00:03:57,016 --> 00:03:58,716
[ Clears throat ]
99
00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:01,485
$100 a...
[ Clears throat ]
100
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,988
50 bucks a person.
Mm.
101
00:04:05,657 --> 00:04:08,125
Fine, whatever.
102
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,193
[ Dial clicking ]
103
00:04:14,195 --> 00:04:15,995
[ Door opens ]
104
00:04:17,932 --> 00:04:19,764
I'm in.
105
00:04:28,773 --> 00:04:32,044
[ Beeping ]
106
00:04:34,845 --> 00:04:38,415
[ Cellphone beeping ]
107
00:04:38,449 --> 00:04:40,750
Okay.
Downloading now.
108
00:04:40,785 --> 00:04:43,387
And... I got it.
109
00:04:43,421 --> 00:04:44,856
[ Beeping stops ]
110
00:04:44,891 --> 00:04:47,660
Three minutes to seal up, and
he'll never know we were here.
111
00:04:53,434 --> 00:04:56,669
Yeah, he doctored the data.
112
00:04:56,703 --> 00:04:58,539
And the American Safety
Association of Pediatricians
113
00:04:58,573 --> 00:04:59,741
is giving it five stars!
114
00:04:59,775 --> 00:05:01,376
Yeah, I thought that was weird.
115
00:05:01,410 --> 00:05:02,676
Yeah, they're a bunch
of retired doctors
116
00:05:02,711 --> 00:05:04,977
based out of Guam with
no standing in the business.
117
00:05:05,012 --> 00:05:06,812
I'm sure they're
on Hazlit's payroll.
118
00:05:06,846 --> 00:05:08,414
Shouldn't somebody
be regulating this stuff?
119
00:05:08,448 --> 00:05:10,283
Want to know who regulates
toy safety in this country?
120
00:05:10,318 --> 00:05:11,385
The toy companies.
121
00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:14,921
What about government?
122
00:05:14,956 --> 00:05:16,190
Consumer Product
Safety Commission.
123
00:05:16,225 --> 00:05:17,226
They try.
124
00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:19,095
They're a solid
government agency,
125
00:05:19,129 --> 00:05:21,194
but safety studies
are voluntary,
126
00:05:21,229 --> 00:05:23,528
so certain companies
just won't take that risk
127
00:05:23,563 --> 00:05:25,464
because if a toy
is found hazardous,
128
00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:27,033
they have to make it public.
129
00:05:27,068 --> 00:05:28,733
Yeah, unless you buy
some doctors in Guam.
130
00:05:28,767 --> 00:05:30,834
I appreciate you trying.
131
00:05:30,868 --> 00:05:32,135
Wait, wait, wait.
132
00:05:32,170 --> 00:05:34,073
Mr. Marris, listen...
This isn't over.
133
00:05:34,107 --> 00:05:35,340
It isn't.
134
00:05:35,375 --> 00:05:38,139
Now, we are not gonna
let that toy get released.
135
00:05:38,174 --> 00:05:40,476
I don't think you know
who you're up against.
136
00:05:40,510 --> 00:05:43,445
Trent Hazlit
is a corporate hitman...
137
00:05:43,479 --> 00:05:45,414
He's capable of anything.
138
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,620
You realize that without that
safety study, we got nothing.
139
00:05:52,654 --> 00:05:53,621
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
140
00:05:53,655 --> 00:05:54,922
So, why'd you promise him that?
141
00:05:54,956 --> 00:05:58,225
Because we are not gonna
let that toy get released.
142
00:05:58,260 --> 00:06:00,260
We're gonna steal Christmas.
143
00:06:01,830 --> 00:06:03,967
Sophie: No, the Trojan Horse
won't work.
144
00:06:04,087 --> 00:06:05,804
We'd have to sell Hazlit
a toy company
145
00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:07,608
so filled
with financial liability
146
00:06:07,643 --> 00:06:10,377
that it bankrupts him before
the launch of Chubby Snubby.
147
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,648
Exactly. We just bait him
with a new hit toy.
148
00:06:12,683 --> 00:06:14,385
But the launch
is in three days.
149
00:06:14,419 --> 00:06:16,654
We don't have time
to create a whole new toy.
150
00:06:16,688 --> 00:06:19,291
Ah, that's why Hardison
is finding us some failed toys
151
00:06:19,326 --> 00:06:20,293
that already exist.
152
00:06:20,328 --> 00:06:22,029
Yeah,
this is second run of fun.
153
00:06:22,063 --> 00:06:23,831
It's a third-party
toy distributor
154
00:06:23,865 --> 00:06:26,502
that sells failed toys to
Bolivia and the Sudan in bulk.
155
00:06:26,537 --> 00:06:29,038
They also sell those
Super Bowl "loser" t-shirts.
156
00:06:29,073 --> 00:06:32,474
Mm. Now, check this out... they
got TSA security screener,
157
00:06:32,508 --> 00:06:36,312
Whirlie-Glee-Glee, homeless
mother and daughter doll set.
158
00:06:36,347 --> 00:06:37,645
These are toys.
159
00:06:37,679 --> 00:06:39,978
And this is my favorite...
Sir Boat-A-Lot.
160
00:06:40,012 --> 00:06:42,747
You pull his arm,
and he gives you a sailing tip.
161
00:06:42,781 --> 00:06:45,183
Go back, uh,
to the turny thing. Just...
162
00:06:45,217 --> 00:06:46,652
The Whirlie-Glee-Glee?
Yeah.
163
00:06:46,686 --> 00:06:48,854
This thing was supposed to
do figure eights.
164
00:06:48,888 --> 00:06:50,321
It barely did a figure one.
165
00:06:50,355 --> 00:06:51,322
Sold 1,100 units.
166
00:06:51,356 --> 00:06:53,023
I actually think
I had one as a kid.
167
00:06:53,058 --> 00:06:54,325
[ Scoffs ]
168
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,028
Well, it's bland enough
to slip through the cracks
169
00:06:56,062 --> 00:06:57,698
but quirky enough
to seem novel.
170
00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,835
So, we just have to get
the kids to go crazy
171
00:06:59,869 --> 00:07:01,838
for a toy
that was once considered junk.
172
00:07:01,873 --> 00:07:03,308
Mm. Well, a toy craze
is like a con...
173
00:07:03,342 --> 00:07:05,245
You just got to convince them
that they want something
174
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:06,579
that they didn't know
they wanted.
175
00:07:06,614 --> 00:07:08,247
In this case,
it's preschoolers.
176
00:07:08,281 --> 00:07:09,882
So, when is this thing
shipped to Africa?
177
00:07:09,916 --> 00:07:11,919
In 39 hours.
178
00:07:11,954 --> 00:07:13,589
Okay, well, we got to get our
hands on the, uh... the, uh...
179
00:07:13,624 --> 00:07:15,025
Whirlie-Glee-Glee?
180
00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:17,624
Whirlie-Glee-Glee
before it's gone-gone.
181
00:07:17,659 --> 00:07:18,526
Right.
182
00:07:29,338 --> 00:07:31,341
[ Click ]
183
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:52,848
Hmm.
184
00:07:59,310 --> 00:08:01,346
Who in the hell would
give this thing to a child?
185
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,381
It's not a thing.
186
00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:04,420
It is a doll,
and kids love dolls.
187
00:08:04,454 --> 00:08:05,454
It ain't no doll.
188
00:08:05,489 --> 00:08:06,755
That's some old,
voodoo witchcraft,
189
00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:08,056
and I don't want it
up in Lucille.
190
00:08:08,091 --> 00:08:09,658
You know what? What if I said
that about the flashy kicks
191
00:08:09,693 --> 00:08:10,660
you've been giving me lately?
192
00:08:10,694 --> 00:08:12,063
Hey, they are awesome.
193
00:08:12,097 --> 00:08:13,766
They make you shiny and fast.
194
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,931
Okay, this thing, no kid should
ever be subjected to... ever.
195
00:08:16,966 --> 00:08:19,335
[ Sighs ]
196
00:08:19,369 --> 00:08:20,837
[ Camera shutter clicks,
cellphone beeps ]
197
00:08:20,872 --> 00:08:22,108
Nate, you see this?
198
00:08:22,142 --> 00:08:23,343
Nate: Oh.
199
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,844
Guys, it doesn't matter
what toy Parker picks.
200
00:08:25,878 --> 00:08:27,213
Anything can be sold.
201
00:08:27,247 --> 00:08:28,282
Eliot's right.
202
00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:29,651
It's just
a mass-marketing con game,
203
00:08:29,685 --> 00:08:31,387
and it's about
creating wildfire buzz
204
00:08:31,421 --> 00:08:34,289
like the modern-art world
or the movie business.
205
00:08:34,323 --> 00:08:35,388
Any crappy product...
206
00:08:35,422 --> 00:08:37,187
Wha... Baby Joy Rage
is not crappy.
207
00:08:37,221 --> 00:08:39,823
- It's crappy.
- Any misunderstood product can make billions
208
00:08:39,858 --> 00:08:42,258
as long as it has
the right buzz.
209
00:08:42,293 --> 00:08:45,597
We just got to get that thing
on Hazlit's radar.
210
00:08:47,369 --> 00:08:51,669
J.I.C. says the kids will clock
the mutt in at 88.6% satisfied.
211
00:08:51,704 --> 00:08:53,805
[ Chuckles ] The what, sir?
212
00:08:53,839 --> 00:08:56,872
The J. I.C....
Jubilation Index Calculator.
213
00:08:56,906 --> 00:08:57,972
New app I developed.
214
00:08:58,006 --> 00:08:59,575
Just take a pic of the item.
215
00:08:59,609 --> 00:09:02,144
Boom... the thing registers
the toy's gross market
216
00:09:02,178 --> 00:09:03,645
and franchise potential
217
00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:06,813
vis-à-vis the kid's hand size,
age, and ethnicity.
218
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:10,182
88.6 is 4 points higher
than trampy... what's-her-face?
219
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,816
Damsel Judy.
[ Sighs ]
220
00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:15,418
Still don't know how dads
let their girls near that thing.
221
00:09:15,452 --> 00:09:17,285
But, hey, the little tramp
222
00:09:17,319 --> 00:09:19,752
earned us $24 million
last year, right?
223
00:09:19,787 --> 00:09:21,054
[ Chuckles ]
224
00:09:21,088 --> 00:09:23,656
Hazlit has a vise-grip
on retail giant Joylandia's
225
00:09:23,691 --> 00:09:24,922
premium shelf space.
226
00:09:24,957 --> 00:09:26,691
Companies fight
to the death each year
227
00:09:26,725 --> 00:09:28,328
for the best shelf space
in stores.
228
00:09:28,362 --> 00:09:30,832
And that kind of contract
gets re-upped here at this expo.
229
00:09:30,867 --> 00:09:32,867
All right, Sophie,
you're the new competition.
230
00:09:32,901 --> 00:09:35,469
Get that contract.
231
00:09:37,074 --> 00:09:40,111
End caps, action alleys,
interactive kiosks...
232
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:43,481
I want it all because
this toy is gonna be massive.
233
00:09:43,515 --> 00:09:44,749
[ Chuckles ]
234
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:48,121
You don't know how many reps
tell me that, Miss... Ronder.
235
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:50,823
Well, unlike them,
I'm not guessing.
236
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:51,958
I never guess.
237
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,893
I have
a 95% sell-through rate.
238
00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:55,094
Mm-hmm.
239
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:59,428
Listen... I'm telling you,
this toy is a hit.
240
00:09:59,462 --> 00:10:02,129
I'm staying at the Lamy.
241
00:10:02,164 --> 00:10:03,862
- Oh!
[ Both ] - Oh, pardon me.
242
00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:05,764
Excuse me.
[ Laughs ]
243
00:10:05,798 --> 00:10:08,468
Hey. Trent,
how the hell are you?
244
00:10:08,503 --> 00:10:11,006
Good, Gil.
Who was that?
245
00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:12,608
Oh, Mimi Ronder.
246
00:10:12,642 --> 00:10:15,945
New toy rep
with a ton of charm...
247
00:10:15,979 --> 00:10:18,545
And a great pair of legs.
248
00:10:18,579 --> 00:10:21,747
She's bidding on Joylandia's
premium shelf space?
249
00:10:21,781 --> 00:10:23,114
[ Laughs ]
250
00:10:23,149 --> 00:10:26,082
You don't have a thing
to worry about, Trent, old boy.
251
00:10:26,116 --> 00:10:28,820
You always come up
with the highest bid.
252
00:10:32,523 --> 00:10:34,323
You know Hazlit's
just gonna outbid us
253
00:10:34,357 --> 00:10:35,758
for that
shelf-space package.
254
00:10:35,793 --> 00:10:36,794
Ah, that's fine.
255
00:10:36,828 --> 00:10:38,363
That bid
was just to get on his radar.
256
00:10:38,398 --> 00:10:40,299
Now comes the hard part...
257
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:44,072
Getting the kids of America
to love a toy they never wanted.
258
00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:48,368
Ah, we just got to find the right
place to start a viral toy craze.
259
00:10:48,488 --> 00:10:50,624
Now, I ran algorithms
on all the Portland zip codes
260
00:10:50,658 --> 00:10:52,994
to find the most likely nexus
for a social buzz epidemic.
261
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,430
These hub agents are the most
influential family areas.
262
00:10:55,464 --> 00:10:56,432
[ Computer beeps ]
263
00:10:56,466 --> 00:10:58,355
Families who start fads.
Good.
264
00:10:58,475 --> 00:10:59,336
Right.
265
00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:01,790
Now, they're all connected
to different groups,
266
00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:03,588
but they have one thing
in common.
267
00:11:03,708 --> 00:11:04,674
[ Computer beeps ]
268
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,860
Ah, a weekly farmer's market.
269
00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:08,765
So, I figure
we go set up a booth,
270
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,456
start
a grassroots-type craze.
271
00:11:10,576 --> 00:11:11,222
Perfect.
272
00:11:11,342 --> 00:11:13,746
I get a vendor's license
to sell the toy.
273
00:11:13,866 --> 00:11:15,864
- We can...
- Ehh, I don't think so.
274
00:11:15,984 --> 00:11:18,364
So... no
to the farmer's market?
275
00:11:18,398 --> 00:11:20,766
Yes to the farmer's market.
No to selling the toy there.
276
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,302
We're not?
277
00:11:22,336 --> 00:11:24,204
No, we're gonna do something
278
00:11:24,239 --> 00:11:26,338
much more effective
than selling.
279
00:11:26,372 --> 00:11:27,371
These look great.
280
00:11:27,405 --> 00:11:29,272
That's fine.
281
00:11:31,379 --> 00:11:32,480
Look, it's happy.
282
00:11:32,515 --> 00:11:35,015
Aw, it's not so happy,
but then it's happy again.
283
00:11:35,049 --> 00:11:36,016
It changes moods.
284
00:11:36,051 --> 00:11:37,517
It's pretty cool, right?
285
00:11:37,552 --> 00:11:39,785
No?
286
00:11:39,819 --> 00:11:41,619
Hey! Here, take it...
It's free.
287
00:11:41,653 --> 00:11:43,818
Thank you.
288
00:11:43,853 --> 00:11:45,219
Tell your friends!
289
00:11:45,253 --> 00:11:47,320
Free toys!
Yeah!
290
00:11:47,355 --> 00:11:49,523
[ Children cheering ]
291
00:11:49,557 --> 00:11:50,727
Hey, hey.
292
00:11:50,761 --> 00:11:53,231
[ Chuckling ] There you are.
All right. Huh?
293
00:11:53,265 --> 00:11:55,498
There you go, buddy.
Good?
294
00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:57,968
Nate, it seems to be working.
295
00:11:58,002 --> 00:12:01,305
The drug-dealer approach...
you for real?
296
00:12:01,339 --> 00:12:02,406
Nate:
First taste is free.
297
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,408
Word spreads,
keeps them coming back for more.
298
00:12:04,442 --> 00:12:06,814
Now, we got to get that toy
in the hands of a tastemaker.
299
00:12:06,848 --> 00:12:08,749
You know, the people that
tell other people what to buy.
300
00:12:08,784 --> 00:12:11,086
And you know who the most
influential tastemakers are?
301
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:12,971
Celebrities.
302
00:12:13,739 --> 00:12:15,375
[ Laughs ]
303
00:12:15,409 --> 00:12:17,076
I got one.
304
00:12:17,110 --> 00:12:18,844
[ Keyboard clacking ]
305
00:12:18,879 --> 00:12:19,845
[ Computer beeps ]
306
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,279
This is pre-teen
Sandy Matteo.
307
00:12:21,314 --> 00:12:23,247
She's from that show
"Sandy's School Times."
308
00:12:23,281 --> 00:12:25,014
She's got a major fan base...
major.
309
00:12:25,049 --> 00:12:29,186
An endorsement from this girl's
gonna give us a Tsunami of hype.
310
00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:31,188
What? No!
There is no way.
311
00:12:31,223 --> 00:12:33,859
It is three points
on the gross, or...
312
00:12:33,893 --> 00:12:35,928
Okay, or I fire your ass...
313
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,765
The Harold Shuckersan Agency
shrivels up and dies!
314
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:38,766
[ Purse thuds ]
315
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:39,800
[ Sighs ] [ Cellphone beeps ]
316
00:12:39,835 --> 00:12:40,802
[ Sighs ]
317
00:12:40,836 --> 00:12:42,604
Where the hell are my clothes?
318
00:12:42,639 --> 00:12:46,442
It's impossible to find anything
in these giant totes, isn't it?
319
00:12:46,477 --> 00:12:49,243
You know, I almost
lost my Shih Tzu in mine.
320
00:12:49,277 --> 00:12:50,744
[ Laughs ]
321
00:12:50,779 --> 00:12:52,946
No.
No, no.
322
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,178
That's disgusting.
323
00:12:54,213 --> 00:12:56,046
What's yours, hmm?
A Gucci?
324
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,266
It's an original Erin Walter...
Not on the market yet.
325
00:12:59,386 --> 00:13:00,354
Ohh.
326
00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,123
You're Sandy Matteo, right?
327
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:06,060
You're marvelous, darling.
328
00:13:06,094 --> 00:13:07,996
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
329
00:13:14,804 --> 00:13:17,806
Hardison: Sandy Matteo now loves
and endorses Baby Joy Rage.
330
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,176
You know what, man?
331
00:13:19,210 --> 00:13:21,813
I could actually make
a second career as a paparazzo.
332
00:13:21,848 --> 00:13:23,880
All right, great. Let's get
that endorsement out there.
333
00:13:23,915 --> 00:13:25,149
Got you. I am currently
embedding Matteo's photos
334
00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:26,150
on 23 different sites...
335
00:13:26,185 --> 00:13:27,552
[ Computer beeps ]
336
00:13:27,587 --> 00:13:29,521
Teen blog pages, game portals,
toy blogs... you name it.
337
00:13:29,555 --> 00:13:31,459
I even got celebrities
tweeting about it.
338
00:13:31,493 --> 00:13:32,994
Man, if there is a kid
who does not know
339
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,196
what this toy is by next week,
340
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,498
they're probably being
homeschooled somewhere
341
00:13:35,532 --> 00:13:36,499
under a rock.
342
00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:37,902
Okay, next step is scarcity.
343
00:13:37,936 --> 00:13:39,638
All right, we got to
make it feel like
344
00:13:39,672 --> 00:13:41,205
every mom and dad
in the country
345
00:13:41,239 --> 00:13:42,806
can't get their hands
on this toy.
346
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:43,808
Got it.
347
00:13:43,842 --> 00:13:45,712
[ Indistinct conversation ]
348
00:13:45,746 --> 00:13:49,417
I was just wondering if
you might, by any chance,
349
00:13:49,451 --> 00:13:54,360
have one of those
Baby Joy Rage... no, "Joy Rage."
350
00:13:54,394 --> 00:13:55,796
It's a doll.
351
00:13:55,830 --> 00:13:56,997
Okay.
Well, yeah, I...
352
00:13:57,031 --> 00:13:58,230
[ Telephone clicks, dial tone ]
353
00:13:58,264 --> 00:13:59,296
[ Sighs ] Zachary.
354
00:13:59,331 --> 00:14:00,531
I need more conviction.
355
00:14:00,565 --> 00:14:02,099
What's the most important thing
356
00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:03,335
for an actor to remember
in character?
357
00:14:03,369 --> 00:14:06,338
Your lines.
No... desire.
358
00:14:06,373 --> 00:14:08,107
What do you want, Zachary?
359
00:14:08,142 --> 00:14:09,442
What does the character want?
360
00:14:09,476 --> 00:14:10,710
The toy.
361
00:14:10,744 --> 00:14:12,113
Why do you want it, Zachary?
362
00:14:12,148 --> 00:14:13,147
To make my child happy?
363
00:14:13,182 --> 00:14:14,215
No.
364
00:14:14,249 --> 00:14:15,616
You want that toy
so that your child
365
00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:17,083
will sit still
for a couple of seconds
366
00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:18,384
and give you some peace
and quiet
367
00:14:18,418 --> 00:14:20,952
so you can finally open
that delicious bottle of Merlot
368
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:23,142
that you've been dreaming about
since 10:00 A.M. this morning.
369
00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:25,047
[ Sighing ] God.
370
00:14:25,841 --> 00:14:27,908
You get me.
371
00:14:27,942 --> 00:14:29,109
When I win my first Oscar...
372
00:14:29,143 --> 00:14:30,342
Mm.
373
00:14:30,377 --> 00:14:31,410
I'm gonna name it after you,
Ms. Devereaux.
374
00:14:31,444 --> 00:14:32,711
Ah.
375
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:33,846
I'm gonna thank everyone,
and then I'm gonna say,
376
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,315
"this is not an
Oscar..." Mnh-mnh.
377
00:14:35,349 --> 00:14:36,984
- "...it's a Devereaux."
- Okay, Zachary.
378
00:14:37,018 --> 00:14:39,052
Right.
379
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,585
[ Clears throat ]
380
00:14:40,619 --> 00:14:41,986
[ Telephone beeps ]
381
00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:43,121
Hello. Yes.
382
00:14:43,155 --> 00:14:45,926
I need this Baby Joy Rage doll.
383
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,394
"Baby Joy Rage."
384
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:50,228
Yeah, my kid has been
going crazy for this thing.
385
00:14:50,262 --> 00:14:52,063
All of his friends have one,
386
00:14:52,097 --> 00:14:55,134
and my wife has made me
drive to the store three times
387
00:14:55,169 --> 00:14:56,901
just to see if it's in yet.
388
00:14:56,935 --> 00:14:59,367
Pantani!
389
00:15:01,136 --> 00:15:03,071
You wanted to see me, sir?
390
00:15:03,105 --> 00:15:04,239
What the hell is this?
391
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:08,438
Sandy Matteo
is plugging this doll?
392
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,039
I thought she had
an exclusive with us...
393
00:15:10,074 --> 00:15:11,274
On the mini-skirt
dancer hoop.
394
00:15:11,308 --> 00:15:12,607
Well, I'll look into it.
395
00:15:12,642 --> 00:15:13,808
And customer relations
is saying we're getting calls
396
00:15:13,843 --> 00:15:14,942
asking if we own the doll,
397
00:15:14,976 --> 00:15:16,476
wanting to know
when it's gonna be released.
398
00:15:16,511 --> 00:15:17,646
[ Sighs ]
399
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,649
Oh, well, look at this.
400
00:15:19,684 --> 00:15:21,151
That toy rep I saw.
401
00:15:21,185 --> 00:15:24,153
Oh, oh, she is a naughty,
naughty girl.
402
00:15:24,188 --> 00:15:26,626
Okay, I want a sit-down
with Gil Barton at Joylandia
403
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:27,660
A.S.A.-Freaking-P.
404
00:15:27,695 --> 00:15:29,727
And I want
the media saturation numbers
405
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,328
on this demon doll before
the end of business today.
406
00:15:32,362 --> 00:15:33,529
Come on!
Chop-chop!
407
00:15:33,563 --> 00:15:35,297
Let's move!
408
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:41,172
Baby Joy Rage's media saturation
number's hovering around 62%.
409
00:15:41,292 --> 00:15:42,489
Sophie:
It's not enough.
410
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,576
We need it to be at least 89%.
411
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,546
Santa's little helper here
is right... the doll's a bust.
412
00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:48,214
Whirlie stupid thing
would have done worse.
413
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:49,215
And you're an expert
on this because?
414
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,716
- Guys.
- Because I was there.
415
00:15:50,751 --> 00:15:52,283
- It spoke to me.
- It spoke to you?
416
00:15:52,317 --> 00:15:53,718
Yes, it reminded me of a toy
417
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,021
my social worker used to
make me do exercises with.
418
00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:57,188
Are you kidding me with that?
419
00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:58,459
Oh, like you always do
what you're supposed to?
420
00:15:58,493 --> 00:15:59,894
- This is stupid.
Sophie: - Guys, just settle down.
421
00:15:59,928 --> 00:16:01,963
Wait a minute. Exercises...
What kind of exercises?
422
00:16:01,997 --> 00:16:05,265
Identifying emotions
or something like that.
423
00:16:07,435 --> 00:16:09,535
And what do you feel here?
424
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,671
Anger.
425
00:16:14,576 --> 00:16:16,878
And this girl
with an ice cream cone?
426
00:16:16,912 --> 00:16:18,845
More anger.
427
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:26,151
And these happy folks
at the beach?
428
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:29,920
Actually, this one may be...
429
00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:32,657
Definitely anger.
430
00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,690
Nate: That's it. That's it.
It's obvious.
431
00:16:34,725 --> 00:16:36,324
We can't
con a 6-year-old.
432
00:16:36,359 --> 00:16:37,893
You know who we can con?
433
00:16:37,927 --> 00:16:40,262
Their parents.
434
00:16:43,865 --> 00:16:46,989
Okay, so Hardison you get on that lecture
thing, Eliot you get on the mommies.
435
00:16:47,109 --> 00:16:48,843
And he doesn't mean that
literally.
436
00:16:48,878 --> 00:16:50,735
- That joke is never funny.
Hardison: - It's always funny.
437
00:16:50,855 --> 00:16:51,911
No.
It's not, Hardison.
438
00:16:52,031 --> 00:16:53,652
Comedy's about timing,
and you don't have it!
439
00:16:53,686 --> 00:16:55,318
Do we really think parents
are gonna bite on this?
440
00:16:55,353 --> 00:16:57,154
Uh, yeah. What do you think
parents are most afraid of?
441
00:16:57,188 --> 00:16:58,156
- Clowns.
- No.
442
00:16:58,190 --> 00:17:00,226
Parker: - Evil clowns?
- No, Parker.
443
00:17:00,261 --> 00:17:02,095
Crazy clowns called GeeGee who whisper
your name from under your bed?
444
00:17:02,129 --> 00:17:03,864
No.
445
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,799
No, parents are most afraid
that their kids
446
00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:07,467
aren't gonna be successful...
That they're somehow
447
00:17:07,501 --> 00:17:08,969
not gonna be able
to compete with other kids.
448
00:17:09,004 --> 00:17:10,072
They're gonna be left behind...
449
00:17:10,106 --> 00:17:11,251
That's what
they're most afraid of.
450
00:17:11,371 --> 00:17:14,075
So, we pitch the doll
as a developmental tool,
451
00:17:14,109 --> 00:17:17,013
and the child uses it
to access their emotions
452
00:17:17,047 --> 00:17:18,148
and become more socially aware.
453
00:17:18,183 --> 00:17:19,283
Absolutely.
This is gonna work.
454
00:17:19,317 --> 00:17:20,350
And if they don't buy it,
455
00:17:20,385 --> 00:17:21,585
they run the risk
of the kid being a misfit
456
00:17:21,619 --> 00:17:22,920
and living in the basement
until he's 40.
457
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:24,320
[ Sighs ]
458
00:17:24,354 --> 00:17:25,954
We need a name for the new
toy... and a good name. Uhh...
459
00:17:25,989 --> 00:17:27,255
Not crazy GeeGee.
460
00:17:27,289 --> 00:17:28,356
Uh, no. Umm...
461
00:17:28,391 --> 00:17:31,194
Baby Feels-A-Lot.
462
00:17:31,229 --> 00:17:33,063
Wait... wait, what? What?
463
00:17:33,097 --> 00:17:34,730
"Baby Feels-A-Lot."
464
00:17:34,764 --> 00:17:36,732
I feel a lot.
You feel a lot.
465
00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:38,369
We all feel a lot.
466
00:17:38,404 --> 00:17:40,573
And it's okay to feel a lot,
467
00:17:40,607 --> 00:17:44,743
as long as you
use your words, right?
468
00:17:47,512 --> 00:17:50,413
Sophie Devereaux.
469
00:17:50,448 --> 00:17:52,282
Isn't this...
I don't know, wrong...
470
00:17:52,316 --> 00:17:55,184
Messing with Christmas presents,
playing with parents' fears?
471
00:17:55,218 --> 00:17:57,489
I mean, don't you feel
just a little bit guilty
472
00:17:57,524 --> 00:17:58,491
given the holiday?
473
00:17:58,526 --> 00:17:59,593
Mm, no.
474
00:17:59,627 --> 00:18:00,594
- I do.
- Why?
475
00:18:00,628 --> 00:18:02,330
Because.
476
00:18:02,364 --> 00:18:04,734
Parker, why is that people give
each other Christmas presents?
477
00:18:04,768 --> 00:18:06,237
To be nice.
478
00:18:06,271 --> 00:18:07,908
No, because
they're being programmed
479
00:18:07,942 --> 00:18:10,211
by these giant corporations
that do all this research
480
00:18:10,245 --> 00:18:12,881
to figure out how to push these
psychological buttons in people
481
00:18:12,916 --> 00:18:14,652
to make them
get these presents, right?
482
00:18:14,686 --> 00:18:16,423
Make no mistake,
what we're doing
483
00:18:16,457 --> 00:18:19,227
is we're manipulating fears
and making these toys,
484
00:18:19,261 --> 00:18:20,995
all of it.
485
00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:25,401
This...
This... is Christmas.
486
00:18:27,037 --> 00:18:28,004
Yeah.
487
00:18:28,038 --> 00:18:29,338
Let's get to work.
488
00:18:29,373 --> 00:18:31,874
Children are unable
to communicate
489
00:18:31,909 --> 00:18:33,443
the way they once did.
490
00:18:33,477 --> 00:18:37,481
We have taken away their need
for cognitive thought process,
491
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:40,249
their yearning
for communiqué, if you will.
492
00:18:40,284 --> 00:18:43,789
But I'm here to tell you that
that is all about to change
493
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:47,296
because we are bringing you
a new toy to the marketplace.
494
00:18:47,331 --> 00:18:51,399
Please allow me to present
Baby Feels-A-Lot.
495
00:18:51,433 --> 00:18:55,302
Now children will be able
to once again communicate
496
00:18:55,336 --> 00:18:56,804
on a humane level.
497
00:18:56,838 --> 00:19:01,306
They will be able to learn how
to be emotionally articulate.
498
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:02,606
Are they happy?
499
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,174
Are they sad?
500
00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:05,707
Are they mad?
501
00:19:05,742 --> 00:19:08,543
It is because we, as adults,
502
00:19:08,577 --> 00:19:12,680
know that fun
is the work of childhood,
503
00:19:12,715 --> 00:19:18,553
and toys are the tools that
we use to accomplish that work.
504
00:19:18,587 --> 00:19:21,490
Thank you.
505
00:19:21,525 --> 00:19:23,126
All right, cut.
506
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,061
Dude, how do you
come up with this crap?
507
00:19:25,096 --> 00:19:27,499
I studied
early-childhood development.
508
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:28,699
Look, man, video's done.
509
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,670
I make it seem like
I'm talking to hundreds,
510
00:19:30,704 --> 00:19:34,005
upload it to the blogger mom
sites, we're good to go.
511
00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:35,606
Dude, the blogger moms?
512
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:36,775
Yes, blogger moms.
513
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,478
They talk about parenthood,
schools, life at home.
514
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,179
Look, you get one of these sites
to endorse you,
515
00:19:42,213 --> 00:19:44,317
your toy's gonna go viral...
trust me.
516
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:45,418
[ Computer beeps ]
517
00:19:48,591 --> 00:19:49,590
That's a blogger mom?
518
00:19:49,625 --> 00:19:50,758
Uh, Chardonnay Mom?
519
00:19:50,792 --> 00:19:52,493
Yeah, that's
Allie Stanbrook, man.
520
00:19:52,528 --> 00:19:54,895
She runs one of the top
blogger sites in the nation.
521
00:19:54,929 --> 00:19:57,397
She's local, too...
PDX, baby.
522
00:19:57,431 --> 00:19:59,266
[ Keyboard clacking ]
523
00:19:59,301 --> 00:20:00,601
All right, look, listen to me,
524
00:20:00,636 --> 00:20:02,669
if I'm gonna do this,
all right, I want to...
525
00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:03,736
I want to be tough dad.
526
00:20:03,771 --> 00:20:05,272
You know what I mean?
Cool dad.
527
00:20:05,308 --> 00:20:06,741
Just enough to turn her head.
528
00:20:06,776 --> 00:20:08,743
Don't go overboard on this.
Keep it simple.
529
00:20:08,778 --> 00:20:11,681
You know, someone who's...
Who's not afraid to make a PB&J,
530
00:20:11,715 --> 00:20:14,216
okay, but still wants to
go out in the yard, get dirty,
531
00:20:14,251 --> 00:20:16,084
kick the soccer ball around
a little bit...
532
00:20:16,118 --> 00:20:18,921
Strict... but fair.
533
00:20:18,955 --> 00:20:23,493
After my wife passed,
it was, uh...
534
00:20:23,527 --> 00:20:30,532
It was very tough for me and my
son... Dashiel... to communicate.
535
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:39,806
But... that's when Baby
Feels-A-Lot came into our lives.
536
00:20:39,841 --> 00:20:42,840
And, you know, listen,
don't get me wrong.
537
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:44,576
I'm one of those dads...
538
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:47,081
I had a problem with my son
playing with a doll.
539
00:20:47,116 --> 00:20:48,652
[ Chuckling ] Yeah.
540
00:20:48,686 --> 00:20:52,657
But... I'll tell you something...
it worked.
541
00:20:52,691 --> 00:20:54,258
We were talking again.
542
00:20:54,293 --> 00:20:55,259
Aww.
543
00:20:55,294 --> 00:20:57,928
You know,
we were father and son.
544
00:20:57,962 --> 00:21:01,734
And I felt the duty...
I had to get this out there.
545
00:21:01,768 --> 00:21:06,204
I had to let the other dads know
what this product did for us.
546
00:21:06,239 --> 00:21:08,809
So, I started a blog.
[ Laughs ]
547
00:21:08,843 --> 00:21:10,312
Woman:
Oh, my God.
548
00:21:10,346 --> 00:21:13,016
Well, I know what it's like
to be left alone.
549
00:21:13,050 --> 00:21:14,284
[ Chuckles ]
550
00:21:14,318 --> 00:21:16,685
I mean, after my divorce,
I was utterly gutted,
551
00:21:16,719 --> 00:21:19,624
went through
all the stages of grief.
552
00:21:19,659 --> 00:21:21,460
It's what led me
to start blogging.
553
00:21:21,495 --> 00:21:24,734
Hang in there, okay?
554
00:21:24,768 --> 00:21:25,802
I will.
555
00:21:25,837 --> 00:21:28,338
Honestly, I think
with you here, Allie,
556
00:21:28,372 --> 00:21:31,306
I might just be able
to hang on forever.
557
00:21:31,341 --> 00:21:32,307
All: Aww.
558
00:21:32,342 --> 00:21:33,342
[ Chuckles, clicks tongue ]
559
00:21:33,377 --> 00:21:35,144
Oh, Carl.
Oh.
560
00:21:35,179 --> 00:21:36,980
Oh.
561
00:21:37,014 --> 00:21:38,849
Well, not only
do you have my support,
562
00:21:38,883 --> 00:21:41,519
but you have the support of
every blogger mom in the state.
563
00:21:41,554 --> 00:21:43,322
Oh, thank you.
[ Laughs ]
564
00:21:43,356 --> 00:21:44,356
Ladies?
565
00:21:48,961 --> 00:21:50,496
I don't know who you are, lady,
566
00:21:50,530 --> 00:21:52,265
but your latest move
with that doll,
567
00:21:52,299 --> 00:21:53,698
playing the smart baby card?
568
00:21:53,733 --> 00:21:59,101
Nicely done...
If this was 2004.
569
00:21:59,135 --> 00:22:00,871
Smart babies
are so eight years ago.
570
00:22:03,273 --> 00:22:05,906
Well-adjusted children
are so today.
571
00:22:05,940 --> 00:22:08,409
In Dallas last week,
firemen used a Baby Feels-A-Lot
572
00:22:08,443 --> 00:22:10,913
to coax a runaway child down
from a radio tower.
573
00:22:10,948 --> 00:22:14,948
Do your toys save lives,
Mr. Hazlit?
574
00:22:14,982 --> 00:22:15,949
Well, that is one smart baby.
575
00:22:15,983 --> 00:22:18,184
Barton: Hey, Trent.
576
00:22:18,219 --> 00:22:19,885
- Let's talk shelves.
- Let's.
577
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,219
Oh, Mr. Barton.
578
00:22:21,254 --> 00:22:22,554
I'm so sorry.
579
00:22:22,588 --> 00:22:26,426
I just have a few minutes
before my 3:15 at Mattel.
580
00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:28,629
So, if you could possibly...
581
00:22:28,663 --> 00:22:32,132
[ Chuckling ] Well... I don't
suppose old Trent would mind,
582
00:22:32,167 --> 00:22:33,869
would you, son?
583
00:22:33,903 --> 00:22:35,902
I mean, ladies first.
584
00:22:38,272 --> 00:22:40,641
Ladies... of course.
585
00:22:40,676 --> 00:22:43,278
Okay, I've written
three months' worth of blogs
586
00:22:43,312 --> 00:22:45,313
for our sensitive dad
over here.
587
00:22:45,348 --> 00:22:47,415
I got prices for the braces,
Dashiel's chess club...
588
00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:49,418
You put in there
that we went to the Super Bowl?
589
00:22:49,452 --> 00:22:51,555
Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, you even
met some of the players.
590
00:22:51,589 --> 00:22:53,824
Now, what I was thinking...
Tell me what you feel.
591
00:22:53,859 --> 00:22:55,626
You guys go on, like,
a road trip cross-country,
592
00:22:55,660 --> 00:22:57,295
you do a tour,
something like that.
593
00:22:57,330 --> 00:22:58,297
Yeah, yeah.
I like that.
594
00:22:58,331 --> 00:22:59,564
You go see...
I like that.
595
00:22:59,598 --> 00:23:00,898
Or... and I'm just gonna
put this out there...
596
00:23:00,933 --> 00:23:02,133
What if I took him on a tour
597
00:23:02,167 --> 00:23:04,235
of all the ball parks
in America, Hardison, huh?
598
00:23:04,269 --> 00:23:06,273
Or maybe took him
to the opera or the moon, huh?
599
00:23:06,307 --> 00:23:07,608
- A little sarcasm?
- A little sarcasm?
600
00:23:07,642 --> 00:23:09,142
You know, believable
father-and-son stuff!
601
00:23:09,176 --> 00:23:10,475
Will you guys...
A little focus, please.
602
00:23:10,509 --> 00:23:12,443
Focus your mind. Look at
the picture he used, man!
603
00:23:12,478 --> 00:23:14,447
Hey! Hey!
Excuse me, man.
604
00:23:14,482 --> 00:23:16,314
I'm sorry if this kind of
writing opens me up creatively.
605
00:23:16,349 --> 00:23:17,982
I'm usually stuck looking
at binary codes all day.
606
00:23:18,016 --> 00:23:20,881
Maybe I was writing the father
that I wanted one day, okay?
607
00:23:20,916 --> 00:23:23,753
M... what's the problem with
getting emotionally butt naked?
608
00:23:23,787 --> 00:23:25,352
Whoa. Oh, please, don't. Please, don't.
Hey, we...
609
00:23:25,387 --> 00:23:26,954
I'm just trying
to share my feelings...
610
00:23:26,988 --> 00:23:28,254
- We don't want to see that.
- on paper.
611
00:23:28,289 --> 00:23:29,254
No, please.
Please, don't.
612
00:23:29,289 --> 00:23:30,589
No, listen, Hardison,
613
00:23:30,624 --> 00:23:32,025
I'm very happy with
your creativity and everything,
614
00:23:32,059 --> 00:23:33,728
but what I want to know is,
what do you have
615
00:23:33,762 --> 00:23:35,028
on the blogger moms
about Eliot?
616
00:23:35,062 --> 00:23:36,194
Oh, what did the mamas say?
617
00:23:36,228 --> 00:23:39,297
Oh, what are they saying
about the sensitive dad?
618
00:23:39,333 --> 00:23:40,733
[ Keyboard clacking ]
619
00:23:40,767 --> 00:23:42,633
I got something for you.
I got something for your ass.
620
00:23:42,668 --> 00:23:44,201
Boom.
Chardonnay Mama.
621
00:23:44,236 --> 00:23:45,301
She cute, though.
622
00:23:45,335 --> 00:23:46,569
- Ain't she fine?
- She is.
623
00:23:46,603 --> 00:23:48,373
Look what she says.
624
00:23:48,407 --> 00:23:50,107
[ High-pitched ] "Oh, this week,
I was introduced
625
00:23:50,142 --> 00:23:51,975
"to an amazing new toy
called Baby Feels-A-Lot,
626
00:23:52,009 --> 00:23:53,777
"thanks to a gentleman
who couldn't be more kind,
627
00:23:53,811 --> 00:23:56,918
more handsome, or
more sensitive single dad."
628
00:23:56,952 --> 00:23:58,187
You don't deserve none of that.
629
00:23:58,221 --> 00:23:59,622
Now, how are we doing
with the toy's popularity?
630
00:23:59,657 --> 00:24:02,124
Saturation indexes are ticking
up 'cause I did my job.
631
00:24:02,158 --> 00:24:03,625
[ Computer beeps ] All right.
632
00:24:03,659 --> 00:24:05,126
Sophie, what's Hazlit up to?
633
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,127
[ Both laugh ]
634
00:24:06,162 --> 00:24:07,864
Well, if you're really serious,
635
00:24:07,898 --> 00:24:10,201
I mean, our next retreat's
gonna be in Tahoe.
636
00:24:10,235 --> 00:24:12,234
Oh, Tahoe...
count me in.
637
00:24:12,268 --> 00:24:13,700
[ Chuckles ]
Don't tease me, Gil.
638
00:24:13,735 --> 00:24:15,303
I am so flattered
that you asked me.
639
00:24:15,338 --> 00:24:17,173
Excuse me, sir?
[ Chuckles ]
640
00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:18,608
Oh, excuse me, Mimi.
641
00:24:18,642 --> 00:24:21,643
If I had a nickel for every
deal memo I had to sign.
642
00:24:21,677 --> 00:24:22,910
Oh, no problem, Gil.
643
00:24:22,945 --> 00:24:25,815
It's been such a pleasure
talking to you.
644
00:24:25,849 --> 00:24:28,787
Next year, you and me,
kite surfing, Tahoe.
645
00:24:28,821 --> 00:24:29,889
[ Both laugh ]
646
00:24:29,923 --> 00:24:31,758
Tahoe? Great.
[ Sighs ]
647
00:24:31,792 --> 00:24:34,028
What the hell's going on here?
648
00:24:34,063 --> 00:24:35,331
What are you talking about?
649
00:24:35,365 --> 00:24:36,332
It's all over the expo.
650
00:24:36,367 --> 00:24:37,534
Little Miss High Heels there
651
00:24:37,568 --> 00:24:39,269
is bidding
on the premium shelf space...
652
00:24:39,304 --> 00:24:40,871
days before
my Chubby Snubby launch.
653
00:24:40,906 --> 00:24:43,408
I don't think
I like your tone, Trent.
654
00:24:43,443 --> 00:24:44,777
I'll call you later.
655
00:24:44,811 --> 00:24:47,079
You have my number.
656
00:24:47,113 --> 00:24:48,746
I got yours.
657
00:24:51,249 --> 00:24:53,685
- Hi. [ Chuckles ]
- Merry Christmas!
658
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,356
Merry... ohh, you're grumpy.
[ Chuckles ]
659
00:24:56,390 --> 00:24:58,456
Merry Christmas!
660
00:24:58,491 --> 00:25:02,293
A little worried,
Mr. Hazlit?
661
00:25:02,327 --> 00:25:05,528
[ Chuckles ] 1989.
662
00:25:05,562 --> 00:25:06,962
"1989"?
663
00:25:06,997 --> 00:25:09,967
25 macheted contras wanting
to gut me navel-to-chin
664
00:25:10,001 --> 00:25:13,001
in the Honduran rain forest...
then, I was worried.
665
00:25:13,036 --> 00:25:14,636
This?
This is nothing.
666
00:25:14,671 --> 00:25:16,872
But I earned
the contras' respect,
667
00:25:16,907 --> 00:25:18,873
and they taught me one thing.
668
00:25:18,908 --> 00:25:20,772
I'm all ears.
669
00:25:20,807 --> 00:25:22,239
"Plata o plomo."
670
00:25:22,273 --> 00:25:24,873
"Silver or lead."
671
00:25:24,907 --> 00:25:26,275
Exactly.
672
00:25:26,310 --> 00:25:30,546
Take a bribe, the silver,
or you get a bullet, the lead.
673
00:25:30,580 --> 00:25:33,249
Those are gonna be Barton's
options in the next few minutes.
674
00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:37,283
Behind door number one...
$80,000 in cash.
675
00:25:37,316 --> 00:25:41,017
Take a peek inside
for the lead.
676
00:25:44,090 --> 00:25:46,993
Pictures of Barton's
last trip to Cabo...
677
00:25:47,027 --> 00:25:49,028
Pictures the missus
doesn't want to see.
678
00:25:49,063 --> 00:25:51,798
Which do you think
he's gonna choose?
679
00:25:51,832 --> 00:25:54,402
You play dirty, Hazlit.
680
00:25:54,437 --> 00:25:56,638
Well, you have no idea.
681
00:25:56,672 --> 00:26:00,242
And without Joylandia,
your Baby Feel-Me-Up
682
00:26:00,276 --> 00:26:01,811
with all her little feelings
683
00:26:01,845 --> 00:26:04,346
that make the kiddies
so emotionally articulate...
684
00:26:04,380 --> 00:26:05,915
You know what happens to it?
685
00:26:05,949 --> 00:26:07,917
Poof. Bye-bye.
686
00:26:11,192 --> 00:26:13,880
Hazlit is blackmailing Barton
687
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,821
to try and nix my shelf space,
688
00:26:15,941 --> 00:26:17,495
and he thinks it's turning
me on.
689
00:26:17,615 --> 00:26:19,743
[ Gags ] The guy is a menace.
690
00:26:19,778 --> 00:26:21,579
He's a menace.
All right.
691
00:26:21,613 --> 00:26:22,947
So, we become more of a menace.
692
00:26:22,981 --> 00:26:24,248
Hardison, how are we on sales?
693
00:26:24,282 --> 00:26:26,851
Umm...
[ Keyboard clacks ]
694
00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:28,219
[ Computer beeps ]
695
00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:29,820
Well, the blogs in Sophie's
theater group pimp the demand,
696
00:26:29,855 --> 00:26:32,389
but the parents are buying 52%
of their holiday gifts
697
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:33,824
on the Internet.
[ Sighs ]
698
00:26:33,858 --> 00:26:36,593
Okay, so, we have to up Baby
Feels-A-Lot's online appeal.
699
00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:37,662
Yeah, presales.
Yes.
700
00:26:37,696 --> 00:26:39,231
And then when the sales
go through the roof,
701
00:26:39,266 --> 00:26:40,561
Hazlit is gonna want to buy in.
702
00:26:40,681 --> 00:26:43,570
So, we set up a meeting
with him and the owner of...
703
00:26:43,690 --> 00:26:46,641
Lucky Beans Toys.
704
00:26:46,676 --> 00:26:48,010
Yes, me.
705
00:26:48,044 --> 00:26:49,881
- All right.
- What?
706
00:26:49,915 --> 00:26:52,284
Nothing.
707
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:54,153
Okay?
708
00:26:56,424 --> 00:26:59,328
Well, it's just...
I was talking to Parker,
709
00:26:59,362 --> 00:27:00,863
and, I mean, we're a little down
about Christmas.
710
00:27:00,897 --> 00:27:02,063
We think... we're...
711
00:27:02,098 --> 00:27:04,602
Kind of ruining the holiday
or something.
712
00:27:04,636 --> 00:27:06,804
Hardison,
Christmas was pre-ruined.
713
00:27:06,838 --> 00:27:08,805
You know how it began?
714
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,805
[ Gasps ] No. Shh.
715
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:12,640
Yeah, it was a fat guy
in a chimney.
716
00:27:12,675 --> 00:27:14,343
Christmas began as a pagan,
pre-Roman feast
717
00:27:14,378 --> 00:27:16,812
involving
the sacrifice of children.
718
00:27:18,212 --> 00:27:19,779
Ho-ho-ho.
719
00:27:19,814 --> 00:27:22,383
Is he serious?
720
00:27:23,254 --> 00:27:25,954
I mean, dang, I feel like
I just got sucker-punched
721
00:27:25,988 --> 00:27:27,391
by an elf-hating,
scrooge-loving,
722
00:27:27,425 --> 00:27:29,327
no-gift-giving
anti-claus.
723
00:27:29,362 --> 00:27:33,066
I mean, am I bleeding?
724
00:27:33,100 --> 00:27:34,600
Little bit.
725
00:27:35,969 --> 00:27:39,938
Sir, this Baby Feels-A-Lot craze
isn't going away.
726
00:27:39,973 --> 00:27:41,640
What do you mean?
We killed it.
727
00:27:41,674 --> 00:27:43,675
Well, the toy's generating
so much buzz
728
00:27:43,710 --> 00:27:47,279
that it's already ranked 5th on
the NPD charts for web presales.
729
00:27:47,312 --> 00:27:48,646
Ahead of Chubby Snubby?
730
00:27:48,681 --> 00:27:50,582
Two days Max
before it hits the top spot.
731
00:27:50,616 --> 00:27:52,416
People are pre-ordering it
like crazy,
732
00:27:52,450 --> 00:27:54,717
and it hasn't even hit
a single store shelf yet.
733
00:27:54,752 --> 00:27:55,885
It's just gone viral, boss.
734
00:27:57,486 --> 00:28:01,456
I want a sit-down with this
Baby Feels-So-Hot woman,
735
00:28:01,490 --> 00:28:02,956
and I want it now.
736
00:28:02,991 --> 00:28:05,424
Go.
737
00:28:08,630 --> 00:28:12,100
So, you take away
Baby Feels-A-Lot's shelf space
738
00:28:12,135 --> 00:28:14,371
and then take me out
for drinks.
739
00:28:14,405 --> 00:28:15,605
[ Clicks tongue ]
740
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,307
Maybe I was wrong...
741
00:28:17,342 --> 00:28:20,174
Underestimating
Baby Feels-A-Lot.
742
00:28:20,209 --> 00:28:21,176
Oh?
743
00:28:21,210 --> 00:28:23,146
I'm a sensible businessman.
744
00:28:23,181 --> 00:28:24,582
Let me meet the owner.
745
00:28:24,616 --> 00:28:26,115
You be my back channel.
746
00:28:26,149 --> 00:28:28,713
Maybe you and I can...
do business.
747
00:28:28,747 --> 00:28:30,448
What's in it for me?
748
00:28:30,483 --> 00:28:34,185
You make a move on Baby
Feels-A-Lot, I'm out of a job.
749
00:28:34,220 --> 00:28:36,820
Quarter-point of the gross
on the deal...
750
00:28:36,854 --> 00:28:39,557
Compensates you well.
751
00:28:39,591 --> 00:28:43,695
Enticing, but... I have to
warn you about Earl Greipal,
752
00:28:43,729 --> 00:28:45,929
the owner of Lucky Beans.
753
00:28:45,963 --> 00:28:49,531
He's... well, let's say
he's somewhat eccentric,
754
00:28:49,565 --> 00:28:52,932
and he's very hostile
to selling his company.
755
00:28:52,967 --> 00:28:55,001
Most of these indie toy guys
are frigging nuts...
756
00:28:55,035 --> 00:28:56,538
That is, until they see
the number of zeroes
757
00:28:56,572 --> 00:28:57,707
I put on a check.
758
00:28:57,741 --> 00:29:00,211
Half a point of the gross,
21k as a finder's fee,
759
00:29:00,246 --> 00:29:04,782
and a V.P. position at Poggio
Toys... that's what I want.
760
00:29:04,816 --> 00:29:07,184
God, you're good.
761
00:29:08,619 --> 00:29:09,920
Deal.
762
00:29:09,954 --> 00:29:13,956
By the way, you available?
763
00:29:13,991 --> 00:29:15,725
No, I'm married.
764
00:29:15,759 --> 00:29:19,130
You see, I didn't ask you that.
765
00:29:19,164 --> 00:29:23,936
Let's stick to business,
for now, Trent.
766
00:29:29,642 --> 00:29:31,545
"For now."
767
00:29:31,579 --> 00:29:33,747
[ Chuckles ]
768
00:29:36,484 --> 00:29:38,988
Hazlit's on the hook
for Baby Feels-A-Lot.
769
00:29:39,022 --> 00:29:40,524
Damn, girl,
you were right all along.
770
00:29:40,558 --> 00:29:41,959
That toy does have legs.
771
00:29:41,993 --> 00:29:44,294
[ Laughs ] And you doubted me
just like the rest of them.
772
00:29:44,329 --> 00:29:45,930
Me? No.
773
00:29:45,964 --> 00:29:48,264
I would...
I wouldn't do that.
774
00:29:48,931 --> 00:29:50,365
[ Cellphone speed-dials ]
775
00:29:50,399 --> 00:29:52,301
Mm-hmm. Yep.
[ Clears throat ]
776
00:29:52,335 --> 00:29:53,869
Hello.
Lucky Bean Toys?
777
00:29:53,903 --> 00:29:56,369
This is Charlotte Gerrard,
fire chief.
778
00:29:56,403 --> 00:29:59,441
Our machines
detected a severe gas leak
779
00:29:59,475 --> 00:30:01,710
in one of your
company buildings.
780
00:30:01,744 --> 00:30:04,344
Yes, that's the one...
the one you have.
781
00:30:04,379 --> 00:30:05,779
That company building.
782
00:30:05,813 --> 00:30:07,080
Yes.
783
00:30:07,114 --> 00:30:10,517
Yes, you need to evacuate
everyone immediately.
784
00:30:10,551 --> 00:30:11,917
I said "everyone"!
785
00:30:11,952 --> 00:30:13,519
[ Cellphone beeps ]
786
00:30:13,553 --> 00:30:15,155
Think that'll do it?
787
00:30:15,190 --> 00:30:16,157
Yeah, it should.
788
00:30:16,191 --> 00:30:17,426
- Yeah.
- It should.
789
00:30:17,460 --> 00:30:18,492
I think I scared her
a little bit. Did you jump?
790
00:30:18,527 --> 00:30:19,592
- You scared me.
- Jumpy.
791
00:30:24,603 --> 00:30:27,335
Well, while I'm baffled...
792
00:30:27,370 --> 00:30:31,476
Delighted by the sudden interest
in my toy,
793
00:30:31,510 --> 00:30:35,344
money is not why I designed
baby feels-a-lot.
794
00:30:35,379 --> 00:30:36,378
No.
795
00:30:36,413 --> 00:30:40,280
I did it for my son,
Nestor, yes...
796
00:30:40,315 --> 00:30:43,114
Who is now in federal prison.
797
00:30:43,148 --> 00:30:44,114
Oh?
798
00:30:44,148 --> 00:30:46,014
Yes, it was a nasty episode
799
00:30:46,048 --> 00:30:48,016
involving horses
and men from Tacoma.
800
00:30:48,051 --> 00:30:52,319
Doctors attribute it to
Nestor's difficulty growing up,
801
00:30:52,354 --> 00:30:55,820
having emotions,
frustration, anger issues.
802
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:56,854
I see.
803
00:30:56,890 --> 00:30:58,558
Sophie:
Mr. Greipal has often said
804
00:30:58,592 --> 00:31:02,159
that he wished that there had
been a toy like Baby Feels-A-Lot
805
00:31:02,193 --> 00:31:04,427
during Nestor's
developmental years.
806
00:31:04,461 --> 00:31:07,297
I wish there had been a toy
like Baby Feels-A-Lot
807
00:31:07,331 --> 00:31:11,170
during Nestor's
developmental years.
808
00:31:11,205 --> 00:31:13,305
Ah, different times.
809
00:31:13,339 --> 00:31:15,974
So, Mr. Hazlit,
you know, experts...
810
00:31:16,008 --> 00:31:18,913
they can look at data
or color schematics
811
00:31:18,947 --> 00:31:22,418
about what children
supposedly like or don't like.
812
00:31:22,452 --> 00:31:25,787
But really what they should do
is they should...
813
00:31:25,822 --> 00:31:29,559
They should look inside
at the child inside themselves.
814
00:31:29,593 --> 00:31:33,797
That's what we intend to do with
Baby Feels-A-Lot, Mr. Greipal.
815
00:31:33,831 --> 00:31:36,467
We have an excellent
track record...
816
00:31:36,501 --> 00:31:39,371
Yes, okay,
but the child within me
817
00:31:39,405 --> 00:31:42,376
is saying that
what you intend to do
818
00:31:42,411 --> 00:31:45,211
is ship Nestor's toy
off to China
819
00:31:45,245 --> 00:31:49,315
and turn it into some sort
of emotional abomination.
820
00:31:49,350 --> 00:31:51,517
You haven't heard my offer.
821
00:31:51,551 --> 00:31:55,852
Well, I'm afraid that no matter
how generous your offer is...
822
00:31:58,559 --> 00:32:00,894
The answer is no.
823
00:32:04,132 --> 00:32:05,499
Okay.
824
00:32:05,533 --> 00:32:06,934
Fine.
825
00:32:06,968 --> 00:32:08,903
[ Sighs ]
826
00:32:08,938 --> 00:32:10,939
You ask me, Geppetto in there
827
00:32:10,974 --> 00:32:13,673
wants to navel-gaze
for the next 10 years,
828
00:32:13,707 --> 00:32:15,074
not sell his company.
829
00:32:15,108 --> 00:32:17,913
Look, you make a very fast,
very large offer
830
00:32:17,947 --> 00:32:22,149
before this craze goes nuts,
and I promise you he'll bite.
831
00:32:22,184 --> 00:32:24,922
He's odd, yes,
but he's not stupid.
832
00:32:24,956 --> 00:32:29,328
I know that you corporate guys
like to move slowly, you know,
833
00:32:29,362 --> 00:32:32,230
while lawyers
poke around for months,
834
00:32:32,264 --> 00:32:35,933
but if Greipal gets hinky,
this thing is all over.
835
00:32:35,967 --> 00:32:38,668
Give me the sample of the toy.
836
00:32:38,703 --> 00:32:39,969
I want to run a safety study.
837
00:32:40,003 --> 00:32:42,505
Well, don't we just fudge
the safety numbers down the road
838
00:32:42,539 --> 00:32:43,539
if we have to?
839
00:32:43,574 --> 00:32:47,479
Ohh, we could be
so great together.
840
00:32:47,514 --> 00:32:51,219
I'll overnight an expedited
study... my company's license.
841
00:32:51,253 --> 00:32:53,789
Whatever the results, call me
tomorrow with Greipal's price.
842
00:32:53,823 --> 00:32:55,157
[ Sighs ]
843
00:32:55,191 --> 00:33:00,394
I'll be as gentle
as if I was holding your...
844
00:33:00,428 --> 00:33:02,896
Don't... say it.
845
00:33:04,129 --> 00:33:06,030
I'll see you tomorrow.
846
00:33:14,008 --> 00:33:16,142
I need this
expedited A.S.A.P.
847
00:33:16,177 --> 00:33:18,777
Tell Wiggins
it's for Trent Hazlit,
848
00:33:18,811 --> 00:33:22,013
and I want the 12-hour
turnaround for Poggio.
849
00:33:22,048 --> 00:33:25,314
Man: Manufacturing license
and medallion?
850
00:33:25,349 --> 00:33:28,654
It's all...
Right in there.
851
00:33:33,128 --> 00:33:34,795
Hazlit?
852
00:33:34,830 --> 00:33:36,296
- Mm?
- Good news.
853
00:33:36,330 --> 00:33:38,364
I have a figure for you.
854
00:33:38,398 --> 00:33:40,467
- He was a bit hesitant at first, but I...
- Let me stop you.
855
00:33:40,501 --> 00:33:43,671
I have no interest in buying the
doll or Mr. Greipal's company.
856
00:33:43,706 --> 00:33:44,706
Why not?
857
00:33:44,740 --> 00:33:45,807
Only reason
I did the safety study
858
00:33:45,841 --> 00:33:47,341
was to get the toy's specs.
859
00:33:47,376 --> 00:33:48,442
What for?
860
00:33:48,477 --> 00:33:50,245
To release a knock-off
that'll undercut
861
00:33:50,279 --> 00:33:51,980
the Baby Feels-A-Lot's
price point by 40%.
862
00:33:52,014 --> 00:33:57,818
In fact, I plan to mention
Baby Happy Mad... nice, huh?...
863
00:33:57,853 --> 00:34:00,322
This afternoon
at my press conference
864
00:34:00,356 --> 00:34:01,791
for Chubby Snubby dog.
865
00:34:01,825 --> 00:34:03,862
So, thanks for the free buzz.
866
00:34:03,896 --> 00:34:06,364
Your knock-off
will never replace
867
00:34:06,398 --> 00:34:08,466
the real
Baby Feels-A-Lot.
868
00:34:08,501 --> 00:34:10,637
Listen, darling...
869
00:34:10,671 --> 00:34:14,476
I got three floors of
highly paid fungineers
870
00:34:14,511 --> 00:34:17,879
who are already amping up the
happiness factor on that doll
871
00:34:17,914 --> 00:34:19,682
like you would not believe.
872
00:34:19,716 --> 00:34:22,720
Mr. Greipal might make toys
with love on the inside,
873
00:34:22,754 --> 00:34:25,823
but mine are made
with petroleum-based plastics
874
00:34:25,857 --> 00:34:27,091
and the blood, sweat, and tears
875
00:34:27,125 --> 00:34:29,226
of third-world
11-year-olds.
876
00:34:29,261 --> 00:34:30,561
You can't beat it.
877
00:34:30,595 --> 00:34:33,865
So, come on, help me celebrate.
878
00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:35,566
You are a...
879
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:39,406
The male version of you.
880
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:40,574
Come on.
881
00:34:40,609 --> 00:34:44,677
Who doesn't dream
of dating themselves, right?
882
00:34:44,711 --> 00:34:46,711
[ Sighs ]
883
00:35:01,661 --> 00:35:05,432
"Chubby Snubby is the future
of our company."
884
00:35:05,466 --> 00:35:07,468
"Chubby Snubby is the future
of our company."
885
00:35:07,503 --> 00:35:09,304
Can you feel the energy
out there, sir?
886
00:35:09,338 --> 00:35:10,439
This is gonna be big.
887
00:35:10,474 --> 00:35:11,507
"The energy out there."
888
00:35:11,542 --> 00:35:13,208
It's not about the energy
out there.
889
00:35:13,243 --> 00:35:14,710
It's about the energy in here.
890
00:35:14,745 --> 00:35:16,381
This is about Trent Hazlit.
891
00:35:16,415 --> 00:35:17,750
Oh, right, right.
892
00:35:17,784 --> 00:35:20,355
So, go out there and give them
a big, old bag of Trent.
893
00:35:20,391 --> 00:35:21,592
[ Chuckles ]
894
00:35:21,626 --> 00:35:23,060
Shut up.
[ Clears throat ]
895
00:35:23,094 --> 00:35:24,894
There he is.
Mr. Hazlit! Mr. Hazlit!
896
00:35:24,928 --> 00:35:27,565
I'll take questions
after the launch celebration.
897
00:35:27,599 --> 00:35:31,733
So, you're treating this Chubby Snubby
toy dog recall as a celebration?
898
00:35:31,768 --> 00:35:33,302
Recall? What are
you talking about?
899
00:35:33,336 --> 00:35:34,904
Well, surely there will be
a recall after the government
900
00:35:34,938 --> 00:35:37,273
released the failed safety study
this morning.
901
00:35:37,307 --> 00:35:38,775
Government?
902
00:35:38,809 --> 00:35:39,942
[ Feedback squeals ]
903
00:35:39,977 --> 00:35:41,577
I never submitted any study
to the government.
904
00:35:41,612 --> 00:35:43,781
I need this
expedited A.S.A.P.
905
00:35:43,816 --> 00:35:46,351
Tell Wiggins
it's for Trent Hazlit,
906
00:35:46,386 --> 00:35:49,524
and I want the 12-hour
turnaround for Poggio.
907
00:35:49,558 --> 00:35:52,661
Man: Manufacturing license
and medallion?
908
00:35:52,695 --> 00:35:56,494
It's all...
right in there.
909
00:36:00,596 --> 00:36:02,959
Want to know who regulates
toy safety in this country?
910
00:36:02,993 --> 00:36:04,026
The toy companies.
911
00:36:04,060 --> 00:36:05,194
What about government?
912
00:36:05,228 --> 00:36:07,497
Consumer Product
Safety Commission.
913
00:36:07,532 --> 00:36:08,532
They try.
914
00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:10,400
They're a solid
government agency,
915
00:36:10,435 --> 00:36:12,504
but safety studies
are voluntary,
916
00:36:12,538 --> 00:36:14,808
so certain companies
just won't take that risk
917
00:36:14,842 --> 00:36:16,710
because if a toy
is found hazardous,
918
00:36:16,744 --> 00:36:18,312
they have to make it public.
919
00:36:19,549 --> 00:36:20,549
- Can I he you?
- Hi.
920
00:36:20,583 --> 00:36:21,784
I need an expedited,
921
00:36:21,818 --> 00:36:23,420
overnight government
safety inspection of this.
922
00:36:23,454 --> 00:36:24,422
Mm-hmm.
923
00:36:24,456 --> 00:36:26,793
Relevant forms, my signature.
924
00:36:26,828 --> 00:36:28,776
And make sure to run it
through your strictest,
925
00:36:28,896 --> 00:36:30,766
most rigorous tests.
926
00:36:30,801 --> 00:36:31,901
Okay.
927
00:36:39,745 --> 00:36:42,014
[ Indistinct talking ]
928
00:36:42,048 --> 00:36:43,048
Everything okay, Carl?
929
00:36:43,082 --> 00:36:44,485
Your call sounded like
something was wrong.
930
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,056
No, actually, a fan of mine
sent me this safety study,
931
00:36:47,090 --> 00:36:48,559
and I find it very alarming.
932
00:36:48,593 --> 00:36:50,628
I think that we should
get this out there,
933
00:36:50,663 --> 00:36:52,765
and we should let
the parents know about it.
934
00:36:52,799 --> 00:36:54,736
Is there any way that you could,
uh, maybe help me with that?
935
00:36:54,770 --> 00:36:56,439
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
936
00:36:56,473 --> 00:36:59,006
Okay. We are
so all over this.
937
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,173
Okay.
Thank you so much.
938
00:37:01,207 --> 00:37:02,208
Mm.
939
00:37:04,647 --> 00:37:05,915
What the hell's going on here?
940
00:37:05,950 --> 00:37:07,618
Do you care to comment
on the recall, sir?
941
00:37:07,652 --> 00:37:08,853
No, I don't care to comment.
942
00:37:08,887 --> 00:37:11,156
I have no idea
what happened here.
943
00:37:11,191 --> 00:37:12,325
[ Clears throat ]
944
00:37:12,359 --> 00:37:15,497
I am gonna sue your ass,
Hazlit!
945
00:37:17,967 --> 00:37:20,434
Who did this to me?
946
00:37:38,085 --> 00:37:40,461
Marris:
I can't believe you did it.
947
00:37:40,496 --> 00:37:43,398
I wish there were more people
like you out there.
948
00:37:43,434 --> 00:37:44,435
You did it,
Mr. Marris.
949
00:37:44,469 --> 00:37:45,537
Yeah.
950
00:37:45,571 --> 00:37:47,473
Without you,
Hazlit would still be around.
951
00:37:47,508 --> 00:37:49,108
I was just doing my job.
952
00:37:49,143 --> 00:37:50,678
Well, speaking of jobs,
953
00:37:50,712 --> 00:37:53,751
the chief examiner's
looking for a new analyst.
954
00:37:53,785 --> 00:37:54,853
Chief examiner?
955
00:37:54,887 --> 00:37:56,789
For the Consumer Product
Safety Commission.
956
00:37:56,823 --> 00:37:59,025
Nate: When he found out
that he could hire the guy
957
00:37:59,059 --> 00:38:01,329
that took down Hazlit,
he jumped at it.
958
00:38:01,364 --> 00:38:04,068
I-I don't know what to say.
[ Laughs ]
959
00:38:04,102 --> 00:38:05,902
[ Laughing ]
I can't thank you enough.
960
00:38:05,936 --> 00:38:08,972
W... Merry Christmas.
961
00:38:10,575 --> 00:38:13,411
Merry Christmas.
962
00:38:13,444 --> 00:38:15,945
Promise me those things
will never hit store shelves.
963
00:38:15,980 --> 00:38:17,815
Nah, I'm keeping them
all to myself.
964
00:38:17,850 --> 00:38:19,720
I've got them lined up
in my warehouse
965
00:38:19,754 --> 00:38:21,289
like an army of joy and rage.
966
00:38:21,324 --> 00:38:24,226
You don't ever want to be
in that warehouse alone.
967
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:25,595
[ Chuckles ] Ever.
968
00:38:25,629 --> 00:38:29,863
I think it's really sad that
we're so cynical about gifts.
969
00:38:29,897 --> 00:38:31,833
I used to [Sighs]
970
00:38:31,868 --> 00:38:34,234
I loved Christmas as a child.
971
00:38:34,269 --> 00:38:35,801
Yeah, well,
nothing's genuine anymore.
972
00:38:35,835 --> 00:38:36,802
That's not true.
973
00:38:36,836 --> 00:38:37,969
No. I've been
thinking about this.
974
00:38:38,003 --> 00:38:40,500
And you know what is genuine?
975
00:38:40,534 --> 00:38:41,967
- Trust.
- Trust?
976
00:38:42,002 --> 00:38:43,034
Yes, trust.
977
00:38:43,069 --> 00:38:44,302
[ Chuckles ]
978
00:38:44,336 --> 00:38:46,270
I think...
no, seriously.
979
00:38:46,304 --> 00:38:50,209
I think we should give each
other some trust for Christmas.
980
00:38:50,243 --> 00:38:51,345
What, like that willow exercise
981
00:38:51,379 --> 00:38:52,880
where you fall back
and someone catches you?
982
00:38:52,915 --> 00:38:54,448
No, not like that.
983
00:38:54,483 --> 00:38:56,617
Good, because I did that once,
and I dropped the person,
984
00:38:56,651 --> 00:38:57,751
and they had to get stitches.
985
00:38:57,785 --> 00:38:58,785
Still hurts.
986
00:38:58,820 --> 00:39:00,655
I know.
987
00:39:00,689 --> 00:39:01,889
I just think that, well,
988
00:39:01,924 --> 00:39:03,655
we've been through
so much together, all of us,
989
00:39:03,690 --> 00:39:06,325
and we should give each other
something really personal this year,
990
00:39:06,359 --> 00:39:11,231
like, um, I don't know,
a story or a secret.
991
00:39:11,265 --> 00:39:12,299
No, come on.
[ Clears throat ]
992
00:39:12,333 --> 00:39:13,300
Bear with me, please.
993
00:39:13,335 --> 00:39:15,268
Please.
994
00:39:15,302 --> 00:39:16,904
Who's gonna go first?
995
00:39:18,507 --> 00:39:19,974
Eliot.
996
00:39:20,008 --> 00:39:22,308
Nate:
All right.
997
00:39:22,343 --> 00:39:27,881
When I was a kid, I wanted
a trumpet one Christmas.
998
00:39:27,916 --> 00:39:30,887
[ Sighs ]
999
00:39:30,921 --> 00:39:33,555
My father played Sinatra
all the time,
1000
00:39:33,589 --> 00:39:37,462
and Sinatra had this trumpet
player named "Sweets" Edison...
1001
00:39:37,496 --> 00:39:38,997
Harry "Sweets" Edison.
1002
00:39:39,031 --> 00:39:40,797
Great sound...
amazing.
1003
00:39:40,832 --> 00:39:43,332
I wanted to sound
just like him, you know?
1004
00:39:43,367 --> 00:39:46,572
Christmas rolled around, and,
uh, there was no trumpet...
1005
00:39:46,606 --> 00:39:48,771
Just a pack of,
uh, baseball cards.
1006
00:39:48,806 --> 00:39:50,637
Well, my father said that Santa
1007
00:39:50,671 --> 00:39:53,206
must have had
a rough year at the track.
1008
00:39:53,240 --> 00:39:54,207
So, there's...
1009
00:39:54,242 --> 00:39:56,311
Anyway, a couple of days later,
1010
00:39:56,345 --> 00:39:59,748
I wake up in my bed,
and at the foot of the bed is...
1011
00:39:59,783 --> 00:40:00,916
Is a trumpet.
1012
00:40:00,950 --> 00:40:03,484
I mean, it's all tarnished
and dinged up...
1013
00:40:03,518 --> 00:40:09,490
My dad probably rolled somebody
for it, but there it is.
1014
00:40:09,524 --> 00:40:15,362
And I, uh, I played that trumpet
every day for 10 years.
1015
00:40:15,396 --> 00:40:17,829
You know, I never...
1016
00:40:17,864 --> 00:40:22,068
I never, uh, ended up sounding
like "Sweets" Edison,
1017
00:40:22,103 --> 00:40:24,500
but...
1018
00:40:24,535 --> 00:40:30,506
So, I gave it to, um,
I gave it to Sam...
1019
00:40:30,540 --> 00:40:33,840
On his 8th birthday.
1020
00:40:36,648 --> 00:40:39,450
And that was, um...
1021
00:40:42,355 --> 00:40:47,056
His, um, first trumpet lesson
was scheduled for the day,
1022
00:40:47,090 --> 00:40:51,225
as it turns out, that he
went into the hospital.
1023
00:40:51,259 --> 00:40:54,324
And I... so, he...
1024
00:40:59,733 --> 00:41:02,799
I don't have anything left...
1025
00:41:02,834 --> 00:41:07,272
from my childhood,
but I did keep the trumpet.
1026
00:41:07,307 --> 00:41:09,506
I keep it on the boat.
1027
00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:20,551
Okay, who's next?
1028
00:41:20,586 --> 00:41:21,753
[ Slurps ]
1029
00:41:21,787 --> 00:41:24,557
[ Clears throat ]
1030
00:41:28,389 --> 00:41:31,967
==sync, correction by dcdah==
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