1
00:00:02,110 --> 00:00:03,827
Can't believe how many famous people
2
00:00:03,947 --> 00:00:05,259
are at this charity thing.
3
00:00:05,379 --> 00:00:06,980
There's that one guy
from the commercial.
4
00:00:07,005 --> 00:00:09,166
Oh, my God, look, there's
what's his face from music.
5
00:00:09,174 --> 00:00:10,428
Huh.
6
00:00:12,927 --> 00:00:14,061
Oh, my God.
7
00:00:14,095 --> 00:00:16,480
That's Hope Solo.
8
00:00:16,514 --> 00:00:18,048
The guy from Star Wars?
9
00:00:18,066 --> 00:00:22,319
Hope Solo?
The olympic soccer player?
10
00:00:22,353 --> 00:00:25,405
The hot girl?
11
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:26,573
Yeah, is she hot?
I don't--
12
00:00:26,608 --> 00:00:29,276
you know, I can't--
I don't know.
13
00:00:29,327 --> 00:00:30,560
Oh, my God.
She's coming over here.
14
00:00:30,578 --> 00:00:31,578
Be cool.
15
00:00:31,613 --> 00:00:33,897
- You be cool.
- Yeah.
16
00:00:33,915 --> 00:00:34,915
Is this the line for the bar?
17
00:00:34,949 --> 00:00:36,450
I have--
if there's, um--
18
00:00:36,501 --> 00:00:39,736
mojitos.
I'm good, thanks.
19
00:00:39,754 --> 00:00:41,255
I'm sorry?
20
00:00:41,289 --> 00:00:44,374
I'm sorry, I think he's
trying to say the word "yes."
21
00:00:44,408 --> 00:00:46,910
Yeah, yeah.
Hi, I'm Alex.
22
00:00:46,928 --> 00:00:48,078
Hi, I'm Hope.
23
00:00:48,096 --> 00:00:50,430
Hi.
This is my friend, Whitney.
24
00:00:53,434 --> 00:00:54,601
Wow.
25
00:00:54,636 --> 00:00:56,637
Wife.
26
00:00:56,688 --> 00:01:00,590
Friend.
Okay.
27
00:01:00,608 --> 00:01:02,359
How long have you guys been together?
28
00:01:02,393 --> 00:01:04,094
Four years.
29
00:01:04,112 --> 00:01:07,864
Good luck with that, Alex.
30
00:01:07,899 --> 00:01:09,566
Oh, I can't believe I just did that.
31
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,666
Look, I-I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you.
32
00:01:12,786 --> 00:01:14,203
Okay, to be clear,
33
00:01:14,238 --> 00:01:15,905
a hot, female athlete came over here,
34
00:01:15,939 --> 00:01:19,576
and you tried to pretend
like you were--had--that you--
35
00:01:19,610 --> 00:01:20,827
[laughs]
36
00:01:20,878 --> 00:01:22,495
Sorry.
37
00:01:22,546 --> 00:01:25,415
I am trying very hard
to be mad about this.
38
00:01:25,449 --> 00:01:28,668
You just came off like such an idiot.
39
00:01:28,719 --> 00:01:31,971
Okay, uh, yeah, you know,
I was a big idiot.
40
00:01:32,006 --> 00:01:34,424
Wah-wah.
41
00:01:34,458 --> 00:01:35,791
Why would she go out with you?
42
00:01:35,809 --> 00:01:39,596
She's young, she's gorgeous,
she's talented.
43
00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:42,465
Well, I got you.
44
00:01:42,483 --> 00:01:45,685
Thank you.
45
00:01:45,736 --> 00:01:48,438
Um, so what was I angry about?
46
00:01:48,472 --> 00:01:53,443
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
47
00:01:53,477 --> 00:01:56,446
Hey.
How was your date?
48
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,697
Amazing.
49
00:01:57,748 --> 00:02:02,168
Really?
What amazing date ends at 9:15?
50
00:02:02,202 --> 00:02:03,920
You know, not everyone
waits till the last call
51
00:02:03,954 --> 00:02:08,541
to go home.
52
00:02:08,592 --> 00:02:09,759
Come on, this is, like,
53
00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:11,354
your third time out with him, isn't it?
54
00:02:11,378 --> 00:02:13,096
Didn't he invite you back
to his place or anything?
55
00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:14,297
Yeah, he can't.
56
00:02:14,331 --> 00:02:16,215
He lives in a loft
with a bunch of roommates,
57
00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:17,667
which sucks, 'cause we haven't been able
58
00:02:17,685 --> 00:02:18,768
to spend the night together.
59
00:02:18,802 --> 00:02:22,305
That is the perfect situation for a guy.
60
00:02:22,339 --> 00:02:25,108
There's this girl that I've been seeing.
61
00:02:25,142 --> 00:02:28,645
That's right.
I'm a man, I have needs.
62
00:02:28,679 --> 00:02:30,363
So just consider yourself
on the back burner
63
00:02:30,397 --> 00:02:33,066
until further notice.
64
00:02:33,117 --> 00:02:35,851
And I'm really into the fact
65
00:02:35,869 --> 00:02:37,770
that she never wants to spend the night.
66
00:02:37,805 --> 00:02:39,789
And you think that's a good thing?
67
00:02:39,823 --> 00:02:44,127
Yeah, we all think
it's a good thing, right?
68
00:02:44,161 --> 00:02:46,879
Right?
69
00:02:46,914 --> 00:02:49,966
Just so you know, I don't care.
70
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:50,967
What?
71
00:02:51,001 --> 00:02:53,419
That you're seeing someone.
72
00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:56,139
I mean, it sounded like
you thought I cared,
73
00:02:56,173 --> 00:02:59,392
but I don't.
74
00:02:59,426 --> 00:03:04,480
So I am going to go to the back burner.
75
00:03:04,515 --> 00:03:06,516
Bathroom.
76
00:03:06,550 --> 00:03:07,717
Hey, listen, Mark,
77
00:03:07,735 --> 00:03:09,519
if a girl doesn't want to sleep over,
78
00:03:09,553 --> 00:03:10,987
usually it means
that she doesn't see you
79
00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:13,823
as a provider,
or at least a real option.
80
00:03:13,857 --> 00:03:15,725
Yeah, girls don't usually leave
81
00:03:15,743 --> 00:03:16,943
unless they have a really good reason,
82
00:03:16,994 --> 00:03:18,778
like they're in love with someone else,
83
00:03:18,829 --> 00:03:22,331
or everything in your place is wet.
84
00:03:22,366 --> 00:03:24,617
Well, she has to get up early
for work in the morning.
85
00:03:24,651 --> 00:03:26,002
Oh, what does she do?
86
00:03:26,036 --> 00:03:29,622
Bartender.
87
00:03:29,673 --> 00:03:31,708
Wait, that doesn't make sense.
88
00:03:31,742 --> 00:03:35,595
All right, uh, let me just call her.
89
00:03:35,629 --> 00:03:37,497
Hello?
90
00:03:37,531 --> 00:03:42,902
Uh, Kinko's?
91
00:03:42,936 --> 00:03:45,972
Is Shelly there?
92
00:03:46,023 --> 00:03:47,824
Shelly.
93
00:03:47,858 --> 00:03:50,877
Look, man, Shelly ain't there, okay?
94
00:03:50,911 --> 00:03:55,131
But ask Tamika
if my passport photo is ready.
95
00:04:01,321 --> 00:04:02,455
[Cell phone chimes]
96
00:04:02,489 --> 00:04:03,539
Oh, don't answer it.
97
00:04:03,574 --> 00:04:04,895
Come on, we're watching the news.
98
00:04:04,908 --> 00:04:08,845
Saturday Night Live is not the news.
99
00:04:08,879 --> 00:04:09,945
It's Chloe.
100
00:04:09,963 --> 00:04:10,946
Oh.
101
00:04:10,964 --> 00:04:13,733
Your ex-fiancee
is texting you?
102
00:04:13,767 --> 00:04:16,719
Nope.
I feel nothing.
103
00:04:16,754 --> 00:04:18,004
Yeah, she said she has a job interview
104
00:04:18,038 --> 00:04:19,222
in the city this weekend
105
00:04:19,256 --> 00:04:21,791
and she wants to know
if she can crash here.
106
00:04:21,825 --> 00:04:24,811
Yeah...no.
107
00:04:28,182 --> 00:04:34,153
You want to hear something funny?
108
00:04:34,188 --> 00:04:36,472
What did you do?
109
00:04:36,507 --> 00:04:38,991
Well, last time I saw her,
I kind of mentioned
110
00:04:39,026 --> 00:04:41,811
that if she was ever in town,
she could crash here.
111
00:04:45,315 --> 00:04:46,982
I'm sorry, what?
112
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,252
Well, I didn't expect her
to actually take me up on it.
113
00:04:49,286 --> 00:04:50,419
She'll just be crashing here
for one night.
114
00:04:50,454 --> 00:04:51,838
Okay, first of all,
stop saying "crashing."
115
00:04:51,872 --> 00:04:53,873
You're 30, okay?
116
00:04:53,924 --> 00:04:56,209
Second of all,
you want your ex-fiancee
117
00:04:56,260 --> 00:04:58,344
to stay with us
in our one bedroom apartment,
118
00:04:58,378 --> 00:05:02,181
the one she used to live in before me?
119
00:05:02,216 --> 00:05:04,517
See, isn't that funny?
120
00:05:04,551 --> 00:05:06,602
No, it's weird.
121
00:05:06,637 --> 00:05:07,637
Oh, come on, don't be like that.
122
00:05:07,671 --> 00:05:08,855
You need to call her and tell her
123
00:05:08,889 --> 00:05:11,474
that she cannot stay here.
124
00:05:11,508 --> 00:05:12,725
Oh, you know how she is.
She's so fragile.
125
00:05:12,776 --> 00:05:13,726
Whenever she gets her feelings hurt,
126
00:05:13,777 --> 00:05:16,112
she just falls apart.
127
00:05:16,146 --> 00:05:18,231
Okay, she does sound fun
to hang out with,
128
00:05:18,282 --> 00:05:21,651
but she cannot stay here.
129
00:05:21,685 --> 00:05:23,202
Wait a minute.
130
00:05:23,237 --> 00:05:24,453
Is this about me
not ordering those curtains yet?
131
00:05:24,488 --> 00:05:25,655
'Cause I can do it right now.
132
00:05:25,689 --> 00:05:27,240
I'll pull it up online.
Let me do it online.
133
00:05:27,291 --> 00:05:28,875
No, no, no, no, no, no.
134
00:05:28,909 --> 00:05:31,761
This is about what this is about.
135
00:05:31,795 --> 00:05:32,962
Okay, you're putting me in a completely
136
00:05:32,996 --> 00:05:34,839
uncomfortable situation.
137
00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:40,419
How come you never
wear that bracelet I got you?
138
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,171
Stop trying to distract me.
139
00:05:42,206 --> 00:05:44,807
I am not letting
some desperate, broken girl
140
00:05:44,842 --> 00:05:45,808
come stay in your place.
141
00:05:45,843 --> 00:05:47,343
Last time that happened, you got a wife.
142
00:05:47,377 --> 00:05:49,378
That is my move.
143
00:05:51,439 --> 00:05:53,463
Look, when you think about it,
this isn't my fault.
144
00:05:53,583 --> 00:05:55,748
You forced me to find Chloe
and have us reconnect.
145
00:05:56,041 --> 00:05:59,294
Okay, I wanted you
to get closure with her,
146
00:05:59,328 --> 00:06:03,248
not for us to be Mormons.
147
00:06:03,282 --> 00:06:04,666
Call her.
148
00:06:04,717 --> 00:06:06,718
[Groans]
149
00:06:13,726 --> 00:06:14,676
She's not answering.
150
00:06:14,727 --> 00:06:16,895
Alex!
151
00:06:16,929 --> 00:06:20,064
All right.
152
00:06:22,985 --> 00:06:25,153
Hey, Chloe.
Uh, hey, it's Alex.
153
00:06:25,187 --> 00:06:27,855
Yeah, um--
oh, I'm good.
154
00:06:27,890 --> 00:06:30,341
Um, about Saturday--
155
00:06:30,376 --> 00:06:32,510
uh, turns out there's kind of a problem,
156
00:06:32,544 --> 00:06:35,446
and, uh--
157
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:36,814
uh--
Oh, no, it's not that.
158
00:06:36,832 --> 00:06:38,783
It's just that, uh,
Whit's not cool with it.
159
00:06:38,817 --> 00:06:40,285
Alex, don't say that!
160
00:06:40,319 --> 00:06:41,959
Okay, change of heart.
You're confirmed.
161
00:06:41,987 --> 00:06:44,422
See you Saturday.
162
00:06:47,343 --> 00:06:48,626
Confirmed?
163
00:06:48,660 --> 00:06:52,013
Well, she got quiet,
you got loud, I got scared.
164
00:06:57,169 --> 00:06:58,269
[Knock at door]
165
00:06:58,304 --> 00:07:01,005
Okay, it's Chloe.
Please play nice.
166
00:07:01,023 --> 00:07:02,140
Okay, I'm going to be nice to her.
167
00:07:02,174 --> 00:07:04,175
I'm not going to be nice to you.
168
00:07:04,193 --> 00:07:08,980
Perfect, so just act
how you normally do.
169
00:07:09,014 --> 00:07:11,065
- Hi, guys!
- Hi!
170
00:07:11,116 --> 00:07:13,201
Thank you so much
for letting me stay here.
171
00:07:13,235 --> 00:07:16,120
Fun ahead.
172
00:07:16,155 --> 00:07:17,822
Hi.
Here, let me take your luggage.
173
00:07:17,856 --> 00:07:19,374
Thank you.
174
00:07:19,408 --> 00:07:21,709
Oh, no.
175
00:07:21,744 --> 00:07:22,910
Not going to hug you, Alex.
176
00:07:22,962 --> 00:07:25,163
I've had quite enough of that in my day.
177
00:07:25,197 --> 00:07:27,799
Also, I don't think
my boyfriend would appreciate
178
00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:31,085
some strange man's hands all over me.
179
00:07:31,136 --> 00:07:33,338
Boyfriend?
That is so great.
180
00:07:33,372 --> 00:07:35,373
- Nick is my soul mate.
- Oh, okay.
181
00:07:35,391 --> 00:07:37,592
We met when he sat next to me on a bus.
182
00:07:37,643 --> 00:07:40,345
Hello, fate, nice to meet you, right?
183
00:07:40,379 --> 00:07:42,680
I-I just feel
like a new woman.
184
00:07:42,714 --> 00:07:44,565
It's like, sometimes I look
at myself in the mirror,
185
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,485
and I'm like,
"who are you?"
186
00:07:47,519 --> 00:07:50,772
But then I'm like,
"oh, girl, I know who you are.
187
00:07:50,823 --> 00:07:54,859
I didn't recognize you
'cause you're smiling so much."
188
00:07:54,893 --> 00:07:58,162
Sit down, make yourself at home.
189
00:07:58,197 --> 00:08:01,449
Oh, wow.
Hello again, couch.
190
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,251
This is really taking me back.
191
00:08:03,285 --> 00:08:07,472
We spent a lot of time on this thing.
192
00:08:07,506 --> 00:08:08,923
Movies.
She means watching movies.
193
00:08:08,957 --> 00:08:11,676
Oh, uh, plus, uh,
we re-covered the couch,
194
00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:13,044
so it's basically, like, a new couch.
195
00:08:13,078 --> 00:08:14,178
Uh, Whitney picked out the fabric.
196
00:08:14,213 --> 00:08:17,849
I love the new fabric.
I love Whitney.
197
00:08:17,883 --> 00:08:19,517
- Hey.
- Hmm?
198
00:08:19,551 --> 00:08:20,635
I'm not going to lie, Whitney.
199
00:08:20,686 --> 00:08:22,770
I was also a little bit
worried about this.
200
00:08:22,805 --> 00:08:25,857
I was all, "Chloe,
this might be weird, girl."
201
00:08:25,891 --> 00:08:27,591
But it's not.
202
00:08:27,609 --> 00:08:30,761
Chloe, stop being so paranoid.
203
00:08:30,779 --> 00:08:33,147
I'm sorry, I am lost.
204
00:08:33,198 --> 00:08:34,432
Do you mind if I use the bathroom?
205
00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:35,733
Oh, no, no, no.
It's, uh, right--
206
00:08:35,767 --> 00:08:38,653
you know where it is,
'cause you lived here.
207
00:08:38,704 --> 00:08:41,656
Ugh, a bottle of lotion
exploded in my bag.
208
00:08:41,707 --> 00:08:44,542
Bath and body works, one, Chloe, zero.
209
00:08:44,576 --> 00:08:47,045
Do you have something
that I could sleep in?
210
00:08:47,079 --> 00:08:50,631
Oh, I was hoping
that you would ask that.
211
00:08:50,666 --> 00:08:52,417
Ooh, ooh, Alex, do you still have
212
00:08:52,451 --> 00:08:54,435
those flannel pajamas
that we got in Maine?
213
00:08:54,470 --> 00:08:56,220
What was that thing that
you always said about Maine?
214
00:08:56,255 --> 00:09:00,458
Yeah, what was the thing?
215
00:09:02,561 --> 00:09:05,847
Um, in Maine, I was your main man.
216
00:09:05,898 --> 00:09:11,018
[Laughs]
217
00:09:11,070 --> 00:09:13,488
Well, I'm obviously leaving, for sure.
218
00:09:13,522 --> 00:09:15,002
Me too.
Let's, uh, let's do something.
219
00:09:15,023 --> 00:09:15,990
What do you want to do?
I'm so hungry.
220
00:09:16,024 --> 00:09:17,024
No, no, no, no, no, no.
221
00:09:17,076 --> 00:09:18,192
You are staying here with your guest.
222
00:09:18,243 --> 00:09:19,744
I'm going to go down to Mark's.
223
00:09:19,778 --> 00:09:21,079
And if he's not home, I'll just
walk into oncoming traffic.
224
00:09:21,113 --> 00:09:22,613
No, no, no.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
225
00:09:22,647 --> 00:09:23,748
Come on, you can't
make me stay in here with her.
226
00:09:23,782 --> 00:09:24,832
It'll be weird.
227
00:09:24,867 --> 00:09:28,586
Oh, because it's not weird now?
228
00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:30,338
I am going down to Mark's.
229
00:09:30,372 --> 00:09:31,672
Fun ahead.
230
00:09:36,795 --> 00:09:40,131
[Knock at door]
231
00:09:40,165 --> 00:09:42,216
Hey, Mark, can I, uh,
hang out here for a while?
232
00:09:42,267 --> 00:09:43,667
Sure.
What's going on?
233
00:09:43,685 --> 00:09:44,852
Uh, Chloe.
234
00:09:44,887 --> 00:09:47,588
Ooh, you left him alone
up there with her?
235
00:09:47,623 --> 00:09:49,974
Oh, uh, he's not alone.
236
00:09:50,008 --> 00:09:55,179
Apparently there's, like, two of her.
237
00:09:55,197 --> 00:09:56,864
Hey, since you're here,
238
00:09:56,899 --> 00:09:58,483
could you maybe
take a look around and see
239
00:09:58,517 --> 00:09:59,850
if there's anything obvious
240
00:09:59,868 --> 00:10:05,072
that might be making women
not want to spend the night?
241
00:10:05,107 --> 00:10:06,140
You know I can't say no to you
242
00:10:06,175 --> 00:10:09,076
when you make that pathetic face.
243
00:10:09,128 --> 00:10:12,029
I wasn't making a face.
This is just my face.
244
00:10:12,047 --> 00:10:14,332
Well, first of all, this couch,
245
00:10:14,366 --> 00:10:16,050
it is really uncomfortable.
246
00:10:16,084 --> 00:10:17,435
We've just never told you before
'cause we don't want
247
00:10:17,469 --> 00:10:20,054
to help you move a new one in here.
248
00:10:20,088 --> 00:10:24,308
Oh, you only have
red keg cups and paper plates.
249
00:10:24,343 --> 00:10:25,760
Smart, huh?
250
00:10:25,811 --> 00:10:26,894
What this says to women
251
00:10:26,929 --> 00:10:28,379
is that everything is disposable to you,
252
00:10:28,397 --> 00:10:30,898
and that you can't commit to anything.
253
00:10:30,933 --> 00:10:36,521
Or that it's always like
an awesome keg party in here.
254
00:10:36,555 --> 00:10:40,107
When you say it out loud,
it does sound sad.
255
00:10:40,142 --> 00:10:41,609
Okay, okay, okay.
256
00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:44,245
What--what--
why do you have a bunch
257
00:10:44,279 --> 00:10:48,332
of women's hair bands and Bobby pins?
258
00:10:48,367 --> 00:10:50,084
Girls are always
leaving that stuff here,
259
00:10:50,118 --> 00:10:55,406
so I put them in a pile
in case the next girl needs one.
260
00:10:55,424 --> 00:10:57,741
No.
261
00:10:57,759 --> 00:10:59,177
No, no, no, no.
262
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:08,087
Have you seen my laptop?
263
00:11:08,122 --> 00:11:10,656
Oh, you're on it.
264
00:11:10,674 --> 00:11:12,992
I'm iChatting with your mom.
265
00:11:13,027 --> 00:11:14,427
I haven't spoken to her in ages.
266
00:11:14,461 --> 00:11:17,880
Yeah, I guess I got her in the breakup.
267
00:11:17,931 --> 00:11:19,132
Look, Chloe, get off my computer.
268
00:11:19,166 --> 00:11:20,133
I need to use it.
269
00:11:20,167 --> 00:11:21,667
And stop talking to my mom.
270
00:11:21,685 --> 00:11:23,186
She's confused enough about
Whitney and I's relationship
271
00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:24,771
as it is.
272
00:11:24,805 --> 00:11:26,055
[Cell phone chimes]
273
00:11:26,106 --> 00:11:27,774
Oh, this is Nick.
274
00:11:27,808 --> 00:11:29,675
Okay, he's been freaking out all day
275
00:11:29,693 --> 00:11:30,843
because he thinks that I lied to him
276
00:11:30,861 --> 00:11:33,446
about where I'm staying,
so just be quiet.
277
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,366
Okay.
278
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,869
[Soft voice] Hey, baby.
279
00:11:39,903 --> 00:11:44,123
Did you win that sword on eBay?
280
00:11:44,158 --> 00:11:45,541
- Chloe!
- Alex!
281
00:11:45,576 --> 00:11:47,195
[Groans]
282
00:11:50,998 --> 00:11:52,999
Nick.
283
00:11:53,033 --> 00:11:55,301
Okay, I am staying with Alex,
284
00:11:55,335 --> 00:11:56,586
but the only reason
why I didn't tell you
285
00:11:56,637 --> 00:11:58,397
was because I knew
that you would be jealous,
286
00:11:58,422 --> 00:12:00,223
and it's really not that big of a deal.
287
00:12:00,257 --> 00:12:03,059
No, please, don't hang up!
288
00:12:03,093 --> 00:12:05,745
He hung up.
289
00:12:05,779 --> 00:12:06,729
Is he mad?
290
00:12:06,764 --> 00:12:08,431
No.
291
00:12:08,482 --> 00:12:12,652
He will cool down,
and he will call me back.
292
00:12:17,858 --> 00:12:21,778
Chloe, Chloe, Chloe.
293
00:12:21,829 --> 00:12:26,048
You are a strong queen.
294
00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:30,286
And you are the perfect
weight for your height.
295
00:12:30,337 --> 00:12:31,287
[Cell phone chimes]
296
00:12:31,338 --> 00:12:35,508
Okay, there he is.
297
00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:39,145
Wow, no.
298
00:12:39,179 --> 00:12:42,965
No, thank you.
299
00:12:43,016 --> 00:12:47,220
He broke up with me.
300
00:12:47,254 --> 00:12:50,139
No, no, no, no.
301
00:12:50,190 --> 00:12:51,441
You--what--
302
00:12:51,475 --> 00:12:54,193
you're the perfect
weight for your height, or--
303
00:12:54,228 --> 00:12:57,647
It happened.
It's happening.
304
00:12:57,698 --> 00:12:59,431
Are you okay?
305
00:12:59,450 --> 00:13:02,952
He said that my staying here
is completely inappropriate.
306
00:13:08,292 --> 00:13:12,795
Why did you do this to me?
307
00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:13,913
Me?
308
00:13:13,947 --> 00:13:15,781
You're the one that asked to stay here.
309
00:13:15,799 --> 00:13:16,883
You offered.
310
00:13:16,917 --> 00:13:18,117
You accepted.
311
00:13:18,135 --> 00:13:19,802
First of all, stop yelling at me.
312
00:13:19,837 --> 00:13:21,003
No, I'm not--
Oh, okay.
313
00:13:21,054 --> 00:13:22,171
I forget how to fight with you.
314
00:13:22,222 --> 00:13:23,222
Don't you usually
start crying, and--
315
00:13:23,257 --> 00:13:24,223
[sobbing]
316
00:13:24,258 --> 00:13:29,295
Here it is.
317
00:13:29,313 --> 00:13:30,980
And now you're in the bed.
318
00:13:33,466 --> 00:13:35,301
It's Lil.
319
00:13:35,319 --> 00:13:36,319
Both: Hi.
320
00:13:36,353 --> 00:13:37,636
Hey.
321
00:13:37,654 --> 00:13:39,071
I thought you were
going out with that guy again.
322
00:13:39,106 --> 00:13:40,323
Oh, yeah.
I'm on my way.
323
00:13:40,357 --> 00:13:42,108
We're meeting at our usual food truck,
324
00:13:42,142 --> 00:13:45,194
and then we'll make out in the park
325
00:13:45,245 --> 00:13:49,365
until it gets scary.
326
00:13:49,416 --> 00:13:50,833
You're eating from a food truck,
327
00:13:50,868 --> 00:13:53,536
and the park is scary?
328
00:13:53,587 --> 00:13:56,488
Well, it's not like we have
our own place to go back to,
329
00:13:56,507 --> 00:13:58,658
even for just a night,
330
00:13:58,692 --> 00:14:01,010
or even a few hours.
331
00:14:01,044 --> 00:14:03,679
But...oh, well.
332
00:14:03,714 --> 00:14:07,666
How's my hair look
before I get sticks in it?
333
00:14:07,684 --> 00:14:10,002
Hey, I think what Lily is hinting at
334
00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:12,271
is that she wants
some alone time with this dude
335
00:14:12,306 --> 00:14:14,840
in your place.
336
00:14:14,858 --> 00:14:16,559
You're asking me to leave my apartment
337
00:14:16,610 --> 00:14:18,130
so you can have sex with someone in it?
338
00:14:18,145 --> 00:14:19,178
Yeah.
339
00:14:19,196 --> 00:14:22,114
You're exactly
like my ex-husband.
340
00:14:22,149 --> 00:14:23,349
Just let her use your place.
341
00:14:23,367 --> 00:14:24,951
Why don't you let her use your place?
342
00:14:24,985 --> 00:14:29,372
I would, but I don't
know y'all like that.
343
00:14:29,406 --> 00:14:31,157
[Groans] I--
344
00:14:31,191 --> 00:14:34,577
I mean, I guess I can just
keep myself busy until--
345
00:14:34,628 --> 00:14:35,694
What time does this place close?
346
00:14:35,712 --> 00:14:39,749
Like you don't know.
347
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,751
All right, fine.
Okay, go ahead.
348
00:14:41,802 --> 00:14:45,421
Oh, thank you.
I love you.
349
00:14:45,472 --> 00:14:47,340
Hey, that is really nice of you, Rox,
350
00:14:47,374 --> 00:14:50,309
letting your friend get with
some strange dude in your bed.
351
00:14:50,344 --> 00:14:53,262
Oh, well, someone should.
352
00:14:55,999 --> 00:14:57,984
Should I get rid of these bobbleheads?
353
00:14:58,018 --> 00:15:00,319
And replace them with, like, what?
354
00:15:00,354 --> 00:15:03,055
Porcelain cats?
355
00:15:03,073 --> 00:15:05,891
Mark, do you want to know the truth?
356
00:15:05,909 --> 00:15:07,059
For the right girl,
357
00:15:07,077 --> 00:15:10,329
none of this superficial stuff
will matter.
358
00:15:10,364 --> 00:15:13,499
Look, every guy I've ever dated
359
00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:15,701
hated the fact
that I sleep with the TV on.
360
00:15:15,735 --> 00:15:16,735
I leave it on all night.
361
00:15:16,753 --> 00:15:18,070
Ugh, I hate that.
362
00:15:18,105 --> 00:15:19,956
Everybody does.
363
00:15:19,990 --> 00:15:22,908
But Alex has never mentioned it once.
364
00:15:22,926 --> 00:15:26,262
So it's more
about finding the right person?
365
00:15:26,296 --> 00:15:27,913
Awesome.
366
00:15:27,931 --> 00:15:30,850
In that case,
I'm going to keep all my jeans
367
00:15:30,884 --> 00:15:32,751
at the end of my bed.
368
00:15:35,555 --> 00:15:37,473
- Hey.
- Hey.
369
00:15:37,524 --> 00:15:38,608
Uh, listen, do you mind
370
00:15:38,642 --> 00:15:40,026
if I talk to Whitney alone for a second?
371
00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:42,228
Do you want me to go to another room
372
00:15:42,262 --> 00:15:44,263
and pretend to do something?
373
00:15:44,281 --> 00:15:47,533
Yeah, or you could just do something.
374
00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:52,271
No, I'll pretend.
375
00:15:52,289 --> 00:15:54,707
So, uh, how's it going up there?
376
00:15:54,741 --> 00:15:56,976
Uh, it's not ideal.
377
00:15:57,010 --> 00:15:59,295
Um, look, I'm sorry
about this whole thing.
378
00:15:59,329 --> 00:16:01,631
All right, I know that
it was totally inappropriate,
379
00:16:01,665 --> 00:16:03,115
and I crossed a line.
380
00:16:03,133 --> 00:16:05,885
But sometimes, it's really hard
to tell where your line is.
381
00:16:05,919 --> 00:16:07,186
So this is my fault?
382
00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:10,056
Well, no, I just--
it's confusing.
383
00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:11,974
I mean, you thought
that Hope Solo thing was funny.
384
00:16:12,009 --> 00:16:14,093
I mean, you forced me
to have a lap dance
385
00:16:14,127 --> 00:16:15,294
when we were in Michigan.
386
00:16:15,312 --> 00:16:17,847
It's just--
I have a bad back.
387
00:16:17,898 --> 00:16:20,149
I like to farm that stuff out.
388
00:16:20,183 --> 00:16:21,517
See, you're so cool about stuff
389
00:16:21,568 --> 00:16:23,402
that girls are just usually
not cool about.
390
00:16:23,437 --> 00:16:25,655
Okay, well,
then don't punish me for that.
391
00:16:25,689 --> 00:16:27,139
I do not want to be the girlfriend
392
00:16:27,157 --> 00:16:28,658
who's constantly laying down rules.
393
00:16:28,692 --> 00:16:30,359
Don't make me be that girl.
394
00:16:30,394 --> 00:16:35,498
Okay, you know what?
I get it, and I'm sorry.
395
00:16:35,532 --> 00:16:37,033
It's okay.
396
00:16:37,084 --> 00:16:38,117
Good, okay.
397
00:16:38,151 --> 00:16:40,202
So, since it's okay and everything,
398
00:16:40,253 --> 00:16:43,489
and since I love you so much
and you're so pretty--
399
00:16:43,507 --> 00:16:44,924
I mean, you really are a stunner.
400
00:16:44,958 --> 00:16:49,045
Um, can you just be cool one more time?
401
00:16:49,096 --> 00:16:50,680
And that time is now?
402
00:16:50,714 --> 00:16:52,831
We kind of have an unpleasant
situation going on--
403
00:16:52,849 --> 00:16:55,167
[Whistles] Up there.
404
00:16:55,185 --> 00:16:59,004
Oh, no, did you not tell Chloe
about the double flush?
405
00:16:59,022 --> 00:17:00,672
Well, uh, no, um--
406
00:17:00,691 --> 00:17:02,007
Chloe's boyfriend broke up with her,
407
00:17:02,025 --> 00:17:07,179
and now I don't know how
to get her out of our bed.
408
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:10,859
Come on, come on.
Okay, no, honey.
409
00:17:10,877 --> 00:17:12,889
No, no, no.
Back to the couch.
410
00:17:13,009 --> 00:17:14,843
You're going to be able
to lie down in about one second.
411
00:17:14,895 --> 00:17:15,895
Look at the--
it looks like--
412
00:17:15,929 --> 00:17:17,179
- Here.
- No, not there.
413
00:17:17,230 --> 00:17:19,031
It looks like a bed.
It's, like, a half a bed.
414
00:17:19,065 --> 00:17:21,466
Look, come on.
There we go, there we go, baby.
415
00:17:21,484 --> 00:17:23,118
Okay, okay, just stay here.
416
00:17:23,153 --> 00:17:24,987
I'm going to, uh, get you some water.
417
00:17:25,021 --> 00:17:27,623
- Yes.
- Water, water.
418
00:17:27,657 --> 00:17:28,640
Oh, Whit, that was amazing.
419
00:17:28,658 --> 00:17:29,858
Nobody gets Chloe out of bed.
420
00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:31,577
Oh, God.
421
00:17:31,611 --> 00:17:34,830
I am not proud of what I did in there.
422
00:17:34,864 --> 00:17:38,367
And she's going
to be very sore tomorrow.
423
00:17:38,418 --> 00:17:40,152
My life sucks.
424
00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:41,620
Look, Chloe, you're going
to be okay, all right?
425
00:17:41,654 --> 00:17:42,705
We're going to get you through this.
426
00:17:42,756 --> 00:17:44,489
I'm just going to call you a cab.
427
00:17:44,507 --> 00:17:46,008
No.
Would you just--
428
00:17:46,042 --> 00:17:47,009
All right, okay.
429
00:17:47,043 --> 00:17:48,203
But come on, she keeps crying.
430
00:17:48,211 --> 00:17:49,494
Can you just please make her stop?
431
00:17:49,512 --> 00:17:50,495
I'm trying.
432
00:17:50,513 --> 00:17:52,014
You dated her for two years.
433
00:17:52,048 --> 00:17:53,682
How did you used
to get her to stop crying?
434
00:17:53,717 --> 00:17:55,000
I think that, if I did that,
435
00:17:55,018 --> 00:17:58,637
uh, that would probably make you mad.
436
00:17:58,671 --> 00:18:00,472
Oh, but hey, you know what?
Then I'd make her a sandwich.
437
00:18:00,506 --> 00:18:03,025
Okay.
Okay.
438
00:18:03,059 --> 00:18:05,344
Okay, here, Chloe.
Here's some water.
439
00:18:05,362 --> 00:18:07,346
- Whit-Whit?
- Yeah?
440
00:18:07,364 --> 00:18:09,514
Nick was the perfect guy.
441
00:18:09,532 --> 00:18:11,700
I mean, I feel like I'll never
find someone as great as--
442
00:18:11,735 --> 00:18:13,819
No, no.
That is a no.
443
00:18:13,853 --> 00:18:16,288
Get out of there.
You cannot romanticize him.
444
00:18:16,323 --> 00:18:17,856
Okay, the key to getting over a breakup
445
00:18:17,874 --> 00:18:19,575
is focusing on his bad qualities.
446
00:18:19,626 --> 00:18:21,160
So, uh, just think of some things
447
00:18:21,194 --> 00:18:22,711
that really bothered you about him.
448
00:18:22,746 --> 00:18:24,964
Okay, um--
449
00:18:24,998 --> 00:18:26,398
well, I thought it was really gross
450
00:18:26,416 --> 00:18:28,133
that he never shaved his beard.
451
00:18:28,168 --> 00:18:31,387
And he had this whole, like,
sloppy, stoner, hipster vibe.
452
00:18:39,479 --> 00:18:40,429
Okay, okay.
453
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,931
Um, uh, what else?
Keep going.
454
00:18:42,983 --> 00:18:45,550
He has no attention span.
455
00:18:45,568 --> 00:18:48,887
We would be in the middle of
a serious, intimate situation,
456
00:18:48,905 --> 00:18:52,775
and he would just get distracted
by the weirdest things.
457
00:18:52,826 --> 00:18:54,026
Hey, dude, what's up?
458
00:18:54,060 --> 00:18:56,011
I'm eating one of your guys' pickles,
459
00:18:56,046 --> 00:19:01,100
and, uh, I got a question.
460
00:19:01,134 --> 00:19:05,571
No, it's not an emergency.
461
00:19:05,605 --> 00:19:07,723
Well, that was rude.
462
00:19:07,757 --> 00:19:09,708
Oh, my God.
463
00:19:09,742 --> 00:19:10,926
Epiphany.
464
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,845
Of course this happened with Nick.
465
00:19:12,879 --> 00:19:14,096
He's exactly like Alex,
466
00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:15,848
and Alex was exactly like Brent,
467
00:19:15,882 --> 00:19:17,582
and Brent was exactly like Peter.
468
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,251
This is good.
You're thinking clearly.
469
00:19:19,269 --> 00:19:22,604
And look, Chloe, you deserve
so much better than these guys.
470
00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:25,024
Hey.
471
00:19:25,058 --> 00:19:27,726
I didn't say I did.
472
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,429
Thank you.
473
00:19:30,447 --> 00:19:32,231
- Thank you so much, Whitney.
- You're welcome.
474
00:19:32,265 --> 00:19:33,598
- I feel so much better.
- Good.
475
00:19:33,616 --> 00:19:35,934
- Thank you.
- Good, good, girl.
476
00:19:35,952 --> 00:19:37,569
Oh, wow.
477
00:19:37,603 --> 00:19:38,937
Oh, Alex?
478
00:19:38,955 --> 00:19:41,290
I'm going to go ahead
and take my sandwich in the tub.
479
00:19:41,324 --> 00:19:45,077
Thank you.
480
00:19:45,111 --> 00:19:46,545
Whit, that was amazing.
481
00:19:46,579 --> 00:19:50,299
Okay, I guess I'll just take
this sandwich over to Chloe.
482
00:19:50,333 --> 00:19:52,301
Oh, hey, no, no, I won't,
483
00:19:52,335 --> 00:19:53,669
because that's completely inappropriate,
484
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,888
because she's naked in the tub,
485
00:19:55,922 --> 00:20:00,759
and that wouldn't be, uh,
okay with you, obviously.
486
00:20:00,793 --> 00:20:01,810
[Laughs]
487
00:20:01,845 --> 00:20:03,228
Very good.
488
00:20:03,263 --> 00:20:07,983
So I guess that means I will
take this to her in the tub.
489
00:20:08,017 --> 00:20:12,187
Her pickle and bread sandwich.
490
00:20:12,238 --> 00:20:14,139
[Knock at door]
491
00:20:14,157 --> 00:20:15,140
Hey, Mark.
492
00:20:15,158 --> 00:20:16,808
Can I come in?
493
00:20:16,826 --> 00:20:19,644
Or are you entertaining a basic bitch?
494
00:20:19,662 --> 00:20:22,481
Nope.
Come on in.
495
00:20:22,499 --> 00:20:25,984
I gave Lily the night alone
with her new guy,
496
00:20:26,002 --> 00:20:27,619
so can I hang out here for a bit?
497
00:20:27,653 --> 00:20:29,154
I mean,
I tried Whitney's first, but--
498
00:20:29,172 --> 00:20:31,123
Chloe.
499
00:20:31,157 --> 00:20:33,792
Yeah, stay as long as you want.
500
00:20:33,826 --> 00:20:35,711
Sorry about the couch.
501
00:20:35,762 --> 00:20:36,962
What do you mean?
502
00:20:36,996 --> 00:20:37,963
I like your couch.
503
00:20:37,997 --> 00:20:40,632
Oh. Okay.
504
00:20:40,666 --> 00:20:42,718
Uh, hey, you want a drink or something?
505
00:20:42,769 --> 00:20:44,019
I got vodka in the freezer.
506
00:20:44,053 --> 00:20:47,723
Oh, please.
[Chuckles]
507
00:20:47,774 --> 00:20:50,225
Oh, you can just put it
in one of those keg cups.
508
00:20:50,276 --> 00:20:53,812
Makes it a party.
509
00:20:53,846 --> 00:20:54,863
Ooh, Bobby pin.
510
00:20:54,898 --> 00:20:59,485
My bangs are driving me insane.
511
00:21:02,322 --> 00:21:04,072
You know what?
512
00:21:04,124 --> 00:21:06,825
Maybe I'll let Lily
have the place all night,
513
00:21:06,859 --> 00:21:08,160
and I'll just stay here on your couch.
514
00:21:08,194 --> 00:21:11,330
I mean, if that's okay with you.
515
00:21:11,364 --> 00:21:15,884
Yeah, that'd be--
of course, yeah.
516
00:21:15,919 --> 00:21:18,108
But don't come near me
during the hour that I sleep,
517
00:21:18,228 --> 00:21:19,441
Or I will choke you up.
518
00:21:19,561 --> 00:21:27,838
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com