1
00:00:03,110 --> 00:00:04,827
Can't believe how many famous people
2
00:00:04,947 --> 00:00:06,259
are at this charity thing.
3
00:00:06,379 --> 00:00:07,980
There's that one guy
from the commercial.
4
00:00:08,005 --> 00:00:10,166
Oh, my God, look, there's
what's his face from music.
5
00:00:10,174 --> 00:00:11,428
Huh.
6
00:00:13,927 --> 00:00:15,061
Oh, my God.
7
00:00:15,095 --> 00:00:17,480
That's Hope Solo.
8
00:00:17,514 --> 00:00:19,048
The guy from Star Wars?
9
00:00:19,066 --> 00:00:23,319
Hope Solo?
The olympic soccer player?
10
00:00:23,353 --> 00:00:26,405
The hot girl?
11
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,573
Yeah, is she hot?
I don't--
12
00:00:27,608 --> 00:00:30,276
you know, I can't--
I don't know.
13
00:00:30,327 --> 00:00:31,560
Oh, my God.
She's coming over here.
14
00:00:31,578 --> 00:00:32,578
Be cool.
15
00:00:32,613 --> 00:00:34,897
- You be cool.
- Yeah.
16
00:00:34,915 --> 00:00:35,915
Is this the line for the bar?
17
00:00:35,949 --> 00:00:37,450
I have--
if there's, um--
18
00:00:37,501 --> 00:00:40,736
mojitos.
I'm good, thanks.
19
00:00:40,754 --> 00:00:42,255
I'm sorry?
20
00:00:42,289 --> 00:00:45,374
I'm sorry, I think he's
trying to say the word "yes."
21
00:00:45,408 --> 00:00:47,910
Yeah, yeah.
Hi, I'm Alex.
22
00:00:47,928 --> 00:00:49,078
Hi, I'm Hope.
23
00:00:49,096 --> 00:00:51,430
Hi.
This is my friend, Whitney.
24
00:00:54,434 --> 00:00:55,601
Wow.
25
00:00:55,636 --> 00:00:57,637
Wife.
26
00:00:57,688 --> 00:01:01,590
Friend.
Okay.
27
00:01:01,608 --> 00:01:03,359
How long have you guys been together?
28
00:01:03,393 --> 00:01:05,094
Four years.
29
00:01:05,112 --> 00:01:08,864
Good luck with that, Alex.
30
00:01:08,899 --> 00:01:10,566
Oh, I can't believe I just did that.
31
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,666
Look, I-I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you.
32
00:01:13,786 --> 00:01:15,203
Okay, to be clear,
33
00:01:15,238 --> 00:01:16,905
a hot, female athlete came over here,
34
00:01:16,939 --> 00:01:20,576
and you tried to pretend
like you were--had--that you--
35
00:01:20,610 --> 00:01:21,827
[laughs]
36
00:01:21,878 --> 00:01:23,495
Sorry.
37
00:01:23,546 --> 00:01:26,415
I am trying very hard
to be mad about this.
38
00:01:26,449 --> 00:01:29,668
You just came off like such an idiot.
39
00:01:29,719 --> 00:01:32,971
Okay, uh, yeah, you know,
I was a big idiot.
40
00:01:33,006 --> 00:01:35,424
Wah-wah.
41
00:01:35,458 --> 00:01:36,791
Why would she go out with you?
42
00:01:36,809 --> 00:01:40,596
She's young, she's gorgeous,
she's talented.
43
00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:43,465
Well, I got you.
44
00:01:43,483 --> 00:01:46,685
Thank you.
45
00:01:46,736 --> 00:01:49,438
Um, so what was I angry about?
46
00:01:49,472 --> 00:01:54,443
Sync & corrections by honeybunny & JustAdith88
www.addic7ed.com
47
00:01:54,477 --> 00:01:57,446
Hey.
How was your date?
48
00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:58,697
Amazing.
49
00:01:58,748 --> 00:02:03,168
Really?
What amazing date ends at 9:15?
50
00:02:03,202 --> 00:02:04,920
You know, not everyone
waits till the last call
51
00:02:04,954 --> 00:02:09,541
to go home.
52
00:02:09,592 --> 00:02:10,759
Come on, this is, like,
53
00:02:10,793 --> 00:02:12,354
your third time out with him, isn't it?
54
00:02:12,378 --> 00:02:14,096
Didn't he invite you back
to his place or anything?
55
00:02:14,130 --> 00:02:15,297
Yeah, he can't.
56
00:02:15,331 --> 00:02:17,215
He lives in a loft
with a bunch of roommates,
57
00:02:17,266 --> 00:02:18,667
which sucks, 'cause we haven't been able
58
00:02:18,685 --> 00:02:19,768
to spend the night together.
59
00:02:19,802 --> 00:02:23,305
That is the perfect situation for a guy.
60
00:02:23,339 --> 00:02:26,108
There's this girl that I've been seeing.
61
00:02:26,142 --> 00:02:29,645
That's right.
I'm a man, I have needs.
62
00:02:29,679 --> 00:02:31,363
So just consider yourself
on the back burner
63
00:02:31,397 --> 00:02:34,066
until further notice.
64
00:02:34,117 --> 00:02:36,851
And I'm really into the fact
65
00:02:36,869 --> 00:02:38,770
that she never wants to spend the night.
66
00:02:38,805 --> 00:02:40,789
And you think that's a good thing?
67
00:02:40,823 --> 00:02:45,127
Yeah, we all think
it's a good thing, right?
68
00:02:45,161 --> 00:02:47,879
Right?
69
00:02:47,914 --> 00:02:50,966
Just so you know, I don't care.
70
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:51,967
What?
71
00:02:52,001 --> 00:02:54,419
That you're seeing someone.
72
00:02:54,470 --> 00:02:57,139
I mean, it sounded like
you thought I cared,
73
00:02:57,173 --> 00:03:00,392
but I don't.
74
00:03:00,426 --> 00:03:05,480
So I am going to go to the back burner.
75
00:03:05,515 --> 00:03:07,516
Bathroom.
76
00:03:07,550 --> 00:03:08,717
Hey, listen, Mark,
77
00:03:08,735 --> 00:03:10,519
if a girl doesn't want to sleep over,
78
00:03:10,553 --> 00:03:11,987
usually it means
that she doesn't see you
79
00:03:12,021 --> 00:03:14,823
as a provider,
or at least a real option.
80
00:03:14,857 --> 00:03:16,725
Yeah, girls don't usually leave
81
00:03:16,743 --> 00:03:17,943
unless they have a really good reason,
82
00:03:17,994 --> 00:03:19,778
like they're in love with someone else,
83
00:03:19,829 --> 00:03:23,331
or everything in your place is wet.
84
00:03:23,366 --> 00:03:25,617
Well, she has to get up early
for work in the morning.
85
00:03:25,651 --> 00:03:27,002
Oh, what does she do?
86
00:03:27,036 --> 00:03:30,622
Bartender.
87
00:03:30,673 --> 00:03:32,708
Wait, that doesn't make sense.
88
00:03:32,742 --> 00:03:36,595
All right, uh, let me just call her.
89
00:03:36,629 --> 00:03:38,497
Hello?
90
00:03:38,531 --> 00:03:43,902
Uh, Kinko's?
91
00:03:43,936 --> 00:03:46,972
Is Shelly there?
92
00:03:47,023 --> 00:03:48,824
Shelly.
93
00:03:48,858 --> 00:03:51,877
Look, man, Shelly ain't there, okay?
94
00:03:51,911 --> 00:03:56,131
But ask Tamika
if my passport photo is ready.
95
00:04:02,321 --> 00:04:03,455
[Cell phone chimes]
96
00:04:03,489 --> 00:04:04,539
Oh, don't answer it.
97
00:04:04,574 --> 00:04:05,895
Come on, we're watching the news.
98
00:04:05,908 --> 00:04:09,845
Saturday Night Live is not the news.
99
00:04:09,879 --> 00:04:10,945
It's Chloe.
100
00:04:10,963 --> 00:04:11,946
Oh.
101
00:04:11,964 --> 00:04:14,733
Your ex-fiancee
is texting you?
102
00:04:14,767 --> 00:04:17,719
Nope.
I feel nothing.
103
00:04:17,754 --> 00:04:19,004
Yeah, she said she has a job interview
104
00:04:19,038 --> 00:04:20,222
in the city this weekend
105
00:04:20,256 --> 00:04:22,791
and she wants to know
if she can crash here.
106
00:04:22,825 --> 00:04:25,811
Yeah...no.
107
00:04:29,182 --> 00:04:35,153
You want to hear something funny?
108
00:04:35,188 --> 00:04:37,472
What did you do?
109
00:04:37,507 --> 00:04:39,991
Well, last time I saw her,
I kind of mentioned
110
00:04:40,026 --> 00:04:42,811
that if she was ever in town,
she could crash here.
111
00:04:46,315 --> 00:04:47,982
I'm sorry, what?
112
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,252
Well, I didn't expect her
to actually take me up on it.
113
00:04:50,286 --> 00:04:51,419
She'll just be crashing here
for one night.
114
00:04:51,454 --> 00:04:52,838
Okay, first of all,
stop saying "crashing."
115
00:04:52,872 --> 00:04:54,873
You're 30, okay?
116
00:04:54,924 --> 00:04:57,209
Second of all,
you want your ex-fiancee
117
00:04:57,260 --> 00:04:59,344
to stay with us
in our one bedroom apartment,
118
00:04:59,378 --> 00:05:03,181
the one she used to live in before me?
119
00:05:03,216 --> 00:05:05,517
See, isn't that funny?
120
00:05:05,551 --> 00:05:07,602
No, it's weird.
121
00:05:07,637 --> 00:05:08,637
Oh, come on, don't be like that.
122
00:05:08,671 --> 00:05:09,855
You need to call her and tell her
123
00:05:09,889 --> 00:05:12,474
that she cannot stay here.
124
00:05:12,508 --> 00:05:13,725
Oh, you know how she is.
She's so fragile.
125
00:05:13,776 --> 00:05:14,726
Whenever she gets her feelings hurt,
126
00:05:14,777 --> 00:05:17,112
she just falls apart.
127
00:05:17,146 --> 00:05:19,231
Okay, she does sound fun
to hang out with,
128
00:05:19,282 --> 00:05:22,651
but she cannot stay here.
129
00:05:22,685 --> 00:05:24,202
Wait a minute.
130
00:05:24,237 --> 00:05:25,453
Is this about me
not ordering those curtains yet?
131
00:05:25,488 --> 00:05:26,655
'Cause I can do it right now.
132
00:05:26,689 --> 00:05:28,240
I'll pull it up online.
Let me do it online.
133
00:05:28,291 --> 00:05:29,875
No, no, no, no, no, no.
134
00:05:29,909 --> 00:05:32,761
This is about what this is about.
135
00:05:32,795 --> 00:05:33,962
Okay, you're putting me in a completely
136
00:05:33,996 --> 00:05:35,839
uncomfortable situation.
137
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:41,419
How come you never
wear that bracelet I got you?
138
00:05:41,470 --> 00:05:43,171
Stop trying to distract me.
139
00:05:43,206 --> 00:05:45,807
I am not letting
some desperate, broken girl
140
00:05:45,842 --> 00:05:46,808
come stay in your place.
141
00:05:46,843 --> 00:05:48,343
Last time that happened, you got a wife.
142
00:05:48,377 --> 00:05:50,378
That is my move.
143
00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:54,463
Look, when you think about it,
this isn't my fault.
144
00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:56,748
You forced me to find Chloe
and have us reconnect.
145
00:05:57,041 --> 00:06:00,294
Okay, I wanted you
to get closure with her,
146
00:06:00,328 --> 00:06:04,248
not for us to be Mormons.
147
00:06:04,282 --> 00:06:05,666
Call her.
148
00:06:05,717 --> 00:06:07,718
[Groans]
149
00:06:14,726 --> 00:06:15,676
She's not answering.
150
00:06:15,727 --> 00:06:17,895
Alex!
151
00:06:17,929 --> 00:06:21,064
All right.
152
00:06:23,985 --> 00:06:26,153
Hey, Chloe.
Uh, hey, it's Alex.
153
00:06:26,187 --> 00:06:28,855
Yeah, um--
oh, I'm good.
154
00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:31,341
Um, about Saturday--
155
00:06:31,376 --> 00:06:33,510
uh, turns out there's kind of a problem,
156
00:06:33,544 --> 00:06:36,446
and, uh--
157
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,814
uh--
Oh, no, it's not that.
158
00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,783
It's just that, uh,
Whit's not cool with it.
159
00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,285
Alex, don't say that!
160
00:06:41,319 --> 00:06:42,959
Okay, change of heart.
You're confirmed.
161
00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:45,422
See you Saturday.
162
00:06:48,343 --> 00:06:49,626
Confirmed?
163
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:53,013
Well, she got quiet,
you got loud, I got scared.
164
00:06:58,169 --> 00:06:59,269
[Knock at door]
165
00:06:59,304 --> 00:07:02,005
Okay, it's Chloe.
Please play nice.
166
00:07:02,023 --> 00:07:03,140
Okay, I'm going to be nice to her.
167
00:07:03,174 --> 00:07:05,175
I'm not going to be nice to you.
168
00:07:05,193 --> 00:07:09,980
Perfect, so just act
how you normally do.
169
00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:12,065
- Hi, guys!
- Hi!
170
00:07:12,116 --> 00:07:14,201
Thank you so much
for letting me stay here.
171
00:07:14,235 --> 00:07:17,120
Fun ahead.
172
00:07:17,155 --> 00:07:18,822
Hi.
Here, let me take your luggage.
173
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,374
Thank you.
174
00:07:20,408 --> 00:07:22,709
Oh, no.
175
00:07:22,744 --> 00:07:23,910
Not going to hug you, Alex.
176
00:07:23,962 --> 00:07:26,163
I've had quite enough of that in my day.
177
00:07:26,197 --> 00:07:28,799
Also, I don't think
my boyfriend would appreciate
178
00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:32,085
some strange man's hands all over me.
179
00:07:32,136 --> 00:07:34,338
Boyfriend?
That is so great.
180
00:07:34,372 --> 00:07:36,373
- Nick is my soul mate.
- Oh, okay.
181
00:07:36,391 --> 00:07:38,592
We met when he sat next to me on a bus.
182
00:07:38,643 --> 00:07:41,345
Hello, fate, nice to meet you, right?
183
00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:43,680
I-I just feel
like a new woman.
184
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,565
It's like, sometimes I look
at myself in the mirror,
185
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,485
and I'm like,
"who are you?"
186
00:07:48,519 --> 00:07:51,772
But then I'm like,
"oh, girl, I know who you are.
187
00:07:51,823 --> 00:07:55,859
I didn't recognize you
'cause you're smiling so much."
188
00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:59,162
Sit down, make yourself at home.
189
00:07:59,197 --> 00:08:02,449
Oh, wow.
Hello again, couch.
190
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,251
This is really taking me back.
191
00:08:04,285 --> 00:08:08,472
We spent a lot of time on this thing.
192
00:08:08,506 --> 00:08:09,923
Movies.
She means watching movies.
193
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:12,676
Oh, uh, plus, uh,
we re-covered the couch,
194
00:08:12,710 --> 00:08:14,044
so it's basically, like, a new couch.
195
00:08:14,078 --> 00:08:15,178
Uh, Whitney picked out the fabric.
196
00:08:15,213 --> 00:08:18,849
I love the new fabric.
I love Whitney.
197
00:08:18,883 --> 00:08:20,517
- Hey.
- Hmm?
198
00:08:20,551 --> 00:08:21,635
I'm not going to lie, Whitney.
199
00:08:21,686 --> 00:08:23,770
I was also a little bit
worried about this.
200
00:08:23,805 --> 00:08:26,857
I was all, "Chloe,
this might be weird, girl."
201
00:08:26,891 --> 00:08:28,591
But it's not.
202
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:31,761
Chloe, stop being so paranoid.
203
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:34,147
I'm sorry, I am lost.
204
00:08:34,198 --> 00:08:35,432
Do you mind if I use the bathroom?
205
00:08:35,450 --> 00:08:36,733
Oh, no, no, no.
It's, uh, right--
206
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:39,653
you know where it is,
'cause you lived here.
207
00:08:39,704 --> 00:08:42,656
Ugh, a bottle of lotion
exploded in my bag.
208
00:08:42,707 --> 00:08:45,542
Bath and body works, one, Chloe, zero.
209
00:08:45,576 --> 00:08:48,045
Do you have something
that I could sleep in?
210
00:08:48,079 --> 00:08:51,631
Oh, I was hoping
that you would ask that.
211
00:08:51,666 --> 00:08:53,417
Ooh, ooh, Alex, do you still have
212
00:08:53,451 --> 00:08:55,435
those flannel pajamas
that we got in Maine?
213
00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:57,220
What was that thing that
you always said about Maine?
214
00:08:57,255 --> 00:09:01,458
Yeah, what was the thing?
215
00:09:03,561 --> 00:09:06,847
Um, in Maine, I was your main man.
216
00:09:06,898 --> 00:09:12,018
[Laughs]
217
00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:14,488
Well, I'm obviously leaving, for sure.
218
00:09:14,522 --> 00:09:16,002
Me too.
Let's, uh, let's do something.
219
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:16,990
What do you want to do?
I'm so hungry.
220
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:18,024
No, no, no, no, no, no.
221
00:09:18,076 --> 00:09:19,192
You are staying here with your guest.
222
00:09:19,243 --> 00:09:20,744
I'm going to go down to Mark's.
223
00:09:20,778 --> 00:09:22,079
And if he's not home, I'll just
walk into oncoming traffic.
224
00:09:22,113 --> 00:09:23,613
No, no, no.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
225
00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:24,748
Come on, you can't
make me stay in here with her.
226
00:09:24,782 --> 00:09:25,832
It'll be weird.
227
00:09:25,867 --> 00:09:29,586
Oh, because it's not weird now?
228
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:31,338
I am going down to Mark's.
229
00:09:31,372 --> 00:09:32,672
Fun ahead.
230
00:09:37,795 --> 00:09:41,131
[Knock at door]
231
00:09:41,165 --> 00:09:43,216
Hey, Mark, can I, uh,
hang out here for a while?
232
00:09:43,267 --> 00:09:44,667
Sure.
What's going on?
233
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:45,852
Uh, Chloe.
234
00:09:45,887 --> 00:09:48,588
Ooh, you left him alone
up there with her?
235
00:09:48,623 --> 00:09:50,974
Oh, uh, he's not alone.
236
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:56,179
Apparently there's, like, two of her.
237
00:09:56,197 --> 00:09:57,864
Hey, since you're here,
238
00:09:57,899 --> 00:09:59,483
could you maybe
take a look around and see
239
00:09:59,517 --> 00:10:00,850
if there's anything obvious
240
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:06,072
that might be making women
not want to spend the night?
241
00:10:06,107 --> 00:10:07,140
You know I can't say no to you
242
00:10:07,175 --> 00:10:10,076
when you make that pathetic face.
243
00:10:10,128 --> 00:10:13,029
I wasn't making a face.
This is just my face.
244
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:15,332
Well, first of all, this couch,
245
00:10:15,366 --> 00:10:17,050
it is really uncomfortable.
246
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,435
We've just never told you before
'cause we don't want
247
00:10:18,469 --> 00:10:21,054
to help you move a new one in here.
248
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:25,308
Oh, you only have
red keg cups and paper plates.
249
00:10:25,343 --> 00:10:26,760
Smart, huh?
250
00:10:26,811 --> 00:10:27,894
What this says to women
251
00:10:27,929 --> 00:10:29,379
is that everything is disposable to you,
252
00:10:29,397 --> 00:10:31,898
and that you can't commit to anything.
253
00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:37,521
Or that it's always like
an awesome keg party in here.
254
00:10:37,555 --> 00:10:41,107
When you say it out loud,
it does sound sad.
255
00:10:41,142 --> 00:10:42,609
Okay, okay, okay.
256
00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:45,245
What--what--
why do you have a bunch
257
00:10:45,279 --> 00:10:49,332
of women's hair bands and Bobby pins?
258
00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:51,084
Girls are always
leaving that stuff here,
259
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:56,406
so I put them in a pile
in case the next girl needs one.
260
00:10:56,424 --> 00:10:58,741
No.
261
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,177
No, no, no, no.
262
00:11:07,420 --> 00:11:09,087
Have you seen my laptop?
263
00:11:09,122 --> 00:11:11,656
Oh, you're on it.
264
00:11:11,674 --> 00:11:13,992
I'm iChatting with your mom.
265
00:11:14,027 --> 00:11:15,427
I haven't spoken to her in ages.
266
00:11:15,461 --> 00:11:18,880
Yeah, I guess I got her in the breakup.
267
00:11:18,931 --> 00:11:20,132
Look, Chloe, get off my computer.
268
00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:21,133
I need to use it.
269
00:11:21,167 --> 00:11:22,667
And stop talking to my mom.
270
00:11:22,685 --> 00:11:24,186
She's confused enough about
Whitney and I's relationship
271
00:11:24,220 --> 00:11:25,771
as it is.
272
00:11:25,805 --> 00:11:27,055
[Cell phone chimes]
273
00:11:27,106 --> 00:11:28,774
Oh, this is Nick.
274
00:11:28,808 --> 00:11:30,675
Okay, he's been freaking out all day
275
00:11:30,693 --> 00:11:31,843
because he thinks that I lied to him
276
00:11:31,861 --> 00:11:34,446
about where I'm staying,
so just be quiet.
277
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,366
Okay.
278
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,869
[Soft voice] Hey, baby.
279
00:11:40,903 --> 00:11:45,123
Did you win that sword on eBay?
280
00:11:45,158 --> 00:11:46,541
- Chloe!
- Alex!
281
00:11:46,576 --> 00:11:48,195
[Groans]
282
00:11:51,998 --> 00:11:53,999
Nick.
283
00:11:54,033 --> 00:11:56,301
Okay, I am staying with Alex,
284
00:11:56,335 --> 00:11:57,586
but the only reason
why I didn't tell you
285
00:11:57,637 --> 00:11:59,397
was because I knew
that you would be jealous,
286
00:11:59,422 --> 00:12:01,223
and it's really not that big of a deal.
287
00:12:01,257 --> 00:12:04,059
No, please, don't hang up!
288
00:12:04,093 --> 00:12:06,745
He hung up.
289
00:12:06,779 --> 00:12:07,729
Is he mad?
290
00:12:07,764 --> 00:12:09,431
No.
291
00:12:09,482 --> 00:12:13,652
He will cool down,
and he will call me back.
292
00:12:18,858 --> 00:12:22,778
Chloe, Chloe, Chloe.
293
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:27,048
You are a strong queen.
294
00:12:27,083 --> 00:12:31,286
And you are the perfect
weight for your height.
295
00:12:31,337 --> 00:12:32,287
[Cell phone chimes]
296
00:12:32,338 --> 00:12:36,508
Okay, there he is.
297
00:12:36,542 --> 00:12:40,145
Wow, no.
298
00:12:40,179 --> 00:12:43,965
No, thank you.
299
00:12:44,016 --> 00:12:48,220
He broke up with me.
300
00:12:48,254 --> 00:12:51,139
No, no, no, no.
301
00:12:51,190 --> 00:12:52,441
You--what--
302
00:12:52,475 --> 00:12:55,193
you're the perfect
weight for your height, or--
303
00:12:55,228 --> 00:12:58,647
It happened.
It's happening.
304
00:12:58,698 --> 00:13:00,431
Are you okay?
305
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:03,952
He said that my staying here
is completely inappropriate.
306
00:13:09,292 --> 00:13:13,795
Why did you do this to me?
307
00:13:13,830 --> 00:13:14,913
Me?
308
00:13:14,947 --> 00:13:16,781
You're the one that asked to stay here.
309
00:13:16,799 --> 00:13:17,883
You offered.
310
00:13:17,917 --> 00:13:19,117
You accepted.
311
00:13:19,135 --> 00:13:20,802
First of all, stop yelling at me.
312
00:13:20,837 --> 00:13:22,003
No, I'm not--
Oh, okay.
313
00:13:22,054 --> 00:13:23,171
I forget how to fight with you.
314
00:13:23,222 --> 00:13:24,222
Don't you usually
start crying, and--
315
00:13:24,257 --> 00:13:25,223
[sobbing]
316
00:13:25,258 --> 00:13:30,295
Here it is.
317
00:13:30,313 --> 00:13:31,980
And now you're in the bed.
318
00:13:34,466 --> 00:13:36,301
It's Lil.
319
00:13:36,319 --> 00:13:37,319
Both: Hi.
320
00:13:37,353 --> 00:13:38,636
Hey.
321
00:13:38,654 --> 00:13:40,071
I thought you were
going out with that guy again.
322
00:13:40,106 --> 00:13:41,323
Oh, yeah.
I'm on my way.
323
00:13:41,357 --> 00:13:43,108
We're meeting at our usual food truck,
324
00:13:43,142 --> 00:13:46,194
and then we'll make out in the park
325
00:13:46,245 --> 00:13:50,365
until it gets scary.
326
00:13:50,416 --> 00:13:51,833
You're eating from a food truck,
327
00:13:51,868 --> 00:13:54,536
and the park is scary?
328
00:13:54,587 --> 00:13:57,488
Well, it's not like we have
our own place to go back to,
329
00:13:57,507 --> 00:13:59,658
even for just a night,
330
00:13:59,692 --> 00:14:02,010
or even a few hours.
331
00:14:02,044 --> 00:14:04,679
But...oh, well.
332
00:14:04,714 --> 00:14:08,666
How's my hair look
before I get sticks in it?
333
00:14:08,684 --> 00:14:11,002
Hey, I think what Lily is hinting at
334
00:14:11,020 --> 00:14:13,271
is that she wants
some alone time with this dude
335
00:14:13,306 --> 00:14:15,840
in your place.
336
00:14:15,858 --> 00:14:17,559
You're asking me to leave my apartment
337
00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:19,130
so you can have sex with someone in it?
338
00:14:19,145 --> 00:14:20,178
Yeah.
339
00:14:20,196 --> 00:14:23,114
You're exactly
like my ex-husband.
340
00:14:23,149 --> 00:14:24,349
Just let her use your place.
341
00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:25,951
Why don't you let her use your place?
342
00:14:25,985 --> 00:14:30,372
I would, but I don't
know y'all like that.
343
00:14:30,406 --> 00:14:32,157
[Groans] I--
344
00:14:32,191 --> 00:14:35,577
I mean, I guess I can just
keep myself busy until--
345
00:14:35,628 --> 00:14:36,694
What time does this place close?
346
00:14:36,712 --> 00:14:40,749
Like you don't know.
347
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,751
All right, fine.
Okay, go ahead.
348
00:14:42,802 --> 00:14:46,421
Oh, thank you.
I love you.
349
00:14:46,472 --> 00:14:48,340
Hey, that is really nice of you, Rox,
350
00:14:48,374 --> 00:14:51,309
letting your friend get with
some strange dude in your bed.
351
00:14:51,344 --> 00:14:54,262
Oh, well, someone should.
352
00:14:56,999 --> 00:14:58,984
Should I get rid of these bobbleheads?
353
00:14:59,018 --> 00:15:01,319
And replace them with, like, what?
354
00:15:01,354 --> 00:15:04,055
Porcelain cats?
355
00:15:04,073 --> 00:15:06,891
Mark, do you want to know the truth?
356
00:15:06,909 --> 00:15:08,059
For the right girl,
357
00:15:08,077 --> 00:15:11,329
none of this superficial stuff
will matter.
358
00:15:11,364 --> 00:15:14,499
Look, every guy I've ever dated
359
00:15:14,533 --> 00:15:16,701
hated the fact
that I sleep with the TV on.
360
00:15:16,735 --> 00:15:17,735
I leave it on all night.
361
00:15:17,753 --> 00:15:19,070
Ugh, I hate that.
362
00:15:19,105 --> 00:15:20,956
Everybody does.
363
00:15:20,990 --> 00:15:23,908
But Alex has never mentioned it once.
364
00:15:23,926 --> 00:15:27,262
So it's more
about finding the right person?
365
00:15:27,296 --> 00:15:28,913
Awesome.
366
00:15:28,931 --> 00:15:31,850
In that case,
I'm going to keep all my jeans
367
00:15:31,884 --> 00:15:33,751
at the end of my bed.
368
00:15:36,555 --> 00:15:38,473
- Hey.
- Hey.
369
00:15:38,524 --> 00:15:39,608
Uh, listen, do you mind
370
00:15:39,642 --> 00:15:41,026
if I talk to Whitney alone for a second?
371
00:15:41,060 --> 00:15:43,228
Do you want me to go to another room
372
00:15:43,262 --> 00:15:45,263
and pretend to do something?
373
00:15:45,281 --> 00:15:48,533
Yeah, or you could just do something.
374
00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:53,271
No, I'll pretend.
375
00:15:53,289 --> 00:15:55,707
So, uh, how's it going up there?
376
00:15:55,741 --> 00:15:57,976
Uh, it's not ideal.
377
00:15:58,010 --> 00:16:00,295
Um, look, I'm sorry
about this whole thing.
378
00:16:00,329 --> 00:16:02,631
All right, I know that
it was totally inappropriate,
379
00:16:02,665 --> 00:16:04,115
and I crossed a line.
380
00:16:04,133 --> 00:16:06,885
But sometimes, it's really hard
to tell where your line is.
381
00:16:06,919 --> 00:16:08,186
So this is my fault?
382
00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:11,056
Well, no, I just--
it's confusing.
383
00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:12,974
I mean, you thought
that Hope Solo thing was funny.
384
00:16:13,009 --> 00:16:15,093
I mean, you forced me
to have a lap dance
385
00:16:15,127 --> 00:16:16,294
when we were in Michigan.
386
00:16:16,312 --> 00:16:18,847
It's just--
I have a bad back.
387
00:16:18,898 --> 00:16:21,149
I like to farm that stuff out.
388
00:16:21,183 --> 00:16:22,517
See, you're so cool about stuff
389
00:16:22,568 --> 00:16:24,402
that girls are just usually
not cool about.
390
00:16:24,437 --> 00:16:26,655
Okay, well,
then don't punish me for that.
391
00:16:26,689 --> 00:16:28,139
I do not want to be the girlfriend
392
00:16:28,157 --> 00:16:29,658
who's constantly laying down rules.
393
00:16:29,692 --> 00:16:31,359
Don't make me be that girl.
394
00:16:31,394 --> 00:16:36,498
Okay, you know what?
I get it, and I'm sorry.
395
00:16:36,532 --> 00:16:38,033
It's okay.
396
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,117
Good, okay.
397
00:16:39,151 --> 00:16:41,202
So, since it's okay and everything,
398
00:16:41,253 --> 00:16:44,489
and since I love you so much
and you're so pretty--
399
00:16:44,507 --> 00:16:45,924
I mean, you really are a stunner.
400
00:16:45,958 --> 00:16:50,045
Um, can you just be cool one more time?
401
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,680
And that time is now?
402
00:16:51,714 --> 00:16:53,831
We kind of have an unpleasant
situation going on--
403
00:16:53,849 --> 00:16:56,167
[Whistles] Up there.
404
00:16:56,185 --> 00:17:00,004
Oh, no, did you not tell Chloe
about the double flush?
405
00:17:00,022 --> 00:17:01,672
Well, uh, no, um--
406
00:17:01,691 --> 00:17:03,007
Chloe's boyfriend broke up with her,
407
00:17:03,025 --> 00:17:08,179
and now I don't know how
to get her out of our bed.
408
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:11,859
Come on, come on.
Okay, no, honey.
409
00:17:11,877 --> 00:17:13,889
No, no, no.
Back to the couch.
410
00:17:14,009 --> 00:17:15,843
You're going to be able
to lie down in about one second.
411
00:17:15,895 --> 00:17:16,895
Look at the--
it looks like--
412
00:17:16,929 --> 00:17:18,179
- Here.
- No, not there.
413
00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:20,031
It looks like a bed.
It's, like, a half a bed.
414
00:17:20,065 --> 00:17:22,466
Look, come on.
There we go, there we go, baby.
415
00:17:22,484 --> 00:17:24,118
Okay, okay, just stay here.
416
00:17:24,153 --> 00:17:25,987
I'm going to, uh, get you some water.
417
00:17:26,021 --> 00:17:28,623
- Yes.
- Water, water.
418
00:17:28,657 --> 00:17:29,640
Oh, Whit, that was amazing.
419
00:17:29,658 --> 00:17:30,858
Nobody gets Chloe out of bed.
420
00:17:30,910 --> 00:17:32,577
Oh, God.
421
00:17:32,611 --> 00:17:35,830
I am not proud of what I did in there.
422
00:17:35,864 --> 00:17:39,367
And she's going
to be very sore tomorrow.
423
00:17:39,418 --> 00:17:41,152
My life sucks.
424
00:17:41,170 --> 00:17:42,620
Look, Chloe, you're going
to be okay, all right?
425
00:17:42,654 --> 00:17:43,705
We're going to get you through this.
426
00:17:43,756 --> 00:17:45,489
I'm just going to call you a cab.
427
00:17:45,507 --> 00:17:47,008
No.
Would you just--
428
00:17:47,042 --> 00:17:48,009
All right, okay.
429
00:17:48,043 --> 00:17:49,203
But come on, she keeps crying.
430
00:17:49,211 --> 00:17:50,494
Can you just please make her stop?
431
00:17:50,512 --> 00:17:51,495
I'm trying.
432
00:17:51,513 --> 00:17:53,014
You dated her for two years.
433
00:17:53,048 --> 00:17:54,682
How did you used
to get her to stop crying?
434
00:17:54,717 --> 00:17:56,000
I think that, if I did that,
435
00:17:56,018 --> 00:17:59,637
uh, that would probably make you mad.
436
00:17:59,671 --> 00:18:01,472
Oh, but hey, you know what?
Then I'd make her a sandwich.
437
00:18:01,506 --> 00:18:04,025
Okay.
Okay.
438
00:18:04,059 --> 00:18:06,344
Okay, here, Chloe.
Here's some water.
439
00:18:06,362 --> 00:18:08,346
- Whit-Whit?
- Yeah?
440
00:18:08,364 --> 00:18:10,514
Nick was the perfect guy.
441
00:18:10,532 --> 00:18:12,700
I mean, I feel like I'll never
find someone as great as--
442
00:18:12,735 --> 00:18:14,819
No, no.
That is a no.
443
00:18:14,853 --> 00:18:17,288
Get out of there.
You cannot romanticize him.
444
00:18:17,323 --> 00:18:18,856
Okay, the key to getting over a breakup
445
00:18:18,874 --> 00:18:20,575
is focusing on his bad qualities.
446
00:18:20,626 --> 00:18:22,160
So, uh, just think of some things
447
00:18:22,194 --> 00:18:23,711
that really bothered you about him.
448
00:18:23,746 --> 00:18:25,964
Okay, um--
449
00:18:25,998 --> 00:18:27,398
well, I thought it was really gross
450
00:18:27,416 --> 00:18:29,133
that he never shaved his beard.
451
00:18:29,168 --> 00:18:32,387
And he had this whole, like,
sloppy, stoner, hipster vibe.
452
00:18:40,479 --> 00:18:41,429
Okay, okay.
453
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,931
Um, uh, what else?
Keep going.
454
00:18:43,983 --> 00:18:46,550
He has no attention span.
455
00:18:46,568 --> 00:18:49,887
We would be in the middle of
a serious, intimate situation,
456
00:18:49,905 --> 00:18:53,775
and he would just get distracted
by the weirdest things.
457
00:18:53,826 --> 00:18:55,026
Hey, dude, what's up?
458
00:18:55,060 --> 00:18:57,011
I'm eating one of your guys' pickles,
459
00:18:57,046 --> 00:19:02,100
and, uh, I got a question.
460
00:19:02,134 --> 00:19:06,571
No, it's not an emergency.
461
00:19:06,605 --> 00:19:08,723
Well, that was rude.
462
00:19:08,757 --> 00:19:10,708
Oh, my God.
463
00:19:10,742 --> 00:19:11,926
Epiphany.
464
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,845
Of course this happened with Nick.
465
00:19:13,879 --> 00:19:15,096
He's exactly like Alex,
466
00:19:15,130 --> 00:19:16,848
and Alex was exactly like Brent,
467
00:19:16,882 --> 00:19:18,582
and Brent was exactly like Peter.
468
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,251
This is good.
You're thinking clearly.
469
00:19:20,269 --> 00:19:23,604
And look, Chloe, you deserve
so much better than these guys.
470
00:19:23,639 --> 00:19:26,024
Hey.
471
00:19:26,058 --> 00:19:28,726
I didn't say I did.
472
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,429
Thank you.
473
00:19:31,447 --> 00:19:33,231
- Thank you so much, Whitney.
- You're welcome.
474
00:19:33,265 --> 00:19:34,598
- I feel so much better.
- Good.
475
00:19:34,616 --> 00:19:36,934
- Thank you.
- Good, good, girl.
476
00:19:36,952 --> 00:19:38,569
Oh, wow.
477
00:19:38,603 --> 00:19:39,937
Oh, Alex?
478
00:19:39,955 --> 00:19:42,290
I'm going to go ahead
and take my sandwich in the tub.
479
00:19:42,324 --> 00:19:46,077
Thank you.
480
00:19:46,111 --> 00:19:47,545
Whit, that was amazing.
481
00:19:47,579 --> 00:19:51,299
Okay, I guess I'll just take
this sandwich over to Chloe.
482
00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:53,301
Oh, hey, no, no, I won't,
483
00:19:53,335 --> 00:19:54,669
because that's completely inappropriate,
484
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,888
because she's naked in the tub,
485
00:19:56,922 --> 00:20:01,759
and that wouldn't be, uh,
okay with you, obviously.
486
00:20:01,793 --> 00:20:02,810
[Laughs]
487
00:20:02,845 --> 00:20:04,228
Very good.
488
00:20:04,263 --> 00:20:08,983
So I guess that means I will
take this to her in the tub.
489
00:20:09,017 --> 00:20:13,187
Her pickle and bread sandwich.
490
00:20:13,238 --> 00:20:15,139
[Knock at door]
491
00:20:15,157 --> 00:20:16,140
Hey, Mark.
492
00:20:16,158 --> 00:20:17,808
Can I come in?
493
00:20:17,826 --> 00:20:20,644
Or are you entertaining a basic bitch?
494
00:20:20,662 --> 00:20:23,481
Nope.
Come on in.
495
00:20:23,499 --> 00:20:26,984
I gave Lily the night alone
with her new guy,
496
00:20:27,002 --> 00:20:28,619
so can I hang out here for a bit?
497
00:20:28,653 --> 00:20:30,154
I mean,
I tried Whitney's first, but--
498
00:20:30,172 --> 00:20:32,123
Chloe.
499
00:20:32,157 --> 00:20:34,792
Yeah, stay as long as you want.
500
00:20:34,826 --> 00:20:36,711
Sorry about the couch.
501
00:20:36,762 --> 00:20:37,962
What do you mean?
502
00:20:37,996 --> 00:20:38,963
I like your couch.
503
00:20:38,997 --> 00:20:41,632
Oh. Okay.
504
00:20:41,666 --> 00:20:43,718
Uh, hey, you want a drink or something?
505
00:20:43,769 --> 00:20:45,019
I got vodka in the freezer.
506
00:20:45,053 --> 00:20:48,723
Oh, please.
[Chuckles]
507
00:20:48,774 --> 00:20:51,225
Oh, you can just put it
in one of those keg cups.
508
00:20:51,276 --> 00:20:54,812
Makes it a party.
509
00:20:54,846 --> 00:20:55,863
Ooh, Bobby pin.
510
00:20:55,898 --> 00:21:00,485
My bangs are driving me insane.
511
00:21:03,322 --> 00:21:05,072
You know what?
512
00:21:05,124 --> 00:21:07,825
Maybe I'll let Lily
have the place all night,
513
00:21:07,859 --> 00:21:09,160
and I'll just stay here on your couch.
514
00:21:09,194 --> 00:21:12,330
I mean, if that's okay with you.
515
00:21:12,364 --> 00:21:16,884
Yeah, that'd be--
of course, yeah.
516
00:21:16,919 --> 00:21:19,108
But don't come near me
during the hour that I sleep,
517
00:21:19,228 --> 00:21:20,441
Or I will choke you up.
518
00:21:20,561 --> 00:21:28,838
Sync & corrections by honeybunny & JustAdith88
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