1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,249 I must say, Leonard... 2 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:10,606 ...when I first heard your idea for Giant Jenga I was skeptical. 3 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,605 I can't blame you, Tiny Twister was a complete bust. 4 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,000 Oh. But I was wrong. 5 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:22,762 The looming threat of being crushed under a pile of lumber... 6 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,321 ...does add a certain spice. 7 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,610 I've never felt so alive. 8 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:36,127 Oh, hello, Alex. Let me go get you last night's recordings. 9 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:37,446 What recordings? 10 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,961 Remember when you told me I talk in my sleep? 11 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:44,284 It occurred to me that like most things I say, it's probably pure gold. 12 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,282 So I started recording it all and... 13 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,130 ...now Alex gets to comb through... 14 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,965 ...eight hours of what I like to call "Sheldon After Dark." 15 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:54,806 - Hey, Leonard. - Hey. 16 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,769 Just playing a little Giant Jenga. 17 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,571 I know, I'm the one who had to buy him the helmet. 18 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,450 So do you have plans this weekend? 19 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,321 Most of Saturday's gonna be figuring out where to put this game when we're done. 20 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,006 How about you? 21 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,847 I'm gonna go hear Kip Thorne give a lecture about subatomic space-time. 22 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,971 Oh, that's his take on John Wheeler's quantum foam. That should be great. 23 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,491 Well, you can come with me. 24 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,490 I'd love to, but I'm supposed to hang out with Penny. 25 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:24,002 - Well, bring her. - Oh, she's not really into in that kind of stuff. 26 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:29,009 Well, if you want to hear about the lecture, I can tell you all about it at work... 27 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,003 ...or, you know, over dinner sometime. 28 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,366 What? 29 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,208 Giant Jenga! I win! 30 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,680 Oh, come on, that can't be true. 31 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:10,842 I did the research. Tony the Tiger... 32 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,642 ...Dig 'Em the frog, Cap'N Crunch, Toucan Sam, Count Chocula, Trix the Rabbit... 33 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,683 ...Snap, Crackle and Pop. 34 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,011 Not one cereal mascot is a girl. 35 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,484 It's a total breakfast sausage fest. 36 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,851 Are we done with this? 37 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:32,728 Almost. Franken Berry, Boo Berry, Sugar Bear, and the Honey Nut Cheerio Bee. 38 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,048 I believe his name is Buzz. 39 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,761 Terrific. Something weird happened and I don't know what to do about it. 40 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,849 - What's going on? - Sheldon's assistant... 41 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,081 ...asked me on a date. 42 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:43,925 How could you do that to me? 43 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,560 You know I've been working it with Alex for weeks. 44 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,200 Working it? You can't even talk to her. 45 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,886 I talk with my eyes. 46 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,886 You look like my little cousin when he's dropping one in his diaper. 47 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:06,445 She knows I have a girlfriend. It's so weird. 48 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,250 Oh, my God. You're loving this! 49 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,561 To my bones. 50 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,962 I'm not gonna do anything about it. I love Penny. 51 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:18,250 It's just nice to have a young, attractive woman sniffing around the goods. 52 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:24,760 I both hate you and want to be you. This is Ryan Gosling all over again. 53 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:28,970 Aww. Gentlemen. What is on the conversational menu this morning? 54 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,009 Leonard stole my woman, and he knew... 55 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,164 ...I was only six to eight months away from making my move. 56 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,764 I didn't steal anyone. 57 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,810 Your assistant is totally hitting on this jerk and he loves it. 58 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,567 Well, that's not acceptable. I'm her boss. 59 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,326 She needs to be solely focused on my needs... 60 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:51,088 ...not distracted by your pasty, androgynous brand of sexuality. 61 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,365 I'm androgynous? 62 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:58,849 Oh, please. Look at you with your pouty bee-stung lips. 63 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,011 What do you think I should do? 64 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,050 I say you tell Alex your heart belongs to Penny. 65 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,443 I provide her a shoulder to cry on, then roughly half a year later... 66 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:08,846 ...I give it to her good. 67 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:16,482 I want to thank you all for coming on such short notice. In the past... 68 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,530 ...I've reached out to each of you individually... 69 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:25,005 ...but I believe my present situation requires the collective wisdom of the group. 70 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:30,001 Which, as you can see from your commemorative t-shirts, I've dubbed... 71 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,125 ...Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies. 72 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,047 What is happening? 73 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:43,047 I need your advice about a delicate workplace situation. 74 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,727 To protect those involved, I'll be changing their names. 75 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,211 Who's involved? 76 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,250 A short, bespectacled colleague of mine... 77 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:55,200 ...who lives in the shadow of his brilliant roommate. 78 00:04:55,440 --> 00:05:00,128 Uh... Let's call this colleague Ricardo Shilly-Shally. 79 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,851 - You're talking about Leonard. - No, no. 80 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:10,246 Shilly-Shally has red hair and briefly served in the Mexican Navy. 81 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,084 Anyway, despite the fact that he has a girlfriend... 82 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,527 ...Shilly-Shally has been the recipient... 83 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,241 ...of inappropriate workplace flirtations from a young lady. 84 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,444 - It's your assistant Alex, isn't it? - No. 85 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:30,290 No, it's Tondelaya della Ventimiglia. 86 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,641 What the hell is going on with Leonard and Alex? 87 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,247 I'm sorry, who's talking about Leonard and Alex? 88 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,445 Fine. Ricardo and Tondelaya. 89 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,444 It's not really about Ricardo and Tondelaya. 90 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,602 It is really about her boss... 91 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:50,448 ...who doesn't quite know how to handle this situation and could use your advice... 92 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:54,446 ...which is surprising, because Dr. Einstein Von Brainstorm... 93 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,327 ...he's usually pretty smart about these things. 94 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,566 Ugh. I'm gonna kill her! 95 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,849 You've got nothing to worry about. Leonard would never cheat on you. 96 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:08,164 She's right. But say the word, I got a lab full of cocaine-addicted monkeys... 97 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:09,810 ...with nothing to lose. 98 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,290 One of them could end up in the back seat of her car. 99 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,329 Or her shower. 100 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,163 Ladies, ladies, please. We're not here to talk about Penny. 101 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:25,120 We're here to talk about me. I mean Einstein Von Brainstorm! Darn it. 102 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,641 All right, I guess the cat's out of the bag. 103 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,210 Let me explain what's going on. Ricardo is really Leon... 104 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,522 We know what's going on, Sheldon! 105 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,330 But what should I do? 106 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,371 Alex is your employee. If she's doing something that's... 107 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,171 ...making Leonard uncomfortable, you should talk to her. 108 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,687 Oh, he's not uncomfortable at all. He's loving it. 109 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,168 He's strutting around like he's 5-foot-6. 110 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,491 What? He's loving it? 111 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,162 Sheldon, you need to talk to Alex right away. 112 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,322 Talk to her. That's all you've got? 113 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,324 With a cool name like Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies... 114 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,329 ...I really expected more. 115 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,842 Give me back the t-shirts. 116 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:18,882 Alex, check my schedule. What does my afternoon look like? 117 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:23,051 I think it's pretty wide open. Oh, wait. Here's something at 4:00. 118 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,681 "Give Alex a talking to"? 119 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,568 Well, that snuck up on us, didn't it? 120 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:34,366 - Is there a problem? - Let's not call it a problem... 121 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,363 ...let's call it an opportunity. 122 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,204 To solve a serious problem. 123 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,286 What did I do? 124 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,723 You don't know? Oh, you poor dear. 125 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,884 Your ovaries are squirting so much goofy juice into your brain... 126 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,088 ...you don't know which way is up. 127 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:55,282 You made an inappropriate sexual advance towards Dr. Hofstadter. 128 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:59,126 What? I didn't make a sexual advance on anybody. 129 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,448 Now, there's no need to get defensive. 130 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,841 I'm not unsympathetic to your plight. 131 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:07,971 My father used to say that a woman is like... 132 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:12,091 ...an egg salad sandwich on a warm Texas day. 133 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,764 What? 134 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:19,766 Full of eggs and only appealing for a short time. 135 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,088 This conversation is making me uncomfortable. 136 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,129 Yeah, you and me both, sister. 137 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:32,606 Please understand, I don't hold you responsible for your behavior. 138 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:37,766 From an evolutionary standpoint, you're a slave to your desire to reproduce. 139 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,490 But during the work day... 140 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,770 ...when you feel possessed by amorous intent, may I suggest... 141 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,407 ...you suppress it by leafing through this illustrated book... 142 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,483 ...of sexually transmitted diseases. 143 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,169 Oh, yes. Check out this oozy doozy. 144 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:58,487 I have to go. 145 00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:02,162 So does this fellow, but he can't without it burning like hot soup. 146 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,962 Hey, pretty lady. 147 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,689 You seem extra happy. 148 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,406 - I guess I am. - Any particular reason why? 149 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,489 No, just having a good day. 150 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,166 This morning Sheldon fell asleep on the way to work... 151 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,641 ...so I got to listen to the radio. That was crazy. 152 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,802 Mm-hm. Anything else? 153 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:30,005 Mm... I found this quiz online called "Which Star Trek Character Are You?" 154 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,527 It only took me four tries to get Captain Kirk. Heh. 155 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,526 - That's great. - Oh. 156 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,284 It. Was. 157 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,686 Hmm. I'm glad you're having such a great day. 158 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:45,641 And the one thing that could make it better is an evening with my special girl. 159 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:46,847 Oh, and who's that? 160 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:48,527 What do you mean? 161 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,161 I just didn't know if you meant me or Alex. 162 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,211 Why would I mean Alex? 163 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,046 Because I know she hit on you and I know you liked it! 164 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,480 What? 165 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:04,051 Don't play dumb with me, Ricardo Shilly-Shally! 166 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,051 I'm missing something. 167 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,047 Did you say something to Penny about Alex? 168 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:22,242 Yes, and a fat lot of good it did me. All she did was get mad at you. 169 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,569 Why would you do that? 170 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,404 I needed advice about a woman. 171 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:31,161 I would have asked you, but if the last few years have proven anything... 172 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,891 ...it's that you can't tell a uterus from a unicycle. 173 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,291 At least I know not to blab to a girl about somebody flirting with her boyfriend. 174 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,722 Good to know. A few more helpful hints like that... 175 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,406 ...you may find yourself on the Council of Ladies. 176 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,562 Hello? 177 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,570 I see. What time? 178 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,725 Very well, then. 179 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:58,763 Huh. That was the Human Resources Department at the university. 180 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,970 Apparently my assistant, Alex, has filed a complaint accusing me of... 181 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,600 ...inappropriate behavior in the workplace. 182 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,240 Oh, my God. What did you do? 183 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,923 Oh. Let me think... 184 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,605 Nothing, I'm a delight. 185 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,524 Human Resources Department. 186 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,123 Human Resources Department. 187 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,049 Human Resources Department. 188 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,006 Come in? 189 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,804 - Hello. - Ah. Dr. Cooper, have a seat. 190 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,126 Thank you. 191 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,442 I called you in today because your assistant... 192 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,285 ...Alex Jensen has lodged a complaint against you. 193 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:45,445 So I've been told. But I can't understand what she has to complain about. 194 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,769 She has a front row seat as I make scientific history... 195 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:52,811 ...there's string cheese in my mini-fridge and that's for anyone... 196 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:58,650 ...and just yesterday I led her away from a life of sexual promiscuity... 197 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,361 ...by making her look at pictures of disease-ridden genitalia. 198 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:12,121 Cancel my next appointment. This is gonna take a while. 199 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,926 Dr. Cooper, you said things to your employee... 200 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,162 ...that you just cannot say in the workplace. 201 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:19,841 Like what? 202 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,123 Well, according to Ms. Jensen you said... 203 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:25,682 ...that she was a "slave to her biological urges"... 204 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,287 ...and called her an "egg salad sandwich." 205 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,083 I don't even know what that means... 206 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,050 ...but I'm gonna go ahead and tell you you can't say it. 207 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:41,364 Oh, I see the confusion here. 208 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,729 Alex thought I was singling her out. No. 209 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:49,647 I meant that all women are slaves to their biological urges. 210 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,205 Even you. 211 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,044 You're a slave. 212 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,009 I'm a what? 213 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:05,886 I'm just saying. At a certain point in a woman's menstrual cycle... 214 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,804 Uh-uh. Oh. 215 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,889 You can't talk about that either. 216 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,163 Your language is entirely inappropriate, and I'm going to advise... 217 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,129 ...that you shut your mouth right now. 218 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,170 I don't see why I'm the one being persecuted here. 219 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,688 Dr. Hofstadter was bragging about his sexual desirability... 220 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,444 ...to anyone who would listen. 221 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:28,047 Howard Wolowitz spent two years using university resources... 222 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,402 ...building a six-breasted sex robot. 223 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:35,125 And at the office Christmas party, I heard Rajesh Koothrappali... 224 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,124 ...refer to you several times as "Brown Sugar." 225 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:46,081 Hofstadter, Wolowitz and that last one was Rajesh Koothrappali? 226 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:51,531 Yes. But in his defense, that wasn't racist. He's also brown. 227 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:02,924 I'm sorry Alex hit on me 228 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:07,768 Hit on me, hit on me 229 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:13,120 Sorry Alex hit on me I had no idea I'm cute 230 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:18,771 Aw. Damn it, you are. 231 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,289 Please forgive me, I should have told you about Alex. 232 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,171 I don't care about Alex. Fine, I care. 233 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,084 Okay, I hate the bitch. 234 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,447 But what really hurt is that you liked it so much. 235 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:32,801 Do I need to be worried? 236 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,809 Of course not. No. Why? 237 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,850 Because she's pretty and smart and when you talk about work... 238 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,651 ...she doesn't have to look up words in the dictionary... 239 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,609 ...to understand what you said. 240 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,922 - You do that? - No. 241 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:50,601 Hang on. Are you feeling insecure? Because that's my thing. 242 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,446 And if you take it away, I don't know what I'm bringing to this relationship. 243 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,849 Yes, Leonard, I am insecure. Happy? 244 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,202 No, I'm not happy. 245 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,126 Why are you smiling? 246 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,841 I'm sorry, it's just I never think of you having feelings like that. 247 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,365 - Well, I do. - Why? 248 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,171 Nothing is ever going to happen between me and Alex. 249 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:16,805 Good. 250 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,923 Come here. 251 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,166 - Can I tell you a secret? - What's that? 252 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:28,604 With all these women chasing me, I kind of do feel like Captain Kirk. 253 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,001 - Can I tell you a secret? - Sure. 254 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,761 Keep talking about Captain Kirk and we're all gonna stop. 255 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,644 Message. Received. 256 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,329 Excuse me. 257 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,290 Hello. 258 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,522 This is Dr. Hofstadter. 259 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,889 Okay. 260 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,762 All right, thank you. 261 00:15:56,040 --> 00:16:00,090 That's weird. I'm getting called into Human Resources. 262 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,686 What did you do? 263 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,809 I don't know. 264 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:09,845 Huh. I just got called into Human Resources. 265 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,167 Why? 266 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,085 I don't know. Heh. 267 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:18,407 Huh. That is so strange. Human Resources wants to talk to me tomorrow. 268 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,087 Could you stop licking your ass for two minutes? I have a problem here. 269 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,370 Do you really think you should be drinking right now? 270 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:39,246 How else am I supposed to talk to the human resources lady? 271 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,926 I don't know, seek professional help? 272 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:46,324 I did. The guy at the liquor store said this stuff tastes great in coffee. 273 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,330 You got called in too? What is going on? 274 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,369 Sheldon threw us all under the bus. 275 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:56,046 I feel like I've been called to the principal's office. 276 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,811 Although I wouldn't mind if Brown Sugar suspended me... 277 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,170 ...from a sex swing. Heh. 278 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,562 This may have been a mistake. 279 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,409 Relax, everything's gonna be fine. 280 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,643 Before I met Bernadette, I was in here every other day. 281 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:20,807 Little tip, turn off your "I Like Big Butts" ringtone before you go in. 282 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,767 - This is all your fault. - How is this my fault? 283 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,849 If you weren't screwing around with Sheldon's assistant... 284 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,810 - ...this wouldn't have happened. - I wasn't screwing around. 285 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,009 Oh, of course not, she was just sniffing around your goods... 286 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,162 ...because she was hunting for truffles. 287 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,011 Ah. Mr. Wolowitz, it's been a while. 288 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,522 Hey, Janine. Heh. How're Tom and the kids? 289 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,446 Fine. 290 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,011 You must be Dr. Hofstadter? 291 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,084 Yes, but I think this is all a big misunderstanding. 292 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,487 Yeah, me too. I didn't do anything. 293 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,290 Is that alcohol on your breath? 294 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,681 Howard built a sex robot. 295 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,004 That is not true. All I did was build a robot. 296 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,650 Did it have six breasts? 297 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:08,844 I'm sorry, I'm a feminist. Heh. I don't notice things like... 298 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,367 ...how many breasts a robot has. 299 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,486 Well, hello. 300 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:14,766 What are you doing here? 301 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,402 - Actually, I came to speak to Mrs. Davis. - And I'm a little busy right now. 302 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:22,326 But I came to file a complaint. Somebody has made me feel uncomfortable... 303 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:26,690 ...in the workplace by using language of an inappropriate and sexual nature. 304 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,208 - And who is that? - You, you dirty birdy. 305 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,041 I thought about the things you said yesterday... 306 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,009 ...and I realized I'm deeply offended. 307 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,891 Now, be a dear and get me one of those complaint forms. 308 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:42,967 That's it. All of you, in my office now. 309 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,489 Thanks to you, I know better than to ask if you're menstruating. 310 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,049 Based on your behavior, I don't have to. 311 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:04,403 It has been pointed out to me that some of the things I said to you... 312 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,291 ...could be construed as offensive. 313 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:12,520 And I would like to offer you my sincerest apology. 314 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,564 Thank you, Dr. Cooper. 315 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:18,441 Additionally, you should know that the university has mandated... 316 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:23,083 ...that I take an online sexual harassment seminar so that this sort of thing... 317 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,924 ...doesn't happen in the future. 318 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,091 - Okay. - Now, unfortunately... 319 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:33,610 ...my time is much too valuable to waste on nonsense like this... 320 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:37,401 ...so I'm going to need you to take it for me. 321 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:44,291 Oh, and you'd better ace it, they're pretty mad. 322 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:54,286 - I was thinking about that stuff with Alex... - Would you stop worrying about that? 323 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,767 I can't help it. But I figured I could sit around... 324 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,480 ...and feel insecure, or I could do something about it. 325 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:03,886 So, I got a course catalog at school and looked at some of the science classes. 326 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,690 - That's great. - No, it isn't... 327 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,322 ...they are extremely boring, how do you not kill yourself, like, every day? 328 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:15,330 Anyway, I decided I don't need to be a scientist, I could just look like one. 329 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,010 So I bought these. 330 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,764 Glasses? I really don't think that's gonna change... 331 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,049 Oh, my God, you look so smart and hot! 332 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,681 I know, right? Watch this. 333 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,969 Molecules. 334 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,048 - Okay, come with me. - Where are we going? 335 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:42,205 To my bedroom so I can take everything off but those glasses. 336 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:45,170 And maybe the boots.