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00:00:02,220 --> 00:00:06,580
Marco Polo, one of the world's
greatest explorers.
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00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:11,100
In the 13th century, he embarked on
an epic journey from Venice to China
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00:00:11,180 --> 00:00:13,360
that took over three years to
complete.
4
00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:17,620
Now, Ricky Gervais is
sending his mate Karl Pilkington to
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00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:22,380
follow in his footsteps, but this
time he's got a little company.
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Will you stop just puffing
and panting like that?
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Jesus Christ.
It's like a Primark sale.
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He said if he did it again he'd want
some company this time.
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He meant me,
but I've sent someone in my place.
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Grab hold of that.
I can't see it.
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They're like chalk and cheese.
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Karl whinges all the time.
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He's doing my head in.
He's treating it like a holiday.
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He says he doesn't want adventure.
He doesn't want stress.
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I'm just not a good swimmer.
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Once you're in it'll be fine.
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Warwick never says no -
he'll take on a challenge.
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Tease the camera. Tease the camera.
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Now, do a little bit of from Oliver.
Good.
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(ALL SHOUT)
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It's not the night for this, is it?
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Warwick, you'll have to do it.
I'm not doing it.
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They'll have the
adventure of their lifetime,
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whether they like it or not.
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Wow.
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00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:19,980
Previously on An Idiot Abroad...
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Dick Whittington, he had a cat with
him.
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You went, "Why take a cat? Take a
little mate."
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I just think you're going to
be a hindrance.
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It was your idea to come to
the party. You go in there.
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This is good. (CHOKES)
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Brilliant, Warwick.
"Bring them over", he said.
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"Good to have some company."
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One-two. One-two.
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There's no way that I'm having it
that Warwick's a better
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dancer than me.
No way.
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It seems that what Warwick wants,
Warwick gets.
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Argh!
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Oh!
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I never had a kite.
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Let me down.
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What you're going to see now, you'll
never get the chance to see again.
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The Spider Sisters.
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I'm just going to wait outside, let
Karl go and ask his questions.
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Do you have the main
and you have the pudding?
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I don't know why you're
so fascinated.
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Because it's something different.
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I've done a lot for him, now.
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Let me have a bit of me time.
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I've come to see them
because they're different.
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That's all it is. It's not to poke
fun, it's because they're different.
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People out there are coming in here
to see new things.
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Look at the crowd Warwick got.
Hello.
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It would be good if Warwick was
willing to sit on there
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and raise some more money.
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I'll sit there. White person, bald -
they've never seen that before.
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They've never seen a little
man before.
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Would it make...?
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Would it make any difference
for them, money wise, if me
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and Warwick was to
sit on the stage as well?
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She says she's good. She doesn't
mind.
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OK. Let's have a word with Warwick.
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Oh, great. It's embarrassing.
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I'm not just going to go and stand
there and have people look.
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Do you know what I mean?
What's the...what's the point?
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Karl, what are you doing?
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Just when I think you've said
the weirdest,
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stupidest thing ever, you top it.
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I think it's weird that we're
putting ourselves on this side -
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that's what's making this
horrible.
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If we just all sat there together
it's not a problem.
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You sit there, I'll sit behind you,
people will come in,
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I'll give you a centre parting.
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You do what you want to do,
what you need to get it out
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your system. You do that and I'll go
outside and wait.
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I don't understand his priorities.
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He's happy to dress up as
leprechauns and bears and stuff,
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but he won't sit on a stage, which
he likes,
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and he won't let me comb
his hair.
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Everything we've been through
together.
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They said they'll come to
see Warwick.
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Why? Why Warwick, not me?
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I can't see any merit in me
doing it.
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If I had something to do, something
to give here then so be it.
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It's a performance, but it isn't.
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00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:19,440
Me just sitting there...
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It's not... I'm not bringing
anything to the table, here, am I?
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Me?
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But round head.
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Come on!
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What do you look like, Karl?
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I need you - you're my partner.
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But...what are we doing, then?
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I will comb your hair.
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I'll massage you.
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00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:57,340
Are you all right?
Are you all right?
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Ben Fogle wouldn't have left
James Cracknell.
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00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,860
Cannon and Ball -
always did stuff together.
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00:05:02,940 --> 00:05:05,660
The Chuckle Brothers - it wouldn't
have worked with one Chuckle.
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You're standing there,
getting an eyeful for free.
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00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:10,800
Warwick,
just get on the fucking stage.
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Shout his name. Warwick! Warwick!
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Warwick! Warwick!
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This is ridiculous.
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Yes. You bastard.
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Hey!
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(CROWD APPLAUSE)
Thank you.
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I'm going to bloody kill you.
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Warwick, are you OK?
Not really?
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I think I'm having some
sort of weird dream at the minute.
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(CROWD APPLAUSE)
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Thank you.
Thank you.
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All right. Yeah, all right.
That's it.
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That's it. Give it a good squeeze.
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Argh!
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Very nice.
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Thank you, ladies, very much.
Thank you very much.
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Easy. Easy.
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It's one bit of fun.
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That's all it was.
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You are never going to see
the Spider Sisters,
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or anything like it again.
OK.
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You could see this again -
quite easily.
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I just don't want to talk about that
whole scenario again.
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It's like Salford Docks, this.
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How far we going on this boat?
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I'm not in the mood for it. Why?
I've got the shits.
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It's a bit funny how I've got
the shits and you haven't.
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Cos I'm careful. You haven't been
getting into it, have you?
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You've been having deep pan
pizzas every day.
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I wanted you to get ill.
Why does that bother you so much?
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Cos then
you can be part of the team.
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It's like the red arse gang.
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(LAUGHS) At least then, I don't
know, you wouldn't annoy me as much.
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It's annoying me how you're not ill
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and you're not experiencing what
everyone else is.
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So if I'm chucking
up in the toilets with the shits,
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you'd come in and pat me on the back
and say, "Great, Warwick."
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Yeah.
I'd have some connection with you.
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So you're connection with me
would be through my arse, then?
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Come on, better go
and catch the boat, Karl.
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A nice smell of piss in the air.
Thank you very much.
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Mind your step here, Karl.
It's not even hooked on.
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Have you been on a cruise before?
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No. And I won't be again
if they're all like this.
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It's not good
when the carpet's damp, is it?
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Fucking hell.
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The Titanic was brought up and it
looked better than this.
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Thank you very much.
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That's my room.
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He's just helping me
with my luggage.
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Can't miss the toilet.
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To be honest, that is useful for me,
the way I am at the moment.
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The toilet's got a shower door on
it.
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That's well handy, the way it's
spurting out of my arse.
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(LAUGHS) I'm not joking.
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And I know what's happening here,
cos you've got this room,
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so what's mine like?
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(SIGHS)
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Shower,
Shh-shh-shh-shh,
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(MAKES FARTING NOISE) -
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all at the same time.
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That's a toilet.
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Loo.
Don't use that one.
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I've got bad guts
and I'm not doing this.
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I'm sick of it, just sick of it.
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Fuck sake.
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Oh, God. Ah!
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Ah!
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Ah!
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I just want to see Warwick.
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Hello.
I don't know what's going on.
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I don't know why you're getting
special treatment.
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I haven't even got my own toilet.
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Someone's already been on my toilet.
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There's already something there
and we haven't even left dock yet.
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What have you got, then?
I haven't got anything,
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just a bed with about four or
five other strangers.
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You're sharing? Yes.
Oh.
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It's just annoying me
181
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:49,560
the way that we're not having the
same experiences.
182
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Let's go down the little corridor
and share the same experience.
183
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Is this the same way you made me
184
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:58,560
share the same experience with
the Spider Sisters? Yes.
185
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Then maybe this is...sort of
payback.
186
00:10:02,780 --> 00:10:04,900
All right...all right.
Forget it, then.
187
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,140
Forget it.
You can have your room, then.
188
00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:11,040
Don't go like that. Don't get all
arsey. Stick it up your arse.
189
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,880
I shouldn't have mentioned that.
I didn't want to upset him.
190
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,500
We're both in this together,
191
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:21,660
we should stick together,
but that's not what he did that day.
192
00:10:21,860 --> 00:10:24,500
I suppose two wrong don't make
a right, does it?
193
00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:25,660
I should... (SIGHS)
194
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,780
(METAL DRUMS BANGING)
195
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,160
(PHONE RINGS)
196
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,520
I've had the shits all day. The
cabin that you've sorted out for me,
197
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,560
I'm in there with the fucking
Grumbleweeds.
198
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,360
There's one toilet
between about five of us. (LAUGHS)
199
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,000
Listen to this.
200
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,860
That's what I'm sharing with.
(LAUGHS)
201
00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:13,020
It's not...
(LAUGHS) Oh, no. It is not on.
202
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:37,800
No. I'm not doing that with him
in there. I won't sleep... (LAUGHS)
203
00:11:40,060 --> 00:11:42,600
Thing of nightmares, that.
Oh!
204
00:11:57,340 --> 00:12:01,500
Did you get any sleep, Karl?
Yeah. A few minutes, yeah.
205
00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:04,440
Have you seen Warwick? Did he sleep?
206
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:13,760
Marco Polo must have been
pissed off by this point.
207
00:12:13,740 --> 00:12:15,660
It's horrible.
208
00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:19,740
It's horrible. It's a place to
visit in a submarine, this.
209
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,180
This river.
210
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,580
Look at it. It's polluted to hell
and back, isn't it?
211
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,500
I know people moan at home saying,
212
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:28,060
"Oh. All our industry is gone
and factories are gone
213
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:31,120
"and people aren't making
things at home."
214
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:34,140
But they are here. Everything you
pick up is made in China, isn't it?
215
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,960
Look what it does to the place.
216
00:12:36,060 --> 00:12:38,000
Factories putting all this
shit in the air.
217
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:39,500
Let them keep it, honestly.
218
00:12:39,580 --> 00:12:41,340
We don't want this at home.
219
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:42,960
It's depressing enough without
having skies like this.
220
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,780
You hear it all the time,
"We don't do anything anymore.
221
00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:49,300
"We don't make anything."
222
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:53,200
It's all sort of coffee shops
and Paninis and charity shops,
223
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,620
but at least we have blue skies.
224
00:12:54,820 --> 00:12:57,480
If you're going to be pissed off at
home, be pissed off with a blue sky.
225
00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:59,080
Imagine being pissed off here.
226
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:06,939
Hello?
227
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:12,219
We...we knocked that on the head.
228
00:13:13,499 --> 00:13:15,239
Yeah.
Cos it was horrible.
229
00:13:15,259 --> 00:13:19,259
Honestly, it was misty...and the
toilets were shocking -
230
00:13:19,259 --> 00:13:20,799
there was turds everywhere.
231
00:13:20,779 --> 00:13:22,119
Gillian McKeith,
232
00:13:22,139 --> 00:13:24,919
that's the only person who would've
liked that little boat trip.
233
00:13:25,019 --> 00:13:26,039
(LAUGHS)
234
00:13:38,459 --> 00:13:40,319
Cool. A real one?
235
00:13:43,899 --> 00:13:46,459
Wow. That's amazing.
Thank you very much.
236
00:13:48,799 --> 00:13:51,099
Thoughts, Karl...
Are they dangerous at all?
237
00:14:02,139 --> 00:14:03,259
All right, then.
238
00:14:07,199 --> 00:14:08,859
I'm excited about this.
239
00:14:09,059 --> 00:14:11,779
What was the last thing that you saw
a panda actually doing that you
240
00:14:11,659 --> 00:14:13,699
went, "That's useful."
241
00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:15,899
Well, I do know this.
242
00:14:15,899 --> 00:14:21,019
Their urine is collected by Szechuan
tribal people and, if somebody
243
00:14:21,079 --> 00:14:24,319
swallowed a needle, they'd drink it
and it would dissolve the needle.
244
00:14:25,499 --> 00:14:28,419
What...what we're doing there
is saving idiots.
245
00:14:28,339 --> 00:14:31,899
If they're eating needles, that's
nature's way of wiping them out.
246
00:14:31,959 --> 00:14:34,399
We're saving everyone now -
that's the problem.
247
00:14:34,459 --> 00:14:36,699
Yeah. I was just giving you
a use for a panda.
248
00:14:36,819 --> 00:14:39,659
Yeah, but it's not good enough.
Not good enough.
249
00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:43,859
Hello.
250
00:14:43,879 --> 00:14:45,659
Oh, hello. Professor Jao.
251
00:14:45,659 --> 00:14:48,579
Yes. Warwick. Hello.
Nice to meet you.
252
00:14:48,519 --> 00:14:51,359
I'm Karl. How you doing?
You alright?
253
00:14:57,819 --> 00:15:00,899
What is it? It's the breeding.
They teach breeding behaviour.
254
00:15:01,979 --> 00:15:03,959
I'm not wanking off a panda.
255
00:15:06,779 --> 00:15:09,519
(PANDA GROANS)
256
00:15:15,899 --> 00:15:17,459
Look at this.
257
00:15:33,619 --> 00:15:38,319
So it's like saying the right thing
to the lady first at dinner.
258
00:15:38,239 --> 00:15:41,659
If they don't make the noise,
she's... Not interested.
259
00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:42,739
No, thank you.
260
00:15:42,759 --> 00:15:45,919
You have different films for it
to hear and watch
261
00:15:45,899 --> 00:15:47,099
or is it the same...?
262
00:15:50,339 --> 00:15:53,379
I don't know about that.
I don't think that works, does it?
263
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:56,799
And it's the same one. It's the same
film over and over again,
264
00:15:56,779 --> 00:15:59,199
so you're going to get
bored of that anyway.
265
00:15:59,239 --> 00:16:02,139
I've seen rude films. You can't
watch them more than three times.
266
00:16:02,339 --> 00:16:03,919
You go, "What else have you got?"
267
00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:06,319
How many times do you watch them,
Warwick?
268
00:16:06,239 --> 00:16:07,919
What, the panda films?
269
00:16:07,999 --> 00:16:10,219
I've never watched any
other sort of...
270
00:16:10,299 --> 00:16:11,819
You've never watched any rude films?
271
00:16:11,899 --> 00:16:15,139
No... I haven't ever felt I need to,
to be honest.
272
00:16:14,999 --> 00:16:16,739
It's not about need, is it?
273
00:16:16,679 --> 00:16:19,139
It's... It's like how I wanted to
see the Spider women.
274
00:16:18,999 --> 00:16:21,759
What's all that about?
People watch these? What's going on?
275
00:16:21,719 --> 00:16:25,359
You did it for research purposes.
Yeah. Just have a look what goes on.
276
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:26,619
Of course. Get some ideas.
277
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,939
Are you saying we've got
to dress up. Yeah.
278
00:16:34,939 --> 00:16:38,719
Surely that's more dangerous,
isn't it? If we look like a panda.
279
00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:50,419
I've been a few bears in my time,
but never a panda.
280
00:16:50,439 --> 00:16:53,179
Does this really convince them?
Does it heck.
281
00:16:53,259 --> 00:16:56,539
It's bollocks, all this.
It's just an excuse to dress us up.
282
00:16:56,659 --> 00:16:59,199
Got to try and get in the mind
of the character, now.
283
00:16:59,259 --> 00:17:02,479
Don't start, Warwick. Don't start.
Just put your costume on.
284
00:17:02,419 --> 00:17:04,139
You don't just wear it like that.
285
00:17:04,219 --> 00:17:06,299
I'm going to put the hood on
when I get in there.
286
00:17:06,299 --> 00:17:08,879
Otherwise it's going to look
ridiculous.
287
00:17:10,499 --> 00:17:13,019
I've seen pandas on the telly with
people near them.
288
00:17:13,219 --> 00:17:15,779
I've never seen Attenborough
dressed up like this.
289
00:17:15,699 --> 00:17:18,219
But I'm just thinking,
"If something goes tits up,
290
00:17:18,299 --> 00:17:22,779
"I can't see where I'm going,
I'm hot, I'm going to trip over."
291
00:17:22,779 --> 00:17:25,919
It's just not safe. If it kicks off
and I have to thump it in the head
292
00:17:25,899 --> 00:17:29,839
and I ended up injuring it,
again I look like the bad man.
293
00:17:29,759 --> 00:17:32,219
"Karl thumps endangered
species in the head."
294
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:33,979
At the end of the day,
if it comes at me,
295
00:17:34,079 --> 00:17:37,019
I will go at it and I'm not being
responsible for what happens.
296
00:17:37,019 --> 00:17:39,099
If I have to kick
it between the bollocks,
297
00:17:39,279 --> 00:17:41,339
that's what's going to happen.
298
00:17:41,339 --> 00:17:44,099
I will kick a panda in the bollocks
if I have to.
299
00:17:47,019 --> 00:17:49,499
Do we need to make any sound?
What sound does a panda make?
300
00:17:49,499 --> 00:17:51,859
I'm probably going to be
a little baby one.
301
00:17:55,099 --> 00:17:55,899
Chirps? How does that go?
302
00:17:56,079 --> 00:17:58,619
Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh!
303
00:17:58,959 --> 00:18:01,019
What about mummy panda?
What noise...?
304
00:18:04,059 --> 00:18:06,299
Urgh!
Urgh! Yeah.
305
00:18:06,299 --> 00:18:11,419
Urgh! Yeah. Let's just go in.
Let's go and have a look. Urgh!
306
00:18:11,619 --> 00:18:13,459
You get in all the gear,
you've got to have the sounds
307
00:18:13,419 --> 00:18:15,039
and the behaviour.
308
00:18:15,019 --> 00:18:18,299
We don't know... A panda never
does that, for example.
309
00:18:18,299 --> 00:18:21,359
Karl, you can't stand on your two
legs - they never do that.
310
00:18:22,619 --> 00:18:24,559
Ooh! Urgh!
311
00:18:24,539 --> 00:18:26,939
Ooh! Urgh!
312
00:18:39,479 --> 00:18:43,739
My mouth. Where you going to?
I'm trying to suckle.
313
00:18:43,739 --> 00:18:46,779
I'm letting it get here.
Where's your head?
314
00:18:46,979 --> 00:18:50,459
I can't see.
Grab hold of that, there.
315
00:18:50,459 --> 00:18:52,859
No wonder they're dying out
if they're like you.
316
00:18:52,859 --> 00:18:55,819
Urgh!
317
00:18:55,899 --> 00:19:00,219
Let's face it, he's just looking
down, thinking, "What's going on?"
318
00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:03,599
It looks like we've been doing
the London Marathon and got lost.
319
00:19:03,539 --> 00:19:04,859
Is this...?
320
00:19:04,859 --> 00:19:08,099
Honest to God, on your mum's life,
is this going to make it
321
00:19:08,039 --> 00:19:11,159
come towards us?
Just stick with it, Karl. Honestly.
322
00:19:11,259 --> 00:19:12,479
Just act real.
323
00:19:13,939 --> 00:19:16,099
Act naturally...like a panda.
324
00:19:15,959 --> 00:19:17,179
Jesus Christ.
325
00:19:20,279 --> 00:19:22,139
Karl, he's coming down.
326
00:19:22,239 --> 00:19:24,299
We go out. Karl,
we've got to go out.
327
00:19:24,379 --> 00:19:25,979
Why? It's coming down.
328
00:19:26,079 --> 00:19:28,019
What have we come here for?
329
00:19:31,279 --> 00:19:33,279
It's a lot of effort that, wasn't
it?
330
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:34,779
Just enticed him down.
331
00:19:34,879 --> 00:19:37,219
I thought we were going to
hug it or something.
332
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,899
It's a long way to come
just to see that.
333
00:19:48,059 --> 00:19:49,459
Hello.
334
00:19:51,439 --> 00:19:55,139
Just having a nice day. No stress.
Having a wander about.
335
00:19:55,039 --> 00:19:58,459
It's Sunday here, so it's just good
to see what normal people do.
336
00:20:00,059 --> 00:20:01,819
First restful day we've had.
337
00:20:01,999 --> 00:20:04,059
Go to the park much in London?
338
00:20:04,239 --> 00:20:05,979
Yeah, all the time.
339
00:20:06,159 --> 00:20:08,379
I love a good walk,
a bit of people watching.
340
00:20:09,979 --> 00:20:11,239
What's this?
341
00:20:13,719 --> 00:20:16,039
What are they copying?
Is it news headlines or something?
342
00:20:16,059 --> 00:20:19,959
It is, the news.
It's like a really basic Ceefax.
343
00:20:20,059 --> 00:20:23,339
The word on the street -
that's where the phrase comes from.
344
00:20:23,419 --> 00:20:26,079
I'm just going to do my signature,
I think.
345
00:20:26,039 --> 00:20:26,939
Do a little head.
346
00:20:29,339 --> 00:20:31,739
Good, innit?
That is good.
347
00:20:36,459 --> 00:20:39,199
You see, the thing is, it's hard to
be an explorer now, isn't it?
348
00:20:39,179 --> 00:20:41,179
Everything has been found.
349
00:20:41,379 --> 00:20:44,479
It's a piece of piss back then with
old Marco going where he wants
350
00:20:44,439 --> 00:20:46,259
and saying he's found new land.
351
00:20:47,419 --> 00:20:50,439
Look at that baby. Good God.
352
00:20:50,459 --> 00:20:52,779
Did you see the fat baby?
353
00:20:52,859 --> 00:20:55,779
Karl, it's not overweight,
it's just a bit chubby.
354
00:20:55,699 --> 00:20:57,079
It's just a little puppy fat.
355
00:20:57,179 --> 00:21:00,539
You don't see many fat Chinese,
do you? Cos of the...
356
00:21:00,639 --> 00:21:02,779
Cos of the food's not very nice.
357
00:21:04,099 --> 00:21:06,299
Are you going to have something
to eat or pizza?
358
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:07,679
I quite fancy a pizza.
359
00:21:07,639 --> 00:21:11,099
You've got to have something a bit
weird, and I'll have it with you.
360
00:21:13,499 --> 00:21:15,419
You've got cold pork lung.
361
00:21:15,419 --> 00:21:18,299
Pig ear. I've had pig ear,
that's not bad.
362
00:21:18,499 --> 00:21:20,219
Karl, I've got a table.
363
00:21:21,819 --> 00:21:24,219
This isn't that bad, to be fair.
364
00:21:24,219 --> 00:21:26,459
It's only the rabbit head that
looks a bit shit.
365
00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:28,999
You get rid of the teeth,
he'd think that's a pork chop.
366
00:21:29,019 --> 00:21:31,139
Warwick, this isn't that bad.
367
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:33,599
No. They haven't got anything weird.
368
00:21:33,579 --> 00:21:35,639
I thought they'd have well
weirder stuff.
369
00:21:37,079 --> 00:21:39,239
I mean, that doesn't look normal.
370
00:21:39,259 --> 00:21:41,159
It smells of liquorice, that one.
371
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:45,779
Here you are. Eat one of them.
Just shove it in, honestly.
372
00:21:45,739 --> 00:21:48,059
It's not that bad.
Can I nibble the edge of it?
373
00:21:48,259 --> 00:21:49,339
It's worse, just shove it in.
374
00:21:50,779 --> 00:21:52,299
(CHOKES)
375
00:21:53,319 --> 00:21:54,559
Don't tell me what it is.
376
00:21:54,539 --> 00:21:55,739
That's a lamb bollock.
377
00:21:57,019 --> 00:22:00,299
What's wrong with eating
a little sheep bollock, really?
378
00:22:00,379 --> 00:22:03,219
(CHOKES)
Stop mentioning testicles.
379
00:22:04,859 --> 00:22:06,939
Right. Now, I don't know how
you eat one of these.
380
00:22:07,139 --> 00:22:09,479
I think you just pick it up
with your hand and have a chunk.
381
00:22:09,679 --> 00:22:11,299
That's like stone - that's solid.
382
00:22:11,179 --> 00:22:13,339
Oh, fucking hell, it's a head!
383
00:22:13,539 --> 00:22:17,079
Just have a bite of that. I'm not
eating it now, not now it's a head.
384
00:22:17,099 --> 00:22:18,479
Oh, Karl.
385
00:22:20,859 --> 00:22:23,579
Bloody hell. God. In a minute.
386
00:22:23,779 --> 00:22:25,579
Just have a bite of it of its face.
387
00:22:25,659 --> 00:22:27,259
Stop pushing it to me.
388
00:22:27,439 --> 00:22:28,439
Argh!
389
00:22:28,519 --> 00:22:30,439
Go on, just bite...bite into it.
390
00:22:32,779 --> 00:22:35,339
Oh, fucking hell.
You've let me down.
391
00:22:35,419 --> 00:22:39,319
Fuck off. I'm not letting you down.
Forget it. Forget it.
392
00:22:39,399 --> 00:22:41,779
It's stupid. I don't want to be part
of your fucking games.
393
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:45,019
Don't throw bollocks at me
like that, either. Ridiculous.
394
00:22:46,979 --> 00:22:50,079
I've got a job to do, I didn't want
to go down with illness.
395
00:22:50,039 --> 00:22:51,919
That's part of it, I think.
396
00:22:51,859 --> 00:22:54,939
You're doing travel and then,
whatever you do, if that happens,
397
00:22:55,139 --> 00:22:57,279
that's part of the story.
Right.
398
00:22:57,239 --> 00:23:00,539
Honestly, there's people here who
would watch Attenborough
399
00:23:00,539 --> 00:23:02,659
and think it's a cooking programme.
400
00:23:04,059 --> 00:23:05,979
Here, look. Look at him.
401
00:23:11,259 --> 00:23:13,239
What's he shoving in.
It's like a little blade.
402
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,259
Oh...yeah.
403
00:23:19,619 --> 00:23:22,299
That's nice, that, isn't it?
It is nice.
404
00:23:22,499 --> 00:23:25,999
He seems to know how far
he can go with it.
405
00:23:25,919 --> 00:23:27,619
Tickly.
406
00:23:27,519 --> 00:23:31,439
Oh, my God. Jesus, Warwick.
407
00:23:31,379 --> 00:23:33,439
You've had that in your ear,
it's the same...
408
00:23:33,419 --> 00:23:36,039
I didn't have that much.
Well...
409
00:23:36,059 --> 00:23:38,459
No wonder you haven't shit yourself
since you've been here,
410
00:23:38,579 --> 00:23:41,999
you've just... All your orifices are
blocked up wax.
411
00:23:41,919 --> 00:23:44,059
Good Jesus.
It's disgusting, actually.
412
00:23:44,139 --> 00:23:46,899
It is. You should do your ears,
you dirty little shit.
413
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:49,779
It's deep in...! You could actually
make a little Madame Tussauds
414
00:23:49,639 --> 00:23:52,539
model of Warwick with the amount
of wax that's come out of his head.
415
00:23:52,619 --> 00:23:53,899
(LAUGHS)
416
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:58,059
Funny little fella, isn't he?
417
00:23:58,159 --> 00:24:00,619
Imagine him as a removal man. Yeah.
418
00:24:00,819 --> 00:24:02,099
Pissing about.
419
00:24:01,959 --> 00:24:03,539
Just get them in the van.
420
00:24:19,758 --> 00:24:21,798
On our way to see a Buddhist temple,
which is something
421
00:24:21,978 --> 00:24:26,038
I really wanted to see in China,
but my sinuses are really hurting.
422
00:24:26,118 --> 00:24:30,518
And... So, yeah,
I don't feel so great, to be honest.
423
00:24:30,578 --> 00:24:33,878
I've done a few mountains
and that, it hurts your head.
424
00:24:33,958 --> 00:24:37,678
But he's hurting his head
before we've even started so...
425
00:24:37,598 --> 00:24:40,198
Should we knock it on the head?
426
00:24:40,198 --> 00:24:43,078
Just...you're never going to get
this opportunity again -
427
00:24:43,278 --> 00:24:44,518
that's what I'm disappointed...
428
00:24:44,698 --> 00:24:47,238
If the memory of it is going,
"My head," what's the point?
429
00:24:47,338 --> 00:24:51,458
No... I want to do it, I want to
have a go at it, but I don't know.
430
00:24:51,558 --> 00:24:52,998
Should we just start walking,
just have a go?
431
00:24:53,178 --> 00:24:54,598
All right, let's just start walking.
Give it...
432
00:24:56,678 --> 00:24:59,078
If he manages to do
it on his own two feet,
433
00:24:59,278 --> 00:25:03,398
he's going to feel a lot better than
if he's sat in this.
434
00:25:03,598 --> 00:25:07,558
It's like going up there on a...a
chairlift, innit?
435
00:25:11,878 --> 00:25:14,758
So what do you know about Buddhism?
436
00:25:14,758 --> 00:25:17,038
Dalai Lama bloke.
437
00:25:16,958 --> 00:25:20,098
He's a sort of happy,
stress-free fella,
438
00:25:20,198 --> 00:25:22,998
but he's not living a normal life,
is he?
439
00:25:23,078 --> 00:25:26,338
If we all did what he did,
how would anything get done?
440
00:25:29,478 --> 00:25:32,738
He sits around,
coming up with thoughts,
441
00:25:32,838 --> 00:25:35,278
but he's got a bloke to
empty his bins,
442
00:25:35,138 --> 00:25:38,858
to wash the pots, to do his food.
443
00:25:40,238 --> 00:25:44,678
If we all did that...we'd still be
living in mud huts.
444
00:25:46,938 --> 00:25:49,778
(BOTH BREATH HEAVILY)
445
00:25:51,158 --> 00:25:52,758
Oh, God!
446
00:25:55,758 --> 00:25:57,478
Are you all right, yeah?
447
00:25:57,678 --> 00:26:00,998
I'm... I'm slightly
worried about getting in them.
448
00:26:01,098 --> 00:26:03,398
How can they carry someone
up these steps?
449
00:26:03,398 --> 00:26:06,118
That's what they do, though. It's a
little chair - they're made for it.
450
00:26:06,118 --> 00:26:10,278
If you're getting in now, it's
a little bit of a give up early.
451
00:26:10,378 --> 00:26:12,658
Yeah, all right, I don't want to be
seen to be giving up.
452
00:26:12,678 --> 00:26:14,278
I don't want to be...
453
00:26:15,078 --> 00:26:17,818
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
454
00:26:20,918 --> 00:26:23,878
He's not cut out for it.
He's not cut out for this.
455
00:26:24,058 --> 00:26:26,658
I keep looking behind
and he's dropped behind.
456
00:26:28,138 --> 00:26:31,598
He's slowing me down.
I want to move on.
457
00:26:31,478 --> 00:26:33,958
All right. I'm stopping for a bit.
All right.
458
00:26:35,038 --> 00:26:36,838
I mean, this is hard anyway,
459
00:26:36,838 --> 00:26:39,938
but with this
it's like twice as hard.
460
00:26:40,038 --> 00:26:41,838
Suzanne always has a moan at me.
461
00:26:41,758 --> 00:26:44,238
When she's ill I'm
rubbish around her.
462
00:26:44,118 --> 00:26:47,598
"Can't you nip to
the supermarket instead?"
463
00:26:47,478 --> 00:26:50,178
I'm just not good around ill people.
464
00:26:50,278 --> 00:26:52,198
How much further is it, do you know?
465
00:26:53,478 --> 00:26:56,038
I think we're not even
quarter of the way.
466
00:26:58,598 --> 00:27:01,858
It's OK to not get to the top,
Warwick. No, it's not OK. (CRIES)
467
00:27:06,678 --> 00:27:08,918
Just knock it on the head.
He's not a Buddhist,
468
00:27:08,998 --> 00:27:12,258
so why is it so important?
469
00:27:12,358 --> 00:27:17,638
You come so far through a journey
and you kind of...
470
00:27:17,638 --> 00:27:20,198
What we've been through and stuff,
it's...
471
00:27:20,398 --> 00:27:22,438
always managed to keep going
and then...
472
00:27:22,498 --> 00:27:24,998
He's his own man.
If he wants to give up, he can.
473
00:27:25,098 --> 00:27:27,638
There's no prize here.
We're not going to win something.
474
00:27:27,718 --> 00:27:30,918
There's not a caravan up for grabs
if we make it to the top.
475
00:27:31,018 --> 00:27:33,918
It just a walk and a temple.
476
00:27:33,878 --> 00:27:36,198
I don't know
whether it's better just to give up,
477
00:27:36,378 --> 00:27:40,198
"That's what I could do and that's
it", or to jump in there and...
478
00:27:40,198 --> 00:27:43,058
Karl.
Are you giving up?
479
00:27:43,078 --> 00:27:46,278
You knocking it on the head?
My head's not up to it, today.
480
00:27:46,378 --> 00:27:48,358
I want to go up and see it.
481
00:27:49,318 --> 00:27:51,238
You knew your limits down there.
482
00:27:51,238 --> 00:27:54,318
I said, "If you don't want to go
don't do it." Now we're halfway up.
483
00:27:54,238 --> 00:27:56,518
But I do want to go -
that's the thing.
484
00:28:00,698 --> 00:28:02,798
It's like dragging round
a Henry the Vac.
485
00:28:02,718 --> 00:28:05,978
You know that thing, you walk
and it gets caught under a chair and
486
00:28:05,898 --> 00:28:09,838
you've got to walk back and unblock
it, that's what it's been like...
487
00:28:09,758 --> 00:28:11,578
With your big smiling face.
488
00:28:15,198 --> 00:28:18,118
I'm going to call it a day, here.
Definitely?
489
00:28:19,078 --> 00:28:23,598
It's too easy to say I've got
headache or my legs or...
490
00:28:23,458 --> 00:28:25,938
It is easy
if you haven't got a headache.
491
00:28:25,958 --> 00:28:29,698
Karl, in my career,
I've put up with all sorts of stuff.
492
00:28:29,778 --> 00:28:33,758
The stuff I endure in costumes
and stuff, it's hard.
493
00:28:33,798 --> 00:28:37,358
This makes a mockery of the whole
Star Wars thing, anyway.
494
00:28:37,218 --> 00:28:40,798
You're in the universe. I didn't see
you up there going, "It hurts.
495
00:28:40,838 --> 00:28:43,938
"My sinuses." (GROANS)
496
00:28:44,038 --> 00:28:47,378
That's why he sounded like,
like that, his nose blocked.
497
00:28:47,398 --> 00:28:50,278
"Land, I need a Vicks."
498
00:28:51,998 --> 00:28:53,598
Ooh.
499
00:28:53,618 --> 00:28:56,378
No. I can't.
I don't think I'll get all the way.
500
00:28:58,918 --> 00:29:02,758
Sometimes, Karl, I don't think you
see what others see.
501
00:29:02,818 --> 00:29:05,518
You know? You're up there,
having a go at Warwick.
502
00:29:05,458 --> 00:29:08,938
Warwick's down below, actually
having a little tear on. I mean...
503
00:29:08,998 --> 00:29:10,998
You didn't cry, did you, on camera?
504
00:29:11,078 --> 00:29:15,078
Hang on. I didn't mean to...
Oh, here we go.
505
00:29:15,278 --> 00:29:16,898
I hate that.
506
00:29:16,998 --> 00:29:19,098
I feel like doing it just to
annoy him...
507
00:29:19,038 --> 00:29:21,158
Exactly. That's exactly how I work.
508
00:29:21,278 --> 00:29:23,338
That's how I do it with Suzanne.
509
00:29:23,378 --> 00:29:26,438
"You never wash up." "I do." "You
don't." Then she does it.
510
00:29:26,618 --> 00:29:28,198
It's the same thing, being pushed.
511
00:29:28,198 --> 00:29:31,378
What I want to say to you is,
"Get off your arse and get walking."
512
00:29:31,398 --> 00:29:33,838
Let's keep going.
We can do it.
513
00:29:33,718 --> 00:29:36,358
(SIGHS) Bloody hell.
514
00:29:36,558 --> 00:29:37,718
Wow! Jesus!
515
00:29:40,838 --> 00:29:42,618
Poor fellas.
516
00:29:47,338 --> 00:29:51,078
Now, if we do make it up,
he can't say he walked all the way.
517
00:29:51,258 --> 00:29:53,338
This is part
of the experience as well.
518
00:29:53,318 --> 00:29:55,558
It is now, is it?
It wasn't a minute ago.
519
00:29:55,558 --> 00:29:57,798
I thought, you know? Travel.
520
00:29:57,998 --> 00:30:00,358
That's what it's all about.
521
00:30:00,438 --> 00:30:03,878
(SIGHS) Pilkington moves the goal
posts once again.
522
00:30:10,158 --> 00:30:12,258
He is like having
a little kid with me.
523
00:30:12,358 --> 00:30:14,918
Cos of his height and he likes
toffees and he likes pizza,
524
00:30:15,018 --> 00:30:16,338
I feel like his dad.
525
00:30:16,538 --> 00:30:19,398
And that's what I was acting like
when I was coming up the hill.
526
00:30:19,578 --> 00:30:20,418
Like, "Come on, Son."
527
00:30:20,518 --> 00:30:23,378
If I've got a son, that's how
I would have spoke to him.
528
00:30:23,398 --> 00:30:25,998
"Get off your arse and get up here."
529
00:30:25,918 --> 00:30:28,698
(SIGHS) Wow.
530
00:30:28,618 --> 00:30:30,518
Oh, Jesus, it's more stairs.
531
00:30:32,218 --> 00:30:35,718
I tell you what, you can't be
a Buddhist in a wheelchair.
532
00:30:35,918 --> 00:30:38,698
I don't think he realises what
he's saying sometimes. Yeah.
533
00:30:38,658 --> 00:30:41,078
"Dragging a Henry Vacuum behind me
534
00:30:41,158 --> 00:30:44,038
"and having to stop
and empty it now and again."
535
00:30:44,038 --> 00:30:46,258
I mean, how offensive can you be?
536
00:30:46,278 --> 00:30:47,678
But he's what I needed.
537
00:30:49,038 --> 00:30:50,818
I gave him the kick to do it,
538
00:30:50,918 --> 00:30:54,118
and sometimes that's what you need,
innit? You need a good leader.
539
00:30:54,318 --> 00:30:57,478
I was like Winston Churchill or
something like that.
540
00:30:57,578 --> 00:31:01,678
Eight. Seven. Six.
541
00:31:01,538 --> 00:31:04,018
When you're going through hell,
keep going.
542
00:31:04,218 --> 00:31:05,618
That's what I did, down there.
543
00:31:05,638 --> 00:31:09,398
I was Winston Churchill. "Don't
give me that shit. Keep going."
544
00:31:09,478 --> 00:31:13,798
Three, two... Hang one. One.
545
00:31:13,918 --> 00:31:16,098
That's it. Yes.
546
00:31:16,198 --> 00:31:17,978
Here we are.
547
00:31:18,978 --> 00:31:20,518
That's amazing.
548
00:31:21,798 --> 00:31:24,998
Yeah. That's impressive, that.
Absolutely.
549
00:31:24,998 --> 00:31:27,018
You see, what annoys me,
Warwick, right.
550
00:31:26,998 --> 00:31:29,578
You didn't like seeing the woman
with two heads.
551
00:31:29,558 --> 00:31:33,458
Suddenly, you're happy with that.
She's got six. (LAUGHS)
552
00:31:33,478 --> 00:31:37,338
Were you really crying before or was
that just messing about?
553
00:31:37,258 --> 00:31:38,598
No, I was. Why?
554
00:31:39,718 --> 00:31:42,118
I think it's something to do
with being short.
555
00:31:42,218 --> 00:31:45,558
It's harder to be defeated.
Do you know what I mean?
556
00:31:45,638 --> 00:31:47,878
They'll make it
look like an X Factor moment.
557
00:31:48,078 --> 00:31:51,458
You'll be loving that, won't you?
They'll have Coldplay under that.
558
00:31:51,538 --> 00:31:52,978
(LAUGHS) (SINGS TUNE)
559
00:31:53,178 --> 00:31:55,338
"Will the little man do it?"
(SINGS)
560
00:31:55,298 --> 00:32:00,098
I'm telling you.
Everyone will be like that...oh!
561
00:32:01,598 --> 00:32:02,998
Come on.
562
00:32:05,258 --> 00:32:06,658
Coldplay!
563
00:32:08,198 --> 00:32:10,258
It has brought us closer together.
564
00:32:10,278 --> 00:32:12,358
But the one bad thing to
come out of this -
565
00:32:12,558 --> 00:32:14,378
he's got a disabled
badge for his car.
566
00:32:14,358 --> 00:32:15,998
He's going to get that
taken off him.
567
00:32:15,958 --> 00:32:18,958
Cos you can't be climbing stuff
like this and then getting home,
568
00:32:19,018 --> 00:32:21,138
going, "I need to park here."
That's well gone.
569
00:32:21,238 --> 00:32:22,798
I haven't told him.
570
00:32:28,038 --> 00:32:29,118
(VOICEMAIL)
571
00:33:08,278 --> 00:33:12,198
I don't like getting dressed up -
especially not to have a meal.
572
00:33:12,298 --> 00:33:14,018
If I'm having a Sunday
dinner at home
573
00:33:14,038 --> 00:33:16,998
I normally sit at home
with nowt on top.
574
00:33:17,198 --> 00:33:18,758
Take my T-shirt off and everything,
575
00:33:18,938 --> 00:33:20,538
cos you drop a bit of chicken in
gravy.
576
00:33:20,458 --> 00:33:22,418
Gravy's got grease in it -
it doesn't come out.
577
00:33:22,438 --> 00:33:25,478
Sit there, bare-chested,
around the table...
578
00:33:25,678 --> 00:33:28,278
and I enjoy it.
You don't have to be dressed up.
579
00:33:28,338 --> 00:33:31,558
I pop a T-shirt back on
when it's time for pudding.
580
00:33:31,558 --> 00:33:32,978
It's going to be all right, this.
581
00:33:32,998 --> 00:33:36,018
Ricky's sorted everything out.
It's going to be a lovely evening.
582
00:33:36,038 --> 00:33:37,718
It's really nice that he's set this
up
583
00:33:37,778 --> 00:33:39,918
to celebrate the end of the journey.
584
00:33:39,878 --> 00:33:42,918
And then, in true Ricky style,
585
00:33:43,118 --> 00:33:46,298
he's thrown a bit
of a spanner in the works for me.
586
00:33:46,218 --> 00:33:48,018
I got a text from him.
587
00:33:48,038 --> 00:33:50,478
We're not just going up there to
look at the view -
588
00:33:50,398 --> 00:33:55,738
he wants Karl to do a sky dive.
589
00:33:55,658 --> 00:33:58,178
(SIGHS) It's just faff, isn't it?
590
00:33:58,258 --> 00:34:00,518
Why do this
when we've invented buttons?
591
00:34:02,018 --> 00:34:03,358
Fannying about.
592
00:34:04,838 --> 00:34:08,998
What Ricky's basically said about
tonight is, "Don't let me down.
593
00:34:08,998 --> 00:34:11,378
"It's in your hands to get him
to do this.
594
00:34:11,398 --> 00:34:13,698
"I don't want the show to
finish on a damp squib.
595
00:34:13,778 --> 00:34:16,358
"You know?
We've got to end with a big finish.
596
00:34:16,558 --> 00:34:18,158
"Everyone wants to see him jump."
597
00:34:18,078 --> 00:34:20,918
# "The Good Life" - Frank Sinatra.
598
00:34:23,078 --> 00:34:26,138
You going to have a pudding?
Yeah.
599
00:34:26,018 --> 00:34:28,378
He's paying, of course.
600
00:34:28,298 --> 00:34:31,718
I actually like to see a plate
of food that I know is for me
601
00:34:31,918 --> 00:34:33,898
and it's my job to eat
what's on that plate.
602
00:34:33,878 --> 00:34:37,538
The way they sort of keep bringing
out dishes and noodles and then
603
00:34:37,638 --> 00:34:42,678
some dim sum and a dumpling - it's
just like a load of starters, innit?
604
00:34:42,758 --> 00:34:44,378
It's going to be nice.
605
00:34:53,954 --> 00:34:54,954
That way.
606
00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:58,734
Good seeing you dressed up.
607
00:34:58,734 --> 00:34:59,694
I dunno.
608
00:34:59,694 --> 00:35:02,854
Just for something to eat - it just
seems a bit over the top to me.
609
00:35:02,874 --> 00:35:06,014
Restaurant's at the top, there.
610
00:35:06,094 --> 00:35:07,614
(TANNOY) Welcome to Macau Tower.
611
00:35:07,694 --> 00:35:11,694
We hope you will enjoy your business
to this 338m iconic landmark.
612
00:35:13,034 --> 00:35:14,834
I got a text from Ricky earlier...
613
00:35:18,154 --> 00:35:19,614
hoping we had a nice time.
614
00:35:23,054 --> 00:35:25,694
They do other stuff here,
as well as food.
615
00:35:25,774 --> 00:35:27,634
You can...
616
00:35:27,614 --> 00:35:29,594
You can do sort of extreme...
617
00:35:29,614 --> 00:35:31,374
sort of sports.
618
00:35:31,474 --> 00:35:33,134
Bungee jumping - funny.
619
00:35:33,334 --> 00:35:36,014
It's not bungee jumping.
It is, though, innit?
620
00:35:36,114 --> 00:35:37,774
No, it isn't. Yes, it is.
621
00:35:37,954 --> 00:35:40,654
I'm not...
I don't do extreme stuff, Warwick.
622
00:35:40,654 --> 00:35:43,854
Hello, there, I'm Warwick.
Tony O'Rourke. How are you?
623
00:35:43,854 --> 00:35:46,874
Hi, Tony. How you been? Yeah, good.
Welcome to Macau Tower.
624
00:35:46,954 --> 00:35:47,854
We have various activities.
625
00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:51,314
We have our Skywalk,
which is walking the outer rim.
626
00:35:51,274 --> 00:35:54,994
We have our Skyjump, we have
our world's highest bungee jump.
627
00:35:54,954 --> 00:35:56,674
You know what bungee jumping is,
yeah?
628
00:35:56,594 --> 00:35:59,114
Yeah. I've been faced with it
and I'm not doing it.
629
00:35:59,194 --> 00:36:01,594
Skyjump is actually designed
for those people
630
00:36:01,614 --> 00:36:03,214
who could never
do a bungee jump.
631
00:36:03,294 --> 00:36:04,494
Go outside and have a look?
632
00:36:04,674 --> 00:36:06,414
Yeah, I'm happy to go outside and
have a look,
633
00:36:06,474 --> 00:36:07,854
it's just I'm not going to jump.
634
00:36:08,034 --> 00:36:10,274
As you can see,
everything is double.
635
00:36:10,294 --> 00:36:13,074
We attach the two attachments
to your harness, and then what
636
00:36:13,054 --> 00:36:16,174
we do is we slowly, ever so slowly,
just lower you to the ground.
637
00:36:16,374 --> 00:36:20,194
It's actually a controlled,
what we call a controlled, decent.
638
00:36:20,114 --> 00:36:23,214
Right.
It's just a gentle ride.
639
00:36:23,214 --> 00:36:26,394
Karl, come here.
Come here. Come here.
640
00:36:26,414 --> 00:36:28,354
Hang on a second.
641
00:36:28,274 --> 00:36:31,514
Do you remember...you remember
the mountain the other day? Yeah.
642
00:36:31,534 --> 00:36:33,574
Right.
I didn't want to do it, did I?
643
00:36:33,534 --> 00:36:35,214
I couldn't do it -
not that I didn't want to.
644
00:36:35,314 --> 00:36:38,014
You motivated me to do it.
Yes. And I'm glad I did.
645
00:36:38,094 --> 00:36:40,634
And the food thing,
and you were going, "Eat it",
646
00:36:40,654 --> 00:36:42,894
and I would never have gone
anywhere near a testicle,
647
00:36:43,094 --> 00:36:45,674
but I did because you were going,
"Have it."
648
00:36:45,774 --> 00:36:47,374
Why don't you do it?
649
00:36:47,574 --> 00:36:49,814
This is about you conquering
something.
650
00:36:53,014 --> 00:36:55,974
What was the other things that he
said you can do?
651
00:36:55,994 --> 00:36:58,634
The Skywalk, which is just walking
the perimeter of the tower.
652
00:36:58,714 --> 00:37:01,774
Yeah, that's a doddle.
That's easy, walking round that.
653
00:37:01,974 --> 00:37:05,054
There we go. Excellent.
654
00:37:07,374 --> 00:37:09,534
Wow.
655
00:37:09,614 --> 00:37:11,414
Oh.
656
00:37:11,274 --> 00:37:13,114
Oh, Jesus.
657
00:37:13,134 --> 00:37:14,834
Yeah, I don't like that.
658
00:37:16,014 --> 00:37:19,054
Karl, have you looked straight down?
Yeah.
659
00:37:19,054 --> 00:37:22,414
You're brain's telling you,
"This can't be real.
660
00:37:22,614 --> 00:37:25,294
"You wouldn't be this
stupid...surely?"
661
00:37:27,394 --> 00:37:29,894
I don't want any
more of a rush than that.
662
00:37:32,014 --> 00:37:35,694
I can understand the view,
but jumping off...
663
00:37:35,794 --> 00:37:38,634
I really don't know what it's about.
664
00:37:38,734 --> 00:37:39,934
Should we go for a wander?
665
00:37:42,254 --> 00:37:45,854
It's pathetic, though, innit?
What?
666
00:37:45,934 --> 00:37:49,854
Well... The fact that you won't
do the old sky dive?
667
00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:54,054
No. No. Just that...that Ricky keeps
going on about this.
668
00:37:54,074 --> 00:37:57,914
I don't want to do one and he can't
make me, and he wouldn't do one.
669
00:37:58,114 --> 00:38:00,174
It's not as if he's been
jumping off buildings.
670
00:38:00,174 --> 00:38:03,054
I've never seen him do anything with
a slight bit of danger.
671
00:38:03,254 --> 00:38:06,094
There's just nothing in me that
makes me want to jump off there.
672
00:38:06,294 --> 00:38:08,154
Sometimes, that's what annoys me
with films -
673
00:38:08,174 --> 00:38:09,934
it's always a happy ending.
674
00:38:10,134 --> 00:38:12,734
Life isn't like that. People don't
always get what they want.
675
00:38:12,994 --> 00:38:16,814
My favourite films are Elephant Man,
who ends up killing himself
676
00:38:17,014 --> 00:38:19,914
because he's sick of having that
head, and Kes,
677
00:38:20,014 --> 00:38:22,254
when his kestrel gets
killed by his brother.
678
00:38:22,254 --> 00:38:23,774
I don't like happy endings.
679
00:38:25,754 --> 00:38:27,914
Can you sit down on the edge?
680
00:38:28,014 --> 00:38:30,894
I can't get any nearer the edge
cos I've got tension...
681
00:38:31,074 --> 00:38:32,914
Where's your knees?
Have you got knees?
682
00:38:32,874 --> 00:38:34,754
(LAUGHS) Yeah!
683
00:38:36,014 --> 00:38:38,094
We've done this whole thing
together,
684
00:38:38,214 --> 00:38:39,794
epic journey,
685
00:38:39,754 --> 00:38:43,214
put up with all sorts of stuff...
686
00:38:43,334 --> 00:38:46,274
shouted, hated each other,
687
00:38:46,294 --> 00:38:49,814
got on with each other - we should
do the last thing together.
688
00:38:49,754 --> 00:38:52,794
I'll do it if you do it.
Well, I'm not going to be doing it.
689
00:38:52,914 --> 00:38:55,374
It can't be that hard. Look at me,
now. I'm hanging over here.
690
00:38:55,474 --> 00:38:57,834
I know. That's what I'm saying
- you could do it.
691
00:39:00,134 --> 00:39:02,554
Right. Hook me up.
692
00:39:02,574 --> 00:39:05,754
Have you ever had a dwarf
up here before, to do this?
693
00:39:05,774 --> 00:39:08,174
Nope.
So this is a world record, then?
694
00:39:08,354 --> 00:39:10,574
Check. OK.
Just checking.
695
00:39:10,674 --> 00:39:13,614
Rear attachment, check.
That's making me nervous.
696
00:39:15,054 --> 00:39:17,694
You're going to feel yourself
lifting off.
697
00:39:17,794 --> 00:39:19,974
No. No way. Warwick, that is mental.
698
00:39:19,894 --> 00:39:21,954
Bloody hell!
699
00:39:21,994 --> 00:39:23,974
Argh!
700
00:39:23,894 --> 00:39:26,114
I just looked out there.
701
00:39:26,154 --> 00:39:28,014
Warwick, are you sure?
702
00:39:28,094 --> 00:39:29,474
Oh, fucking hell.
703
00:39:29,434 --> 00:39:31,454
Stay there.
I'm here.
704
00:39:31,634 --> 00:39:33,834
No. No way.
Don't look at me.
705
00:39:35,614 --> 00:39:36,734
You don't have to do it.
706
00:39:38,214 --> 00:39:40,874
You're idiots, all of you.
707
00:39:40,894 --> 00:39:43,934
You're going to be fine.
Let's just do this.
708
00:39:43,934 --> 00:39:45,334
We're going to do it, OK, Warwick?
709
00:39:45,554 --> 00:39:47,654
Skyjump in five seconds.
710
00:39:47,554 --> 00:39:50,314
Four.
Don't say...don't count out.
711
00:39:50,334 --> 00:39:52,254
Fuck! Good luck.
712
00:39:52,454 --> 00:39:54,214
Argh! Oh, my God!
713
00:39:54,074 --> 00:39:56,574
Fucking hell!
Oh, my God.
714
00:39:56,674 --> 00:39:59,634
Oh, Jesus. No. I don't want to look.
I do not want to look.
715
00:39:59,554 --> 00:40:01,054
That was way too fast.
716
00:40:02,314 --> 00:40:04,654
Wah-ha-ha! Fucking hell!
717
00:40:04,834 --> 00:40:07,014
(LAUGHS)
718
00:40:08,254 --> 00:40:09,794
This is amazing!
719
00:40:09,774 --> 00:40:11,574
Oh, yes.
720
00:40:11,594 --> 00:40:13,594
Yes! Yes! Yes!
721
00:40:15,674 --> 00:40:18,034
How was it?
That was amazing.
722
00:40:18,054 --> 00:40:20,574
Fucking hell!
That's so good!
723
00:40:21,454 --> 00:40:23,134
That's amazing.
724
00:40:23,234 --> 00:40:26,694
I want to do it again.
That is so good!
725
00:40:26,554 --> 00:40:28,034
(PHONE RINGS)
726
00:40:29,894 --> 00:40:31,334
Hello, Ricky, it's Warwick.
727
00:40:31,254 --> 00:40:34,434
We're at the top
of the Sky Tower in Macau...
728
00:40:34,394 --> 00:40:35,934
and I just jumped off it.
729
00:40:37,794 --> 00:40:38,874
Yeah.
730
00:40:40,494 --> 00:40:43,774
Yeah, I did it. It felt great,
and Karl nearly did it.
731
00:40:43,774 --> 00:40:47,354
Yeah. I just sort of walked
round the edge of it...
732
00:40:47,454 --> 00:40:48,574
well high up.
733
00:40:58,654 --> 00:40:59,774
Yeah.
734
00:41:08,094 --> 00:41:09,314
Yeah.
735
00:41:11,594 --> 00:41:13,154
(RICKY LAUGHS)
736
00:41:14,654 --> 00:41:18,834
I'm pleased for Warwick.
I feel like I've been part of it.
737
00:41:18,754 --> 00:41:20,774
I helped him get out on the ledge.
738
00:41:20,694 --> 00:41:21,994
And then you ran away.
739
00:41:22,214 --> 00:41:24,774
Yeah, but I helped you do it.
It's teamwork, innit?
740
00:41:29,894 --> 00:41:32,734
Yeah. Well, that's... That was worth
doing, wasn't it?
741
00:41:32,734 --> 00:41:34,034
It's for my health.
742
00:41:36,674 --> 00:41:39,074
Finger up the arse?
I'm fine with that.
743
00:41:39,054 --> 00:41:41,374
I'm all checked out up there,
honestly. (LAUGHS)
744
00:41:41,374 --> 00:41:43,514
And I've had my ears
done on this trip as well,
745
00:41:43,594 --> 00:41:45,374
so all orifices are clear.
746
00:41:45,554 --> 00:41:46,414
Jesus.
747
00:41:48,094 --> 00:41:50,494
Oh, I've seen then, don't worry.
748
00:41:50,494 --> 00:41:52,734
You haven't.
In his little harness he's got on.
749
00:41:52,914 --> 00:41:55,294
Like a little bunch of grapes...
being lowered down.
750
00:41:55,294 --> 00:41:57,354
Cargo.
751
00:41:57,574 --> 00:41:58,674
Look at them. Piss off.
752
00:41:58,634 --> 00:42:01,854
It's unbelievable because they're
normal, aren't they?
753
00:42:02,034 --> 00:42:03,134
They're normal-sized bollocks.
754
00:42:03,334 --> 00:42:06,014
Well, I don't know. I'm not
comparing them to anything, but...
755
00:42:06,014 --> 00:42:07,634
Believe me.
756
00:42:07,554 --> 00:42:09,694
Wh...? Why...? (LAUGHS)
757
00:42:13,574 --> 00:42:15,954
(PHONE BEEPS)
He's gone.
758
00:42:15,874 --> 00:42:18,474
That's the end of that.
There you go.
759
00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:21,734
Stop going on about my nuts.
I know, but it's unbelievable.
760
00:42:21,594 --> 00:42:24,474
That's something I won't forget -
the Spider Sisters and them.
761
00:42:24,574 --> 00:42:27,494
(LAUGHS) Jesus. That's all you'll
take away from this trip,
762
00:42:27,374 --> 00:42:29,614
is the Spider Sisters and my nuts?
763
00:42:29,694 --> 00:42:31,674
Great. Right.
Let's get something to eat.
764
00:42:33,734 --> 00:42:36,794
# "A Time For Us" - Frank Sinatra.
765
00:42:57,894 --> 00:42:58,874
Wow!
766
00:43:07,294 --> 00:43:10,294
(CROWD LAUGHS)
Urgh!
767
00:43:10,334 --> 00:43:13,634
Hey!
(LAUGHS)
768
00:43:15,334 --> 00:43:16,634
Let me down!
769
00:43:17,934 --> 00:43:19,614
Karl, smile.
770
00:43:30,294 --> 00:43:34,134
Knew you were coming.
(LAUGHS)
771
00:43:39,934 --> 00:43:42,054
Hey!
772
00:43:48,674 --> 00:43:50,974
Wow.
773
00:43:51,074 --> 00:43:52,254
Where's your knees?
774
00:43:52,434 --> 00:43:57,254
Have you got knees?
(LAUGHS) Yeah!
775
00:43:57,114 --> 00:44:01,334
I wasn't even attached, then.
I could've fell off. Jesus.
776
00:44:02,954 --> 00:44:04,974
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777
00:44:05,054 --> 00:44:07,134
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