1 00:00:47,763 --> 00:00:49,263 D'oh! 2 00:00:58,555 --> 00:01:02,555 ♪ The Simpsons 24x09 ♪ Homer Goes to Prep School Original Air Date on January 6, 2013 3 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:07,360 == sync, corrected by elderman == 4 00:01:07,374 --> 00:01:10,009 Learn Zone? Mom, you said we were going someplace fun. 5 00:01:10,951 --> 00:01:12,430 Yeah, Mom, you promised! 6 00:01:12,475 --> 00:01:14,822 Homer, I told you, don't call me "Mom." 7 00:01:14,922 --> 00:01:16,589 Sorry, Mrs. Simpson. 8 00:01:25,282 --> 00:01:26,449 Ooh! 9 00:01:26,484 --> 00:01:28,051 This isn't a learn zone. 10 00:01:28,085 --> 00:01:29,469 Darn it, it's a fun place! 11 00:01:29,503 --> 00:01:30,987 - Yay! - Yay! 12 00:01:34,191 --> 00:01:36,993 For maximum safety, all children must wear 13 00:01:37,028 --> 00:01:38,978 anti-kidnapping bracelets. 14 00:01:40,231 --> 00:01:42,999 Is this a kid you'd pay ransom for? 15 00:01:43,034 --> 00:01:45,268 Dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail? 16 00:01:45,302 --> 00:01:46,770 I don't know. Feed it to the dog? 17 00:01:46,804 --> 00:01:47,971 You'd have to wrap cheese around it. 18 00:01:48,005 --> 00:01:50,407 Don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog! 19 00:02:01,235 --> 00:02:02,802 Whoa! 20 00:02:02,837 --> 00:02:04,487 Where do they go? 21 00:02:04,505 --> 00:02:05,522 Whoa! 22 00:02:07,508 --> 00:02:09,309 Welcome to the Mormon Church, 23 00:02:09,343 --> 00:02:11,344 America's most respectable cult. 24 00:02:12,546 --> 00:02:13,913 Keep an eye on the kids, Homer. 25 00:02:13,948 --> 00:02:15,915 Can I keep an eye on that kid? 26 00:02:17,568 --> 00:02:18,868 He's fabulous. 27 00:02:18,903 --> 00:02:20,220 Bart and Lisa. 28 00:02:20,254 --> 00:02:22,989 Oh! It's always my kids. 29 00:02:23,023 --> 00:02:24,707 Yay! 30 00:02:25,843 --> 00:02:27,143 Where'd they go? 31 00:02:27,177 --> 00:02:28,812 Oh. Hmm. 32 00:02:28,846 --> 00:02:31,481 Almost. 33 00:02:32,049 --> 00:02:34,184 Holy moley. 34 00:02:34,218 --> 00:02:35,985 What the...?! 35 00:02:37,521 --> 00:02:38,872 Oh, it's hopeless! 36 00:02:38,906 --> 00:02:40,106 What's hopeless? 37 00:02:40,141 --> 00:02:41,841 Who the hell are you? 38 00:02:44,528 --> 00:02:45,979 Dad, come up, come up! Pretty, pretty please! 39 00:02:46,013 --> 00:02:47,347 Absolutely not! 40 00:02:47,381 --> 00:02:49,349 My adult frame is simply too large. 41 00:02:49,383 --> 00:02:50,850 Come on, Dad! No! Never! 42 00:02:50,885 --> 00:02:52,719 Come on, Dad! Fine. 43 00:02:52,753 --> 00:02:54,721 Here I come. 44 00:02:54,755 --> 00:02:56,306 Crawling. 45 00:02:56,340 --> 00:02:58,324 So... painful. 46 00:02:59,643 --> 00:03:00,894 Duck walk. 47 00:03:00,928 --> 00:03:03,379 Infinitely worse. Ooh! 48 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,201 Only wanted... to be fun. 49 00:03:08,235 --> 00:03:09,469 Shh, shh, shh. 50 00:03:09,503 --> 00:03:11,921 Soon you'll know peace. 51 00:03:18,362 --> 00:03:19,679 I made it, kids! 52 00:03:19,713 --> 00:03:23,516 I am king of Learnington Castle! 53 00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:25,685 We tricked you. 54 00:03:25,719 --> 00:03:27,253 Eat Nerf, Homeboy! 55 00:03:27,288 --> 00:03:31,274 Real... mature...! 56 00:03:32,610 --> 00:03:34,377 Yay! 57 00:03:34,411 --> 00:03:37,647 Ralphie! 58 00:03:38,649 --> 00:03:40,717 Huh? Hmm. 59 00:03:40,751 --> 00:03:42,368 What cool kid thing's in here? 60 00:03:42,403 --> 00:03:44,687 No kids. That's what's cool. 61 00:03:49,276 --> 00:03:51,461 I have a phone. It's very tiny. 62 00:03:51,495 --> 00:03:53,730 Ain't no shame in being poor, boy. 63 00:03:53,764 --> 00:03:56,633 What's pitiful is if you is ignorant. 64 00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:59,736 Is these mice pillows here for the taking? 65 00:03:59,770 --> 00:04:01,037 I hate working here. 66 00:04:01,071 --> 00:04:02,539 At least at Krustyburger, 67 00:04:02,573 --> 00:04:04,724 you could burn yourself and go home. 68 00:04:07,261 --> 00:04:09,362 Unauthorized child departure. 69 00:04:09,396 --> 00:04:10,563 Lockdown mode initiated. 70 00:04:16,687 --> 00:04:18,705 Another stupid kid got out. 71 00:04:18,739 --> 00:04:20,773 I can't tell the manager. 72 00:04:20,808 --> 00:04:23,076 I am the manager. Duh! 73 00:04:23,110 --> 00:04:25,261 We're locked in! 74 00:04:26,964 --> 00:04:29,782 These lasers are nothing more than colored lights! 75 00:04:29,817 --> 00:04:31,985 Calm down, everyone. Calm down. 76 00:04:32,019 --> 00:04:34,153 I'm sure they'll have us out of here soon. 77 00:04:34,188 --> 00:04:36,055 Until then, why don't we bond 78 00:04:36,090 --> 00:04:37,957 by sharing our childbirth experiences. 79 00:04:37,992 --> 00:04:40,326 The nurses were so great. 80 00:04:40,361 --> 00:04:42,896 My husband held my hand the whole time. 81 00:04:42,930 --> 00:04:45,615 See? All you need to get through a crisis 82 00:04:45,649 --> 00:04:47,517 is a little friendly conversation. 83 00:04:47,551 --> 00:04:50,153 Bet you the dads are doing the same thing. 84 00:04:54,408 --> 00:04:56,259 The sneeze guard is broken! 85 00:04:56,293 --> 00:04:58,261 There is no law! 86 00:04:58,295 --> 00:05:00,663 Oh, I just came here to pick up my daughter. 87 00:05:00,698 --> 00:05:02,649 But now I'm gonna kill you all! 88 00:05:04,385 --> 00:05:05,985 Don't forget your jacket, sweetie. 89 00:05:10,457 --> 00:05:12,025 Get out of there, you! 90 00:05:12,059 --> 00:05:13,509 Never! 91 00:05:15,029 --> 00:05:17,413 Mmm. Butter. 92 00:05:26,705 --> 00:05:28,172 Round and round. 93 00:05:28,206 --> 00:05:29,807 Round and round. 94 00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:33,561 Freedom! 95 00:05:35,614 --> 00:05:36,931 Let's get out of here! Come on! 96 00:05:41,102 --> 00:05:43,120 Apes. Deep down, we're all savage apes. 97 00:05:43,154 --> 00:05:45,055 Leave your body, Homer. 98 00:05:47,492 --> 00:05:49,693 What the hell was that? 99 00:05:51,296 --> 00:05:53,764 You've been through a traumatic experience. 100 00:05:53,798 --> 00:05:56,300 Are you sure you want to go to work today? 101 00:05:56,334 --> 00:05:57,902 Well, I've taken eight months off. 102 00:05:57,936 --> 00:06:00,838 It's time to get back on the horse. 103 00:06:06,044 --> 00:06:08,279 Ho, ho, ho. 104 00:06:08,313 --> 00:06:10,748 Ho, ho, ho. 105 00:06:10,782 --> 00:06:13,901 Hey, neighbor, your welcome mat's looking a little dusty. 106 00:06:13,935 --> 00:06:16,086 Mind if I come over and sweeten your greetin'. 107 00:06:16,121 --> 00:06:17,721 Sweeten your greetin'! 108 00:06:17,756 --> 00:06:19,523 Sweeten your greetin'. 109 00:06:19,557 --> 00:06:21,392 Three Neds are better than one! 110 00:06:28,917 --> 00:06:31,318 I hate to be a nag, but this is my real head. 111 00:06:36,558 --> 00:06:40,394 I guess, despite all our so-called civilization, 112 00:06:40,428 --> 00:06:42,529 anarchy lurks around every corner, 113 00:06:42,564 --> 00:06:44,632 like a racially-diverse street gang 114 00:06:44,666 --> 00:06:46,667 on a network cop show. 115 00:06:46,701 --> 00:06:50,871 My friend, you just experienced W.R.O.L. firsthand. 116 00:06:50,905 --> 00:06:52,673 Hey, hey, read the sign, pal, no acronyms. 117 00:06:52,707 --> 00:06:53,974 You see? 118 00:06:54,009 --> 00:06:56,176 And that goes for the rest of youse, too! 119 00:06:56,211 --> 00:06:57,378 Okay, okay. 120 00:06:57,412 --> 00:06:59,980 Hey, in this bar, we say "Old Kinderhook!" 121 00:07:00,015 --> 00:07:01,882 What's W.R.O.L.? 122 00:07:01,916 --> 00:07:03,817 It means "Without the Rule of Law." 123 00:07:03,852 --> 00:07:07,287 Anarchy. The end of civilization. 124 00:07:07,322 --> 00:07:09,823 Coming soon to an America near you. 125 00:07:09,858 --> 00:07:11,425 America can't collapse! 126 00:07:11,459 --> 00:07:13,861 We're as powerful as ancient Rome! 127 00:07:13,895 --> 00:07:16,497 Ah, take a look at this. 128 00:07:16,531 --> 00:07:17,881 The modern world-- 129 00:07:17,916 --> 00:07:20,351 an inexorable march of progress. 130 00:07:20,385 --> 00:07:21,518 Sweet. 131 00:07:21,553 --> 00:07:22,686 Or is it? 132 00:07:24,022 --> 00:07:25,456 We're slaves to the system. 133 00:07:25,490 --> 00:07:27,925 Close the supermarket, and we starve. 134 00:07:27,959 --> 00:07:30,527 Cut off the tap, we drink our cat's blood. 135 00:07:39,204 --> 00:07:42,489 Who will survive in this new world? 136 00:07:42,524 --> 00:07:46,393 The man who is prepared. 137 00:07:57,238 --> 00:07:58,572 Oh, my God! 138 00:07:58,606 --> 00:08:00,407 This unsourced, undated video 139 00:08:00,442 --> 00:08:02,242 has convinced me beyond any doubt! 140 00:08:02,277 --> 00:08:06,180 And I'm the guy you want to know when the stuff hits the fan. 141 00:08:06,214 --> 00:08:08,282 Hey, man, no need to almost swear. 142 00:08:08,316 --> 00:08:10,317 Come with me. 143 00:08:11,319 --> 00:08:12,886 Well, Homer's gone. 144 00:08:12,921 --> 00:08:16,090 Let's all go into our suspended state till he gets back. 145 00:08:21,930 --> 00:08:25,799 Homer, meet the Springfield Preppers. 146 00:08:25,834 --> 00:08:28,402 Preppies? Oh, I hate you guys! 147 00:08:28,436 --> 00:08:31,338 Always partying on deck with your Docksiders 148 00:08:31,372 --> 00:08:34,074 while us townies are scrubbing the bilge! 149 00:08:34,109 --> 00:08:35,743 Not preppies. Preppers. 150 00:08:35,777 --> 00:08:38,078 But I like your hatred. 151 00:08:38,113 --> 00:08:39,546 It's based on nothing. 152 00:08:39,581 --> 00:08:41,048 That's super. 153 00:08:41,082 --> 00:08:44,718 Now, Homer, what would you do in the case of an E.M.P.? 154 00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:48,889 Electromagnetic pulse. 155 00:08:50,291 --> 00:08:51,525 A burst of radiation 156 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:53,894 that knocks out every electrical system in the country. 157 00:08:53,928 --> 00:08:55,229 I'd slash my wrists. 158 00:08:55,263 --> 00:08:57,197 But how, without my electric knife?! 159 00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,716 There is an alternative to suicide. 160 00:08:59,751 --> 00:09:01,618 Mm. I can't conceive of any. 161 00:09:01,653 --> 00:09:04,988 We can teach you the skills you need to survive any crisis. 162 00:09:05,023 --> 00:09:05,923 Ooh. 163 00:09:05,957 --> 00:09:07,157 All we ask is 164 00:09:07,192 --> 00:09:08,926 that you keep your prepping secret. 165 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,829 We won't have room for all the unprepared. 166 00:09:11,863 --> 00:09:15,299 Don't worry. I'm very good at keeping secrets. 167 00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:17,301 "Impending doom." 168 00:09:17,335 --> 00:09:18,469 What you reading, Dad? 169 00:09:19,671 --> 00:09:21,004 Honey, everything's fine. 170 00:09:21,039 --> 00:09:22,773 There's nothing to worry about. 171 00:09:22,807 --> 00:09:24,374 When grown-ups say that, 172 00:09:24,409 --> 00:09:26,643 it means there is something to worry about. 173 00:09:26,678 --> 00:09:28,378 Just go play your saxophone. 174 00:09:28,413 --> 00:09:29,847 While you can. 175 00:09:29,881 --> 00:09:30,914 What does that mean? 176 00:09:30,949 --> 00:09:33,016 Secrets? I have no secrets! 177 00:09:33,051 --> 00:09:34,885 Just enjoy this golden time 178 00:09:34,919 --> 00:09:37,688 you will soon cling desperately to the memory of. 179 00:09:37,722 --> 00:09:40,023 Smell some bread! 180 00:09:41,059 --> 00:09:43,026 When things go south, 181 00:09:43,061 --> 00:09:47,030 the sheeple will clean out every supermarket in town. 182 00:09:47,065 --> 00:09:48,432 Typical sheeple. 183 00:09:48,466 --> 00:09:52,152 Uh... are you eating my grain? 184 00:09:52,187 --> 00:09:53,954 Maybe. 185 00:09:53,988 --> 00:09:56,523 That was a five-pound bag! 186 00:09:56,558 --> 00:09:58,225 Yeah, but I'll go home, weigh myself, 187 00:09:58,259 --> 00:10:00,160 and I'll have gained six pounds. 188 00:10:00,195 --> 00:10:01,361 What's that about? 189 00:10:01,396 --> 00:10:03,163 ♪ Prep, prep, prep. 190 00:10:04,499 --> 00:10:06,633 Hey, Dad, are we going camping? 191 00:10:06,668 --> 00:10:09,536 I guess an open garage isn't the best hiding place. 192 00:10:09,571 --> 00:10:11,538 What's up? Going crazy again? 193 00:10:11,573 --> 00:10:13,240 I wish. 194 00:10:13,274 --> 00:10:15,509 Son, the best way to explain this is 195 00:10:15,543 --> 00:10:18,645 to show you some age-inappropriate movies. 196 00:10:24,986 --> 00:10:27,154 So, what have you learned so far 197 00:10:27,188 --> 00:10:30,090 from our post-apocalyptic movie marathon? 198 00:10:30,124 --> 00:10:33,327 Guys who call themselves Preacher or Deacon are very bad. 199 00:10:33,361 --> 00:10:35,929 Water is money, unless gasoline is money. 200 00:10:35,964 --> 00:10:38,131 And even though lots of things are razor-sharp, 201 00:10:38,166 --> 00:10:39,366 no one ever shaves. 202 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,668 Hollywood has taught you well, my son. 203 00:10:41,703 --> 00:10:44,371 Now let's push play. 204 00:10:46,691 --> 00:10:49,259 Now the Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills 205 00:10:49,294 --> 00:10:53,197 will teach you the true meaning of cold! 206 00:10:57,252 --> 00:11:00,020 I have come from a place where the land is warm, 207 00:11:00,054 --> 00:11:04,157 and the only ice is made by machines called... 208 00:11:04,192 --> 00:11:06,627 fridge-ra-torrs. 209 00:11:06,661 --> 00:11:10,764 Fridge-ra-torrs! Fridge-ra-torrs! 210 00:11:10,798 --> 00:11:12,432 Fridge-ra-torrs! 211 00:11:12,467 --> 00:11:14,301 Aren't they just saying "refrigerator"? 212 00:11:14,335 --> 00:11:17,804 Do not question the wisdom of Tom Skerritt. 213 00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:20,140 Here it is, Homer. 214 00:11:20,174 --> 00:11:22,542 The Springfield Preppers' top secret Bug-Out Retreat. 215 00:11:22,577 --> 00:11:24,695 Wow! Your end of the world 216 00:11:24,729 --> 00:11:27,197 is better than my during the world. 217 00:11:27,232 --> 00:11:29,349 Homer, we all know America's collapse 218 00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:31,184 is about three months away. 219 00:11:31,219 --> 00:11:33,186 Six weeks at most. 220 00:11:33,221 --> 00:11:34,688 There's always one alarmist. 221 00:11:34,722 --> 00:11:36,623 Anyway, when the Four Horsemen ride, 222 00:11:36,658 --> 00:11:39,426 we want you and your collaterals right here with us. 223 00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:40,494 Aw. 224 00:11:40,528 --> 00:11:42,696 Uh, listen, I've got to know-- 225 00:11:42,730 --> 00:11:44,564 you're not just being nice to me 226 00:11:44,599 --> 00:11:47,434 because in a pinch you could make candles from my fat? 227 00:11:47,468 --> 00:11:48,802 Well, that is a big part of it. 228 00:11:48,836 --> 00:11:50,971 It's okay. I know what I am. 229 00:11:53,141 --> 00:11:54,441 Hmm? 230 00:11:54,475 --> 00:11:56,843 I can't find all our cereal crackers, 231 00:11:56,878 --> 00:11:59,446 juice boxes, the butter brush... 232 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:03,450 Um... a lot of that stuff must've got lost in the move. 233 00:12:03,484 --> 00:12:05,218 What move? We haven't moved. 234 00:12:05,253 --> 00:12:06,887 What's going on? 235 00:12:06,921 --> 00:12:10,724 Oh! I want to tell you, but I promised to keep it a secret. 236 00:12:10,758 --> 00:12:13,627 You can't have secrets from your wife! 237 00:12:13,661 --> 00:12:16,830 It's very late in the marriage to tell me that. 238 00:12:16,864 --> 00:12:20,033 I've hidden all our supplies behind a fake wall. 239 00:12:20,068 --> 00:12:22,736 I thought the basement looked cleaner. 240 00:12:22,770 --> 00:12:24,871 See? These are our bug-out bags. 241 00:12:24,906 --> 00:12:27,307 In here is everything we need to survive. 242 00:12:27,342 --> 00:12:28,642 Survive what? 243 00:12:28,676 --> 00:12:31,111 The looming kablooey. 244 00:12:31,145 --> 00:12:33,981 It's reassuring to see you're aware of the future, 245 00:12:34,015 --> 00:12:37,117 but this is all a little... creepy. 246 00:12:37,151 --> 00:12:38,118 Creepy?! 247 00:12:38,152 --> 00:12:40,087 Marge, the apocalypse is coming. 248 00:12:40,121 --> 00:12:43,123 Maybe not tomorrow, maybe never, but it's coming. 249 00:12:43,157 --> 00:12:45,125 And soon. 250 00:12:45,159 --> 00:12:47,110 I'm going to bed. 251 00:12:49,530 --> 00:12:52,699 There's no handle on this side! 252 00:12:53,901 --> 00:12:56,486 The one thing I couldn't prepare for. 253 00:12:59,918 --> 00:13:01,586 Oh, these here are my snack chips. 254 00:13:01,637 --> 00:13:04,040 Your cheese puffs. Those are doodles. 255 00:13:04,394 --> 00:13:06,395 I will eat anything orange except an orange. 256 00:13:09,666 --> 00:13:11,967 And that's how you deliver a baby calf 257 00:13:12,001 --> 00:13:14,803 with a bathroom plunger. Mm-hmm. 258 00:13:21,411 --> 00:13:22,845 An E.M.P.?! 259 00:13:22,879 --> 00:13:24,697 You know what that means! 260 00:13:24,731 --> 00:13:27,049 Hand scissors. 261 00:13:38,595 --> 00:13:40,579 Oh. 262 00:14:02,285 --> 00:14:06,255 All electronics in Springfield have been disabled. 263 00:14:06,289 --> 00:14:08,924 Even the musical greeting cards. 264 00:14:10,693 --> 00:14:12,694 This is it. Bug-out time. 265 00:14:12,729 --> 00:14:16,115 Everyone but us is doomed. 266 00:14:16,149 --> 00:14:18,233 I am so jazzed. 267 00:14:20,403 --> 00:14:21,937 Mr. Mayor, what's your administration doing 268 00:14:21,971 --> 00:14:23,772 to ensure there's no panic? 269 00:14:23,807 --> 00:14:26,158 I don't know. What is your administration doing? 270 00:14:26,192 --> 00:14:27,593 There you have it. 271 00:14:27,627 --> 00:14:29,678 A town without rules, without leadership, 272 00:14:29,712 --> 00:14:31,146 without television. 273 00:14:31,181 --> 00:14:33,916 This is Kent Brockman, talking to himself. 274 00:14:35,251 --> 00:14:37,286 Marge, this is it, TEOTWAWKI! 275 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,955 "The end of the world as we know it"? 276 00:14:39,989 --> 00:14:41,123 Uh-huh. Where's the kids? 277 00:14:41,157 --> 00:14:42,958 Lisa and Maggie are downstairs, 278 00:14:42,992 --> 00:14:45,227 and Bart's in his room with Milhouse. 279 00:14:45,261 --> 00:14:46,995 Boy, get in the car, 280 00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:49,064 and say good-bye to your best friend forever. 281 00:14:49,098 --> 00:14:50,432 Bye forever, Milhouse. 282 00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:51,633 See you, Bart. 283 00:14:53,436 --> 00:14:54,636 Mmm. 284 00:14:54,671 --> 00:14:56,104 This is my daughter. 285 00:14:56,139 --> 00:14:59,308 She brings the gift of music to the new world. 286 00:14:59,342 --> 00:15:02,411 Is that sax alto or baritone? Baritone. 287 00:15:02,445 --> 00:15:05,314 This is gonna be a long apocalypse. 288 00:15:05,348 --> 00:15:06,748 Ay, caramba! 289 00:15:06,783 --> 00:15:08,250 Ay, caramba indeed. 290 00:15:08,284 --> 00:15:09,451 Dad, how are we supposed to spend 291 00:15:09,486 --> 00:15:10,686 the rest of our lives here? 292 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,020 We're already bored. 293 00:15:12,055 --> 00:15:14,156 Here's something to pass the endless time. 294 00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:15,557 Write down which celebrities 295 00:15:15,592 --> 00:15:17,726 were rumored to be gay for future generations. 296 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,328 Yes, sir. 297 00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:21,697 Society will not 298 00:15:21,731 --> 00:15:23,932 have to start from square one. 299 00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:29,605 Homie, I never thought we'd turn our backs 300 00:15:32,876 --> 00:15:35,577 Marge, when I started prepping for the end of the world, 301 00:15:35,612 --> 00:15:37,346 everyone laughed at me. 302 00:15:37,380 --> 00:15:38,714 No one was laughing. 303 00:15:38,748 --> 00:15:40,282 You kept it a secret! 304 00:15:40,316 --> 00:15:41,683 Well, just because I imagined it, 305 00:15:41,718 --> 00:15:43,085 doesn't make it any less true. 306 00:15:43,119 --> 00:15:45,988 And now all those people are on their own. 307 00:15:46,022 --> 00:15:48,357 How can you call yourself a Christian? 308 00:15:48,391 --> 00:15:51,693 If Jesus had a gun, he'd be alive today. 309 00:15:51,728 --> 00:15:53,312 Homer Simpson! 310 00:15:53,346 --> 00:15:55,531 When I fell in love with you, 311 00:15:55,565 --> 00:15:59,051 it was because of your big heart and your good looks. 312 00:15:59,085 --> 00:16:02,187 But some day, those good looks are gonna fade. 313 00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:03,655 What?! 314 00:16:04,991 --> 00:16:06,325 Soon we'll be approached 315 00:16:06,359 --> 00:16:08,827 by people who haven't prepared. 316 00:16:08,862 --> 00:16:10,796 Now, do not look at their faces. 317 00:16:10,830 --> 00:16:12,998 That can trigger feelings and emotions, 318 00:16:13,032 --> 00:16:15,651 which have no place 319 00:16:15,685 --> 00:16:19,488 in Civilization 2.0: Rise of the Weirdos. 320 00:16:19,522 --> 00:16:21,490 I may have solved that problem. 321 00:16:21,524 --> 00:16:23,225 This rifle scope I modified 322 00:16:23,259 --> 00:16:27,229 makes any human face look dangerous and threatening. 323 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,334 Boom. 324 00:16:32,368 --> 00:16:34,069 Why do we have to shoot them at all? 325 00:16:34,103 --> 00:16:36,204 Are you that good with a knife? 326 00:16:36,239 --> 00:16:39,675 No! I want to help the people who didn't prepare. 327 00:16:39,709 --> 00:16:42,010 Boom. Boom. 328 00:16:42,045 --> 00:16:44,012 Boom. What'd you shoot me for? 329 00:16:44,047 --> 00:16:46,582 You were thinking I'd gone mad with power, weren't you?! 330 00:16:46,616 --> 00:16:48,150 I wasn't, but I am now. 331 00:16:48,184 --> 00:16:49,418 Boom-boom- boom-boom-boom. 332 00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:01,030 Oh, God, now what? 333 00:17:01,065 --> 00:17:03,866 Every time you wake us up early in the morning, 334 00:17:03,901 --> 00:17:06,869 it's either church or we have to change our identities. 335 00:17:06,904 --> 00:17:09,539 Don't be silly, Mary Ellen. 336 00:17:09,573 --> 00:17:11,074 Now we're going to leave this place. 337 00:17:11,108 --> 00:17:12,225 I'm sorry, Bart. 338 00:17:12,259 --> 00:17:14,193 I know you've made a bug-out camp girlfriend. 339 00:17:14,228 --> 00:17:15,468 I've got to be honest with you. 340 00:17:15,496 --> 00:17:17,864 It was just a bag of rice I drew a face on. 341 00:17:17,898 --> 00:17:18,965 White ricer brown? 342 00:17:18,999 --> 00:17:19,816 I never noticed. 343 00:17:19,850 --> 00:17:20,883 Good boy. 344 00:17:20,918 --> 00:17:22,819 So we'll take these supplies 345 00:17:22,853 --> 00:17:25,121 back to Springfield where they're needed most. 346 00:17:25,155 --> 00:17:28,057 You're a good man, Homer Simpson. 347 00:17:32,579 --> 00:17:34,547 You said you cut the wires to the alarm. 348 00:17:34,581 --> 00:17:36,883 Hmm, I cut the wires to something. 349 00:17:47,473 --> 00:17:49,488 Okay everybody, keep your eyes peeled 350 00:17:49,513 --> 00:17:53,465 for an unlit mile post marked "23" or "36" or something. 351 00:17:53,483 --> 00:17:54,800 If we miss it, we're dead. 352 00:17:54,818 --> 00:17:56,902 Dad, there are lights following us. 353 00:17:56,937 --> 00:17:59,572 How can that be? I took every last can of gas. 354 00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:09,448 Now, everyone relax and pretend we're about to be hit 355 00:18:09,483 --> 00:18:10,850 by a soft brick wall. 356 00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:13,819 Out of our way, corn! 357 00:18:13,837 --> 00:18:15,371 The starving people of Springfield 358 00:18:15,422 --> 00:18:17,873 are desperately in need of our delivery of canned corn, 359 00:18:17,924 --> 00:18:21,427 corn flakes and flash frozen corn niblets! 360 00:18:31,304 --> 00:18:33,239 I'm proud of you. 361 00:18:33,273 --> 00:18:36,675 Society may have crumbled, but our decency hasn't. 362 00:18:36,710 --> 00:18:39,578 Now to save these sorry souls from a life of anarchy, 363 00:18:39,613 --> 00:18:43,182 starvation and having sex for procreation. 364 00:18:44,217 --> 00:18:46,018 Huh? 365 00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:52,858 Oh, everything's normal. 366 00:18:52,893 --> 00:18:55,294 The world didn't end! 367 00:18:55,328 --> 00:18:58,631 Dad, you said people would be drinking each other's blood. 368 00:18:58,665 --> 00:19:02,468 You got to watch a VHS copy of Red Dawn 13 times! 369 00:19:02,502 --> 00:19:04,470 Stop complaining! 370 00:19:04,504 --> 00:19:06,038 What happened with the E.M.P.? 371 00:19:06,073 --> 00:19:08,207 Only Springfield lost power, 372 00:19:08,241 --> 00:19:11,143 you see, and after a few days, it came back. 373 00:19:11,178 --> 00:19:13,696 Maybe a little bit brighter. 374 00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,898 And the spirit of neighborly cooperation broke out 375 00:19:15,932 --> 00:19:18,868 as if all the weird, angry people had left. 376 00:19:18,902 --> 00:19:20,603 Then society didn't crumble? 377 00:19:20,637 --> 00:19:22,872 The zoo animals weren't eaten? 378 00:19:22,906 --> 00:19:24,707 No-- well, a couple. 379 00:19:24,741 --> 00:19:28,878 This non-disaster is a catastrophe! 380 00:19:28,912 --> 00:19:32,014 Are you really so disappointed the world didn't end, 381 00:19:32,048 --> 00:19:34,150 just so you could be proven right? 382 00:19:34,184 --> 00:19:35,284 No, no. 383 00:19:35,318 --> 00:19:37,286 It's just that, in the new world, 384 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,789 I would have been a big shot. 385 00:19:39,823 --> 00:19:41,090 Well, not for long. 386 00:19:41,124 --> 00:19:42,758 Me and the others were planning 387 00:19:42,793 --> 00:19:45,127 to overthrow you and seal you in a cave. 388 00:19:45,162 --> 00:19:47,530 Yeah, but what you didn't know 389 00:19:47,564 --> 00:19:50,065 was I was gonna poison all your drinking water. 390 00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:53,335 Which is why I'm only drinking my own urine. 391 00:19:55,388 --> 00:19:58,390 Guys, can't you see that even an imperfect society 392 00:19:58,425 --> 00:20:01,427 is better than the savagery of creating a new one? 393 00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:03,762 I for one am glad we're stuck with civilization, 394 00:20:03,797 --> 00:20:08,033 and I think we will be for a long, long time. 395 00:20:17,748 --> 00:20:19,119 I'm hungry. 396 00:20:19,144 --> 00:20:21,112 Look, you can have potato chips now, 397 00:20:21,113 --> 00:20:23,200 or if you wait ten minutes, you can have 398 00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:24,852 all the brains you can eat. 399 00:20:24,853 --> 00:20:26,100 I want both. 400 00:20:27,606 --> 00:20:32,606 == sync, corrected by elderman == 401 00:21:13,994 --> 00:21:15,206 Shh!