1
00:00:26,959 --> 00:00:28,793
(exclaiming)
2
00:00:33,311 --> 00:00:35,262
(school bell ringing)
3
00:00:37,726 --> 00:00:38,792
(Barney belches)
4
00:00:39,084 --> 00:00:41,051
(whistle blows)
5
00:00:41,086 --> 00:00:43,087
(yells)
6
00:00:47,242 --> 00:00:48,509
(beeping)
7
00:00:53,732 --> 00:00:55,833
(playing the blues)
8
00:00:56,868 --> 00:00:59,712
(playing the blues)
9
00:00:59,911 --> 00:01:01,145
(tires screeching)
10
00:01:03,133 --> 00:01:04,633
D'oh!
11
00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:05,872
(tires screeching)
12
00:01:05,945 --> 00:01:07,629
(grunts)
13
00:01:12,104 --> 00:01:13,905
(humming)
14
00:01:13,937 --> 00:01:16,937
♪ The Simpsons 24x09 ♪
Homer Goes to Prep School
Original Air Date on January 6, 2013
15
00:01:16,979 --> 00:01:19,979
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
16
00:01:22,857 --> 00:01:25,492
Learn Zone? Mom, you said
we were going someplace fun.
17
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:27,913
Yeah, Mom, you promised!
18
00:01:27,958 --> 00:01:30,305
Homer, I told you,
don't call me "Mom."
19
00:01:30,405 --> 00:01:31,824
Sorry, Mrs. Simpson.
20
00:01:31,857 --> 00:01:33,424
(groans)
21
00:01:35,394 --> 00:01:37,078
(laughter)
22
00:01:37,312 --> 00:01:38,879
(excited vocalizing)
23
00:01:38,951 --> 00:01:40,618
(whirring, children cheering)
24
00:01:40,765 --> 00:01:41,721
Ooh!
25
00:01:41,748 --> 00:01:43,790
This isn't a learn zone.
26
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:45,645
Darn it, it's a fun place!
27
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:46,992
- Yay!
-(whoops) Yay!
28
00:01:47,055 --> 00:01:48,355
(laughter)
29
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:52,102
For maximum safety,
all children must wear
30
00:01:52,137 --> 00:01:54,087
anti-kidnapping bracelets.
31
00:01:54,122 --> 00:01:55,305
(laughs)
32
00:01:55,340 --> 00:01:58,108
Is this a kid
you'd pay ransom for?
33
00:01:58,143 --> 00:02:00,377
Dad, what would you do
if you got my ear in the mail?
34
00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:01,879
I don't know.
Feed it to the dog?
35
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,080
You'd have
to wrap cheese around it.
36
00:02:03,114 --> 00:02:05,944
Don't you tell me
how to feed you to the dog!
37
00:02:06,784 --> 00:02:08,252
(laughter)
38
00:02:09,454 --> 00:02:10,904
(snoring)
39
00:02:12,237 --> 00:02:14,706
(whooping and laughter)
40
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,911
Whoa!
(screaming)
41
00:02:17,946 --> 00:02:19,596
Where do they go?
42
00:02:19,732 --> 00:02:20,749
Whoa!
43
00:02:22,329 --> 00:02:24,304
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Welcome to the Mormon Church,
44
00:02:24,351 --> 00:02:26,436
America's most respectable cult.
45
00:02:26,488 --> 00:02:27,621
(whooping and laughing)
46
00:02:27,655 --> 00:02:29,413
Keep an eye on the kids, Homer.
47
00:02:29,431 --> 00:02:31,398
Can I keep an eye on that kid?
48
00:02:32,664 --> 00:02:33,964
He's fabulous.
49
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,304
Bart and Lisa.
50
00:02:35,350 --> 00:02:38,085
Oh! It's always my kids.
51
00:02:38,132 --> 00:02:39,816
Yay!
(laughing)
52
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,252
Where'd they go?
53
00:02:42,286 --> 00:02:44,330
Oh. Hmm.
54
00:02:45,823 --> 00:02:47,418
Almost.
55
00:02:47,926 --> 00:02:49,783
Holy moley.
56
00:02:49,864 --> 00:02:51,631
What the...?!
57
00:02:52,599 --> 00:02:54,455
Oh, it's hopeless!
58
00:02:54,490 --> 00:02:55,579
What's hopeless?
59
00:02:55,612 --> 00:02:57,312
Who the hell are you?
60
00:02:57,852 --> 00:02:59,527
(laughter and cheering)
61
00:02:59,568 --> 00:03:01,170
Dad, come up, come up!
Pretty, pretty please!
62
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,548
Absolutely not!
63
00:03:02,596 --> 00:03:05,283
My adult frame
is simply too large.
64
00:03:05,304 --> 00:03:07,260
- Come on, Dad!
- No! Never!
65
00:03:07,297 --> 00:03:08,997
- Come on, Dad!
- Fine. Here I come.
66
00:03:09,036 --> 00:03:10,011
(grunting)
67
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,365
Crawling.
68
00:03:11,449 --> 00:03:13,433
So... painful.
69
00:03:13,468 --> 00:03:14,836
(grunting)
70
00:03:14,915 --> 00:03:16,006
Duck walk.
71
00:03:16,074 --> 00:03:18,525
Infinitely worse. Ooh!
72
00:03:18,568 --> 00:03:20,185
(grunting)
73
00:03:20,251 --> 00:03:21,215
(panting)
74
00:03:21,264 --> 00:03:23,703
Only wanted...
to be fun.
75
00:03:23,750 --> 00:03:24,884
Shh, shh, shh.
76
00:03:24,909 --> 00:03:27,327
Soon you'll know peace.
77
00:03:31,769 --> 00:03:33,437
(panting)
78
00:03:33,471 --> 00:03:34,788
I made it, kids!
79
00:03:34,822 --> 00:03:38,625
I am king
of Learnington Castle!
80
00:03:38,666 --> 00:03:40,004
(laughing)
81
00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:42,372
- We tricked you.
- Eat Nerf, Homeboy!
82
00:03:42,397 --> 00:03:46,383
Real... mature...!
83
00:03:46,417 --> 00:03:47,684
(grunts)
84
00:03:47,719 --> 00:03:49,486
Yay! (laughing)
85
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,756
Ralphie! Shoes!
(Homer grunting)
86
00:03:53,970 --> 00:03:55,722
Huh? Hmm.
87
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,477
What cool kid thing's in here?
88
00:03:57,512 --> 00:03:59,925
No kids. That's what's cool.
89
00:04:00,012 --> 00:04:03,064
(humming)
90
00:04:04,322 --> 00:04:06,748
I have a phone.
It's very tiny.
91
00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:08,874
Ain't no shame
in being poor, boy.
92
00:04:08,911 --> 00:04:11,791
What's pitiful is
if you is ignorant.
93
00:04:12,269 --> 00:04:14,842
Is these mice pillows here
for the taking?
94
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,441
I hate working here.
95
00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:17,661
At least at Krustyburger,
96
00:04:17,682 --> 00:04:19,985
you could burn yourself
and go home.
97
00:04:20,529 --> 00:04:22,345
(siren blaring)
98
00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:24,354
MALE VOICE:
Unauthorized child departure.
99
00:04:24,399 --> 00:04:26,149
Lockdown mode initiated.
100
00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:28,366
(gasping)
101
00:04:29,927 --> 00:04:31,762
(yelling)
102
00:04:32,082 --> 00:04:34,241
Another stupid kid got out.
103
00:04:34,385 --> 00:04:36,039
I can't tell the manager.
104
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,344
I am the manager. Duh!
105
00:04:39,006 --> 00:04:40,644
We're locked in!
106
00:04:40,768 --> 00:04:42,153
(whirring)
107
00:04:42,177 --> 00:04:44,995
These lasers are nothing more
than colored lights!
108
00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:47,187
Calm down, everyone.
Calm down.
109
00:04:47,228 --> 00:04:49,448
I'm sure they'll have us
out of here soon.
110
00:04:49,509 --> 00:04:51,376
Until then, why don't we bond
111
00:04:51,399 --> 00:04:54,267
by sharing
our childbirth experiences.
112
00:04:54,613 --> 00:04:56,101
The nurses were so great.
113
00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:58,213
My husband held
my hand the whole time.
114
00:04:58,276 --> 00:05:00,731
See? All you need
to get through a crisis
115
00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:02,871
is a little
friendly conversation.
116
00:05:02,904 --> 00:05:05,190
Bet you the dads
are doing the same thing.
117
00:05:05,215 --> 00:05:07,216
(clamoring)
118
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:11,368
The sneeze guard is broken!
119
00:05:11,402 --> 00:05:13,370
There is no law!
120
00:05:13,404 --> 00:05:15,772
Oh, I just came here
to pick up my daughter.
121
00:05:15,807 --> 00:05:17,758
But now I'm gonna kill you all!
122
00:05:17,792 --> 00:05:19,459
(laughing maniacally)
123
00:05:19,494 --> 00:05:21,094
Don't forget your
jacket, sweetie.
124
00:05:21,129 --> 00:05:22,913
(laughing maniacally)
125
00:05:25,566 --> 00:05:27,134
Get out of there, you!
126
00:05:27,168 --> 00:05:28,618
Never!
127
00:05:28,653 --> 00:05:30,278
(screaming)
128
00:05:30,344 --> 00:05:32,728
Mmm. Butter.
129
00:05:37,415 --> 00:05:38,815
(clamoring)
130
00:05:38,862 --> 00:05:41,997
(humming)
131
00:05:42,052 --> 00:05:43,519
Round and round.
132
00:05:43,553 --> 00:05:45,154
Round and round.
133
00:05:46,396 --> 00:05:48,714
Freedom!
134
00:05:48,854 --> 00:05:50,438
(grunts)
135
00:05:50,482 --> 00:05:52,269
MAN: Let's get out of
here! Come on!
136
00:05:52,312 --> 00:05:54,013
(loud chatter)
137
00:05:54,047 --> 00:05:56,372
(hooting)
138
00:05:56,405 --> 00:05:59,093
Apes. Deep down,
we're all savage apes.
139
00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:01,071
Leave your body, Homer.
140
00:06:03,107 --> 00:06:04,858
What the hell was that?
141
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,556
(barking)
142
00:06:06,643 --> 00:06:09,442
You've been through
a traumatic experience.
143
00:06:09,513 --> 00:06:11,641
Are you sure you want
to go to work today?
144
00:06:11,681 --> 00:06:13,781
Well, I've taken
eight months off.
145
00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:16,354
It's time to get
back on the horse.
146
00:06:18,221 --> 00:06:20,055
(baby cooing)
147
00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:21,357
(chittering)
148
00:06:21,391 --> 00:06:23,626
Ho, ho, ho.
(electrical buzzing)
149
00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:26,751
Ho, ho, ho.
150
00:06:26,885 --> 00:06:29,240
Hey, neighbor, your welcome
mat's looking a little dusty.
151
00:06:29,282 --> 00:06:31,282
Mind if I come over
and sweeten your greetin'.
152
00:06:31,318 --> 00:06:33,014
Sweeten your greetin'!
153
00:06:33,070 --> 00:06:34,762
BOTH:
Sweeten your greetin'.
154
00:06:34,787 --> 00:06:36,622
ALL:
Three Neds are better than one!
155
00:06:36,654 --> 00:06:37,637
(shrieks)
156
00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:40,099
(panting)
157
00:06:41,294 --> 00:06:44,158
(grunting)
158
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,596
I hate to be a nag,
but this is my real head.
159
00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:48,645
(loud grunt)
160
00:06:51,905 --> 00:06:55,741
I guess, despite all
our so-called civilization,
161
00:06:55,775 --> 00:06:57,876
anarchy lurks
around every corner,
162
00:06:57,911 --> 00:06:59,979
like a racially-diverse
street gang
163
00:07:00,013 --> 00:07:02,014
on a network cop show.
164
00:07:02,048 --> 00:07:06,218
My friend, you just experienced
W.R.O.L. firsthand.
165
00:07:06,252 --> 00:07:08,020
Hey, hey, read the sign, pal,
no acronyms.
166
00:07:08,054 --> 00:07:09,321
You see?
167
00:07:09,356 --> 00:07:11,523
And that goes
for the rest of youse, too!
168
00:07:11,558 --> 00:07:12,725
Okay, okay.
169
00:07:12,759 --> 00:07:15,327
Hey, in this bar,
we say "Old Kinderhook!"
170
00:07:15,362 --> 00:07:17,229
What's W.R.O.L.?
171
00:07:17,263 --> 00:07:19,164
It means "Without
the Rule of Law."
172
00:07:19,199 --> 00:07:22,634
Anarchy. The end
of civilization.
173
00:07:22,669 --> 00:07:25,170
Coming soon
to an America near you.
174
00:07:25,205 --> 00:07:26,772
America can't collapse!
175
00:07:26,806 --> 00:07:29,208
We're as powerful
as ancient Rome!
176
00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:31,844
Ah, take a look at this.
177
00:07:31,878 --> 00:07:33,228
NARRATOR:
The modern world--
178
00:07:33,263 --> 00:07:35,698
an inexorable march
of progress.
179
00:07:35,732 --> 00:07:36,865
Sweet.
180
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:38,033
Or is it?
181
00:07:38,068 --> 00:07:39,335
(screams)
182
00:07:39,369 --> 00:07:40,803
We're slaves to the system.
183
00:07:40,837 --> 00:07:43,272
Close the supermarket,
and we starve.
184
00:07:43,306 --> 00:07:45,874
Cut off the tap,
we drink our cat's blood.
185
00:07:45,909 --> 00:07:48,127
(dramatic music playing)
186
00:07:54,551 --> 00:07:57,836
NARRATOR: Who will survive
in this new world?
187
00:07:57,871 --> 00:08:01,740
The man who is prepared.
188
00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:12,406
(upbeat tune plays)
189
00:08:12,453 --> 00:08:13,623
Oh, my God!
190
00:08:13,654 --> 00:08:15,584
This unsourced, undated video
191
00:08:15,607 --> 00:08:17,543
has convinced me
beyond any doubt!
192
00:08:17,624 --> 00:08:22,126
And I'm the guy you want to know
when the stuff hits the fan.
193
00:08:22,163 --> 00:08:24,231
Hey, man, no need
to almost swear.
194
00:08:24,388 --> 00:08:26,001
Come with me.
195
00:08:26,921 --> 00:08:28,187
Well, Homer's gone.
196
00:08:28,206 --> 00:08:31,375
Let's all go into our suspended
state till he gets back.
197
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:41,115
Homer, meet
the Springfield Preppers.
198
00:08:41,149 --> 00:08:43,958
Preppies? Oh, I hate you guys!
199
00:08:44,015 --> 00:08:46,664
Always partying on deck
with your Docksiders
200
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,297
while us townies
are scrubbing the bilge!
201
00:08:49,331 --> 00:08:50,965
Not preppies. Preppers.
202
00:08:51,124 --> 00:08:53,299
But I like your hatred.
203
00:08:53,328 --> 00:08:54,844
It's based on nothing.
204
00:08:54,890 --> 00:08:56,146
That's super.
205
00:08:56,173 --> 00:09:00,125
Now, Homer, what would you do
in the case of an E.M.P.?
206
00:09:01,267 --> 00:09:04,229
Electromagnetic pulse.
207
00:09:05,494 --> 00:09:06,664
A burst of radiation
208
00:09:06,701 --> 00:09:09,167
that knocks out every electrical
system in the country.
209
00:09:09,225 --> 00:09:10,463
I'd slash my wrists.
210
00:09:10,501 --> 00:09:12,544
But how,
without my electric knife?!
211
00:09:12,579 --> 00:09:15,063
There is an alternative
to suicide.
212
00:09:15,098 --> 00:09:16,965
Mm. I can't conceive of any.
213
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,335
We can teach you the skills
you need to survive any crisis.
214
00:09:20,370 --> 00:09:21,133
Ooh.
215
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,277
All we ask is
216
00:09:22,302 --> 00:09:24,202
that you keep
your prepping secret.
217
00:09:24,307 --> 00:09:27,176
We won't have room
for all the unprepared.
218
00:09:27,210 --> 00:09:30,646
Don't worry. I'm very good
at keeping secrets.
219
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,648
"Impending doom."
220
00:09:32,682 --> 00:09:34,100
What you reading, Dad?
221
00:09:34,131 --> 00:09:34,970
(screams)
222
00:09:35,018 --> 00:09:36,462
Honey, everything's fine.
223
00:09:36,486 --> 00:09:38,079
There's nothing to worry about.
224
00:09:38,135 --> 00:09:39,621
When grown-ups say that,
225
00:09:39,655 --> 00:09:41,889
it means there is something
to worry about.
226
00:09:41,962 --> 00:09:43,662
Just go play your saxophone.
227
00:09:43,703 --> 00:09:45,137
While you can.
228
00:09:45,177 --> 00:09:46,210
What does that mean?
229
00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:48,363
Secrets? I have no secrets!
230
00:09:48,398 --> 00:09:50,232
Just enjoy this golden time
231
00:09:50,266 --> 00:09:53,035
you will soon cling desperately
to the memory of.
232
00:09:53,069 --> 00:09:55,370
Smell some bread!
233
00:09:56,406 --> 00:09:58,373
When things go south,
234
00:09:58,408 --> 00:10:02,377
the sheeple will clean out
every supermarket in town.
235
00:10:02,412 --> 00:10:03,779
Typical sheeple.
236
00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:07,499
Uh... are you eating my grain?
237
00:10:07,534 --> 00:10:09,301
Maybe.
238
00:10:09,335 --> 00:10:11,870
That was a five-pound bag!
239
00:10:11,905 --> 00:10:13,572
Yeah, but I'll go
home, weigh myself,
240
00:10:13,606 --> 00:10:15,507
and I'll have
gained six pounds.
241
00:10:15,542 --> 00:10:16,708
What's that about?
242
00:10:16,743 --> 00:10:18,510
♪ Prep, prep, prep.
243
00:10:18,545 --> 00:10:19,811
(humming)
244
00:10:19,846 --> 00:10:22,196
Hey, Dad, are we going camping?
245
00:10:22,258 --> 00:10:25,126
I guess an open garage
isn't the best hiding place.
246
00:10:25,149 --> 00:10:26,863
What's up? Going
crazy again?
247
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,587
(scoffs)
I wish.
248
00:10:28,621 --> 00:10:30,856
Son, the best way
to explain this is
249
00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:33,992
to show you
some age-inappropriate movies.
250
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:42,501
So, what have you
learned so far
251
00:10:42,535 --> 00:10:45,437
from our post-apocalyptic
movie marathon?
252
00:10:45,471 --> 00:10:48,674
Guys who call themselves
Preacher or Deacon are very bad.
253
00:10:48,708 --> 00:10:51,276
Water is money,
unless gasoline is money.
254
00:10:51,311 --> 00:10:53,478
And even though lots of things
are razor-sharp,
255
00:10:53,513 --> 00:10:54,713
no one ever shaves.
256
00:10:54,747 --> 00:10:57,015
Hollywood has
taught you well, my son.
257
00:10:57,050 --> 00:10:59,718
Now let's push play.
258
00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:04,606
Now the Ice Bishop
of Beverly Hills
259
00:11:04,641 --> 00:11:08,544
will teach you
the true meaning of cold!
260
00:11:08,578 --> 00:11:10,596
(laughing maniacally)
261
00:11:12,599 --> 00:11:15,367
I have come from a place
where the land is warm,
262
00:11:15,401 --> 00:11:19,504
and the only ice is made
by machines called...
263
00:11:19,539 --> 00:11:21,974
fridge-ra-torrs.
264
00:11:22,008 --> 00:11:26,111
ALL (chanting): Fridge-ra-torrs!
Fridge-ra-torrs!
265
00:11:26,145 --> 00:11:27,779
Fridge-ra-torrs!
266
00:11:28,051 --> 00:11:29,845
Aren't they just
saying "refrigerator"?
267
00:11:29,869 --> 00:11:33,338
Do not question
the wisdom of Tom Skerritt.
268
00:11:34,087 --> 00:11:35,362
Here it is, Homer.
269
00:11:35,402 --> 00:11:37,770
The Springfield Preppers'
top secret Bug-Out Retreat.
270
00:11:37,799 --> 00:11:40,268
Wow! Your end
of the world
271
00:11:40,318 --> 00:11:42,786
is better than my
during the world.
272
00:11:42,898 --> 00:11:45,217
Homer, we all know
America's collapse
273
00:11:45,242 --> 00:11:46,623
is about three months away.
274
00:11:46,659 --> 00:11:48,476
Six weeks at most.
275
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,202
There's always one alarmist.
276
00:11:50,356 --> 00:11:51,938
Anyway, when
the Four Horsemen ride,
277
00:11:52,005 --> 00:11:54,655
we want you and your collaterals
right here with us.
278
00:11:54,701 --> 00:11:55,735
Aw.
279
00:11:55,818 --> 00:11:58,576
Uh, listen, I've got to know--
280
00:11:58,625 --> 00:11:59,912
you're not just being nice to me
281
00:11:59,946 --> 00:12:02,781
because in a pinch you could
make candles from my fat?
282
00:12:02,815 --> 00:12:04,149
Well, that is a big part of it.
283
00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:06,318
It's okay.
I know what I am.
284
00:12:08,488 --> 00:12:09,788
MARGE:
Hmm?
285
00:12:09,822 --> 00:12:12,376
I can't find
all our cereal crackers,
286
00:12:12,413 --> 00:12:14,901
juice boxes,
the butter brush...
287
00:12:14,933 --> 00:12:18,778
Um... a lot of that stuff
must've got lost in the move.
288
00:12:18,831 --> 00:12:20,565
What move?
We haven't moved.
289
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,234
What's going on?
290
00:12:22,268 --> 00:12:26,071
Oh! I want to tell you, but I
promised to keep it a secret.
291
00:12:26,105 --> 00:12:28,868
You can't have secrets
from your wife!
292
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:32,158
It's very late in the marriage
to tell me that.
293
00:12:32,211 --> 00:12:35,380
I've hidden all our supplies
behind a fake wall.
294
00:12:35,415 --> 00:12:38,083
I thought the basement
looked cleaner.
295
00:12:38,117 --> 00:12:40,218
See? These are
our bug-out bags.
296
00:12:40,253 --> 00:12:42,654
In here is everything
we need to survive.
297
00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:43,989
Survive what?
298
00:12:44,023 --> 00:12:46,404
The looming kablooey.
299
00:12:46,435 --> 00:12:49,340
It's reassuring to see
you're aware of the future,
300
00:12:49,362 --> 00:12:52,303
but this is all a little...
creepy.
301
00:12:52,328 --> 00:12:53,295
Creepy?!
302
00:12:53,323 --> 00:12:55,434
Marge, the apocalypse is coming.
303
00:12:55,468 --> 00:12:58,742
Maybe not tomorrow, maybe never,
but it's coming.
304
00:12:58,797 --> 00:13:00,410
And soon.
305
00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:02,426
I'm going to bed.
306
00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:08,152
There's no handle on this side!
307
00:13:09,248 --> 00:13:11,833
The one thing
I couldn't prepare for.
308
00:13:15,432 --> 00:13:17,100
Oh, these here
are my snack chips.
309
00:13:17,151 --> 00:13:19,847
Your cheese puffs.
Those are doodles.
310
00:13:19,908 --> 00:13:22,208
I will eat anything orange
except an orange.
311
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:25,145
(siren blaring, clattering)
312
00:13:25,186 --> 00:13:27,487
And that's
how you deliver a baby calf
313
00:13:27,527 --> 00:13:30,329
with a bathroom plunger. Mm-hmm.
314
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,321
(siren blaring)
315
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:35,889
(electrical buzzing)
316
00:13:35,907 --> 00:13:36,891
(clippers stop)
317
00:13:37,924 --> 00:13:39,125
An E.M.P.?!
318
00:13:39,156 --> 00:13:40,469
You know what that means!
319
00:13:40,501 --> 00:13:42,486
Hand scissors.
320
00:13:42,597 --> 00:13:43,731
(electrical buzzing)
321
00:13:43,765 --> 00:13:46,254
(gasps)
322
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:47,455
(gasping)
323
00:13:47,506 --> 00:13:49,507
(all muttering)
324
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,099
(electrical buzzing)
325
00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:56,174
Oh.
326
00:13:57,896 --> 00:13:59,513
(sighs)
327
00:14:01,516 --> 00:14:02,483
(humming)
328
00:14:02,517 --> 00:14:04,518
(electrical buzzing)
329
00:14:08,707 --> 00:14:10,724
♪
330
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,761
(electrical buzzing)
331
00:14:16,131 --> 00:14:17,765
(clamoring)
332
00:14:18,298 --> 00:14:21,923
All electronics in Springfield
have been disabled.
333
00:14:21,947 --> 00:14:24,582
Even the musical greeting cards.
334
00:14:24,634 --> 00:14:26,155
(clamoring)
335
00:14:26,182 --> 00:14:28,663
This is it.
Bug-out time.
336
00:14:28,724 --> 00:14:31,963
Everyone but us is doomed.
337
00:14:32,051 --> 00:14:34,432
I am so jazzed.
338
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:35,895
(high-pitched giggling)
339
00:14:36,010 --> 00:14:37,837
Mr. Mayor, what's your
administration doing
340
00:14:37,868 --> 00:14:39,356
to ensure there's no panic?
341
00:14:39,414 --> 00:14:41,765
I don't know. What is
your administration doing?
342
00:14:41,987 --> 00:14:43,075
There you have it.
343
00:14:43,141 --> 00:14:45,407
A town without rules,
without leadership,
344
00:14:45,507 --> 00:14:46,695
without television.
345
00:14:46,795 --> 00:14:49,530
This is Kent Brockman,
talking to himself.
346
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,800
Marge, this is it, TEOTWAWKI!
347
00:14:52,834 --> 00:14:55,469
(gasps) "The end of the world
as we know it"?
348
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:56,934
Uh-huh. Where's
the kids?
349
00:14:56,958 --> 00:14:58,759
Lisa and Maggie are downstairs,
350
00:14:58,780 --> 00:15:01,015
and Bart's in his room
with Milhouse.
351
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:02,870
Boy, get in the car,
352
00:15:02,907 --> 00:15:04,801
and say good-bye
to your best friend forever.
353
00:15:04,855 --> 00:15:06,189
Bye forever, Milhouse.
354
00:15:06,230 --> 00:15:07,396
See you, Bart.
355
00:15:08,994 --> 00:15:10,194
Mmm.
356
00:15:10,229 --> 00:15:11,662
This is my daughter.
357
00:15:11,697 --> 00:15:14,866
She brings the gift of
music to the new world.
358
00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:17,969
- Is that sax alto or baritone?
- Baritone.
359
00:15:18,003 --> 00:15:20,872
This is gonna be
a long apocalypse.
360
00:15:20,906 --> 00:15:22,306
Ay, caramba!
361
00:15:22,341 --> 00:15:23,808
Ay, caramba indeed.
362
00:15:23,842 --> 00:15:26,155
Dad, how are we supposed
to spend the rest of our lives here?
363
00:15:26,184 --> 00:15:27,484
We're already bored.
364
00:15:27,537 --> 00:15:29,740
Here's something
to pass the endless time.
365
00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:31,232
Write down which celebrities
366
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,826
were rumored to be gay
for future generations.
367
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,635
Yes, sir.
368
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,327
Society will not
369
00:15:37,345 --> 00:15:39,546
have to start from square one.
370
00:15:40,984 --> 00:15:43,019
(groaning)
371
00:15:43,078 --> 00:15:45,558
Homie, I never thought
we'd turn our backs
372
00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:48,384
on our loved ones at the first
hint of trouble.
373
00:15:48,434 --> 00:15:51,135
Marge, when I started prepping
for the end of the world,
374
00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:52,904
everyone laughed at me.
375
00:15:52,938 --> 00:15:54,272
No one was laughing.
376
00:15:54,306 --> 00:15:55,840
You kept it a secret!
377
00:15:55,874 --> 00:15:57,229
Well, just because
I imagined it,
378
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,811
doesn't make it any less true.
379
00:15:59,077 --> 00:16:01,558
And now all those
people are on their own.
380
00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:03,915
How can you call yourself
a Christian?
381
00:16:03,949 --> 00:16:07,251
If Jesus had a gun,
he'd be alive today.
382
00:16:07,286 --> 00:16:08,870
Homer Simpson!
383
00:16:08,904 --> 00:16:11,089
When I fell in love with you,
384
00:16:11,123 --> 00:16:14,609
it was because of your big heart
and your good looks.
385
00:16:14,643 --> 00:16:17,745
But some day, those good looks
are gonna fade.
386
00:16:17,780 --> 00:16:19,213
What?!
387
00:16:20,549 --> 00:16:21,883
Soon we'll be approached
388
00:16:21,917 --> 00:16:24,385
by people who haven't prepared.
389
00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:26,354
Now, do not look at their faces.
390
00:16:26,388 --> 00:16:28,556
That can trigger feelings
and emotions,
391
00:16:28,590 --> 00:16:31,209
which have no place
392
00:16:31,243 --> 00:16:35,046
in Civilization 2.0:
Rise of the Weirdos.
393
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,048
I may have solved that problem.
394
00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:38,783
This rifle scope I modified
395
00:16:38,817 --> 00:16:42,787
makes any human face
look dangerous and threatening.
396
00:16:46,358 --> 00:16:47,892
Boom.
397
00:16:47,926 --> 00:16:49,627
Why do we have
to shoot them at all?
398
00:16:49,661 --> 00:16:51,762
Are you that good with a knife?
399
00:16:51,797 --> 00:16:55,233
No! I want to help the people
who didn't prepare.
400
00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:57,568
Boom. Boom.
401
00:16:57,603 --> 00:16:59,570
- Boom.
- What'd you shoot me for?
402
00:16:59,605 --> 00:17:02,140
You were thinking I'd gone mad
with power, weren't you?!
403
00:17:02,174 --> 00:17:03,867
I wasn't, but I am now.
404
00:17:03,955 --> 00:17:05,189
Boom-boom-
boom-boom-boom.
405
00:17:09,782 --> 00:17:10,999
(snoring)
406
00:17:12,936 --> 00:17:14,353
(muffled horn honking)
407
00:17:14,387 --> 00:17:15,454
(others gasp)
408
00:17:15,488 --> 00:17:16,919
Oh, God, now what?
409
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,648
Every time you wake us up early
in the morning,
410
00:17:19,683 --> 00:17:22,559
it's either church or we have
to change our identities.
411
00:17:22,618 --> 00:17:25,253
Don't be silly, Mary Ellen.
412
00:17:25,275 --> 00:17:26,776
Now we're going
to leave this place.
413
00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:27,791
I'm sorry, Bart.
414
00:17:27,817 --> 00:17:29,917
I know you've made
a bug-out camp girlfriend.
415
00:17:29,942 --> 00:17:31,182
I've got to be honest with you.
416
00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:33,578
It was just a bag of rice
I drew a face on.
417
00:17:33,593 --> 00:17:34,660
White rice or brown?
418
00:17:34,675 --> 00:17:35,492
I never noticed.
419
00:17:35,514 --> 00:17:36,547
Good boy.
420
00:17:37,213 --> 00:17:38,475
So we'll take these supplies
421
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,931
back to Springfield where
they're needed most.
422
00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:43,852
You're a good man,
Homer Simpson.
423
00:17:45,985 --> 00:17:48,103
(alarm blaring)
424
00:17:48,137 --> 00:17:50,312
You said you cut the wires
to the alarm.
425
00:17:50,358 --> 00:17:52,799
Hmm, I cut the wires
to something.
426
00:18:03,031 --> 00:18:05,046
Okay everybody,
keep your eyes peeled
427
00:18:05,071 --> 00:18:09,023
for an unlit mile post marked
"23" or "36" or something.
428
00:18:09,041 --> 00:18:10,358
If we miss it, we're dead.
429
00:18:10,376 --> 00:18:12,460
Dad, there are lights
following us.
430
00:18:12,495 --> 00:18:15,130
How can that be?
I took every last can of gas.
431
00:18:16,799 --> 00:18:18,366
(horses whinnying)
432
00:18:22,905 --> 00:18:25,229
Now, everyone relax and pretend
we're about to be hit
433
00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:26,679
by a soft brick wall.
434
00:18:26,710 --> 00:18:27,831
(screaming)
435
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,557
Out of our way, corn!
436
00:18:29,582 --> 00:18:31,226
The starving people
of Springfield
437
00:18:31,251 --> 00:18:33,950
are desperately in need
of our delivery of canned corn,
438
00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:37,585
corn flakes
and flash frozen corn niblets!
439
00:18:43,699 --> 00:18:45,752
(tires squealing)
440
00:18:47,574 --> 00:18:49,118
I'm proud of you.
441
00:18:49,143 --> 00:18:52,678
Society may have crumbled,
but our decency hasn't.
442
00:18:52,868 --> 00:18:55,529
Now to save these sorry souls
from a life of anarchy,
443
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,914
starvation and having
sex for procreation.
444
00:19:00,987 --> 00:19:02,152
Huh?
445
00:19:07,173 --> 00:19:08,679
Oh, everything's normal.
446
00:19:08,719 --> 00:19:11,120
The world didn't end!
447
00:19:11,142 --> 00:19:14,445
Dad, you said people would be
drinking each other's blood.
448
00:19:14,479 --> 00:19:18,677
You got to watch a VHS
copy of Red Dawn 13 times!
449
00:19:18,797 --> 00:19:20,238
Stop complaining!
450
00:19:20,318 --> 00:19:21,852
What happened
with the E.M.P.?
451
00:19:21,887 --> 00:19:24,185
Only Springfield lost power,
452
00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:26,904
you see, and after a few
days, it came back.
453
00:19:26,953 --> 00:19:29,471
Maybe a little bit brighter.
(mutters)
454
00:19:29,525 --> 00:19:31,693
And the spirit of neighborly
cooperation broke out
455
00:19:31,746 --> 00:19:34,682
as if all the weird,
angry people had left.
456
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,699
Then society didn't crumble?
457
00:19:36,794 --> 00:19:38,676
The zoo animals weren't eaten?
458
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,521
No-- well, a couple.
459
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:44,692
This non-disaster
is a catastrophe!
460
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:47,828
Are you really so disappointed
the world didn't end,
461
00:19:47,862 --> 00:19:49,964
just so you could
be proven right?
462
00:19:49,998 --> 00:19:51,098
No, no.
463
00:19:51,132 --> 00:19:53,770
It's just that,
in the new world,
464
00:19:53,982 --> 00:19:55,751
I would have been a big shot.
465
00:19:55,799 --> 00:19:57,066
Well, not for long.
466
00:19:57,144 --> 00:19:58,650
Me and the others were planning
467
00:19:58,681 --> 00:20:01,094
to overthrow you
and seal you in a cave.
468
00:20:01,175 --> 00:20:03,350
Yeah, but what you didn't know
469
00:20:03,378 --> 00:20:05,879
was I was gonna poison
all your drinking water.
470
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:09,149
Which is why I'm only drinking
my own urine.
471
00:20:09,184 --> 00:20:11,168
(groans)
472
00:20:11,202 --> 00:20:14,204
Guys, can't you see
that even an imperfect society
473
00:20:14,239 --> 00:20:17,241
is better than the savagery
of creating a new one?
474
00:20:17,275 --> 00:20:19,576
I for one am glad we're stuck
with civilization,
475
00:20:19,611 --> 00:20:23,847
and I think we will be
for a long, long time.
476
00:20:33,562 --> 00:20:34,933
I'm hungry.
477
00:20:34,958 --> 00:20:36,926
Look, you can have
potato chips now,
478
00:20:36,927 --> 00:20:39,014
or if you wait ten
minutes, you can have
479
00:20:39,114 --> 00:20:40,666
all the brains you can eat.
480
00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:41,914
I want both.
481
00:20:43,420 --> 00:20:48,420
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
482
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:30,732
Shh!