1 00:01:03,133 --> 00:01:04,633 D'oh! 2 00:01:13,937 --> 00:01:16,937 ♪ The Simpsons 24x09 ♪ Homer Goes to Prep School Original Air Date on January 6, 2013 3 00:01:16,979 --> 00:01:19,979 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 4 00:01:22,857 --> 00:01:25,492 Learn Zone? Mom, you said we were going someplace fun. 5 00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:27,913 Yeah, Mom, you promised! 6 00:01:27,958 --> 00:01:30,305 Homer, I told you, don't call me "Mom." 7 00:01:30,405 --> 00:01:31,824 Sorry, Mrs. Simpson. 8 00:01:40,765 --> 00:01:41,721 Ooh! 9 00:01:41,748 --> 00:01:43,790 This isn't a learn zone. 10 00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:45,645 Darn it, it's a fun place! 11 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:46,992 - Yay! - Yay! 12 00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:52,102 For maximum safety, all children must wear 13 00:01:52,137 --> 00:01:54,087 anti-kidnapping bracelets. 14 00:01:55,340 --> 00:01:58,108 Is this a kid you'd pay ransom for? 15 00:01:58,143 --> 00:02:00,377 Dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail? 16 00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:01,879 I don't know. Feed it to the dog? 17 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,080 You'd have to wrap cheese around it. 18 00:02:03,114 --> 00:02:05,944 Don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog! 19 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,911 Whoa! 20 00:02:17,946 --> 00:02:19,596 Where do they go? 21 00:02:19,732 --> 00:02:20,749 Whoa! 22 00:02:22,329 --> 00:02:24,304 Welcome to the Mormon Church, 23 00:02:24,351 --> 00:02:26,436 America's most respectable cult. 24 00:02:27,655 --> 00:02:29,413 Keep an eye on the kids, Homer. 25 00:02:29,431 --> 00:02:31,398 Can I keep an eye on that kid? 26 00:02:32,664 --> 00:02:33,964 He's fabulous. 27 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,304 Bart and Lisa. 28 00:02:35,350 --> 00:02:38,085 Oh! It's always my kids. 29 00:02:38,132 --> 00:02:39,816 Yay! 30 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,252 Where'd they go? 31 00:02:42,286 --> 00:02:44,330 Oh. Hmm. 32 00:02:45,823 --> 00:02:47,418 Almost. 33 00:02:47,926 --> 00:02:49,783 Holy moley. 34 00:02:49,864 --> 00:02:51,631 What the...?! 35 00:02:52,599 --> 00:02:54,455 Oh, it's hopeless! 36 00:02:54,490 --> 00:02:55,579 What's hopeless? 37 00:02:55,612 --> 00:02:57,312 Who the hell are you? 38 00:02:59,568 --> 00:03:01,170 Dad, come up, come up! Pretty, pretty please! 39 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,548 Absolutely not! 40 00:03:02,596 --> 00:03:05,283 My adult frame is simply too large. 41 00:03:05,304 --> 00:03:07,260 - Come on, Dad! - No! Never! 42 00:03:07,297 --> 00:03:08,997 - Come on, Dad! - Fine. Here I come. 43 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,365 Crawling. 44 00:03:11,449 --> 00:03:13,433 So... painful. 45 00:03:14,915 --> 00:03:16,006 Duck walk. 46 00:03:16,074 --> 00:03:18,525 Infinitely worse. Ooh! 47 00:03:21,264 --> 00:03:23,703 Only wanted... to be fun. 48 00:03:23,750 --> 00:03:24,884 Shh, shh, shh. 49 00:03:24,909 --> 00:03:27,327 Soon you'll know peace. 50 00:03:33,471 --> 00:03:34,788 I made it, kids! 51 00:03:34,822 --> 00:03:38,625 I am king of Learnington Castle! 52 00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:42,372 - We tricked you. - Eat Nerf, Homeboy! 53 00:03:42,397 --> 00:03:46,383 Real... mature...! 54 00:03:47,719 --> 00:03:49,486 Yay! 55 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,756 Ralphie! Shoes! 56 00:03:53,970 --> 00:03:55,722 Huh? Hmm. 57 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,477 What cool kid thing's in here? 58 00:03:57,512 --> 00:03:59,925 No kids. That's what's cool. 59 00:04:04,322 --> 00:04:06,748 I have a phone. It's very tiny. 60 00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:08,874 Ain't no shame in being poor, boy. 61 00:04:08,911 --> 00:04:11,791 What's pitiful is if you is ignorant. 62 00:04:12,269 --> 00:04:14,842 Is these mice pillows here for the taking? 63 00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,441 I hate working here. 64 00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:17,661 At least at Krustyburger, 65 00:04:17,682 --> 00:04:19,985 you could burn yourself and go home. 66 00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:24,354 Unauthorized child departure. 67 00:04:24,399 --> 00:04:26,149 Lockdown mode initiated. 68 00:04:32,082 --> 00:04:34,241 Another stupid kid got out. 69 00:04:34,385 --> 00:04:36,039 I can't tell the manager. 70 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,344 I am the manager. Duh! 71 00:04:39,006 --> 00:04:40,644 We're locked in! 72 00:04:42,177 --> 00:04:44,995 These lasers are nothing more than colored lights! 73 00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:47,187 Calm down, everyone. Calm down. 74 00:04:47,228 --> 00:04:49,448 I'm sure they'll have us out of here soon. 75 00:04:49,509 --> 00:04:51,376 Until then, why don't we bond 76 00:04:51,399 --> 00:04:54,267 by sharing our childbirth experiences. 77 00:04:54,613 --> 00:04:56,101 The nurses were so great. 78 00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:58,213 My husband held my hand the whole time. 79 00:04:58,276 --> 00:05:00,731 See? All you need to get through a crisis 80 00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:02,871 is a little friendly conversation. 81 00:05:02,904 --> 00:05:05,190 Bet you the dads are doing the same thing. 82 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:11,368 The sneeze guard is broken! 83 00:05:11,402 --> 00:05:13,370 There is no law! 84 00:05:13,404 --> 00:05:15,772 Oh, I just came here to pick up my daughter. 85 00:05:15,807 --> 00:05:17,758 But now I'm gonna kill you all! 86 00:05:19,494 --> 00:05:21,094 Don't forget your jacket, sweetie. 87 00:05:25,566 --> 00:05:27,134 Get out of there, you! 88 00:05:27,168 --> 00:05:28,618 Never! 89 00:05:30,344 --> 00:05:32,728 Mmm. Butter. 90 00:05:42,052 --> 00:05:43,519 Round and round. 91 00:05:43,553 --> 00:05:45,154 Round and round. 92 00:05:46,396 --> 00:05:48,714 Freedom! 93 00:05:50,482 --> 00:05:52,269 Let's get out of here! Come on! 94 00:05:56,405 --> 00:05:59,093 Apes. Deep down, we're all savage apes. 95 00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:01,071 Leave your body, Homer. 96 00:06:03,107 --> 00:06:04,858 What the hell was that? 97 00:06:06,643 --> 00:06:09,442 You've been through a traumatic experience. 98 00:06:09,513 --> 00:06:11,641 Are you sure you want to go to work today? 99 00:06:11,681 --> 00:06:13,781 Well, I've taken eight months off. 100 00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:16,354 It's time to get back on the horse. 101 00:06:21,391 --> 00:06:23,626 Ho, ho, ho. 102 00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:26,751 Ho, ho, ho. 103 00:06:26,885 --> 00:06:29,240 Hey, neighbor, your welcome mat's looking a little dusty. 104 00:06:29,282 --> 00:06:31,282 Mind if I come over and sweeten your greetin'. 105 00:06:31,318 --> 00:06:33,014 Sweeten your greetin'! 106 00:06:33,070 --> 00:06:34,762 Sweeten your greetin'. 107 00:06:34,787 --> 00:06:36,622 Three Neds are better than one! 108 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,596 I hate to be a nag, but this is my real head. 109 00:06:51,905 --> 00:06:55,741 I guess, despite all our so-called civilization, 110 00:06:55,775 --> 00:06:57,876 anarchy lurks around every corner, 111 00:06:57,911 --> 00:06:59,979 like a racially-diverse street gang 112 00:07:00,013 --> 00:07:02,014 on a network cop show. 113 00:07:02,048 --> 00:07:06,218 My friend, you just experienced W.R.O.L. firsthand. 114 00:07:06,252 --> 00:07:08,020 Hey, hey, read the sign, pal, no acronyms. 115 00:07:08,054 --> 00:07:09,321 You see? 116 00:07:09,356 --> 00:07:11,523 And that goes for the rest of youse, too! 117 00:07:11,558 --> 00:07:12,725 Okay, okay. 118 00:07:12,759 --> 00:07:15,327 Hey, in this bar, we say "Old Kinderhook!" 119 00:07:15,362 --> 00:07:17,229 What's W.R.O.L.? 120 00:07:17,263 --> 00:07:19,164 It means "Without the Rule of Law." 121 00:07:19,199 --> 00:07:22,634 Anarchy. The end of civilization. 122 00:07:22,669 --> 00:07:25,170 Coming soon to an America near you. 123 00:07:25,205 --> 00:07:26,772 America can't collapse! 124 00:07:26,806 --> 00:07:29,208 We're as powerful as ancient Rome! 125 00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:31,844 Ah, take a look at this. 126 00:07:31,878 --> 00:07:33,228 The modern world-- 127 00:07:33,263 --> 00:07:35,698 an inexorable march of progress. 128 00:07:35,732 --> 00:07:36,865 Sweet. 129 00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:38,033 Or is it? 130 00:07:39,369 --> 00:07:40,803 We're slaves to the system. 131 00:07:40,837 --> 00:07:43,272 Close the supermarket, and we starve. 132 00:07:43,306 --> 00:07:45,874 Cut off the tap, we drink our cat's blood. 133 00:07:54,551 --> 00:07:57,836 Who will survive in this new world? 134 00:07:57,871 --> 00:08:01,740 The man who is prepared. 135 00:08:12,453 --> 00:08:13,623 Oh, my God! 136 00:08:13,654 --> 00:08:15,584 This unsourced, undated video 137 00:08:15,607 --> 00:08:17,543 has convinced me beyond any doubt! 138 00:08:17,624 --> 00:08:22,126 And I'm the guy you want to know when the stuff hits the fan. 139 00:08:22,163 --> 00:08:24,231 Hey, man, no need to almost swear. 140 00:08:24,388 --> 00:08:26,001 Come with me. 141 00:08:26,921 --> 00:08:28,187 Well, Homer's gone. 142 00:08:28,206 --> 00:08:31,375 Let's all go into our suspended state till he gets back. 143 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:41,115 Homer, meet the Springfield Preppers. 144 00:08:41,149 --> 00:08:43,958 Preppies? Oh, I hate you guys! 145 00:08:44,015 --> 00:08:46,664 Always partying on deck with your Docksiders 146 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,297 while us townies are scrubbing the bilge! 147 00:08:49,331 --> 00:08:50,965 Not preppies. Preppers. 148 00:08:51,124 --> 00:08:53,299 But I like your hatred. 149 00:08:53,328 --> 00:08:54,844 It's based on nothing. 150 00:08:54,890 --> 00:08:56,146 That's super. 151 00:08:56,173 --> 00:09:00,125 Now, Homer, what would you do in the case of an E.M.P.? 152 00:09:01,267 --> 00:09:04,229 Electromagnetic pulse. 153 00:09:05,494 --> 00:09:06,664 A burst of radiation 154 00:09:06,701 --> 00:09:09,167 that knocks out every electrical system in the country. 155 00:09:09,225 --> 00:09:10,463 I'd slash my wrists. 156 00:09:10,501 --> 00:09:12,544 But how, without my electric knife?! 157 00:09:12,579 --> 00:09:15,063 There is an alternative to suicide. 158 00:09:15,098 --> 00:09:16,965 Mm. I can't conceive of any. 159 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,335 We can teach you the skills you need to survive any crisis. 160 00:09:20,370 --> 00:09:21,133 Ooh. 161 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,277 All we ask is 162 00:09:22,302 --> 00:09:24,202 that you keep your prepping secret. 163 00:09:24,307 --> 00:09:27,176 We won't have room for all the unprepared. 164 00:09:27,210 --> 00:09:30,646 Don't worry. I'm very good at keeping secrets. 165 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,648 "Impending doom." 166 00:09:32,682 --> 00:09:34,100 What you reading, Dad? 167 00:09:35,018 --> 00:09:36,462 Honey, everything's fine. 168 00:09:36,486 --> 00:09:38,079 There's nothing to worry about. 169 00:09:38,135 --> 00:09:39,621 When grown-ups say that, 170 00:09:39,655 --> 00:09:41,889 it means there is something to worry about. 171 00:09:41,962 --> 00:09:43,662 Just go play your saxophone. 172 00:09:43,703 --> 00:09:45,137 While you can. 173 00:09:45,177 --> 00:09:46,210 What does that mean? 174 00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:48,363 Secrets? I have no secrets! 175 00:09:48,398 --> 00:09:50,232 Just enjoy this golden time 176 00:09:50,266 --> 00:09:53,035 you will soon cling desperately to the memory of. 177 00:09:53,069 --> 00:09:55,370 Smell some bread! 178 00:09:56,406 --> 00:09:58,373 When things go south, 179 00:09:58,408 --> 00:10:02,377 the sheeple will clean out every supermarket in town. 180 00:10:02,412 --> 00:10:03,779 Typical sheeple. 181 00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:07,499 Uh... are you eating my grain? 182 00:10:07,534 --> 00:10:09,301 Maybe. 183 00:10:09,335 --> 00:10:11,870 That was a five-pound bag! 184 00:10:11,905 --> 00:10:13,572 Yeah, but I'll go home, weigh myself, 185 00:10:13,606 --> 00:10:15,507 and I'll have gained six pounds. 186 00:10:15,542 --> 00:10:16,708 What's that about? 187 00:10:16,743 --> 00:10:18,510 ♪ Prep, prep, prep. 188 00:10:19,846 --> 00:10:22,196 Hey, Dad, are we going camping? 189 00:10:22,258 --> 00:10:25,126 I guess an open garage isn't the best hiding place. 190 00:10:25,149 --> 00:10:26,863 What's up? Going crazy again? 191 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,587 I wish. 192 00:10:28,621 --> 00:10:30,856 Son, the best way to explain this is 193 00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:33,992 to show you some age-inappropriate movies. 194 00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:42,501 So, what have you learned so far 195 00:10:42,535 --> 00:10:45,437 from our post-apocalyptic movie marathon? 196 00:10:45,471 --> 00:10:48,674 Guys who call themselves Preacher or Deacon are very bad. 197 00:10:48,708 --> 00:10:51,276 Water is money, unless gasoline is money. 198 00:10:51,311 --> 00:10:53,478 And even though lots of things are razor-sharp, 199 00:10:53,513 --> 00:10:54,713 no one ever shaves. 200 00:10:54,747 --> 00:10:57,015 Hollywood has taught you well, my son. 201 00:10:57,050 --> 00:10:59,718 Now let's push play. 202 00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:04,606 Now the Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills 203 00:11:04,641 --> 00:11:08,544 will teach you the true meaning of cold! 204 00:11:12,599 --> 00:11:15,367 I have come from a place where the land is warm, 205 00:11:15,401 --> 00:11:19,504 and the only ice is made by machines called... 206 00:11:19,539 --> 00:11:21,974 fridge-ra-torrs. 207 00:11:22,008 --> 00:11:26,111 Fridge-ra-torrs! Fridge-ra-torrs! 208 00:11:26,145 --> 00:11:27,779 Fridge-ra-torrs! 209 00:11:28,051 --> 00:11:29,845 Aren't they just saying "refrigerator"? 210 00:11:29,869 --> 00:11:33,338 Do not question the wisdom of Tom Skerritt. 211 00:11:34,087 --> 00:11:35,362 Here it is, Homer. 212 00:11:35,402 --> 00:11:37,770 The Springfield Preppers' top secret Bug-Out Retreat. 213 00:11:37,799 --> 00:11:40,268 Wow! Your end of the world 214 00:11:40,318 --> 00:11:42,786 is better than my during the world. 215 00:11:42,898 --> 00:11:45,217 Homer, we all know America's collapse 216 00:11:45,242 --> 00:11:46,623 is about three months away. 217 00:11:46,659 --> 00:11:48,476 Six weeks at most. 218 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,202 There's always one alarmist. 219 00:11:50,356 --> 00:11:51,938 Anyway, when the Four Horsemen ride, 220 00:11:52,005 --> 00:11:54,655 we want you and your collaterals right here with us. 221 00:11:54,701 --> 00:11:55,735 Aw. 222 00:11:55,818 --> 00:11:58,576 Uh, listen, I've got to know-- 223 00:11:58,625 --> 00:11:59,912 you're not just being nice to me 224 00:11:59,946 --> 00:12:02,781 because in a pinch you could make candles from my fat? 225 00:12:02,815 --> 00:12:04,149 Well, that is a big part of it. 226 00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:06,318 It's okay. I know what I am. 227 00:12:08,488 --> 00:12:09,788 Hmm? 228 00:12:09,822 --> 00:12:12,376 I can't find all our cereal crackers, 229 00:12:12,413 --> 00:12:14,901 juice boxes, the butter brush... 230 00:12:14,933 --> 00:12:18,778 Um... a lot of that stuff must've got lost in the move. 231 00:12:18,831 --> 00:12:20,565 What move? We haven't moved. 232 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,234 What's going on? 233 00:12:22,268 --> 00:12:26,071 Oh! I want to tell you, but I promised to keep it a secret. 234 00:12:26,105 --> 00:12:28,868 You can't have secrets from your wife! 235 00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:32,158 It's very late in the marriage to tell me that. 236 00:12:32,211 --> 00:12:35,380 I've hidden all our supplies behind a fake wall. 237 00:12:35,415 --> 00:12:38,083 I thought the basement looked cleaner. 238 00:12:38,117 --> 00:12:40,218 See? These are our bug-out bags. 239 00:12:40,253 --> 00:12:42,654 In here is everything we need to survive. 240 00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:43,989 Survive what? 241 00:12:44,023 --> 00:12:46,404 The looming kablooey. 242 00:12:46,435 --> 00:12:49,340 It's reassuring to see you're aware of the future, 243 00:12:49,362 --> 00:12:52,303 but this is all a little... creepy. 244 00:12:52,328 --> 00:12:53,295 Creepy?! 245 00:12:53,323 --> 00:12:55,434 Marge, the apocalypse is coming. 246 00:12:55,468 --> 00:12:58,742 Maybe not tomorrow, maybe never, but it's coming. 247 00:12:58,797 --> 00:13:00,410 And soon. 248 00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:02,426 I'm going to bed. 249 00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:08,152 There's no handle on this side! 250 00:13:09,248 --> 00:13:11,833 The one thing I couldn't prepare for. 251 00:13:15,432 --> 00:13:17,100 Oh, these here are my snack chips. 252 00:13:17,151 --> 00:13:19,847 Your cheese puffs. Those are doodles. 253 00:13:19,908 --> 00:13:22,208 I will eat anything orange except an orange. 254 00:13:25,186 --> 00:13:27,487 And that's how you deliver a baby calf 255 00:13:27,527 --> 00:13:30,329 with a bathroom plunger. Mm-hmm. 256 00:13:37,924 --> 00:13:39,125 An E.M.P.?! 257 00:13:39,156 --> 00:13:40,469 You know what that means! 258 00:13:40,501 --> 00:13:42,486 Hand scissors. 259 00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:56,174 Oh. 260 00:14:18,298 --> 00:14:21,923 All electronics in Springfield have been disabled. 261 00:14:21,947 --> 00:14:24,582 Even the musical greeting cards. 262 00:14:26,182 --> 00:14:28,663 This is it. Bug-out time. 263 00:14:28,724 --> 00:14:31,963 Everyone but us is doomed. 264 00:14:32,051 --> 00:14:34,432 I am so jazzed. 265 00:14:36,010 --> 00:14:37,837 Mr. Mayor, what's your administration doing 266 00:14:37,868 --> 00:14:39,356 to ensure there's no panic? 267 00:14:39,414 --> 00:14:41,765 I don't know. What is your administration doing? 268 00:14:41,987 --> 00:14:43,075 There you have it. 269 00:14:43,141 --> 00:14:45,407 A town without rules, without leadership, 270 00:14:45,507 --> 00:14:46,695 without television. 271 00:14:46,795 --> 00:14:49,530 This is Kent Brockman, talking to himself. 272 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,800 Marge, this is it, TEOTWAWKI! 273 00:14:52,834 --> 00:14:55,469 "The end of the world as we know it"? 274 00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:56,934 Uh-huh. Where's the kids? 275 00:14:56,958 --> 00:14:58,759 Lisa and Maggie are downstairs, 276 00:14:58,780 --> 00:15:01,015 and Bart's in his room with Milhouse. 277 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:02,870 Boy, get in the car, 278 00:15:02,907 --> 00:15:04,801 and say good-bye to your best friend forever. 279 00:15:04,855 --> 00:15:06,189 Bye forever, Milhouse. 280 00:15:06,230 --> 00:15:07,396 See you, Bart. 281 00:15:08,994 --> 00:15:10,194 Mmm. 282 00:15:10,229 --> 00:15:11,662 This is my daughter. 283 00:15:11,697 --> 00:15:14,866 She brings the gift of music to the new world. 284 00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:17,969 - Is that sax alto or baritone? - Baritone. 285 00:15:18,003 --> 00:15:20,872 This is gonna be a long apocalypse. 286 00:15:20,906 --> 00:15:22,306 Ay, caramba! 287 00:15:22,341 --> 00:15:23,808 Ay, caramba indeed. 288 00:15:23,842 --> 00:15:26,155 Dad, how are we supposed to spend the rest of our lives here? 289 00:15:26,184 --> 00:15:27,484 We're already bored. 290 00:15:27,537 --> 00:15:29,740 Here's something to pass the endless time. 291 00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:31,232 Write down which celebrities 292 00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,826 were rumored to be gay for future generations. 293 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,635 Yes, sir. 294 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,327 Society will not 295 00:15:37,345 --> 00:15:39,546 have to start from square one. 296 00:15:43,078 --> 00:15:45,558 Homie, I never thought we'd turn our backs 297 00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:48,384 on our loved ones at the first hint of trouble. 298 00:15:48,434 --> 00:15:51,135 Marge, when I started prepping for the end of the world, 299 00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:52,904 everyone laughed at me. 300 00:15:52,938 --> 00:15:54,272 No one was laughing. 301 00:15:54,306 --> 00:15:55,840 You kept it a secret! 302 00:15:55,874 --> 00:15:57,229 Well, just because I imagined it, 303 00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,811 doesn't make it any less true. 304 00:15:59,077 --> 00:16:01,558 And now all those people are on their own. 305 00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:03,915 How can you call yourself a Christian? 306 00:16:03,949 --> 00:16:07,251 If Jesus had a gun, he'd be alive today. 307 00:16:07,286 --> 00:16:08,870 Homer Simpson! 308 00:16:08,904 --> 00:16:11,089 When I fell in love with you, 309 00:16:11,123 --> 00:16:14,609 it was because of your big heart and your good looks. 310 00:16:14,643 --> 00:16:17,745 But some day, those good looks are gonna fade. 311 00:16:17,780 --> 00:16:19,213 What?! 312 00:16:20,549 --> 00:16:21,883 Soon we'll be approached 313 00:16:21,917 --> 00:16:24,385 by people who haven't prepared. 314 00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:26,354 Now, do not look at their faces. 315 00:16:26,388 --> 00:16:28,556 That can trigger feelings and emotions, 316 00:16:28,590 --> 00:16:31,209 which have no place 317 00:16:31,243 --> 00:16:35,046 in Civilization 2.0: Rise of the Weirdos. 318 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,048 I may have solved that problem. 319 00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:38,783 This rifle scope I modified 320 00:16:38,817 --> 00:16:42,787 makes any human face look dangerous and threatening. 321 00:16:46,358 --> 00:16:47,892 Boom. 322 00:16:47,926 --> 00:16:49,627 Why do we have to shoot them at all? 323 00:16:49,661 --> 00:16:51,762 Are you that good with a knife? 324 00:16:51,797 --> 00:16:55,233 No! I want to help the people who didn't prepare. 325 00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:57,568 Boom. Boom. 326 00:16:57,603 --> 00:16:59,570 - Boom. - What'd you shoot me for? 327 00:16:59,605 --> 00:17:02,140 You were thinking I'd gone mad with power, weren't you?! 328 00:17:02,174 --> 00:17:03,867 I wasn't, but I am now. 329 00:17:03,955 --> 00:17:05,189 Boom-boom- boom-boom-boom. 330 00:17:15,488 --> 00:17:16,919 Oh, God, now what? 331 00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,648 Every time you wake us up early in the morning, 332 00:17:19,683 --> 00:17:22,559 it's either church or we have to change our identities. 333 00:17:22,618 --> 00:17:25,253 Don't be silly, Mary Ellen. 334 00:17:25,275 --> 00:17:26,776 Now we're going to leave this place. 335 00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:27,791 I'm sorry, Bart. 336 00:17:27,817 --> 00:17:29,917 I know you've made a bug-out camp girlfriend. 337 00:17:29,942 --> 00:17:31,182 I've got to be honest with you. 338 00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:33,578 It was just a bag of rice I drew a face on. 339 00:17:33,593 --> 00:17:34,660 White rice or brown? 340 00:17:34,675 --> 00:17:35,492 I never noticed. 341 00:17:35,514 --> 00:17:36,547 Good boy. 342 00:17:37,213 --> 00:17:38,475 So we'll take these supplies 343 00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,931 back to Springfield where they're needed most. 344 00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:43,852 You're a good man, Homer Simpson. 345 00:17:48,137 --> 00:17:50,312 You said you cut the wires to the alarm. 346 00:17:50,358 --> 00:17:52,799 Hmm, I cut the wires to something. 347 00:18:03,031 --> 00:18:05,046 Okay everybody, keep your eyes peeled 348 00:18:05,071 --> 00:18:09,023 for an unlit mile post marked "23" or "36" or something. 349 00:18:09,041 --> 00:18:10,358 If we miss it, we're dead. 350 00:18:10,376 --> 00:18:12,460 Dad, there are lights following us. 351 00:18:12,495 --> 00:18:15,130 How can that be? I took every last can of gas. 352 00:18:22,905 --> 00:18:25,229 Now, everyone relax and pretend we're about to be hit 353 00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:26,679 by a soft brick wall. 354 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,557 Out of our way, corn! 355 00:18:29,582 --> 00:18:31,226 The starving people of Springfield 356 00:18:31,251 --> 00:18:33,950 are desperately in need of our delivery of canned corn, 357 00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:37,585 corn flakes and flash frozen corn niblets! 358 00:18:47,574 --> 00:18:49,118 I'm proud of you. 359 00:18:49,143 --> 00:18:52,678 Society may have crumbled, but our decency hasn't. 360 00:18:52,868 --> 00:18:55,529 Now to save these sorry souls from a life of anarchy, 361 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,914 starvation and having sex for procreation. 362 00:19:00,987 --> 00:19:02,152 Huh? 363 00:19:07,173 --> 00:19:08,679 Oh, everything's normal. 364 00:19:08,719 --> 00:19:11,120 The world didn't end! 365 00:19:11,142 --> 00:19:14,445 Dad, you said people would be drinking each other's blood. 366 00:19:14,479 --> 00:19:18,677 You got to watch a VHS copy of Red Dawn 13 times! 367 00:19:18,797 --> 00:19:20,238 Stop complaining! 368 00:19:20,318 --> 00:19:21,852 What happened with the E.M.P.? 369 00:19:21,887 --> 00:19:24,185 Only Springfield lost power, 370 00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:26,904 you see, and after a few days, it came back. 371 00:19:26,953 --> 00:19:29,471 Maybe a little bit brighter. 372 00:19:29,525 --> 00:19:31,693 And the spirit of neighborly cooperation broke out 373 00:19:31,746 --> 00:19:34,682 as if all the weird, angry people had left. 374 00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,699 Then society didn't crumble? 375 00:19:36,794 --> 00:19:38,676 The zoo animals weren't eaten? 376 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,521 No-- well, a couple. 377 00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:44,692 This non-disaster is a catastrophe! 378 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:47,828 Are you really so disappointed the world didn't end, 379 00:19:47,862 --> 00:19:49,964 just so you could be proven right? 380 00:19:49,998 --> 00:19:51,098 No, no. 381 00:19:51,132 --> 00:19:53,770 It's just that, in the new world, 382 00:19:53,982 --> 00:19:55,751 I would have been a big shot. 383 00:19:55,799 --> 00:19:57,066 Well, not for long. 384 00:19:57,144 --> 00:19:58,650 Me and the others were planning 385 00:19:58,681 --> 00:20:01,094 to overthrow you and seal you in a cave. 386 00:20:01,175 --> 00:20:03,350 Yeah, but what you didn't know 387 00:20:03,378 --> 00:20:05,879 was I was gonna poison all your drinking water. 388 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:09,149 Which is why I'm only drinking my own urine. 389 00:20:11,202 --> 00:20:14,204 Guys, can't you see that even an imperfect society 390 00:20:14,239 --> 00:20:17,241 is better than the savagery of creating a new one? 391 00:20:17,275 --> 00:20:19,576 I for one am glad we're stuck with civilization, 392 00:20:19,611 --> 00:20:23,847 and I think we will be for a long, long time. 393 00:20:33,562 --> 00:20:34,933 I'm hungry. 394 00:20:34,958 --> 00:20:36,926 Look, you can have potato chips now, 395 00:20:36,927 --> 00:20:39,014 or if you wait ten minutes, you can have 396 00:20:39,114 --> 00:20:40,666 all the brains you can eat. 397 00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:41,914 I want both. 398 00:20:43,420 --> 00:20:48,420 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 399 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:30,732 Shh!