1 00:00:02,059 --> 00:00:04,163 Tessa: Ryan Shay hadn't taken the news well. 2 00:00:04,194 --> 00:00:05,406 Since learning of his adoption, 3 00:00:05,414 --> 00:00:08,058 he'd moved into Lisa's ex-boyfriend Malik's house. 4 00:00:08,097 --> 00:00:09,747 There was nothing left to do but pray. 5 00:00:09,794 --> 00:00:11,319 Okay, Lord, 6 00:00:11,905 --> 00:00:13,602 let's try this again. 7 00:00:14,338 --> 00:00:16,996 We are thankful for the food we are about to receive. 8 00:00:16,997 --> 00:00:19,148 - Very thankful. - But we need more, Lord. 9 00:00:20,446 --> 00:00:23,473 We need Ryan to forgive us for keeping his adoption secret. 10 00:00:24,364 --> 00:00:27,031 We need him to forgive us, and to come home. 11 00:00:29,064 --> 00:00:29,971 And until then, 12 00:00:29,972 --> 00:00:34,581 if you saw fit to send us something other than venison, it would be very much appreciated. 13 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,909 - It's pretty heavy, Lord. Sheila: Every night, 14 00:00:37,029 --> 00:00:39,881 venison. Every night until he comes home. Do you hear me? 15 00:00:39,912 --> 00:00:42,360 - No complaints here. His favorite is my favorite. - I have gout. 16 00:00:42,547 --> 00:00:44,651 Even with the medication, they're saying I could lose a toe. 17 00:00:44,659 --> 00:00:47,607 - A toe?! I lost a son! - Settle, Sheila! Settle! 18 00:00:47,901 --> 00:00:50,129 Settle down. Here's your tincture. 19 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,734 - What? - It is a soothing combination 20 00:00:55,735 --> 00:00:58,056 of camomile, lemon balm and grain alcohol. 21 00:00:58,057 --> 00:00:59,699 - Little more, okay? - Okay. 22 00:01:00,136 --> 00:01:02,170 A little more, Fred. 23 00:01:02,209 --> 00:01:04,954 Sh-Sh-Sheila. 24 00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:08,637 I don't know why I'm so nervous. I aced the S.A.T.s. 25 00:01:09,216 --> 00:01:10,788 750 verbal. 26 00:01:11,085 --> 00:01:13,197 Dalia's real gifted when it comes to testing. 27 00:01:13,213 --> 00:01:15,966 I never sweat it, 'cause homegirl's always off the charts. 28 00:01:16,021 --> 00:01:19,063 Did you know when she was born, she was in the 95th percentile 29 00:01:19,183 --> 00:01:20,353 for length. 30 00:01:21,362 --> 00:01:24,342 Wow. Length. That is the hardest one to nail. 31 00:01:26,054 --> 00:01:27,196 Ah ah! 32 00:01:27,235 --> 00:01:30,457 Is that a I'm-glad-it's-over smile, or an I'm-glad-it's-over-and-I-nailed-it smile? 33 00:01:30,677 --> 00:01:32,225 - I feel pretty good about it. - Yes you do! 34 00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,242 Give it! Come here. That's my girl. Mwah. 35 00:01:34,243 --> 00:01:35,838 Mommy, did you get my text? 36 00:01:35,839 --> 00:01:38,107 - Yes, did you see my reply? - Wait... you... you... 37 00:01:38,420 --> 00:01:41,133 - you texted her during the test? - It's okay, Daddy Altman. 38 00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,831 I coloured in all the bubbles really fast, so I was bored. 39 00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:46,036 - You finished early? - I have a strategy. 40 00:01:46,037 --> 00:01:48,759 - What strategy? - Finishing early. 41 00:01:49,658 --> 00:01:51,050 Tessa, let's celebrate. Ice cream. 42 00:01:51,051 --> 00:01:54,265 Any carton in the store. You pick. We'll make cones at home. You want to? 43 00:01:54,296 --> 00:01:56,652 Mommy, what are we gonna do to celebrate me? 44 00:01:56,687 --> 00:01:59,689 Um, how about we put a new S.A.T. sound system 45 00:01:59,723 --> 00:02:01,791 in your new P.S.A.T. car? 46 00:02:01,825 --> 00:02:03,326 She got a P.S.A.T. car? 47 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:04,527 She's kidding. 48 00:02:04,561 --> 00:02:06,195 - I'm not kidding. - You're not kidding? 49 00:02:06,229 --> 00:02:07,964 How well might Dalia have done on the P.S.A.Ts 50 00:02:07,998 --> 00:02:09,365 to warrant a brand-new car? 51 00:02:09,399 --> 00:02:10,866 Real well. How well? 52 00:02:10,901 --> 00:02:13,803 Like top 10 percentile? Top 20? 53 00:02:13,837 --> 00:02:17,606 I'm proud to say Dalia was definitely in a percentile. 54 00:02:17,841 --> 00:02:19,356 The average S.I. score is 141. 55 00:02:19,391 --> 00:02:21,009 Did Dalia do better or worse than average? 56 00:02:21,044 --> 00:02:23,110 Tessa, maybe you should just focus on your own score. 57 00:02:23,145 --> 00:02:24,626 On the P.S.A.Ts? 186. 58 00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:28,302 That's in the top ten percentile, and that's very good. 59 00:02:28,574 --> 00:02:30,743 (Clicks tongue) I got a card. 60 00:02:30,779 --> 00:02:32,431 Mommy, I want to go home. 61 00:02:32,467 --> 00:02:34,051 What about the sound system? 62 00:02:34,086 --> 00:02:37,151 I'm not in the mood for sound anymore. 63 00:02:37,186 --> 00:02:40,124 That look meant someone was gonna be making an apology, 64 00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:43,203 and that someone was me. 65 00:02:43,629 --> 00:02:45,764 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne - - www.addic7ed.com - 66 00:02:45,798 --> 00:02:49,602 [Alih Jay] ♪ Last night I had a pleasant nightmare ♪ 67 00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:52,705 2x08 Black Thai 68 00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:55,306 Desperate times call for desperate measures... 69 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:56,641 Howdy. 70 00:02:56,855 --> 00:02:58,957 And the Shays were desperate to get Ryan back. 71 00:02:58,991 --> 00:03:00,525 You talking to me? 72 00:03:00,559 --> 00:03:04,429 I don't see anybody else around here, cowboy. 73 00:03:04,463 --> 00:03:06,431 Really? Because you hung up on me 74 00:03:06,465 --> 00:03:08,666 every time I tried to call you since our breakup. 75 00:03:08,701 --> 00:03:11,836 And a woman's allowed to change her mind, isn't she? 76 00:03:11,870 --> 00:03:14,172 Because I have. 77 00:03:14,206 --> 00:03:16,307 In fact, that's why I'm here. 78 00:03:16,342 --> 00:03:18,676 I wanted to talk about us getting back together. 79 00:03:18,711 --> 00:03:20,211 - Really? - Really. 80 00:03:20,246 --> 00:03:22,914 (Deepened voice) Don't fight. Keep that on. 81 00:03:22,948 --> 00:03:24,382 Hold his hand. I got it. 82 00:03:24,416 --> 00:03:26,217 (Tape crackling) 83 00:03:26,252 --> 00:03:29,787 Get in! Come on! 84 00:03:29,822 --> 00:03:31,155 Oh! 85 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:36,728 (Engine starts) 86 00:03:39,398 --> 00:03:42,800 Wait! 87 00:03:42,835 --> 00:03:44,769 Meanwhile, the Werners' baby had been rejected 88 00:03:44,803 --> 00:03:46,471 from his first-picked preschool, 89 00:03:46,505 --> 00:03:49,207 so they decided to consult a specialist. 90 00:03:49,241 --> 00:03:52,110 We heard you're the best, that you've helped others. 91 00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:55,113 It's true. I tutor talented toddlers, 92 00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:57,148 and every one of them goes on to be accepted 93 00:03:57,182 --> 00:03:59,717 into a highly competitive day care program. 94 00:03:59,752 --> 00:04:01,552 - So you'll help us? - I've gotta be frank with you. 95 00:04:01,587 --> 00:04:03,655 Opus is getting a late start. 96 00:04:03,689 --> 00:04:06,991 He has zero community service, no political affiliations, 97 00:04:07,026 --> 00:04:08,893 he's socially unaware. 98 00:04:08,927 --> 00:04:11,896 He doesn't even wear special cause bracelets. 99 00:04:11,930 --> 00:04:13,665 Oh, that's our fault. We were led to believe 100 00:04:13,699 --> 00:04:15,667 that the special cause bracelet trend was over. 101 00:04:15,701 --> 00:04:17,702 It's never over. 102 00:04:17,736 --> 00:04:20,471 Don't punish the boy for his parents' sins. 103 00:04:20,506 --> 00:04:21,739 You're his only hope. 104 00:04:21,774 --> 00:04:23,608 Well, then he's hopeless, I'm afraid. 105 00:04:23,642 --> 00:04:26,611 You see, I'm not taking on any new clients at this time. 106 00:04:26,645 --> 00:04:27,979 You don't get it. (Inhales deeply) 107 00:04:28,013 --> 00:04:29,981 Jill, show him. There's a picture. Show him. 108 00:04:30,015 --> 00:04:32,483 That won't be necessary. I'm sure that he's as... 109 00:04:32,518 --> 00:04:34,018 (Gasps) 110 00:04:34,053 --> 00:04:36,154 Oh, the face. 111 00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:39,424 Look at that little face-y face face. 112 00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:40,792 (Sighs) 113 00:04:40,826 --> 00:04:42,260 Okay. 114 00:04:42,294 --> 00:04:43,528 I will do it... 115 00:04:43,562 --> 00:04:44,629 Oh! 116 00:04:44,663 --> 00:04:46,364 On one condition... 117 00:04:46,398 --> 00:04:48,700 you must not interfere in any way. 118 00:04:48,734 --> 00:04:50,601 My methods will seem unconventional 119 00:04:50,636 --> 00:04:52,970 because they are unconventional. 120 00:04:53,005 --> 00:04:55,640 I need you to understand that the odds are 100 to 1. 121 00:04:55,674 --> 00:04:59,444 A single misstep and instead of going to Price-Cheney-Pitkin, 122 00:04:59,478 --> 00:05:01,612 Opus could end up working the pole 123 00:05:01,647 --> 00:05:03,481 on "Toddlers & Tiaras." 124 00:05:06,151 --> 00:05:08,953 We'll take those odds, any day. 125 00:05:11,857 --> 00:05:13,524 Hello? Is anyone there? 126 00:05:13,559 --> 00:05:15,927 Look, I might have to use the bathroom. 127 00:05:15,961 --> 00:05:17,762 Sooner rather than later, 128 00:05:17,796 --> 00:05:19,764 (deepened voice) We're going to give you an afterschool snack, 129 00:05:19,798 --> 00:05:22,934 but don't try to run away and don't take our masks off. 130 00:05:22,968 --> 00:05:24,535 (Deepened voice) We own you, bitch. 131 00:05:24,570 --> 00:05:27,271 Okay. Okay. I won't give you any trouble. I understand. 132 00:05:28,969 --> 00:05:31,571 (Deepened voice) Here. Eat this. 133 00:05:33,841 --> 00:05:36,376 (Crunches) 134 00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:38,511 (Mouth full) Mmm. So good. 135 00:05:38,545 --> 00:05:40,613 I can tell Mrs. Shay's chicken salad anywhere. 136 00:05:40,647 --> 00:05:42,215 (Giggles, normal voice) Oh, thanks, Malik. 137 00:05:42,249 --> 00:05:44,384 I added some ranch for zip. 138 00:05:44,418 --> 00:05:45,918 (Normal voice) Darn it, Sheila! 139 00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:48,154 Thanks to your signature chicken salad, he knows who we are. 140 00:05:48,188 --> 00:05:50,690 Plus Lisa wasn't wearing a mask when she lured me into the van. 141 00:05:50,724 --> 00:05:53,259 You know, that's pretty cold, Lisa, pretending you want 142 00:05:53,293 --> 00:05:54,727 - to get back together just so you could... - We need you to call your parents. 143 00:05:54,762 --> 00:05:56,696 You tell them that we are holding you hostage 144 00:05:56,730 --> 00:05:58,131 and we will exchange you for our son Ryan. 145 00:05:58,165 --> 00:06:00,466 If they need proof of life, we will happily cut off a digit. 146 00:06:00,501 --> 00:06:01,868 Tell them no tricks, or we won't give you back. 147 00:06:01,902 --> 00:06:04,804 And try to sound terrified. 148 00:06:04,838 --> 00:06:07,240 H... hi, dad. Yeah, I'm at the Shays'. 149 00:06:07,674 --> 00:06:09,475 Uh, h... hold on. 150 00:06:09,509 --> 00:06:11,076 They want to know if I'm staying for dinner. 151 00:06:11,111 --> 00:06:13,646 Come on! This is a hostage situation, son! 152 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:17,449 I... think they want me to stay for dinner, yes. 153 00:06:17,483 --> 00:06:19,985 Okay. Hold on. My dad wants to talk to you. 154 00:06:20,019 --> 00:06:21,253 Eh. Tell... tell him I stepped out. 155 00:06:21,287 --> 00:06:22,921 (Whispers) Take the call, Fred. Take the call! 156 00:06:23,156 --> 00:06:24,790 Okay. 157 00:06:24,824 --> 00:06:26,325 (Clears throat) 158 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,908 Fred Shay speaking. 159 00:06:29,942 --> 00:06:31,076 Uh-huh. 160 00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:32,143 Tonight? 161 00:06:32,178 --> 00:06:33,445 I see. 162 00:06:33,479 --> 00:06:35,380 Well, you should know I won't be alone. 163 00:06:35,414 --> 00:06:36,314 (Whispers) That's good. That's good. That's good. 164 00:06:36,349 --> 00:06:38,416 Then we understand each other. 165 00:06:38,451 --> 00:06:39,884 Very well. 166 00:06:39,919 --> 00:06:41,319 Bye then. 167 00:06:41,354 --> 00:06:42,854 Hmm. Great guy. 168 00:06:42,888 --> 00:06:44,289 What did he say? Will he give us back Ryan? 169 00:06:44,323 --> 00:06:45,590 They want us to come to them. 170 00:06:45,624 --> 00:06:47,659 - Mnh-mnh. Smells like a trap. - We should leave Malik home 171 00:06:47,693 --> 00:06:48,927 and use him as a bargaining chip. 172 00:06:48,961 --> 00:06:50,662 No, his instructions were very clear. 173 00:06:50,696 --> 00:06:53,498 We're to drop off Malik tonight for the hostage exchange. 174 00:06:53,532 --> 00:06:55,767 Well, technically, he said dinner. 175 00:06:55,801 --> 00:06:56,901 Thai food. 176 00:06:56,936 --> 00:06:58,436 Oh. 177 00:07:01,581 --> 00:07:03,682 Dalia, Tessa's here. 178 00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:05,651 I don't want to see Tessa Altman. 179 00:07:05,685 --> 00:07:08,353 She made me feel bad about my P.S.A.T. car. 180 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:12,489 I know. And maybe Tessa was a teeny, tiny bit smug, 181 00:07:12,523 --> 00:07:14,758 which is so unusual for her. 182 00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:17,294 But I think that's why she's here... to apologize. 183 00:07:17,328 --> 00:07:18,995 Apology not accepted. 184 00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:20,777 Listen here, Dalia. 185 00:07:21,371 --> 00:07:23,372 Tessa may score better on tests and get better grades 186 00:07:23,407 --> 00:07:26,108 and have opportunities to get into colleges based on merit, 187 00:07:26,143 --> 00:07:28,811 but there are lots of things you're great at, too. 188 00:07:28,846 --> 00:07:29,946 Like what, mommy? 189 00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:32,615 Well, tons and tons of stuff. 190 00:07:34,485 --> 00:07:36,419 Name one thing, mommy. 191 00:07:36,453 --> 00:07:38,688 Name one thing I'm better at than Tessa Altman. 192 00:07:40,922 --> 00:07:42,056 Well... 193 00:07:43,425 --> 00:07:44,659 (Gasps) 194 00:07:44,693 --> 00:07:49,063 I'm sure Tessa Altman is not as dope as you on the dance floor. 195 00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:52,499 Send her in. 196 00:07:52,534 --> 00:07:54,702 Altmans! 197 00:07:54,736 --> 00:07:56,270 George: Yeah? 198 00:07:58,504 --> 00:08:02,441 Right. So I just wanted to apologize 199 00:08:02,475 --> 00:08:05,477 for repeatedly asking you about your score, 200 00:08:05,811 --> 00:08:07,479 and I'm sure 201 00:08:07,513 --> 00:08:09,648 whatever your score was, 202 00:08:09,682 --> 00:08:14,619 it completely merited a new, extremely expensive car. 203 00:08:14,654 --> 00:08:15,687 Wasn't that nice, Dalia? 204 00:08:16,561 --> 00:08:18,996 Tessa apologized by making an apology. 205 00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:21,098 Yeah. 206 00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:22,733 And I know it's important 207 00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:24,602 to mommy and daddy Altman that we get along, 208 00:08:24,636 --> 00:08:25,970 so I'd like you to invite you 209 00:08:26,004 --> 00:08:27,338 to a hip-hop dance class I'm taking. 210 00:08:27,372 --> 00:08:29,507 (Inhales deeply) No, thanks. 211 00:08:29,541 --> 00:08:31,142 Oh. Oh. Tessa. 212 00:08:31,176 --> 00:08:32,443 - Tessa. - What? 213 00:08:32,477 --> 00:08:34,011 Dalia is trying. 214 00:08:34,045 --> 00:08:35,713 (Whispers) Are you serious? 215 00:08:35,747 --> 00:08:37,108 Look, I'm trying, Dallas is trying, 216 00:08:37,115 --> 00:08:38,616 and now even Dalia is trying. 217 00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:40,351 That only leaves one person who is not trying, 218 00:08:40,385 --> 00:08:42,105 and I believe you know who I'm referring to. 219 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,222 I do. The girl who scored in the top ten percentile 220 00:08:45,257 --> 00:08:47,558 and got a card. 221 00:08:47,592 --> 00:08:50,027 With a "D" at the end of it. 222 00:08:50,061 --> 00:08:52,596 Card. 223 00:08:56,189 --> 00:08:57,156 Huh. Brick. 224 00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:59,825 I did not expect that. 225 00:08:59,859 --> 00:09:01,527 Okay, before anyone rings the bell, 226 00:09:01,561 --> 00:09:04,029 - we need to go over a few scenarios. - Scenarios? What scenarios? 227 00:09:04,063 --> 00:09:05,297 Is this something we should've talked about in the car 228 00:09:05,331 --> 00:09:07,132 - instead of playing "I spy"? - Okay, let's just say 229 00:09:07,167 --> 00:09:08,734 there're gonna be a lot of moving parts here tonight. 230 00:09:08,768 --> 00:09:10,669 We need to keep our cool if we want to bring home the bacon. 231 00:09:10,703 --> 00:09:11,770 Mm. 232 00:09:11,805 --> 00:09:13,172 (Doorbell rings) 233 00:09:13,206 --> 00:09:15,641 (Door creaks) 234 00:09:15,935 --> 00:09:17,169 Did you do your homework? 235 00:09:17,203 --> 00:09:19,271 Not yet. I was kidnapped. 236 00:09:19,305 --> 00:09:21,106 - Get in here. - Yes, dad. 237 00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:22,841 Hi. Please come in. 238 00:09:22,875 --> 00:09:24,910 Eugene has told us so much about you. 239 00:09:24,944 --> 00:09:26,445 Have we got the wrong house? 240 00:09:26,479 --> 00:09:28,780 Your son Ryan changed his name to Eugene. 241 00:09:28,815 --> 00:09:31,616 He doesn't want to be known as a Shay anymore. 242 00:09:31,651 --> 00:09:33,085 I'm going down. 243 00:09:33,119 --> 00:09:34,920 (Thud) Sheila? 244 00:09:34,954 --> 00:09:36,621 Welcome back, Sheila. 245 00:09:36,656 --> 00:09:37,923 (Moans) 246 00:09:38,157 --> 00:09:39,691 - You feeling better? - Oh. 247 00:09:39,725 --> 00:09:41,559 You gave us a quite a scare. She did. 248 00:09:41,594 --> 00:09:43,528 Would you like some water? 249 00:09:43,562 --> 00:09:45,730 Ryan. Hand over Ryan, 250 00:09:45,765 --> 00:09:47,265 in whatever condition he's in... 251 00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:49,901 Battered, broken, brainwashed! 252 00:09:49,936 --> 00:09:52,504 Eugene is otherwise occupied right now. 253 00:09:52,538 --> 00:09:54,205 He'll be down in due time. 254 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:55,607 We're willing to pay. 255 00:09:55,641 --> 00:09:56,975 Fred has $15,000 in cash taped to his stomach. 256 00:09:57,929 --> 00:10:01,532 Ryan: I don't care if he has 15 jillion jillions! 257 00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:03,133 There's no way I'm going home 258 00:10:03,168 --> 00:10:05,436 with a fake bunch of faking fakers! 259 00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:07,104 Ryan, it's us, 260 00:10:07,138 --> 00:10:10,307 your parents. We love you and we miss you. 261 00:10:10,342 --> 00:10:11,876 Lisa wore a dress. 262 00:10:13,578 --> 00:10:16,113 My name's Eugene now. 263 00:10:16,147 --> 00:10:17,748 Eugene Goldfarb. 264 00:10:17,782 --> 00:10:19,650 I'm no longer a Shay. 265 00:10:19,684 --> 00:10:21,304 I'm getting emancipated. 266 00:10:21,339 --> 00:10:23,533 Oh, you don't happen to have a crash mat? 267 00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:25,323 - Mnh-mnh. - Emancipation? 268 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,843 He can't just make that kind of proclamation, can he, Fred? 269 00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,126 I don't know. 270 00:10:28,692 --> 00:10:30,818 Eugene wants to be an emancipated minor, Sheila. 271 00:10:30,854 --> 00:10:33,318 He feels very strongly about it, and since I'm a lawyer, 272 00:10:33,352 --> 00:10:34,601 I started to help him with the paperwork. 273 00:10:34,636 --> 00:10:36,762 Lawyers, Fred. Lawyers. Lawyers. They're lawyers. 274 00:10:36,797 --> 00:10:39,329 This is one of those scenarios I was referring to. 275 00:10:39,363 --> 00:10:40,916 You realize if the judge rules in your son's favor, 276 00:10:40,950 --> 00:10:43,381 you'll both have to surrender your parental rights? 277 00:10:43,416 --> 00:10:44,867 Surrender? Sheila? 278 00:10:44,901 --> 00:10:46,792 - No. - I'm suing you for freedom. 279 00:10:46,826 --> 00:10:49,223 You hear me? I am suing you to be free! 280 00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:51,790 Well, should we eat? 281 00:10:53,142 --> 00:10:55,302 - Yeah. Might as well. - Sure. Yeah. Sounds good. 282 00:10:55,911 --> 00:10:57,278 Okay, Opus. 283 00:10:57,312 --> 00:10:59,380 I don't want you to feel like I'm judging you, 284 00:10:59,414 --> 00:11:00,815 but for the next 45 minutes, 285 00:11:00,849 --> 00:11:03,150 I'm going to be judging you harshly. 286 00:11:03,185 --> 00:11:04,485 Grab and release. 287 00:11:04,519 --> 00:11:05,553 Grab... 288 00:11:05,587 --> 00:11:07,555 and release. 289 00:11:07,589 --> 00:11:08,656 Now you try. 290 00:11:08,690 --> 00:11:09,924 Here. Your turn. 291 00:11:09,958 --> 00:11:11,058 A toi. 292 00:11:12,961 --> 00:11:15,129 It's like you're doing the first part of a push-up, 293 00:11:15,163 --> 00:11:18,098 and then you push yourself over. 294 00:11:18,133 --> 00:11:19,933 While Opus was being put 295 00:11:19,968 --> 00:11:21,201 through the rigors of more testing... 296 00:11:21,235 --> 00:11:23,737 Stacking of the cups. 297 00:11:25,606 --> 00:11:29,109 I'll give you a zero on that. 298 00:11:29,303 --> 00:11:31,905 I found myself having to jump through a few hoops of my own. 299 00:11:32,139 --> 00:11:34,808 ♪ And lock, do the snip, do the snake ♪ 300 00:11:34,842 --> 00:11:37,110 ♪ oh, what's this? A new fish in the pond ♪ 301 00:11:37,344 --> 00:11:38,578 ♪ What's this ♪ 302 00:11:38,812 --> 00:11:41,080 - What is going on? - I'm not sure. 303 00:11:41,115 --> 00:11:43,483 (Hip-hop music playing) 304 00:11:43,617 --> 00:11:44,684 Hey, Dalia. 305 00:11:44,719 --> 00:11:45,719 Hey. 306 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:47,730 Yo. You got beef? 307 00:11:47,965 --> 00:11:49,045 No. 308 00:11:49,046 --> 00:11:50,766 Tessa and I got mad beef. 309 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,669 She tried to diss and dismiss my intellect. 310 00:11:53,704 --> 00:11:55,738 What intellect? 311 00:11:55,773 --> 00:11:58,541 All: Ooh! Ooh! 312 00:11:58,575 --> 00:12:00,343 There's only one way to settle a beef 313 00:12:00,377 --> 00:12:02,011 in beginner's hip-hop, y'all. 314 00:12:02,045 --> 00:12:04,480 You know what time it is! 315 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:07,683 (Students chanting) Dance-off! Dance-off! Dance-off! 316 00:12:07,718 --> 00:12:09,619 Dance-off! Dance-off! 317 00:12:09,653 --> 00:12:11,687 Dance-off! Dance-off! 318 00:12:14,828 --> 00:12:16,562 (Chuckles) 319 00:12:16,596 --> 00:12:18,964 Is there deer meat in this? 320 00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:20,599 (Mouth full) No, it's... it's vegetarian, Lisa. 321 00:12:20,634 --> 00:12:22,635 Thank you, lord. 322 00:12:22,669 --> 00:12:25,037 - So, uh, roses and thorns, shall we? - Mm-hmm. 323 00:12:25,071 --> 00:12:27,339 Let's talk about our roses and our thorns. 324 00:12:27,374 --> 00:12:29,241 Yeah. It's what the Obamas do. 325 00:12:29,276 --> 00:12:30,609 Oh, boy. 326 00:12:30,644 --> 00:12:31,810 Fred. 327 00:12:31,845 --> 00:12:33,245 Well... 328 00:12:33,279 --> 00:12:36,048 my rose was this fantastic crunchy spring roll. 329 00:12:36,082 --> 00:12:37,416 (Chuckles) 330 00:12:37,450 --> 00:12:39,451 And my thorn was the sprinklers going off on my car 331 00:12:39,486 --> 00:12:41,487 this morning right after I'd had a hand-wax. 332 00:12:41,521 --> 00:12:43,522 Oh, hell, no. I hate that. 333 00:12:43,556 --> 00:12:45,157 - I know, right? - High-five it. 334 00:12:45,191 --> 00:12:47,092 All right. (Laughs) 335 00:12:47,687 --> 00:12:49,321 Eugene. 336 00:12:49,355 --> 00:12:52,390 Let's see. 337 00:12:52,425 --> 00:12:55,527 My rose is hitting a home run at baseball practice today. 338 00:12:55,561 --> 00:12:57,229 (Gasps) Hey, way to go, son! 339 00:12:57,263 --> 00:12:59,130 I'm not your son. 340 00:12:59,165 --> 00:13:00,232 (Cries) 341 00:13:01,367 --> 00:13:03,235 And my Thorn was finding out 342 00:13:03,269 --> 00:13:05,670 my entire life... (Gasps) 343 00:13:05,705 --> 00:13:07,672 was... a... lie! 344 00:13:07,707 --> 00:13:08,773 Oh! 345 00:13:08,808 --> 00:13:09,908 Ouch. 346 00:13:09,942 --> 00:13:13,078 That's a... a deep thorn. 347 00:13:13,112 --> 00:13:15,447 But it didn't happen today. 348 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:17,094 Edmond? 349 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,330 - I'll allow it. - Damn it. 350 00:13:19,364 --> 00:13:20,804 Why didn't you tell me I was adopted? 351 00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:23,000 We wanted to. We really did. 352 00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:24,635 At first you were too young to understand. 353 00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:26,103 It took him three years to learn English. 354 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,905 Then when he finally did learn, the timing was never right. 355 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,273 How could you not have told me? 356 00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:32,109 I was like a brother to you. 357 00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:33,978 Ryan, Ryan, take it easy, man. 358 00:13:34,012 --> 00:13:35,179 We didn't want to lose you. 359 00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,515 Well, you lost me. You lost me big-time! 360 00:13:37,549 --> 00:13:39,350 Oh. What if I were to leave your mother? 361 00:13:39,384 --> 00:13:41,686 - Would you come home then? - Fred Shay! 362 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:42,787 What? It's just a thought. 363 00:13:43,601 --> 00:13:44,835 It was kind of pathetic, 364 00:13:44,869 --> 00:13:46,737 but when people feel backed into a corner, 365 00:13:46,771 --> 00:13:49,373 they tend to do pathetic things. 366 00:13:49,407 --> 00:13:51,341 Case in point... this dance-off. 367 00:13:51,376 --> 00:13:52,776 Go, Dalia! 368 00:13:52,810 --> 00:13:54,811 ♪ It's your birthday, it's your birthday ♪ 369 00:13:54,846 --> 00:13:56,780 It's her birthday? Why are you saying it's her birthday? 370 00:13:56,814 --> 00:13:58,248 It's not her birthday. 371 00:13:58,282 --> 00:14:00,150 [ ♪ The Motto ♪ by Drake plays ] 372 00:14:00,184 --> 00:14:02,919 Boy: Ooh! - Come on. 373 00:14:02,954 --> 00:14:05,389 ♪ How you feel? How you feel? How you feel? ♪ 374 00:14:05,423 --> 00:14:07,457 ♪ 25 sitting on 25 mil, uh ♪ 375 00:14:07,492 --> 00:14:08,659 ♪ I'm in the building ♪ 376 00:14:08,693 --> 00:14:09,960 I know whose birthday it isn't. 377 00:14:09,994 --> 00:14:11,128 ♪ Mac Dre, I'm-a do it... ♪ 378 00:14:11,442 --> 00:14:13,076 Hey. That's not fair. 379 00:14:13,110 --> 00:14:15,679 She gets a crew? Why does only one of 'em get a crew? 380 00:14:15,713 --> 00:14:17,948 That's gotta be against dance-off rules or something. 381 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,716 Go, Dalia! Finish her! 382 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:20,850 What kind of a parent... 383 00:14:20,885 --> 00:14:22,352 George, don't "what kind of a parent" me. 384 00:14:22,386 --> 00:14:25,655 You let Tessa act any old way she pleases. 385 00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,424 Well, at least I didn't buy her a car 386 00:14:27,458 --> 00:14:29,426 for substandard test results. 387 00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:31,628 I bought that car to make my daughter happy. 388 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,096 It's not my fault you're cheap. 389 00:14:33,130 --> 00:14:34,564 ♪ 'Cause the pimpin' ice cold ♪ 390 00:14:34,598 --> 00:14:36,032 ♪ all these... want to chill ♪ 391 00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:37,434 ♪ I mean, maybe she won't, then again... ♪ 392 00:14:37,468 --> 00:14:39,936 Come on, Tess! Turn it up! Show 'em what you got! 393 00:14:39,971 --> 00:14:41,237 You represent, girl! 394 00:14:41,272 --> 00:14:42,439 ♪ You already know, though ♪ 395 00:14:42,473 --> 00:14:43,773 ♪ you only live once ♪ 396 00:14:43,808 --> 00:14:44,908 George: Oh! 397 00:14:44,942 --> 00:14:47,911 Money-making Manhattan in the house! 398 00:14:47,945 --> 00:14:49,512 ♪ Sittin' on a bench, but we don't really play ♪ 399 00:14:49,547 --> 00:14:51,748 ♪ everyday, everyday, what anybody say ♪ 400 00:14:51,782 --> 00:14:53,616 ♪ can't see 'em 'cause the money in the way ♪ 401 00:14:53,651 --> 00:14:56,286 Oh! Someone checked a book out the library! 402 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:57,387 ♪ One time ♪ 403 00:14:57,421 --> 00:14:58,688 And Tessa didn't have a bunch 404 00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,991 - of expensive dance lessons. - (Laughs) No kidding. 405 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,159 Is she hip-hop home-schooled? 406 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,260 Like those ice cream cones of yours... 407 00:15:04,295 --> 00:15:05,829 what'd you, save, a nickel on those? 408 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,063 You did not just go there. 409 00:15:07,098 --> 00:15:08,631 Oh, yes, I did, daddy. 410 00:15:09,026 --> 00:15:10,259 Well, you know what? 411 00:15:10,794 --> 00:15:14,063 Some people don't need to throw money at it, mama. 412 00:15:14,097 --> 00:15:16,417 Some people are born with what it takes. (Jacket hits floor) 413 00:15:16,433 --> 00:15:18,200 What, what! 414 00:15:18,235 --> 00:15:21,070 You did not just gangsta me, George Altman. 415 00:15:21,104 --> 00:15:22,404 I think I did, Dallas. 416 00:15:22,439 --> 00:15:23,639 ♪ And mister ed, yeah ♪ 417 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:24,707 I think I did. 418 00:15:24,741 --> 00:15:26,208 You know who you remind me of? 419 00:15:26,243 --> 00:15:27,743 Judge Reinhold... 420 00:15:27,777 --> 00:15:29,144 without the Reinhold. 421 00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,046 Oh, yeah, well, Judge Reinhold you. 422 00:15:31,081 --> 00:15:32,548 I said... 423 00:15:32,582 --> 00:15:35,818 without the Reinhold. 424 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,586 Yo, checkers. Toss me that cap. 425 00:15:37,621 --> 00:15:39,488 ♪ 426 00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:44,192 I judge you to be a desperate enabler, Dallas! 427 00:15:44,226 --> 00:15:45,627 An enabler! 428 00:15:45,661 --> 00:15:47,195 O.M.G. 429 00:15:47,229 --> 00:15:49,731 We ruined their relationship. 430 00:15:49,765 --> 00:15:51,132 Yeah. 431 00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:55,837 ♪ Oh... my... God, Becky, look at her butt ♪ 432 00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:58,139 Where did George get that cardboard? 433 00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:01,168 There you go, darling. 434 00:16:01,203 --> 00:16:02,770 Edmond: I hope you guys like pudding, 435 00:16:02,804 --> 00:16:04,905 'cause we have plenty of it, and it's all chocolate. 436 00:16:04,940 --> 00:16:06,373 Chocolate pudding, Eugene. 437 00:16:06,408 --> 00:16:07,475 Your favorite. 438 00:16:09,611 --> 00:16:10,878 I love pudding. 439 00:16:10,912 --> 00:16:13,113 I know you do. 440 00:16:13,148 --> 00:16:17,318 Are you absolutely sure that you don't want to go home with us? 441 00:16:20,789 --> 00:16:23,390 Sure, I'm sure. I'm super sure. 442 00:16:23,425 --> 00:16:26,160 Let's go, Shays. 443 00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:27,595 It's over. 444 00:16:27,629 --> 00:16:31,031 Let him make a fort with his cereal boxes at breakfast. 445 00:16:31,066 --> 00:16:33,000 He likes that. 446 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,269 (Chair scrapes floor) 447 00:16:35,303 --> 00:16:37,738 We should do this again sometime. 448 00:16:40,856 --> 00:16:42,956 Sometimes seeing your parents act like children 449 00:16:42,991 --> 00:16:46,628 makes you realize it's time to grow up. 450 00:16:47,362 --> 00:16:49,897 Mommy, stop. You're scaring me. 451 00:16:49,931 --> 00:16:51,031 Well, he started it. 452 00:16:51,066 --> 00:16:52,800 - What? She did. - No. 453 00:16:52,834 --> 00:16:56,637 We started it, and now we're gonna finish it. 454 00:16:56,671 --> 00:16:59,640 Guys, our beef is squashed. 455 00:16:59,674 --> 00:17:00,674 We squashed it. 456 00:17:00,709 --> 00:17:02,343 The beef was squashed. 457 00:17:02,377 --> 00:17:04,945 The dance-off never fails. 458 00:17:04,979 --> 00:17:07,348 Class dismissed! 459 00:17:07,382 --> 00:17:09,216 ♪ 460 00:17:09,250 --> 00:17:11,418 - It's over, George. - It's over, mommy. 461 00:17:11,453 --> 00:17:13,020 And I'm gonna need you to apologize to Dallas now, 462 00:17:13,054 --> 00:17:15,923 because I'm trying, and Dalia is trying, 463 00:17:15,957 --> 00:17:19,226 and the only person who isn't trying is you. 464 00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:21,595 And Dallas. Look at her. She's not trying. 465 00:17:21,629 --> 00:17:23,497 She's... she's just recharging her robot. 466 00:17:23,731 --> 00:17:26,833 I sound like a crazy person. 467 00:17:26,868 --> 00:17:28,135 Yeah? 468 00:17:28,169 --> 00:17:30,270 Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think I... 469 00:17:30,305 --> 00:17:31,438 I think I got carried away. 470 00:17:31,472 --> 00:17:33,240 I shouldn't have gangsta'd you. 471 00:17:33,274 --> 00:17:34,675 That's a... an aggressive move 472 00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:37,344 best reserved for an "electric boogaloo" reboot. 473 00:17:37,378 --> 00:17:38,845 I apologize, too, George. 474 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,247 I am one of the unlucky few 475 00:17:40,281 --> 00:17:43,016 whose ugly side comes out on the dance floor. 476 00:17:43,051 --> 00:17:46,053 No. No, it's true. I get real mouthy. 477 00:17:46,087 --> 00:17:48,422 You do. (Laughs) 478 00:17:48,456 --> 00:17:50,257 You know what? Our girls are gonna fight. 479 00:17:50,291 --> 00:17:52,192 That doesn't mean we have to. 480 00:17:52,226 --> 00:17:54,895 I know you probably don't agree with everything I do with Dalia, 481 00:17:54,929 --> 00:17:57,230 and I wouldn't let Tessa wear half the clothes 482 00:17:57,265 --> 00:17:59,833 you allow her to run around town in, 483 00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:01,802 but I know you're a good dad. 484 00:18:01,836 --> 00:18:06,740 And no one has a bigger heart than you, Dallas, 485 00:18:06,774 --> 00:18:09,643 even if your robot needs a little oil. 486 00:18:09,677 --> 00:18:12,179 Oh, yeah? You gonna oil my robot, daddy? 487 00:18:12,213 --> 00:18:14,348 Not in front of the kids. 488 00:18:14,882 --> 00:18:17,951 I'm sorry, but there's no easy way to say this. 489 00:18:18,086 --> 00:18:20,821 Opus has the brain development of a 6-month-old child. 490 00:18:20,855 --> 00:18:22,589 (Sighs) 491 00:18:22,624 --> 00:18:24,658 Are you absolutely sure? 492 00:18:24,692 --> 00:18:25,826 I'm afraid so. 493 00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:28,262 - Price-Cheney-Pitkin? - Is out, of course. 494 00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:30,430 I could suggest a facility that could house the boy... 495 00:18:30,465 --> 00:18:31,765 someplace with experience 496 00:18:31,799 --> 00:18:34,835 dealing with the special needs of the blindingly average. 497 00:18:34,869 --> 00:18:37,371 No. We couldn't do that. 498 00:18:37,405 --> 00:18:38,939 I'm not sure how we'll tell him. 499 00:18:38,973 --> 00:18:41,174 Sadly, I doubt he'll even understand. 500 00:18:41,209 --> 00:18:43,377 I don't care that he's not a genius. 501 00:18:43,411 --> 00:18:47,514 He's a beautiful boy, and we love him. 502 00:18:47,549 --> 00:18:51,184 Oh. 503 00:18:51,219 --> 00:18:53,554 Do you see that? (Coos) 504 00:18:53,588 --> 00:18:54,922 He spelled out D-D-S. 505 00:18:54,956 --> 00:18:56,723 He understands that his father has 506 00:18:56,758 --> 00:18:58,792 a doctor of dental surgery degree, 507 00:18:58,826 --> 00:19:02,162 not a D.M.D., a mistake that many people make. 508 00:19:02,196 --> 00:19:04,264 He probably just grabbed the blocks at random. 509 00:19:04,299 --> 00:19:06,667 - You're random! - Oh, lashing out. 510 00:19:06,701 --> 00:19:08,068 Opus? (Fusses) 511 00:19:08,102 --> 00:19:10,203 Can you spell out mommy's career? 512 00:19:10,238 --> 00:19:11,672 Author. 513 00:19:11,706 --> 00:19:12,806 Find an "A." 514 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,942 That's right. Yes, right there. 515 00:19:14,976 --> 00:19:18,312 Or an "S." Self-published author. 516 00:19:23,084 --> 00:19:25,018 Oh. (Stomach rumbles) 517 00:19:25,053 --> 00:19:26,520 Did you eat enough dinner? 518 00:19:26,554 --> 00:19:28,355 I don't love vegetables. 519 00:19:28,389 --> 00:19:30,324 Seemed like you didn't really love dessert tonight, either. 520 00:19:30,358 --> 00:19:33,427 Yeah. Usually my favorite part about dinner is dessert, 521 00:19:33,461 --> 00:19:34,895 and my favorite dessert is pudding, 522 00:19:34,929 --> 00:19:36,597 and my favorite pudding flavor is chocolate, 523 00:19:36,631 --> 00:19:39,933 but my absolute favorite part of chocolate pudding is the skin, 524 00:19:39,968 --> 00:19:41,602 and tonight's pudding was skinless. 525 00:19:41,636 --> 00:19:44,271 But don't tell our mom. I don't want to hurt her feelings. 526 00:19:44,305 --> 00:19:46,039 It won't. 527 00:19:46,074 --> 00:19:48,575 (Sighs) 528 00:19:48,610 --> 00:19:50,243 I love pudding skin so much, 529 00:19:50,278 --> 00:19:53,313 my old mom used to make it for me all the time. 530 00:19:53,348 --> 00:19:56,750 My old father and sister would usually give me their skin, too. 531 00:19:56,784 --> 00:19:58,685 Because they love you. 532 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,253 Yeah. 533 00:20:01,923 --> 00:20:03,190 I'll just ask my new black mom 534 00:20:03,224 --> 00:20:05,025 to make pudding with skin on it from now on. 535 00:20:05,059 --> 00:20:06,593 Yeah, see, that's not gonna happen. 536 00:20:06,628 --> 00:20:09,529 My parents make what they like, and they like skinless pudding. 537 00:20:09,564 --> 00:20:10,964 Huh. 538 00:20:19,107 --> 00:20:20,307 (Crash) 539 00:20:20,341 --> 00:20:22,275 Andie MacDowell, what are you doing here? 540 00:20:22,310 --> 00:20:24,311 Fred, wake up. Did you hear that? 541 00:20:24,345 --> 00:20:25,946 I did. 542 00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:30,384 Do you think... 543 00:20:35,323 --> 00:20:37,290 He's back. 544 00:20:37,325 --> 00:20:39,826 Our boy is back. 545 00:20:41,029 --> 00:20:43,463 Hey. 546 00:20:46,868 --> 00:20:48,969 Eugene's leaving. Where's he going? 547 00:20:50,338 --> 00:20:52,539 It's Ryan, you guys. 548 00:20:53,975 --> 00:20:57,077 I'm going to bed. 549 00:21:02,316 --> 00:21:04,685 Skin is thicker than water. 550 00:21:06,087 --> 00:21:09,389 I don't think that's the correct saying. 551 00:21:09,424 --> 00:21:11,324 No. No. 552 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:12,592 (Whispers) Leave it alone. He's standing on the stairs, 553 00:21:12,627 --> 00:21:14,428 - listening. - (Whispers) If that's true, 554 00:21:14,462 --> 00:21:16,530 then the only thing I want him to hear is this... 555 00:21:16,564 --> 00:21:18,999 I love you, son. 556 00:21:19,033 --> 00:21:21,134 (Whispers) If you're listening, I love you, too. 557 00:21:21,169 --> 00:21:22,369 (Whispers) If you're listening, 558 00:21:22,403 --> 00:21:24,905 it's blood that's thicker than water. 559 00:21:24,939 --> 00:21:27,241 It's blood. 560 00:21:27,642 --> 00:21:32,642 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne - - www.addic7ed.com -