1
00:00:02,761 --> 00:00:04,174
Hey, will you steam
my uniform next?
2
00:00:04,399 --> 00:00:05,899
Yeah, w...
Interesting.
3
00:00:05,932 --> 00:00:07,790
Do you recall this conversation?
4
00:00:07,827 --> 00:00:10,178
"Leonard, want to go halfsies
on a steamer?"
5
00:00:10,216 --> 00:00:13,417
"No, Sheldon,
we don't need a steamer."
6
00:00:14,246 --> 00:00:16,846
Looks like that rumpled
chicken's come home to roost.
7
00:00:18,083 --> 00:00:20,102
Hi. Here are the make-up
sponges you asked for.
8
00:00:20,133 --> 00:00:22,570
Oh, thanks,
I thought I had more.
9
00:00:26,501 --> 00:00:28,786
Damn, you've got
more makeup than I do.
10
00:00:29,486 --> 00:00:31,970
You've got better makeup
than I do.
11
00:00:32,044 --> 00:00:33,314
Yeah, I'm borrowing this.
12
00:00:33,339 --> 00:00:34,558
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
13
00:00:34,585 --> 00:00:36,295
This is my Comic-Con makeup.
14
00:00:36,528 --> 00:00:38,028
I love you,
but there are some things
15
00:00:38,046 --> 00:00:40,161
a man doesn't share
with his girlfriend.
16
00:00:41,079 --> 00:00:42,868
That's a wise policy.
17
00:00:42,899 --> 00:00:44,881
I once borrowed
my sister's makeup
18
00:00:44,906 --> 00:00:45,981
for a costume contest.
19
00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:47,719
Got a terrible case of pinkeye.
20
00:00:47,808 --> 00:00:49,727
Yeah, but luckily,
I was going as a zombie.
21
00:00:49,770 --> 00:00:51,509
I won second place.
22
00:00:52,589 --> 00:00:54,396
I feel like you guys
just went to Comic-Con.
23
00:00:54,428 --> 00:00:55,728
That was San Diego Comic-Con.
24
00:00:55,752 --> 00:00:57,886
This is Bakersfield Comic-Con.
25
00:00:58,209 --> 00:00:59,266
Is that better?
26
00:00:59,303 --> 00:01:00,666
Well, it's a lot smaller.
27
00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:01,966
It's more about
the comic books.
28
00:01:02,002 --> 00:01:03,334
The way these
conventions used to be
29
00:01:03,365 --> 00:01:04,865
before they went all Hollywood.
30
00:01:04,943 --> 00:01:08,038
So to answer your question,
no, it's not better.
31
00:01:08,913 --> 00:01:10,413
Well, then why are you going?
32
00:01:10,811 --> 00:01:12,380
It's a comic book convention.
33
00:01:12,444 --> 00:01:14,856
You know, it's like pizza
or particle accelerators,
34
00:01:14,881 --> 00:01:17,382
even the stinky one's
still pretty good.
35
00:01:17,824 --> 00:01:19,390
All right. Well, you guys have fun.
36
00:01:19,415 --> 00:01:20,483
I guess I'll see you
Sunday night.
37
00:01:20,512 --> 00:01:21,678
- Yeah.
- Okay.
38
00:01:21,696 --> 00:01:23,137
Oh, hang on a second.
39
00:01:23,155 --> 00:01:25,339
Hold this.
40
00:01:29,713 --> 00:01:30,739
What was that for?
41
00:01:30,764 --> 00:01:33,565
To show people
when they don't believe me.
42
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,640
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
43
00:01:38,658 --> 00:01:42,436
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
44
00:01:42,461 --> 00:01:43,644
♪ The Earth began to cool
45
00:01:43,669 --> 00:01:46,788
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
46
00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:48,715
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
47
00:01:48,746 --> 00:01:51,409
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
48
00:01:51,427 --> 00:01:53,601
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
49
00:01:53,626 --> 00:01:55,126
♪ Bang! ♪
50
00:01:55,159 --> 00:01:57,659
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x13 ♪
The Bakersfield Expedition
Original Air Date on January 10, 2013
51
00:01:57,683 --> 00:02:00,183
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
52
00:02:00,296 --> 00:02:01,702
Oh, this is the best.
53
00:02:01,751 --> 00:02:04,064
You have booze with breakfast on
a Tuesday, you got a problem.
54
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:06,601
You do it on the weekend,
you got brunch.
55
00:02:07,098 --> 00:02:09,014
Sheldon doesn't believe
in brunch.
56
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,295
He can't stand being at a table
57
00:02:10,314 --> 00:02:11,580
where one person's
having an omelet
58
00:02:11,612 --> 00:02:13,896
and another person's
having a sandwich.
59
00:02:14,411 --> 00:02:16,964
He's not exhausting at all.
60
00:02:19,132 --> 00:02:20,632
Oh.
61
00:02:20,896 --> 00:02:21,851
It's Leonard.
62
00:02:21,869 --> 00:02:24,058
He says they're on the road
and headed for Bakersfield
63
00:02:24,089 --> 00:02:25,690
at "warp speed."
64
00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:28,873
Maybe it's the mimosa, but I'm gonna
give the kid an LOL.
65
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,626
It's cute how excited they are.
66
00:02:32,651 --> 00:02:35,870
You should have seen Howard sewing
his costume all week for the convention.
67
00:02:35,949 --> 00:02:37,555
When did Howard learn to sew?
68
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,196
When he was a little boy,
every couple months,
69
00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:41,396
he would have to let
his mom's pants out.
70
00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:47,191
I don't even understand why
they go to these conventions.
71
00:02:47,246 --> 00:02:49,570
I know. The four of them work
at a major university.
72
00:02:49,601 --> 00:02:50,764
They're all super smart.
73
00:02:50,793 --> 00:02:53,316
How can they still be into something
made for 12-year-olds?
74
00:02:53,471 --> 00:02:54,606
I don't mind it.
75
00:02:54,631 --> 00:02:57,106
I think Howie's just in touch
with his inner child.
76
00:02:57,204 --> 00:02:59,268
Although when he comes to bed
in his Batman pajamas,
77
00:02:59,287 --> 00:03:03,123
sometimes it feels like
I'm touching his inner child.
78
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,127
It's probably because
they were bullied growing up.
79
00:03:07,169 --> 00:03:08,919
In a world
where you can't fight back,
80
00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:11,369
superheroes provide
meaningful wish-fulfillment.
81
00:03:12,299 --> 00:03:14,745
Now I feel bad for picking
on all those kids.
82
00:03:15,148 --> 00:03:16,467
Although, in my defense,
83
00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:18,401
if Danny Biffle didn't want
to eat a mouthful of dirt,
84
00:03:18,426 --> 00:03:21,640
he shouldn't have shown up
to school wearing a bow tie.
85
00:03:22,632 --> 00:03:24,771
I've never even read
a comic book. You guys?
86
00:03:24,802 --> 00:03:25,934
- Uh-uh.
- No.
87
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:28,009
I mean, it's such an important
part of their lives.
88
00:03:28,034 --> 00:03:29,617
Maybe we should try
reading some.
89
00:03:29,659 --> 00:03:31,348
Seriously?
90
00:03:32,016 --> 00:03:34,004
The comic book store
isn't far from here.
91
00:03:34,072 --> 00:03:36,811
That is an amazing idea.
92
00:03:37,104 --> 00:03:40,406
Okay, how many of these
have I had?
93
00:03:44,994 --> 00:03:47,412
I think you should turn
on the GPS.
94
00:03:47,613 --> 00:03:48,752
It is on.
95
00:03:48,848 --> 00:03:51,607
But the turn-by-turn
voice option isn't on.
96
00:03:51,645 --> 00:03:53,204
I know I'd feel more safe
97
00:03:53,222 --> 00:03:55,040
if you turn on the turn-by-turn
voice option.
98
00:03:55,059 --> 00:03:57,609
I love the turn-by-turn
voice option.
99
00:03:58,058 --> 00:04:01,901
Has it really only
been ten miles?
100
00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:04,774
I'm turning it on,
but just to shut you up.
101
00:04:05,790 --> 00:04:08,582
Leonard, bear left and continue
102
00:04:08,606 --> 00:04:11,047
on Interstate 210.
103
00:04:12,876 --> 00:04:15,517
Ooh, sounds like that fellow
knows what he's talking about.
104
00:04:16,228 --> 00:04:19,201
I'd put on my listening ears
if I were you.
105
00:04:19,542 --> 00:04:20,973
What did you do?
106
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,783
I found a hack online.
107
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,874
I was able to upload
MP3 recordings
108
00:04:24,905 --> 00:04:26,482
of my voice to your GPS.
109
00:04:26,506 --> 00:04:28,042
That is so cool.
110
00:04:28,078 --> 00:04:30,078
Counterpoint, no, it's not.
111
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,852
Continue on Interstate 210
112
00:04:33,883 --> 00:04:35,382
for five miles.
113
00:04:35,559 --> 00:04:39,260
Here's an interesting fact
about interstates.
114
00:04:40,144 --> 00:04:41,088
Really?
115
00:04:41,112 --> 00:04:43,765
Shh, he said it's interesting.
116
00:04:44,498 --> 00:04:47,254
Interstates are numbered
as follows.
117
00:04:47,305 --> 00:04:50,451
Even-numbered routes
run east and west,
118
00:04:51,261 --> 00:04:52,767
odd-numbered routes
119
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,792
run north and south.
120
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:58,787
Three-digit route numbers
indicate bypasses
121
00:04:58,842 --> 00:05:01,977
or spurs.
122
00:05:02,916 --> 00:05:04,495
Look, Leonard,
there's a bridge.
123
00:05:04,519 --> 00:05:06,093
Drive off it.
124
00:05:07,049 --> 00:05:09,865
You know, we're not that far
from Vazquez Rocks.
125
00:05:09,908 --> 00:05:13,243
Oh, they shot a lot
of Star Trek episodes out there.
126
00:05:13,275 --> 00:05:15,343
We've got our costumes
in the trunk.
127
00:05:15,386 --> 00:05:17,818
We could go there
and have a little photo shoot.
128
00:05:17,855 --> 00:05:19,174
Great idea.
129
00:05:19,205 --> 00:05:21,666
I haven't had a carbohydrate
in two weeks.
130
00:05:21,716 --> 00:05:23,798
These cheekbones need
to be in front of a camera
131
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,990
before I eat a pretzel
and they're gone.
132
00:05:26,692 --> 00:05:27,976
Yeah, that sounds fun.
133
00:05:27,997 --> 00:05:29,696
Oh, smashing.
134
00:05:29,721 --> 00:05:31,984
Now, Leonard,
do you know how to get there?
135
00:05:32,014 --> 00:05:32,612
No.
136
00:05:32,653 --> 00:05:35,180
Yeah, well luckily,
someone in the car does.
137
00:05:35,222 --> 00:05:37,022
Recalculating.
138
00:05:38,524 --> 00:05:39,990
While we're waiting,
139
00:05:40,027 --> 00:05:42,298
do you know
which president signed
140
00:05:42,329 --> 00:05:45,801
the Intestate Highway System Act
into law?
141
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:50,165
The answer,
coming up in 14 miles.
142
00:05:51,177 --> 00:05:52,765
None of you will get it.
143
00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:54,956
It's Eisenhower.
144
00:06:08,110 --> 00:06:10,027
Why are they staring?
145
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,400
Who cares?
Just soak it in.
146
00:06:15,259 --> 00:06:17,332
Hello, boys.
147
00:06:18,228 --> 00:06:20,603
Oh, hey.
148
00:06:23,189 --> 00:06:25,702
Could you please stop staring?
They're just girls.
149
00:06:25,727 --> 00:06:29,036
It's nothing you haven't seen
in movies or in drawings.
150
00:06:30,316 --> 00:06:31,271
Hey, Stuart.
151
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,884
Wh-What brings you guys here?
152
00:06:32,978 --> 00:06:35,309
We were looking for a recommendation
about comic books.
153
00:06:35,327 --> 00:06:38,846
Oh, well, I recommend you don't
open a store and sell them.
154
00:06:39,452 --> 00:06:41,928
No, we were just wondering why the
guys like this stuff so much,
155
00:06:41,952 --> 00:06:43,147
so we thought we'd
give it a try.
156
00:06:43,172 --> 00:06:45,527
Oh, okay. What do you think
you might be into?
157
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:48,038
Superhero, fantasy,
graphic novels, manga--
158
00:06:48,061 --> 00:06:51,530
I swear
I will turn a hose on you.
159
00:06:56,032 --> 00:06:57,917
What kind of comics
do the guys like?
160
00:06:57,948 --> 00:06:59,942
Um, a litt bit of everything.
161
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,423
Mostly superhero stuff.
162
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:03,262
All right, well,
who's the best superhero?
163
00:07:03,293 --> 00:07:04,475
Shh!
164
00:07:04,731 --> 00:07:06,619
You can't ask a question
like that in here.
165
00:07:06,631 --> 00:07:09,020
Are you trying
to start a rumble?
166
00:07:10,061 --> 00:07:12,172
Well, what do you recommend?
167
00:07:12,203 --> 00:07:13,569
Well, uh, let's see.
168
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,533
You've got your basic
clean-cut good guys--
169
00:07:15,552 --> 00:07:18,191
Superman, Spider-Man,
Captain America.
170
00:07:18,296 --> 00:07:20,353
Then you have
your darker anti-heroes--
171
00:07:20,378 --> 00:07:22,431
your Batman, your Wolverine,
Punisher.
172
00:07:22,449 --> 00:07:25,306
Ooh, I do love a bad boy.
173
00:07:26,802 --> 00:07:30,446
As evidenced by your boyfriend
and his fear of hamsters.
174
00:07:32,612 --> 00:07:34,649
If I were you,
I'd go for Fables number one.
175
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,303
The artwork is sophisticated,
it's intelligently written,
176
00:07:37,334 --> 00:07:39,516
and it doesn't objectify
or stereotype women.
177
00:07:39,547 --> 00:07:40,572
Ooh, Thor!
178
00:07:40,615 --> 00:07:42,681
He's hot.
179
00:07:43,459 --> 00:07:46,240
Yeah, he kind of is.
180
00:07:50,927 --> 00:07:52,754
And we're blending,
181
00:07:52,810 --> 00:07:54,677
and we're blending,
182
00:07:54,699 --> 00:07:56,780
and we're done.
183
00:08:00,993 --> 00:08:03,457
I know Mr. Data
isn't supposed to smile,
184
00:08:03,571 --> 00:08:05,649
but here it comes.
185
00:08:08,799 --> 00:08:10,118
Come on, guys.
186
00:08:10,143 --> 00:08:11,068
Let's do this.
187
00:08:11,087 --> 00:08:13,947
Yeah, I'm sweating
my bald cap off.
188
00:08:19,051 --> 00:08:20,515
So what's our first
pose going to be?
189
00:08:20,552 --> 00:08:23,322
I say we begin with a classic
Star Trek fight scene.
190
00:08:23,353 --> 00:08:25,269
I'll set the timer.
191
00:08:30,971 --> 00:08:32,962
Sheldon,
how is that a fight pose?
192
00:08:33,293 --> 00:08:35,785
Mr. Data's weapon is his mind.
193
00:08:36,036 --> 00:08:37,815
I'm wielding it.
194
00:08:45,084 --> 00:08:47,434
Phasers on the Borg!
195
00:08:49,802 --> 00:08:51,585
Charlie's Angels.
196
00:08:55,309 --> 00:08:56,864
Okay, what's next?
197
00:08:56,939 --> 00:08:59,615
Now let's do some sexy glamour shots.
198
00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:00,938
I'll set the mood.
199
00:09:01,078 --> 00:09:03,295
Oontz, oontz, oontz, oontz...
200
00:09:03,329 --> 00:09:06,997
oontz, oontz, oontz, oontz,
oontz, oontz, oontz, oontz...
201
00:09:07,042 --> 00:09:09,927
oontz, oontz, oontz,
oontz, oontz, oontz, oontz.
202
00:09:10,059 --> 00:09:11,991
Yeah, nice one.
203
00:09:12,034 --> 00:09:13,617
Oontz, oontz, oontz.
204
00:09:13,757 --> 00:09:15,363
That's right.
205
00:09:15,382 --> 00:09:17,326
Oontz, oontz, oontz.
206
00:09:17,358 --> 00:09:18,561
Oh, my God.
207
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,424
Leonard,
someone's stealing your car!
208
00:09:20,462 --> 00:09:22,864
What? Hey, hey!
209
00:09:22,907 --> 00:09:24,270
- Come back here!
- Stop!
210
00:09:24,295 --> 00:09:27,262
Stealing is against the law!
211
00:09:29,138 --> 00:09:30,726
I don't believe this.
212
00:09:30,751 --> 00:09:32,051
Son of a bitch.
213
00:09:32,082 --> 00:09:34,132
I'll call 911.
214
00:09:34,146 --> 00:09:34,957
Wha...
215
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,280
Oh, no, my phone is
in my other pants.
216
00:09:37,298 --> 00:09:39,048
Oh, so is mine.
Mine, too.
217
00:09:39,077 --> 00:09:40,660
Anybody got any ideas?
218
00:09:40,730 --> 00:09:41,851
Nope.
219
00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:44,624
The only thing left to
do now is assign blame.
220
00:09:44,704 --> 00:09:46,871
Nice going.
221
00:09:51,836 --> 00:09:55,342
What kind of a person steals another
person's car in broad daylight?
222
00:09:55,492 --> 00:09:58,076
What kind of person
leaves his keys in the car?
223
00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:00,390
I thought we agreed this was
all Koothrappali's fault.
224
00:10:00,418 --> 00:10:01,668
You're right.
225
00:10:01,832 --> 00:10:03,843
Nice going.
226
00:10:05,064 --> 00:10:06,520
Car.
227
00:10:12,948 --> 00:10:15,428
What is wrong with people?
Why don't they stop?
228
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,914
Maybe we're better off.
229
00:10:16,935 --> 00:10:19,719
What if we were to get in a car
with a crazy person?
230
00:10:19,771 --> 00:10:21,041
Look at us, Sheldon.
231
00:10:21,066 --> 00:10:23,074
We're the crazy people.
232
00:10:25,587 --> 00:10:28,582
Well, perhaps we should
hold up a sign
233
00:10:28,613 --> 00:10:32,149
that assures passing motorists
of our mental competence.
234
00:10:33,287 --> 00:10:34,238
Good idea.
235
00:10:34,269 --> 00:10:36,570
Why don't you
get started on that?
236
00:10:37,825 --> 00:10:39,726
Come on,
let's just start walking.
237
00:10:39,774 --> 00:10:42,624
There's got to be a gas station
or something nearby.
238
00:10:42,659 --> 00:10:46,072
What, you think just because you're wearing
a captain's uniform, you're in charge?
239
00:10:46,936 --> 00:10:48,650
Yes.
240
00:10:49,247 --> 00:10:51,230
All right.
241
00:11:01,221 --> 00:11:03,444
Hmm, okay, I'm done.
242
00:11:03,637 --> 00:11:05,319
How did you guys
finish so fast?
243
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:07,132
I don't know,
there were a lot of pictures,
244
00:11:07,157 --> 00:11:10,895
and one page only had
the word "brakkadoom!"
245
00:11:13,099 --> 00:11:15,708
Yeah, well,
I have street smarts.
246
00:11:16,245 --> 00:11:17,971
So, what'd you guys think?
247
00:11:18,008 --> 00:11:20,743
- Well, there was a lot of action,
- Mmm.
248
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:23,392
and the story moved along
at a brisk pace.
249
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:25,264
It was, overall...
250
00:11:25,295 --> 00:11:27,145
what's the word I'm looking for?
251
00:11:27,183 --> 00:11:29,013
- Stupid?
- So stupid.
252
00:11:29,977 --> 00:11:32,015
I don't know how Leonard can
get so caught up in this.
253
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,471
It's crazy; they spend hours
254
00:11:33,511 --> 00:11:35,661
arguing about things
that don't even exist.
255
00:11:35,687 --> 00:11:37,263
- What a waste of time.
- I know.
256
00:11:37,294 --> 00:11:39,862
A hammer so heavy that no
one else can pick it up?
257
00:11:42,226 --> 00:11:43,474
I don't think it's heavy.
258
00:11:43,492 --> 00:11:46,537
It's some sort of magic,
so only Thor can lift it.
259
00:11:46,568 --> 00:11:48,961
That makes even less
sense, I mean...
260
00:11:49,149 --> 00:11:52,889
No, no, no, it doesn't.
261
00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:54,545
Thor is a god.
262
00:11:54,586 --> 00:11:56,686
The hammer is his;
only he can use it.
263
00:11:56,764 --> 00:11:59,932
It's like Sheldon
and his toothbrush.
264
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:03,539
Or his thin, beckoning lips.
265
00:12:04,439 --> 00:12:07,448
Okay, hang on, what if
Thor's hand is on the hammer?
266
00:12:07,485 --> 00:12:09,448
I mean, if he's touching it
with his god magic,
267
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,012
does that mean I could lift it?
268
00:12:11,032 --> 00:12:13,750
- No.
- Yes.
269
00:12:14,264 --> 00:12:16,040
Well, which is it?
270
00:12:16,263 --> 00:12:18,169
Maybe we missed something.
271
00:12:18,191 --> 00:12:19,306
Let's read it again.
272
00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:21,607
- Okay.
- Yeah.
273
00:12:27,178 --> 00:12:28,466
You want some tea?
274
00:12:28,528 --> 00:12:30,324
Good idea. I'll help you.
275
00:12:31,550 --> 00:12:33,075
Wait, I thought we were reading.
276
00:12:33,104 --> 00:12:34,275
We are.
277
00:12:34,306 --> 00:12:37,911
We're just, uh,
giving you a head start.
278
00:12:47,506 --> 00:12:49,338
I wish my mom was here.
279
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:53,078
We could all hang out
in her shadow.
280
00:12:54,109 --> 00:12:56,293
Wool pants in the desert.
281
00:12:56,533 --> 00:12:59,868
I feel like I've got
poached testicles.
282
00:13:01,349 --> 00:13:03,740
Oh, you poor thing;
you're sweating.
283
00:13:03,758 --> 00:13:06,464
That's so much worse than
having your car stolen.
284
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,641
Insurance is gonna buy you
a new car.
285
00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:11,500
It's not gonna
de-funk my junk.
286
00:13:12,113 --> 00:13:13,766
Gentlemen,
287
00:13:13,933 --> 00:13:15,716
a little less bellyaching.
288
00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:17,388
We're Starfleet officers
289
00:13:17,418 --> 00:13:19,552
and a member
of the Borg Collective.
290
00:13:19,584 --> 00:13:22,535
Please, Sheldon,
I am so not in the mood.
291
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:26,082
Leonard,
all our lives we have dreamed
292
00:13:26,107 --> 00:13:27,373
of finding ourselves
293
00:13:27,418 --> 00:13:30,252
inside one of
the fantasy worlds we love.
294
00:13:30,398 --> 00:13:32,104
And look at us.
295
00:13:32,128 --> 00:13:34,019
At this moment, we are, in fact,
296
00:13:34,048 --> 00:13:36,036
a Star Trek landing party
297
00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:39,843
stranded in an alien
and unforgiving environment,
298
00:13:40,134 --> 00:13:42,846
relying only on our wits,
our fortitude
299
00:13:42,874 --> 00:13:44,540
and our moxie.
300
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:46,618
As long as we have
those things,
301
00:13:46,643 --> 00:13:48,977
- nothing can stop...
- Nerds!
302
00:13:55,258 --> 00:13:57,425
I hate this planet.
303
00:14:02,693 --> 00:14:04,443
It says right here
on the hammer,
304
00:14:04,481 --> 00:14:06,789
"Whoever holds this hammer,
if he be worthy,
305
00:14:06,820 --> 00:14:08,604
shall possess
the power of Thor."
306
00:14:08,741 --> 00:14:10,625
Hold on,
who decides who's worthy?
307
00:14:10,643 --> 00:14:11,875
Does the hammer decide?
308
00:14:11,902 --> 00:14:13,235
- Yes!
- No!
309
00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:16,701
It can't decide.
310
00:14:16,718 --> 00:14:19,172
- It's a hammer.
- You said it's a magic hammer.
311
00:14:19,197 --> 00:14:20,947
Yeah, it can't make decisions.
312
00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:22,459
If Harry Potter's wand
can make decisions,
313
00:14:22,471 --> 00:14:24,352
why can't Thor's hammer?
314
00:14:24,482 --> 00:14:27,571
Okay, if you're going to start
comparing wands and hammers,
315
00:14:27,702 --> 00:14:30,801
I can't even take you seriously.
316
00:14:47,871 --> 00:14:49,730
Hello.
317
00:14:50,733 --> 00:14:52,526
Hello.
318
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:56,913
Uh, four glasses
of water, please.
319
00:14:58,008 --> 00:15:00,412
Anything for you guys?
320
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,955
Can I use your phone?
Our car got stolen.
321
00:15:04,144 --> 00:15:06,194
Why don't you ask Scotty
to beam you up?
322
00:15:09,111 --> 00:15:11,812
Scotty was on the
original series,
323
00:15:11,836 --> 00:15:14,536
and we're Next Generation.
324
00:15:14,858 --> 00:15:18,743
So... joke's on you.
325
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,940
We're not with him.
326
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:30,556
You can't pick something up
in outer space.
327
00:15:30,592 --> 00:15:32,184
In space, there is no up.
328
00:15:32,221 --> 00:15:35,755
Oh, yeah? Then how does
the sun come "up" every day?
329
00:15:37,468 --> 00:15:40,520
Hard to argue with those kind
of street smarts.
330
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:47,402
Leonard and Sheldon have boxes
of comics across the hall.
331
00:15:47,433 --> 00:15:48,527
Why don't we go look at those?
332
00:15:48,552 --> 00:15:50,385
Oh, great! Yes!
And then you will see.
333
00:15:50,412 --> 00:15:53,272
I am not wrong, because
if we were in outer space,
334
00:15:53,297 --> 00:15:54,638
then anyone
could pick up the hammer
335
00:15:54,656 --> 00:15:57,475
because it would be floating around
in a weightless environment.
336
00:15:57,506 --> 00:15:59,462
Yeah, that's right, the
slow reader used science.
337
00:15:59,512 --> 00:16:00,929
Suck on that.
338
00:16:04,072 --> 00:16:05,878
Was there anything
valuable in the car?
339
00:16:05,909 --> 00:16:08,465
Our clothes,
our wallets, phones.
340
00:16:08,484 --> 00:16:10,410
And about $300 worth of makeup,
341
00:16:10,444 --> 00:16:13,481
so this thief could look like
anyone right now.
342
00:16:15,214 --> 00:16:16,296
Makeup?
343
00:16:16,319 --> 00:16:17,985
Sure.
344
00:16:20,007 --> 00:16:22,627
Uh, we're going to the Comic-Con
in Bakersfield.
345
00:16:22,654 --> 00:16:24,720
They have a big costume contest.
346
00:16:25,557 --> 00:16:27,874
It's cooler than it sounds.
347
00:16:28,775 --> 00:16:31,703
I don't know,
sounds pretty cool.
348
00:16:32,041 --> 00:16:33,874
I-It is.
349
00:16:33,895 --> 00:16:34,943
It's not just comic books.
350
00:16:34,967 --> 00:16:36,631
They've got
action figures, toys,
351
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:39,531
a Tron-themed dance party...
- Okay, he gets how cool it is.
352
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,935
I think I have all I need here.
353
00:16:42,967 --> 00:16:44,573
You guys need me
to call someone?
354
00:16:44,607 --> 00:16:47,608
I'm guessing your moms?
355
00:16:49,529 --> 00:16:51,408
Thanks,
but we've got it covered.
356
00:16:51,429 --> 00:16:54,646
Okay, I just talked to my mom.
357
00:16:58,007 --> 00:16:59,954
She arranged for us
to get a rental car.
358
00:16:59,987 --> 00:17:01,037
Great.
359
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,695
We can still make it
to Comic-Con.
360
00:17:02,820 --> 00:17:03,900
Are you kidding me?
361
00:17:03,924 --> 00:17:06,124
After all we've been through,
I just want to go home.
362
00:17:06,263 --> 00:17:07,437
Don't be like that.
363
00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:09,099
Come on, Howard, talk to him.
364
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:10,753
I'm with Leonard.
365
00:17:10,772 --> 00:17:12,466
I'm done.
366
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:15,367
Fine, then I guess
it's two against two.
367
00:17:15,392 --> 00:17:17,233
How do we decide?
368
00:17:18,603 --> 00:17:20,660
Actually,
it's three against one.
369
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:21,635
What?!
370
00:17:21,660 --> 00:17:22,849
What about the mission?
371
00:17:22,882 --> 00:17:24,681
You said we were
a real-life landing party.
372
00:17:24,705 --> 00:17:26,521
Yeah, well, we're not.
373
00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:28,772
We're an imaginary landing party
374
00:17:29,134 --> 00:17:31,166
who had real-life garbage
thrown at us
375
00:17:31,191 --> 00:17:33,942
by real-life strangers
who think we're idiots.
376
00:17:34,952 --> 00:17:37,943
And to tell you the truth,
I'm starting to feel like one.
377
00:17:38,352 --> 00:17:40,919
I want to go home now.
378
00:17:41,815 --> 00:17:43,409
Okay.
379
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:47,564
Did we at least rent the car
from Enterprise?
380
00:17:49,813 --> 00:17:52,147
Get it? Enterprise?
381
00:17:53,211 --> 00:17:55,879
Screw you. That's funny.
382
00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:00,737
Well, what if the
Hulk picked up Thor
383
00:18:00,761 --> 00:18:02,531
while Thor is
holding the hammer?
384
00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:03,469
Yeah?
385
00:18:03,488 --> 00:18:04,887
Then by the transitive property
386
00:18:04,921 --> 00:18:08,056
of picking things up,
Hulk picked up the hammer.
387
00:18:09,239 --> 00:18:10,145
No.
388
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:12,302
Hulk picked up Thor,
Thor picked up the hammer.
389
00:18:12,327 --> 00:18:13,409
Okay, hang on.
390
00:18:13,512 --> 00:18:15,139
If I go to a bar
and pick up a guy,
391
00:18:15,158 --> 00:18:17,081
and he picks up a girl,
and then we all leave together,
392
00:18:17,106 --> 00:18:19,139
did I pick up the girl?
393
00:18:23,378 --> 00:18:25,998
Did that ever happen?
394
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,825
Hey, are we talking about me
or are we talking about Thor?
395
00:18:37,017 --> 00:18:40,470
Well, I say that's the last time
we ever go outside.
396
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:41,950
Look, right here.
397
00:18:42,003 --> 00:18:43,943
Red Hulk is picking
up Thor's hammer
398
00:18:43,974 --> 00:18:45,423
'cause Thor's touching it.
399
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,924
No, it's because
they're in space.
400
00:18:47,945 --> 00:18:49,637
He's really
just touching the strap.
401
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:52,545
- The strap is part of the hammer!
- No, it's not!
402
00:18:53,364 --> 00:18:56,432
Are they actually arguing
about comic books?
403
00:18:56,466 --> 00:18:57,982
No, that can't be right.
404
00:18:58,122 --> 00:18:59,658
Maybe "Thor's Hammer"
405
00:18:59,677 --> 00:19:02,825
is a new color of nail polish.
406
00:19:03,571 --> 00:19:05,380
Then Red Hulk must be worthy.
407
00:19:05,404 --> 00:19:07,404
How could Red Hulk be worthy?
408
00:19:07,535 --> 00:19:09,819
You don't know his life!
409
00:19:14,367 --> 00:19:16,275
There's only one
logical explanation.
410
00:19:16,290 --> 00:19:18,424
Somewhere in the desert
we crossed
411
00:19:18,445 --> 00:19:20,539
into an alternate dimension...
412
00:19:20,654 --> 00:19:22,200
where the women in our lives
413
00:19:22,225 --> 00:19:25,193
can finally appreciate
great literature.
414
00:19:26,668 --> 00:19:29,036
If it's an
alternate dimension...
415
00:19:29,331 --> 00:19:32,442
sounds like a job
for a landing party.
416
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,744
Captain, what are your orders?
417
00:19:40,151 --> 00:19:42,639
I say we investigate.
418
00:19:45,093 --> 00:19:46,477
Wait.
419
00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:51,098
They might be hostile.
420
00:19:53,035 --> 00:19:54,651
Fine, but set them to stun.
421
00:19:54,797 --> 00:19:56,130
If we vaporize Penny,
422
00:19:56,163 --> 00:19:58,130
I'll never find a girlfriend
that pretty again.
423
00:20:06,868 --> 00:20:08,578
Fun fact:
424
00:20:08,809 --> 00:20:12,869
President Eisenhower signed
the Federal Aid Highway Act
425
00:20:12,890 --> 00:20:15,491
from his hospital room.
426
00:20:15,536 --> 00:20:18,587
Wow, that is interesting.
427
00:20:19,667 --> 00:20:22,618
You learn something new
every day.
428
00:20:23,062 --> 00:20:25,479
Say, can you
name the four state capitols
429
00:20:25,512 --> 00:20:29,002
that are not served
by the interstate system?
430
00:20:29,139 --> 00:20:32,424
Ooh, another quiz.
Yes!
431
00:20:32,455 --> 00:20:37,455
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther