1
00:00:00,413 --> 00:00:03,743
To me, the Sixers are a five seat tops.

2
00:00:04,064 --> 00:00:05,727
I think they're going
to the Conference finals.

3
00:00:05,746 --> 00:00:08,546
- No.
- Bynum, an obvious monster.

4
00:00:08,616 --> 00:00:11,000
At three-point shooting,
don't even--

5
00:00:11,327 --> 00:00:14,183
I bit my lip at lunch today.

6
00:00:14,758 --> 00:00:17,527
Sucks.
Anyway, I just don't see it.

7
00:00:17,545 --> 00:00:18,845
The Knicks are tough.

8
00:00:19,207 --> 00:00:22,274
- The Nets are tough.
- Oh, the Nets are super tough.

9
00:00:22,276 --> 00:00:26,157
Now I have this big bump
on my lip that hurts.

10
00:00:26,362 --> 00:00:28,182
I hate it.

11
00:00:28,283 --> 00:00:32,066
The Hawks are terrible.
They're always terrible.

12
00:00:32,103 --> 00:00:33,759
Okay, you need
to think about it

13
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:37,118
before you come with the--

14
00:00:38,856 --> 00:00:41,119
Whatever.
It's not a big deal.

15
00:00:41,151 --> 00:00:42,500
You know, I always tell
my three-year-old,

16
00:00:42,518 --> 00:00:44,268
if this is the worst thing
that's gonna happen--

17
00:00:44,315 --> 00:00:45,884
You gotta be kidding me!

18
00:00:45,909 --> 00:00:51,190
Okay. Pam, that's it.
I'm going home.

19
00:00:51,642 --> 00:00:54,209
[Cheerful music]

20
00:00:59,065 --> 00:01:01,369
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

21
00:01:02,947 --> 00:01:05,050
Morning, Meredith.

22
00:01:05,336 --> 00:01:06,385
What?

23
00:01:06,562 --> 00:01:08,501
Oh, sorry. Pam.

24
00:01:08,543 --> 00:01:10,293
Yikes.

25
00:01:10,995 --> 00:01:13,664
Jim's been spending
a few days a week in Philly,

26
00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:17,165
and I'm not gonna lie--
it's been challenging.

27
00:01:19,339 --> 00:01:21,596
Yesterday, things took
a turn for the worse.

28
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:25,577
I found out Cece has lice,
so I was up all night,

29
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:29,236
disinfecting every sheet,
towel, toy,

30
00:01:29,267 --> 00:01:31,818
item of clothing
in the entire house.

31
00:01:32,113 --> 00:01:35,944
I'm exhausted.
But don't tell Jim.

32
00:01:36,083 --> 00:01:40,402
He has a huge meeting today,
under a lot of pressure,

33
00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:43,645
and he's doing it all
for the family.

34
00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:45,941
I am meeting
Dr. J today,

35
00:01:46,124 --> 00:01:47,740
otherwise known
as Julius Erving,

36
00:01:47,768 --> 00:01:50,986
famed 76er
and my own personal hero.

37
00:01:51,031 --> 00:01:53,219
But I have to be careful
not to rub it in Pam's face

38
00:01:53,267 --> 00:01:56,118
because, let's be honest,
how would I feel

39
00:01:56,143 --> 00:01:57,775
if I was at home,
stuck with the kids

40
00:01:57,787 --> 00:02:01,973
while she was go-karting
with John Stamos?

41
00:02:02,049 --> 00:02:04,218
You sound tired.
Everything okay?

42
00:02:04,261 --> 00:02:06,112
Great.
Everything's great.

43
00:02:06,137 --> 00:02:08,214
Hey, are you nervous
about your big meeting?

44
00:02:08,235 --> 00:02:09,693
Uh, a little bit.

45
00:02:09,711 --> 00:02:11,561
It's a lot of pressure,
you know?

46
00:02:11,642 --> 00:02:13,341
But that's what
I signed up for, right?

47
00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:16,989
- Jim, the limo's here.
- Uh, you know what?

48
00:02:17,018 --> 00:02:18,852
I gotta hop off because my, uh,

49
00:02:18,874 --> 00:02:21,438
taxi is here to take me
to the meeting.

50
00:02:21,481 --> 00:02:22,906
- Oh, call me later.
- Okay.

51
00:02:22,931 --> 00:02:23,812
- Good luck.
- Thanks.

52
00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:26,010
- I love you.
- Love you too. Bye.

53
00:02:26,169 --> 00:02:27,836
[Mouths words]

54
00:02:27,875 --> 00:02:29,132
How are you doing?

55
00:02:29,156 --> 00:02:31,339
Okay. I mean,
it's what you want, so--

56
00:02:31,341 --> 00:02:34,926
- It's how it has to be.
- I know, I know.

57
00:02:35,003 --> 00:02:36,247
It's just hard.

58
00:02:36,274 --> 00:02:38,401
Me and Val were going nowhere,

59
00:02:38,515 --> 00:02:40,390
and if I'm gonna be
working in Philly,

60
00:02:40,415 --> 00:02:41,863
I'm gonna need my freedom,

61
00:02:41,958 --> 00:02:44,082
so I convinced Val
to break up with me.

62
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,242
Here's how you do it.

63
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:47,822
You say, "What are you gonna do,
break up with me?"

64
00:02:48,017 --> 00:02:49,332
Like, as a joke.

65
00:02:49,363 --> 00:02:51,299
And then you gain
a lot of weight.

66
00:02:51,415 --> 00:02:53,888
I'll never be sorry,
not for a moment of it.

67
00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:56,378
Me neither.
Come here.

68
00:02:59,184 --> 00:03:01,715
Hey, Meredith, I need
your supply requests today.

69
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:02,847
Jeez H in the morning,

70
00:03:02,871 --> 00:03:04,555
will you stop your nagging
already?

71
00:03:04,589 --> 00:03:05,838
No wonder Jim left you.

72
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:10,255
He didn't leave me.
He just went part-time.

73
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,567
Can you just fill out
the form, please?

74
00:03:13,644 --> 00:03:16,452
Yes.
[Scratching]

75
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,835
I'm sure she's just confused.

76
00:03:19,056 --> 00:03:22,381
People scratch their heads
when they're confused.

77
00:03:22,742 --> 00:03:25,242
Not always like an ape,
the way Meredith just did,

78
00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:26,916
but it happens.

79
00:03:27,115 --> 00:03:28,385
Hurry up already.

80
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:29,992
Trust me,
I know what I'm doing.

81
00:03:30,025 --> 00:03:31,825
Between the foster homes
and the orphanage,

82
00:03:31,852 --> 00:03:34,000
I had lice 22 times.

83
00:03:34,019 --> 00:03:34,907
[Gasps]

84
00:03:34,925 --> 00:03:36,259
Holy wow, that's a big one.

85
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:38,617
All right, pencils down,
everyone-- we've got lice.

86
00:03:38,631 --> 00:03:39,765
[Groans]

87
00:03:39,790 --> 00:03:41,665
Oh, God, Meredith!
Lice?

88
00:03:41,697 --> 00:03:43,897
Did you not sign
a pledge to shower?

89
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:48,093
What? Lice?
Oh, my God.

90
00:03:48,138 --> 00:03:50,692
Lock the doors.
We're on full quarantine.

91
00:03:50,711 --> 00:03:53,092
Dwight, relax.
It's just lice.

92
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,425
Maybe, possibly.

93
00:03:54,462 --> 00:03:57,094
Just lice, Pam?

94
00:03:57,213 --> 00:03:59,796
Of all of the vermin
in God's great green kingdom,

95
00:03:59,857 --> 00:04:02,141
lice are the ones
I detest the most.

96
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:04,418
My first day of school,
I had lice,

97
00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:06,128
and no one would play with me.

98
00:04:06,211 --> 00:04:08,877
For 15 years,
they called me "freak"

99
00:04:08,907 --> 00:04:11,946
and "four eyes" and "sci-fi
nerd" and "girl puncher,"

100
00:04:11,979 --> 00:04:14,766
all because I had lice
when I was seven.

101
00:04:15,014 --> 00:04:17,367
- Make way. No. Inspect me.
- Dwight!

102
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:22,149
Oh, this is the cleanest scalp
I've ever seen.

103
00:04:22,183 --> 00:04:23,613
- You are all clear.
- I should be.

104
00:04:23,644 --> 00:04:25,332
I use lice shampoo
every morning.

105
00:04:25,392 --> 00:04:26,244
[Sprays]

106
00:04:26,263 --> 00:04:27,113
- Hey!
- Oh!

107
00:04:27,138 --> 00:04:28,855
- Stop that!
- Dwight!

108
00:04:29,226 --> 00:04:30,944
[Coughs]
Next.

109
00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:33,296
Jeez, Meredith, you know,
this is an office.

110
00:04:33,321 --> 00:04:35,257
It's not one
of your bean-bag orgies.

111
00:04:35,291 --> 00:04:36,691
Uh, let's give her a break.

112
00:04:36,727 --> 00:04:39,193
We don't know for sure
this is Meredith's fault.

113
00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:42,288
Pam, really?
Come on.

114
00:04:42,403 --> 00:04:44,637
Hey, what do you want?
I know who I am.

115
00:04:44,771 --> 00:04:47,739
Nobody's taking Meredith Palmer
to the opera to meet the queen.

116
00:04:47,771 --> 00:04:48,562
- Lice.
- [Gasps]

117
00:04:48,586 --> 00:04:49,599
- More lice.
- [Groans]

118
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,773
- Angela has lice.
- Ew! Oh! [Groans]

119
00:04:52,832 --> 00:04:56,589
Ooh, yabber. Lice.
Yikers. Lice.

120
00:04:56,773 --> 00:05:00,617
No. How?
I am so clean.

121
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,384
- Oh, yeah. Big-time lice.
- Aah!

122
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,686
I wash my hands at least
six times a day.

123
00:05:04,744 --> 00:05:05,820
Toilet seat covers?

124
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:07,484
Yes, thank you,
even when I pee.

125
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,670
Apparently, none of that
is protection enough,

126
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:11,606
not when it comes to Meredith.

127
00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:14,346
[Subdued chatter]

128
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:15,936
- Ooh.
- Oh.

129
00:05:16,033 --> 00:05:17,571
Hey, what are you wearing?

130
00:05:17,623 --> 00:05:18,935
It's a hazmat suit.

131
00:05:18,972 --> 00:05:23,818
That stands for hazardous
materials men's suit wearing.

132
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,754
If you rent more than four times a year,
it just makes sense to buy.

133
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:31,720
Is there anyone else here
that is lice-free?

134
00:05:32,122 --> 00:05:34,316
Excellent. You have
your own hazmat suits?

135
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,453
- No.
- No.

136
00:05:35,484 --> 00:05:37,253
Ugh. Renters.

137
00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:39,395
Okay, I'm gonna need you
to gather your belongings,

138
00:05:39,433 --> 00:05:41,326
retreat to the warehouse.

139
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:43,280
Conduct your business there

140
00:05:43,313 --> 00:05:45,607
until the infected
have been de-loused.

141
00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:46,540
Let's get going.

142
00:05:46,571 --> 00:05:48,004
I'm gonna stay here and fight.

143
00:05:48,044 --> 00:05:50,244
If you don't hear from me
by lunch, call me.

144
00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:51,840
I might want lunch.

145
00:05:51,886 --> 00:05:54,436
All right. We're going
down to my warehouse.

146
00:05:54,456 --> 00:05:56,540
That means we're playing
by my rules.

147
00:05:56,605 --> 00:05:58,031
No messing with the baler,

148
00:05:58,070 --> 00:05:59,395
and be cool
in front of me and Val.

149
00:05:59,418 --> 00:06:01,115
We just broke up.
[Gasps]

150
00:06:01,140 --> 00:06:02,315
You got dumped?

151
00:06:02,346 --> 00:06:05,182
- Yeah, she ended things.
- Break-ups are the worst.

152
00:06:05,219 --> 00:06:06,586
The only thing
that got me through mine

153
00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:08,711
was large amounts
of Shepherd's pie and Brandy.

154
00:06:08,931 --> 00:06:10,864
The singer, not the drink.

155
00:06:11,341 --> 00:06:12,920
Here, man.

156
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,274
You need them more than me.

157
00:06:15,305 --> 00:06:17,657
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah.

158
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,272
Guys, I think we should
all ease up on Meredith.

159
00:06:23,314 --> 00:06:24,819
This has got to be hard
for her.

160
00:06:24,850 --> 00:06:25,951
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

161
00:06:25,976 --> 00:06:28,049
I have not yet begun to shame.

162
00:06:28,084 --> 00:06:30,515
That's it. I'm getting my stuff.
I'm leaving for the day.

163
00:06:30,565 --> 00:06:33,817
No, Stanley, if you leave now,
then you'll get it in your car,

164
00:06:33,848 --> 00:06:35,086
and then you'll get it
in your house!

165
00:06:35,114 --> 00:06:36,086
Get off me.

166
00:06:36,117 --> 00:06:37,891
I'm trying to save you
from yourself!

167
00:06:37,916 --> 00:06:40,333
All right, I'll stay!

168
00:06:40,460 --> 00:06:43,428
There's a pencil
poking in my rolls.

169
00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:45,773
Maybe it was Meredith.

170
00:06:45,804 --> 00:06:48,120
Maybe she brought in lice
that are totally different

171
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,742
than the lice that I got
from Cece.

172
00:06:50,850 --> 00:06:52,921
So let's not jump
to the simplest conclusion

173
00:06:52,943 --> 00:06:54,977
that she got her lice from me.

174
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:57,968
That is how wars get started.

175
00:06:59,895 --> 00:07:01,775
Fine, I'll tell her it was me.

176
00:07:03,619 --> 00:07:06,107
Oh, man.
That's fresh-squeezed.

177
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:08,595
And are all the snacks
complimentary?

178
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,796
Yeah, take some home
if you want.

179
00:07:11,041 --> 00:07:14,175
Oh, no, no, no.
That's okay. I...

180
00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:23,849
Um, I'm sorry.
Is this the conference center?

181
00:07:23,894 --> 00:07:25,510
No.
Mr. Erving called.

182
00:07:25,537 --> 00:07:28,508
Said he's rather meet you
at his private court.

183
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:31,597
You gotta be kidding me.

184
00:07:33,231 --> 00:07:34,265
[Electric razor buzzing]

185
00:07:34,289 --> 00:07:35,715
Hey, Meredith, I need
to tell you something.

186
00:07:35,739 --> 00:07:36,844
Yeah, Pam?
What do you want?

187
00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,639
Oh, my God.
Meredith, what are you doing?

188
00:07:38,705 --> 00:07:40,538
Bakin' a cake. What does it
look like I'm doing?

189
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,991
- Getting rid of the lice.
- Oh, stop! I'm so sorry!

190
00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:44,470
[Microwave oven beeps]
Oh, can you hold that thought?

191
00:07:44,489 --> 00:07:45,545
That's my wax.

192
00:07:45,563 --> 00:07:48,555
You know, I think these critters
migrated from down south.

193
00:07:49,715 --> 00:07:51,265
What were you saying?

194
00:07:51,530 --> 00:07:52,718
Nothing.

195
00:07:52,798 --> 00:07:54,298
I'm going to tell her,

196
00:07:54,337 --> 00:07:56,954
but now is clearly
not the time.

197
00:07:57,044 --> 00:08:00,375
I will buy her a wig,
we'll have a few laughs.

198
00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:03,548
There's a right way to do this.

199
00:08:05,211 --> 00:08:08,286
Scalp leeches, skull vampires,

200
00:08:08,311 --> 00:08:11,095
follicle gypsies, hair lawyers.

201
00:08:11,126 --> 00:08:13,633
One thing is clear--
it's kill or be killed!

202
00:08:13,664 --> 00:08:15,881
No, no, no. It's more
of a nuisance, really.

203
00:08:15,927 --> 00:08:17,388
It's not that big a deal.

204
00:08:17,469 --> 00:08:19,194
So I've collected
your hats and your coats...

205
00:08:19,225 --> 00:08:21,315
- To be burned!
- ...to be washed.

206
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:22,998
What do we do about our heads?

207
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,585
I'm not gonna lie.
Lye!

208
00:08:25,611 --> 00:08:27,799
No.
All we need is mayonnaise.

209
00:08:27,836 --> 00:08:30,733
- Excuse me?
- She's right. It works.

210
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,378
I would imagine.

211
00:08:32,426 --> 00:08:35,081
Yes. It helps to suffocate
the little buddies,

212
00:08:35,118 --> 00:08:36,625
and it's
a really healthy alternative

213
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,213
to the chemicals found
in most lice shampoos.

214
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,539
I can appreciate that.

215
00:08:40,557 --> 00:08:44,434
I also only eat
local organic produce.

216
00:08:45,565 --> 00:08:48,182
Sha-boom!
How do you like me now?

217
00:08:48,208 --> 00:08:49,795
- Oh!
- Wow!

218
00:08:49,839 --> 00:08:51,370
Take a picture.
It'll last longer.

219
00:08:51,407 --> 00:08:53,964
We don't want it
to last longer. It's horrible.

220
00:08:54,015 --> 00:08:56,215
- Bald people make me sick.
- Yeah, yeah.

221
00:08:56,217 --> 00:08:57,948
Everybody pile on Meredith.

222
00:08:57,973 --> 00:08:59,467
But I'm the only one
with the balls

223
00:08:59,493 --> 00:09:02,505
to show them lice who's boss.

224
00:09:03,311 --> 00:09:04,480
Okay, nobody panic.

225
00:09:04,526 --> 00:09:06,628
If everybody just follows
my instructions,

226
00:09:06,659 --> 00:09:08,476
then nobody else
needs to end up bald.

227
00:09:08,644 --> 00:09:10,275
Not that it looks bad,
Meredith.

228
00:09:10,312 --> 00:09:12,779
It looks--
it looks awesome.

229
00:09:12,821 --> 00:09:15,539
You look like a baby
who suddenly aged 50 years.

230
00:09:15,575 --> 00:09:19,106
A cute baby, but something
sucked the life force out of it.

231
00:09:19,152 --> 00:09:20,625
I'm so sorry.
We need mayonnaise.

232
00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:22,820
- We need it now.
- Oh, uh, uh, I'll go.

233
00:09:22,850 --> 00:09:24,021
- Okay.
- Oh, thank you.

234
00:09:24,052 --> 00:09:25,957
- You're a saint, Pam.
- No, it's not a big deal, please, no.

235
00:09:25,994 --> 00:09:28,127
Uh, Meredith, could I get you
something special

236
00:09:28,149 --> 00:09:29,265
while I'm at the store?

237
00:09:29,279 --> 00:09:32,367
Candy or-- or one
of those stylish turbans?

238
00:09:32,391 --> 00:09:33,311
Thanks, Pam.

239
00:09:33,352 --> 00:09:34,683
I'll take a pack
of Nicorette gum

240
00:09:34,710 --> 00:09:35,816
and a pack of Kools.

241
00:09:35,855 --> 00:09:37,729
Okay.

242
00:09:40,515 --> 00:09:42,967
Let's talk pubes, people.

243
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,731
- Hey, Darryl.
- Oh, hey, Val.

244
00:09:50,581 --> 00:09:53,466
Darryl.
Oh, that was tragic.

245
00:09:53,630 --> 00:09:56,395
Oh, that was like a car crash.
I couldn't look away.

246
00:09:56,693 --> 00:09:59,465
You two still clearly have
feelings for each other.

247
00:09:59,596 --> 00:10:00,502
Yeah.

248
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,471
What's gonna make you
feel better, big guy?

249
00:10:02,507 --> 00:10:05,788
When I was a kid, my grandmother
used to make me chocolate cake

250
00:10:05,819 --> 00:10:07,388
when I wasn't feeling good.

251
00:10:07,437 --> 00:10:09,288
She's not around to do that
anymore.

252
00:10:09,311 --> 00:10:10,118
I'm sorry.

253
00:10:10,149 --> 00:10:15,018
I just need a moment to myself,
just to clear my head.

254
00:10:15,784 --> 00:10:17,276
Oh, poor Darryl.

255
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:18,903
I can't bear to see him
suffer like this.

256
00:10:18,921 --> 00:10:21,922
I think he needs some hugs

257
00:10:22,024 --> 00:10:24,147
and maybe some chocolate cake.

258
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:28,170
Mmm. This won't help him.
It's a muffin, not cake.

259
00:10:28,297 --> 00:10:30,785
Listen, let's try and get Darryl
the one thing in the world

260
00:10:30,816 --> 00:10:33,333
he clearly wants
and needs the most.

261
00:10:33,358 --> 00:10:37,260
- An Escalade.
- Or what's her name.

262
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,044
Val.

263
00:10:39,078 --> 00:10:41,318
Let's get Darryl Val.

264
00:10:42,173 --> 00:10:43,936
I hope you don't mind me
bringing you out here.

265
00:10:43,961 --> 00:10:45,570
I can't get my knees
under a desk.

266
00:10:45,617 --> 00:10:46,743
Are you kidding me?

267
00:10:46,782 --> 00:10:48,376
I could literally
scalp tickets to this.

268
00:10:48,413 --> 00:10:50,457
Well, you think you could
sink one from deep?

269
00:10:50,673 --> 00:10:53,263
Listen, I don't mean
to intimidate you,

270
00:10:53,303 --> 00:10:55,281
but I did play
a little high school ball.

271
00:10:55,469 --> 00:10:57,481
Okay.

272
00:10:59,324 --> 00:11:02,756
Wow. Halpert's got game.
All right.

273
00:11:02,793 --> 00:11:05,677
[Cell phone rings]
Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry.

274
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:07,412
This is my wife.
Can I take this?

275
00:11:07,431 --> 00:11:09,397
If it's your wife,
you better take it.

276
00:11:09,438 --> 00:11:12,339
Right?
[Laughs]

277
00:11:12,555 --> 00:11:15,156
Hey, what's up?
Everything okay?

278
00:11:15,162 --> 00:11:16,828
Oh, no.
Everything's great.

279
00:11:16,855 --> 00:11:19,525
Um, I was just calling to see,
uh, how the meeting went.

280
00:11:19,549 --> 00:11:21,968
Oh, it's still happening
right now, actually, so--

281
00:11:22,006 --> 00:11:24,173
He's, uh, really making you
work for it, huh?

282
00:11:24,196 --> 00:11:28,150
Yes, it is very stressful.
Are you sure everything's okay?

283
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:30,736
Great.
I am killing it over here.

284
00:11:30,753 --> 00:11:32,538
[Splat]

285
00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:36,051
- Jim, I gotta go.
- Okay, bye.

286
00:11:36,353 --> 00:11:38,084
- So sorry about that.
- Oh, no problem.

287
00:11:38,124 --> 00:11:39,740
Hey, Jim, what size
do you wear, man?

288
00:11:39,762 --> 00:11:42,480
I got a pair of Japanese Nikes
with your name on 'em.

289
00:11:42,638 --> 00:11:45,386
- What do you think?
- I love it.

290
00:11:45,667 --> 00:11:48,305
Once it's all over your head,
just leave it there for four hours.

291
00:11:48,317 --> 00:11:51,284
That will be enough time
for the lice to fall asleep,

292
00:11:51,407 --> 00:11:53,607
suffocate, and then pass away.

293
00:11:53,653 --> 00:11:55,127
Oh, sure.

294
00:11:55,164 --> 00:11:57,652
And when you're ready
to get serious,

295
00:11:57,784 --> 00:12:00,803
come to me
to get it done right.

296
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:04,188
Put those away
before you hurt yourself.

297
00:12:04,806 --> 00:12:05,805
[Fabric rips]

298
00:12:05,838 --> 00:12:08,706
- [Gasps]
- Oh, God. Oh, no.

299
00:12:09,552 --> 00:12:12,531
No. No!

300
00:12:12,687 --> 00:12:16,021
No! No! No!

301
00:12:16,048 --> 00:12:19,416
No! No!

302
00:12:19,542 --> 00:12:22,736
Okay, it's easier with a buddy,
so everybody pair up.

303
00:12:22,805 --> 00:12:25,426
Oscar, you want to be
my partner?

304
00:12:25,658 --> 00:12:28,458
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
I'd love to.

305
00:12:28,692 --> 00:12:31,101
Hey, uh, mayo buddy, $5 tip,

306
00:12:31,132 --> 00:12:33,441
you unclog my ears, okay?

307
00:12:33,501 --> 00:12:35,584
Oh, Creed, I'm so sorry.

308
00:12:35,618 --> 00:12:38,035
I'm-- I'm already partners
with Pete. Right, Pete?

309
00:12:38,074 --> 00:12:39,566
Uh, yeah.

310
00:12:39,734 --> 00:12:41,401
We promised each other
if we ever got lice,

311
00:12:41,432 --> 00:12:44,170
we'd buddy up, so, sorry, man.

312
00:12:46,094 --> 00:12:49,397
Hey, Creed.
Want to be my buddy?

313
00:12:49,462 --> 00:12:52,263
Oh, God.
Stuck with the weirdo.

314
00:12:52,665 --> 00:12:54,375
[Sighs]

315
00:12:56,956 --> 00:12:57,955
[Hard slaps]

316
00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:58,869
Angela.

317
00:12:58,888 --> 00:13:01,272
You don't want bugs, you know?

318
00:13:01,394 --> 00:13:04,976
Who knows where those bugs
will end up.

319
00:13:05,264 --> 00:13:07,798
You're getting a bargain.
I ain't got no hair no more.

320
00:13:07,825 --> 00:13:09,995
[Sighs]

321
00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:14,853
Creed, I'm all done.
My turn.

322
00:13:14,874 --> 00:13:18,041
I'm sorry, Pam.
It looks a little messy.

323
00:13:18,236 --> 00:13:20,337
Well, wait.

324
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:26,062
- How's that?
- I feel it working.

325
00:13:26,226 --> 00:13:28,292
[Both grunt]

326
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,083
Ksk, ksk, ksk, ksk, ksk.

327
00:13:30,124 --> 00:13:32,553
- Eiffel tower.
- Oh! [Laughs]

328
00:13:32,592 --> 00:13:34,316
Now.

329
00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:36,566
Can I help you?

330
00:13:36,629 --> 00:13:37,779
- Well--
- Um--

331
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:38,995
We don't want to pry,

332
00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:40,681
but we heard you broke up
with Darryl.

333
00:13:40,712 --> 00:13:41,928
Yeah, that's true.

334
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,822
We think you made
a big, big mistake.

335
00:13:43,858 --> 00:13:46,075
- Big mistake.
- Quite enormous.

336
00:13:46,096 --> 00:13:49,364
He's a real catch,
and you should take him back.

337
00:13:49,392 --> 00:13:52,243
Okay. Thank you.
Is that all?

338
00:13:52,283 --> 00:13:54,400
No.
No, that is not all.

339
00:13:54,558 --> 00:13:56,858
Let me tell you
what real life is like.

340
00:13:56,929 --> 00:13:59,230
The men dry up,
and the nights get lonely.

341
00:13:59,332 --> 00:14:02,182
The only calls on your machine
are from collection agencies

342
00:14:02,207 --> 00:14:04,757
about that pair of motorcycle boots
you've never even worn.

343
00:14:04,796 --> 00:14:07,771
You stalk your old
high school boyfriend online,

344
00:14:07,787 --> 00:14:10,270
go to his daughter's
soccer games, and make a scene.

345
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,519
You buy a diamond ring
for yourself

346
00:14:12,550 --> 00:14:14,118
wear it on your right hand,

347
00:14:14,155 --> 00:14:16,322
and tell yourself
you're all you need.

348
00:14:16,357 --> 00:14:19,615
One day, you're alone, tired.

349
00:14:19,642 --> 00:14:21,725
At your feet, a dying bird.

350
00:14:21,946 --> 00:14:23,349
But where did it come from?

351
00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:24,501
Why did you kill it?

352
00:14:24,526 --> 00:14:26,901
It is because,
in some strange way,

353
00:14:26,942 --> 00:14:28,580
it is you?

354
00:14:28,604 --> 00:14:30,537
Thank you all for your concern,

355
00:14:30,638 --> 00:14:33,222
but I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave, okay?

356
00:14:33,448 --> 00:14:36,522
- Pfft! Well.
- Thank you.

357
00:14:36,728 --> 00:14:38,174
Thank you.

358
00:14:38,301 --> 00:14:41,159
So does this mean
you're gonna take Darryl back?

359
00:14:41,194 --> 00:14:41,940
No.

360
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:46,456
Well, then, what would you say
to you and me hitting the town?

361
00:14:46,792 --> 00:14:51,461
'Cause I'm free,
literally, forever.

362
00:14:51,881 --> 00:14:53,279
Yeah, Kevin asked me out.

363
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,560
I was kind of feeling good about
re-entering the dating pool,

364
00:14:55,593 --> 00:14:57,987
and then Kevin asked me out.

365
00:14:58,363 --> 00:15:01,094
Thought I might trade up
to a new level of man.

366
00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:03,976
Then Kevin asked me out.

367
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:12,084
[Phone rings]

368
00:15:12,368 --> 00:15:14,572
[Mayonnaise splats]

369
00:15:15,003 --> 00:15:17,120
- Hello?
- Hi, honey, it's mom.

370
00:15:17,135 --> 00:15:18,666
Look, Cece's school
just called.

371
00:15:18,703 --> 00:15:22,037
- She still has lice.
- What? No, that can't--

372
00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:23,600
I don't--
- Now, don't worry, don't worry.

373
00:15:23,608 --> 00:15:26,669
I'm on my way to pick her up,
but you might have lice too.

374
00:15:26,687 --> 00:15:27,886
You know, lice can be tricky.

375
00:15:27,913 --> 00:15:29,935
Sometimes lice, like...
[Phone clatters]

376
00:15:29,953 --> 00:15:32,974
- Oh, my God.
- Shave her head.

377
00:15:33,190 --> 00:15:37,212
Shave her head!

378
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:41,148
You guys, I am so sorry!

379
00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:43,301
It's just been so chaotic
with Jim gone that I--

380
00:15:43,331 --> 00:15:45,106
Yeah, yeah,
princess fancy-pants

381
00:15:45,131 --> 00:15:47,906
letting Jane 12-pack over here
take the fall!

382
00:15:47,995 --> 00:15:49,308
[Amplified]
She's right, Pam.

383
00:15:49,389 --> 00:15:51,689
Is there a volume knob
on that thing?

384
00:15:51,722 --> 00:15:54,840
Yes, there's a volume knob
on that thing!

385
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:59,561
Meredith, I am so sorry.

386
00:15:59,597 --> 00:16:02,763
Well, a lot of good your
sorrys are doing her now, Pam.

387
00:16:02,792 --> 00:16:05,020
She's a monster.

388
00:16:06,171 --> 00:16:08,716
I meant to say something
earlier. I just--

389
00:16:08,742 --> 00:16:13,037
Just? Just what?
Just forgot?

390
00:16:13,213 --> 00:16:16,114
Who's the one that didn't
bring lice into the office?

391
00:16:16,234 --> 00:16:17,832
Meredith.

392
00:16:17,969 --> 00:16:19,801
Sure, I gave everybody
pink-eye once,

393
00:16:19,829 --> 00:16:21,496
and my ex keyed
a few of their cars.

394
00:16:21,505 --> 00:16:24,943
And, yeah, I BMed
in the Shredder on New Year's,

395
00:16:25,054 --> 00:16:26,860
but I didn't bring the lice in.

396
00:16:26,890 --> 00:16:29,446
That was all Pam.

397
00:16:29,914 --> 00:16:32,067
Attention, people of the office.

398
00:16:32,209 --> 00:16:35,992
You have exactly 60 seconds
to evacuate the bullpen.

399
00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:37,866
At that time...
(Clicks)

400
00:16:38,501 --> 00:16:42,264
I will be tossing this powerful
insecticidal grenade,

401
00:16:42,306 --> 00:16:47,136
which contains Piperonyl Butoxide,
as well as... (Clatters)

402
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:48,721
(Gasps)

403
00:16:48,752 --> 00:16:50,321
Dwight, are you okay?

404
00:16:50,492 --> 00:16:51,973
(Coughs)

405
00:16:53,496 --> 00:16:56,971
Whoa, the butoxide has
a mild hallucinogenic

406
00:16:56,996 --> 00:16:58,994
effect that I don't think
has kicked in yet.

407
00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:00,663
I'm gonna count down for ten.

408
00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:02,513
Nine...

409
00:17:03,219 --> 00:17:04,574
Yellow...

410
00:17:04,797 --> 00:17:06,222
Cold.

411
00:17:06,406 --> 00:17:07,519
What's that?

412
00:17:07,710 --> 00:17:09,845
Purple.

413
00:17:10,665 --> 00:17:13,516
Wow.
He got to purple.

414
00:17:15,005 --> 00:17:16,171
Ow!

415
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,926
Sorry.

416
00:17:18,895 --> 00:17:22,543
[Chokes and sputters]
You're waterboarding me!

417
00:17:22,580 --> 00:17:24,518
Oops.

418
00:17:33,827 --> 00:17:37,168
No, this is fine.
We're allowed to do this.

419
00:17:37,253 --> 00:17:39,949
This is okay.

420
00:17:42,839 --> 00:17:44,185
Okay, you're up.

421
00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:46,954
Yeah, I'm actually kind of sad
to see this baby go.

422
00:17:47,004 --> 00:17:49,386
You do kind of look like Elvis,

423
00:17:49,533 --> 00:17:53,331
but we should probably wash
all the dead lice out.

424
00:17:57,190 --> 00:18:01,143
- Okay.
- Okay. Okay.

425
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:05,662
Is that too cold?

426
00:18:05,725 --> 00:18:09,744
No. Actually,
it feels kind of nice.

427
00:18:12,855 --> 00:18:18,559
[Machine whirring,
plastic wrap bubbles popping]

428
00:18:19,342 --> 00:18:21,143
I wonder what happened
over there.

429
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,905
I've been sitting here
the whole time.

430
00:18:22,952 --> 00:18:26,137
[Machine continues whirring]

431
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,177
- Okay.
- Huh?

432
00:18:31,192 --> 00:18:33,659
Let's give it a shot.
Let's make it work.

433
00:18:33,661 --> 00:18:35,480
Oh, no.
I mean, I want to.

434
00:18:35,519 --> 00:18:37,850
I just-- I don't want
to force you into doing

435
00:18:37,874 --> 00:18:38,975
something you don't want to do.

436
00:18:39,014 --> 00:18:42,434
You're not.
I believe in us.

437
00:18:42,485 --> 00:18:44,214
But--

438
00:18:46,672 --> 00:18:50,173
I'm back together with Val.

439
00:18:50,356 --> 00:18:52,940
Yay.

440
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:55,643
[Humming]

441
00:18:56,441 --> 00:18:58,524
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

442
00:18:58,546 --> 00:18:59,745
Had a pretty good day today.

443
00:18:59,753 --> 00:19:00,783
[Coughs]

444
00:19:00,814 --> 00:19:02,665
Not everything went exactly
according to plan,

445
00:19:02,696 --> 00:19:06,430
but, lice, if you are watching,

446
00:19:06,543 --> 00:19:10,012
I am ready for you anytime,
anywhere.

447
00:19:15,058 --> 00:19:17,687
Hey, Erin already take off?

448
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:20,271
I guess so.

449
00:19:20,941 --> 00:19:22,509
Okay.

450
00:19:25,548 --> 00:19:28,448
- You're Kareem, coming to help.
- Okay, I'm Kareem.

451
00:19:28,571 --> 00:19:30,731
That makes total sense.
I'm Kareem, you're Dr. J.

452
00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:32,298
That sounds weird
to say out loud.

453
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:34,181
And it went like this...

454
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,532
(Cell phone ringing)

455
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:38,570
And that's all.

456
00:19:38,603 --> 00:19:41,458
No one will believe this
back home but that's okay.

457
00:19:41,602 --> 00:19:44,290
- Let me show you how...
- Yeah, you show me how to do it.

458
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,440
<i>This is Jim Halpert. Leave a message.</i>

459
00:19:47,033 --> 00:19:48,835
Hey, honey.
It's me.

460
00:19:49,241 --> 00:19:51,761
Just trying to catch you
before going home.

461
00:19:51,813 --> 00:19:52,865
Uh...

462
00:19:53,544 --> 00:19:55,650
Well, just give me
a call whenever.

463
00:19:55,687 --> 00:19:57,996
Hope your day
got better. Love you.

464
00:20:00,210 --> 00:20:01,392
Hey.

465
00:20:01,439 --> 00:20:03,238
What're you doing right now?

466
00:20:03,273 --> 00:20:07,417
I'm just gonna go home.
My mom's been watching the kids all day.

467
00:20:07,449 --> 00:20:08,790
Let her stay another hour.

468
00:20:08,845 --> 00:20:10,076
Let's go get a beer.

469
00:20:10,123 --> 00:20:11,163
Really?

470
00:20:11,225 --> 00:20:13,679
A beer sounds
incredible right now.

471
00:20:13,717 --> 00:20:16,607
No-duh.
Let's go. You're buying.

472
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:18,298
(Laughs)

473
00:20:19,310 --> 00:20:21,649
Meredith, I am so
sorry about today.

474
00:20:21,673 --> 00:20:23,065
Forget about it.

475
00:20:23,123 --> 00:20:27,206
I just did not realize how hard it was
gonna be without Jim.

476
00:20:27,975 --> 00:20:29,408
I mean, I really respect you

477
00:20:29,410 --> 00:20:31,243
for being a single mom
all these years.

478
00:20:31,269 --> 00:20:33,812
It whipped my ass
in half a week.

479
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,858
I have to say, there are
not a lot of people

480
00:20:35,866 --> 00:20:38,584
who could pull off a shaved
head, but you're rocking it.

481
00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:39,935
Right?

482
00:20:40,002 --> 00:20:42,471
I got the bartender's phone number
when you were in the john.

483
00:20:42,514 --> 00:20:44,356
I'm gonna take that freak
to bone town

484
00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:46,759
before the night is over.
[Laughs]

485
00:20:46,893 --> 00:20:48,843
Get it, girl!

486
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,544
<i>[Girls Just Want To Have Fun</i>
<i>playing]</i>

487
00:20:52,572 --> 00:20:55,539
This one's
for all you ladies out there.

488
00:20:55,541 --> 00:20:57,741
♪

489
00:20:57,805 --> 00:20:59,889
- ♪ I come-- ♪
- Not yet.

490
00:20:59,928 --> 00:21:01,901
♪

491
00:21:01,981 --> 00:21:04,903
Both: ♪ I come home
in the middle of the night ♪

492
00:21:04,935 --> 00:21:09,655
♪ My mother says, when you
gonna live your life right? ♪

493
00:21:09,913 --> 00:21:13,344
♪ Oh, mother dear,
we're not the fortunate ones ♪

494
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,888
♪ And girls, they
want to have fun ♪

495
00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:22,067
♪ Oh, girls just
want to have fun ♪

496
00:21:22,923 --> 00:21:26,923
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther