1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,903 Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything... 2 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,496 and the one son who had no choice... 3 00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:09,598 but to keep them all together. 4 00:00:15,148 --> 00:00:16,843 It's Arrested Development. 5 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:24,680 [Man Narrating] Michael Bluth was working at home when his son made a curious request. 6 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:27,692 Dad, would anyone miss this Peter and the Wolf read-along record? 7 00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:30,854 No. I think that's part of the model home decorations. Why? 8 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:35,128 You're right. My girlfriend Ann wants to have a Christian music bonfire here. 9 00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:38,864 That sounds like some mild fun. I think we've got some Christmas music. 10 00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:43,033 Oh, no. It's not- It's not a "Christian music" bonfire. It's a Christian "music bonfire." 11 00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:45,202 You know, we burn all satanic music. 12 00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:48,371 The thing is, though, the only music I have is either instructional or humor. 13 00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:51,882 [Narrator] He'd been particularly fond of a CD of something called TheJerky Boys. 14 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,885 - [Phone Rings] - Hello. 15 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,956 [George Michael] Hey, nitz. Hey, jerky. I wanna buy a house, Dad. 16 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,218 - It's gotta be big. - You said "Dad," buddy. 17 00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:02,453 - Shut up, jerky. - [Dial Tone] 18 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,621 [Laughing] 19 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,757 Hey, George Michael. Jesus called. He wants your Thriller album. 20 00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:10,563 Yeah, I don't think the bonfire is such a great idea. 21 00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:12,900 I know it might be weird, but Ann's my girlfriend... 22 00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:15,304 so I think I'll go buy some albums today. 23 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,899 Hey, can you cover for me at the banana stand if l- 24 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:21,173 - No. - I'll cover for you, pal. 25 00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:23,909 It's been a long time since I've been down at that banana stand. 26 00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:27,783 Oh, okay. Good. It's the only way we're ever gonna get it air-conditioned. 27 00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:32,085 Michael! How would you like me to owe you a favor? 28 00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:34,820 I want you to bid on me at the charity auction this year. 29 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,362 Okay. Now I'd like to use up my favor and decline. 30 00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:39,523 - [Sighs] - And isn't that Buster's annual job? 31 00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:42,465 Yes, but I can't have a replay of last year. 32 00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:46,027 [Narrator] When Buster inadvertently bid on Lucille 2. 33 00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:49,040 - $10,000! - Buster. 34 00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:52,373 - [Shrieks] - And you're embarrassed to have Oscar bid on you. 35 00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,606 With his two pair of pants? You bet. 36 00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:58,275 Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. 37 00:01:58,384 --> 00:02:01,012 Really? Did nothing cancel? 38 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,555 All right. I need to borrow a fur. 39 00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:07,615 I thought you were antifur, Lindsay. Weren't you protesting some hunter gun thing yesterday? 40 00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:09,786 I stopped by. I hadn't chosen a side. 41 00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:12,126 ...which follows all the rules. - Murderers! You're all murderers! 42 00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:15,998 - There are plenty of rules about guns already on the books. - [Lindsay] Murderers! 43 00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:18,332 You're not allowed to sell a gun to a kid. 44 00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:22,169 - You're not even allowed to fire your gun in the air- - Is that Frank Wrench? 45 00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:24,038 On the Fourth ofJuly. 46 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,978 [Narrator] In fact, it was People's Choice nominated actor Moses Taylor... 47 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:31,346 famous for his portrayal of the rule-abiding detective- 48 00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:33,248 - Stop sign. - Frank Wrench... 49 00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:36,652 star of the television show Wrench. 50 00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:39,088 Well, that's one rule I'm not gonna follow. 51 00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:40,887 [Crowd Screams] 52 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,758 - [Lindsay] Aah. - That's the Second Amendment. Read it. 53 00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:45,831 What do you need with one of Mom's furs? 54 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:48,492 - I'm cold. - So am I. 55 00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,432 - No. - All right, look. 56 00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:53,870 I met Moses Taylor. We're having a date in the park tomorrow. 57 00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:57,431 Try to get him to bid on you at the auction tomorrow, because Michael can't. 58 00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:59,444 He's bidding on Mother. 59 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:03,846 Except that I'm not. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go work in the banana stand. 60 00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:07,442 And I'm gonna see if I can get a wrench to strip my nuts. 61 00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:10,216 I was trying to be sexy. 62 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:12,291 It just got away from me. 63 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:17,523 It's bachelorette season in Newport Beach, and some lovely ladies are up for auction. 64 00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,827 Plus, another wolf sighting in the park. What that means for your weekend- 65 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,834 Bad news, Michael. 66 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:26,064 I'm afraid the Blue Man Group and I have parted ways. 67 00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:30,233 Seems I'm officially no longer a standby understudy. 68 00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:34,143 - "Cease and desist." - Seems they don't appreciate competition. 69 00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:36,715 [Narrator] Tobias had recently taken out an ad... 70 00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:39,284 in a trade magazine for a one-man show. 71 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:43,412 And the worst part is Lindsay's out there chasing some successful actor. 72 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:45,991 Television's Frank Wrench. 73 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:49,823 I need to prove to her that I'm not just a man, but a man's man. 74 00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:52,056 - I think she knows that. - [Wolflike Howling] 75 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:55,726 Jesus! It's the wolf! That is the wolf! The wolf is upstairs! 76 00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:58,167 I think it's just my son's Peter and the Wolf record. 77 00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:00,899 I thought that was a Homefill. 78 00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,601 [Narrator] Michael went to check on his fugitive father... 79 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,178 - who was living in the attic. - You heard my call? 80 00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:09,942 Have you been doing that all over town? Because people think there's a wolf on the loose. 81 00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:13,075 Yes, there is a wolf on the loose. His name is Oscar. 82 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:17,418 Tell me he's not gonna be bidding on your mother at that charity auction with my money. 83 00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:19,491 Is that why you called me up here, Dad? 84 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:22,356 Because you are a fugitive, and as far as she knows, you're in another country. 85 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:26,262 It's driving me crazy. They're parading in public. 86 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:30,166 My back is-is- it's in knots. I haven't had a massage since prison. 87 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,170 Hope that was forced. 88 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,639 But then I found a way to fix my back in this old catalog. Look at this hot tub. 89 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:39,200 I could use it for so many things. It could be my, you know, water supply. 90 00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:44,113 And those, uh, premade boil-in-bag meals- You just toss those in there. 91 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,276 - You're not getting a hot tub. - Come on. Please! 92 00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:49,355 Dad, please. We can't afford that. We're in this mess because of you. 93 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,946 I'm working at the banana stand just so we don't lose a shift. 94 00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:54,891 - But- - We're done pampering ourselves in this family. 95 00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:59,627 Yeah, I would like the biggest air-conditioner you've got. 96 00:04:59,732 --> 00:05:01,859 No, no, not tomorrow. I need- 97 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,868 I need it today. I'm not here tomorrow. 98 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,962 [Narrator]Just then, Michael ran into a woman whom he hadn't seen in years. 99 00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:10,406 - Michael? - Sally Sitwell. 100 00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:13,536 [Narrator] Michael had always been in love with Sally Sitwell. 101 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:16,615 - We could steal a golf cart. - No, they keep 'em locked up. 102 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:19,810 - I know, 'cause I have a key. - I'll go get my sweater. 103 00:05:19,919 --> 00:05:21,819 Oh, so you wanna use the key. 104 00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:25,220 [Narrator] But his father had a longtime competition with her father. 105 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:28,317 It looks like my boy is gonna be sticking it to your daughter, Sitwell. 106 00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:31,420 Stick it to her. Stick it to her. 107 00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:33,499 [Narrator] As a result, Michael was awkward around her. 108 00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:37,000 Should we go or... stick around? 109 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:40,072 No, we're not gonna be sticking anything. Not-Not gonna stick a thing. 110 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:44,007 [Narrator] Since then, he'd always been eager to show her that he'd become a man. 111 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:48,069 - Are you still working here? - No, no, no. Filling in for my son. 112 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,945 Michael, and- Wow. 113 00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:54,611 - Sally Stickwell. - Right. 114 00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:57,281 Because the guys wanted to stick it to me. 115 00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:59,187 - What? No. - I never- 116 00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,351 - Michael used to say that. - No, I didn't. 117 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:03,554 - You said other stuff. - I absolutely did not say that. 118 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:06,461 - Man, he loved you. - So, Gob, tell me- 119 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,534 are you still doing your little tricks? 120 00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:11,125 Do you consider this to be a little trick? 121 00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:14,934 Oh. Did you just squirt me with something? 122 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,703 It's lighter fluid. Didn't put in a new flint. 123 00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:21,712 But still, where did the lighter fluid come from? 124 00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:26,251 - That's- [Bleeps] great. - Michael, maybe I'll see you over at the club. 125 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:29,150 We never really took that cart ride, did we? 126 00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:32,622 And we never will, 'cause I'm not there. 127 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,661 - Nor am I here. I mean, I'm here today. - I'm gonna go. 128 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,993 - Okay. - Okay. 129 00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:42,567 Smooth, Michael... 130 00:06:42,668 --> 00:06:45,899 like her father's head, chest, arms, legs and ass. 131 00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:49,099 - What are you talkin' about? - He's hairless, Michael. It's a condition. 132 00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:52,336 I hate the guy, but at least he's got- [Bleeps] Satiny and smooth probably. 133 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:54,345 I'm just different than you, Gob. 134 00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:58,406 I'm not gonna siphon gas out of some girl's car like you used to in high school... 135 00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:01,510 just so you can show up and say, "Car troubles?" 136 00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:04,317 It's called taking advantage. It's what gets you ahead in life. 137 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,518 Like you did with our biggest shareholder, Lucille Austero. 138 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,925 That was a one-time thing, Michael. It's over. 139 00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:12,691 [Narrator] It was far from over. 140 00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:18,203 - Shall I put the Posturepedic in the down position? - Elevate the knees this time. 141 00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:21,432 You just let Sally Sitwell slip away right when she was ready to go. 142 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,509 - You were scared. - What are you talking about? 143 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,577 - [Clucking] - Come on. 144 00:07:25,678 --> 00:07:28,374 You gonna get off and do your little dance too? 145 00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:31,939 No, l-I hurt my ankle yesterday shooting hoops or something. 146 00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:35,111 [Clucking] Oh, God. My ankle. 147 00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:38,349 - Don't move. Let me- - No, no, no. It's bad. 148 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,688 - Mother! Mother! - Buster, it hurts. 149 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:44,285 [Narrator] Michael decided that perhaps he should go after Sally. 150 00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:46,456 Have you seen my other pair of pants? 151 00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:49,228 Lupe washed them, and they sprouted. I threw them out. 152 00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:51,803 Well, that puts a lot of pressure on this pair. 153 00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:54,964 I think this one's good. Looks like it would've put up a fight. 154 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:58,271 - I put up one to get it. - As long as it gets Frank Wrench to bid on me. 155 00:07:58,377 --> 00:08:00,277 - It won't. - [Michael] Hey, Mom. 156 00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:02,677 I need to borrow your country club card. 157 00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:06,809 There's a friend I have that has lunch there often I'd like to run into. 158 00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:08,716 Sounds like you're asking for a favor. 159 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:12,951 - I know what that's gonna cost me. I'm willing to bid on you. - I'll give you the money. 160 00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:16,517 Start at five grand. If there are other bidders, back off gracefully. 161 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:22,090 Shout out, "I get her 364 days a year for free!" or something. 162 00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:24,169 You're not gonna hear that phrase. 163 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:27,603 [Narrator] Soon, Tobias came across a flyer that promised to improve... 164 00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:31,404 both his masculine self-image and his financial standing. 165 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,411 They're literally blue, not sad. 166 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:37,005 [Narrator] Meanwhile, Michael went to have his accidental encounter with Sally... 167 00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:40,176 - but had forgotten about the club's dress code for lunch. - We have a dress code. 168 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,678 I can't wear this. I look like I'm 16. 169 00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:45,279 - [Sally] Michael? - Oh, no. 170 00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:47,359 - Hello, Michael. - Stan. 171 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:50,793 - Hello, Sally. - Hi. So, are you meeting someone here for lunch? 172 00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:54,025 No. I was going to, then they canceled. So I'm gonna take off. 173 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:57,591 - No. Just join us, please. - [Narrator] Michael knew he couldn't say no... 174 00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:01,366 - but he also knew he couldn't flirt in front ofher father. - Let's do it. 175 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:05,376 [Narrator] And at another table, Gob was being taken out to lunch. 176 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,378 Read me the appetizers again. 177 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:11,473 Fried cheese with club sauce. 178 00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:16,385 - [Moans] - Popcorn shrimp with club sauce. 179 00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,616 - [Moans] - Chicken fingers- 180 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,954 Oh, stop it. You're making me dizzy. 181 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,551 With spicy club sauce. 182 00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,961 No! I mean stop it. 183 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,431 - Gob? - Michael. 184 00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:30,399 - Why don't you join us? - Oh, no. 185 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:34,132 - I'm just helping her eat. - Oh, if you'd prefer privacy- 186 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:38,176 What? No. Are you kidding? I didn't even wanna have lunch with her in the first place. 187 00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:42,338 I just- or- I ju- [Clears Throat] 188 00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:45,747 [Narrator] And so lunch continued with both Bluth boys trying to prove... 189 00:09:45,851 --> 00:09:49,480 they weren't interested in the women they were interested in. 190 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:53,423 When I saw those golf carts, it kind of brought back some memories. 191 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,756 Did you have too much club sauce on your calamari? 192 00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:59,024 Gob, read me the desserts. 193 00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:00,826 She p- 194 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:03,299 probably forgot her old lady glasses. 195 00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:05,370 What is the matter with you, Goby? 196 00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:08,167 [Stan] I'm happy to read to the lovely lady. 197 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:11,334 An assortment of ice creams and sorbets. 198 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,674 - You all right with him reading to your girl? - Not my girl. 199 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,838 - [Lucille 2] Huh? - Why don't you read to your girl? 200 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:18,246 Come on. I don't have a girl. No, thanks. 201 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,819 - Already taken care of. Thank you. Thanks. - I'm sorry. 202 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,821 Apparently there's been some increased activity on your card. 203 00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:26,118 [Whispers] It's been declined. 204 00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:30,286 [Narrator] In fact, the increased activity on Michael's card was his father's. 205 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,887 You think a hot tub is the best thing for someone with your condition? 206 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:37,299 I can't see, but, uh, I didn't know there was a doctor installing this. 207 00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:39,963 Somebody order a case of Bag & Boil frozen dinners? 208 00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:43,269 - I'm happy to get this. - No, no. No, please, Stan. I'll do it. Um- 209 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,867 [Whispers] Can you put this on my mother's card? 210 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:48,845 Your mother? No. No, no, no. She's a pool member only. 211 00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:51,143 You'll excuse me if my tone is not polite... 212 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,548 but this is more polite than she has ever talked to me. 213 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:57,987 [Narrator] Michael had a feeling why his credit card had been rejected. 214 00:10:58,090 --> 00:11:01,184 - What the hell did you do? - [Weak Howling] 215 00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,989 I overdid it. 216 00:11:04,096 --> 00:11:06,929 Oh, it's so hot. 217 00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:16,436 [Narrator] Michael's father hadjust installed a hot tub in the attic. 218 00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:19,534 - What happened to you? - I tried to drink some of the water... 219 00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:22,375 and it was too hot, and it tasted like soy sauce. 220 00:11:22,481 --> 00:11:26,349 I think the teriyaki chicken burst. 221 00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:29,580 That's why people typically don't cook in these things or install them in attics. 222 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:33,989 You gotta get it out of here, Mikey. My eyes, they're burning. 223 00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:36,220 Wanna thank you for charging it to my credit card. 224 00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:38,558 You made me look very foolish in front of Sally Sitwell. 225 00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:40,825 - Did you stick it to her? - No, I didn't. 226 00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:43,663 You screwed that up, just like you screwed up this hot tub. 227 00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:45,737 Is that veal Marsala stuck in the intake? 228 00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:48,602 They all look so good on the boxes. 229 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,733 You know, it's good you backed off Sally. 230 00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:56,372 I don't need that guy saying his daughter's sticking it to my loser son. 231 00:11:56,482 --> 00:12:01,317 You know something? The reason I never went after her is because you're always pushing me. 232 00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:05,220 But now that I know that I don't have your approval, l-I think that, uh... 233 00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:08,122 I think that I'll finally go for it. 234 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:13,096 This isn't turning into the party hangout I hoped. 235 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,195 - Hey. - Hey, I thought I heard something before... 236 00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:19,294 like a wolf drowning or something. 237 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,771 I think that that was maybe the house settling. 238 00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:24,342 Speaking of settling, how's Ann? I mean, have you- 239 00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:27,071 have you settled on an artist's work to burn? 240 00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:29,238 - I was thinking Eminem for a while. - Sure. 241 00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,839 But everyone is gonna be burning Eminem. So, you know- 242 00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:35,284 And then I got this Pat Boone album, but the guy is Christian. 243 00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:38,015 But, you know, I don't know. Somebody's gotta burn, right? 244 00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:41,355 - Well, I guess. - Right. 245 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:44,595 [Sighs] 246 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:48,098 - Hey. - Oh, boy. I got some looks on the bus 'cause of this. 247 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,031 What are you doing with that thing? 248 00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:53,594 I am going to catch that wolf, Michael. I'm gonna shoot it with this tranquilizer gun... 249 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:56,800 get the reward, and bid on my woman at the charity auction. 250 00:12:56,909 --> 00:13:00,072 Isn't there some kind of a waiting period for a rifle like that? 251 00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,147 [Chuckles] It turns out there is. 252 00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:04,648 Two weeks? Isn't there a loophole? 253 00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:07,480 There is a gun show loophole. 254 00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:11,352 What timing, huh? I mean, right out back they were having one. 255 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:14,358 Gob, I'm going hunting for my wife. 256 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,792 [Gob] How lame was Lucille 2 at lunch, huh? 257 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,864 - [Door Closes] - You've gotten attached, haven't you? 258 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,159 You're not gonna tell anybody about this, are you? 259 00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,167 Come on. I'm not one to judge. 260 00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:26,329 Every time I've gone out with Sally, I've looked like I'm 12 years old. 261 00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:29,236 But, yes, I probably will tell people about this. 262 00:13:29,341 --> 00:13:33,835 Maybe we can strike up a deal. You keep this to yourself, I help you get Sally. 263 00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:35,914 Siphon a little something from her car... 264 00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,506 you show up in the Corvette, looking like a man. 265 00:13:38,617 --> 00:13:40,517 Car troubles? 266 00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:42,883 Probably shouldn't do the fireball when you siphon the gas. 267 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:46,321 I guess this flint's still got a little life left in it, huh? 268 00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:50,088 [Narrator] Lindsay, meanwhile, was waiting in the park for her date with Moses Taylor. 269 00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:52,721 Sorry I'm late. Fans. [Chuckles] 270 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,029 - [Chuckles] - Sometimes it takes a while to jar their memories. 271 00:13:56,135 --> 00:14:00,936 Nice fur. You know, there are some nuts out there who'd wanna throw red paint all over you. 272 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,669 Wait a minute. I think there's one right over there. 273 00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:08,042 - Oh, my God. You're- - Someone needs to read this. 274 00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:11,116 [Narrator] And that's when Lindsay's heel went out. 275 00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:13,276 [Groans, Howls] 276 00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:15,353 - [Gunshot] - [Groans] 277 00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:18,287 - I got him. [Chuckles] - False alarm. 278 00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,550 Crap. 279 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:29,961 - [Groans] I'm being saved by Frank Wrench. - No, you're not. 280 00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:32,060 - Frank Wrench. - Shut up. 281 00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:35,231 - [Narrator] But, unbeknownst to Lindsay and Tobias- - Oh, shoot. 282 00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:38,640 - Oh, great. - the actor who played Frank Wrench wasn't saving her... 283 00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:41,110 but was just trying to distance himself... 284 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:45,149 from the outlandish "Moses Taylor Hunts People"scandal... 285 00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:48,482 that had been started by a rabid anti-gun fanatic. 286 00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:52,250 [Pants, Sniffs] 287 00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:55,122 [Narrator] And that night, Michael went to help Sally... 288 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,787 with the car problems Gob had created. 289 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,866 What the hell? 290 00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:04,129 [Narrator] Only to find out things had gotten out ofhand for Gob. 291 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:07,137 Michael did look heroic as he went to put out the fire. 292 00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:10,436 Unfortunately, Sally arrived too late to see him that way. 293 00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:12,442 - [Coughing] - God, what happened? 294 00:15:12,544 --> 00:15:16,310 Car trouble. [Coughing] 295 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,988 - [Narrator] Gob hadjust blown up a car. - [Water Running] 296 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,489 The next thing I know, I'm running for my life. 297 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:30,084 And all I could think was, if something were to ever happen to me... 298 00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:32,095 how sad I'd be, you know? 299 00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:35,963 What you did to me at lunch today- You were ashamed to be with me. 300 00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:40,937 No! I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you. 301 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:44,771 I'm sorry, but you have no courage. 302 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:47,175 How can you say that? Shh. 303 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:51,613 I thought I heard my mom. [Whispers] How can you say that? 304 00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:54,185 - [Narrator] And on the other side of the wall- - Michael? 305 00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,413 Lucille was finalizing her plans for the evening. 306 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,422 You can bid up to 10,000. 307 00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:01,220 The deal is off. You didn't tell me it was a restricted membership. 308 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:03,124 Find somebody else to do your bidding. 309 00:16:03,228 --> 00:16:05,025 [Lucille] There is no one else. 310 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,394 - Hi. - Hi. 311 00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:10,161 - They said I could see you finally. - Yes. 312 00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:13,796 God, I just feel awful for whoever's car that was. 313 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:17,205 Mm-hmm. I know it. [Coughs] 314 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:21,370 Sally, I was thinking that maybe you and I could- [Coughing] 315 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:25,576 Don't try to talk. I have to run anyway. I gotta do this charity auction thing. 316 00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:30,212 I'm sorry, sir. Your Blue Cross Blue Shield was denied. We've called your mother. 317 00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,257 [Coughing] 318 00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:36,988 I'll be back. I'll check on you later. Feel better. 319 00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:40,793 [Coughs] Go out sometime. [Grunts] 320 00:16:40,899 --> 00:16:43,367 [Narrator] Michael decided to bid on her at the auction... 321 00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:46,438 and he knewjust where he could get the money to do so. 322 00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:49,701 Yeah. Start draining the hot tub. It's going back. 323 00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:52,436 [Narrator] And Lucille, with no other prospects... 324 00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:55,342 turned to the son she least expected to support her. 325 00:16:55,447 --> 00:17:00,282 Gob, I don't suppose I could pay you to bid on me at a charity auction. 326 00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:03,219 [Narrator] And Gob was just depressed enough to do so. 327 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,449 - Whatever you want. - Oh, goody. 328 00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:08,025 [Narrator] And finally, George Michael and Ann's... 329 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:10,755 - Christian music bonfire was under way. - [Rock] 330 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:14,856 - Without ever going to the gym. - I can't believe how many people you told about this. 331 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:18,232 Yeah, I hope I didn't confuse people by saying it was a CD burning party. 332 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:20,305 Great party! [Chuckles] 333 00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:23,398 Maeby, I burned like 10 CD's from somebody's MP3 player. 334 00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:25,409 This is a disaster. 335 00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:27,979 Maybe you shouldjust try listening to some of the music. 336 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,207 Yeah, some of the artists are kind of talented. 337 00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:33,978 I don't know if you've heard ofThe Jerky Boys. They do prank phone calls. 338 00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:37,715 It's kind of old school, but- I have the tape in my room. 339 00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:40,314 I accidentally didn't burn it yet. 340 00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:44,295 - [Narrator] Meanwhile, the auction began. - Next up... 341 00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:47,194 we've got last year's charity case, Lindsay Fünke. 342 00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:49,767 - [Narrator] Lindsay showed up- - Oh, no. Not again. 343 00:17:49,868 --> 00:17:52,837 [Narrator] although she was still feeling the effects of the tranquilizer. 344 00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:56,339 - Hundred dollars, folks? - Stick a wrench in me. I'm done. 345 00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:58,273 - Anybody got 50? - My wife is humiliated. 346 00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:01,904 This is my chance to right the small wrong that I did. 347 00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:05,609 You shot her in the ass with about four ounces of horse tranquilizer. 348 00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:08,515 - I haven't been the perfect husband. Yes, I admit that. - [Auctioneer] Twenty? 349 00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:11,088 - [Lindsay Groans] - But now is my chance to be a hero. 350 00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:14,023 - Please, Michael, give me some of your money. - [Auctioneer] Ten? 351 00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:17,095 - Does anybody have 10? - I've got $5,000, and I need that for Sally... 352 00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:20,427 - but if you wanna make a low bid- - Five thousand dollars. 353 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:23,501 - For that? Sold. - [Groans] 354 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,763 I think you overpaid. 355 00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:28,169 [Narrator] George Michael's prospects were also improving... 356 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,037 - as the two made prank phone calls together. - Let me try. 357 00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:34,170 - Hey, rubberneck. - [Michael] Ann... 358 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:37,544 could you and George Michael please call someone else for a little while? 359 00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:39,617 - He knows it was us. - What? 360 00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:48,617 We finally got a good one comin'up. 361 00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:52,288 Sally Sitwell. What do I hear? 362 00:18:52,397 --> 00:18:55,161 - [Man] Five hundred dollars. - You're not bidding? I was hoping you would. 363 00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:57,132 - [Man #2] Six hundred! - You were? 364 00:18:57,236 --> 00:18:58,931 You're a good kid. You always have been. 365 00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:01,665 Not like that showboat of a father of yours, if you don't mind me saying. 366 00:19:01,773 --> 00:19:04,503 - [Man #1] Seven hundred! - I've called him so much worse. 367 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:07,204 The truth is, sir, I am interested... 368 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,803 but I don't have the money to buy your daughter. 369 00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:13,544 - [Chuckles] You sure do drive a nice car. - [Man #2] Eight hundred. 370 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:16,246 And I need one. Mine got torched today. 371 00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:19,415 [Man #1] One thousand! - Drop it off when you drop my daughter off tonight. 372 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:23,325 [Narrator] And finally, with both the approval of Sally's father... 373 00:19:23,428 --> 00:19:28,388 and the lack of approval ofhis own, Michael was ready to make his move. 374 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,731 - [Michael] 15,000. - [Man] What? 375 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,828 - Wow. - Yeah. 376 00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:36,169 I gotta tell ya. This puts a lot of pressure on me. 377 00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:39,438 - It's for a good cause. - I heard it was to reseed the greens. 378 00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:42,844 Gonna be a lot of shifts for you at the banana stand, huh? 379 00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:45,746 I should be honest with you. I don't have that much money... 380 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:49,252 - and I sold the Corvette to cover it. - That's quick. To who? 381 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:51,948 - Your father, as a matter of fact. - My father? 382 00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:54,719 - Yeah. - My father can't drive a convertible. 383 00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:56,851 Mind if I open it up? 384 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:00,855 Wow! 385 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:03,867 - Got some pickup. - [Sally] This is just like him. 386 00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,130 He always interferes with everyone I date. 387 00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:09,435 Well, you can tell him to give you your car back. 388 00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:13,443 - But I bought you. - I'm sorry. I'm not like you. 389 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:18,209 I'd almost rather date someone my father doesn't approve of. 390 00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:21,115 Thanks anyway. [Kisses] 391 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:28,390 That-That-That is like me. That's exactly like me! 392 00:20:28,493 --> 00:20:31,519 [Narrator] And soon it was time for Gob to bid on his mother. 393 00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:35,589 Not all bad. The only one bidding on Lucille 2 is that hairless Sitwell. 394 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,464 [Auctioneer] Seven right there. Eight. 395 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,400 - [Gob] Sitwell's bidding on Lucille 2? - Nine. 396 00:20:39,504 --> 00:20:43,031 First he fires me, then he steals my- 397 00:20:43,141 --> 00:20:45,974 - [Auctioneer] Going once- - mother's best friend. 398 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,308 Going twice. Nine going twice. 399 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,610 - $10,000. - Oh, how grand. 400 00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:55,915 Sold. Up from $800 to $ 10,000. 401 00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:59,013 Wow. You guys really want a new golf course. 402 00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:02,423 And all from nonmembers. 403 00:21:02,527 --> 00:21:05,257 [Narrator] On the next Arrested Development. 404 00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:08,595 - George Sr. Shows up to bid on Lucille. - [Howling] 405 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,668 [Narrator] But the sound ofhis wolf call... 406 00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:13,465 and the smell of chicken teriyaki interfere. 407 00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:15,472 No, no, no, no. 408 00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:18,338 No. Oh. [Relaxed] Oh. Oh, no.