1 00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:05,369 Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything... 2 00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:07,463 and the one son who had no choice... 3 00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,565 but to keep them all together. 4 00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:16,742 It's Arrested Development. 5 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:22,580 [Man Narrating] Michael Bluth arrived home to find his mother, Lucille... 6 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,852 - in a state of agitation. - I think the company's in trouble. 7 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,325 What tipped you? The falling profits... 8 00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:31,488 or that we're a regular feature on Bill O'Reilly's "Most Ridiculous Item of the Day"? 9 00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:36,160 I'm talking about the fact that my "friend" Lucille Austero bought our company... 10 00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:39,568 and I think she's going for a power grab, that bitch! 11 00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:42,106 You're not at home, Mom. She doesn't live next door when you're here. 12 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:45,507 Secondly, she's already grabbed power. She's the majority shareholder of the company. 13 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:49,013 I'll tell you what she wants to grab: Your brother Gob. 14 00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:52,414 - [Narrator] In fact, Lucille 2 was already with Gob- - You look really nice. 15 00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:55,352 - but she was growing tired ofhis neediness. - Where are you going? 16 00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,355 I'm going to my spin class. 17 00:00:57,457 --> 00:00:59,357 - [Door Closes] - Thought you had vertigo. 18 00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:02,553 She'll sell the company or break it up into little parts or something... 19 00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:05,927 all under the guise of "caring" about our family. 20 00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:10,025 Gotta stop quoting when you drink. I certainly hope she's not planning a move. 21 00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:14,402 I wouldn't put it past her. She'd love to get at me any way she could. 22 00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:16,407 That's why she's been flirting with Gob. 23 00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:20,104 She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am... 24 00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:23,705 but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for Gob. 25 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:27,048 - Think that makes the joke on Gob. - [Door Opens] 26 00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:29,087 - Hey, Dad. - Hey, buddy. 27 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,089 Was that Gangy who was just- 28 00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:34,991 You all right? Sorry. Your grandmother had a little accident here. 29 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,825 Oh. Does that mean she's gonna have to come live with us? 30 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:41,799 No, no. No. It was- It was her drink, and even if it wasn't, just- 31 00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:44,870 Do you remember when I bid on Sally Sitwell at the bachelorette auction? 32 00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:48,600 They sent me this basket with all this stuff for our date, you know. It's a whole package. 33 00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:51,677 I thought that maybe we could do it together, like a Valentine's present. 34 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,008 - You're not gonna take Sally? - Sally, no. No. 35 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,514 L-I wanted it for us. I never wanted to be with Sally. 36 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,585 [Narrator] Actually, Michael had gone over to Sitwell Enterprises- 37 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:03,850 - Michael Bluth to see Sally. - one day earlier to set up a date with Sally. 38 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:08,291 I'm afraid she's not here. If you'd like me to take the package, I can give it to her. 39 00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:13,623 No, no. This is, uh- This is not for her. It's for my son. 40 00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:16,099 Just don't tell her I came by. 41 00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:18,466 [Narrator] In fact, Sally wasn't there... 42 00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:20,869 and the person Michael saw was her father. 43 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:24,535 - You kidding? This makes me look like my daughter. - No one's going to think that. 44 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,579 I look like Edgar Winter. Forget it. I gotta get to spin class. 45 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,013 So what do you say? We got a basketful of father-son fun here. 46 00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:34,780 - What's Kama Sutra oil? - [Clicks Tongue] Maybe it's not for us. 47 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:38,119 Ah, Valentine's Day, which- 48 00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:40,192 Oh! Was your mother here? 49 00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:42,989 Here. You all right? I'll help you up. 50 00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:46,190 Oh, that is quite a basket you've got there, Michael. 51 00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:48,392 That Sally Sitwell is one lucky lady. 52 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:52,232 Well, I'm- I'm not so sure that she's actually... right for me, anyway. 53 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:56,138 But you got one of these too, didn't you? Y-You bought Lindsay at the same auction. 54 00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:59,734 Well, yes, but I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad... 55 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,973 on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will. 56 00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:05,141 So now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. 57 00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:08,152 It's just-There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. 58 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:11,917 [Narrator] Tobias wanted to make sure that everything was perfect for Lindsay... 59 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,153 so he went to check it out first. 60 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:17,661 Oh. Body chocolate. 61 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,595 [Moans] 62 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:24,033 - It's a wonderful package. I'll take it. - You just did. 63 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,867 Why don't you take this? I don't have anyone to go with anyway. 64 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:29,441 [Chuckles] Can you imagine how jealous that would make her? 65 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,476 [Screeching] "Where's Tobias?" 66 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:35,139 [Normal Voice] "Oh, he's just sharing a romantic horseback ride with Michael Bluth... 67 00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:37,409 and they're dipping each other in"- 68 00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:41,419 - Oh, you didn't get any body chocolate. - L-I didn't mean with me. 69 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:45,355 L-I hate to see you struggle like this. In fact, why don't you let me ask her for you? 70 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:49,019 Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren't you? 71 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:53,087 I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks anytime. 72 00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:56,965 Okay. You know what you do? Buy yourself a tape recorder. Record yourself for a whole day. 73 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,800 I think you're gonna be surprised at some of your phrasing. 74 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,807 [Gasps] Butterscotch! Want a lick? 75 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:06,345 [Narrator] And later, Lindsay stopped by the office at Michael's request. 76 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:10,974 Great. Thank you. Listen. I want you to take... my romance package at the Four Seas Hotel. 77 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,644 - Oh, yea! - That's great. Tobias is gonna be thrilled. 78 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:17,382 - Oh. I have to go with Tobias? - Lindsay, your husband really wants this to work. 79 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,948 - Come on. Let me play Cupid this year. - I thought he went already. 80 00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:25,497 - I'm giving you mine. - Because you're afraid to ask Sally Sitwell to go with you. 81 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:29,056 - That's not true at all. - Mmm? [Imitates Bird] Chaw-chee-chaw, chee-chaw. 82 00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:31,432 - What is that? Is that a chicken? - What's this? 83 00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:33,971 - Oh. Michael's scared to ask out Sally. - No, I'm not. 84 00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:37,804 - Chaw-chee-chaw- - This is priceless. [Clucking] 85 00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:41,402 You too. This is great. Come on. These aren't even birds. 86 00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:44,074 - I am not-That's enough. There are people working. - [Both Stop] 87 00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:46,845 Listen, I think that Lucille 2 is up to something. 88 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:50,684 Mom said the same thing. I thought she was ticked off'cause you're seeing her. 89 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,315 What? You're seeing Lucille 2? Does Buster know? 90 00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:57,157 No. And I'm not. Just don't tell people- 91 00:04:57,263 --> 00:05:01,029 I'm playing the part of the gigolo so that she'll keep the company afloat. 92 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,763 But something weird happened yesterday when I was trying to find a way out of there. 93 00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:08,802 [Phone Rings] 94 00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,808 Hello? 95 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:14,812 - [Dial Tone] - [Narrator] In fact, it was Stan Sitwell calling her... 96 00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:17,781 as he'd become quite taken with Lucille 2 himself. 97 00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:20,614 It all makes sense. Why else would Sally Sitwell be avoiding me? 98 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:24,622 - She thinks you're a loser. - And why would Lucille 2 be so distant toward me? 99 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:27,386 - 'Cause she knows you're a loser. - I think it's pretty clear. 100 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,893 Lucille 2 and Sitwell are working on a business deal. 101 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,931 Lindsay, I'd like for you to go over to Sitwell and see what you can find out. 102 00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:35,159 - I can't go there again. - Why do I have to do that? 103 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,862 Because you've been helping yourself to the company money for some time. 104 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:40,461 It's not like you do anything for the family anyway. 105 00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:42,507 Gob doesn't do anything for the family. 106 00:05:42,608 --> 00:05:45,042 Hey, I'm- [Bleeps] Lucille 2. 107 00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:47,237 Oh. I could do something like that. 108 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,748 This is what Dad was really good at- getting us out of tight spots. 109 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:55,184 [Narrator] In fact, at that very moment, George Sr. was in a tight spot... 110 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:57,916 as he'd gotten himself wedged under the furnace... 111 00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:01,619 while chasing after a sour ball that had rolled out ofhis pocket. 112 00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:05,528 [Sighs, Howls] 113 00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:07,599 [Narrator] Eventually, Michael rescued him. 114 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,827 [Michael] I'm starting to worry she's gonna sell us out. 115 00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:13,269 I think the answer to this problem is money. 116 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:17,605 Now, this may just be me having my head against a hundred-degree furnace for an hour... 117 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,235 but maybe we should bring in Jack Dorso. 118 00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:24,908 - UncleJack? - Well, no. He's not my uncle. He's, uh, my dad's friend. 119 00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:27,281 But, uh, this guy has got a fortune. 120 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,379 [Narrator]Jack Dorso first achieved success in the '40s... 121 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:34,392 as a costar of the radio and then film serial, Red McGibbon and Bullet: Nazi Hunters. 122 00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,395 There are two Nazis up there in that dance hall. 123 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,431 - [Bullet] Shoot me. - [Gunshot, Glass Shatters] 124 00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:42,057 [Bullet On Radio] Happy Valentine's Day, Nazis. 125 00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,762 [Narrator] When the actor who played Red McGibbon... 126 00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:47,669 was jailed for his Communist sympathies... 127 00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:51,574 Jack Dorso made one attempt at a solo Bullet feature. 128 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:55,909 But the audience was not ready to accept Bullet as a romantic lead... 129 00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:58,882 despite his powerful upper body. 130 00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,885 So he started a chain of gymnasiums... 131 00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:04,718 having stolen the idea from Red during a prison visit. 132 00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:07,349 - And as the years passed- - [Man] Hey, Jack! 133 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:11,920 He became well-known for his annual birthday feats of strength. 134 00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:15,057 Five pounds for each year of my life. 135 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:18,228 [Narrator] Sadly, he lost the use ofhis legs on his 70th birthday- 136 00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:22,740 - Release! - at the newly-remodeled Jack Dorso's in Albany, New York. 137 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:25,606 - [Cracking] - [Grunts] Too much! 138 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,108 If he's got so much money, how come we never called him before? 139 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,878 But I have. I mean, there wouldn't be a Bluth Company without him. 140 00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:35,317 I could never have afforded that first tract of land. 141 00:07:35,421 --> 00:07:37,321 But he always wants something in return. 142 00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:39,323 [Sighs] I don't know. 143 00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:43,259 See if you can talk your mother into taking another bullet for the Bluth family. 144 00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:53,328 [Narrator] The family gathered at Lucille's to welcome and solicit UncleJack. 145 00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:55,430 And remember, he wasn't really their uncle. 146 00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:59,341 Buster. Nice of you to take a break from that common whore you've been dating. 147 00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:03,973 She is not a whore, Mother. She happens to be the new secretary of the Bluth Company. 148 00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:08,645 And, yes, she's more experienced than a normal girl. 149 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:13,282 - But sometimes love should be terrifying. - [Narrator] In fact... 150 00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:16,327 - Buster had even started using his army stealth training. - [Starla] Buster. 151 00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:20,024 I'll be right in, and then maybe we can talk about- 152 00:08:20,132 --> 00:08:23,260 [Grunts] Makin' that love. 153 00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:25,997 [Door Handle Rattling] 154 00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:31,475 I shouldn't complain. It's better than you dating Lucille 2, that bitch! 155 00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:35,809 Lucille 2's not a "B,"Mother. She's kind, and she's caring... 156 00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:39,817 and she's certainly less experienced than that whore that I'm dating now. 157 00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:42,285 [Narrator] And perhaps it was screaming it out loud... 158 00:08:42,388 --> 00:08:44,481 that made Buster realize that he missed Lucille 2. 159 00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:47,889 I'm wondering if you can keep some of the more piercing profanities down... 160 00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:49,894 when the 90-year-old fitness buff gets here? 161 00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:52,726 You know, Michael, I was happy to call UncleJack for you... 162 00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:55,164 but that's as much as I'm going to do. 163 00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:57,168 If you know what I mean. 164 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,738 - I need a more vital man. - [Knocking] 165 00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:02,967 [Man] Someone order 140 pounds of upper-body strength? 166 00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:06,203 Well, he certainly sounds vital to me. 167 00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:08,780 [Shouting] Walk, Dragon! Walk! 168 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,349 - Enter the room! - [Michael] Welcome, UncleJack. 169 00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:15,477 He's half deaf. It was a stupid, stupid hire. 170 00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:19,251 Not "higher." Eye level! Eye level! 171 00:09:19,358 --> 00:09:22,225 Kisses, and then we talk. Which one is Michael? 172 00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:24,523 - Uh- - Swoop me! 173 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:29,429 - [Jack] Oh. - I, uh, really appreciate you coming over, UncleJack. 174 00:09:29,535 --> 00:09:32,265 Thank you for having me. You may be amazed. 175 00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:36,102 Uh, I'm invited into very few personal homes. 176 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,108 To the nuts! 177 00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:42,378 The bridge mix! The bridge mix! Fool! 178 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:45,548 Hey, fake UncleJack. 179 00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:49,951 Is this the boy? Is this the little one? My God, you're an army man. 180 00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:53,355 - Well- [Chuckles] - I was never in the army. I was in the pictures. 181 00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:56,257 Here comes UncleJack. Shoot me! 182 00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:58,922 - [Screams] Oh, God! - [Gasps] 183 00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:02,762 - [Buster Groans] - Look at that. I pinned him. I pinned the army man. 184 00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:07,271 God bless you for being in the army. Up, Dragon! 185 00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:12,743 - [Whimpering] - Lift. Lift with vigor. 186 00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:17,339 - Remember me? - Lucille. You look younger than you did the day l- 187 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:21,284 - Oh, you old fool. I'm Lucille. - [Screams] 188 00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:26,188 You look fabulous. Back to the blonde. Back to the blonde. 189 00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:30,521 Isn't she beautiful? Oh, yeah. 190 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,757 [Makes Gobbling Noise] 191 00:10:32,865 --> 00:10:34,423 He's kind of scary, that guy, huh? 192 00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:36,933 Not to me. I think he's kind of cool. 193 00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:39,664 Well, why don't you go get your kiss from Mr. Cool Half-Man? 194 00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:41,672 - [Scoffs] I'd be fine with that. - Let's go. 195 00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:43,605 - So what's your point? - Come on. 196 00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:45,973 Why, she's no bigger than one of my legs. 197 00:10:46,078 --> 00:10:48,876 Shake them for her. [Grunting] 198 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,108 Excuse me, UncleJack. I'm George Michael. 199 00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,708 [Gurgles] It's okay. Just ignore it! 200 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:57,448 Ignore it. Just something the body does when you're shaken. [Gurgles] 201 00:10:57,556 --> 00:10:59,353 Don't shake it! Don't shake it! 202 00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:01,358 - Towel! - Not the good ones! 203 00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:04,361 - Is he dying? What if he's dying? - [Gurgling Continues] 204 00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:08,359 Boy, that Dragon's cute, huh? [Sighs] 205 00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:10,526 What, the deaf giant who's holding our fake uncle? 206 00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:12,831 He's been flirting with me all night. 207 00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:15,498 I was thinking maybe it would be best for the family... 208 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:19,203 if I went on that romance thing with Drag instead ofTobias... 209 00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:21,245 which would be a drag. [Snickers] 210 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:24,510 - [Chuckles] - Yeah, that's just the kind of joke Drag can't hear. 211 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:28,883 No, you're gonna go with Tobias or not at all. Now tell me what you found out at Sitwell. 212 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:31,388 - Oh. You still want me to do that? - You didn't? 213 00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:34,721 Lindsay, I give you one thing to do for the business, and you can't even do it. 214 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:37,819 I mean, if you'd tried and failed, I'd understand, but you didn't even try. 215 00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:41,730 So, I didn't even fail, and I don't see you giving me credit for that. 216 00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:45,497 - [Sighs] - [Narrator] Michael knew that since Lindsay let him down... 217 00:11:45,604 --> 00:11:51,270 he had no choice but to ask UncleJack for the money to save his company. 218 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,971 - Pretty. - Yes. 219 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:58,210 Do you think you should be perched on the edge of the building like this? 220 00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:00,751 Oh, Dragon's got me. 221 00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:05,317 - Dragon's in the bathroom. - Mama! 222 00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:09,019 - Come on. I got ya. I got ya. It's okay. - [Grunts, Whimpers] 223 00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:12,859 - [Narrator] And so Michael laid out his dilemma. ...family company get ruined. 224 00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:17,800 - I was hoping that this was a social visit- - Well- 225 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:22,431 particularly when that sister of yours started giving me the cutie eye. 226 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:24,236 - [Growling] - She did? 227 00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:29,508 Unfortunately that moose was holding me, so I couldn't make my move. 228 00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:34,211 Of course I couldn't make that move without that moose, but that's my challenge. 229 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,982 I won't go wheelchair! 230 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,057 Twirl me around. 231 00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:44,121 Hey, hey. No. I got you. I got you. 232 00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:46,289 - [Coughs] - You all right? 233 00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:50,357 But Valentine's Day is here, and I'm alone. 234 00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:52,403 The moose is no one. 235 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:56,168 Perhaps if I had a little... companionship... 236 00:12:56,275 --> 00:13:00,211 I'd be a little more disposed to whip out... 237 00:13:00,312 --> 00:13:03,076 that old wallet of mine. 238 00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:05,810 You're saying if I were to set you up with my sister... 239 00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:09,410 - you would consider bailing us out? - Oh, joy. Yeah. 240 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,422 [Narrator] Michael was torn. 241 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:14,459 - The business meant the world to him, but his sister's honor- - Let's do it. 242 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,256 - uh, meant a lot too. - Let's go share the good news. 243 00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:26,300 [Narrator] Michael had offered his sister to his UncleJack... 244 00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:28,805 in exchange for money to save the company. 245 00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:31,308 Remember, it's not their real uncle. 246 00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:35,346 - He's cute, isn't he? - So cute. 247 00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:38,780 - Imagine him without that muscly little old guy in his arms. - Oh, Dragon. Right. 248 00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:43,116 Well, that's why I was thinking maybe you should go with Dragon on that romantic getaway. 249 00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:45,622 - Oh. - Now, I know he's working... 250 00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,954 so UncleJack's gonna have to go along. 251 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:50,688 Oh. Well, as long as he promises not to shake him. 252 00:13:50,796 --> 00:13:52,787 - Mmm. - So, what did he say about the money? 253 00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:56,334 [Inhales] He said he'd like to sleep on it. 254 00:13:56,435 --> 00:14:00,496 [Narrator] Meanwhile, Buster had decided to pursue a new girlfriend: 255 00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:02,506 His old girlfriend. 256 00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:04,974 Hey- Brother? What are you doing here? 257 00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:07,739 I'm keeping an eye on the woman who controls our company. 258 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,815 In her robe and slippies? 259 00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:14,545 Getting into her head. I think she's planning on selling our company to Stan Sitwell. 260 00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:18,487 But I've lost her trail, and I don't think I have the skills to pick it up. 261 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,219 Skills? [Grunts] 262 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,097 These kind of skills? 263 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,827 Not really. 264 00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:34,031 But if you give me one of those outfits, we can hide in the bushes and spy on them. 265 00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:38,404 I would like to see her again. You've got it. 266 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:42,276 [Narrator] And Michael told his father the good news about UncleJack. 267 00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:45,577 - You are pimping out your sister? - You were pimping out my mother. 268 00:14:45,684 --> 00:14:49,085 Yes, because she was sleeping with my brother, but your sister? 269 00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:51,850 Everything's gonna be fine. No one's gonna get hurt. 270 00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:54,118 No one is going to get hurt. 271 00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:58,390 Oh. Hey, Michael. My dad wanted me to thank you for the romantic getaway. 272 00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:00,522 Don't tell me what that means. 273 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,693 - Where is your dad? - He left, dressed all western-y. 274 00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:05,702 You could leave me out of that part too. 275 00:15:05,804 --> 00:15:09,035 [Narrator] And Michael realized that perhaps somebody would get hurt. 276 00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:13,237 - I just screwed my brother-in-law. - Well, I'm all grown up now. 277 00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:15,905 [Narrator] So Michael rushed to the Four Seas Hotel... 278 00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:19,143 to keep Tobias from finding out about Lindsay's date. 279 00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:22,379 Michael, this is Jeff. He does all the horse work here. 280 00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:25,286 You'll meet him again at the end. Plus, he gets you your juice. 281 00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:28,155 Not your first juice, but the one you get at the spa. 282 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:31,718 - That's right. You've done this before. - But not with a lovely lady. 283 00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:36,062 Jeff doubts one's coming at all, don't you? Sorry. Sorry. 284 00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:38,602 - About the lovely lady- - [Van Door Opens] 285 00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:42,534 Stop. You dropped the boot. Dropped the boot. 286 00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:47,906 [Narrator] Michael came up with the only evasion he could think of. 287 00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:51,039 Tobias, the lovely lady, she's gonna be a little bit late. She's doing some work. 288 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,050 She said to get started without her. 289 00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:56,588 - Saddle me up, Jeff. - It's gonna take a few minutes to tack another horse. 290 00:15:56,689 --> 00:16:01,854 [Narrator] So Michael embarked on the romantic adventure he'd spent so lavishly for. 291 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:05,692 [Tobias] Well, you certainly didn't help with my reputation as a lady's man with Jeff. 292 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,528 But we'll clear all that up in the spa when I get my facial. 293 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:11,034 Hey, did you ever get that tape recorder? 294 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:15,232 [Chuckles] You're funny. Come on, boy. Hoo-cha-cha! 295 00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:19,004 [Narrator] Soon the next group began their romantic date. 296 00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:21,807 - So nice of you to cover this, UncleJack. - My pleasure. 297 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:24,109 It's nice to do something you don't need legs for. 298 00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:25,945 [Yells] 299 00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:33,383 [Spits, Gurgles] Towel! 300 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:36,984 [Narrator] And Lucille 2 showed up with Stan Sitwell... 301 00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:39,656 who did look a little like Edgar Winter. 302 00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:45,670 And one by one, they each enjoyed the activities of their romantic getaways. 303 00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:48,035 - Body chocolate? - No. 304 00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,131 [Narrator] Of course, in the spa... 305 00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:55,202 thejets proved too powerful for UncleJack's tiny legs. 306 00:16:55,314 --> 00:17:00,217 The spa portion also proved challenging to Stan Sitwell and Lucille 2... 307 00:17:00,319 --> 00:17:03,083 who in turn were being followed by Buster... 308 00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:07,049 and Gob. 309 00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:11,188 And soon, Michael and Tobias awaited their massage therapists. 310 00:17:11,296 --> 00:17:13,355 - [Humming] - So, uh, Tobias... 311 00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:17,663 I'm afraid that your wife might not actually end up here with you. 312 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:21,501 You know, Michael, perhaps I should buy you that tape recorder. 313 00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:24,405 Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? 314 00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,501 Well, I know I used it in theJacuzzi. 315 00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:29,547 And I apologize for that. I thought it was a pool toy. 316 00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:32,412 But you were supposed to be here with Sally Sitwell... 317 00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:35,248 but... you were afraid to ask her. 318 00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:39,188 So what do you do? You create issues, and you make up imaginary problems... 319 00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:42,419 like this merger I hear you're worried about. 320 00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:44,723 Well, uh, you're probably right- 321 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:48,459 - [Shouting] - About me being afraid of the word "No," but- 322 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:51,001 You know, the merger's real. I'm not imagining that. 323 00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:53,537 Lucille! Michael. 324 00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:56,039 - Michael? - What are you doing here? 325 00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:58,871 Following Lucille 2. She's with Sitwell. 326 00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:01,411 She probably figured that we'd never track her. 327 00:18:01,513 --> 00:18:04,914 [Chuckles] But we lost her. Everyone put on white robes and outsmarted us. 328 00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,952 Lucille! Lindsay? 329 00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:10,715 - [Jack Grunts] - Lindsay. 330 00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:13,883 Wait, wait, wait. Lindsay's here? With two men? 331 00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:15,892 Sort of one and a half. 332 00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:18,462 Tobias. Hey, Tobias! 333 00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:22,766 Lindsay, look. L- Oh. Lucille 2. I'm sorry. 334 00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:24,836 - And, miss, I don't know your name. - Tobias? 335 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,235 Lucille? Sitwell? What's this? 336 00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:29,307 It's our romantic getaway, Michael. 337 00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:32,571 Romantic? So, then the company isn't being taken over... 338 00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,306 so Lindsay doesn't have to be with UncleJack? 339 00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:38,850 Oh, Tobias. We gotta stop Linds-Tobias? 340 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:42,182 - How'd you like to take a nap, baldy? - [Gob] I'll handle this. 341 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:45,279 She's my girlfriend, pal. Take him down, Buster. 342 00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:48,689 Your girlfriend? That's why you were in her robe and slippies. 343 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,887 You weren't trying to get into her head. 344 00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:54,022 You were trying to get into her... robe and slippies. 345 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,693 She's my girlfriend! [Yells] 346 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,794 [Both Grunting] 347 00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:02,533 So this is who you choose over me? 348 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:06,441 [Grunts] She's not with him. She's with the Bullet. 349 00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:08,479 Oh, thank God. 350 00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:12,983 But if you want a fight, you got it. Shoot me! 351 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:19,556 [Lucille 2] Stop it! Stop it! 352 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:24,095 Look, I wasn't trying to sell your company, but I am now. 353 00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:26,858 The hell with all of you. 354 00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:29,024 I'm gonna try and lowball her. 355 00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:32,865 - Not while we're around. - We're not done here, Gob! 356 00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:37,070 [Michael] Tobias? Tobias, I'm sorry. 357 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,804 I set this up for Lindsay. Lindsay, I'm sorry. 358 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,847 - You were not on a date with Dragon. - I know that, Michael. 359 00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:46,145 It was pretty obvious when Dragon kept swooping UncleJack in for a kiss. 360 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:49,550 You said I never did anything for the company. L-I just thought I'd try. 361 00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:54,149 Tobias, I never thought you'd ever fight for me. 362 00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:58,662 I had no idea a 90-year-old man could cave in my chest cavity like that. 363 00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:01,995 Dragon, would you mind carrying my husband to the car? 364 00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:05,536 - [Cracking] - [Screams] 365 00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:07,969 [Lindsay] Oh, God. 366 00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:11,634 I love takin' a guy down! 367 00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:14,211 I think I snapped one of his ribs. 368 00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:16,838 No. It's my leg. 369 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,349 I'll bet that would hurt. 370 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:22,420 I guess the deal's off now, now that I actually need you to help us out? 371 00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:25,718 I'll make you a deal. You carry me, and I'll carry you. 372 00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:28,190 Thanks, UncleJack. 373 00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:31,421 - Yeah. I think we should get to the hospital. - Let me see. 374 00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:34,863 I think this duct tape is the only thing that's keeping the ankle on. 375 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:39,802 Okay. Ah. Right around there. Oh. I think you're right inside me now. 376 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,532 [Narrator] On the next Arrested Development. 377 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,767 UncleJack buys the company... 378 00:20:43,875 --> 00:20:45,809 but makes some changes ofhis own. 379 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,937 And he's gonna make me president. 380 00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:50,947 [Chuckles] 381 00:20:51,049 --> 00:20:53,677 [Narrator] Tobias listens to a day's worth ofhis own words... 382 00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:56,413 - to see what Michael was referring to. - [Tape Fast-forwarding] 383 00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:59,684 [Tobias On Tape] Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up. 384 00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:03,283 - Nothing wrong with that. - [Tobias On Tape] I've been in the film business for a while... 385 00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:05,590 but I just can't seem to get one in the can. 386 00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:07,722 - It's out of context. - [Tape Fast-forwards] 387 00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:11,428 [Tobias On Tape] I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak. 388 00:21:11,536 --> 00:21:14,994 [Narrator] And he realizes there is something distinct about the way he speaks. 389 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:18,338 Tobias, you blowhard! [Chuckles]