1
00:00:11,325 --> 00:00:12,694
(exclaiming)
2
00:00:18,076 --> 00:00:20,043
(school bell ringing)
3
00:00:22,204 --> 00:00:23,238
(Barney belches)
4
00:00:23,272 --> 00:00:25,256
(whistle blows)
5
00:00:25,274 --> 00:00:27,275
(yells)
6
00:00:31,447 --> 00:00:32,730
(beeping)
7
00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:40,038
(playing the blues)
8
00:00:41,056 --> 00:00:44,776
(playing the blues)
9
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,219
(gunfire)
10
00:00:55,254 --> 00:00:56,471
(tires screeching)
11
00:00:59,992 --> 00:01:01,152
(horn honking, Grampa shouts)
12
00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:06,297
D'oh!
13
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:07,465
(tires screeching)
14
00:01:07,499 --> 00:01:09,167
(grunts)
15
00:01:09,201 --> 00:01:11,152
ANNOUNCER:
In a world,
16
00:01:11,186 --> 00:01:15,406
in a hemisphere,
in a continent, in a country,
17
00:01:15,441 --> 00:01:19,077
in a state, in a city,
in a neighborhood,
18
00:01:19,111 --> 00:01:22,780
in a street, in a house,
in a living room,
19
00:01:22,815 --> 00:01:25,450
five heroes would be called.
20
00:01:26,151 --> 00:01:30,151
♪ The Simpsons 24x10 ♪
A Test Before Trying
Original Air Date on January 13, 2013
21
00:01:30,176 --> 00:01:35,176
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
22
00:01:37,963 --> 00:01:42,300
To tackle the most dangerous
quest of their lives.
23
00:01:42,334 --> 00:01:45,536
Let's sit on
that couch.
24
00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:51,809
♪
25
00:01:58,417 --> 00:02:00,485
They're in.
26
00:02:27,777 --> 00:02:30,746
And in retrospect,
city officials regret holding
27
00:02:30,780 --> 00:02:33,615
the gang truce negotiations
at Santa's Village.
28
00:02:33,650 --> 00:02:35,284
In other news,
we're about to go live
29
00:02:35,318 --> 00:02:37,469
to Mr. Burns' announcement
of his annual rate hike.
30
00:02:37,504 --> 00:02:39,304
Springfielders are about
to find out how much
31
00:02:39,339 --> 00:02:42,174
their electricity bills
will go up.
32
00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:46,178
I'm being told that Mr. Burns
is approaching the lectern now.
33
00:02:46,212 --> 00:02:49,581
Apparently there are a few
stairs he's struggling to climb.
34
00:02:49,616 --> 00:02:53,619
He's up the stairs but is now
being buffeted by the breeze.
35
00:02:53,653 --> 00:02:56,288
And they've put
some rocks in his pocket and...
36
00:02:56,322 --> 00:02:58,323
we're ready to go.
37
00:02:59,626 --> 00:03:02,111
To decide how much your
electricity bills will rise,
38
00:03:02,145 --> 00:03:05,180
I've assembled a team
of distinguished economists
39
00:03:05,215 --> 00:03:08,701
and placed plausible rate hike
percentages on their backs.
40
00:03:08,735 --> 00:03:11,820
Now we will use unfettered
free market principles
41
00:03:11,855 --> 00:03:13,555
to arrive at a number.
42
00:03:13,590 --> 00:03:15,457
Release the hounds.
43
00:03:15,492 --> 00:03:18,694
(dogs growling, people shouting)
44
00:03:19,879 --> 00:03:22,281
Notice how the
Keynesians climb trees
45
00:03:22,315 --> 00:03:25,134
while the Austrian school
economists hide under rocks.
46
00:03:25,168 --> 00:03:26,401
That is
fascinating.
47
00:03:31,574 --> 00:03:33,976
And there you have it,
folks, rates will rise
48
00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:35,377
a healthy 17%.
49
00:03:35,412 --> 00:03:37,179
And now, to help you disperse...
50
00:03:37,213 --> 00:03:40,315
Let me guess, you're going
to release the hounds again.
51
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:41,483
(chuckling):
Oh, don't be silly.
52
00:03:41,518 --> 00:03:44,119
Release the radioactive steam.
53
00:03:45,071 --> 00:03:46,822
(screaming)
54
00:03:46,856 --> 00:03:49,391
Electricity costs
are going up 17%.
55
00:03:49,426 --> 00:03:51,477
(laughing):
This station can't afford that.
56
00:03:51,528 --> 00:03:53,929
We're barely keeping
the lights on as it is.
57
00:03:53,947 --> 00:03:55,197
I know it's a
kid's show,
58
00:03:55,231 --> 00:03:56,365
but I got to
see you topless.
59
00:03:56,399 --> 00:03:58,534
This isn't
your dressing room.
60
00:03:58,568 --> 00:04:00,335
I know, but the
monkey's got a girl
61
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:02,871
in my dressing room.
62
00:04:02,906 --> 00:04:06,341
The decision to pull
the plug is never easy.
63
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,911
Particularly with
the 17% rate hike.
64
00:04:08,945 --> 00:04:10,746
Do I get a vote?
65
00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:13,949
That's just air
escaping his lungs.
66
00:04:18,121 --> 00:04:22,191
Oh, I guess we'll be peeling
our shrimp by hand this year.
67
00:04:22,225 --> 00:04:24,259
We can keep the shrimp
de-veiner, though, right?
68
00:04:24,294 --> 00:04:25,561
I'm afraid not.
69
00:04:27,447 --> 00:04:29,331
And this goes, too.
70
00:04:30,950 --> 00:04:33,452
When I found out
shrimp cocktails had no alcohol,
71
00:04:33,486 --> 00:04:34,987
I really lost interest.
72
00:04:36,289 --> 00:04:37,756
Children,
we can no longer afford
73
00:04:37,791 --> 00:04:39,625
to use anything electric.
74
00:04:39,659 --> 00:04:42,694
However, we will still be able
to watch today's film,
75
00:04:42,729 --> 00:04:45,114
thanks to the magic
of potato power.
76
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,990
NARRATOR: Sometimes Y: the story
of a vowel that goes both ways.
77
00:04:55,024 --> 00:04:56,859
(losing power)
78
00:04:58,328 --> 00:05:01,497
Emergency meeting in the
faculty lounge. BYOB.
79
00:05:01,531 --> 00:05:03,715
Well, class,
I don't mind leaving you,
80
00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:06,301
because one of you is my spy.
81
00:05:06,336 --> 00:05:09,071
You said
you weren't going to tell.
82
00:05:09,105 --> 00:05:11,306
Oh, wait, you didn't.
83
00:05:11,341 --> 00:05:15,477
So no one knows
who the Milhouse is.
84
00:05:17,013 --> 00:05:18,280
The school is broke.
85
00:05:18,314 --> 00:05:20,582
I had to sell
all the trombone mutes.
86
00:05:20,617 --> 00:05:22,184
(wah-wah)
87
00:05:22,218 --> 00:05:23,852
(groans)
Why did I sell one to Nelson?
88
00:05:23,887 --> 00:05:25,420
(wah-wah)
89
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:26,955
Hmm. Sounds better than
half the kids in the band.
90
00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:28,757
So does a leaf blower.
91
00:05:28,791 --> 00:05:31,760
Look, the district can't afford
to keep every school open,
92
00:05:31,794 --> 00:05:34,830
so all the kids will take
a standardized test.
93
00:05:34,864 --> 00:05:37,833
Whichever school scores the
lowest will be closed forever.
94
00:05:37,867 --> 00:05:39,918
So you're saying, if our kids
don't pass this test,
95
00:05:39,953 --> 00:05:42,154
you're shutting down
Springfield Elementary?
96
00:05:42,188 --> 00:05:44,590
I don't teach to the test.
I teach 'em to dodge balls.
97
00:05:44,624 --> 00:05:46,024
Things they can use in life.
98
00:05:46,059 --> 00:05:47,025
How is that useful?
99
00:05:47,060 --> 00:05:48,143
Ow.
100
00:05:48,178 --> 00:05:50,279
We all came here
to avoid scrutiny.
101
00:05:50,313 --> 00:05:51,847
Who else would
hire a lunch lady
102
00:05:51,881 --> 00:05:53,682
accused of poisoning
her husband?
103
00:05:53,716 --> 00:05:54,683
Never convicted.
104
00:05:54,717 --> 00:05:56,151
They couldn't
find the body.
105
00:05:56,186 --> 00:05:58,487
Anyone care for some
chicken-Pete pie?
106
00:05:58,521 --> 00:06:00,989
Did you say "chicken-Pete pie"?
107
00:06:01,024 --> 00:06:02,491
His friends called him Pete.
108
00:06:06,996 --> 00:06:09,331
Good-bye, my electrical friends.
109
00:06:09,365 --> 00:06:12,017
I can't afford to use you,
so I'm doing what any good
110
00:06:12,051 --> 00:06:14,303
American would do:
throw you away.
111
00:06:14,337 --> 00:06:15,337
(gasps)
112
00:06:18,574 --> 00:06:21,476
(gasps)
And it still works.
113
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,679
This could come in handy.
114
00:06:23,713 --> 00:06:26,348
Ah, ah, ah, but let me check
that list of things
115
00:06:26,382 --> 00:06:28,517
Marge said never to bring home.
116
00:06:28,551 --> 00:06:33,722
Dogs, cats, octopuses,
octopi, octopuseseseses.
117
00:06:33,756 --> 00:06:36,992
Parking meter,
you're working for me now.
118
00:06:37,026 --> 00:06:39,928
Mannequin heads,
you're working for me now.
119
00:06:39,963 --> 00:06:41,630
Lot of people at the dump today.
120
00:06:53,576 --> 00:06:55,577
The proctors
are here.
121
00:06:55,612 --> 00:06:57,579
Their leader seems
to be a woman.
122
00:06:57,614 --> 00:06:59,248
Catalog poses.
123
00:07:04,454 --> 00:07:07,623
("Halloween Main Theme"
by John Carpenter playing)
124
00:07:30,647 --> 00:07:33,582
(sighs) When will they finish
grading those tests?
125
00:07:33,616 --> 00:07:36,385
I hate waiting; that's
why I hate risotto.
126
00:07:36,419 --> 00:07:37,619
Even mushroom
risotto?
127
00:07:37,654 --> 00:07:39,121
What do you think?!
128
00:07:39,155 --> 00:07:40,455
So...
(chuckles nervously)
129
00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:42,090
...how'd we do?
130
00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:44,543
Not as bad as the worst school
in the state.
131
00:07:44,577 --> 00:07:45,911
Oh, thank God.
132
00:07:45,945 --> 00:07:48,613
You did worse than the
worst school in the state,
133
00:07:48,648 --> 00:07:49,881
which now makes
this school
134
00:07:49,916 --> 00:07:51,717
the worst school
in the state.
135
00:07:51,751 --> 00:07:53,952
Why did you say that to us
in the meanest way you could?
136
00:07:53,987 --> 00:07:56,905
To show you
that there's no way out.
137
00:07:56,939 --> 00:07:58,974
Except...
Except what?
138
00:07:59,008 --> 00:08:01,243
No, I meant you should
accept your terrible fate.
139
00:08:01,277 --> 00:08:02,978
Oh.
140
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,455
This place
is worse
141
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,390
than the elementary
school in prison.
142
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:14,510
This student filled in
everything but the ovals.
143
00:08:14,544 --> 00:08:15,978
In art school
he'd be a genius.
144
00:08:16,012 --> 00:08:17,179
This isn't an art school.
145
00:08:17,213 --> 00:08:19,314
We tried to have ourselves
accredited as one,
146
00:08:19,349 --> 00:08:21,817
but no one here could,
uh, draw the pirate.
147
00:08:21,851 --> 00:08:23,185
Children, Groundskeeper Willie
will direct you
148
00:08:23,219 --> 00:08:24,720
to your new school district.
149
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,523
Any correlation to your talents,
needs, or friends
150
00:08:27,557 --> 00:08:29,658
is completely coincidental.
151
00:08:29,692 --> 00:08:32,161
Sherri, you're going
to West Ogdenville.
152
00:08:32,195 --> 00:08:33,962
Terri, North Haverbrook.
153
00:08:33,997 --> 00:08:36,581
But we've never
been separated.
154
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:39,351
I'm not sure
we can even live apart.
155
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:44,990
Stop your whinging.
156
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:47,993
It's not like you're losing
a rake or a backhoe.
157
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:51,063
Nelson, you're off to
Arkham Elementary School
158
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,098
for the
Criminally Insane.
159
00:08:56,435 --> 00:08:58,570
(whistling)
160
00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:00,739
Well, I'm glad
you're not upset.
161
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:02,824
All my extra credit
points are like
162
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,561
frequent flyer miles
on a bankrupt airline.
163
00:09:05,595 --> 00:09:08,330
Hey, don't blame me.
I didn't even take the test.
164
00:09:08,364 --> 00:09:09,531
You didn't?
165
00:09:09,566 --> 00:09:11,433
Is there no limit
to your disrespect?
166
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,135
Eh, I had
something better to do.
167
00:09:15,205 --> 00:09:18,557
(laughing)
168
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:29,468
Driving you crazy instead
of pulling off your legs.
169
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,703
I've really matured.
170
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,772
Wait a minute.
171
00:09:33,806 --> 00:09:35,924
If you take the test now,
your score could raise
172
00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:39,745
the average
and save the school.
173
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:43,699
Proctor Clarkson, one student
still hasn't taken the test.
174
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:46,485
(gasping) Let it be Martin,
let it be Martin.
175
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:47,319
It's Bart.
176
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:48,954
(all groaning)
177
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:50,422
I have an aunt named Hope.
178
00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:52,257
Perhaps you'd like
to kill her as well.
179
00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:54,826
Bart will
take his exam
180
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:56,728
first thing
tomorrow morning.
181
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,831
Bart, I'm begging you
to try and study.
182
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:02,668
When I think begging, I don't
imagine someone standing up.
183
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,753
Sorry, I can't
grant a favor
184
00:10:04,787 --> 00:10:06,772
to someone I don't
respect anymore.
185
00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:09,241
You can spin in my chair!
186
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,260
Whee!
187
00:10:11,294 --> 00:10:13,528
Spinner!
Slow down.
188
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:20,135
(chuckles)
189
00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:24,406
Well, sure the Lord wouldn't
have placed his meter there
190
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,308
if he didn't want me to park.
191
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,514
This is the easiest money
I've ever made.
192
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:35,150
Lugging around
a 90-pound parking meter.
193
00:10:39,155 --> 00:10:40,956
It's not
that kind.
194
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:49,798
All right, now to drag
the meter to the next idiot.
195
00:10:49,832 --> 00:10:52,034
Oh, God, my back.
196
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,535
(laughing)
197
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:54,536
Suckers.
198
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,773
Oh, my disks are grinding.
199
00:10:57,807 --> 00:11:00,442
(laughing)
200
00:11:00,476 --> 00:11:01,677
Easy money.
201
00:11:01,711 --> 00:11:03,011
(grunting)
202
00:11:03,046 --> 00:11:04,630
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
203
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,933
♪ Turn and face
the strange ch-ch-changes ♪
204
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,337
♪ Don't wanna be a richer man
205
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:15,207
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
206
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:18,710
♪ Turn and face
the strange ch-ch-changes. ♪
207
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,149
(laughing)
208
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,318
Thanks for the
freedom of speech, dorks.
209
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,587
(whistling)
210
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,489
Uh, we're cool, right, boy?
211
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,624
Nothing a few George
Washingtons won't solve.
212
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,494
(grunts)
213
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:39,264
Now, to sleep
the sleep of the just.
214
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:40,298
(sighs)
215
00:11:44,387 --> 00:11:45,887
(humming)
216
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,663
Godspeed, old chum.
217
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,432
Pass the test
and your lunch money is yours.
218
00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,235
I'm a kid you've never seen,
and I speak for all
219
00:12:00,269 --> 00:12:01,553
the kids you've
never seen.
220
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,457
Do it, man, or you'll
never see us again.
221
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:11,113
Principal Skinner, could you help me
sharpen this pencil?
222
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,615
I guess a little circular
grinding might relax me.
223
00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:16,718
I can't do this.
I'm not ready.
224
00:12:16,753 --> 00:12:18,086
You really didn't study?
225
00:12:18,121 --> 00:12:19,955
Well, I slept
on my books,
226
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,757
so I might have gotten
something through osmosis.
227
00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:23,759
So, you know what osmosis is?
228
00:12:23,793 --> 00:12:25,627
Uh, pajamas?
229
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,896
Let me make this crystal
clear to you, Simpson.
230
00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:29,631
If you don't
pass this test,
231
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,733
it will destroy the school.
232
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,257
(laughing)
233
00:12:44,295 --> 00:12:47,597
Our entire school riding on
that coffee can head of yours.
234
00:12:47,631 --> 00:12:49,499
We've got to get you
more time to study.
235
00:12:49,533 --> 00:12:50,533
But how?
236
00:12:51,735 --> 00:12:53,369
Pull the fire alarm.
237
00:12:53,404 --> 00:12:55,071
I'd do it,
but everyone's looking at me.
238
00:12:59,276 --> 00:13:02,178
What to do, what to do?
239
00:13:02,212 --> 00:13:03,513
Don't do it, Seymour.
240
00:13:03,547 --> 00:13:05,915
You've never broken
school rules. Ever.
241
00:13:05,949 --> 00:13:07,083
You wimp.
242
00:13:07,885 --> 00:13:10,136
(alarm ringing)
243
00:13:12,256 --> 00:13:14,641
Children, remain calm,
find your disaster buddy,
244
00:13:14,675 --> 00:13:16,409
which is different
from your lab partner
245
00:13:16,443 --> 00:13:18,261
but may be the same
as your lunchroom buddy.
246
00:13:18,295 --> 00:13:20,313
BART:
Well, well, well...
247
00:13:21,765 --> 00:13:24,984
Looks like Mr. Vanilla
just grew some chocolate chips.
248
00:13:25,002 --> 00:13:28,538
Save your analogies for the
analogy portion of the exam.
249
00:13:28,589 --> 00:13:30,206
I bought you time, boy.
Don't blow it.
250
00:13:30,257 --> 00:13:31,758
I won't.
251
00:13:31,792 --> 00:13:34,460
I'm going to ignore everything
else on my schedule.
252
00:13:35,746 --> 00:13:38,498
Pass this test
and the eggs are on me.
253
00:13:38,532 --> 00:13:41,417
They will be, Seymour.
They will be.
254
00:13:43,787 --> 00:13:45,655
(laughing)
255
00:13:45,689 --> 00:13:47,657
I'm king of the bus station.
256
00:13:49,426 --> 00:13:51,594
Meter, meter,
quarter cheater?
257
00:13:51,628 --> 00:13:54,330
A rogue parking meter has been
terrorizing the streets.
258
00:13:54,365 --> 00:13:57,633
Experts estimate the cost
to taxpayers at north of $50.
259
00:13:57,668 --> 00:13:59,152
That's right, Kent.
260
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,120
The entire force is on
the lookout for anyone
261
00:14:01,155 --> 00:14:03,172
with an excessive
amount of change.
262
00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:06,175
Our top criminologists
have a theory
263
00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:08,778
as to what the suspect
just might look like.
264
00:14:08,812 --> 00:14:10,680
But, of course,
that question mark could be
265
00:14:10,714 --> 00:14:12,415
an exclamation point
or an interrobang.
266
00:14:12,449 --> 00:14:15,852
And the man or woman
could be Hispanic or,
267
00:14:15,886 --> 00:14:20,156
most frightening,
contain no punctuation at all.
268
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,768
So, how's the studying going?
269
00:14:31,802 --> 00:14:33,069
When I start I'll tell you.
270
00:14:34,905 --> 00:14:37,273
This is the most selfish
thing you've ever done.
271
00:14:37,324 --> 00:14:39,859
You're letting your friends
go hang because you
272
00:14:39,893 --> 00:14:43,529
are lazy and selfish and, hey,
are you falling asleep
273
00:14:43,564 --> 00:14:44,897
just to spite me?
274
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:54,624
Hey, why aren't
you eating that?
275
00:14:54,658 --> 00:14:57,026
There's four of us
and eight slices.
276
00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:58,795
We don't know how
to divide it.
277
00:14:58,846 --> 00:15:02,982
Something Stu forgot
the music he loves.
278
00:15:03,016 --> 00:15:07,086
Mrs. Krabappel?
Are you a teacher of the night?
279
00:15:07,121 --> 00:15:08,855
Ha, I wish I
was a hooker.
280
00:15:08,889 --> 00:15:10,723
No one in this town
has any money.
281
00:15:10,758 --> 00:15:13,025
But the worst thing is what's
happened to the school.
282
00:15:13,060 --> 00:15:15,378
No, no!
283
00:15:15,412 --> 00:15:17,713
(all grumbling)
284
00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:21,317
(groans)
285
00:15:21,351 --> 00:15:22,852
What have I done?
286
00:15:25,205 --> 00:15:26,672
Spinach farm, huh?
287
00:15:26,707 --> 00:15:28,841
That's right,
you talk in your sleep.
288
00:15:28,876 --> 00:15:31,410
Lisa, I want to
pass that test.
289
00:15:31,445 --> 00:15:32,945
But I need your help.
290
00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:34,781
I have all sorts of problems:
291
00:15:34,815 --> 00:15:37,049
Lack of attention,
I'm afraid of ovals,
292
00:15:37,084 --> 00:15:38,701
I only know 24 letters.
293
00:15:38,735 --> 00:15:40,419
Don't you fall asleep on me.
294
00:15:42,956 --> 00:15:46,025
Excuse me,
you're that proctor
295
00:15:46,059 --> 00:15:48,528
that's shutting down
my children's school.
296
00:15:48,562 --> 00:15:49,962
I don't shut anything down.
297
00:15:49,997 --> 00:15:51,731
People cut their own heads,
298
00:15:51,765 --> 00:15:53,599
and I just tip 'em
into the basket.
299
00:15:53,634 --> 00:15:57,436
You've been in public education
a long time, haven't you?
300
00:16:08,499 --> 00:16:09,832
(grunting)
301
00:16:12,452 --> 00:16:14,403
Freeze,
Jack Nickel-scum.
302
00:16:14,438 --> 00:16:16,088
Wha...?
303
00:16:16,123 --> 00:16:18,975
You know what they do
to parking meter thieves in prison?
304
00:16:19,009 --> 00:16:20,877
They probably treat 'em
pretty well.
305
00:16:20,911 --> 00:16:24,113
But when you get out, you're
not eligible for jury duty.
306
00:16:24,147 --> 00:16:25,982
Which, again,
sounds pretty good.
307
00:16:27,651 --> 00:16:29,552
Eat silver, copper.
308
00:16:29,586 --> 00:16:30,720
D'oh!
309
00:16:30,771 --> 00:16:32,021
(tires screeching)
310
00:16:35,759 --> 00:16:36,959
Stay with me, man.
311
00:16:36,994 --> 00:16:38,261
Stay with me.
312
00:16:40,964 --> 00:16:43,232
No, no!
313
00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:46,969
You're the first successful
business I've ever run.
314
00:16:48,338 --> 00:16:49,772
It's hopeless.
315
00:16:49,806 --> 00:16:52,308
I can't make up for ten years
of goofing off in one day.
316
00:16:52,342 --> 00:16:53,976
I need two days.
317
00:16:54,011 --> 00:16:57,013
Look, the thing is,
it's more important to know
318
00:16:57,047 --> 00:16:59,348
how to take a test
than knowing what's on it.
319
00:16:59,383 --> 00:17:00,983
So do the ones you know first.
320
00:17:01,018 --> 00:17:03,286
If you don't know one,
guess "B" and move on.
321
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:06,789
Now, what is the capital
of Massachusetts?
322
00:17:06,823 --> 00:17:08,524
Uh, "B"?
323
00:17:08,559 --> 00:17:09,659
Very good.
324
00:17:15,529 --> 00:17:16,996
(ticking)
325
00:17:17,031 --> 00:17:20,353
BART:
Okay, this is it. Do or die.
326
00:17:20,453 --> 00:17:22,421
D'oh. Will you stop that?
327
00:17:25,625 --> 00:17:28,644
Burly Paper Towels,
Burlyville, Minnesota.
328
00:17:28,678 --> 00:17:30,546
Dear Sir or Madam:
329
00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:34,416
Your paper towel packets
promised 102 sheets of towels.
330
00:17:34,451 --> 00:17:37,419
But I was blessed
to receive 103.
331
00:17:37,454 --> 00:17:39,621
I'm returning
the extra towel, unused...
332
00:17:39,656 --> 00:17:41,924
(jingling)
Hmm?
333
00:17:41,958 --> 00:17:45,060
A pillow case full
of quarters?
334
00:17:45,095 --> 00:17:46,895
Where did you get
that money?
335
00:17:46,930 --> 00:17:48,897
And what have you done
with the pillows?
336
00:17:48,932 --> 00:17:51,600
The pillows are safe
at my workstation.
337
00:17:51,618 --> 00:17:52,985
As for the quarters, well,
338
00:17:53,036 --> 00:17:55,771
I'm ashamed to tell
you what I did.
339
00:17:55,805 --> 00:17:57,639
How long have
you been in there?
340
00:18:01,277 --> 00:18:03,078
Well, we're going
to turn this change
341
00:18:03,113 --> 00:18:04,630
into change for the better.
342
00:18:04,664 --> 00:18:05,647
Whoo-hoo!
343
00:18:05,682 --> 00:18:08,183
And I wish that Mr. Teeny
gets a banana,
344
00:18:08,218 --> 00:18:09,819
that the Isotopes emerge
from this season
345
00:18:09,853 --> 00:18:11,086
with a great blooper reel.
346
00:18:11,121 --> 00:18:12,754
I wish that
wishing wells worked
347
00:18:12,789 --> 00:18:15,908
so I wasn't tossing
my money away
348
00:18:15,942 --> 00:18:17,910
and that Marge
loves me forever
349
00:18:17,944 --> 00:18:22,147
no matter what
stupid things I do.
350
00:18:22,182 --> 00:18:23,248
(grunts)
351
00:18:23,283 --> 00:18:24,933
(splash)
352
00:18:24,968 --> 00:18:28,670
And I hope Bart passes his
test and saves the school.
353
00:18:28,705 --> 00:18:31,306
Way to get us back
on topic, Marge.
354
00:18:37,347 --> 00:18:40,015
If you have to
guess, guess "B."
355
00:18:41,351 --> 00:18:44,720
Not every
question!
356
00:18:44,754 --> 00:18:48,557
The second that boy fails,
we're knocking down this school.
357
00:18:48,591 --> 00:18:50,292
Please have
a little faith.
358
00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:51,627
I hear you,
Seymour.
359
00:18:51,661 --> 00:18:53,395
Start the upswing!
360
00:18:57,433 --> 00:19:00,502
The least common blood type is
A) B,
361
00:19:00,537 --> 00:19:03,071
B) A, C) AB,
362
00:19:03,106 --> 00:19:05,691
D) O... d'oh!
Ten more seconds.
363
00:19:05,725 --> 00:19:09,511
("Halloween Main Theme"
by John Carpenter playing)
364
00:19:20,573 --> 00:19:23,575
And the last
answer, "C."
365
00:19:24,611 --> 00:19:27,512
Is correct.
366
00:19:27,547 --> 00:19:30,532
Congratulations,
you made it by one.
367
00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:32,200
That'll do, bug, that'll do.
368
00:19:32,218 --> 00:19:35,220
("Superman Theme"
by John Williams playing)
369
00:19:37,857 --> 00:19:39,324
He passed.
370
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:40,375
Stop that ball!
371
00:19:42,412 --> 00:19:44,730
Now your mom can see you
work from her house.
372
00:19:44,764 --> 00:19:46,865
Seymour, stop
slouching!
373
00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:58,343
I'm not sure if you gave
my son any extra help,
374
00:19:58,378 --> 00:20:00,545
but if you did,
thank you.
375
00:20:00,580 --> 00:20:03,615
Perhaps this was
a test of my humanity.
376
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:06,251
A test I like
to think I passed.
377
00:20:06,286 --> 00:20:10,455
Would you like to have coffee
or dinner, or just talk?
378
00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:13,308
None of the above.
379
00:20:13,343 --> 00:20:15,093
Testward ho!
380
00:20:18,431 --> 00:20:21,433
(Beethoven's "Symphony No. 6"
playing)
381
00:20:23,903 --> 00:20:25,938
(wind blowing)
382
00:20:25,972 --> 00:20:27,139
(growls)
383
00:20:29,025 --> 00:20:30,792
Is this Wilson
Elementary?
384
00:20:30,827 --> 00:20:32,661
No.
Sorry.
385
00:20:40,169 --> 00:20:45,169
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
386
00:21:26,086 --> 00:21:28,087
Shh!