1
00:00:26,908 --> 00:00:28,277
(exclaiming)
2
00:00:33,415 --> 00:00:35,382
(school bell ringing)
3
00:00:37,718 --> 00:00:38,752
(Barney belches)
4
00:00:39,467 --> 00:00:40,762
(whistle blows)
5
00:00:40,788 --> 00:00:42,789
(yells)
6
00:00:46,849 --> 00:00:48,132
(beeping)
7
00:00:53,395 --> 00:00:55,496
(playing the blues)
8
00:00:56,470 --> 00:01:00,190
(playing the blues)
9
00:01:08,547 --> 00:01:09,714
(gunfire)
10
00:01:11,149 --> 00:01:12,366
(tires screeching)
11
00:01:15,725 --> 00:01:17,121
(horn honking, Grampa shouts)
12
00:01:20,651 --> 00:01:21,876
D'oh!
13
00:01:22,190 --> 00:01:23,323
(tires screeching)
14
00:01:23,363 --> 00:01:25,031
(grunts)
15
00:01:25,609 --> 00:01:26,890
ANNOUNCER:
In a world,
16
00:01:26,919 --> 00:01:30,810
in a hemisphere,
in a continent, in a country,
17
00:01:30,842 --> 00:01:34,411
in a state, in a city,
in a neighborhood,
18
00:01:34,449 --> 00:01:38,194
in a street, in a house,
in a living room,
19
00:01:38,273 --> 00:01:40,908
five heroes would be called.
20
00:01:40,952 --> 00:01:44,952
♪ The Simpsons 24x10 ♪
A Test Before Trying
Original Air Date on January 13, 2013
21
00:01:45,115 --> 00:01:50,115
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
22
00:01:53,933 --> 00:01:58,138
To tackle the most dangerous
quest of their lives.
23
00:01:58,172 --> 00:02:01,374
Let's sit on that couch.
24
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:07,392
♪
25
00:02:14,094 --> 00:02:15,763
They're in.
26
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,329
And in retrospect,
city officials regret holding
27
00:02:46,363 --> 00:02:49,198
the gang truce negotiations
at Santa's Village.
28
00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:50,867
In other news,
we're about to go live
29
00:02:50,901 --> 00:02:53,032
to Mr. Burns' announcement
of his annual rate hike.
30
00:02:53,055 --> 00:02:54,874
Springfielders are about
to find out how much
31
00:02:54,922 --> 00:02:57,471
their electricity bills
will go up.
32
00:02:57,521 --> 00:03:01,213
I'm being told that Mr. Burns
is approaching the lectern now.
33
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:04,995
Apparently there are a few
stairs he's struggling to climb.
34
00:03:05,199 --> 00:03:09,202
He's up the stairs but is now
being buffeted by the breeze.
35
00:03:09,236 --> 00:03:11,892
And they've put
some rocks in his pocket and...
36
00:03:11,936 --> 00:03:13,937
we're ready to go.
37
00:03:14,877 --> 00:03:17,373
To decide how much your
electricity bills will rise,
38
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:20,432
I've assembled a team
of distinguished economists
39
00:03:20,529 --> 00:03:24,096
and placed plausible rate hike
percentages on their backs.
40
00:03:24,318 --> 00:03:27,173
Now we will use unfettered
free market principles
41
00:03:27,197 --> 00:03:28,897
to arrive at a number.
42
00:03:29,173 --> 00:03:31,040
Release the hounds.
43
00:03:31,075 --> 00:03:34,277
(dogs growling, people shouting)
44
00:03:35,312 --> 00:03:37,609
Notice how the
Keynesians climb trees
45
00:03:37,635 --> 00:03:40,454
while the Austrian school
economists hide under rocks.
46
00:03:40,482 --> 00:03:41,882
That is fascinating.
47
00:03:47,138 --> 00:03:50,676
And there you have it,
folks, rates will rise a healthy 17%.
48
00:03:50,695 --> 00:03:52,462
And now, to help you disperse...
49
00:03:52,502 --> 00:03:55,604
Let me guess, you're going
to release the hounds again.
50
00:03:55,639 --> 00:03:56,772
(chuckling):
Oh, don't be silly.
51
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,420
Release the radioactive steam.
52
00:04:00,429 --> 00:04:02,180
(screaming)
53
00:04:02,238 --> 00:04:04,773
Electricity costs
are going up 17%.
54
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,603
(laughing):
This station can't afford that.
55
00:04:06,616 --> 00:04:09,017
We're barely keeping
the lights on as it is.
56
00:04:09,128 --> 00:04:11,916
I know it's a kid's show,
but I got to see you topless.
57
00:04:11,956 --> 00:04:13,889
This isn't your dressing room.
58
00:04:13,906 --> 00:04:15,524
I know, but the
monkey's got a girl
59
00:04:15,543 --> 00:04:17,605
in my dressing room.
60
00:04:18,489 --> 00:04:21,508
The decision to pull
the plug is never easy.
61
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:24,087
But with electricity so
expensive now...
62
00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:25,941
Do I get a vote?
63
00:04:25,969 --> 00:04:29,138
That's just air
escaping his lungs.
64
00:04:33,329 --> 00:04:37,452
Oh, I guess we'll be peeling
our shrimp by hand this year.
65
00:04:37,539 --> 00:04:39,573
We can keep the shrimp
de-veiner, though, right?
66
00:04:39,626 --> 00:04:41,005
I'm afraid not.
67
00:04:43,204 --> 00:04:44,852
And this goes, too.
68
00:04:44,877 --> 00:04:46,446
Yeah. Good riddance.
69
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:48,858
When I found out
shrimp cocktails had no alcohol,
70
00:04:48,877 --> 00:04:50,679
I really lost interest.
71
00:04:51,872 --> 00:04:53,339
Children,
we can no longer afford
72
00:04:53,374 --> 00:04:55,001
to use anything electric.
73
00:04:55,032 --> 00:04:58,288
However, we will still be able
to watch today's film,
74
00:04:58,312 --> 00:05:00,782
thanks to the magic
of potato power.
75
00:05:00,857 --> 00:05:02,259
Ha!
76
00:05:06,621 --> 00:05:11,057
NARRATOR: Sometimes Y: the story
of a vowel that goes both ways.
77
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:12,938
(losing power)
78
00:05:13,654 --> 00:05:16,903
Emergency meeting in the
faculty lounge. BYOB.
79
00:05:17,045 --> 00:05:19,100
Well, class,
I don't mind leaving you,
80
00:05:19,125 --> 00:05:21,676
because one of you is my spy.
81
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:24,435
You said
you weren't going to tell.
82
00:05:24,638 --> 00:05:26,839
Oh, wait, you didn't.
83
00:05:27,017 --> 00:05:30,836
So no one knows
who the Milhouse is.
84
00:05:32,352 --> 00:05:33,619
The school is broke.
85
00:05:33,652 --> 00:05:36,112
I had to sell
all the trombone mutes.
86
00:05:36,262 --> 00:05:37,596
(wah-wah)
87
00:05:37,614 --> 00:05:39,679
(groans)
Why did I sell one to Nelson?
88
00:05:39,704 --> 00:05:41,085
(wah-wah)
89
00:05:41,106 --> 00:05:43,637
Hmm. Sounds better than
half the kids in the band.
90
00:05:43,686 --> 00:05:44,724
So does a leaf blower.
91
00:05:44,748 --> 00:05:47,681
Look, the district can't afford
to keep every school open,
92
00:05:47,708 --> 00:05:50,185
so all the kids will take
a standardized test.
93
00:05:50,215 --> 00:05:53,525
Whichever school scores the
lowest will be closed forever.
94
00:05:53,549 --> 00:05:55,586
So you're saying, if our kids
don't pass this test,
95
00:05:55,610 --> 00:05:57,505
you're shutting down
Springfield Elementary?
96
00:05:57,545 --> 00:06:00,054
I don't teach to the test.
I teach 'em to dodge balls.
97
00:06:00,106 --> 00:06:01,334
Things they can use in life.
98
00:06:01,352 --> 00:06:02,384
How is that useful?
99
00:06:02,424 --> 00:06:03,507
Ow.
100
00:06:03,542 --> 00:06:05,603
We all came here
to avoid scrutiny.
101
00:06:05,627 --> 00:06:07,219
Who else would
hire a lunch lady
102
00:06:07,244 --> 00:06:08,711
accused of poisoning
her husband?
103
00:06:08,748 --> 00:06:09,842
Never convicted.
104
00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:11,348
They couldn't find the body.
105
00:06:11,381 --> 00:06:13,821
Anyone care for some
chicken-Pete pie?
106
00:06:13,866 --> 00:06:16,334
Did you say "chicken-Pete pie"?
107
00:06:16,369 --> 00:06:17,836
His friends called him Pete.
108
00:06:22,310 --> 00:06:24,427
Good-bye, my electrical friends.
109
00:06:24,445 --> 00:06:27,215
I can't afford to use you,
so I'm doing what any good
110
00:06:27,239 --> 00:06:30,010
American would do:
throw you away.
111
00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:32,366
(gasps)
A Parking meter.
112
00:06:34,276 --> 00:06:36,926
(gasps)
And it still works.
113
00:06:36,951 --> 00:06:38,914
This could come in handy.
114
00:06:38,933 --> 00:06:41,626
Ah, ah, ah, but let me check
that list of things
115
00:06:41,665 --> 00:06:43,541
Marge said never to bring home.
116
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:48,742
Dogs, cats, octopuses,
octopi, octopuseseseses.
117
00:06:48,858 --> 00:06:51,883
Parking meter,
you're working for me now.
118
00:06:51,907 --> 00:06:54,809
Mannequin heads,
you're working for me now.
119
00:06:55,146 --> 00:06:56,954
Lot of people at the dump today.
120
00:07:09,309 --> 00:07:10,849
The proctors are here.
121
00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:12,900
Their leader seems
to be a woman.
122
00:07:12,935 --> 00:07:14,569
Catalog poses.
123
00:07:19,775 --> 00:07:22,944
("Halloween Main Theme"
by John Carpenter playing)
124
00:07:46,024 --> 00:07:48,881
(sighs) When will they finish
grading those tests?
125
00:07:48,893 --> 00:07:51,662
I hate waiting; that's
why I hate risotto.
126
00:07:51,701 --> 00:07:52,901
Even mushroom risotto?
127
00:07:52,924 --> 00:07:54,391
What do you think?!
128
00:07:54,476 --> 00:07:56,026
So...
(chuckles nervously)
129
00:07:56,067 --> 00:07:57,401
...how'd we do?
130
00:07:57,446 --> 00:07:59,864
Not as bad as the worst school
in the state.
131
00:07:59,898 --> 00:08:01,232
Oh, thank God.
132
00:08:01,266 --> 00:08:03,825
You did worse than the
worst school in the state,
133
00:08:03,856 --> 00:08:07,037
which now makes this school
the worst school in the state.
134
00:08:07,072 --> 00:08:09,273
Why did you say that to us
in the meanest way you could?
135
00:08:09,308 --> 00:08:12,326
To show you
that there's no way out.
136
00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:14,347
- Except...
- Except what?
137
00:08:14,377 --> 00:08:17,502
No, I meant you should
accept your terrible fate.
138
00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:18,640
Oh.
139
00:08:23,129 --> 00:08:24,864
This place is worse
140
00:08:24,898 --> 00:08:26,799
than the elementary
school in prison.
141
00:08:26,833 --> 00:08:29,919
This student filled in
everything but the ovals.
142
00:08:29,953 --> 00:08:31,387
In art school he'd be a genius.
143
00:08:31,421 --> 00:08:32,677
This isn't an art school.
144
00:08:32,709 --> 00:08:34,509
We tried to have ourselves
accredited as one,
145
00:08:34,534 --> 00:08:37,165
but no one here could,
uh, draw the pirate.
146
00:08:37,378 --> 00:08:39,081
Children, Groundskeeper Willie
will direct you
147
00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:40,262
to your new school district.
148
00:08:40,292 --> 00:08:43,502
Any correlation to your talents,
needs, or friends
149
00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:45,052
is completely coincidental.
150
00:08:45,076 --> 00:08:47,602
Sherri, you're going
to West Ogdenville.
151
00:08:47,641 --> 00:08:49,408
Terri, North Haverbrook.
152
00:08:49,437 --> 00:08:52,067
But we've never been separated.
153
00:08:52,113 --> 00:08:54,865
I'm not sure
we can even live apart.
154
00:08:58,999 --> 00:09:00,399
Stop your whinging.
155
00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:03,280
It's not like you're losing
a rake or a backhoe.
156
00:09:03,311 --> 00:09:06,483
Nelson, you're off to
Arkham Elementary School
157
00:09:06,506 --> 00:09:08,507
for the Criminally Insane.
158
00:09:11,787 --> 00:09:13,922
(whistling)
159
00:09:14,127 --> 00:09:16,261
Well, I'm glad
you're not upset.
160
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,259
All my extra credit
points are like
161
00:09:18,285 --> 00:09:20,970
frequent flyer miles
on a bankrupt airline.
162
00:09:21,004 --> 00:09:23,739
Hey, don't blame me.
I didn't even take the test.
163
00:09:23,766 --> 00:09:24,786
You didn't?
164
00:09:24,819 --> 00:09:26,890
Is there no limit
to your disrespect?
165
00:09:26,988 --> 00:09:28,820
Eh, I had
something better to do.
166
00:09:30,957 --> 00:09:33,952
(laughing)
167
00:09:42,460 --> 00:09:45,079
Driving you crazy instead
of pulling off your legs.
168
00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:46,989
I've really matured.
169
00:09:47,846 --> 00:09:49,110
Wait a minute.
170
00:09:49,163 --> 00:09:51,692
If you take the test now,
your score could raise
171
00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:54,558
the average
and save the school.
172
00:09:55,806 --> 00:09:59,167
Proctor Clarkson, one student
still hasn't taken the test.
173
00:09:59,197 --> 00:10:01,949
(gasping) Let it be Martin,
let it be Martin.
174
00:10:01,997 --> 00:10:02,837
It's Bart.
175
00:10:02,862 --> 00:10:04,463
(all groaning)
176
00:10:04,515 --> 00:10:05,728
I have an aunt named Hope.
177
00:10:05,746 --> 00:10:07,859
Perhaps you'd like
to kill her as well.
178
00:10:08,868 --> 00:10:10,337
Bart will take his exam
179
00:10:10,363 --> 00:10:12,108
first thing tomorrow morning.
180
00:10:12,172 --> 00:10:15,240
Bart, I'm begging you
to try and study.
181
00:10:15,275 --> 00:10:18,142
When I think begging, I don't
imagine someone standing up.
182
00:10:18,874 --> 00:10:20,161
Sorry, I can't grant a favor
183
00:10:20,196 --> 00:10:22,265
to someone I don't
respect anymore.
184
00:10:22,359 --> 00:10:24,565
You can spin in my chair!
185
00:10:24,652 --> 00:10:26,637
Whee!
186
00:10:26,703 --> 00:10:28,937
Spinner!
Slow down.
187
00:10:33,991 --> 00:10:35,625
(chuckles)
188
00:10:37,681 --> 00:10:39,936
Well, sure the Lord wouldn't
have placed his meter there
189
00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:41,835
if he didn't want me to park.
190
00:10:45,689 --> 00:10:47,839
This is the easiest money
I've ever made.
191
00:10:47,869 --> 00:10:50,651
Lugging around
a 90-pound parking meter.
192
00:10:54,276 --> 00:10:56,448
It's not that kind.
193
00:11:01,348 --> 00:11:05,110
All right, now to drag
the meter to the next idiot.
194
00:11:05,141 --> 00:11:07,444
Oh, God, my back.
195
00:11:07,727 --> 00:11:09,194
(laughing)
196
00:11:09,227 --> 00:11:10,173
Suckers.
197
00:11:10,197 --> 00:11:13,400
Oh, my disks are grinding.
198
00:11:13,428 --> 00:11:15,665
(laughing)
199
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,473
Easy money.
200
00:11:17,494 --> 00:11:18,423
(grunting)
201
00:11:18,455 --> 00:11:20,039
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
202
00:11:20,073 --> 00:11:25,052
♪ Turn and face
the strange ch-ch-changes ♪
203
00:11:25,406 --> 00:11:27,740
♪ Don't wanna be a richer man
204
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,946
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
205
00:11:29,971 --> 00:11:34,435
♪ Turn and face
the strange ch-ch-changes. ♪
206
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:39,308
(laughing)
207
00:11:39,351 --> 00:11:41,694
Thanks for the
freedom of speech, dorks.
208
00:11:41,761 --> 00:11:43,996
(whistling)
209
00:11:44,129 --> 00:11:45,911
Uh, we're cool, right, boy?
210
00:11:45,932 --> 00:11:48,361
Nothing a few George
Washingtons won't solve.
211
00:11:50,312 --> 00:11:51,613
(grunts)
212
00:11:51,631 --> 00:11:54,960
Now, to sleep
the sleep of the just.
213
00:11:55,024 --> 00:11:56,024
(sighs)
214
00:11:59,796 --> 00:12:01,296
(humming)
215
00:12:08,204 --> 00:12:10,036
Godspeed, old chum.
216
00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:12,778
Pass the test
and your lunch money is yours.
217
00:12:12,863 --> 00:12:15,569
I'm a kid you've never seen,
and I speak for all
218
00:12:15,606 --> 00:12:17,294
the kids you've never seen.
219
00:12:18,465 --> 00:12:20,992
Do it, man, or you'll
never see us again.
220
00:12:23,623 --> 00:12:26,624
Principal Skinner, could you help me
sharpen this pencil?
221
00:12:26,668 --> 00:12:29,415
I guess a little circular
grinding might relax me.
222
00:12:30,566 --> 00:12:32,248
I can't do this.
I'm not ready.
223
00:12:32,299 --> 00:12:33,632
You really didn't study?
224
00:12:33,661 --> 00:12:35,299
Well, I slept on my books,
225
00:12:35,317 --> 00:12:37,330
so I might have gotten
something through osmosis.
226
00:12:37,363 --> 00:12:39,251
So, you know what osmosis is?
227
00:12:39,295 --> 00:12:41,129
Uh, pajamas?
228
00:12:41,169 --> 00:12:43,279
Let me make this crystal
clear to you, Simpson.
229
00:12:43,339 --> 00:12:45,040
If you don't pass this test,
230
00:12:45,074 --> 00:12:47,364
it will destroy the school.
231
00:12:53,232 --> 00:12:54,666
(laughing)
232
00:12:59,704 --> 00:13:03,122
Our entire school riding on
that coffee can head of yours.
233
00:13:03,153 --> 00:13:05,193
We've got to get you
more time to study.
234
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:06,509
But how?
235
00:13:07,232 --> 00:13:08,866
Pull the fire alarm.
236
00:13:08,901 --> 00:13:10,694
I'd do it,
but everyone's looking at me.
237
00:13:14,823 --> 00:13:17,645
What to do, what to do?
238
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:18,911
Don't do it, Seymour.
239
00:13:18,930 --> 00:13:21,394
You've never broken
school rules. Ever.
240
00:13:21,427 --> 00:13:22,561
You wimp.
241
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,401
(alarm ringing)
242
00:13:27,753 --> 00:13:30,138
Children, remain calm,
find your disaster buddy,
243
00:13:30,172 --> 00:13:31,813
which is different
from your lab partner
244
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:34,142
but may be the same
as your lunchroom buddy.
245
00:13:34,172 --> 00:13:36,190
BART:
Well, well, well...
246
00:13:37,262 --> 00:13:40,481
Looks like Mr. Vanilla
just grew some chocolate chips.
247
00:13:40,499 --> 00:13:44,035
Save your analogies for the
analogy portion of the exam.
248
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,692
I bought you time, boy.
Don't blow it.
249
00:13:46,779 --> 00:13:47,554
I won't.
250
00:13:47,603 --> 00:13:50,271
I'm going to ignore everything
else on my schedule.
251
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:54,116
Pass this test
and the eggs are on me.
252
00:13:54,154 --> 00:13:57,114
They will be, Seymour.
They will be.
253
00:14:00,221 --> 00:14:01,284
(laughing)
254
00:14:01,323 --> 00:14:03,291
I'm king of the bus station.
255
00:14:04,923 --> 00:14:07,091
Meter, meter, quarter cheater?
256
00:14:07,125 --> 00:14:09,936
A rogue parking meter has been
terrorizing the streets.
257
00:14:09,993 --> 00:14:13,656
Experts estimate the cost
to taxpayers at north of $50.
258
00:14:13,681 --> 00:14:14,494
That's right, Kent.
259
00:14:14,518 --> 00:14:16,709
The entire force is on
the lookout for anyone
260
00:14:16,746 --> 00:14:18,763
with an excessive
amount of change.
261
00:14:19,705 --> 00:14:21,672
Our top criminologists
have a theory
262
00:14:21,707 --> 00:14:24,177
as to what the suspect
just might look like.
263
00:14:24,202 --> 00:14:25,821
But, of course,
that question mark could be
264
00:14:25,845 --> 00:14:27,886
an exclamation point
or an interrobang.
265
00:14:27,927 --> 00:14:31,054
And the man or woman
could be Hispanic or,
266
00:14:31,085 --> 00:14:35,585
most frightening,
contain no punctuation at all.
267
00:14:45,659 --> 00:14:47,222
So, how's the studying going?
268
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,828
When I start I'll tell you.
269
00:14:50,402 --> 00:14:52,770
This is the most selfish
thing you've ever done.
270
00:14:52,821 --> 00:14:55,242
You're letting your friends
go hang because you
271
00:14:55,273 --> 00:14:58,909
are lazy and selfish and, hey,
are you falling asleep
272
00:14:58,929 --> 00:15:00,262
just to spite me?
273
00:15:08,662 --> 00:15:10,121
Hey, why aren't
you eating that?
274
00:15:10,155 --> 00:15:12,618
There's four of us
and eight slices.
275
00:15:12,669 --> 00:15:14,478
We don't know how to divide it.
276
00:15:14,674 --> 00:15:18,332
Something Stu forgot
the music he loves.
277
00:15:18,406 --> 00:15:22,587
Mrs. Krabappel?
Are you a teacher of the night?
278
00:15:22,686 --> 00:15:24,266
Ha, I wish I was a hooker.
279
00:15:24,297 --> 00:15:26,203
No one in this town
has any money.
280
00:15:26,243 --> 00:15:28,999
But the worst thing is what's
happened to the school.
281
00:15:29,057 --> 00:15:31,375
No, no!
282
00:15:31,702 --> 00:15:34,003
(all grumbling)
283
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:36,814
(groans)
284
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:38,940
What have I done?
285
00:15:40,702 --> 00:15:42,169
Spinach farm, huh?
286
00:15:42,204 --> 00:15:44,338
That's right,
you talk in your sleep.
287
00:15:44,373 --> 00:15:46,819
Lisa, I want to pass that test.
288
00:15:46,843 --> 00:15:48,450
But I need your help.
289
00:15:48,477 --> 00:15:50,157
I have all sorts of problems:
290
00:15:50,188 --> 00:15:52,422
Lack of attention,
I'm afraid of ovals,
291
00:15:52,462 --> 00:15:54,079
I only know 24 letters.
292
00:15:54,113 --> 00:15:56,126
Don't you fall asleep on me.
293
00:15:59,121 --> 00:16:01,534
Excuse me, you're that proctor
294
00:16:01,556 --> 00:16:04,025
that's shutting down
my children's school.
295
00:16:04,059 --> 00:16:05,459
I don't shut anything down.
296
00:16:05,494 --> 00:16:07,228
People cut their own heads,
297
00:16:07,262 --> 00:16:09,096
and I just tip 'em
into the basket.
298
00:16:09,131 --> 00:16:13,226
You've been in public education
a long time, haven't you?
299
00:16:24,377 --> 00:16:25,446
(grunting)
300
00:16:28,148 --> 00:16:30,337
Freeze,
Jack Nickel-scum.
301
00:16:30,384 --> 00:16:31,555
Wha...?
302
00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:34,472
You know what they do
to parking meter thieves in prison?
303
00:16:34,506 --> 00:16:36,315
They probably treat 'em
pretty well.
304
00:16:36,345 --> 00:16:39,643
But when you get out, you're
not eligible for jury duty.
305
00:16:39,744 --> 00:16:41,769
Which, again,
sounds pretty good.
306
00:16:43,148 --> 00:16:45,211
Eat silver, copper.
307
00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:46,404
D'oh!
308
00:16:46,462 --> 00:16:47,712
(tires screeching)
309
00:16:51,494 --> 00:16:52,769
Stay with me, man.
310
00:16:52,897 --> 00:16:54,164
Stay with me.
311
00:16:56,792 --> 00:16:58,711
No, no!
312
00:16:58,764 --> 00:17:02,466
You're the first successful
business I've ever run.
313
00:17:04,173 --> 00:17:05,364
It's hopeless.
314
00:17:05,394 --> 00:17:08,204
I can't make up for ten years
of goofing off in one day.
315
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:09,642
I need two days.
316
00:17:09,667 --> 00:17:12,495
Look, the thing is,
it's more important to know
317
00:17:12,519 --> 00:17:14,820
how to take a test
than knowing what's on it.
318
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,480
So do the ones you know first.
319
00:17:16,515 --> 00:17:18,783
If you don't know one,
guess "B" and move on.
320
00:17:18,929 --> 00:17:22,188
Now, what is the capital
of Massachusetts?
321
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,021
Uh, "B"?
322
00:17:24,056 --> 00:17:25,363
Very good.
323
00:17:30,889 --> 00:17:32,356
(ticking)
324
00:17:32,391 --> 00:17:35,713
BART:
Okay, this is it. Do or die.
325
00:17:35,757 --> 00:17:37,725
D'oh. Will you stop that?
326
00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:43,771
Burly Paper Towels,
Burlyville, Minnesota.
327
00:17:43,794 --> 00:17:45,598
Dear Sir or Madam:
328
00:17:45,623 --> 00:17:49,459
Your paper towel packets
promised 102 sheets of towels.
329
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:52,383
But I was blessed
to receive 103.
330
00:17:52,408 --> 00:17:55,106
I'm returning
the extra towel, unused...
331
00:17:55,137 --> 00:17:57,235
(jingling)
Hmm?
332
00:17:57,842 --> 00:18:00,248
A pillow case full of quarters?
333
00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:01,980
Where did you get that money?
334
00:18:02,011 --> 00:18:03,978
And what have you done
with the pillows?
335
00:18:04,007 --> 00:18:06,408
The pillows are safe
at my workstation.
336
00:18:06,439 --> 00:18:08,139
As for the quarters, well,
337
00:18:08,167 --> 00:18:10,638
I'm ashamed to tell
you what I did.
338
00:18:10,767 --> 00:18:12,870
How long have
you been in there?
339
00:18:16,452 --> 00:18:18,253
Well, we're going
to turn this change
340
00:18:18,288 --> 00:18:19,805
into change for the better.
341
00:18:19,839 --> 00:18:20,822
Whoo-hoo!
342
00:18:20,857 --> 00:18:23,220
And I wish that Mr. Teeny
gets a banana,
343
00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:24,936
that the Isotopes emerge
from this season
344
00:18:24,961 --> 00:18:26,329
with a great blooper reel.
345
00:18:26,351 --> 00:18:28,133
I wish that
wishing wells worked
346
00:18:28,158 --> 00:18:30,619
so I wasn't tossing
my money away
347
00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:33,128
and that Marge loves me forever
348
00:18:33,147 --> 00:18:36,151
no matter what
stupid things I do.
349
00:18:37,494 --> 00:18:38,677
(grunts)
350
00:18:38,696 --> 00:18:39,964
(splash)
351
00:18:40,112 --> 00:18:43,949
And I hope Bart passes his
test and saves the school.
352
00:18:43,999 --> 00:18:46,653
Way to get us back
on topic, Marge.
353
00:18:52,371 --> 00:18:55,039
If you have to
guess, guess "B."
354
00:18:56,476 --> 00:18:59,845
Not every question!
355
00:18:59,929 --> 00:19:03,460
The second that boy fails,
we're knocking down this school.
356
00:19:03,503 --> 00:19:05,349
Please have a little faith.
357
00:19:05,407 --> 00:19:06,708
I hear you, Seymour.
358
00:19:06,886 --> 00:19:08,836
Start the upswing!
359
00:19:12,558 --> 00:19:15,497
The least common blood type is
A) B,
360
00:19:15,536 --> 00:19:18,139
B) A, C) AB,
361
00:19:18,168 --> 00:19:20,753
- D) O... d'oh!
- Ten more seconds.
362
00:19:20,787 --> 00:19:24,573
("Halloween Main Theme"
by John Carpenter playing)
363
00:19:35,679 --> 00:19:38,681
And the last
answer, "C."
364
00:19:40,674 --> 00:19:42,617
Is correct.
365
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:45,644
Congratulations,
you made it by one.
366
00:19:45,742 --> 00:19:47,510
That'll do, bug, that'll do.
367
00:19:47,649 --> 00:19:50,651
("Superman Theme"
by John Williams playing)
368
00:19:53,338 --> 00:19:54,470
He passed.
369
00:19:54,534 --> 00:19:55,834
Stop that ball!
370
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,921
Now your mom can see you
work from her house.
371
00:20:00,026 --> 00:20:02,127
Seymour, stop slouching!
372
00:20:08,871 --> 00:20:13,274
I'm not sure if you gave
my son any extra help,
373
00:20:13,309 --> 00:20:15,783
but if you did, thank you.
374
00:20:15,828 --> 00:20:18,608
Perhaps this was
a test of my humanity.
375
00:20:18,643 --> 00:20:21,343
A test I like
to think I passed.
376
00:20:21,442 --> 00:20:25,611
Would you like to have coffee
or dinner, or just talk?
377
00:20:25,751 --> 00:20:27,734
None of the above.
378
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,061
Testward ho!
379
00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:36,364
(Beethoven's "Symphony No. 6"
playing)
380
00:20:38,834 --> 00:20:40,869
(wind blowing)
381
00:20:40,903 --> 00:20:42,070
(growls)
382
00:20:43,956 --> 00:20:46,042
Is this Wilson Elementary?
383
00:20:46,126 --> 00:20:47,960
- No.
- Sorry.
384
00:20:55,100 --> 00:21:00,100
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
385
00:21:41,572 --> 00:21:43,079
Shh!