1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,403 Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything... 2 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,496 and the one son who had no choice... 3 00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:09,598 but to keep them all together. 4 00:00:15,148 --> 00:00:16,843 It's Arrested Development. 5 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:23,121 [Man Narrating] Michael Bluth hadjust been stunned to discover... 6 00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:27,489 that a contract his company was counting on was being cut back. 7 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:31,394 You initially told us to design and build 22 homes. Now you're saying 18. 8 00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:33,261 That doesn't give us enough capital to complete the job. 9 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,800 And we've already got the blueprints drawn up and everything. 10 00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:38,564 [Narrator] Well, that part wasn't true. But they would've. 11 00:00:38,671 --> 00:00:41,037 - [Dial Tone] - That was a very important phone call. 12 00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:44,907 I don't have much time, Michael. Tobias is about to walk in here any minute asking for a job. 13 00:00:45,011 --> 00:00:46,911 - I need you to hire him. - [Rings, Dial Tone] 14 00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:49,811 - Hi. I'm sor- - Look, it isn't my idea, it's his. 15 00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:52,077 But I need a break from Mrs. Featherbottom. 16 00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:56,281 [Narrator] Since moving out, Tobias had been pretending to be a British housekeeper... 17 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:59,085 - as a way to be close to his family. - [Singing In Falsetto] 18 00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:02,753 However, his desire to now be discovered as himself was becoming bothersome. 19 00:01:02,862 --> 00:01:06,457 Can't you just tell him you know that he's Mrs. Featherbottom? 20 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,500 No. She's the only one who can hand wash my delicates. 21 00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:10,501 Yeah, the real Tobias wouldn't do that. 22 00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:13,367 - Wouldn't do what? - Be Michael's assistant. 23 00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:16,499 Well, that's what I came down here to ask about. 24 00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:18,839 I think you'll find me more than qualified. 25 00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:21,641 It's really not that simple. Uh, you'd have to submit a résumé. 26 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,717 Booyah! 27 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:27,286 - Wow. Gobias Industries. - [Hard "G"] Gobias. 28 00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:29,855 - Right. I remember, yeah. - As in "Go buy us a cup of-" 29 00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:31,890 It looks like you might be a little too qualified. 30 00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:37,520 Hang on. Why don't you let your new assistant take all this down? 31 00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:39,154 [Michael] Wow, you are gung ho. 32 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:42,723 You're getting a new assistant? Is this because the order was cut back? 33 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:45,396 No. But if you are concerned about keeping your job... 34 00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:47,336 focus on keeping unwanted visitors out of my office. 35 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:51,467 I have rabies, Michael. You know that. Today was day four of my shots. 36 00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,637 [Narrator] Starla had been bitten by... 37 00:01:53,746 --> 00:01:55,941 a well-known music producer's guard dog. 38 00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:00,981 Michael, Starla told us about the cutback. 39 00:02:01,087 --> 00:02:03,681 You know, a lot of our overhead is tied up in the fact... 40 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,655 we are on the top floor of a very expensive building. 41 00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:08,750 - If we move just one floor lower- - Ted, everything's fine. 42 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:11,422 I got it all under control, and nobody needs to move. 43 00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:14,159 - I'm sorry. Ted, is it? - Yes. 44 00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:16,030 Ted. Did Ted make an appointment? 45 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,161 - No, I just work down the hall and- - [Tobias] No. 46 00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:21,001 Well, then, Ted can get the hell out of this office! 47 00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:24,907 - I'm talking- - You get the hell out! 48 00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:28,037 - And that's how you keep out unwanted visitors. - [Michael] Thank you. 49 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,311 Although, if I may, let me take off my assistant skirt... 50 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:37,287 and put on my Barbra Streisand in The Prince of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. 51 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,154 - What? - The reason that you can't accept my help... 52 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:43,127 is the same reason you can't hear that gentleman's idea- 53 00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:46,756 because you have to be in total control of everything. 54 00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:49,733 And it's going to make you sick if you can't let go. 55 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,134 - Hey, I'm fine. - Oh? 56 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:55,207 - Oh! Ooh! - [Lindsay] See? He's right. You've got a control problem. 57 00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:58,436 But I know this Eastern medicine store, Ancient Chinese Secret. 58 00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,877 [Both] Ancient Chinese Secret, huh? 59 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:03,972 - I sent Gob there for his migraines. - It's just a cramp. I'm fine. 60 00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:07,746 [Narrator] In fact, Gob was at Ancient Chinese Secret at that moment... 61 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:12,518 - but not for a migraine. - Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. 62 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,753 Me quick, want slow. Wait, that's Indian. 63 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:20,060 - Tea for dong. - [Woman Speaking Native Language] 64 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:24,227 - Sweet blade. - It's the Sword of Destiny. It's full of ancient magic. 65 00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:26,635 Oh, yeah? You into magic? 66 00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:30,809 Still, where'd the lighter fluid come from? 67 00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:33,811 - So, is it for sale? I could use it in my act. - Maybe. 68 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,814 Sword of Destiny hundreds of years old. 69 00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:39,578 Come with ancient story of warning and- 70 00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:42,814 Yeah, I make up my own patter. Just ring it up with the dong tea. 71 00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:44,822 [Narrator] And Gob caught up with Michael. 72 00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:50,260 - Michael. Been lookin' for you. - Looks like you're looking for dragons, in the future. 73 00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:52,923 I wouldn't mock the Sword of Destiny, Michael. 74 00:03:53,032 --> 00:03:55,330 Careful with that, Gob. 75 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,300 - Bleeding? - Nope. 76 00:03:57,403 --> 00:04:00,668 Yeah, that's blood. It'll get better before the show. 77 00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:02,468 That's what I need you for, Michael. 78 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,509 I can't perform my illusion at the Gothic Castle... 79 00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,704 because I've been banned from the Magicians' Alliance. 80 00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:11,113 I need you to register as the magician, and I'm the lowly assistant. 81 00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:14,983 Then we get on the stage, and you ram the Sword of Destiny into my belly. 82 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,886 - What do you think? - Really picked up steam there at the end, but I can't. 83 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:21,256 I've gotta teach George Michael how to drive. And then I gotta get right back here, because- 84 00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:23,056 Michael, if I make this comeback... 85 00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:25,289 I'll buy you 100 George Michaels you can teach to drive! 86 00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:28,299 - You're losing blood, aren't you? - Probably. My socks are wet. 87 00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:30,301 Sorry. 88 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:33,930 You'll be sorry! Wait, that doesn't work after his line. 89 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,975 [Narrator] And Michael rushed home to teach his son to drive. 90 00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:39,670 Knock, knock. Hey, Maeby. George Michael, ready to drive? 91 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,304 - I don't have much time. - Get me behind that wheel. 92 00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:44,315 Oh, no, you will not be behind the wheel. 93 00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:46,908 You'll observe me while I demonstrate some things, okay? 94 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:50,217 I'll be quizzing you too, hotshot. I'm gonna go grab the video camera. 95 00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:52,848 - And then, school's in. - I'd skip. 96 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,824 Well, no, I need to learn. 97 00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:56,827 You can't get around anywhere without a driver's license. 98 00:04:56,929 --> 00:05:01,161 [Narrator] Actually, Maeby had received a company car from the movie studio... 99 00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:04,498 where she was secretly posing as an executive. 100 00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:17,011 But currently, George Sr. Was in the attic making a videotape- 101 00:05:17,116 --> 00:05:20,051 - This is my demand. - when Michael found him. 102 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,383 What's the deal with the turban? 103 00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:25,321 Huh? [Chuckles] Pretty smart, huh? 104 00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:28,087 - And-And it's warm too. - Guess that makes sense. 105 00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:31,686 Oh, hey, I heard about that reduced order. Those bastards. 106 00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:34,790 This videotape is for our employees. 107 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:40,066 You take this and play it. This will reassure them that someone is in charge. 108 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,540 Well, someone is in charge, Dad. I'm in charge. I've never even taken a sick day. 109 00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:45,543 No, a real authority. 110 00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:48,136 My presence needs to be, uh, reinstated. 111 00:05:48,247 --> 00:05:51,410 [Narrator] His first effort at doing so had already failed. 112 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:54,042 When do you start being my mole at my company? 113 00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:56,383 Actually, Michael turned me down for the job. 114 00:05:56,489 --> 00:06:00,050 - What? - Something to do with their housing order being cut back. 115 00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:04,459 Oh, my God, that's a horrible sign- Ow! Damn it! 116 00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:07,556 I'm the authority, so I will save the company. 117 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:10,500 And I say no videotape. Ooh! 118 00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:14,903 - You oughta take a sick day. Get out of that office. - Don't count on it, Dad. 119 00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:18,101 [Narrator] And Michael was finally ready to make his son watch him drive. 120 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:22,147 All right, stair car basics. In order to get this thing up to a minimum speed... 121 00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:25,615 you gotta jam on the gas pedal for about a minute, okay? 122 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:27,618 But in order to slow this thing down... 123 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,620 you gotta get immediately back on the brake pedal... 124 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,553 'cause you got about two tons of stairs behind you. 125 00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:34,182 We're gonna cover the hydraulic flaps and the riser system... 126 00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:36,488 after I tell you the basics about how to avoid a hop-on. 127 00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:40,032 But the first thing we're gonna go over- Ow! 128 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:44,194 [Narrator] And that's when Michael decided that perhaps it was time for a sick day. 129 00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:47,636 Let's go over the route to the hospital. Ow! 130 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:51,608 My baby is sick, but Mother is here to nurse you. 131 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:55,238 - Well, now I'm a little sicker. - Well, don't you worry about work today. 132 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:58,681 I am ready and willing to step up and take over. 133 00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:01,310 Yeah, and I'll get George Michael ready for his driving test. 134 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:05,289 I'm gonna teach him when I get out. And no one's taking over for me at the Bluth Company. 135 00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:09,953 Michael, this is what we talked about. I'm sure they'll do just fine without you. 136 00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:12,326 Well, you're wrong, because we're in crisis there. 137 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,265 They need to know that I'm in charge and I'm in con- 138 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,962 I'm peeing. Am I peeing? 139 00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:20,595 I'm sorry. We gave you a little something to relax you. 140 00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:22,674 It may have taken the tingle out of your genitals. 141 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,471 Oh, no. You're not taking care of my son. 142 00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:28,638 I'm sorry to say this, but it's too late for me to do anything for your son. 143 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,816 Let him keep talking. 144 00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:35,410 Because Dr. Stein here has already been assigned to his case. 145 00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:39,184 - You're lucky. He's the best. - Well, only in the county. 146 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:42,193 But I'm certainly good enough to take out that appendix of yours. 147 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,492 - Appendix? - I don't buy it. Could be a hernia. 148 00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,657 [Tobias] Or it could be your colon. 149 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:50,167 I'd want to get in there and find some answers. 150 00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:52,567 Well, I am the best doctor in the state. 151 00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:54,572 But if you don't trust my decisions- 152 00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:57,699 No, no, no. No. You're the doctor. You see, he's the authority here. 153 00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:02,440 We need to respect him just like the employees at the Bluth Company need to respect me. 154 00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:06,040 Okay, I'm going to put you on this machine to slow down your heart rate. 155 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:11,283 Hopefully not too slow, because it's already dangerously slow as it is. 156 00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:14,416 - [Dr. Stein Chuckles] - Whatever you think, Doctor. 157 00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:18,520 [Narrator] Meanwhile, Gob was still trying to arrange his comeback in magic. 158 00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:20,690 So I'd be a magician and you'd be my assistant? 159 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,700 Well, on paper, yes. 160 00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:26,465 But once the show starts, and you ram that sword through my belly... 161 00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:29,905 people will know that I'm the one who belongs back in the Alliance. 162 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,842 The kind of trick that I can put on a DVD, like Tony Wonder does. 163 00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:37,905 [Narrator] Tony Wonder had startled the world by baking himself into a loaf ofbread. 164 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,247 He sold the DVD's of it on his Web site... 165 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:44,221 - which many claimed suffered due to its pop-up ads. - [Buster] Thanks. 166 00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:47,622 I'm finally being treated like a real person, not some deformed- 167 00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:50,890 [Screams] Hook! Forgot about that thing, Elephant Man. 168 00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:53,488 Gonna have to figure out something to do so that people can look at you... 169 00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:55,567 without wanting to kill themselves. 170 00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:58,933 [Narrator] That night, George Sr. Heard about Michael's illness. 171 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:01,802 The employees are gonna panic. They need to know that someone's in control. 172 00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:05,105 - And how do we do that? - Booyah! 173 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:08,044 [Narrator] And at the Gothic Castle... 174 00:09:08,147 --> 00:09:11,742 - Buster had been outfitted with a mechanical Halloween hand. - Whoa! 175 00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:14,752 Looks like you've got some dirty ears. 176 00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:17,118 Well, you're not on the banned list, so you can go on at 6:00. 177 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,987 6:00? Looks like you'll be my opener. 178 00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:23,994 - Tony Wonder! - [Screaming] 179 00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:31,569 [Screams] 180 00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,866 [Panting] You like bread? 181 00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,498 - Yeah. - Have some. 182 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:39,510 - Wow, it's warm. - How did you do that? 183 00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:42,137 Oh, ho, ho. Magicians only. 184 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,684 [Whispering] I folded it up into some squares, and I put it in a pouch under my shirt... 185 00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:48,686 and then I pull it out, and I make it look like it came out of my skin. 186 00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:51,222 - Wow, that sounds easy. - Keep it to yourself. 187 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:54,816 And good luck up there tonight. And you! You'll get there someday. 188 00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:57,452 I started out as a little "W." Somehow I became a big one. 189 00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:59,463 I don't even know how it happened. All right? 190 00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:03,968 [Screaming] 191 00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:06,038 My eye! 192 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:08,038 [Screams] 193 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:10,233 [Panting] 194 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,675 Enjoy the Hanukkah cookie, man. 195 00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,316 What a cool guy. 196 00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:25,754 - Tobias had been sent to the office by George Sr. - My name is Dr. Tobias Fünke... 197 00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:29,817 and I'll be filling in for Michael, who is not sick. [Chuckles] 198 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:33,524 In fact, just today I saw a sliver of his buttocks... 199 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,864 and they're as fresh and firm as a Georgia peach, so not to worry. 200 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:41,338 But before you all rise up and say, "Well, let's make this man our leader," 201 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:45,501 well, I think that won't be necessary after you see this. 202 00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:47,511 Is this right? 203 00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:50,912 [Narrator] Meanwhile, Lindsay had also violated Michael's authority... 204 00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:52,917 and was teaching George Michael to drive. 205 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:54,953 Sure you don't want me to watch you for a while? 206 00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:59,684 Driving is about confidence, George Michael. Jam on it! It feels great, right? 207 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:03,250 - Now, put your foot on the brake. There's a light in a half mile. - [Brakes Grinding] 208 00:11:03,362 --> 00:11:06,058 [Narrator] Meanwhile, Buster and Gob had begun... 209 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:09,657 the Sword of Destiny illusion at the Gothic Castle. 210 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:18,042 - [Hand Whirring] - Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah! Ooh! Whoo! 211 00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:20,044 Stop it, Buster. 212 00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:21,943 - And now our magic trick. - [Gob] Illusion. 213 00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:24,039 Silence, slave! 214 00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:28,143 In this magic trick, I'm going to put a sword... 215 00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:31,451 - through my assistant's tummy. - No patter. 216 00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:34,924 May I have the trick sword, please? 217 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:38,053 It's a real sword, master. 218 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:41,565 - Oh-ho! - [Light Applause] 219 00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:44,431 [Applause Increases] 220 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:48,234 - Ooh! Hoo, hoo, hoo! - We've got 'em. I'm gonna milk this for a minute. 221 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:50,900 - Okay. - [Panting] 222 00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:55,606 - [Applause] - [Whooping] 223 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,240 [Screaming] My hand! My hand! 224 00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,915 [Motor Whirring] 225 00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:12,419 [Narrator] And the audience wasn't the only one impressed by the performance. 226 00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:16,399 Bravo. Hey, give us a sec, would you, Candida? 227 00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:22,034 My brother's widow. It's- [Bleeps] up. 228 00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:25,440 Hey, so the accident angle. Right on. 229 00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:27,774 - Oh, thank you, very much. - No, thank you. 230 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,780 The "How'd he do dats?" ate it up. 231 00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:31,611 Sorry. That's what we call the audience. 232 00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:34,880 No, l-I know- I know about all that. Used to have a solo act. 233 00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:36,784 There was talk of boiling me into a bisque at one point. 234 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:40,347 Not registering. But you hitched your wagon to the right star. 235 00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:44,190 - I want you guys on my next DVD. - You want us for Use Your Illusion? 236 00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:46,196 Actually, some band has got the rights to that title. 237 00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,198 So, I'm thinkin', like, Use Your Illusion II. 238 00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:51,633 But, yeah, meet me out there tomorrow. And, uh, if you get thirsty- 239 00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:56,834 [Screaming] 240 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:06,312 Have a free round of drinks, courtesy ofTony Wonder. 241 00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:10,149 - It's a Subway Sub Club card. - That's a magician. 242 00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,224 Oh, it still needs three stamps. 243 00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:15,225 [Narrator] Michael hadjust come around from his appendectomy. 244 00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:17,659 Give me the phone. I want to call George Michael, tell him I'm okay. 245 00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:20,095 He's on his way here. We passed him on the road. 246 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:23,396 He was doing really well. Had his first hop-on. 247 00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:26,164 What are you talking about? He's driving? I told Lindsay not to teach him. 248 00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:29,332 - I was going to videotape that hop-on. - Hey, Dad. How're you feeling? 249 00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:32,672 Bad, George Michael. I just found out Lindsay's teaching you how to drive. 250 00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:36,680 Yeah. She's still trying to get the stairs unwedged from the emergency room overhang. 251 00:13:36,782 --> 00:13:40,240 I was gonna teach you. Just forget everything she told you, and we'll start over. 252 00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:42,252 Oh, for God's sake. Tobias is right. 253 00:13:42,354 --> 00:13:44,254 - What? - You have to control everyone's life. 254 00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:47,689 I don't know where you get that from. Oscar, stop licking that sore. 255 00:13:47,793 --> 00:13:51,456 - I'm not. - Well, the operation went pretty smoothly. 256 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:55,967 But once I got in there, the appendix wasn't so inflamed. D'oh. 257 00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:58,901 - I knew it. - Okay. Well, can we get me out of here? 258 00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:02,201 I gotta retrain my son how to drive, and I need to stop by the office... 259 00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:05,471 - to make sure my business doesn't go to hell. - And, not so fast, Michael. 260 00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:08,274 There seems to be a bacterial infection from the operation... 261 00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:12,874 - which left an abscess in your abdominal wall. - Ew. 262 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:15,146 I know, it's pretty gross. It could heal on its own. 263 00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:20,624 But I say we go in there Dr. Stein-style and cut it out. 264 00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:24,753 I want to show these interns what the best doctor in Southern California can do. 265 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,664 - Well, I respect your decision. - I'll check on you soon. 266 00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:33,329 Michael, this crazy point you're trying to make about respecting authority is absurd. 267 00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:37,967 And one day, you're gonna wake up and find out it has caused you nothing but trouble. 268 00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:42,309 - And you are peeing again. - [Narrator] And as the anesthesia took hold... 269 00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:45,474 Michael realized he was going to wake up to nothing but trouble. 270 00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:50,214 The F.B.I. Has pinpointed the location of escaped convict George Bluth today... 271 00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:54,759 thanks to a tape turned in by a rabid and disgruntled employee. 272 00:14:54,860 --> 00:15:00,594 The F.B.I. Has matched the design of the attic to one of Saddam Hussein's Iraqi houses. 273 00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:04,465 - And it appears his son is with him. - This is my demand. 274 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,664 Booyah! 275 00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:15,105 [Narrator] Buster and Gob were waiting to meet with Tony Wonder. 276 00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:19,378 All right. He's gonna lowball us, so just let me do the talking, all right, Busty? 277 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:22,613 This DVD is the destiny the sword has chosen for me. 278 00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:25,519 I wonder where he is. 279 00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:28,821 Did somebody say, "Wonder"? 280 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:33,456 He just appeared out of nowhere, in front of that dumbwaiter. 281 00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:37,296 [Narrator] Actually, he'd been hiding inside the dumbwaiter for over 20 minutes... 282 00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:41,533 - waiting for someone to use the word "wonder." - [Buster] I wonder where he is. 283 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,972 Oh, hey, you've got a piece of lettuce on your shoulder. 284 00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:46,101 Ta-da! 285 00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:50,511 Part of the trick. So, let's get down to business, shall we? 286 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:53,176 Hey, can you, uh, go wait with the other assistants over there? 287 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:56,584 - What? - No, whatever you say to me, you can say to him. 288 00:15:56,689 --> 00:16:00,090 I grant him magic sanctuary. 289 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:03,650 - Uh, you grant me? Come on, you can't just make up- - [Tony] That's fine. 290 00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:07,323 I second the sanctuary. But with a clause of silence. 291 00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:11,096 So, I want you guys to be on Use Your Illusion. Only now it's "Allusion" with an "A." 292 00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:13,933 So if you guys want to put an allusion in there somewhere... 293 00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:17,372 like, you know, Poe or something or- Don't do Poe, 'cause I'm doin' Poe. 294 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,706 - What about Chaucer? - Just not Poe, okay? 295 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:24,215 And, uh, I don't think we need, uh, your assistant. 296 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:27,513 - What? - Eh! Clause of silence. 297 00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:32,955 Look, my assistant is my partner. I need him. 298 00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:36,255 For what, Buster, huh? You're the magic. 299 00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:39,820 Check out those moves you're doin', man. They're in their own orbit. 300 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,900 Look at Tiagra, my girl. Don't look at her. 301 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:45,402 'Cause you look at her and it affects her in a way that I don't feel comfortable with. 302 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:48,371 Or go for it. I don't care, whatever. I'm just sayin' it's your world. 303 00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:50,806 All right, you know what? The trick is on you, Tony Wonder. 304 00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:55,312 I'm the magician. He's the assistant. We don't need him! 305 00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:59,874 The real Sword of Destiny trick hasn't even been performed yet. Ta-da! 306 00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:02,715 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. 307 00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:06,222 Are you tellin' me that you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? 308 00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:09,783 That's right. And I'm gonna perform the real trick this afternoon. 309 00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:14,591 - I guess we'll see what you can do then. - I guess we will. 310 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:19,999 [Screaming] 311 00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:25,509 Ow! Darryl, I told you to move that- [Bleeps] chair 10 times! 312 00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:28,079 And clean the- [Bleeps] Dumbwaiter while you're at it! 313 00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:31,149 Oh, I was really hoping for a graham cracker. 314 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,445 That would have been a good spot for a trick. 315 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,816 - Michael awoke from his second surgery. - Morning, sleepyhead. 316 00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:39,288 - Did you get the abscess? - Well, uh, we had a little whoopsie. 317 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:43,521 See, we got the abscess, but I think we might have left some snippers in there. 318 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:48,760 It's not very likely, but one of the assistants having taken them is even less likely. 319 00:17:48,867 --> 00:17:53,736 - Unless I left them in my scrubs. - Michael, good news. 320 00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:56,774 They think George is in Iraq. All the pressure's off him. 321 00:17:56,875 --> 00:18:00,367 That was on the news? I thought that I dreamt that. 322 00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:03,505 - Oh, they're gonna think that I'm there. Ow! - But not to worry. 323 00:18:03,615 --> 00:18:05,947 Tobias said he's handling it with the F.B. I... 324 00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:08,542 and the employees have everything under control. 325 00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,554 No, that's the worst thing possible. 326 00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:12,715 They think the company's in trouble and that I'm in Iraq. 327 00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,725 I gotta get down there. I need your car keys. 328 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:17,853 [Narrator] And so Michael and George Michael headed to the office. 329 00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:20,625 - Right here, gentlemen. - [Narrator] Which is how Tobias missed him. 330 00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:24,964 Michael Bluth is not... in Iraq. 331 00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:29,564 Michael, back to bed with you. You look awful. 332 00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:35,545 [Narrator] Michael rushed to the office only to find that his worst fears had come true. 333 00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:39,741 We're too late. It's gone. Everybody said that I was too controlling... 334 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:43,253 but I walk away for one minute, look what happens to the company. 335 00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:45,289 I mean, this is why I didn't want- Damn it! 336 00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:47,290 Dad, you should probably take it easy. 337 00:18:47,392 --> 00:18:50,589 I said that this would happen. I said respect my authority, but no one would listen. 338 00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,630 Everybody had their own better id- Ow! 339 00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:56,724 [Narrator] And maybe it was the stress or even the misplaced snippers... 340 00:18:56,835 --> 00:18:58,860 but Michael had never felt worse. 341 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:03,499 However, thanks to taking on his authority, the employees had never felt better. 342 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,975 - Ted? - Oh, hey, Michael. Good news. 343 00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:08,410 We leased the top floor to another company and moved down here. 344 00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:11,711 But we can stay in business without having to build the extra houses. 345 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,012 We did it. We did it! 346 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,383 [Cheering, Applause] 347 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:20,015 - You're goin' down, right? - Whoo! 348 00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:23,891 - [Stagy Pop] - And back at the Gothic Castle, Gob was performing his illusion. 349 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:28,695 Hey, after I cut the candle in half, switch out the real sword for the fake one. 350 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,394 What are you doin'? I'm Gob Bluth. 351 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:35,837 I'm the real magician. This man is only the assistant. 352 00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:39,274 - [Audience Gasps] - Buster, the sword. 353 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:43,046 Handle first. Handle first. [Screams] 354 00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:45,776 - [Gasping] - Oh, my fingers! 355 00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:48,318 He cut off my- [Bleeps] fingers! 356 00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:50,945 - [Whimpers] Oh! - No! 357 00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:53,047 - [Applause] - [Gob Moaning] 358 00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:55,752 - Guy is good. Damn good. - [Man] Bravo! 359 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,557 [Gob] I'm not kidding! He cut off my- [Bleeps] fingers! 360 00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:03,067 - I didn't know we had taquitos. - [Man] More! More! 361 00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:05,068 [Narrator] And Michael came to a decision. 362 00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:07,161 You know what, George Michael? 363 00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:12,608 I think I'm going to give up some of my authority, starting now. 364 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:15,373 You drive home. All right? 365 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,449 [Narrator] Unfortunately, Michael's decision to let his son... 366 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:22,782 drive a car with a more responsive gas pedal... 367 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:26,119 - [Groans] - was not a good decision. 368 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,988 Your leg's gonna be fine, Michael. 369 00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:30,857 And I wouldn't worry about getting hit by any more cars. 370 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:34,626 I've shortened your calf muscles to theoretically increase your jumping ability. 371 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:38,294 But if it works, I could be the best in the world. 372 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,871 I want the other doctor back. 373 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,771 [Narrator] On the next Arrested Development. 374 00:20:43,875 --> 00:20:48,107 - Michael gets a new roommate. - Your fingers have been perfectly reattached. 375 00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:50,443 Go ahead, take a look. 376 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,044 My middle finger and index finger are- 377 00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:57,053 Switched for the first time ever. 378 00:20:57,155 --> 00:20:59,623 - Nice job, Frank. - Amazing. 379 00:20:59,725 --> 00:21:03,661 [Narrator] And the F.B.I. Finds footage more troublesome than they'd originally thought. 380 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:06,788 [Man] It appears there was something else on the videotape. 381 00:21:06,898 --> 00:21:09,799 We think it's a terrorist training film. 382 00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:14,338 You're not half the man he was! [Muffled Shouting] 383 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:17,033 This kid's got moves.