1 00:00:02,537 --> 00:00:04,338 Eek. 2 00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:05,456 Ugh. 3 00:00:05,490 --> 00:00:07,007 Okay, you can go ahead and rinse. 4 00:00:07,058 --> 00:00:08,442 I've seen all I need to see here. 5 00:00:08,493 --> 00:00:09,410 The wisdom teeth. 6 00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:11,095 Those puppies need to come out. 7 00:00:11,129 --> 00:00:12,413 But they don't hurt. 8 00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:14,115 It's preventative. 9 00:00:14,149 --> 00:00:15,783 So then wouldn't that be like amputating your arm 10 00:00:15,817 --> 00:00:18,302 so that you don't break it one day? 11 00:00:18,336 --> 00:00:19,453 Who sent you here? 12 00:00:19,488 --> 00:00:21,322 Give me one good reason to pull four teeth! 13 00:00:21,516 --> 00:00:24,034 Tessa, your dad asked me to assess 14 00:00:24,052 --> 00:00:27,288 whether or not your wisdom teeth needed to come out. 15 00:00:27,322 --> 00:00:30,074 I'm assessing that they do. Now rinse. 16 00:00:30,108 --> 00:00:32,293 Well, I don't really need to rinse after an assessment. 17 00:00:32,327 --> 00:00:34,344 You will rinse, and when I say rinse, you rinse! 18 00:00:34,642 --> 00:00:35,759 Okay, let's see. 19 00:00:35,777 --> 00:00:38,078 We can get you in tomorrow morning, 20 00:00:38,112 --> 00:00:39,830 on junior secretary's day. 21 00:00:39,864 --> 00:00:43,834 Oh, darn. I had really big plans for junior secretary's day. 22 00:00:43,868 --> 00:00:45,719 Just because we do sub-secretarial work 23 00:00:45,753 --> 00:00:47,738 doesn't mean we're subhuman. 24 00:00:48,152 --> 00:00:49,686 You'll have your day tomorrow, Greta. 25 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:50,920 Stand down. 26 00:00:50,954 --> 00:00:52,806 Here's your reminder card, hon. 27 00:00:52,857 --> 00:00:54,023 We will see you tomorrow. 28 00:00:54,041 --> 00:00:55,492 You may see me tomorrow, 29 00:00:55,526 --> 00:00:57,110 if I decide to have the surgery, 30 00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,094 which I haven't yet. 31 00:00:58,128 --> 00:00:59,228 Okay. 32 00:00:59,246 --> 00:01:01,381 Bye, Greta. 33 00:01:02,612 --> 00:01:06,131 And now, salesman of the year for a record five years running, 34 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:09,067 the one, the only, the killer in khakis... 35 00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:12,053 Fred Shay! Whoo! 36 00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:14,206 Whoo! Mm! Mm! Mm! 37 00:01:14,257 --> 00:01:16,358 Well, gang, I am off to beautiful, 38 00:01:16,392 --> 00:01:18,410 sunny Cranston, Rhode Island. 39 00:01:18,444 --> 00:01:19,724 I don't know why they even bother 40 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,263 with this contest anymore. 41 00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:23,331 They just end up sending you every darn year. 42 00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:25,734 Well, I'll be back Thursday. Group hug! 43 00:01:25,768 --> 00:01:27,302 Aw. Mm. 44 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:28,987 Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. Mm! 45 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:32,007 Lisa, you may want to consider using a stronger deodorant. 46 00:01:34,139 --> 00:01:35,473 When something is painfully boring, 47 00:01:35,507 --> 00:01:37,175 people say it's "like pulling teeth." 48 00:01:37,226 --> 00:01:40,712 To determine the subject of tomorrow's in-class essay, 49 00:01:40,746 --> 00:01:43,581 each pupil will have a chance to take a spin 50 00:01:43,616 --> 00:01:45,750 on the thrilling... say it with me... 51 00:01:45,784 --> 00:01:46,951 wheel... 52 00:01:46,986 --> 00:01:47,919 of... 53 00:01:47,970 --> 00:01:49,170 topics! 54 00:01:49,704 --> 00:01:51,655 Oral surgery might be a nice alternative 55 00:01:51,706 --> 00:01:53,391 to whatever in-class essay 56 00:01:53,425 --> 00:01:54,925 the wheel of topics would bring. 57 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,478 Tessa Altman, come on down! 58 00:02:02,967 --> 00:02:04,484 Not medieval armor and weapons. 59 00:02:04,518 --> 00:02:06,119 Please, not medieval armor and weapons. 60 00:02:09,890 --> 00:02:11,191 - Yes. - Oh! 61 00:02:11,225 --> 00:02:12,158 Look at that! 62 00:02:12,193 --> 00:02:13,910 Eleanor of Aquitaine! 63 00:02:13,944 --> 00:02:17,097 "You're welcome," quoth the wheel. 64 00:02:17,131 --> 00:02:19,165 Well, here's the thing, Mr. Simpkin, 65 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,150 I'm gonna be out of school tomorrow 66 00:02:20,184 --> 00:02:21,651 due to some emergency oral surgery 67 00:02:21,686 --> 00:02:23,870 I... just decided I'm having, 68 00:02:23,904 --> 00:02:27,324 so Eleanor of Aquitaine... 69 00:02:27,375 --> 00:02:28,742 uh, she just might have to wait. 70 00:02:28,776 --> 00:02:30,310 Hmm. 71 00:02:31,144 --> 00:02:33,395 It's us. I see that. 72 00:02:33,430 --> 00:02:34,463 We were sitting on the couch. 73 00:02:34,498 --> 00:02:35,447 I remember. 74 00:02:35,482 --> 00:02:37,600 Exactly as we are right now. 75 00:02:37,634 --> 00:02:40,986 Well, our love of sitting on couches has been immortalized. 76 00:02:41,020 --> 00:02:42,755 I love it. 77 00:02:42,789 --> 00:02:44,106 I hope I'm not rushing things, 78 00:02:44,141 --> 00:02:46,809 but I was just hoping we were at the point of joint decor. 79 00:02:46,843 --> 00:02:48,394 Is that French for "no return"? 80 00:02:48,428 --> 00:02:49,812 No, silly. 81 00:02:50,026 --> 00:02:52,267 It just means the point where we can start leaving things 82 00:02:52,278 --> 00:02:54,413 - at each other's places. - Ah. 83 00:02:54,447 --> 00:02:57,032 Unless you don't feel like we're ready for joint decor. 84 00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:58,584 No, we absolutely are. 85 00:02:58,618 --> 00:03:00,686 In fact, I have a funky old washcloth 86 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,204 I was hoping to leave in your guest bath. 87 00:03:02,238 --> 00:03:03,772 See, you're teasing, 88 00:03:03,807 --> 00:03:06,258 but I'm trying to take all this here to the next level. 89 00:03:06,292 --> 00:03:08,577 Oh. Well, thank you, sweetheart. 90 00:03:08,928 --> 00:03:11,613 I will put it in a place of honor. 91 00:03:11,648 --> 00:03:13,565 Do you have to be somewhere? 92 00:03:13,599 --> 00:03:16,051 Oh, no, sorry. I... I'm just... 93 00:03:16,085 --> 00:03:17,919 I'm bracing myself for an argument with Tessa. 94 00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:19,521 She's supposed to get her wisdom teeth out tomorrow. 95 00:03:19,572 --> 00:03:23,558 But Noah says she's refusing. She says it's unnecessary. 96 00:03:23,593 --> 00:03:26,678 Initially, Dalia said the same thing about collagen treatments, 97 00:03:26,712 --> 00:03:28,313 but I got her to come around. 98 00:03:28,348 --> 00:03:29,781 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Tessa. 99 00:03:29,816 --> 00:03:31,233 Good luck getting your wisdom teeth out 100 00:03:31,284 --> 00:03:33,902 - tomorrow, girl. I'll bring you a milkshake. - Sounds good. 101 00:03:33,936 --> 00:03:36,638 Told you she'd come around. 102 00:03:36,673 --> 00:03:39,490 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 103 00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:51,538 I mean, the procedure's costly, 104 00:03:51,573 --> 00:03:52,839 but you know where the real money is? 105 00:03:52,874 --> 00:03:54,675 Big pharma. Mm-hmm. 106 00:03:54,709 --> 00:03:56,589 The guys pushing those habit-forming pain meds... 107 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:59,329 they get the biggest payday. 108 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,331 Okay, so what made you change your mind? 109 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,332 Eleanor of Aquitaine. 110 00:04:05,503 --> 00:04:07,371 Did you hear that? 111 00:04:08,973 --> 00:04:10,874 Sounds like it's coming from the basement. 112 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,797 Oh, man. 113 00:04:33,831 --> 00:04:35,482 That's just great. 114 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,435 Well, look who it is. 115 00:04:38,453 --> 00:04:41,571 Old George Altman doing the walk of shame to his cans. 116 00:04:41,605 --> 00:04:42,572 Hey, Sheila. 117 00:04:42,606 --> 00:04:44,124 Is that rodent excrement? 118 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:45,993 Have you brought vermin into Chatswin? 119 00:04:46,027 --> 00:04:47,327 It's... it's okay. Don't worry. 120 00:04:47,378 --> 00:04:49,463 I've already set some humane traps. 121 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,131 Humane traps? 122 00:04:51,065 --> 00:04:53,700 Rats laugh at humane traps, George. 123 00:04:53,735 --> 00:04:56,186 And the only way to silence their laughter... 124 00:04:56,204 --> 00:04:57,321 poison gas. 125 00:04:57,355 --> 00:04:59,456 - Poison gas? - Okay. 126 00:04:59,490 --> 00:05:00,857 I... I won't be using poison gas. 127 00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:03,126 Don't go all wobbly on me now, George. 128 00:05:03,161 --> 00:05:05,612 I recently purchased a case of rat bombs 129 00:05:05,647 --> 00:05:07,530 from Australia on eBay. 130 00:05:07,549 --> 00:05:09,532 Technically, they're "illegal" here, 131 00:05:09,551 --> 00:05:11,468 but they can take out a full-grown wallaby 132 00:05:11,502 --> 00:05:12,886 in under 30 seconds. 133 00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:14,371 Let me go grab you one. 134 00:05:14,389 --> 00:05:16,306 Thank you, Sheila, but no, thank you. 135 00:05:16,341 --> 00:05:18,008 Really. I got this. 136 00:05:18,042 --> 00:05:18,992 I hope so, George, 137 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,894 because I will be following up! 138 00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:23,247 This is how the black plague started! 139 00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,148 More or less! 140 00:05:25,023 --> 00:05:26,423 The next morning, 141 00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:28,726 George had a more pressing crisis to deal with... 142 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:30,861 one that involved general anesthesia. 143 00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,780 How's my girl? 144 00:05:32,831 --> 00:05:36,366 She's great, huh? 145 00:05:36,401 --> 00:05:38,068 Dad. 146 00:05:38,086 --> 00:05:40,654 Oh. You came for me. 147 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:41,739 I love you. 148 00:05:48,646 --> 00:05:50,313 Did anybody follow you here? 149 00:05:50,347 --> 00:05:52,315 What? What is she talking about? 150 00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,834 Dad, I'm talking about 151 00:05:54,869 --> 00:05:56,836 the wisdom teeth conspiracy thing. 152 00:05:56,871 --> 00:05:59,739 And I'm not even talking about our government. 153 00:05:59,774 --> 00:06:02,275 I'm talking about... 154 00:06:02,326 --> 00:06:03,259 theirs. 155 00:06:03,294 --> 00:06:04,761 Okay. Tessa, sweetheart, 156 00:06:04,795 --> 00:06:06,045 you're drooling blood. 157 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,197 Is this reaction to the medication normal? 158 00:06:08,215 --> 00:06:09,899 You know, not really. 159 00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:12,769 Uh, I... you know, I'm 80% certain 160 00:06:12,803 --> 00:06:14,537 - that she's gonna be okay. - Really? 80%? 161 00:06:14,572 --> 00:06:16,055 That's very reassuring. Thank you. 162 00:06:16,090 --> 00:06:18,174 How I come by later, check on her. Sound good? 163 00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:20,276 Hey! Oh, Greta! 164 00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:21,795 How you loving those balloons, huh? 165 00:06:21,846 --> 00:06:24,497 Today's your special day. 166 00:06:24,712 --> 00:06:26,412 I cannot stand Greta. 167 00:06:26,447 --> 00:06:28,181 I'm letting her go at the end of the week. 168 00:06:28,215 --> 00:06:30,599 Mm? Come on. 169 00:06:33,118 --> 00:06:35,603 Ask yourself, George... 170 00:06:35,638 --> 00:06:37,555 What is the one thing that we have 171 00:06:37,590 --> 00:06:38,940 that they don't have? 172 00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,261 Teeth. Teeth! 173 00:06:43,295 --> 00:06:45,747 Have you ever seen an alien with teeth? 174 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,600 Well, the alien in the movie "Alien" had huge teeth. 175 00:06:48,651 --> 00:06:51,736 No, I'm talking about real aliens. 176 00:06:51,770 --> 00:06:55,924 Not Hollywood aliens. The real guys. 177 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,759 Right. 178 00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,244 Get some sleep. 179 00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:03,715 They're here... for our teeth. 180 00:07:06,168 --> 00:07:07,352 Oh, man. 181 00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:09,103 We've got a live one. 182 00:07:10,938 --> 00:07:13,189 All right. Where are you? 183 00:07:23,701 --> 00:07:24,951 Aah! Aah! 184 00:07:31,783 --> 00:07:33,300 Fred?! 185 00:07:33,318 --> 00:07:35,402 What are you doing in my basement, 186 00:07:35,436 --> 00:07:38,038 dressed like the tin man? 187 00:07:38,056 --> 00:07:39,973 I'm hiding out from Sheila for a couple of days. 188 00:07:40,007 --> 00:07:42,108 Okay. And what's with the getup? 189 00:07:42,126 --> 00:07:44,661 Well, as you know, Sheila and I share a psychic connection. 190 00:07:44,696 --> 00:07:47,047 She's not unlike the all-seeing eye of Sauron. 191 00:07:47,081 --> 00:07:49,583 This leaden apron prevents her from peering into my soul, 192 00:07:49,617 --> 00:07:51,635 and the foil crown scrambles my brain waves, 193 00:07:51,669 --> 00:07:54,487 thus retarding Sheila's ability to read my thoughts. 194 00:07:54,506 --> 00:07:56,723 Okay, you need to get out of my basement. 195 00:07:56,758 --> 00:07:58,141 I can't! 196 00:08:00,861 --> 00:08:02,663 Winning the salesman-of-the-year award 197 00:08:02,697 --> 00:08:04,948 is the only thing I do that she's proud of. 198 00:08:04,983 --> 00:08:07,167 And this year you didn't win? 199 00:08:07,202 --> 00:08:09,303 Oh, the shame, George, the shame. 200 00:08:09,517 --> 00:08:11,435 Fred, she's your wife. She loves you. 201 00:08:11,486 --> 00:08:12,452 She'll understand. 202 00:08:12,487 --> 00:08:14,671 Just... just tell her the truth. 203 00:08:14,922 --> 00:08:17,941 Listen to me, George. 204 00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:20,894 At home, Sheila might enjoy a nice house cat 205 00:08:20,928 --> 00:08:23,847 to stroke and fondle and feed from her hand. 206 00:08:23,898 --> 00:08:25,265 But out there in the world, 207 00:08:25,299 --> 00:08:28,451 she expects me to be a lion, red of tooth and claw! 208 00:08:28,486 --> 00:08:31,021 Honestly, George, my nerves are shot! 209 00:08:31,055 --> 00:08:33,773 All I've had to eat today is a can of beans 210 00:08:33,807 --> 00:08:35,709 and a few handfuls of gorp. 211 00:08:37,094 --> 00:08:38,728 Mmm. 212 00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,113 Please don't tell Sheila I'm eating carob. 213 00:08:40,147 --> 00:08:42,082 She thinks it's for liberals. 214 00:08:44,719 --> 00:08:45,669 What's that? 215 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,637 This is Tessa's homework, 216 00:08:47,672 --> 00:08:49,572 and your opportunity to be alone with her. 217 00:08:49,607 --> 00:08:52,142 And as you can see, I've organized it into folders 218 00:08:52,176 --> 00:08:55,145 and marked it for handy reference with color-coded tabs. 219 00:08:55,196 --> 00:08:56,830 Yeah, I... I don't think Tessa wants me 220 00:08:56,864 --> 00:09:00,300 to bring her this homework... in the biblical sense. 221 00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:03,436 ever since we made out on Christmas... 222 00:09:03,454 --> 00:09:06,006 I've been giving her some space, 223 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:07,390 and she's been taking it. 224 00:09:08,485 --> 00:09:10,169 This is your chance to sweep Tessa off her feet. 225 00:09:10,203 --> 00:09:11,587 Just imagine it. 226 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:12,855 Poor, sick Tessa, 227 00:09:12,889 --> 00:09:14,940 home alone, vulnerable in her bed, 228 00:09:14,974 --> 00:09:18,293 and you stroll in carrying all of this amazing homework, 229 00:09:18,344 --> 00:09:20,846 and Tessa, overcome, with trembling hands, 230 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,449 bestows upon you the ultimate reward... 231 00:09:23,483 --> 00:09:25,718 Touching me where the bathing suit covers! 232 00:09:25,752 --> 00:09:27,219 God! No. No! 233 00:09:27,253 --> 00:09:28,871 Why were her hands trembling? 234 00:09:28,905 --> 00:09:30,706 From gratefulness. 235 00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:33,008 Oh. Right. Gratefulness. 236 00:09:47,372 --> 00:09:48,472 Young lady, 237 00:09:48,506 --> 00:09:50,708 are you sure that much juice is a good idea? 238 00:09:50,742 --> 00:09:51,792 You'll rot your teeth. 239 00:09:53,611 --> 00:09:55,730 Stay away from me. 240 00:09:55,764 --> 00:09:57,381 I know exactly why you're here. 241 00:09:57,399 --> 00:09:59,016 Hey, look, I'm not proud of what I'm doing. 242 00:09:59,050 --> 00:10:00,484 But it's for the best. Trust me. 243 00:10:00,502 --> 00:10:02,420 I don't trust you! 244 00:10:02,454 --> 00:10:05,356 Just wait until my father finds out you've landed. 245 00:10:05,390 --> 00:10:06,524 He knows I've landed, 246 00:10:06,558 --> 00:10:08,692 and he's given me his blessing to be here! 247 00:10:08,710 --> 00:10:09,860 What's this? 248 00:10:09,895 --> 00:10:12,162 You've captured their souls?! 249 00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:13,280 I won't let you get away with this! 250 00:10:13,315 --> 00:10:15,566 I am already getting away with this! 251 00:10:15,584 --> 00:10:17,418 So you just keep your mouth shut! 252 00:10:17,469 --> 00:10:19,887 Oh, I'll keep it shut! I'll keep it shut, all right! 253 00:10:19,921 --> 00:10:20,971 You'll never get my teeth! 254 00:10:20,989 --> 00:10:21,972 Oh, yes, I will! 255 00:10:21,990 --> 00:10:24,542 Wait. What? 256 00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:30,548 Whoa. Okay. 257 00:10:30,582 --> 00:10:32,666 Did you do it, George? Did you catch a rat? 258 00:10:32,701 --> 00:10:35,703 Oh. Um... yep. 259 00:10:35,754 --> 00:10:37,838 Caught him in a humane trap. 260 00:10:37,889 --> 00:10:39,924 And then I killed him. So he's... he's dead now. 261 00:10:39,958 --> 00:10:41,398 I gotta go. I'll... I'll see you later. 262 00:10:41,926 --> 00:10:44,027 Several years ago, George, 263 00:10:44,062 --> 00:10:47,948 I chaperoned a coed overnight field trip. 264 00:10:47,982 --> 00:10:49,666 In preparation for that event, 265 00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:52,269 I memorized the FBI interrogation manual. 266 00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:54,821 - Naturally. - You're flinchy, George. 267 00:10:54,872 --> 00:10:56,757 - What? - You're flinchy, 268 00:10:56,791 --> 00:10:58,342 and you're displaying all the telltale characteristics 269 00:10:58,376 --> 00:10:59,893 of a liar. 270 00:11:00,208 --> 00:11:01,925 You're avoiding eye contact, you're stammering, 271 00:11:01,959 --> 00:11:04,027 and you're using your grocery bags 272 00:11:04,061 --> 00:11:05,579 as a physical barrier between us. 273 00:11:06,897 --> 00:11:09,532 Uh, o... okay, this is crazy. I... I'm gonna go inside now. 274 00:11:09,550 --> 00:11:10,533 Okay? Bye. 275 00:11:11,151 --> 00:11:12,869 Just remember, George. 276 00:11:12,903 --> 00:11:14,403 If you're harboring a rat, 277 00:11:14,421 --> 00:11:16,722 that makes you a rat. 278 00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,094 Knock, knock. Dr. Werner here 279 00:11:22,129 --> 00:11:24,713 for a little post-op check-in. Oh, boy. 280 00:11:24,731 --> 00:11:28,517 They've come for me. They know I know. 281 00:11:28,535 --> 00:11:29,902 But I'm glad you're here to see this, 282 00:11:29,953 --> 00:11:32,288 because you'll understand the facts more than anybody. 283 00:11:32,322 --> 00:11:35,624 1951... water fluoridation becomes official U.S. policy. 284 00:11:35,642 --> 00:11:38,077 Hmm! That sounds familiar, Tessa! 285 00:11:38,111 --> 00:11:41,163 Oh, yeah. 'Cause 51 is also in "Area 51." 286 00:11:41,198 --> 00:11:43,065 Break that down further, five plus one equals six! 287 00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:44,967 Six... the number of legs on an insect, 288 00:11:45,002 --> 00:11:46,252 the number of points on the star of David, 289 00:11:46,286 --> 00:11:48,571 the number of strings on a standard guitar, 290 00:11:48,605 --> 00:11:50,573 the number of cans in a six-pack, 291 00:11:50,607 --> 00:11:53,292 and the number of flags at a theme park! 292 00:11:53,343 --> 00:11:54,743 Oh, yeah! 293 00:11:55,121 --> 00:11:58,073 When printed three times in a row... 294 00:11:58,108 --> 00:11:59,675 It's the number... 295 00:11:59,709 --> 00:12:02,928 of the beast. 296 00:12:02,963 --> 00:12:04,813 I... I think it's... 297 00:12:04,831 --> 00:12:09,184 time to start tapering off of these. 298 00:12:09,218 --> 00:12:11,453 Uh... 299 00:12:11,488 --> 00:12:12,454 Sheila knows. 300 00:12:12,489 --> 00:12:13,589 Fred, she doesn't know. 301 00:12:13,623 --> 00:12:15,090 But you are not supposed to be up here. 302 00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:16,225 Get back in the basement. 303 00:12:16,259 --> 00:12:18,427 Meine fraulein! 304 00:12:18,445 --> 00:12:20,162 Shh! 305 00:12:20,196 --> 00:12:22,665 Okay, no. No, it's meine fraulein, not yours. 306 00:12:22,699 --> 00:12:24,016 Go downstairs and stay cool. 307 00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:25,768 Okay. 308 00:12:25,802 --> 00:12:27,453 - Hey. - Hi, daddy. 309 00:12:27,487 --> 00:12:29,204 Here's that shake I promised Tessa. 310 00:12:29,239 --> 00:12:30,605 Can I come see the patient? 311 00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:32,258 You know what? Now's not really a good time. 312 00:12:32,309 --> 00:12:35,644 - What? Why not? - Well, I... I'm just a little preoccupied, 313 00:12:35,678 --> 00:12:36,895 and I think Tessa may be resting, 314 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,580 so we'll talk later, okay? 315 00:12:38,615 --> 00:12:40,799 - Well, I... - Oh. Thanks for the milkshake. 316 00:13:01,603 --> 00:13:02,904 I know I'm in your way, George. 317 00:13:02,938 --> 00:13:06,257 And I'm sorry, but that was a close call today. 318 00:13:06,291 --> 00:13:07,291 I need to lay low. 319 00:13:07,326 --> 00:13:10,027 Fred, I can't keep doing this. 320 00:13:10,079 --> 00:13:11,996 I lied to Sheila, I was rude to Dallas, 321 00:13:12,030 --> 00:13:13,631 and I've got a kid upstairs that... 322 00:13:13,665 --> 00:13:15,049 That doesn't need you like I need you, George! 323 00:13:15,084 --> 00:13:17,718 Not like I do! 324 00:13:19,271 --> 00:13:20,238 What? 325 00:13:20,272 --> 00:13:21,622 Oh, no. 326 00:13:21,657 --> 00:13:23,374 Oh, God! 327 00:13:23,409 --> 00:13:24,876 No, please, lord! 328 00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:26,260 What is going on? 329 00:13:26,294 --> 00:13:27,461 How could I have been so stupid? 330 00:13:27,479 --> 00:13:29,313 The office thinks I'm home sick! 331 00:13:29,364 --> 00:13:31,282 It's junior secretary's day! 332 00:13:31,316 --> 00:13:32,433 Junior what, now? 333 00:13:34,703 --> 00:13:37,638 Ahh. It's junior secretary's day, George. 334 00:13:37,673 --> 00:13:40,308 I'm a junior secretary. 335 00:13:40,342 --> 00:13:42,143 I'm not the salesman of the year. 336 00:13:42,177 --> 00:13:44,145 They were gonna let me go, 337 00:13:44,179 --> 00:13:45,313 but I convinced them to keep me. 338 00:13:45,347 --> 00:13:47,348 Junior secretary was the only opening they had, 339 00:13:47,382 --> 00:13:49,884 so I took it, George! I took it right in the pants! 340 00:13:49,902 --> 00:13:52,353 Oh. So you're a junior secretary? 341 00:13:52,387 --> 00:13:55,523 Yeah, I get the coffee for the lady who gets the coffee. 342 00:13:55,557 --> 00:13:57,442 If Sheila finds out, my marriage is over. 343 00:13:57,493 --> 00:13:59,226 I'll have to live in your basement permanently. 344 00:13:59,244 --> 00:14:01,362 Which is why you have to go across the street 345 00:14:01,396 --> 00:14:02,663 and steal that basket, 346 00:14:02,698 --> 00:14:04,732 so Sheila doesn't find out about my secretarial work, 347 00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:05,833 and I don't have to live underground 348 00:14:05,868 --> 00:14:07,201 like a Chilean miner! 349 00:14:09,037 --> 00:14:11,622 Now can I get you a coffee? 350 00:14:17,510 --> 00:14:18,594 Only in Chatswin 351 00:14:18,645 --> 00:14:19,895 was junior secretary's day 352 00:14:19,930 --> 00:14:21,263 an occasion that warranted gift baskets, 353 00:14:21,298 --> 00:14:22,948 balloon towers, 354 00:14:22,983 --> 00:14:25,117 and limos full of... Junior secretaries. 355 00:14:26,846 --> 00:14:32,100 J.S.D. 2013, bitches! 356 00:14:38,307 --> 00:14:39,407 No! 357 00:14:40,526 --> 00:14:41,943 Damn it! 358 00:14:50,039 --> 00:14:52,006 - Oh. Oh. - Hey, Ryan. 359 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,659 Mr. Alt-man. What up? 360 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,627 Oh, nothing. Nothing. 361 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,412 I was just, um, I was just looking 362 00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,097 for the get-well basket that I ordered for Tessa. 363 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,349 And wouldn't you know it? 364 00:15:00,383 --> 00:15:01,516 They delivered the darn thing to the wrong address. 365 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:02,951 Oh, there it is. 366 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:07,239 Oh. Uh, looks like they got the "get well" part wrong, too. 367 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:08,774 - Uh... - Bummer. 368 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:10,492 Yeah, I was just gonna bring Tessa her homework... 369 00:15:10,526 --> 00:15:11,960 - Oh. - As a friend. 370 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,478 Not as someone who's, like, hypnotized 371 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:16,598 by the play of sunlight on her coppery hair or anything. 372 00:15:16,632 --> 00:15:19,451 Right. Well, of course not. I'm sure she'll be grateful. 373 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,920 That's all I want, actually, is... is her gratefulness. 374 00:15:21,971 --> 00:15:24,690 Well, I'm just gonna pop into your house 375 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:27,192 and grab that basket, which is mine anyway. 376 00:15:27,243 --> 00:15:28,977 I'm just gonna pop over to your house and grab nothing. 377 00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:32,364 Uh, just gonna deliver these papers to your daughter is all. 378 00:15:32,415 --> 00:15:34,433 Nothing else. 379 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,516 Be back in 30 minutes for dinner, Ryan! 380 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,151 I just came back from my riding lesson... 381 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,020 ugh, starving! 382 00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:09,968 Fred must have funked up his fleece again. 383 00:16:28,004 --> 00:16:29,521 I'm not stealing. 384 00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,056 I don't care. 385 00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:36,200 I was finally off the pain killers 386 00:16:36,251 --> 00:16:38,502 and back to my old self, 387 00:16:38,553 --> 00:16:40,221 but my old self was in a lot of pain. 388 00:16:40,255 --> 00:16:42,723 Fortunately, Ryan had a solution. 389 00:16:42,741 --> 00:16:45,576 There. 390 00:16:45,611 --> 00:16:48,045 That's what I did when I got mouth-checked in lacrosse. 391 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,013 Oh, my God. 392 00:16:49,047 --> 00:16:51,799 Ryan, thank you so much. 393 00:16:51,817 --> 00:16:53,651 That feels so much better. 394 00:16:53,685 --> 00:16:55,319 You look like a bunny. 395 00:16:55,354 --> 00:16:57,204 - Yeah? - Yeah. 396 00:16:57,239 --> 00:17:00,257 By the way, your socks smell a lot better than mine. 397 00:17:00,292 --> 00:17:01,309 - Thanks. - Yeah. 398 00:17:01,343 --> 00:17:05,229 - I wash 'em. - Mm. 399 00:17:05,263 --> 00:17:07,264 You mouth-checked me, too, you know. 400 00:17:07,316 --> 00:17:09,750 On Christmas. 401 00:17:09,785 --> 00:17:12,653 Ever since you slammed your tongue into mine, 402 00:17:12,671 --> 00:17:14,755 I've been thinking about what it meant to you, 403 00:17:14,790 --> 00:17:16,307 if anything. 404 00:17:16,341 --> 00:17:19,393 It meant something. 405 00:17:20,328 --> 00:17:21,861 But what? 406 00:17:23,531 --> 00:17:24,497 I don't know. 407 00:17:24,532 --> 00:17:26,333 We tried it before. 408 00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:29,486 And... we're total opposites. 409 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:30,687 That's great, 410 00:17:30,738 --> 00:17:32,606 because opposites don't push each other apart. 411 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,575 They... they... they... they do the other thing. 412 00:17:35,610 --> 00:17:39,162 They attract, Ryan. Opposites... attract. 413 00:17:39,196 --> 00:17:41,815 I'm super attracted to you even right now. 414 00:17:41,849 --> 00:17:44,984 I mean, your face is puffy, and your gums are bloody, 415 00:17:45,002 --> 00:17:47,337 and your lips are dry and lusterless... 416 00:17:47,371 --> 00:17:48,338 Ow. 417 00:17:48,372 --> 00:17:51,424 That must mean something, right? 418 00:17:51,459 --> 00:17:53,760 Don't make me smile. It hurts. 419 00:17:53,794 --> 00:17:56,496 See? I make you smile even when it hurts to smile. 420 00:17:58,766 --> 00:18:01,518 Maybe that means something, too. 421 00:18:01,552 --> 00:18:03,436 Ow. 422 00:18:13,797 --> 00:18:14,914 Mission accomplished. 423 00:18:14,932 --> 00:18:16,849 - Your secret is safe. - Oh! Mm. 424 00:18:16,884 --> 00:18:18,101 Thank you, George. 425 00:18:18,135 --> 00:18:19,085 - Mm. Okay. - Thank you. 426 00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:20,436 - Thank you. - Okay. 427 00:18:20,471 --> 00:18:23,556 Okay. That's enough, Fred. You're welcome. 428 00:18:23,750 --> 00:18:24,884 Ooh! Ooh, at least partake 429 00:18:24,918 --> 00:18:26,853 in some delicious smokehouse almonds. 430 00:18:26,887 --> 00:18:28,354 They're my favorite, and you earned them. 431 00:18:28,388 --> 00:18:30,223 I'm gonna go check on my kid. Fair enough, 432 00:18:30,257 --> 00:18:32,775 but I can't promise these'll wait for you! 433 00:18:34,061 --> 00:18:35,361 Whoa! 434 00:18:35,395 --> 00:18:38,498 I'm sorry. Certainly didn't mean to startle you. 435 00:18:38,532 --> 00:18:39,816 Really? 'Cause... 436 00:18:39,867 --> 00:18:41,400 kind of seems like you did. 437 00:18:41,434 --> 00:18:43,436 It's just, the door was unlocked, 438 00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:45,204 and as neighbors, we're welcome to traipse 439 00:18:45,239 --> 00:18:48,157 in and out of each other's homes, aren't we, George? 440 00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:50,526 I thought so. 441 00:18:50,561 --> 00:18:52,328 I trust you, George. 442 00:18:52,362 --> 00:18:54,780 I really do. 443 00:18:57,584 --> 00:19:00,052 And I know you would never lie to me. 444 00:19:00,087 --> 00:19:01,420 Of course not. 445 00:19:01,654 --> 00:19:04,123 So when you told me you had handled 446 00:19:04,157 --> 00:19:06,125 the problem in the basement, 447 00:19:06,159 --> 00:19:09,679 I took you at... your... word. 448 00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:10,996 Still... 449 00:19:11,048 --> 00:19:16,852 I just... can't... shake... t!he feeling that maybe, 450 00:19:16,887 --> 00:19:18,337 just maybe... 451 00:19:18,355 --> 00:19:20,022 the problem... 452 00:19:20,057 --> 00:19:21,891 persists. 453 00:19:21,942 --> 00:19:23,675 And if so, 454 00:19:23,694 --> 00:19:26,145 then perhaps it's time to use... 455 00:19:26,179 --> 00:19:27,463 the gas. 456 00:19:27,497 --> 00:19:29,298 "G'die, mate"? 457 00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:31,283 Sheila, no! He won't survive! 458 00:19:33,453 --> 00:19:34,987 Fred! 459 00:19:35,021 --> 00:19:36,155 Fred? 460 00:19:36,189 --> 00:19:37,707 That my wife you got there? 461 00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,158 I'm gonna need her back, 462 00:19:39,192 --> 00:19:41,192 'cause I took an early flight home just to see her. 463 00:19:41,194 --> 00:19:43,245 Hi. 464 00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:47,500 Mm! 465 00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:51,337 Well, don't you look handsome in your riding gear? 466 00:19:51,371 --> 00:19:53,422 I know one pony that needs a ride. 467 00:19:53,473 --> 00:19:54,423 Well... 468 00:19:54,474 --> 00:19:57,093 - get in the house. - Mm. 469 00:19:57,144 --> 00:19:58,377 Ya! 470 00:19:58,395 --> 00:19:59,878 What makes a good couple work is... 471 00:19:59,896 --> 00:20:02,064 a complete mystery. 472 00:20:02,199 --> 00:20:04,033 I really like him. 473 00:20:04,084 --> 00:20:07,486 But we just don't make sense on paper. 474 00:20:07,504 --> 00:20:09,004 Well, I'm not sure I'm the one 475 00:20:09,039 --> 00:20:11,290 to be doling out relationship advice at the moment. 476 00:20:11,324 --> 00:20:13,843 You see, I mistakenly thought your daddy and I 477 00:20:13,877 --> 00:20:15,845 had entered the joint decor stage... 478 00:20:15,879 --> 00:20:16,879 Hey. 479 00:20:16,930 --> 00:20:19,181 Where did you find this? 480 00:20:19,216 --> 00:20:21,600 I found that discarded like a piece of trash 481 00:20:21,635 --> 00:20:22,685 in your trash. 482 00:20:22,719 --> 00:20:23,719 Are you kidding? 483 00:20:23,770 --> 00:20:25,837 George has been looking everywhere for this. 484 00:20:25,856 --> 00:20:27,857 What? Well, then, why, pray tell... 485 00:20:27,891 --> 00:20:29,391 would he throw it away? 486 00:20:29,442 --> 00:20:30,722 It's not trash. It's joint decor. 487 00:20:30,727 --> 00:20:32,895 No, he didn't throw it away, Dallas. I did. 488 00:20:32,946 --> 00:20:35,681 I... I thought it was from outer space. 489 00:20:35,699 --> 00:20:38,651 It's been a really weird day. 490 00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:44,189 Oh. Oh. So this is all your fault. 491 00:20:44,207 --> 00:20:47,576 That makes me feel so much better. 492 00:20:47,627 --> 00:20:49,195 At least one of us does. 493 00:20:49,309 --> 00:20:53,412 Right. Look, Tessa, I know it isn't easy, 494 00:20:53,446 --> 00:20:55,581 and believe me, there's no odder couple 495 00:20:55,615 --> 00:20:57,016 than me and your dad. 496 00:20:57,050 --> 00:20:59,117 But sometimes there's more to life 497 00:20:59,135 --> 00:21:01,553 than what makes sense on paper. 498 00:21:02,922 --> 00:21:04,056 Thanks, Dallas. 499 00:21:04,090 --> 00:21:05,257 Sure thing. 500 00:21:05,291 --> 00:21:07,760 And sorry I hijacked the earlier part of the conversation 501 00:21:07,794 --> 00:21:09,762 to be about my love life. 502 00:21:09,796 --> 00:21:13,816 But seriously, you think he's super into me, right? 503 00:21:17,270 --> 00:21:21,273 Ahh. It feels good to be home. 504 00:21:27,247 --> 00:21:29,164 Good night, Sheila. 505 00:21:29,199 --> 00:21:30,165 'Night, Fred. 506 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,733 Oh, and, Fred... 507 00:21:32,860 --> 00:21:34,773 happy junior secretary's day. 508 00:21:34,774 --> 00:21:40,774 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -