1 00:00:01,634 --> 00:00:04,036 Eek. 2 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:04,970 Ugh. 3 00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:06,772 Okay, you can Go ahead and rinse. 4 00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:08,173 I've seen All i need to see here. 5 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,174 The wisdom teeth. 6 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,143 Those puppies Need to come out. 7 00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:12,344 But they don't hurt. 8 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,046 It's preventative. 9 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:15,981 So then wouldn't that be Like amputating your arm 10 00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:18,550 So that you don't Break it one day? 11 00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:19,818 Who sent you here? 12 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,787 Give me one good reason To pull four teeth! 13 00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:24,323 Tessa, your dad asked me To assess 14 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:27,793 Whether or not your wisdom teeth Needed to come out. 15 00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:30,629 I'm assessing that they do. Now rinse. 16 00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:33,032 Well, i don't really need To rinse after an assessment. 17 00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:34,967 You will rinse, And when i say rinse, you rinse! 18 00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:36,168 Okay, let's see. 19 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,637 We can get you in Tomorrow morning, 20 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,339 On junior secretary's day. (spits) 21 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:44,510 Oh, darn. I had really big plans For junior secretary's day. 22 00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,512 Just because we do Sub-secretarial work 23 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,580 Doesn't mean we're subhuman. 24 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,182 You'll have your day Tomorrow, greta. 25 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,517 Stand down. 26 00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,519 Here's your reminder card, Hon. 27 00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:54,753 We will see you Tomorrow. 28 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,188 You msee me tomorrow, 29 00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:57,990 if i decide To have the surgery, 30 00:00:57,992 --> 00:00:58,991 Which i haven't yet. 31 00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:00,192 Okay. (laughs) 32 00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:02,327 Bye, greta. 33 00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:06,165 And now, salesman of the year For a record five years running, 34 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:09,168 The one, the only, The killer in khakis... 35 00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:12,037 (singsongy) Fred shay! Whoo! 36 00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,339 (fred) whoo! Mm! Mm! Mm! 37 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:16,575 Well, gang, I am off to beautiful, 38 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,744 Sunny cranston, rhode island. 39 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,212 I don't know why They even bother 40 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:21,680 With this contest anymore. 41 00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,882 They just end up sending you Every darn year. (laughs) 42 00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:26,251 Well, i'll be back thursday. Group hug! 43 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,953 Aw. Mm. 44 00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:29,621 Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. Mm! 45 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,758 Lisa, you may want to consider Using a stronger deodorant. 46 00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:35,594 (tessa) when something is painfully boring, 47 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,229 people say it's "like pulling teeth." 48 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:40,933 To determine the subject Of tomorrow's in-class essay, 49 00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:43,902 Each pupil will have a chance To take a spin 50 00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:46,038 On the thrilling-- Say it with me-- 51 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,372 Wheel... 52 00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:48,373 Of... 53 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:49,708 Topics! 54 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,810 oral surgery might be a nice alternative 55 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:53,545 to whatever in-class essay 56 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,080 the wheel of topics would bring. 57 00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:57,883 Tessa altman, come on down! 58 00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,319 (claps) 59 00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:02,588 (whirs) 60 00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,056 Not medieval armor And weapons. 61 00:02:04,058 --> 00:02:05,991 Please, not medieval armor And weapons. 62 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:11,163 (whispers) yes. Oh! 63 00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:12,164 Look at that! 64 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:13,966 Eleanor of aquitaine! 65 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:17,069 "you're welcome," Quoth the wheel. 66 00:02:17,071 --> 00:02:19,238 Well, here's the thing, Mr. Simpkin, 67 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,272 I'm gonna be Out of school tomorrow 68 00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,974 Due to some Emergency oral surgery 69 00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:24,143 I... Just decided i'm having, 70 00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:27,913 So eleanor of aquitaine-- 71 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,248 Uh, she just might Have to wait. 72 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,983 (school bell rings) Hmm. 73 00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:33,252 It's us. I see that. 74 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,353 We were sitting On the couch. 75 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,354 (chuckles) i remember. 76 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,656 Exactly as we are Right now. 77 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:41,293 Well, our love of sitting on Couches has been immortalized. 78 00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:42,995 I love it. 79 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,263 I hope I'm not rushing things, 80 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:47,299 But i was just hoping we were At the point of joint decor. 81 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:48,834 Is that french For "no return"? 82 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,135 No, silly. (chuckles) 83 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:52,504 It just means the point where We can start leaving things 84 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,806 At each other's places. Ah. 85 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,476 Unless you don't feel like We're ready for joint decor. 86 00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,211 No, we absolutely are. 87 00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:01,280 In fact, i have A funky old washcloth 88 00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:03,015 I was hoping To leave in your guest bath. 89 00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:04,516 See, you're teasing, 90 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,186 But i'm trying to take All this here to the next level. 91 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,488 Oh. Well, thank you, sweetheart. 92 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:12,191 (kisses) i will put it In a place of honor. 93 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,159 (clears throat) Do you have to be somewhere? 94 00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:16,795 Oh, no, sorry. I-i'm just-- 95 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,697 I'm bracing myself For an argument with tessa. 96 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,199 She's supposed to get Her wisdom teeth out tomorrow. 97 00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:24,369 But noah says she's refusing. She says it's unnecessary. 98 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:27,573 (door opens) Initially, dalia said the same Thing about collagen treatments, 99 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,141 But i got her To come around. (door closes) 100 00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:30,742 Hey, guys. Hey, tessa. 101 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,344 Good luck getting Your wisdom teeth out 102 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:35,013 Tomorrow, girl. I'll bring you a milkshake. Sounds good. 103 00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,749 Told you she'd come around. 104 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,551 -- captions by vita-- 105 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:44,323 (alih jay) ♪ last night i had A pleasant nightmare ♪ 106 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:47,759 ♪ da-da-da-da, Da, da, da, da ♪ 107 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:51,230 (mouth full) i mean, The procedure's costly, 108 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:52,364 But you know Where the real money is? 109 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,166 Big pharma. Mm-hmm. 110 00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,268 The guys pushing those Habit-forming pain meds-- 111 00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:58,937 They get the biggest payday. 112 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,939 Okay, so what made you Change your mind? 113 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,040 Eleanor of aquitaine. 114 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:05,210 (shuffling and squeaking) 115 00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:07,079 Did you hear that? 116 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,547 (scratching continues) 117 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,449 Sounds like It's coming from the basement. 118 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,618 (switch clicks) 119 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:18,490 (creaking) 120 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,372 Oh, man. 121 00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,274 That's just great. 122 00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,143 Well, look who it is. 123 00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:41,313 Old george altman doing The walk of shame to his cans. 124 00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:42,314 Hey, sheila. 125 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:43,782 Is that rodent excrement? 126 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,617 Have you brought vermin Into chatswin? 127 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,052 It's--it's okay. Don't worry. 128 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,221 I've already Set some humane traps. (clatter) 129 00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:50,789 (laughs) humane traps? 130 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,392 Rats laugh At humane traps, george. 131 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,961 And the only way To silence their laughter-- 132 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,129 Poison gas. 133 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,298 Poison gas? (laughs) okay. 134 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,565 I-i won't be using Poison gas. 135 00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,968 Don't go all wobbly On me now, george. 136 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,337 I recently purchased A case of rat bombs 137 00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,239 From australia on ebay. (sniffles) 138 00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:09,241 Technically, They're "illegal" here, 139 00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:11,410 But they can take out A full-grown wallaby 140 00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:12,678 In under 30 seconds. 141 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,279 Let me go grab you one. 142 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,181 Thank you, sheila, But no, thank you. 143 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,816 Really. I got this. 144 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:18,817 I hope so, george, 145 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,686 Because i will be Following up! 146 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,121 This is how The black plague started! 147 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,123 More or less! 148 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,458 the next morning, 149 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,960 george had a more pressing crisis to deal with-- 150 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,263 one that involved general anesthesia. 151 00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:33,198 (singsongy) How's my girl? 152 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,702 (laughs) she's great, huh? 153 00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:38,437 (whispers) dad. 154 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:41,306 (normal voice) Oh. You came for me. 155 00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:42,507 I love you. 156 00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:50,315 Did anybody Follow you here? 157 00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:52,451 What? What is She talking about? 158 00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:55,220 dad, i'm talking about 159 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,356 The wisdom teeth conspiracy Thing. 160 00:05:57,358 --> 00:06:00,392 And i'm not even talking About our government. 161 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:03,061 (whispering) I'm talking about... 162 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,062 Theirs. 163 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,497 Okay. Tessa, sweetheart, 164 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,898 You're drooling blood. 165 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,167 Is this reaction To the medication normal? 166 00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:10,869 You know, not really. 167 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,805 Uh, i--you know, I'm 80% certain 168 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,507 That she's gonna be okay. Really? 80%? 169 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,209 That's very reassuring. Thank you. 170 00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:19,378 How i come by later, Check on her. Sound good? 171 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:21,346 Hey! (laughs) oh, greta! 172 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,048 How you loving Those balloons, huh? 173 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,817 Today's your special day. (laughs) 174 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,552 (lowered voice) I cannot stand greta. 175 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,388 I'm letting her go At the end of the week. 176 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,990 Mm? Come on. 177 00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:35,427 Ask yourself, george-- 178 00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,429 What is the one thing That we have 179 00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:38,997 That they don't have? 180 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,368 Teeth. Teeth! 181 00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:46,071 Have you ever seen An alien with teeth? 182 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:49,074 Well, the alien in the movie "alien" had huge teeth. 183 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:52,377 No, i'm talking About real aliens. 184 00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:56,548 Not hollywood aliens. The real guys. 185 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,383 Right. 186 00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:00,085 Get some sleep. 187 00:07:01,854 --> 00:07:04,589 They're here... For our teeth. 188 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,092 (rattling, shuffling, And squeaking) 189 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,393 Oh, man. 190 00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:10,061 We've got a live one. 191 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,464 All right. Where are you? 192 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,109 Aah! Aah! 193 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,277 (clank, thud) 194 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:28,814 Fred?! (clatters) 195 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:31,049 What are you doing In my basement, 196 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,885 Dressed like the tin man? 197 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,887 I'm hiding out from sheila For a couple of days. 198 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,823 Okay. And what's with the getup? 199 00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:40,625 Well, as you know, sheila and i Share a psychic connection. 200 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,928 She's not unlike The all-seeing eye of sauron. 201 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:45,664 This leaden apron prevents her From peering into my soul, 202 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,799 And the foil crown Scrambles my brain waves, 203 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,669 Thus retarding sheila's ability To read my thoughts. 204 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,804 Okay, you need To get out of my basement. 205 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,406 I can't! 206 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,977 Winning the salesman- Of-the-year award 207 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,413 Is the only thing i do That she's proud of. 208 00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:03,748 And this year You didn't win? 209 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,951 Oh, the shame, george, The shame. 210 00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:07,953 Fred, she's your wife. She loves you. 211 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:08,954 She'll understand. 212 00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:11,022 Just... Just tell her The truth. 213 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:14,192 (chuckles) listen to me, George. 214 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:17,195 At home, sheila might Enjoy a nice house cat 215 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:20,265 To stroke and fondle And feed from her hand. 216 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,800 But out there in the world, 217 00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,836 She expects me to be a lion, red of tooth and claw! 218 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,639 Honestly, george, My nerves are shot! 219 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,375 All i've had to eat today Is a can of beans 220 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,410 And a few handfuls of gorp. 221 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,480 Mmm. 222 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:36,982 (mouth full) please don't Tell sheila i'm eating carob. 223 00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:39,050 She thinks It's for liberals. 224 00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:42,554 What's that? 225 00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:44,556 This is tessa's homework, 226 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,525 And your opportunity To be alone with her. 227 00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,027 And as you can see, I've organized it into folders 228 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,130 And marked it for handy Reference with color-coded tabs. 229 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:53,999 Yeah, i-i don't think Tessa wants me 230 00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:57,502 To bring her this homework... In the biblical sense. 231 00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:00,739 Ever since We made out on christmas... 232 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:03,241 (slap) I've been giving her Some space, 233 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,809 And she's been taking it. 234 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,478 This is your chance To sweep tessa off her feet. 235 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,812 Just imagine it. 236 00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,147 Poor, sick tessa, 237 00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,249 Home alone, Vulnerable in her bed, 238 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:14,853 And you stroll in carrying All of this amazing homework, 239 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:17,322 And tessa, overcome, With trembling hands, 240 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,891 Bestows upon you The ultimate reward-- 241 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,260 Touching me Where the bathing suit covers! 242 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,929 God! No. No! 243 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,564 Why were Her hands trembling? 244 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,399 From gratefulness. 245 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,834 Oh. Right. Gratefulness. 246 00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,403 (school bell rings) 247 00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:36,341 (gulping) 248 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,082 Young lady, 249 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,451 Are you sure that much juice Is a good idea? 250 00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:47,619 You'll rot your teeth. 251 00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:51,590 Stay away from me. 252 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,191 I know exactly why you're here. 253 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,026 Hey, look, i'm not proud Of what i'm doing. 254 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,361 But it's for the best. Trust me. 255 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,296 I don't trust you! 256 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:01,299 Just wait until my father Finds out you've landed. 257 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,567 He knows i've landed, 258 00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:04,803 And he's given me His blessing to be here! 259 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,037 What's this? 260 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,206 You've captured Their souls?! 261 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,407 I won't let you Get away with this! 262 00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,776 I am already Getting away with this! 263 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,645 So you just Keep your mouth shut! 264 00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:16,081 Oh, i'll keep it shut! I'll keep it shut, all right! 265 00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,215 You'll never get my teeth! 266 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,216 Oh, yes, i will! 267 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,952 Wait. What? 268 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:24,556 (birds chirping) 269 00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:27,058 Whoa. Okay. 270 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,994 Did you do it, george? Did you catch a rat? 271 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:32,130 Oh. Um... Yep. 272 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,299 Caught him In a humane trap. 273 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,434 And then i killed him. So he's--he's dead now. 274 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,003 I gotta go. I'll--i'll see you later. 275 00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,938 Several years ago, george, 276 00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:43,908 I chaperoned A coed overnight field trip. 277 00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,777 In preparation For that event, 278 00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,346 I memorized The fbi interrogation manual. 279 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:51,116 Naturally. You're flinchy, george. 280 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,084 What? You're flinchy, 281 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,619 And you're displaying all The telltale characteristics 282 00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,087 Of a liar. 283 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,123 You're avoiding eye contact, You're stammering, 284 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,025 And you're using Your grocery bags 285 00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:01,793 As a physical barrier Between us. 286 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,128 (laughs) 287 00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,797 Uh, o-okay, this is crazy. I-i'm gonna go inside now. 288 00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:06,798 Okay? Bye. 289 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,466 Just remember, george. 290 00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:09,934 If you're harboring a rat, 291 00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:12,437 That makes you a rat. 292 00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:17,976 Knock, knock. Dr. Werner here 293 00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:20,512 For a little post-op check-in. Oh, boy. 294 00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:24,349 They've come for me. They know i know. 295 00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:25,884 But i'm glad You're here to see this, 296 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:28,119 Because you'll understand The facts more than anybody. 297 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:31,623 1951--water fluoridation Becomes official u.S. Policy. 298 00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:33,958 Hmm! That sounds familiar, tessa! 299 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,128 Oh, yeah. 'cause 51 Is also in "area 51." 300 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,997 Break that down further, Five plus one equals six! 301 00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,132 Six--the number Of legs on an insect, 302 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,300 The number of points On the star of david, 303 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,703 The number of strings On a standard guitar, 304 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,738 The number of cans In a six-pack, 305 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:49,407 And the number of flags At a theme park! 306 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,009 Oh, yeah! 307 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:54,012 When printed three times In a row... 308 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,547 It's the number... 309 00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:59,017 Of the beast. 310 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,885 I... I think it's... 311 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:05,223 Time to start Tapering off of these. 312 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,592 Uh... 313 00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:08,593 Sheila knows. 314 00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:09,828 Fred, she doesn't know. 315 00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,229 But you are not Supposed to be up here. 316 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,397 Get back in the basement. 317 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,733 (knock on door) (gasps) meine fraulein! 318 00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:16,401 Shh! 319 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,104 (slurping) Okay, no. No, it's meine fraulein, not yours. 320 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:20,338 Go downstairs And stay cool. 321 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,040 Okay. 322 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:23,942 Hey. Hi, daddy. 323 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,677 Here's that shake I promised tessa. 324 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,178 Can i come See the patient? 325 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,747 You know what? Now's not really a good time. 326 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:32,050 What? Why not? Well, i-i'm just A little preoccupied, 327 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,418 And i think tessa May be resting, 328 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,019 So we'll talk later, okay? 329 00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:37,355 Well, i-- Oh. Thanks for the milkshake. 330 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,757 (door creaks) 331 00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:55,740 (squeaks) 332 00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,308 (sighs) 333 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,777 I know I'm in your way, george. 334 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:02,046 And i'm sorry, but that was A close call today. 335 00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:03,114 I need to lay low. (liquor pouring) 336 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,084 Fred, i can't Keep doing this. 337 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:08,086 I lied to sheila, I was rude to dallas, 338 00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,654 And i've got A kid upstairs that-- 339 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,156 That doesn't need you Like i need you, george! 340 00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,825 Not like i do! (car horn honks) 341 00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:16,261 What? 342 00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,762 Oh, no. (vehicle door closes) 343 00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:19,464 Oh, god! 344 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,132 No, please, lord! 345 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,333 What is going on? 346 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:23,635 How could i have been So stupid? 347 00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:25,470 The office thinks I'm home sick! 348 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,472 It's junior secretary's day! 349 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,640 Junior what, now? 350 00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,975 (ice cubes clinking) 351 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,978 Ahh. It's junior secretary's Day, george. 352 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,581 I'm a junior secretary. 353 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,349 I'm not The salesman of the year. 354 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,351 They were gonna let me go, 355 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,586 But i convinced them To keep me. 356 00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,621 Junior secretary was The only opening they had, 357 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:46,291 So i took it, george! I took it right in the pants! 358 00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,626 Oh. So you're A junior secretary? 359 00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:51,830 Yeah, i get the coffee for The lady who gets the coffee. 360 00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:53,765 If sheila finds out, My marriage is over. 361 00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,466 I'll have to live In your basement permanently. 362 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:57,702 Which is why you have to go Across the street 363 00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,103 And steal that basket, 364 00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,172 So sheila doesn't find out About my secretarial work, 365 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,307 And i don't Have to live underground 366 00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,508 Like a chilean miner! 367 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,276 (sighs) 368 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,146 Now can i get you a coffee? 369 00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:10,348 only in chatswin 370 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,482 was junior secretary's day 371 00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:12,951 an occasion that warranted gift baskets, 372 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,519 balloon towers, 373 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,821 and limos full of... junior secretaries. (women cheering) 374 00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:17,822 (hip-hop music playing) 375 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:23,228 (women) j.S.D. 2013, bitches! 376 00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:25,864 (cheering) 377 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,532 (door squeaks open) 378 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,567 ♪ 379 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:30,501 (lowered voice) no! 380 00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,669 (door squeaks) 381 00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,238 Damn it! 382 00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:42,046 Oh. Oh. Hey, ryan. 383 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,681 Mr. Alt-man. What up? 384 00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,683 Oh, nothing. Nothing. 385 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,652 I was just, um, I was just looking 386 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,354 For the get-well basket That i ordered for tessa. 387 00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:50,655 And wouldn't you know it? 388 00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:51,723 They delivered the darn thing To the wrong address. 389 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,258 Oh, there it is. 390 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:57,495 Oh. Uh, looks like they got The "get well" part wrong, too. 391 00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,197 Uh... Bummer. 392 00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,865 Yeah, i was just gonna Bring tessa her homework... 393 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,433 Oh. As a friend. 394 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:03,868 Not as someone Who's, like, hypnotized 395 00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:07,105 By the play of sunlight on Her coppery hair or anything. 396 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:10,008 Right. Well, of course not. I'm sure she'll be grateful. 397 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:12,610 That's all i want, actually, Is--is her gratefulness. 398 00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:15,380 Well, i'm just gonna Pop into your house 399 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:17,782 And grab that basket, Which is mine anyway. 400 00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:19,550 I'm just gonna pop over To your house and grab nothing. 401 00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:23,087 Uh, just gonna deliver these Papers to your daughter is all. 402 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,256 Nothing else. 403 00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:34,432 (rattling) 404 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:38,036 (plastic crackling) 405 00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:42,607 Be back in 30 minutes For dinner, ryan! 406 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,208 I just came Back from my riding lesson... (crackling) 407 00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:46,077 Ugh, starving! 408 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,512 (door squeaks) 409 00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:50,281 (sighs) 410 00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:58,556 (sniffs) 411 00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:01,392 Fred must have funked up His fleece again. 412 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,329 (door closes) (exhales) 413 00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:15,173 (stairs creak) 414 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,741 (plastic crackles) 415 00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:21,112 (whispers) I'm not stealing. 416 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,847 (whispers) I don't care. 417 00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:26,985 i was finally off the pain killers 418 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,420 and back to my old self, 419 00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,022 but my old self was in a lot of pain. 420 00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,758 fortunately, ryan had a solution. 421 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,594 There. 422 00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,963 That's what i did when i got Mouth-checked in lacrosse. 423 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:39,964 Oh, my god. 424 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,700 Ryan, thank you so much. 425 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,802 That feels So much better. 426 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,437 You look like a bunny. 427 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,272 Yeah? Yeah. 428 00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:51,376 By the way, your socks Smell a lot better than mine. 429 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:52,477 Thanks. Yeah. 430 00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:56,481 I wash 'em. Mm. 431 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,549 You mouth-checked me, Too, you know. 432 00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,885 On christmas. 433 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:03,821 Ever since you slammed Your tongue into mine, 434 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,957 I've been thinking About what it meant to you, 435 00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:07,692 If anything. 436 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,795 It meant something. 437 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,296 But what? 438 00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:14,832 I don't know. 439 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,834 We tried it before. 440 00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:19,871 And... We're total opposites. 441 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,139 That's great, 442 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,007 Because opposites don't Push each other apart. 443 00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:25,977 They--they--they-- They do the other thing. 444 00:17:25,979 --> 00:17:29,714 They attract, ryan. Opposites... Attract. 445 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,250 I'm super attracted to you Even right now. 446 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:35,486 I mean, your face is puffy, And your gums are bloody, 447 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,688 And your lips Are dry and lusterless... 448 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:38,689 Ow. 449 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:41,759 That must mean something, Right? 450 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:44,195 Don't make me smile. It hurts. 451 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,898 See? I make you smile Even when it hurts to smile. 452 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:52,003 Maybe that Means something, too. 453 00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:53,938 Ow. (ice rattles) 454 00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:01,579 Mission accomplished. (laughs) 455 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,514 Your secret is safe. Oh! Mm. 456 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:04,849 Thank you, george. 457 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:05,850 Mm. Okay. Thank you. 458 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,051 Thank you. Okay. 459 00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:10,121 Okay. That's enough, fred. You're welcome. 460 00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:11,422 Ooh! Ooh, at least partake 461 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,391 In some delicious Smokehouse almonds. 462 00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,026 They're my favorite, And you earned them. 463 00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,861 I'm gonna go check On my kid. Fair enough, 464 00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:19,230 But i can't promise these'll Wait for you! (chuckles) 465 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,465 (door closes) 466 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,966 Whoa! 467 00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:25,069 I'm sorry. Certainly didn't Mean to startle you. 468 00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,270 Really? 'cause... 469 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,072 Kind of seems like You did. 470 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:30,074 It's just, The door was unlocked, 471 00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:31,809 And as neighbors, We're welcome to traipse 472 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,545 In and out of each other's Homes, aren't we, george? 473 00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:37,048 I thought so. 474 00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:38,916 I trust you, george. 475 00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:41,219 I really do. 476 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:44,222 (riding crop slaps) 477 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:46,557 And i know You would never lie to me. 478 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,159 Of course not. 479 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,495 So when you told me You had handled 480 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,563 The problem In the basement, 481 00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:56,167 I took you At... Your... Word. (chuckles) 482 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,335 Still... 483 00:18:57,337 --> 00:19:03,107 I just... Can't... Shake... The feeling that maybe, 484 00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,775 Just maybe... 485 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,410 The problem... (whack) 486 00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:08,146 Persists. (whack) 487 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,181 And if so, 488 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,450 Then perhaps It's time to use... 489 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:13,918 The gas. 490 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,786 "g'die, mate"? 491 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,655 Sheila, no! He won't survive! 492 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,824 (horn honks) 493 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,292 (sheila) fred! 494 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,493 Fred? 495 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,128 That my wife You got there? 496 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:25,496 I'm gonna need her back, 497 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,498 'cause i took an early flight Home just to see her. 498 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,500 (laughs) Hi. 499 00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:33,938 Mm! 500 00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:37,775 Well, don't you look handsome In your riding gear? 501 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,877 I know one pony That needs a ride. 502 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:40,878 well... 503 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,481 Get in the house. Mm. 504 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,016 (whack) Ya! 505 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,184 what makes a good couple work is... (laughs) 506 00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,386 a complete mystery. 507 00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,321 I really like him. 508 00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:53,824 (sighs) but we just Don't make sense on paper. 509 00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,193 Well, i'm not sure I'm the one 510 00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,562 To be doling out relationship Advice at the moment. 511 00:19:57,564 --> 00:20:00,298 You see, i mistakenly Thought your daddy and i 512 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,233 Had entered The joint decor stage-- 513 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,234 Hey. 514 00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:05,503 Where did you find this? 515 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,972 I found that discarded Like a piece of trash 516 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:08,973 in your trash. 517 00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:10,141 Are you kidding? 518 00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:12,310 George has been Looking everywhere for this. 519 00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:14,212 What? Well, then, why, Pray tell... (clatters) 520 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,713 Would he throw it away? 521 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,148 It's not trash. It's joint decor. 522 00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:19,150 No, he didn't throw it away, Dallas. I did. 523 00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:22,053 I-i thought it was From outer space. 524 00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,989 It's been A really weird day. 525 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,324 (slurps) 526 00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:30,394 Oh. Oh. So this is All your fault. 527 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:33,931 (sighs) that makes me Feel so much better. 528 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,433 At least One of us does. 529 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:39,570 Right. Look, tessa, I know it isn't easy, 530 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,739 And believe me, There's no odder couple 531 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,374 Than me and your dad. 532 00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,243 But sometimes There's more to life 533 00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,678 Than what makes sense On paper. 534 00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:50,181 Thanks, dallas. 535 00:20:50,183 --> 00:20:51,515 Sure thing. 536 00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:54,051 And sorry i hijacked the earlier Part of the conversation 537 00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:56,053 To be about my love life. 538 00:20:56,055 --> 00:21:00,191 But seriously, you think He's super into me, right? 539 00:21:00,193 --> 00:21:02,360 (sighs) 540 00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:03,461 (sighs) 541 00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:07,465 Ahh. It feels good To be home. (chuckles) 542 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:10,134 (kisses) 543 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:11,802 (switch clicks) (sighs) 544 00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:15,373 Good night, sheila. 545 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:16,374 'night, fred. 546 00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:18,309 Oh, and, fred... 547 00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:19,410 Hmm? 548 00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:19,443 Happy junior secretary's day.