1 00:00:02,537 --> 00:00:04,338 Eek. 2 00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:05,456 Ugh. 3 00:00:05,490 --> 00:00:07,007 Okay, you can go ahead and rinse. 4 00:00:07,058 --> 00:00:08,442 I've seen all I need to see here. 5 00:00:08,493 --> 00:00:09,410 The wisdom teeth. 6 00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:11,095 Those puppies need to come out. 7 00:00:11,129 --> 00:00:12,413 But they don't hurt. 8 00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:14,115 It's preventative. 9 00:00:14,149 --> 00:00:16,083 So then wouldn't that be like amputating your arm 10 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,302 so that you don't break it one day? 11 00:00:18,636 --> 00:00:19,753 Who sent you here? 12 00:00:19,788 --> 00:00:21,622 Give me one good reason to pull four teeth! 13 00:00:21,816 --> 00:00:24,334 Tessa, your dad asked me to assess 14 00:00:24,352 --> 00:00:27,588 whether or not your wisdom teeth needed to come out. 15 00:00:27,622 --> 00:00:30,374 I'm assessing that they do. Now rinse. 16 00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,693 Well, I don't really need to rinse after an assessment. 17 00:00:32,927 --> 00:00:34,944 You will rinse, and when I say rinse, you rinse! 18 00:00:35,242 --> 00:00:36,359 Okay, let's see. 19 00:00:36,377 --> 00:00:38,678 We can get you in tomorrow morning, 20 00:00:38,712 --> 00:00:40,430 on junior secretary's day. (Spits) 21 00:00:40,464 --> 00:00:44,434 Oh, darn. I had really big plans for junior secretary's day. 22 00:00:44,568 --> 00:00:46,419 Just because we do sub-secretarial work 23 00:00:46,453 --> 00:00:48,438 doesn't mean we're subhuman. 24 00:00:48,852 --> 00:00:50,386 You'll have your day tomorrow, Greta. 25 00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:51,620 Stand down. 26 00:00:51,654 --> 00:00:53,506 Here's your reminder card, hon. 27 00:00:53,657 --> 00:00:54,823 We will see you tomorrow. 28 00:00:55,041 --> 00:00:58,110 You may see me tomorrow, if I decide to have the surgery, 29 00:00:58,244 --> 00:01:00,328 - which I haven't yet. - Okay. (Laughs) 30 00:01:00,546 --> 00:01:02,181 Bye, Greta. 31 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:06,331 And now, salesman of the year for a record five years running, 32 00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:09,267 the one, the only, the killer in khakis... 33 00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:12,253 (Singsongy) Fred Shay! Whoo! 34 00:01:12,271 --> 00:01:14,406 Fred: Whoo! Mm! Mm! Mm! 35 00:01:14,457 --> 00:01:16,558 Well, gang, I am off to beautiful, 36 00:01:16,592 --> 00:01:18,610 sunny Cranston, Rhode Island. 37 00:01:18,644 --> 00:01:19,924 I don't know why they even bother 38 00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:21,463 with this contest anymore. 39 00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:23,531 They just end up sending you every darn year. (Laughs) 40 00:01:23,549 --> 00:01:25,934 Well, I'll be back Thursday. Group hug! 41 00:01:25,968 --> 00:01:27,502 Aw. Mm. 42 00:01:27,537 --> 00:01:29,187 Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. Mm! 43 00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:32,207 Lisa, you may want to consider using a stronger deodorant. 44 00:01:34,339 --> 00:01:35,673 Tessa: When something is painfully boring, 45 00:01:35,707 --> 00:01:37,375 people say it's "like pulling teeth." 46 00:01:37,426 --> 00:01:40,912 To determine the subject of tomorrow's in-class essay, 47 00:01:40,946 --> 00:01:43,781 each pupil will have a chance to take a spin 48 00:01:43,816 --> 00:01:45,950 on the thrilling... say it with me... 49 00:01:45,984 --> 00:01:47,151 wheel... 50 00:01:47,186 --> 00:01:48,119 of... 51 00:01:48,170 --> 00:01:49,370 topics! 52 00:01:49,904 --> 00:01:51,855 Oral surgery might be a nice alternative 53 00:01:51,906 --> 00:01:53,591 to whatever in-class essay 54 00:01:53,625 --> 00:01:55,125 the wheel of topics would bring. 55 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,678 Tessa Altman, come on down! 56 00:01:57,712 --> 00:01:59,947 (Claps) 57 00:02:01,283 --> 00:02:02,249 (Whirs) 58 00:02:03,167 --> 00:02:04,684 Not medieval armor and weapons. 59 00:02:04,718 --> 00:02:06,319 Please, not medieval armor and weapons. 60 00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:11,391 - (Whispers) Yes. - Oh! 61 00:02:11,425 --> 00:02:12,358 Look at that! 62 00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:14,110 Eleanor of Aquitaine! 63 00:02:14,144 --> 00:02:17,297 "You're welcome," quoth the wheel. 64 00:02:17,331 --> 00:02:19,365 Well, here's the thing, Mr. Simpkin, 65 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,851 I'm gonna be out of school tomorrow due to some emergency oral surgery 66 00:02:21,886 --> 00:02:24,070 I... just decided I'm having, 67 00:02:24,104 --> 00:02:27,524 so Eleanor of Aquitaine... 68 00:02:27,575 --> 00:02:28,942 uh, she just might have to wait. 69 00:02:28,976 --> 00:02:30,510 (School bell rings) Hmm. 70 00:02:31,344 --> 00:02:33,295 - It's us. - I see that. 71 00:02:33,330 --> 00:02:34,663 We were sitting on the couch. 72 00:02:34,698 --> 00:02:35,647 (Chuckles) I remember. 73 00:02:35,682 --> 00:02:37,800 Exactly as we are right now. 74 00:02:37,834 --> 00:02:41,186 Well, our love of sitting on couches has been immortalized. 75 00:02:41,220 --> 00:02:42,955 I love it. 76 00:02:42,989 --> 00:02:44,306 I hope I'm not rushing things, 77 00:02:44,341 --> 00:02:47,009 but I was just hoping we were at the point of joint decor. 78 00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:48,594 Is that French for "no return"? 79 00:02:48,628 --> 00:02:50,012 No, silly. (Chuckles) 80 00:02:50,226 --> 00:02:52,467 It just means the point where we can start leaving things 81 00:02:52,478 --> 00:02:54,613 - at each other's places. - Ah. 82 00:02:54,647 --> 00:02:57,632 Unless you don't feel like we're ready for joint decor. 83 00:02:57,767 --> 00:02:59,284 No, we absolutely are. 84 00:02:59,318 --> 00:03:01,386 In fact, I have a funky old washcloth 85 00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:02,904 I was hoping to leave in your guest bath. 86 00:03:02,938 --> 00:03:04,472 See, you're teasing, 87 00:03:04,507 --> 00:03:06,958 but I'm trying to take all this here to the next level. 88 00:03:06,992 --> 00:03:09,277 Oh. Well, thank you, sweetheart. 89 00:03:09,628 --> 00:03:12,313 (Kisses) I will put it in a place of honor. 90 00:03:12,348 --> 00:03:14,265 (Clears throat) Do you have to be somewhere? 91 00:03:14,299 --> 00:03:16,751 Oh, no, sorry. I... I'm just... 92 00:03:16,785 --> 00:03:18,619 I'm bracing myself for an argument with Tessa. 93 00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:20,221 She's supposed to get her wisdom teeth out tomorrow. 94 00:03:20,272 --> 00:03:24,258 But Noah says she's refusing. She says it's unnecessary. 95 00:03:24,293 --> 00:03:27,378 (Door opens) Initially, Dalia said the same thing about collagen treatments, 96 00:03:27,412 --> 00:03:29,013 but I got her to come around. (Door closes) 97 00:03:29,048 --> 00:03:30,481 - Hey, Dallas. - Hey, Tessa. 98 00:03:30,516 --> 00:03:31,933 Good luck getting your wisdom teeth out 99 00:03:31,984 --> 00:03:34,602 - tomorrow, girl. I'll bring you a milkshake. - Sounds good. 100 00:03:34,636 --> 00:03:37,038 Told you she'd come around. 101 00:03:37,273 --> 00:03:39,490 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne - - www.addic7ed.com - 102 00:03:39,524 --> 00:03:44,028 [Alih Jay] ♪ Last night I had a pleasant nightmare ♪ 103 00:03:44,062 --> 00:03:47,398 2x09 Junior Secretary's Day 104 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:51,038 (Mouth full) I mean, the procedure's costly, 105 00:03:51,073 --> 00:03:52,339 but you know where the real money is? 106 00:03:52,374 --> 00:03:54,175 Big pharma. Mm-hmm. 107 00:03:54,209 --> 00:03:56,089 The guys pushing those habit-forming pain meds... 108 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,829 they get the biggest payday. 109 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,831 Okay, so what made you change your mind? 110 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:01,832 Eleanor of Aquitaine. 111 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,969 (Shuffling and squeaking) 112 00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:06,871 Did you hear that? 113 00:04:06,905 --> 00:04:08,439 (Scratching continues) 114 00:04:08,473 --> 00:04:10,374 Sounds like it's coming from the basement. 115 00:04:10,408 --> 00:04:12,460 (Switch clicks) 116 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,382 (Creaking) 117 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,297 Oh, man. 118 00:04:33,331 --> 00:04:34,982 That's just great. 119 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,935 Well, look who it is. 120 00:04:37,953 --> 00:04:41,071 Old George Altman doing the walk of shame to his cans. 121 00:04:41,105 --> 00:04:42,072 Hey, Sheila. 122 00:04:42,106 --> 00:04:43,624 Is that rodent excrement? 123 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,493 Have you brought vermin into Chatswin? 124 00:04:45,527 --> 00:04:46,827 It's... it's okay. Don't worry. 125 00:04:46,878 --> 00:04:48,963 I've already set some humane traps. (Clatter) 126 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,631 (Laughs) Humane traps? 127 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:53,200 Rats laugh at humane traps, George. 128 00:04:53,235 --> 00:04:55,686 And the only way to silence their laughter... 129 00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:56,821 poison gas. 130 00:04:57,055 --> 00:04:59,156 - Poison gas? - (Laughs) Okay. 131 00:04:59,190 --> 00:05:00,557 I... I won't be using poison gas. 132 00:05:00,575 --> 00:05:02,826 Don't go all wobbly on me now, George. 133 00:05:03,061 --> 00:05:05,512 I recently purchased a case of rat bombs 134 00:05:05,547 --> 00:05:07,430 from Australia on eBay. (Sniffles) 135 00:05:07,449 --> 00:05:09,432 Technically, they're "illegal" here, 136 00:05:09,451 --> 00:05:11,368 but they can take out a full-grown wallaby 137 00:05:11,402 --> 00:05:12,786 in under 30 seconds. 138 00:05:12,821 --> 00:05:14,271 Let me go grab you one. 139 00:05:14,289 --> 00:05:16,206 Thank you, Sheila, but no, thank you. 140 00:05:16,241 --> 00:05:17,908 Really. I got this. 141 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:18,892 I hope so, George, 142 00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,794 because I will be following up! 143 00:05:20,829 --> 00:05:23,147 This is how the black plague started! 144 00:05:23,181 --> 00:05:24,921 More or less! 145 00:05:24,923 --> 00:05:26,323 The next morning, 146 00:05:26,358 --> 00:05:28,626 George had a more pressing crisis to deal with... 147 00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:30,761 one that involved general anesthesia. 148 00:05:30,795 --> 00:05:32,680 (Singsongy) How's my girl? 149 00:05:32,731 --> 00:05:36,266 (Laughs) She's great, huh? 150 00:05:36,301 --> 00:05:37,968 (Whispers) Dad. 151 00:05:37,986 --> 00:05:40,554 (Normal voice) Oh. You came for me. 152 00:05:41,188 --> 00:05:42,839 I love you. 153 00:05:48,546 --> 00:05:50,213 Did anybody follow you here? 154 00:05:50,747 --> 00:05:52,741 What? What is she talking about? 155 00:05:52,759 --> 00:05:55,293 Dad, I'm talking about 156 00:05:55,329 --> 00:05:57,322 the wisdom teeth conspiracy thing. 157 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,263 And I'm not even talking about our government. 158 00:06:00,298 --> 00:06:02,832 (Whispering) I'm talking about... 159 00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:03,829 theirs. 160 00:06:03,865 --> 00:06:05,351 Okay. Tessa, sweetheart, 161 00:06:05,386 --> 00:06:06,652 you're drooling blood. 162 00:06:06,688 --> 00:06:08,833 Is this reaction to the medication normal? 163 00:06:08,851 --> 00:06:10,557 You know, not really. 164 00:06:10,593 --> 00:06:13,465 Uh, I... you know, I'm 80% certain 165 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:15,256 - that she's gonna be okay. - Really? 80%? 166 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,794 That's very reassuring. Thank you. 167 00:06:16,830 --> 00:06:18,941 How I come by later, check on her. Sound good? 168 00:06:18,976 --> 00:06:21,071 Hey! (Laughs) Oh, Greta! 169 00:06:21,106 --> 00:06:22,610 How you loving those balloons, huh? 170 00:06:22,662 --> 00:06:25,348 Today's your special day. (Laughs) 171 00:06:25,566 --> 00:06:27,288 (Lowered voice) I cannot stand Greta. 172 00:06:27,324 --> 00:06:29,081 I'm letting her go at the end of the week. 173 00:06:29,115 --> 00:06:31,530 Mm? Come on. 174 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,503 Ask yourself, George... 175 00:06:35,538 --> 00:06:37,455 What is the one thing that we have 176 00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:38,840 that they don't have? 177 00:06:41,126 --> 00:06:43,761 Teeth... Teeth! 178 00:06:43,795 --> 00:06:46,047 Have you ever seen an alien with teeth? 179 00:06:46,048 --> 00:06:48,848 Well, the alien in the movie "Alien" had huge teeth. 180 00:06:49,051 --> 00:06:52,036 No, I'm talking about real aliens. 181 00:06:52,070 --> 00:06:55,724 Not Hollywood aliens. The real guys. 182 00:06:55,858 --> 00:06:57,659 Right. 183 00:06:58,293 --> 00:06:59,744 Get some sleep. 184 00:07:01,529 --> 00:07:04,215 They're here... for our teeth. 185 00:07:04,266 --> 00:07:06,634 (Rattling, shuffling, and squeaking) 186 00:07:06,768 --> 00:07:07,952 Oh, man. 187 00:07:07,986 --> 00:07:09,703 We've got a live one. 188 00:07:10,838 --> 00:07:13,089 All right. Where are you? 189 00:07:23,601 --> 00:07:24,851 Aah! Aah! 190 00:07:26,783 --> 00:07:29,000 Fred?! (Clatters) 191 00:07:29,018 --> 00:07:31,102 What are you doing in my basement, 192 00:07:31,136 --> 00:07:33,738 dressed like the tin man? 193 00:07:33,756 --> 00:07:35,673 I'm hiding out from Sheila for a couple of days. 194 00:07:35,707 --> 00:07:37,808 Okay. And what's with the getup? 195 00:07:37,826 --> 00:07:40,361 Well, as you know, Sheila and I share a psychic connection. 196 00:07:40,396 --> 00:07:42,747 She's not unlike the all-seeing eye of Sauron. 197 00:07:42,781 --> 00:07:45,283 This leaden apron prevents her from peering into my soul, 198 00:07:45,317 --> 00:07:47,335 and the foil crown scrambles my brain waves, 199 00:07:47,369 --> 00:07:50,187 thus retarding Sheila's ability to read my thoughts. 200 00:07:50,706 --> 00:07:52,947 Okay, you need to get out of my basement. 201 00:07:52,983 --> 00:07:54,381 I can't! 202 00:07:57,131 --> 00:07:58,952 Winning the salesman-of-the-year award 203 00:07:58,987 --> 00:08:01,262 is the only thing I do that she's proud of. 204 00:08:01,298 --> 00:08:03,506 And this year you didn't win? 205 00:08:03,541 --> 00:08:05,665 Oh, the shame, George, the shame. 206 00:08:05,881 --> 00:08:07,820 Fred, she's your wife. She loves you. 207 00:08:07,872 --> 00:08:08,849 She'll understand. 208 00:08:08,884 --> 00:08:11,092 Just... just tell her the truth. 209 00:08:11,346 --> 00:08:14,398 (Chuckles) Listen to me, George. 210 00:08:14,432 --> 00:08:17,383 At home, Sheila might enjoy a nice house cat 211 00:08:17,417 --> 00:08:20,368 to stroke and fondle and feed from her hand. 212 00:08:20,420 --> 00:08:21,802 But out there in the world, 213 00:08:21,836 --> 00:08:25,023 she expects me to be a lion, red of tooth and claw! 214 00:08:25,058 --> 00:08:27,621 Honestly, George, my nerves are shot! 215 00:08:27,655 --> 00:08:30,403 All I've had to eat today is a can of beans 216 00:08:30,438 --> 00:08:32,360 and a few handfuls of gorp. 217 00:08:33,761 --> 00:08:35,412 Mmm. 218 00:08:35,464 --> 00:08:36,813 (Mouth full) Please don't tell Sheila I'm eating carob. 219 00:08:36,847 --> 00:08:38,803 She thinks it's for liberals. 220 00:08:41,419 --> 00:08:42,569 What's that? 221 00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:44,537 This is Tessa's homework, 222 00:08:44,572 --> 00:08:46,472 and your opportunity to be alone with her. 223 00:08:46,507 --> 00:08:49,042 And as you can see, I've organized it into folders 224 00:08:49,076 --> 00:08:52,045 and marked it for handy reference with color-coded tabs. 225 00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:53,730 Yeah, I... I don't think Tessa wants me 226 00:08:53,764 --> 00:08:57,200 to bring her this homework... in the biblical sense, 227 00:08:57,234 --> 00:09:00,336 ever since we made out on Christmas... 228 00:09:00,354 --> 00:09:02,706 (Slap) I've been giving her some space, 229 00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:04,090 and she's been taking it. 230 00:09:04,185 --> 00:09:06,369 This is your chance to sweep Tessa off her feet. 231 00:09:06,403 --> 00:09:07,787 Just imagine it. 232 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:09,055 Poor, sick Tessa, 233 00:09:09,089 --> 00:09:11,140 home alone, vulnerable in her bed, 234 00:09:11,174 --> 00:09:14,493 and you stroll in carrying all of this amazing homework, 235 00:09:14,544 --> 00:09:17,046 and Tessa, overcome, with trembling hands, 236 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,649 bestows upon you the ultimate reward... 237 00:09:19,683 --> 00:09:21,918 Touching me where the bathing suit covers! 238 00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,419 God! No. No! 239 00:09:23,453 --> 00:09:25,071 Why were her hands trembling? 240 00:09:25,105 --> 00:09:26,906 From gratefulness. 241 00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:29,208 Oh. Right. Gratefulness. 242 00:09:29,259 --> 00:09:30,776 (School bell rings) 243 00:09:32,729 --> 00:09:35,698 (Gulping) 244 00:09:42,772 --> 00:09:44,172 Young lady, 245 00:09:44,206 --> 00:09:46,408 are you sure that much juice is a good idea? 246 00:09:46,442 --> 00:09:47,492 You'll rot your teeth. 247 00:09:49,311 --> 00:09:51,430 Stay away from me. 248 00:09:51,464 --> 00:09:53,081 I know exactly why you're here. 249 00:09:53,099 --> 00:09:54,716 Hey, look, I'm not proud of what I'm doing. 250 00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:56,184 But it's for the best. Trust me. 251 00:09:56,202 --> 00:09:58,120 I don't trust you! 252 00:09:58,154 --> 00:10:01,056 Just wait until my father finds out you've landed. 253 00:10:01,090 --> 00:10:02,224 He knows I've landed, 254 00:10:02,258 --> 00:10:04,392 and he's given me his blessing to be here! 255 00:10:04,410 --> 00:10:05,560 What's this? 256 00:10:05,595 --> 00:10:07,862 You've captured their souls?! 257 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:08,980 I won't let you get away with this! 258 00:10:09,015 --> 00:10:11,266 I am already getting away with this! 259 00:10:11,284 --> 00:10:13,118 So you just keep your mouth shut! 260 00:10:13,169 --> 00:10:15,587 Oh, I'll keep it shut! I'll keep it shut, all right! 261 00:10:15,621 --> 00:10:16,671 You'll never get my teeth! 262 00:10:16,689 --> 00:10:17,672 Oh, yes, I will! 263 00:10:17,690 --> 00:10:20,242 Wait. What? 264 00:10:20,276 --> 00:10:23,829 (Birds chirping) 265 00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:26,248 Whoa. Okay. 266 00:10:26,282 --> 00:10:28,366 Did you do it, George? Did you catch a rat? 267 00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:31,803 Oh. Um... 268 00:10:31,854 --> 00:10:33,938 Yep, caught him in a humane trap. 269 00:10:33,989 --> 00:10:36,024 And then I killed him. So he's... he's dead now. 270 00:10:36,058 --> 00:10:37,498 I gotta go. I'll... I'll see you later. 271 00:10:38,026 --> 00:10:40,127 Several years ago, George, 272 00:10:40,162 --> 00:10:43,848 I chaperoned a coed overnight field trip. 273 00:10:43,882 --> 00:10:45,566 In preparation for that event, 274 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,169 I memorized the FBI interrogation manual. 275 00:10:48,203 --> 00:10:50,721 - Naturally. - You're flinchy, George. 276 00:10:50,772 --> 00:10:52,657 - What? - You're flinchy, 277 00:10:52,691 --> 00:10:54,242 and you're displaying all the telltale characteristics 278 00:10:54,276 --> 00:10:55,793 of a liar. 279 00:10:56,108 --> 00:10:57,825 You're avoiding eye contact, you're stammering, 280 00:10:57,859 --> 00:10:59,927 and you're using your grocery bags 281 00:10:59,961 --> 00:11:01,479 as a physical barrier between us. 282 00:11:01,513 --> 00:11:02,763 (Laughs) 283 00:11:02,797 --> 00:11:05,432 Uh, o... okay, this is crazy. I... I'm gonna go inside now. 284 00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:06,433 Okay? Bye. 285 00:11:07,051 --> 00:11:08,769 Just remember, George. 286 00:11:08,803 --> 00:11:10,303 If you're harboring a rat, 287 00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:12,622 that makes you a rat. 288 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:17,994 Knock, knock. Dr. Werner here 289 00:11:18,029 --> 00:11:20,613 for a little post-op check-in. Oh, boy. 290 00:11:20,631 --> 00:11:24,417 They've come for me. They know I know. 291 00:11:24,435 --> 00:11:25,802 But I'm glad you're here to see this, 292 00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:28,188 because you'll understand the facts more than anybody. 293 00:11:28,222 --> 00:11:31,524 1951... water fluoridation becomes official U.S. policy. 294 00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:33,977 Hmm! That sounds familiar, Tessa! 295 00:11:34,011 --> 00:11:37,063 Oh, yeah. 'Cause 51 is also in "Area 51." 296 00:11:37,098 --> 00:11:38,965 Break that down further, five plus one equals six! 297 00:11:38,983 --> 00:11:40,867 Six... the number of legs on an insect, 298 00:11:40,902 --> 00:11:42,152 the number of points on the star of David, 299 00:11:42,186 --> 00:11:44,471 the number of strings on a standard guitar, 300 00:11:44,505 --> 00:11:46,473 the number of cans in a six-pack, 301 00:11:46,507 --> 00:11:49,192 and the number of flags at a theme park! 302 00:11:49,243 --> 00:11:50,643 Oh, yeah! 303 00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:53,973 When printed three times in a row... 304 00:11:54,008 --> 00:11:55,575 It's the number... 305 00:11:55,609 --> 00:11:58,828 of the beast. 306 00:11:58,863 --> 00:12:00,713 I... I think it's... 307 00:12:00,731 --> 00:12:05,084 time to start tapering off of these. 308 00:12:05,118 --> 00:12:06,953 Uh... 309 00:12:06,988 --> 00:12:07,954 Sheila knows. 310 00:12:07,989 --> 00:12:09,089 Fred, she doesn't know. 311 00:12:09,123 --> 00:12:10,590 But you are not supposed to be up here. 312 00:12:10,625 --> 00:12:11,725 Get back in the basement. 313 00:12:11,759 --> 00:12:13,927 (Knock on door) (Gasps) Meine fraulein! 314 00:12:13,945 --> 00:12:15,662 Shh! 315 00:12:15,696 --> 00:12:18,165 (Slurping) Okay, no. No, it's meine fraulein, not yours. 316 00:12:18,499 --> 00:12:19,816 Go downstairs and stay cool. 317 00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:21,568 Okay. 318 00:12:21,602 --> 00:12:23,253 - Hey. - Hi, daddy. 319 00:12:23,287 --> 00:12:25,004 Here's that shake I promised Tessa. 320 00:12:25,039 --> 00:12:26,405 Can I come see the patient? 321 00:12:26,424 --> 00:12:28,058 You know what? Now's not really a good time. 322 00:12:28,109 --> 00:12:31,444 - What? Why not? - Well, I... I'm just a little preoccupied, 323 00:12:31,478 --> 00:12:32,695 and I think Tessa may be resting, 324 00:12:32,730 --> 00:12:34,380 so we'll talk later, okay? 325 00:12:34,415 --> 00:12:36,599 - Well, I... - Oh. Thanks for the milkshake. 326 00:12:36,650 --> 00:12:37,884 (Door creaks) 327 00:12:53,717 --> 00:12:54,667 (Squeaks) 328 00:12:54,685 --> 00:12:56,269 (Sighs) 329 00:12:57,403 --> 00:12:58,704 I know I'm in your way, George. 330 00:12:58,738 --> 00:13:02,057 And I'm sorry, but that was a close call today. 331 00:13:02,091 --> 00:13:03,091 I need to lay low. (Liquor pouring) 332 00:13:03,126 --> 00:13:05,827 Fred, I can't keep doing this. 333 00:13:05,879 --> 00:13:07,796 I lied to Sheila, I was rude to Dallas, 334 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,431 and I've got a kid upstairs that... 335 00:13:09,465 --> 00:13:10,849 That doesn't need you like I need you, George! 336 00:13:10,884 --> 00:13:13,518 Not like I do! (Car horn honks) 337 00:13:15,071 --> 00:13:16,038 What? 338 00:13:16,072 --> 00:13:17,422 Oh, no. (Vehicle door closes) 339 00:13:17,457 --> 00:13:19,174 Oh, God! 340 00:13:19,209 --> 00:13:20,676 No, please, lord! 341 00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:22,060 What is going on? 342 00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:23,261 How could I have been so stupid? 343 00:13:23,279 --> 00:13:25,113 The office thinks I'm home sick! 344 00:13:25,164 --> 00:13:27,082 It's junior secretary's day! 345 00:13:27,116 --> 00:13:28,233 Junior what, now? 346 00:13:28,251 --> 00:13:30,469 (Ice cubes clinking) 347 00:13:30,503 --> 00:13:33,438 Ahh. It's junior secretary's day, George. 348 00:13:33,473 --> 00:13:36,108 I'm a junior secretary. 349 00:13:36,142 --> 00:13:37,943 I'm not the salesman of the year. 350 00:13:37,977 --> 00:13:39,945 They were gonna let me go, 351 00:13:39,979 --> 00:13:41,113 but I convinced them to keep me. 352 00:13:41,147 --> 00:13:43,148 Junior secretary was the only opening they had, 353 00:13:43,182 --> 00:13:45,684 so I took it, George! I took it right in the pants! 354 00:13:45,702 --> 00:13:48,153 Oh. So you're a junior secretary? 355 00:13:48,187 --> 00:13:51,323 Yeah, I get the coffee for the lady who gets the coffee. 356 00:13:51,357 --> 00:13:53,242 If Sheila finds out, my marriage is over. 357 00:13:53,293 --> 00:13:55,026 I'll have to live in your basement permanently. 358 00:13:55,044 --> 00:13:57,162 Which is why you have to go across the street 359 00:13:57,196 --> 00:13:58,463 and steal that basket, 360 00:13:58,498 --> 00:14:00,532 so Sheila doesn't find out about my secretarial work, 361 00:14:00,550 --> 00:14:01,633 and I don't have to live underground 362 00:14:01,668 --> 00:14:03,001 like a Chilean miner! 363 00:14:03,035 --> 00:14:04,803 (Sighs) 364 00:14:04,837 --> 00:14:07,422 Now can I get you a coffee? 365 00:14:08,310 --> 00:14:09,394 Tessa: Only in Chatswin 366 00:14:09,445 --> 00:14:10,695 was junior secretary's day 367 00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:12,563 an occasion that warranted gift baskets, 368 00:14:12,598 --> 00:14:13,948 balloon towers, 369 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:16,117 and limos full of... Junior secretaries. (Women cheering) 370 00:14:16,135 --> 00:14:17,118 (Hip-hop music playing) 371 00:14:17,846 --> 00:14:23,100 Women: J.S.D. 2013, bitches! 372 00:14:23,134 --> 00:14:25,753 (Cheering) 373 00:14:25,787 --> 00:14:27,254 (Door squeaks open) 374 00:14:27,289 --> 00:14:29,273 ♪ 375 00:14:29,307 --> 00:14:30,407 (Lowered voice) No! 376 00:14:30,442 --> 00:14:31,492 (Door squeaks) 377 00:14:31,526 --> 00:14:32,943 Damn it! 378 00:14:41,039 --> 00:14:43,006 - Oh. Oh. - Hey, Ryan. 379 00:14:43,025 --> 00:14:44,659 Mr. Alt-man. What up? 380 00:14:44,693 --> 00:14:46,627 Oh, nothing. Nothing. 381 00:14:46,662 --> 00:14:48,412 I was just, um, I was just looking 382 00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:50,097 for the get-well basket that I ordered for Tessa. 383 00:14:50,148 --> 00:14:51,349 And wouldn't you know it? 384 00:14:51,383 --> 00:14:52,516 They delivered the darn thing to the wrong address. 385 00:14:52,534 --> 00:14:53,951 Oh, there it is. 386 00:14:53,985 --> 00:14:58,239 Oh. Uh, looks like they got the "get well" part wrong, too. 387 00:14:58,273 --> 00:14:59,774 - Uh... - Bummer. 388 00:14:59,808 --> 00:15:01,492 Yeah, I was just gonna bring Tessa her homework... 389 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:02,960 - Oh. - As a friend. 390 00:15:02,994 --> 00:15:04,478 Not as someone who's, like, hypnotized 391 00:15:04,513 --> 00:15:07,598 by the play of sunlight on her coppery hair or anything. 392 00:15:07,632 --> 00:15:10,451 Right. Well, of course not. I'm sure she'll be grateful. 393 00:15:10,485 --> 00:15:12,920 That's all I want, actually, is... is her gratefulness. 394 00:15:12,971 --> 00:15:15,690 Well, I'm just gonna pop into your house 395 00:15:15,724 --> 00:15:18,192 and grab that basket, which is mine anyway. 396 00:15:18,243 --> 00:15:19,977 I'm just gonna pop over to your house and grab nothing. 397 00:15:19,995 --> 00:15:23,364 Uh, just gonna deliver these papers to your daughter is all. 398 00:15:23,415 --> 00:15:25,433 Nothing else. 399 00:15:32,841 --> 00:15:34,475 (Rattling) 400 00:15:34,509 --> 00:15:38,095 (Plastic crackling) 401 00:15:40,698 --> 00:15:42,516 Be back in 30 minutes for dinner, Ryan! 402 00:15:42,551 --> 00:15:44,151 I just came back from my riding lesson... (Crackling) 403 00:15:44,186 --> 00:15:46,020 ugh, starving! 404 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:47,321 (Door squeaks) 405 00:15:48,673 --> 00:15:50,091 (Sighs) 406 00:15:55,030 --> 00:15:58,132 (Sniffs) 407 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,968 Fred must have funked up his fleece again. 408 00:16:01,302 --> 00:16:04,188 (Door closes) (Exhales) 409 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,948 (Stairs creak) 410 00:16:14,999 --> 00:16:16,550 (Plastic crackles) 411 00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,121 (Whispers) I'm not stealing. 412 00:16:21,155 --> 00:16:22,656 (Whispers) I don't care. 413 00:16:26,083 --> 00:16:27,800 I was finally off the pain killers 414 00:16:27,851 --> 00:16:30,102 and back to my old self, 415 00:16:30,153 --> 00:16:31,821 but my old self was in a lot of pain. 416 00:16:31,855 --> 00:16:34,123 Fortunately, Ryan had a solution. 417 00:16:34,141 --> 00:16:36,976 There. 418 00:16:37,011 --> 00:16:39,445 That's what I did when I got mouth-checked in lacrosse. 419 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:40,413 Oh, my God. 420 00:16:40,447 --> 00:16:43,199 Ryan, thank you so much. 421 00:16:43,217 --> 00:16:45,051 That feels so much better. 422 00:16:45,085 --> 00:16:46,719 You look like a bunny. 423 00:16:46,754 --> 00:16:48,604 - Yeah? - Yeah. 424 00:16:48,639 --> 00:16:51,657 By the way, your socks smell a lot better than mine. 425 00:16:51,692 --> 00:16:52,709 - Thanks. - Yeah. 426 00:16:52,743 --> 00:16:56,629 - I wash 'em. - Mm. 427 00:16:56,663 --> 00:16:58,664 You mouth-checked me, too, you know. 428 00:16:58,716 --> 00:17:01,150 On Christmas. 429 00:17:01,185 --> 00:17:04,053 Ever since you slammed your tongue into mine, 430 00:17:04,071 --> 00:17:06,155 I've been thinking about what it meant to you, 431 00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:07,707 if anything. 432 00:17:07,741 --> 00:17:10,793 It meant something. 433 00:17:11,728 --> 00:17:13,261 But what? 434 00:17:14,931 --> 00:17:15,897 I don't know. 435 00:17:15,932 --> 00:17:17,733 We tried it before. 436 00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:19,969 And... we're total opposites. 437 00:17:19,970 --> 00:17:21,136 That's great, 438 00:17:21,137 --> 00:17:23,285 because opposites don't push each other apart. 439 00:17:23,286 --> 00:17:26,221 They... they... they... they do the other thing. 440 00:17:26,256 --> 00:17:29,808 They attract, Ryan. Opposites... attract. 441 00:17:29,842 --> 00:17:32,461 I'm super attracted to you even right now. 442 00:17:32,495 --> 00:17:35,630 I mean, your face is puffy, and your gums are bloody, 443 00:17:35,648 --> 00:17:37,983 and your lips are dry and lusterless... 444 00:17:38,017 --> 00:17:38,984 Ow. 445 00:17:39,018 --> 00:17:42,070 That must mean something, right? 446 00:17:42,105 --> 00:17:44,406 Don't make me smile. It hurts. 447 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,142 See? I make you smile even when it hurts to smile. 448 00:17:49,412 --> 00:17:52,164 Maybe that means something, too. 449 00:17:52,198 --> 00:17:54,082 Ow. (lce rattles) 450 00:17:59,443 --> 00:18:00,960 Mission accomplished. (Laughs) 451 00:18:00,978 --> 00:18:03,295 - Your secret is safe. - Oh! Mm. 452 00:18:03,630 --> 00:18:04,847 Thank you, George. 453 00:18:04,881 --> 00:18:05,831 - Mm. Okay. - Thank you. 454 00:18:05,849 --> 00:18:07,182 - Thank you. - Okay. 455 00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:10,302 Okay. That's enough, Fred. You're welcome. 456 00:18:10,496 --> 00:18:11,630 Ooh! Ooh, at least partake 457 00:18:11,664 --> 00:18:13,599 in some delicious smokehouse almonds. 458 00:18:13,633 --> 00:18:15,100 They're my favorite, and you earned them. 459 00:18:15,134 --> 00:18:16,969 I'm gonna go check on my kid. Fair enough, 460 00:18:17,003 --> 00:18:19,521 but I can't promise these'll wait for you! (Chuckles) 461 00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:20,772 (Door closes) 462 00:18:20,807 --> 00:18:22,107 Whoa! 463 00:18:22,141 --> 00:18:25,244 I'm sorry. Certainly didn't mean to startle you. 464 00:18:25,278 --> 00:18:26,562 Really? 'Cause... 465 00:18:26,613 --> 00:18:28,146 kind of seems like you did. 466 00:18:28,180 --> 00:18:30,182 It's just, the door was unlocked, 467 00:18:30,216 --> 00:18:31,950 and as neighbors, we're welcome to traipse 468 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:34,903 in and out of each other's homes, aren't we, George? 469 00:18:36,206 --> 00:18:37,272 I thought so. 470 00:18:37,307 --> 00:18:39,074 I trust you, George. 471 00:18:39,108 --> 00:18:41,526 I really do. 472 00:18:41,544 --> 00:18:44,296 (Riding crop slaps) 473 00:18:44,330 --> 00:18:46,798 And I know you would never lie to me. 474 00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:48,166 Of course not. 475 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,869 So when you told me you had handled 476 00:18:50,903 --> 00:18:52,871 the problem in the basement, 477 00:18:52,905 --> 00:18:56,425 I took you at... your... word. (Chuckles) 478 00:18:56,459 --> 00:18:57,742 Still... 479 00:18:57,794 --> 00:19:03,598 I just... can't... shake... the feeling that maybe, 480 00:19:03,633 --> 00:19:05,083 just maybe... 481 00:19:05,101 --> 00:19:06,768 the problem... (Whack) 482 00:19:06,803 --> 00:19:08,637 persists. (Whack) 483 00:19:08,688 --> 00:19:10,421 And if so, 484 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,891 then perhaps it's time to use... 485 00:19:12,925 --> 00:19:14,209 the gas. 486 00:19:14,243 --> 00:19:16,044 "G'die, mate"? 487 00:19:16,079 --> 00:19:18,029 Sheila, no! He won't survive! 488 00:19:18,064 --> 00:19:19,848 (Horn honks) 489 00:19:19,899 --> 00:19:21,433 Sheila: Fred! 490 00:19:21,467 --> 00:19:22,601 Fred? 491 00:19:22,635 --> 00:19:24,153 That my wife you got there? 492 00:19:24,187 --> 00:19:25,604 I'm gonna need her back, 493 00:19:25,638 --> 00:19:27,638 'cause I took an early flight home just to see her. 494 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,691 (Laughs) Hi. 495 00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:33,946 Mm! 496 00:19:33,980 --> 00:19:37,783 Well, don't you look handsome in your riding gear? 497 00:19:37,817 --> 00:19:39,868 I know one pony that needs a ride. 498 00:19:39,919 --> 00:19:40,869 Well... 499 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,539 - get in the house. - Mm. 500 00:19:43,590 --> 00:19:44,823 (Whack) Ya! 501 00:19:44,841 --> 00:19:46,324 What makes a good couple work is... (Laughs) 502 00:19:46,342 --> 00:19:48,510 a complete mystery. 503 00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:50,479 I really like him. 504 00:19:50,530 --> 00:19:53,932 (Sighs) But we just don't make sense on paper. 505 00:19:53,950 --> 00:19:55,450 Well, I'm not sure I'm the one 506 00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,736 to be doling out relationship advice at the moment. 507 00:19:57,770 --> 00:20:00,289 You see, I mistakenly thought your daddy and I 508 00:20:00,323 --> 00:20:02,291 had entered the joint decor stage... 509 00:20:02,325 --> 00:20:03,325 Hey. 510 00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:05,627 Where did you find this? 511 00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:08,046 I found that discarded like a piece of trash 512 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,131 in your trash. 513 00:20:09,165 --> 00:20:10,165 Are you kidding? 514 00:20:10,216 --> 00:20:12,283 George has been looking everywhere for this. 515 00:20:12,302 --> 00:20:14,303 What? Well, then, why, pray tell... (Clatters) 516 00:20:14,337 --> 00:20:15,837 would he throw it away? 517 00:20:15,888 --> 00:20:17,168 It's not trash. It's joint decor. 518 00:20:17,173 --> 00:20:19,341 No, he didn't throw it away, Dallas. I did. 519 00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:22,127 I... I thought it was from outer space. 520 00:20:22,145 --> 00:20:25,097 It's been a really weird day. 521 00:20:25,131 --> 00:20:26,515 (Slurps) 522 00:20:26,566 --> 00:20:30,635 Oh. Oh. So this is all your fault. 523 00:20:30,653 --> 00:20:34,022 (Sighs) That makes me feel so much better. 524 00:20:34,073 --> 00:20:35,641 At least one of us does. 525 00:20:35,755 --> 00:20:39,858 Right. Look, Tessa, I know it isn't easy, 526 00:20:39,892 --> 00:20:42,027 and believe me, there's no odder couple 527 00:20:42,061 --> 00:20:43,462 than me and your dad. 528 00:20:43,496 --> 00:20:45,563 But sometimes there's more to life 529 00:20:45,581 --> 00:20:47,999 than what makes sense on paper. 530 00:20:49,368 --> 00:20:50,502 Thanks, Dallas. 531 00:20:50,536 --> 00:20:51,703 Sure thing. 532 00:20:51,737 --> 00:20:54,206 And sorry I hijacked the earlier part of the conversation 533 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,208 to be about my love life. 534 00:20:56,242 --> 00:21:00,262 But seriously, you think he's super into me, right? 535 00:21:00,296 --> 00:21:02,431 (Sighs) 536 00:21:02,465 --> 00:21:03,682 (Sighs) 537 00:21:03,716 --> 00:21:07,719 Ahh. It feels good to be home. (Chuckles) 538 00:21:07,753 --> 00:21:10,255 (Kisses) 539 00:21:10,273 --> 00:21:12,090 (Switch clicks) (Sighs) 540 00:21:13,693 --> 00:21:15,610 Good night, Sheila. 541 00:21:15,645 --> 00:21:16,611 'Night, Fred. 542 00:21:16,646 --> 00:21:18,179 Oh, and, Fred... 543 00:21:19,306 --> 00:21:21,219 happy junior secretary's day. 544 00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:28,681 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne - - www.addic7ed.com -