1 00:00:02,298 --> 00:00:03,771 [Computer chimes] 2 00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:08,249 _ 3 00:00:11,187 --> 00:00:12,687 Stone & Son Suit Warehouse 4 00:00:12,689 --> 00:00:14,606 recently lost their paper provider. 5 00:00:14,608 --> 00:00:16,691 They're a family-owned business. 6 00:00:16,693 --> 00:00:19,177 [Chuckles] Jim and I used to clean up at those. 7 00:00:19,179 --> 00:00:21,946 We'd go in pretending to be family-- brothers. 8 00:00:21,948 --> 00:00:24,783 We did it at a family-owned law firm, 9 00:00:24,785 --> 00:00:27,185 at a family-owned construction company, 10 00:00:27,187 --> 00:00:29,187 and a family-owned motorcycle store. 11 00:00:29,189 --> 00:00:31,739 Jim and Dwight Shrupert. 12 00:00:31,741 --> 00:00:33,074 - I was the dynamic... - Yeah! 13 00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:35,493 Likeable winner that was doted upon by mom. 14 00:00:35,495 --> 00:00:37,495 Whoo! [Engine revving] 15 00:00:37,497 --> 00:00:39,330 Yeah! 16 00:00:39,332 --> 00:00:42,333 And Jim was the closeted foot fetishist 17 00:00:42,335 --> 00:00:44,736 pretending to belong. 18 00:00:44,738 --> 00:00:46,771 The client never knew any of that. 19 00:00:46,773 --> 00:00:48,823 But I knew. 20 00:00:48,825 --> 00:00:51,593 I hope you've been paying your wig storage bills, Jimbo, 21 00:00:51,595 --> 00:00:53,311 'cause it's time for another episode 22 00:00:53,313 --> 00:00:55,513 of "handsome and stinky, paper brothers for hire." 23 00:00:55,515 --> 00:00:57,765 Sorry, stinky. Can't do it-- too busy. 24 00:00:57,767 --> 00:00:59,934 Oh, God, this again? You're stinky. 25 00:00:59,936 --> 00:01:01,853 Okay. There's no possible way I can get there, 26 00:01:01,855 --> 00:01:03,238 so just ask Phyllis. She can be 27 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:04,989 - your older sister or something. - Phyllis my sister? 28 00:01:04,991 --> 00:01:06,825 More like my dead great-great-grandmother 29 00:01:06,827 --> 00:01:08,359 who died of stupidity. 30 00:01:08,361 --> 00:01:09,994 I have ears, Dwight. 31 00:01:09,996 --> 00:01:13,364 Oh, do you really have ears, Phyllis? 32 00:01:13,366 --> 00:01:15,166 Like all human beings? 33 00:01:15,168 --> 00:01:17,735 We all have ears. 34 00:01:17,737 --> 00:01:19,838 See what you leave me with here, Jim? 35 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,706 Hey, I'm in Philadelphia right now. 36 00:01:21,708 --> 00:01:22,707 How is that my problem? 37 00:01:22,709 --> 00:01:24,292 Get in your car and drive down here. 38 00:01:24,294 --> 00:01:27,011 You can make it in 30 minutes if you drive 240 miles per hour. 39 00:01:27,013 --> 00:01:30,515 Huh. How long would it take me if I drove 300 miles an hour? 40 00:01:30,517 --> 00:01:33,218 Mm. That's a good... 41 00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:35,019 question. 42 00:01:35,021 --> 00:01:37,088 300 times-- [Mouthing] 43 00:01:37,090 --> 00:01:39,924 180-- [Dial tone] 44 00:01:39,926 --> 00:01:42,644 Um... that comes to 25 minutes. 45 00:01:42,646 --> 00:01:45,763 Yes. Oh, well, thank you, Jim. 46 00:01:45,765 --> 00:01:48,766 Yes, I am better than you. Thanks for acknowledging that. 47 00:01:48,768 --> 00:01:51,736 Okay, bye-bye. Love you. 48 00:01:59,444 --> 00:02:01,946 [Cheerful music] 49 00:02:06,808 --> 00:02:08,838 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 50 00:02:11,223 --> 00:02:12,757 Darryl, looking good! 51 00:02:12,759 --> 00:02:14,959 Heading to Philly. Interview with Jim's company. 52 00:02:14,961 --> 00:02:16,261 Hey, good luck. 53 00:02:16,263 --> 00:02:18,513 When you get to Philly, will you tell Jim I miss him? 54 00:02:18,515 --> 00:02:20,181 Why don't you come along and tell him yourself? 55 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,799 Ha ha. That'd be great. 56 00:02:21,801 --> 00:02:23,101 Kinda like ditching school, 57 00:02:23,103 --> 00:02:26,070 except instead of getting suspended, you get... 58 00:02:26,072 --> 00:02:28,690 what do you get? 59 00:02:28,692 --> 00:02:31,776 Oh, my God! Why didn't I think of this? 60 00:02:31,778 --> 00:02:34,145 Andy's not here. [Sighs] 61 00:02:34,147 --> 00:02:36,030 Oh, hey, Erin, 62 00:02:36,032 --> 00:02:37,782 I'm expecting a shipment of pens. 63 00:02:37,784 --> 00:02:39,701 - Can you cover that? - Mm-hmm. Cover that. 64 00:02:39,703 --> 00:02:41,703 What does that mean, exactly? What are we talking here? 65 00:02:41,705 --> 00:02:42,954 Details. 66 00:02:42,956 --> 00:02:45,623 A delivery guy will deliver a box of pens, 67 00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:47,542 and you just make sure everything's in order. 68 00:02:47,544 --> 00:02:49,294 What? Everything? 69 00:02:49,296 --> 00:02:51,179 What-- how do I make sure it's in order? 70 00:02:51,181 --> 00:02:52,830 I-- [Laughs] haven't been trained for this. 71 00:02:52,832 --> 00:02:56,801 [Giggling] Okay, see you later. 72 00:03:06,612 --> 00:03:08,479 Hey, guys. 73 00:03:08,481 --> 00:03:10,148 - Clark. - Hey. 74 00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:12,283 Hey, look who's back. Dwight Junior. 75 00:03:12,285 --> 00:03:14,319 Hey, so how was it? 76 00:03:14,321 --> 00:03:17,238 I mean... the sex with Jan. 77 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,357 A gentleman doesn't discuss such matters. 78 00:03:19,359 --> 00:03:21,576 Especially when the feelings of a lady are involved. 79 00:03:21,578 --> 00:03:23,011 Women reach their sexual peak 80 00:03:23,013 --> 00:03:24,862 at whatever age Jan was last week. 81 00:03:24,864 --> 00:03:29,717 I mean, it was... like making love with a wild animal. 82 00:03:29,719 --> 00:03:32,070 But not like a cougar like you might think. 83 00:03:32,072 --> 00:03:36,224 It was, uh... like a swarm of bees. 84 00:03:36,226 --> 00:03:38,643 Bees that just find something wrong 85 00:03:38,645 --> 00:03:41,312 with every hotel room. 86 00:03:41,314 --> 00:03:42,930 Nothing wrong with being a gentleman. 87 00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:46,351 Like my mom used to say, "talk classy, act nasty." 88 00:03:46,353 --> 00:03:48,186 What's with the wig, Meredith? 89 00:03:48,188 --> 00:03:49,867 What, is it on backwards? 90 00:03:52,392 --> 00:03:54,558 Nope. You got it. You fixed it. 91 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,862 Uh, I have a gift from Jan. 92 00:03:57,864 --> 00:03:59,563 [Gasps] It's an espresso maker. 93 00:03:59,565 --> 00:04:01,449 - Ooh! - We came to be quite fond 94 00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:03,751 of espresso on the Amalfi Coast, so... 95 00:04:03,753 --> 00:04:05,595 bon appetit. 96 00:04:07,007 --> 00:04:09,490 Ooh! 16 types of espresso. 97 00:04:09,492 --> 00:04:10,842 Now, that's Italian. 98 00:04:10,844 --> 00:04:12,043 My friend has one of these. 99 00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:14,128 Fool-proof espresso every time. 100 00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:15,546 Always with the friends, Oscar. 101 00:04:15,548 --> 00:04:18,049 Can't we just enjoy the new espresso machine? 102 00:04:18,051 --> 00:04:19,801 Actually, it's pronounced espresso. 103 00:04:19,803 --> 00:04:21,886 Wait. That's what you said. 104 00:04:21,888 --> 00:04:25,189 I apologize. I just assumed you would mispronounce it. 105 00:04:25,191 --> 00:04:26,712 So... 106 00:04:28,812 --> 00:04:31,195 There he is! Ha ha! 107 00:04:31,197 --> 00:04:32,980 We are all so proud of you 108 00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:34,399 for the small part that you played 109 00:04:34,401 --> 00:04:35,900 in landing the White Pages. 110 00:04:35,902 --> 00:04:38,569 Prouder of me, but... 111 00:04:38,571 --> 00:04:40,154 If you really want to show appreciation, 112 00:04:40,156 --> 00:04:41,489 just give me half the commission. 113 00:04:41,491 --> 00:04:44,792 Gosh, you know, I wish I could but, uh... 114 00:04:44,794 --> 00:04:45,993 no. 115 00:04:45,995 --> 00:04:47,495 Hey, listen, remember how everyone 116 00:04:47,497 --> 00:04:49,997 used to call you Dwight Junior and how much you loved that? 117 00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:51,749 Ha ha ha. I loved it. 118 00:04:51,751 --> 00:04:55,002 How would like to pretend to be my son 119 00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,838 in order to land a sale? 120 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,840 If it'll lead to me being a salesman, 121 00:04:58,842 --> 00:05:00,758 I'll pretend to be your friend. 122 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,895 Then, looks like we have a deal... 123 00:05:03,897 --> 00:05:06,064 son. 124 00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:10,902 Hi, guys. 125 00:05:10,904 --> 00:05:13,020 Hey, look who it is. 126 00:05:13,022 --> 00:05:15,823 Sorry. Super-busy. Pens coming in later. 127 00:05:15,825 --> 00:05:18,359 Just grabbing a java before all hell breaks loose. 128 00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:21,696 - Try this one. - Thank you. 129 00:05:23,315 --> 00:05:25,316 I don't really have time to think about Pete right now. 130 00:05:25,318 --> 00:05:28,286 I just have a lot going on with this whole shipment of pens. 131 00:05:28,288 --> 00:05:29,820 And I have a lot of people trusting me, 132 00:05:29,822 --> 00:05:32,957 and I would feel super-guilty if I broke anyone's trust. 133 00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:34,876 About the pens. 134 00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:36,344 You ready for your interview? 135 00:05:36,346 --> 00:05:38,463 I was born ready! 136 00:05:38,465 --> 00:05:40,381 No. I suck at interviews. 137 00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,683 I had Andy's job in the bag until my interview. 138 00:05:42,685 --> 00:05:44,519 Well, you shouldn't be nervous about this. 139 00:05:44,521 --> 00:05:47,472 This is a tiny start-up with a bunch of guys 140 00:05:47,474 --> 00:05:50,942 - just as dorky as Jim. - Yeah, I guess. 141 00:05:50,944 --> 00:05:54,195 Really, you can't be scared of a room full of Jims. 142 00:05:54,197 --> 00:05:57,865 I love the guy, but he's basically gumby with hair. 143 00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:01,685 [Chuckles] It's kind of funny. 144 00:06:01,687 --> 00:06:03,121 Father and son sales team 145 00:06:03,123 --> 00:06:05,323 meeting with a father and son suit store. 146 00:06:05,325 --> 00:06:08,359 You know, you're right! 147 00:06:08,361 --> 00:06:10,294 We hadn't even thought of that, had we, boy? 148 00:06:10,296 --> 00:06:13,247 No, we sure hadn't, pop. [Both chuckling] 149 00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,750 Oh! You're a hunter, I see. 150 00:06:15,752 --> 00:06:17,969 Spend your early mornings out in the blinds 151 00:06:17,971 --> 00:06:20,304 like Clarky and me? Huh? 152 00:06:20,306 --> 00:06:22,706 He calls me Clarky 'cause he's my dad. 153 00:06:22,708 --> 00:06:23,841 Guilty. 154 00:06:23,843 --> 00:06:26,177 You don't meet many hunters these days. 155 00:06:26,179 --> 00:06:28,095 My dad is the best hunter there is. 156 00:06:28,097 --> 00:06:31,098 I mean, he's like a serial killer... of animals. 157 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,734 One time he snuck up behind a sleeping deer 158 00:06:33,736 --> 00:06:36,487 and just sawed its head right off-- it was sick! 159 00:06:36,489 --> 00:06:38,406 [Imitates saw, blood spurting] 160 00:06:38,408 --> 00:06:39,907 [Strangled cry] 161 00:06:39,909 --> 00:06:41,442 It was his birthday. 162 00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:44,612 - Just turned three, so... - Ah. 163 00:06:44,614 --> 00:06:47,198 You guys, I kinda think I want to try them all. 164 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,399 Is that crazy? 165 00:06:48,401 --> 00:06:50,084 No. Look, without a taste test, 166 00:06:50,086 --> 00:06:51,869 how are we supposed to know which flavors we like 167 00:06:51,871 --> 00:06:53,070 to reorder? 168 00:06:53,072 --> 00:06:55,039 Taste test? I'm in. 169 00:06:55,041 --> 00:06:57,575 ♪ Yolo! ♪ 170 00:06:57,577 --> 00:06:58,960 - What? - Ooh. 171 00:06:58,962 --> 00:07:01,212 It's a thing. It means you only live once. 172 00:07:01,214 --> 00:07:03,848 Yeah, we're aware of what it means, Oscar. 173 00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:06,217 You just do not look cool saying it. 174 00:07:06,219 --> 00:07:08,052 - Well-- - All right, everybody. 175 00:07:08,054 --> 00:07:10,316 - Who's in? - Yep. 176 00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:14,192 Angela. 177 00:07:14,194 --> 00:07:15,560 Don't make us come over there. 178 00:07:15,562 --> 00:07:17,061 No, I don't-- no. 179 00:07:17,063 --> 00:07:19,263 All right, let's go. 180 00:07:19,265 --> 00:07:21,866 Can't I just agree without putting my hand in? 181 00:07:21,868 --> 00:07:23,434 - Absolutely not. - No way. 182 00:07:23,436 --> 00:07:26,404 Oh, fine. 183 00:07:29,541 --> 00:07:30,608 Okay, guys. 184 00:07:30,610 --> 00:07:33,411 We all drink them all. 185 00:07:33,413 --> 00:07:35,546 All: We all drink them all. 186 00:07:35,548 --> 00:07:36,714 - Yes. - Yes. 187 00:07:36,716 --> 00:07:38,583 - Whoo! - Hey. 188 00:07:38,585 --> 00:07:41,452 - Where's my ring? - I'm sure it'll turn up. 189 00:07:43,722 --> 00:07:45,623 Yes, ma'am, you wanna go east on Franklin, 190 00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:47,508 take that all the way to Commonwealth. 191 00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,510 You'll see us on the right side. You can't miss us. 192 00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:51,012 - Whoa. - Yes. 193 00:07:51,014 --> 00:07:52,963 And I want to reach every demographic possible. 194 00:07:52,965 --> 00:07:54,348 No, I hear what you're saying, and we will. 195 00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:56,800 The thing is, we gotta lock down this key demographic first. 196 00:07:56,802 --> 00:07:58,402 The rest will come. I promise. 197 00:07:58,404 --> 00:07:59,687 Just give me a couple weeks, all right? 198 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:01,105 We're talking weeks here, not months, right? 199 00:08:01,107 --> 00:08:02,323 Weeks. Always weeks. 200 00:08:02,325 --> 00:08:04,442 Man, the last time I talked months was, like... 201 00:08:04,444 --> 00:08:07,078 - a million weeks ago. - All right. Good. 202 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,980 Thanks, Dennis, appreciate it. Hey! 203 00:08:09,982 --> 00:08:12,450 - How are you? - Good. 204 00:08:12,452 --> 00:08:14,335 - What are you doing here? - I just wanted to see you. 205 00:08:14,337 --> 00:08:15,920 - That's so great! - Damn. 206 00:08:15,922 --> 00:08:18,822 Jim, you got a real Facebook energy going on here, man. 207 00:08:18,824 --> 00:08:20,675 You Zuckerberged this place out. 208 00:08:20,677 --> 00:08:22,993 It's pretty great, right? I mean, we're coming along-- 209 00:08:22,995 --> 00:08:26,464 hey, Wade, we gotta just push up Dennis's timeline. 210 00:08:26,466 --> 00:08:28,332 - Okay. - Actually, you know what? 211 00:08:28,334 --> 00:08:30,334 Give me one second, okay? Make yourselves at home. 212 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:35,106 But I think that all of your concerns will be answered 213 00:08:35,108 --> 00:08:37,608 when you see the brochure that Clark's getting out of my car. 214 00:08:37,610 --> 00:08:39,810 He's a good boy. Does whatever I say. 215 00:08:39,812 --> 00:08:42,346 [Sighs] I can't relate to that. 216 00:08:42,348 --> 00:08:43,864 My son hates my guts. 217 00:08:43,866 --> 00:08:45,950 Oh? Really? 218 00:08:45,952 --> 00:08:48,286 Bring him into the business, and he resents me. 219 00:08:48,288 --> 00:08:50,288 How do you like that? 220 00:08:50,290 --> 00:08:52,406 Well, things between me and Clark are good, 221 00:08:52,408 --> 00:08:53,741 not great. 222 00:08:53,743 --> 00:08:57,695 In fact, I will say that they're not even good. 223 00:08:57,697 --> 00:09:00,715 Really, they're bad. Like you and your son. 224 00:09:00,717 --> 00:09:02,800 Here you go, pop. 225 00:09:02,802 --> 00:09:04,835 I know it was just a couple minutes, but... 226 00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:07,555 - God, I missed you. - What took you so long? 227 00:09:07,557 --> 00:09:09,507 Were you loitering out there like a Hooligan, 228 00:09:09,509 --> 00:09:11,926 smoking a doobie? 229 00:09:11,928 --> 00:09:15,479 I sure was. Just like he taught me. 230 00:09:15,481 --> 00:09:19,650 - Looking cool. - You're being disrespectful! 231 00:09:19,652 --> 00:09:22,886 And I love you... for saying that. 232 00:09:24,222 --> 00:09:26,890 We don't get along. 233 00:09:26,892 --> 00:09:29,026 Ha ha! 234 00:09:29,028 --> 00:09:30,394 I just burned him. 235 00:09:30,396 --> 00:09:32,229 Because the truth is... 236 00:09:32,231 --> 00:09:35,399 our relationship is... 237 00:09:35,401 --> 00:09:36,834 - Ter-- terrible. - Terrible. 238 00:09:36,836 --> 00:09:38,619 Yes. Genius. 239 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:41,205 Stupid, stupid genius! 240 00:09:45,824 --> 00:09:48,826 Wow! This place is... so great. 241 00:09:48,828 --> 00:09:51,245 I had no idea-- on the phone, you made it sound kind of dinky. 242 00:09:51,247 --> 00:09:53,381 Well, I mean, I don't even have the paycheck yet. 243 00:09:53,383 --> 00:09:54,666 It is a start-up, so... 244 00:09:54,668 --> 00:09:56,167 These things go down all the time. 245 00:09:56,169 --> 00:09:59,387 If this company's going down, I wanna go down on it. 246 00:09:59,389 --> 00:10:00,805 With it. I wanna go down with it. 247 00:10:00,807 --> 00:10:02,173 Are you cool to just hang out? 248 00:10:02,175 --> 00:10:03,641 - Sure, no problem. - Yeah? 249 00:10:03,643 --> 00:10:05,009 - You ready? - Yeah. 250 00:10:05,011 --> 00:10:08,212 Let's do it. 251 00:10:21,276 --> 00:10:23,294 The pen delivery went amazing, 252 00:10:23,296 --> 00:10:25,563 and now I've got all these pens just waiting to be unpacked. 253 00:10:25,565 --> 00:10:27,415 But Pam did not tell me to unpack the pens, 254 00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:28,916 and I'm not one of those people who's just like, "uh, sure, 255 00:10:28,918 --> 00:10:30,401 I'll accept the pens when they come in," 256 00:10:30,403 --> 00:10:31,703 and then as soon as your back's turned, 257 00:10:31,705 --> 00:10:33,338 I unpack the pens and get all this credit 258 00:10:33,340 --> 00:10:35,256 and some great pen unpacker. 259 00:10:35,258 --> 00:10:37,675 On the other hand... they are just sitting here. 260 00:10:37,677 --> 00:10:40,795 Pam didn't tell me not to unpack them. 261 00:10:40,797 --> 00:10:43,014 Don't wanna be a busybody, but I don't wanna be a lazybones. 262 00:10:43,016 --> 00:10:44,749 Busybody, lazybones. Busybody, lazybones. 263 00:10:44,751 --> 00:10:47,101 Aah! My brain is ping-ponging around in my head right now. 264 00:10:47,103 --> 00:10:48,386 It's insane. 265 00:10:48,388 --> 00:10:50,838 I'm sorry. What was your question again? 266 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,690 Oh, yeah. 267 00:10:52,692 --> 00:10:54,692 No. I've never had an espresso before. 268 00:10:54,694 --> 00:10:56,978 They're good, though. 269 00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:58,980 A-bam! 270 00:10:58,982 --> 00:11:01,733 My favorite is Viennese Amaretto. 271 00:11:01,735 --> 00:11:03,818 And the worst flavor I've tried so far 272 00:11:03,820 --> 00:11:06,070 is Alpine Select! 273 00:11:06,072 --> 00:11:07,438 Yes! 274 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,873 [Giggles] 275 00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:09,907 - Ah! - One! 276 00:11:09,909 --> 00:11:11,292 - Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! - Two! 277 00:11:11,294 --> 00:11:12,460 - Stop it! - Three! 278 00:11:12,462 --> 00:11:13,494 - That's enough, Kevin. - Stop it, Kevin! 279 00:11:13,496 --> 00:11:14,495 - Four! - That's enough. 280 00:11:14,497 --> 00:11:15,963 So for your menswear catalogue, 281 00:11:15,965 --> 00:11:18,383 I think we can offer you some very competitive pricing. 282 00:11:18,385 --> 00:11:20,168 - I heard that before. - Well, I understand, but-- 283 00:11:20,170 --> 00:11:21,969 - I bet you have. He knows nothing 284 00:11:21,971 --> 00:11:24,222 about what people have heard before, my son. 285 00:11:24,224 --> 00:11:26,557 Here we go again, another lecture from the old man. 286 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:28,342 Listen to him. He created you. 287 00:11:28,344 --> 00:11:31,062 Maybe if you listened a little bit, you'd improve. 288 00:11:31,064 --> 00:11:32,680 No wonder women despise you. 289 00:11:32,682 --> 00:11:34,766 Women don't despise me. 290 00:11:34,768 --> 00:11:36,434 His last girlfriend was a transvestite. 291 00:11:36,436 --> 00:11:37,602 I knew it right away. 292 00:11:37,604 --> 00:11:39,987 Adam's apple like the prow of a ship. 293 00:11:39,989 --> 00:11:42,023 Thumbs like a lowland gorilla. 294 00:11:42,025 --> 00:11:44,776 Ha. But this one couldn't see it or didn't wanna see it. 295 00:11:44,778 --> 00:11:46,327 All right, that's enough, 296 00:11:46,329 --> 00:11:47,862 'cause I can say some things about him too. 297 00:11:47,864 --> 00:11:49,330 - Yeah, like what? - Like the time 298 00:11:49,332 --> 00:11:52,316 that you got drunk and-- and then... 299 00:11:52,318 --> 00:11:53,951 killed those kids on their way to prom. 300 00:11:53,953 --> 00:11:55,837 That never happened. He's always been a liar. 301 00:11:55,839 --> 00:11:57,288 Ever since he was a little kid 302 00:11:57,290 --> 00:11:58,840 and he got caught "saving treats" 303 00:11:58,842 --> 00:12:00,775 from the kitty litter box. 304 00:12:00,777 --> 00:12:02,043 Really shameful. 305 00:12:02,045 --> 00:12:04,161 So we can offer you matte or glossy printing-- 306 00:12:04,163 --> 00:12:06,097 Glistening brown morsels 307 00:12:06,099 --> 00:12:08,599 tumbling from every pouch in his trousers. 308 00:12:08,601 --> 00:12:11,168 There's obviously a volume discount if you-- 309 00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:13,221 Following the cat around on his knees 310 00:12:13,223 --> 00:12:15,473 with his hands cupped beneath its tail, 311 00:12:15,475 --> 00:12:18,443 going, "Please, kitty, may I have some more?" 312 00:12:18,445 --> 00:12:20,144 You can't make this stuff up! 313 00:12:20,146 --> 00:12:22,363 No, I think someone could make it up. 314 00:12:22,365 --> 00:12:24,398 Someone with very few friends. 315 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,734 Hey, fellas, sorry to keep you waiting. 316 00:12:26,736 --> 00:12:28,453 There he is. My son. 317 00:12:28,455 --> 00:12:32,490 [Scoffs] Got cat turd collector written all over him. 318 00:12:33,826 --> 00:12:36,878 Did you say cat turd collector? 319 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,830 So definitely looking to expand our market, 320 00:12:38,832 --> 00:12:40,631 but for now we're just concentrating on athletes 321 00:12:40,633 --> 00:12:42,416 that are popular here in the Northeast. 322 00:12:42,418 --> 00:12:44,051 Of course, that's not a mandate. 323 00:12:44,053 --> 00:12:48,205 "Mandate"-- always think of two men on a date. 324 00:12:53,095 --> 00:12:55,930 I have gay friends. I have one gay friend. 325 00:12:55,932 --> 00:12:58,232 - Oscar. - Mm-hmm. 326 00:12:58,234 --> 00:13:00,184 All right, so what makes you think 327 00:13:00,186 --> 00:13:02,887 you'd be a good fit here? 328 00:13:07,359 --> 00:13:10,828 Okay. Um... 329 00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:13,831 all right. 330 00:13:13,833 --> 00:13:15,616 Obviously, y'all look really busy, 331 00:13:15,618 --> 00:13:17,502 and I don't want to waste your time anymore. 332 00:13:17,504 --> 00:13:20,588 Sorry, I just, uh... 333 00:13:20,590 --> 00:13:23,424 obviously, I'm not qualified to be here, man, I'm... 334 00:13:23,426 --> 00:13:25,960 I'm a warehouse manager, you know... 335 00:13:25,962 --> 00:13:29,013 Darryl, I was a newspaper editor. 336 00:13:29,015 --> 00:13:31,382 Science teacher. Volleyball coach. 337 00:13:31,384 --> 00:13:33,684 I work at a home shopping network. 338 00:13:33,686 --> 00:13:35,019 I'm a lawyer. 339 00:13:35,021 --> 00:13:37,138 I'm the only one here who can honestly help. 340 00:13:37,140 --> 00:13:40,141 And as you know, I was a paper salesman. 341 00:13:40,143 --> 00:13:43,427 Hey, I find it helps if you just picture everybody naked. 342 00:13:43,429 --> 00:13:45,646 [Laughter] 343 00:13:45,648 --> 00:13:47,615 Cool. 344 00:13:47,617 --> 00:13:50,735 Hey, thanks. 345 00:13:50,737 --> 00:13:53,237 So how about we start over, hmm? 346 00:13:53,239 --> 00:13:55,606 Darryl, do you have any thoughts on the company? 347 00:13:55,608 --> 00:13:58,793 Yes, as a matter of fact, I, uh... 348 00:13:58,795 --> 00:14:01,128 - I wrote some down. - Oh. 349 00:14:01,130 --> 00:14:05,499 There you go. 350 00:14:05,501 --> 00:14:08,386 Wow, this guy came prepared. It impresses me! 351 00:14:08,388 --> 00:14:09,971 [Laughter] 352 00:14:12,107 --> 00:14:15,576 Ah. So this is what 2:00 PM looks like around here. 353 00:14:19,097 --> 00:14:22,400 I usually take a siesta about now. 354 00:14:25,854 --> 00:14:28,138 Stocking pens, huh? 355 00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:29,807 You're like the new office administrator. 356 00:14:29,809 --> 00:14:31,692 No. I just took over the pen shipment 357 00:14:31,694 --> 00:14:33,110 because Pam had to leave. 358 00:14:33,112 --> 00:14:35,029 When I say it out loud, I know that sounds insane, 359 00:14:35,031 --> 00:14:36,414 but it's the truth, I swear. 360 00:14:36,416 --> 00:14:38,983 Pam! Pam, look out! 361 00:14:38,985 --> 00:14:41,252 - Erin's gunning for your job! - No, I'm not. 362 00:14:41,254 --> 00:14:43,320 [Imitating gunfire] It's not like that at all. 363 00:14:43,322 --> 00:14:45,923 - Forget it. I'm so sorry. - Pam, look out! 364 00:14:45,925 --> 00:14:48,092 Pens, you did not buy into this. 365 00:14:48,094 --> 00:14:51,178 I am sorry. What a day you've had. 366 00:14:53,048 --> 00:14:55,383 By the way, Jim talks about you all the time. 367 00:14:55,385 --> 00:14:57,501 That's sweet that he talks about me. 368 00:14:57,503 --> 00:14:58,552 It's too bad he still has to work part-time 369 00:14:58,554 --> 00:14:59,570 in Scranton though. 370 00:14:59,572 --> 00:15:01,171 Well, that's funny, 371 00:15:01,173 --> 00:15:04,341 'cause I think of him as working part-time in Philadelphia. 372 00:15:04,343 --> 00:15:06,575 We can't wait until you move here. 373 00:15:08,982 --> 00:15:11,782 I'm sorry-- you guys are here to sell us paper? 374 00:15:11,784 --> 00:15:13,317 Do you mind? The men are talking. 375 00:15:13,319 --> 00:15:15,352 Sons used to idolize their fathers. 376 00:15:15,354 --> 00:15:17,187 Us old-timers need to stick together. 377 00:15:17,189 --> 00:15:20,658 And how better than by signing a contract? 378 00:15:20,660 --> 00:15:21,959 I'd love to. 379 00:15:21,961 --> 00:15:24,595 Sam Junior here, he runs the business now. 380 00:15:24,597 --> 00:15:26,330 Kinda pushed me out, truth be told. 381 00:15:26,332 --> 00:15:29,166 I'm just here for human contact. 382 00:15:29,168 --> 00:15:31,335 Okay, pop. 383 00:15:31,337 --> 00:15:33,938 Wait. So you're the boss? 384 00:15:33,940 --> 00:15:35,339 That's right. 385 00:15:35,341 --> 00:15:38,342 - Hi. I'm Clark. - Hey. 386 00:15:38,344 --> 00:15:40,011 - Let's talk. - Okay. 387 00:15:40,013 --> 00:15:42,513 So if you look at our catalog here... 388 00:15:42,515 --> 00:15:44,715 Well, thanks for coming down, Darryl. 389 00:15:44,717 --> 00:15:46,100 It was nice meeting you, Darryl. 390 00:15:46,102 --> 00:15:47,318 I think you'd fit in great here. 391 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,103 Yeah. Yeah, me too. 392 00:15:49,105 --> 00:15:50,387 I think it'd be like... [Laughs] 393 00:15:50,389 --> 00:15:51,889 you know what? 394 00:15:51,891 --> 00:15:54,942 I think it'd be like a Kevin Durant jump shot-- 395 00:15:54,944 --> 00:15:58,562 perfecto! 396 00:16:11,409 --> 00:16:12,593 Oh, my God. 397 00:16:15,068 --> 00:16:16,868 They are the ones 398 00:16:16,869 --> 00:16:18,952 put a fish tank next to a basketball hoop. 399 00:16:18,954 --> 00:16:20,254 It's like if I put a glass of milk 400 00:16:20,256 --> 00:16:22,322 on the edge of the table and Cece knocks it over, 401 00:16:22,324 --> 00:16:23,790 I don't blame Cece. 402 00:16:23,792 --> 00:16:26,960 So I'm like a three-year-old girl in this scenario. 403 00:16:26,962 --> 00:16:28,762 Say they don't hire you. 404 00:16:28,764 --> 00:16:30,764 It's not like you're out on the street. 405 00:16:30,766 --> 00:16:32,999 You have a great job with people who love you. 406 00:16:33,001 --> 00:16:35,502 And I'd only get to see Jada on the weekends. 407 00:16:35,504 --> 00:16:37,437 You know, I'm... I'm not so sure 408 00:16:37,439 --> 00:16:40,057 I'd like living in Philadelphia. 409 00:16:40,059 --> 00:16:42,693 Right? Thank you! It's just Philly. 410 00:16:42,695 --> 00:16:45,395 Everyone's acting like it's New York or Paris or London. 411 00:16:45,397 --> 00:16:47,564 - Who needs it? - Not us. 412 00:16:47,566 --> 00:16:49,650 [Footsteps] 413 00:16:49,652 --> 00:16:52,502 Okay. So the consensus was 414 00:16:52,504 --> 00:16:54,371 that that was unique. 415 00:16:54,373 --> 00:16:56,340 They're gonna make you pay for the fish, 416 00:16:56,342 --> 00:16:57,641 and... 417 00:16:57,643 --> 00:17:00,694 they wanted to know when you can start. 418 00:17:00,696 --> 00:17:02,696 What? 419 00:17:02,698 --> 00:17:04,965 How 'bout yesterday? 420 00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:07,033 [Both laughing] 421 00:17:07,035 --> 00:17:09,369 - Congratulations. - Oh, thank you. 422 00:17:09,371 --> 00:17:11,588 I guess you gotta move to Philly after all. 423 00:17:11,590 --> 00:17:13,039 Yes, I love Philly! 424 00:17:13,041 --> 00:17:14,675 Two-one-five or die! 425 00:17:14,677 --> 00:17:16,710 [Laughing] 426 00:17:16,712 --> 00:17:18,178 No, I'm not upset. 427 00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:21,214 I'm really excited for Darryl. 428 00:17:22,684 --> 00:17:24,268 Maybe I'm a little disappointed 429 00:17:24,270 --> 00:17:27,487 that we'll be losing him. 430 00:17:29,524 --> 00:17:31,775 It feels really hot in here. Is it hot in here? 431 00:17:31,777 --> 00:17:33,393 It feels really, really hot in here. 432 00:17:33,395 --> 00:17:35,612 It's insane! They need to have the AC on year-round! 433 00:17:35,614 --> 00:17:37,197 January too! 434 00:17:37,199 --> 00:17:38,582 [Thudding] 435 00:17:38,584 --> 00:17:42,068 I don't get the point of this stupid window! 436 00:17:43,404 --> 00:17:45,071 I mean, look, you and I both know 437 00:17:45,073 --> 00:17:47,691 that in paper or fashion, styles change. 438 00:17:47,693 --> 00:17:49,676 Check out my dad's suit. 439 00:17:49,678 --> 00:17:51,762 You are looking at pure acrylic. 440 00:17:51,764 --> 00:17:53,714 That's why his face always breaks out. 441 00:17:53,716 --> 00:17:56,583 Does that suit come with a fire extinguisher? 442 00:17:56,585 --> 00:17:58,251 [Chuckling] Ha ha ha. 443 00:17:58,253 --> 00:17:59,353 You know what, dad? 444 00:17:59,355 --> 00:18:01,221 Maybe you should buy me a suit. 445 00:18:01,223 --> 00:18:03,056 I mean, I'm gonna need one, right, 446 00:18:03,058 --> 00:18:04,641 if I'm ever gonna get a "real" job 447 00:18:04,643 --> 00:18:07,694 and move "my lazy ass" out of your "GD house." 448 00:18:07,696 --> 00:18:10,364 He's got ya there. 449 00:18:10,366 --> 00:18:12,432 That's Italian silk. Very comfortable. 450 00:18:12,434 --> 00:18:14,868 Very tasteful... although expensive. 451 00:18:14,870 --> 00:18:17,537 Yeah, you don't want Italian. You'll look like a mafia don. 452 00:18:17,539 --> 00:18:20,240 Next thing you know, you'll be doing life in Rikers Island. 453 00:18:20,242 --> 00:18:22,492 Well, that's better than looking like the undertaker 454 00:18:22,494 --> 00:18:25,078 - from boring island. - That place doesn't exist. 455 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,830 It's not a documented island. 456 00:18:26,832 --> 00:18:29,866 Cartograph much? 457 00:18:31,586 --> 00:18:33,286 [Whistles] 458 00:18:33,288 --> 00:18:35,555 How do I look? 459 00:18:35,557 --> 00:18:38,625 Actually... you look great. 460 00:18:38,627 --> 00:18:39,793 They steered you right. 461 00:18:39,795 --> 00:18:41,311 I guess it does make sense 462 00:18:41,313 --> 00:18:43,563 buying from a father-son team. 463 00:18:43,565 --> 00:18:44,898 You know what? 464 00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:46,850 I'll take one too. 465 00:18:46,852 --> 00:18:48,802 Everyone, now that we have all this energy, 466 00:18:48,804 --> 00:18:50,637 why don't we move the copier into the annex 467 00:18:50,639 --> 00:18:52,105 like we've always wanted to? 468 00:18:52,107 --> 00:18:54,358 - Whoo! - Frickin' A! 469 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,109 So long, noise! 470 00:18:56,111 --> 00:18:57,911 One, two, three! 471 00:18:57,913 --> 00:18:59,363 [Rip] Oh! 472 00:18:59,365 --> 00:19:00,647 And we have torn up the carpet. 473 00:19:00,649 --> 00:19:02,866 Oh, we're gonna be in so much trouble! 474 00:19:02,868 --> 00:19:04,751 Wait! 475 00:19:04,753 --> 00:19:06,920 It's beautiful. 476 00:19:06,922 --> 00:19:08,205 Hardwood. 477 00:19:08,207 --> 00:19:10,123 I always knew it was down here. 478 00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:12,826 I just never dreamed that I would actually see it. 479 00:19:12,828 --> 00:19:14,544 Tear up the carpet! 480 00:19:14,546 --> 00:19:15,962 Whoo! 481 00:19:15,964 --> 00:19:18,998 Kill their fish, and they still hire me. 482 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,384 That's how you do that, baby. 483 00:19:20,386 --> 00:19:21,501 [Sighs] 484 00:19:21,503 --> 00:19:23,303 It's all good. I'm ready. 485 00:19:23,305 --> 00:19:25,355 Y'all ready for this? 486 00:19:25,357 --> 00:19:27,340 ♪ Uh uh-uh-uh ♪ 487 00:19:27,342 --> 00:19:29,276 ♪ uh uh-uh-uh ♪ 488 00:19:29,278 --> 00:19:31,511 ♪ uh uh-uh-uh ♪ 489 00:19:33,815 --> 00:19:35,949 ♪ Everybody dance now ♪ 490 00:19:35,951 --> 00:19:38,118 Yeah! ♪ uh uh-uh-uh ♪ 491 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,520 ♪ uh uh-uh-uh ♪ 492 00:19:40,522 --> 00:19:42,456 Kevin, move. I can't pull up the rug 493 00:19:42,458 --> 00:19:44,875 if you're standing on it with your rhinoceros feet. 494 00:19:44,877 --> 00:19:46,376 Well, I can't stand here 495 00:19:46,378 --> 00:19:48,695 if you pull the carpet out from under me. 496 00:19:48,697 --> 00:19:51,131 Oh, my head is killing me. 497 00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:52,866 Does anyone have a baby Aspirin? 498 00:19:52,868 --> 00:19:54,534 Oh, enough with the whining already. 499 00:19:54,536 --> 00:19:55,802 Why don't you just have some more coffee? 500 00:19:55,804 --> 00:19:57,003 It's all gone. 501 00:19:57,005 --> 00:19:59,005 I didn't get a chance to try them all 502 00:19:59,007 --> 00:20:01,725 because creed poured my Bogota Sunrise in the plant. 503 00:20:01,727 --> 00:20:03,060 I saw the leaves twitch. 504 00:20:03,062 --> 00:20:05,228 - Shut up. - You shut up! 505 00:20:05,230 --> 00:20:07,180 Everybody shut up and work. 506 00:20:07,182 --> 00:20:08,682 - We don't work for you. - Yeah. 507 00:20:08,684 --> 00:20:09,983 - Yeah. - Hey. 508 00:20:09,985 --> 00:20:12,185 It's 5:00. 509 00:20:12,187 --> 00:20:15,655 [Horns honking] 510 00:20:15,657 --> 00:20:19,225 - Kevin, can-- - What is going on? 511 00:20:19,227 --> 00:20:23,897 [Horns honking] 512 00:20:23,899 --> 00:20:25,866 Yes! We did it! 513 00:20:25,868 --> 00:20:27,400 You opened the door. 514 00:20:27,402 --> 00:20:31,588 And you closed it. The boys are back in town. 515 00:20:31,590 --> 00:20:33,707 High fives! Ha ha! 516 00:20:33,709 --> 00:20:38,261 Hey, so all that really specific cat turd business-- 517 00:20:38,263 --> 00:20:39,596 that was about you, right? 518 00:20:39,598 --> 00:20:42,582 You got me! 519 00:20:42,584 --> 00:20:45,218 - I used to collect 'em. - Why? 520 00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:48,355 Each one is very different, like a snowflake. 521 00:21:05,479 --> 00:21:07,646 Hey. What happened here? 522 00:21:07,648 --> 00:21:09,598 You left me in charge of the pens, Pam. 523 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,383 That's what happened. The pens happened. 524 00:21:16,584 --> 00:21:18,385 Are the pens here? 525 00:21:21,383 --> 00:21:25,510 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com