1 00:00:00,727 --> 00:00:01,681 In high school, 2 00:00:01,681 --> 00:00:03,684 there's practically no limit to the number of things 3 00:00:03,715 --> 00:00:06,496 you can try your hand at. In a surprise move, 4 00:00:06,531 --> 00:00:10,495 I had recently signed up for liking Ryan Shay. 5 00:00:10,615 --> 00:00:12,536 A year ago, I would've looked over there and thought, 6 00:00:12,552 --> 00:00:14,452 "what a bunch of dumb jocks." 7 00:00:14,671 --> 00:00:16,994 And now I look over there and think... 8 00:00:17,213 --> 00:00:18,230 "Hey, Ryan." 9 00:00:18,433 --> 00:00:20,036 I think this whole adoption thing 10 00:00:20,060 --> 00:00:21,577 has really helped humanize him, 11 00:00:21,593 --> 00:00:23,994 you know, like when we found out about Dave Thomas. 12 00:00:24,533 --> 00:00:27,513 Suddenly his frozen dairy dessert tasted bittersweet. 13 00:00:27,888 --> 00:00:29,421 Good day, Miss Altman. 14 00:00:29,570 --> 00:00:31,121 Keeping it tight, I presume? 15 00:00:31,556 --> 00:00:33,026 What's wrong with you? 16 00:00:33,058 --> 00:00:34,301 I didn't know if people at school 17 00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:36,126 were supposed to know about us or not. 18 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:37,160 Know what? 19 00:00:37,178 --> 00:00:40,190 About our love and how tender it is. 20 00:00:40,542 --> 00:00:42,896 Don't be weird. I don't care. 21 00:00:44,194 --> 00:00:45,907 You hear that, Chatswin? 22 00:00:45,907 --> 00:00:47,072 She doesn't care! 23 00:00:47,119 --> 00:00:48,699 Tessa and I aren't embarrassed 24 00:00:48,819 --> 00:00:50,943 to express how tender our love is. 25 00:00:51,201 --> 00:00:52,812 It's extremely tender! 26 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,500 Yeah! 27 00:00:57,582 --> 00:01:00,391 Congratulations, Tessa. 28 00:01:00,532 --> 00:01:01,807 I had no idea things 29 00:01:01,783 --> 00:01:03,267 were so tender between the two of you. 30 00:01:03,318 --> 00:01:04,919 No one in their wildest dreams 31 00:01:04,935 --> 00:01:06,656 expected you to snag a football player. 32 00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:08,603 It would be like that runner with no legs 33 00:01:08,619 --> 00:01:09,541 winning the Olympics. 34 00:01:09,565 --> 00:01:10,378 Thanks. 35 00:01:10,394 --> 00:01:13,154 Listen, you're a football girlfriend now. 36 00:01:13,350 --> 00:01:16,079 And we're going to look past your negativity and smugness 37 00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:19,184 and embrace you, because that's what football girlfriends do. 38 00:01:19,598 --> 00:01:21,600 You can shadow me till you get the hang of it. 39 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:23,360 Don't worry. You're in good hands. 40 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:24,440 Amber's trained some 41 00:01:24,448 --> 00:01:26,481 of the best football girlfriends in the field. 42 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,131 You should put that on your college application. 43 00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:29,710 Why would I go to college? 44 00:01:30,406 --> 00:01:31,704 I've already met my future husband. 45 00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:34,332 From now on, before signing up for things, 46 00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:36,123 I should remember to read the fine print. 47 00:01:36,146 --> 00:01:39,564 Look at that fine print and look at the D.P.I., George. 48 00:01:39,579 --> 00:01:40,807 Just look at it! 49 00:01:40,841 --> 00:01:42,692 This printer is the best thing that's ever happened to me, 50 00:01:42,726 --> 00:01:44,522 and I met Garry Shandling. 51 00:01:44,569 --> 00:01:47,947 With this printer, I can finally print people's dreams come true. 52 00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:50,324 But this isn't my dream, right? 53 00:01:50,340 --> 00:01:51,716 Don't be silly. You're a monarch. 54 00:01:51,748 --> 00:01:54,118 See how lush and saturated you look, George? 55 00:01:54,141 --> 00:01:56,050 Even Yakult said you look saturated. 56 00:01:56,073 --> 00:01:58,624 Yes. Okay. Thank you, Dallas, this is very sweet. 57 00:01:58,658 --> 00:02:01,126 - I appreciate it. - Should we start cutting the tabs? 58 00:02:01,118 --> 00:02:02,369 I have to go meet Noah. 59 00:02:04,147 --> 00:02:05,639 - George? - Huh? 60 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:06,859 What is that? 61 00:02:06,928 --> 00:02:09,019 Oh. That's just some files and stuff. 62 00:02:09,139 --> 00:02:10,301 They don't look like files. 63 00:02:10,301 --> 00:02:12,641 They look like more of my flyers. 64 00:02:13,085 --> 00:02:15,169 Yeah, that... that... that's what I said. 65 00:02:15,289 --> 00:02:16,502 File-ers. 66 00:02:16,622 --> 00:02:18,478 Sometimes my Southern accent comes out 67 00:02:18,485 --> 00:02:20,368 from my semester in Charleston. 68 00:02:21,056 --> 00:02:23,446 Honey child. Oh. 69 00:02:23,508 --> 00:02:25,774 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 70 00:02:33,563 --> 00:02:36,248 I wanted to have an open mind about the football girlfriends. 71 00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:38,367 They just made it so damn hard. 72 00:02:38,487 --> 00:02:39,618 This is where we bake 73 00:02:39,606 --> 00:02:40,989 the treats for the goody bags 74 00:02:41,001 --> 00:02:43,260 that we give to our boyfriends on game day. 75 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:44,787 We don't do it for the thank-yous 76 00:02:44,787 --> 00:02:46,651 because they don't say thank you. 77 00:02:46,771 --> 00:02:48,835 We do it because it's tons of fun. 78 00:02:51,619 --> 00:02:54,234 So this is where we do our boyfriends' homework 79 00:02:54,266 --> 00:02:56,293 so they can focus on practice. 80 00:02:56,568 --> 00:02:58,958 So we do this for the thank-yous? 81 00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:01,335 Tessa, no. There are no thank-yous. 82 00:03:01,404 --> 00:03:04,601 We do this because it helps our guys to concentrate on victory, 83 00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:06,428 and over time, their victories will start 84 00:03:06,441 --> 00:03:08,267 to feel like your victories. 85 00:03:08,387 --> 00:03:10,939 And that's it's own reward. You'll see. 86 00:03:15,056 --> 00:03:18,034 And this is the pep rally nerve center. 87 00:03:18,728 --> 00:03:20,011 Wow. 88 00:03:20,131 --> 00:03:21,851 Looks like... 89 00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:23,252 a sweatshop. 90 00:03:23,427 --> 00:03:24,947 We call it the devotion pit. 91 00:03:24,985 --> 00:03:26,899 It's where we make the T-shirts, banners, 92 00:03:26,918 --> 00:03:29,496 and miscellaneous sundries that express our love, 93 00:03:29,502 --> 00:03:31,392 loyalty, and allegiance. 94 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,513 So you girls are basically mindless servants 95 00:03:33,519 --> 00:03:35,752 struggling to uphold outdated gender roles? 96 00:03:36,121 --> 00:03:37,442 Now you got it. 97 00:03:37,698 --> 00:03:38,975 And the longer you serve, 98 00:03:39,006 --> 00:03:40,933 the louder you cheer. You'll see. 99 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,100 It's Derek. 100 00:03:44,487 --> 00:03:47,772 Let's go, Derek! Way to dial that phone, baby! 101 00:03:47,892 --> 00:03:49,449 Good phone answer, Joan. 102 00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:50,162 Thanks. 103 00:03:50,388 --> 00:03:52,027 No. 104 00:03:52,052 --> 00:03:53,278 Derek may have been into it, 105 00:03:53,285 --> 00:03:55,494 but some people find relentless cheer-leading... 106 00:03:55,506 --> 00:03:57,771 Stifling. You know, to... to me, 107 00:03:57,809 --> 00:03:59,817 each one of those flyers might as well say, 108 00:03:59,829 --> 00:04:01,656 "I judge you, George Altman. 109 00:04:01,644 --> 00:04:04,047 I judge you for not being successful enough." 110 00:04:04,167 --> 00:04:06,118 Dallas is judge-y. She is. 111 00:04:06,137 --> 00:04:08,721 When she met me, I was not a skylight king. 112 00:04:08,746 --> 00:04:10,973 Look, if you're the skylight king, 113 00:04:11,093 --> 00:04:13,063 then she's the queen. 114 00:04:13,183 --> 00:04:14,828 All right, and that, my friends, is what they all want. 115 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,362 They want status. They... they want stability. 116 00:04:17,362 --> 00:04:18,069 They do. 117 00:04:18,131 --> 00:04:20,221 Why do you think I became a dentist? 118 00:04:20,446 --> 00:04:21,860 I could've been anything. 119 00:04:21,878 --> 00:04:23,568 Have you ever seen me on the uneven bars? 120 00:04:23,593 --> 00:04:26,140 He's like an eagle with arms. 121 00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:27,291 And two legs. 122 00:04:27,691 --> 00:04:29,442 And a monkey's face. He's like a monkey. 123 00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:32,558 It doesn't seem fair that they can thrust these roles upon us. 124 00:04:32,589 --> 00:04:36,461 Forcing us to build miniature cities in our basements. 125 00:04:37,949 --> 00:04:39,659 I'm building a miniature city in my basement. 126 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,204 - It's actually pretty cool. - Okay. 127 00:04:41,235 --> 00:04:42,324 Forget skylights. 128 00:04:42,368 --> 00:04:45,027 If you could start any business right now, what would it be? 129 00:04:46,428 --> 00:04:48,843 I'd be in the business of rocking. 130 00:04:48,894 --> 00:04:50,426 Ooh! Bad boy. 131 00:04:50,546 --> 00:04:52,078 I was in a dad band a few years ago. 132 00:04:52,103 --> 00:04:53,867 I played the bass guitar. 133 00:04:54,232 --> 00:04:56,157 Slapped her silly. Named her Rhoda. 134 00:04:56,668 --> 00:04:58,121 I'm a big fan of that TV show. 135 00:04:58,403 --> 00:05:01,080 Loved it. Never missed an episode. 136 00:05:01,112 --> 00:05:04,234 Guys, we're dads... dads who rock. 137 00:05:04,278 --> 00:05:05,698 Why is it 138 00:05:06,086 --> 00:05:07,825 we are not rocking out together? 139 00:05:07,857 --> 00:05:09,846 - I don't know. - That's a good question! 140 00:05:09,865 --> 00:05:13,265 Then what say ye? Dads, shall we redefine who we are 141 00:05:13,256 --> 00:05:15,064 and define who it is we want to be? 142 00:05:15,102 --> 00:05:18,068 Yea, verily, shall we do something 143 00:05:18,086 --> 00:05:20,784 that our partners can't control or dictate? 144 00:05:20,815 --> 00:05:24,431 Shall we call our band "Sheila's Pets"? 145 00:05:24,646 --> 00:05:26,371 No, Fred. No, we shall not. 146 00:05:26,384 --> 00:05:28,004 That is a terrible name. 147 00:05:28,124 --> 00:05:29,293 Oh. 148 00:05:36,201 --> 00:05:38,246 So how are you and the football girls getting along? 149 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:39,785 Great. 150 00:05:39,905 --> 00:05:41,262 I knew you'd hit it off. 151 00:05:41,588 --> 00:05:43,859 Amber's had a really interesting journey. 152 00:05:44,947 --> 00:05:48,714 She always wanted to date Renaldo, our tight end, 153 00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:51,047 but she used to be fat. 154 00:05:51,423 --> 00:05:53,894 Then she lost a ton of weight... 155 00:05:56,318 --> 00:05:58,236 and then they hooked up. 156 00:05:59,438 --> 00:06:01,470 No. Yeah, that's really interesting. 157 00:06:01,474 --> 00:06:04,709 Yeah, it is interesting. It's interesting and it's inspiring. 158 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,025 Really inspiring. 159 00:06:07,044 --> 00:06:09,709 Yeah, she's got a great story. 160 00:06:09,941 --> 00:06:12,437 Oh. Ah, that reminds me, I'm supposed to give Renaldo 161 00:06:12,557 --> 00:06:14,145 a noogie at 12:45. 162 00:06:14,151 --> 00:06:15,677 I better go. Shoot. 163 00:06:15,797 --> 00:06:16,622 Bye. 164 00:06:16,615 --> 00:06:18,156 Bye-bye. Bye. 165 00:06:19,072 --> 00:06:21,439 So wait. Did you actually think that girl's story 166 00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:22,897 - was interesting? - Nope. 167 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,512 Right. So why aren't you being honest with Ryan? 168 00:06:25,546 --> 00:06:27,277 Okay, you know how sometimes I can... 169 00:06:27,277 --> 00:06:30,149 be a little negative or... smug? 170 00:06:30,150 --> 00:06:31,807 - Preachy at times. - Right. 171 00:06:31,835 --> 00:06:33,803 - Soapbox-y. - Okay, Lisa. Yep. 172 00:06:33,815 --> 00:06:37,373 I'm... I'm trying not to do that. 173 00:06:37,407 --> 00:06:39,289 I'm just trying to be supportive. 174 00:06:39,308 --> 00:06:40,576 Interesting. 175 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:44,095 Well, I guess conformity's a small price to pay 176 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:47,774 if you want to date a big, beefy football player. 177 00:06:48,037 --> 00:06:50,601 So what, football's a better sport than lacrosse? 178 00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,003 Yes, Malik. 179 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,986 Ignore him. 180 00:06:54,106 --> 00:06:56,551 Maybe this is what it means to be dating Ryan, right? 181 00:06:56,544 --> 00:06:57,577 You know, some people's physiques 182 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:58,891 lend themselves more to lacrosse, 183 00:06:58,922 --> 00:07:00,942 which... which is a lot harder than it looks. 184 00:07:00,986 --> 00:07:02,926 You are embarrassing yourself, Malik. 185 00:07:02,951 --> 00:07:05,441 No, you are. Fawning over football players? 186 00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:07,243 I'd like to see one of them make a fast break 187 00:07:07,243 --> 00:07:08,488 while maintaining his cradle. 188 00:07:08,513 --> 00:07:11,334 Nobody knows what you're talking about, Malik. 189 00:07:12,885 --> 00:07:14,237 Do you want to go sit... 190 00:07:14,230 --> 00:07:17,090 No. No. Eat your food. Don't cause a scene. 191 00:07:17,210 --> 00:07:19,323 Okay, so tonight we're working 192 00:07:19,348 --> 00:07:20,411 on the giant paper banner 193 00:07:20,411 --> 00:07:22,301 that the team will run through at the pep rally. 194 00:07:22,421 --> 00:07:24,647 Typically, we work with puffy pens and glitter, 195 00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:26,624 but if you want to try something else... 196 00:07:27,249 --> 00:07:28,831 Don't. It's best if you just stick 197 00:07:28,856 --> 00:07:30,339 with the puffy pens and glitter. 198 00:07:30,364 --> 00:07:31,309 Okay. 199 00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:33,349 I love your enthusiasm, Tessa. 200 00:07:35,274 --> 00:07:37,228 All right. You got this? 201 00:07:37,296 --> 00:07:40,218 I've played my fair share of "rock band." 202 00:07:40,338 --> 00:07:42,777 I'm talking four stars for "Black Hole Sun" 203 00:07:42,789 --> 00:07:45,198 on "Expert," brosef. 204 00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:50,285 All right, not bad. 205 00:07:53,332 --> 00:07:54,984 Getting funky now. 206 00:07:55,009 --> 00:07:57,643 Funky? I'm gonna funking funk the funk out of Rhoda tonight. 207 00:07:57,663 --> 00:07:59,301 Rhoda's a filthy lady. 208 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,792 This is pretty sweet, guys. Pretty sweet. 209 00:08:02,792 --> 00:08:05,427 I have to say, it felt good to finally tell Sheila 210 00:08:05,489 --> 00:08:07,722 I found a deer tick and had to run to urgent care. 211 00:08:07,785 --> 00:08:10,325 Okay, I... I hereby declare the first rehearsal 212 00:08:10,375 --> 00:08:12,158 of Full-On Fatherly Assault 213 00:08:12,165 --> 00:08:15,256 or Fathers of Mass Destrocktion 214 00:08:15,404 --> 00:08:16,388 in session! 215 00:08:16,439 --> 00:08:17,984 Yo! 216 00:08:18,104 --> 00:08:20,840 I see. So Sheila's Pets isn't even on the ballot. 217 00:08:20,874 --> 00:08:22,608 No, and... and since we're talking about it, 218 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:25,478 I'm also vetoing the "Chickity China" song from the set list. 219 00:08:25,497 --> 00:08:27,706 - What?! - Yeah, that's not the name of the song, 220 00:08:27,713 --> 00:08:28,983 and no one wants to sing it. 221 00:08:29,103 --> 00:08:31,279 Nobody wants to sing about Chinese chicken? 222 00:08:31,323 --> 00:08:33,150 - I don't. - N... neither of us do. 223 00:08:33,206 --> 00:08:35,384 ♪ Chickity China, the Chinese chicken ♪ 224 00:08:35,504 --> 00:08:37,568 Yes, I'm familiar with it. Still a no. 225 00:08:38,124 --> 00:08:41,265 Sit down. Let's do this. Here we go. 226 00:08:45,313 --> 00:08:46,777 - Is that a frog? - What? 227 00:08:46,796 --> 00:08:48,823 Are you... are you drawing a frog on the banner? 228 00:08:48,870 --> 00:08:49,999 You're not... you're not supposed to. 229 00:08:50,018 --> 00:08:51,413 Oh. I... 230 00:08:51,533 --> 00:08:52,909 just... 231 00:08:52,971 --> 00:08:54,911 know how to draw them, so... 232 00:08:54,942 --> 00:08:56,588 Yeah. I would... I would just stick to the letters, 233 00:08:56,632 --> 00:08:58,009 because if we draw pictures, 234 00:08:58,052 --> 00:09:00,210 the players will stop and look at 'em instead of... 235 00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:02,775 Destroying the artwork we spent all night making? 236 00:09:03,050 --> 00:09:05,027 You seem a little bit on edge. 237 00:09:05,687 --> 00:09:07,124 If you snip the tip, you can catch a buzz. 238 00:09:07,122 --> 00:09:08,722 Makes the night go faster. 239 00:09:09,044 --> 00:09:13,677 Yeah. I know another way to make the night go by faster. 240 00:09:13,711 --> 00:09:16,240 Know what it's called? Going home! 241 00:09:17,436 --> 00:09:19,299 Tessa. 242 00:09:19,474 --> 00:09:21,201 Keep your voice down. 243 00:09:21,251 --> 00:09:22,972 What's that? Oh, you think 244 00:09:22,984 --> 00:09:25,293 it's dumb we can't draw frogs? I agree! 245 00:09:25,293 --> 00:09:27,126 I... I never... I... I never said that. 246 00:09:27,139 --> 00:09:29,560 Come on! I'm sure there's all sorts of things you girls 247 00:09:29,547 --> 00:09:31,393 wish you could do, but you can't, because you're here. 248 00:09:31,431 --> 00:09:33,489 You know what's better than being here? 249 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,053 There's nothing better. She's drunk. 250 00:09:35,044 --> 00:09:36,323 I smell alcohol on her breath. 251 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,895 Well, it's called... 252 00:09:47,286 --> 00:09:49,238 Going home. 253 00:09:49,870 --> 00:09:52,853 I didn't want to get on a soapbox, but I am on one. 254 00:09:52,973 --> 00:09:57,202 Girls, your needs are just as important as a football player's. 255 00:09:57,258 --> 00:09:59,317 Look at Stephanie here. She's hungry. 256 00:09:59,573 --> 00:10:01,356 She wants to go out for a slice. 257 00:10:01,387 --> 00:10:02,751 How did she know that? 258 00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:03,696 And you. 259 00:10:03,965 --> 00:10:05,254 What's your name? 260 00:10:05,291 --> 00:10:06,818 I'm Derek's girlfriend. 261 00:10:06,938 --> 00:10:08,871 What is your name, child? 262 00:10:08,991 --> 00:10:12,036 I... want to say... Joan. 263 00:10:12,105 --> 00:10:13,613 I bet you do. 264 00:10:13,657 --> 00:10:15,515 You look like a Joan. 265 00:10:15,635 --> 00:10:17,955 And what about that girl over there 266 00:10:17,962 --> 00:10:20,095 with the bloody Jersey wrapped around her hand? 267 00:10:20,151 --> 00:10:22,234 Shouldn't she be seen by a doctor? 268 00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:23,698 Sean says it's in my head. 269 00:10:23,745 --> 00:10:25,406 It's not in your head. 270 00:10:25,387 --> 00:10:27,333 You are bleeding from your hand. 271 00:10:27,708 --> 00:10:29,572 She should be in urgent care, 272 00:10:29,578 --> 00:10:32,644 and we should all be at home watching TV. 273 00:10:32,637 --> 00:10:35,378 It is 9:30 on a Wednesday night, 274 00:10:35,397 --> 00:10:37,261 and there has gotta be something good on. 275 00:10:37,317 --> 00:10:38,856 I'm going home to watch it. 276 00:10:38,976 --> 00:10:40,777 Who's with me? 277 00:10:49,643 --> 00:10:53,928 ♪ Day after day I'm more confused ♪ 278 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:59,358 ♪ and I look for the light through the pouring rain ♪ 279 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:05,997 ♪ you know that's a game that I hate to lose ♪ 280 00:11:08,337 --> 00:11:10,739 ♪ and I'm feeling the strain 281 00:11:11,327 --> 00:11:13,229 ♪ yeah, ain't it a shame? Oh ♪ 282 00:11:13,555 --> 00:11:17,134 ♪ give me the beat, boys, and free my soul ♪ 283 00:11:17,159 --> 00:11:20,031 ♪ I want to get lost in your rock 'n' roll ♪ 284 00:11:20,084 --> 00:11:22,836 ♪ and drift away 285 00:11:25,256 --> 00:11:26,757 ♪ oh 286 00:11:26,791 --> 00:11:29,526 ♪ give me the beat, boys, and free my soul ♪ 287 00:11:29,544 --> 00:11:32,496 ♪ I want to get lost in Fred's rock 'n' roll ♪ 288 00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:34,229 ♪ and drift away 289 00:11:34,349 --> 00:11:36,949 Oh! Drift away, Freddie! 290 00:11:36,936 --> 00:11:38,250 Drift away! 291 00:11:38,302 --> 00:11:39,353 Yeah! 292 00:11:39,387 --> 00:11:41,986 What in blue blazes are you doing? 293 00:11:42,054 --> 00:11:43,725 - Uh, Sheila... - Your filthy noise is 294 00:11:43,719 --> 00:11:45,464 polluting the entire neighborhood, 295 00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:47,191 particularly the lead vocals. 296 00:11:47,234 --> 00:11:49,305 You're pitchy, George, very pitchy. 297 00:11:49,324 --> 00:11:50,431 But the base was good, right? 298 00:11:50,444 --> 00:11:51,958 - I'm pitchy? - Yeah. 299 00:11:51,952 --> 00:11:54,209 Okay. I'd like to see you do better. 300 00:11:55,552 --> 00:11:57,286 Okay. 301 00:11:58,922 --> 00:12:01,193 "Barracuda." Hit it. 302 00:12:08,226 --> 00:12:10,052 ♪ So this ain't the end 303 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:11,585 ♪ I saw you again 304 00:12:12,381 --> 00:12:13,719 ♪ today 305 00:12:13,770 --> 00:12:16,238 ♪ I had to turn my heart away 306 00:12:19,544 --> 00:12:21,327 ♪ smiled like the sun 307 00:12:21,447 --> 00:12:24,944 ♪ kisses for everyone 308 00:12:25,601 --> 00:12:29,835 ♪ and tales, it never fails 309 00:12:29,870 --> 00:12:33,539 ♪ you lying so low in the weeds ♪ 310 00:12:33,590 --> 00:12:36,759 ♪ I bet you gonna ambush me 311 00:12:36,793 --> 00:12:39,495 ♪ you'd have me down, down, down ♪ 312 00:12:39,513 --> 00:12:42,298 ♪ down on my knees 313 00:12:42,332 --> 00:12:46,268 ♪ now wouldn't you, barracuda? 314 00:12:46,303 --> 00:12:48,521 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh 315 00:12:59,005 --> 00:13:00,469 So... 316 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:01,876 Sheila's Pets? 317 00:13:01,933 --> 00:13:02,959 No, man. 318 00:13:03,079 --> 00:13:04,879 Th... this is a dad band. 319 00:13:04,999 --> 00:13:07,720 But Sheila is undeniable. You saw her. 320 00:13:07,726 --> 00:13:08,827 Guys... 321 00:13:09,071 --> 00:13:11,361 I have been in a lot of bands in my life... 322 00:13:11,398 --> 00:13:13,663 high school punk bands, college alt bands, 323 00:13:13,657 --> 00:13:15,396 I was briefly a member of Five for Fighting 324 00:13:15,459 --> 00:13:18,471 before they got big... and I have never in my life, 325 00:13:18,591 --> 00:13:22,291 felt the kind of spark... I did tonight. 326 00:13:22,328 --> 00:13:23,142 What are you saying? 327 00:13:23,199 --> 00:13:25,347 I'm saying I think we should let Sheila in the band. 328 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:28,148 Oh. Get a hold of yourself, man! 329 00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:29,918 Guys, we could be good! 330 00:13:30,150 --> 00:13:32,152 Do you understand what that means? We could be good, 331 00:13:32,177 --> 00:13:35,105 not dad-band good, but real-band good. 332 00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:38,428 Look, I joined Fathers of Mass Destrocktion... 333 00:13:38,472 --> 00:13:40,436 or I was also thinking Meinvater Band... 334 00:13:40,449 --> 00:13:41,588 because... 335 00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,420 we stood for something. 336 00:13:43,420 --> 00:13:46,029 We stood for not hanging out with our wives 337 00:13:46,073 --> 00:13:47,225 and taking back the night. 338 00:13:47,237 --> 00:13:49,027 What about the hanging out, George? 339 00:13:49,358 --> 00:13:50,829 What about the chips and dip? 340 00:13:50,842 --> 00:13:52,049 Guys, I'm sorry. 341 00:13:52,462 --> 00:13:54,189 I think considering I'm the lead singer 342 00:13:54,207 --> 00:13:56,585 and the guitarist, and I started this band, 343 00:13:56,829 --> 00:13:58,988 I gotta make the call on this one. 344 00:14:00,390 --> 00:14:02,508 I have to do what's best for Sheila's pets. 345 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:05,920 Well... 346 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,646 then you do it alone. 347 00:14:07,709 --> 00:14:09,467 My friend, 348 00:14:09,535 --> 00:14:11,133 you do it alone. 349 00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:12,434 Come on, Fred. 350 00:14:16,505 --> 00:14:19,158 Our garage wasn't the only place spirits were down. 351 00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:20,371 And finally, 352 00:14:20,410 --> 00:14:24,313 the quarterback that I would pay a dollar for... 353 00:14:24,433 --> 00:14:25,958 the one, the only, 354 00:14:25,989 --> 00:14:30,212 Ryan "The Body" Shay! 355 00:14:43,626 --> 00:14:45,159 Come on, Chatswin. 356 00:14:45,279 --> 00:14:48,336 Where's your spirit?! 357 00:14:49,988 --> 00:14:51,173 What the hell? 358 00:14:52,193 --> 00:14:53,974 Where's all the football girlfriends?! 359 00:14:53,955 --> 00:14:55,862 Whoo! 360 00:14:56,314 --> 00:14:58,732 There is very little pep at this rally. 361 00:14:58,766 --> 00:15:01,376 I might've had one of my soapbox incidents. 362 00:15:01,852 --> 00:15:05,161 Yeah, I kinda liberated the girls from their servitude 363 00:15:05,161 --> 00:15:07,445 and unintentionally empowered them. 364 00:15:08,227 --> 00:15:10,393 Mm. Ryan's gonna kill you. 365 00:15:10,428 --> 00:15:12,612 Who did this?! 366 00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:13,713 Huh?! 367 00:15:13,748 --> 00:15:15,404 Show yourself! 368 00:15:15,429 --> 00:15:17,093 It's okay. Get up, boys! 369 00:15:17,093 --> 00:15:18,413 We can win still! 370 00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:19,909 We can win. 371 00:15:19,928 --> 00:15:21,880 While I had dashed Ryan's dreams of glory, 372 00:15:21,918 --> 00:15:23,858 - George had hired some session musicians... - Yeah! 373 00:15:23,883 --> 00:15:26,607 - And was making his own dreams come true... - * I want candy 374 00:15:26,608 --> 00:15:27,622 with Sheila. 375 00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:31,314 ♪ hey, I want candy 376 00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:33,650 Hoo! 377 00:15:34,819 --> 00:15:37,147 Put some stank on it, George. Come on! 378 00:15:38,291 --> 00:15:40,617 Whoo! Whoo! 379 00:15:42,403 --> 00:15:44,485 All right, let's take five. Let's take five. 380 00:15:45,042 --> 00:15:47,119 Sounds great, guys. 381 00:15:47,239 --> 00:15:49,740 I know rocking's a thirsty business, so I... 382 00:15:50,378 --> 00:15:52,330 Oh! Oh, Sheila. 383 00:15:52,506 --> 00:15:53,801 We don't take requests. 384 00:15:54,264 --> 00:15:58,036 No. I just thought George's band was a daddy-only thing. 385 00:15:58,932 --> 00:16:00,345 Isn't that what you told me, daddy? 386 00:16:00,465 --> 00:16:03,248 Well, you know what? It was, uh, but then... 387 00:16:03,473 --> 00:16:05,275 - The thing is, uh... - George? 388 00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,021 Yeah? Tell your piece to hit it. 389 00:16:07,278 --> 00:16:09,844 Sorry. We have a no-Yoko policy. 390 00:16:09,842 --> 00:16:11,812 Okay. 391 00:16:15,153 --> 00:16:15,967 Hey. 392 00:16:15,987 --> 00:16:17,603 We lost the game. 393 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:19,696 I'm sorry. 394 00:16:19,816 --> 00:16:22,874 No one even got to run through a paper banner made of paper. 395 00:16:23,299 --> 00:16:24,511 I know. 396 00:16:25,057 --> 00:16:27,914 That's everyone's favorite part of football, Tessa. 397 00:16:28,648 --> 00:16:30,975 That's why half of us started playing in the first place. 398 00:16:30,988 --> 00:16:33,803 I mean, how can we beat a team that got to run through paper 399 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:34,911 when we haven't had the advantage 400 00:16:34,899 --> 00:16:36,425 of running through paper ourselves? 401 00:16:36,607 --> 00:16:39,334 Is it possible you're putting too much importance 402 00:16:39,328 --> 00:16:40,904 on running through paper? 403 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,263 Is it possible that you're crazy? 404 00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:47,055 Look, Ryan, those girls making your banners... 405 00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:49,376 they're out there pursuing their own interests. 406 00:16:49,407 --> 00:16:50,977 They're eating pizza 407 00:16:50,984 --> 00:16:53,304 and becoming well-rounded people. 408 00:16:53,424 --> 00:16:54,706 Their sole purpose in life 409 00:16:54,737 --> 00:16:56,914 cannot be to worship their boyfriends. 410 00:16:58,440 --> 00:16:59,698 You did this? 411 00:16:59,967 --> 00:17:02,995 I didn't mean to dismantle the system, but yeah, I did. 412 00:17:03,115 --> 00:17:06,880 And I'm really sorry if you're upset. 413 00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:09,095 I should've known you didn't really want 414 00:17:09,136 --> 00:17:10,890 to fit in with my friends. 415 00:17:11,522 --> 00:17:14,669 You always have to shake it up. 416 00:17:14,789 --> 00:17:16,245 You always have to make 417 00:17:16,365 --> 00:17:18,945 people... think. 418 00:17:18,979 --> 00:17:21,178 I am a thinker, Ryan. I think. 419 00:17:21,298 --> 00:17:23,259 I thought you liked that about me. 420 00:17:23,322 --> 00:17:25,787 Think again, thinker. 421 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,504 Think again. 422 00:17:38,694 --> 00:17:40,934 Dallas, let me explain, please. 423 00:17:40,947 --> 00:17:42,060 There's nothing to explain. 424 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,544 You started your little band with your little friends 425 00:17:44,557 --> 00:17:47,096 so you could avoid doing fun printing jobs with me. 426 00:17:47,122 --> 00:17:51,602 Look, Dallas, now I... I know you want me to be rich and powerful 427 00:17:51,608 --> 00:17:54,474 and to grow my business into some huge empire, 428 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,865 but part of me is unwilling to admit that I am this... 429 00:17:56,890 --> 00:18:00,178 and... and not this. 430 00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:01,479 A toilet? 431 00:18:02,572 --> 00:18:04,123 Oh, that was supposed to be "Rolling Stone." 432 00:18:04,142 --> 00:18:05,216 But you know what I mean. 433 00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:07,538 George, I will support you whether you want to be 434 00:18:07,557 --> 00:18:09,904 the skylight king or the King of Leon. 435 00:18:09,939 --> 00:18:11,356 Whoever the hell he is. 436 00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:13,232 Really? Because 437 00:18:13,276 --> 00:18:15,421 you were coming at me so hard with those flyers. 438 00:18:15,446 --> 00:18:16,894 It... it kind of felt like... 439 00:18:16,912 --> 00:18:18,324 Like you were trying to change me. 440 00:18:18,349 --> 00:18:21,032 I spent $7,000 on a printer, George. 441 00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:22,960 $7,000. 442 00:18:22,942 --> 00:18:25,120 I sure as hell better use it. 443 00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:26,371 Look, 444 00:18:26,952 --> 00:18:29,730 sometimes when a woman spends too much money 445 00:18:29,736 --> 00:18:31,757 on something she really doesn't need, 446 00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:33,915 she tries to cram it down everyone else's throats 447 00:18:33,902 --> 00:18:35,380 to justify the purchase. 448 00:18:35,585 --> 00:18:37,299 Surely you can understand that. 449 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:38,683 Well, I'm sorry, Dallas. 450 00:18:38,803 --> 00:18:41,141 I... I guess I was being a little defensive 451 00:18:41,173 --> 00:18:43,575 because Steven was such... 452 00:18:43,588 --> 00:18:46,885 An absolute skid mark on the pristine panties of my soul? 453 00:18:47,704 --> 00:18:50,063 No matter how much money that man had, 454 00:18:50,112 --> 00:18:52,071 it wasn't enough to keep me. 455 00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:55,917 I'm glad to hear you say that. 456 00:18:55,951 --> 00:18:57,736 Hey. You know what? 457 00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,142 Our band does need some flyers. 458 00:19:00,154 --> 00:19:02,888 Now do you know anyone that has a $7,000 printer who could help? 459 00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:04,108 You know I do. 460 00:19:05,328 --> 00:19:06,711 Okay. 461 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,547 What's the name of your band? 462 00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:11,027 Uh... 463 00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:20,705 Interception. 464 00:19:20,924 --> 00:19:22,169 Funny. 465 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,312 Thanks. 466 00:19:25,681 --> 00:19:27,332 I'm really sorry... 467 00:19:28,664 --> 00:19:29,597 about yesterday. 468 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,803 It's possible that I overreacted a little bit. 469 00:19:32,349 --> 00:19:33,938 But you made me think. 470 00:19:33,972 --> 00:19:37,067 I didn't want to, but you made me, like you always do, 471 00:19:37,079 --> 00:19:39,027 and I think... 472 00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,246 that everyone needs to be cheered for, 473 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,914 not just us guys. 474 00:19:44,819 --> 00:19:47,502 So... bros? 475 00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,090 What's this? 476 00:19:52,446 --> 00:19:55,427 I want you to see how good it feels to run through paper. 477 00:19:56,024 --> 00:19:57,820 I don't want to run through paper. 478 00:19:57,870 --> 00:19:59,964 I did your thing. Now you're gonna try mine. 479 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,682 I want you to know how good it feels 480 00:20:02,694 --> 00:20:04,202 to have someone rooting for you. 481 00:20:06,389 --> 00:20:07,856 Okay. Fine. 482 00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:15,469 Three, two, one! 483 00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:18,900 Go! 484 00:20:20,989 --> 00:20:24,591 I had to admit, it was pretty exhilarating... 485 00:20:25,667 --> 00:20:28,460 and... a little embarrassing. 486 00:20:29,346 --> 00:20:32,074 Whoo! Crush those numbers, Tessa! 487 00:20:32,136 --> 00:20:34,132 Destroy that math! 488 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,633 Yeah! 489 00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:39,218 Are all the parks clothing-optional? 490 00:20:39,244 --> 00:20:41,985 Yeah, but I haven't been able to find any nude figurines 491 00:20:41,997 --> 00:20:43,004 at that scale, so... 492 00:20:43,124 --> 00:20:44,725 Okay. 493 00:20:44,756 --> 00:20:46,020 Hmm. 494 00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:48,272 "Chinese Chicken." 495 00:20:48,504 --> 00:20:49,898 And, you, 496 00:20:49,932 --> 00:20:52,145 you get to name the band whatever you want. 497 00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:54,402 I don't know, George. 498 00:20:54,437 --> 00:20:56,119 I think it's kind of ruined now. 499 00:20:56,239 --> 00:20:57,971 Yeah. And if you love Sheila so much, 500 00:20:57,983 --> 00:20:59,407 why don't you marry her? 501 00:20:59,442 --> 00:21:00,575 Please don't. 502 00:21:00,609 --> 00:21:02,410 Look, you have every right to be upset with me, 503 00:21:02,445 --> 00:21:04,510 but it's... it's been... 504 00:21:05,414 --> 00:21:08,032 ♪ One week since you looked at me ♪ 505 00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:12,268 ♪ cocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry" ♪ 506 00:21:15,157 --> 00:21:17,054 ♪ Five days since you laughed at me ♪ 507 00:21:17,059 --> 00:21:19,094 ♪ chickity China the Chinese chicken ♪ 508 00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:20,728 No, Fred. No. No, it's too soon. 509 00:21:20,763 --> 00:21:21,744 It's never too soon. 510 00:21:21,759 --> 00:21:23,530 ♪ Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes, 511 00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:24,562 ♪ big like leann rimes 512 00:21:24,581 --> 00:21:26,107 ♪ because I'm all about value ♪ 513 00:21:26,145 --> 00:21:27,765 ♪ bert kaempfert's got the mad hits ♪ 514 00:21:27,784 --> 00:21:28,847 ♪ you try to match wits ♪ 515 00:21:28,866 --> 00:21:30,380 ♪ you try to hold me but I bust through ♪ 516 00:21:30,399 --> 00:21:31,581 ♪ gonna make a break and take a fake ♪ 517 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:32,545 ♪ I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake ♪ 518 00:21:32,570 --> 00:21:33,564 ♪ I like vanilla, it's the finest ♪ 519 00:21:33,577 --> 00:21:35,360 ♪ of the flavors. 520 00:21:40,669 --> 00:21:48,452 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -