1
00:00:00,803 --> 00:00:05,516
[Tires screeching]
2
00:00:05,641 --> 00:00:07,685
[Rap music]
3
00:00:07,810 --> 00:00:09,520
♪ Show me yours ♪
4
00:00:09,645 --> 00:00:11,254
♪ That's right, the time has come ♪
5
00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,096
♪ To hunt the red and blue dragons ♪
6
00:00:13,262 --> 00:00:15,092
♪ And they on the run ♪
7
00:00:15,217 --> 00:00:17,094
♪ This ain't a game, dragon ♪
8
00:00:17,219 --> 00:00:18,796
♪ Please don't take the chance ♪
9
00:00:18,921 --> 00:00:20,812
♪ I got a lance in my pants ♪
10
00:00:20,978 --> 00:00:22,981
♪ I'm a legend like Bagger Vance ♪
11
00:00:23,147 --> 00:00:25,569
♪ Please believe the folklore ♪
12
00:00:25,694 --> 00:00:26,904
♪ I'ma choke your neck ♪
13
00:00:27,029 --> 00:00:29,321
♪ I slay dragons for riches ♪
14
00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:31,174
- Oh!
- Jeez.
15
00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:32,491
- Oh, my bad, dude.
- Sorry, Tez.
16
00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:34,451
That was a direct hit.
That's my fault.
17
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:37,079
I figured your big-ass nose
would've deflected it.
18
00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,957
You would think, but
you hit me in the eye, bitch!
19
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:41,833
Oh, we were just trying
to roll up on Waymond, really.
20
00:00:41,999 --> 00:00:43,418
Dammit, Waymond!
21
00:00:43,584 --> 00:00:46,672
Now you must pay.
22
00:00:47,916 --> 00:00:49,383
Man, something's jammed in this.
23
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:50,394
- Wait, no, no!
- D'oh!
24
00:00:50,519 --> 00:00:52,260
- Whoa.
- God, you're a stupid mother...
25
00:00:55,471 --> 00:00:59,893
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
26
00:01:04,438 --> 00:01:05,857
Yo! That's point blank, man.
27
00:01:06,023 --> 00:01:07,150
Are you guys crazy?
28
00:01:07,316 --> 00:01:08,860
- Kneecaps only.
- No, no! Ow!
29
00:01:09,026 --> 00:01:10,921
- Oh!
- Oh, that broke skin.
30
00:01:11,046 --> 00:01:14,658
Oh, don't slip on this sale,
because it is really a heater.
31
00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:16,201
- Uh, how are ya?
- Give me the guns.
32
00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:17,452
- [Inaudible]
- Sold.
33
00:01:17,618 --> 00:01:18,495
Now!
34
00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:20,925
All right,
but they're for protection.
35
00:01:21,050 --> 00:01:22,461
You know,
it's getting dark out there.
36
00:01:22,586 --> 00:01:23,375
- I don't care, okay?
- I'm gonna take the clip.
37
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,629
You are at work in an office.
38
00:01:25,754 --> 00:01:27,671
- Act like it.
- This is bullcrap.
39
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,800
We brought those guns
to work fair and square.
40
00:01:30,089 --> 00:01:32,926
You're, like, the meanest,
most uncaring boss ever.
41
00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:35,305
Oh, Blake,
I'm so sorry I disappointed you.
42
00:01:35,430 --> 00:01:36,930
Get back to work.
43
00:01:37,096 --> 00:01:39,224
Jillian, come on.
Let's do this video chat.
44
00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:41,679
Well, 2012 was great for us.
45
00:01:41,804 --> 00:01:44,715
So I know working
with Telamericorp again in 2013
46
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,316
is the right move.
47
00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:47,918
Well, that is wonderful.
48
00:01:48,043 --> 00:01:49,484
That's exactly what
we wanted to hear, Bridget.
49
00:01:49,650 --> 00:01:51,254
And I gotta say, it is so wonderful
50
00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:53,290
working with a fellow animal lover.
51
00:01:53,415 --> 00:01:55,092
Right back at ya, Alice.
52
00:01:55,217 --> 00:01:57,034
I'll have this contract
emailed to you this week.
53
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,285
That's great.
54
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,162
Beautiful birds by the way.
55
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:01,498
Oh, well, thank you.
56
00:02:01,623 --> 00:02:04,267
Yeah, this one right here,
African Grey.
57
00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:07,002
Wonder of the sky, I always say.
58
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,205
I do too!
59
00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:09,539
All right, you take care, Bridget.
60
00:02:09,664 --> 00:02:10,874
Bye.
61
00:02:10,999 --> 00:02:12,309
Ugh, get these goddamn things
off of me!
62
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:13,592
All right, okay.
63
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:14,745
- [Yelling]
- Okay.
64
00:02:14,870 --> 00:02:16,013
- Jillian!
- All right, I know.
65
00:02:16,138 --> 00:02:16,845
- Jillian!
- I know.
66
00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,221
- Get it...
- Got him.
67
00:02:18,387 --> 00:02:19,024
Ugh!
68
00:02:19,149 --> 00:02:21,683
Earth Pets of West Covina,
such a respectable company.
69
00:02:21,849 --> 00:02:23,787
Shut up and gimme some skin.
70
00:02:23,912 --> 00:02:24,811
- Ow.
- Ooh!
71
00:02:25,247 --> 00:02:26,855
Ah, I am so good.
And you know what?
72
00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:30,984
I am so getting that raise
and bonus vacay days, girl.
73
00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:33,363
Now why don't you take
these little shit makers
74
00:02:33,488 --> 00:02:35,265
back to the store, okay?
75
00:02:35,390 --> 00:02:38,168
What...
Alice, I hand-picked them.
76
00:02:38,293 --> 00:02:39,970
I've told them my secrets.
They're my best friends.
77
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:44,041
I think you can handle it.
And I want receipts.
78
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,977
Hello, nerds.
I need you to fill these out.
79
00:02:47,102 --> 00:02:48,085
[Sighs]
Oh, my gosh.
80
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:49,212
Now we have to fill stuff out?
81
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:50,914
You are the meanest person ever.
82
00:02:51,039 --> 00:02:52,983
It'll take ten seconds.
83
00:02:53,108 --> 00:02:55,300
Just circle all fives
and don't leave any comments.
84
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:56,259
Hang on.
85
00:02:56,425 --> 00:02:58,470
This is an evaluation of you?
86
00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,858
"Very good" is a five,
"very bad" is a one.
87
00:03:00,983 --> 00:03:02,516
Interesting.
88
00:03:02,985 --> 00:03:06,664
And a boss who takes away
my work guns is very bad,
89
00:03:06,789 --> 00:03:09,723
like a man who touches kids
near their buttholes.
90
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,316
That's bad.
91
00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:12,602
Oh, that smells exactly
like one, doesn't it?
92
00:03:12,727 --> 00:03:14,538
- What?
- Does mine smell like a one?
93
00:03:14,663 --> 00:03:16,339
- Oh, yeah, they're all ones.
- Does yours smell like a one?
94
00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:21,244
How about, if you give me all fives,
95
00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:22,577
I'll give you your guns back?
96
00:03:22,743 --> 00:03:24,148
- Yes!
- Oh, okay.
97
00:03:24,273 --> 00:03:25,622
Nice!
98
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:28,041
And a free day
to do whatever we want.
99
00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:29,626
All fives.
100
00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:31,055
- Yes!
- Yeah, baby!
101
00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:33,390
Guys, guys, guys.
And...
102
00:03:33,515 --> 00:03:35,549
- On top of that...
- Oh, what's that?
103
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:36,675
Hot bread.
104
00:03:37,252 --> 00:03:39,163
No to what he said,
but yes to what I said
105
00:03:39,288 --> 00:03:40,595
about the work guns and the free day.
106
00:03:40,823 --> 00:03:46,351
[All screaming]
107
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,306
- I ain't got time to bleed.
- Are you bleeding?
108
00:03:49,431 --> 00:03:50,774
No, because...
109
00:03:50,899 --> 00:03:53,577
[In deep voice]
I ain't got time to bleed.
110
00:03:53,702 --> 00:03:54,845
Oh, right.
111
00:03:54,970 --> 00:03:57,737
[Screaming]
112
00:04:02,811 --> 00:04:04,121
- Thanks, dude!
- Nice!
113
00:04:04,246 --> 00:04:05,906
Okay, these guys are trapped.
114
00:04:06,031 --> 00:04:08,258
- Let's eviscerate these fools.
- Yeah, baby.
115
00:04:08,383 --> 00:04:09,760
Oh, don't you...
do not shoot me!
116
00:04:09,885 --> 00:04:12,262
Okay, I've got live...
Office supplies.
117
00:04:12,387 --> 00:04:13,545
Live... okay.
118
00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:15,398
[Yells]
Back off, bitches!
119
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:17,257
End of the line, Tez.
120
00:04:17,792 --> 00:04:19,937
Drop it or we drop you.
121
00:04:20,062 --> 00:04:21,805
Ha ha!
Ah!
122
00:04:21,930 --> 00:04:23,972
Nobody move or this boy
gets pumped full of plastic.
123
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:27,010
I don't...
124
00:04:27,135 --> 00:04:29,936
- gee...
- Oh!
125
00:04:30,102 --> 00:04:31,215
Both: Oh!
126
00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:33,440
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
127
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,585
- Oh.
- Whoa.
128
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:37,387
That was incredible.
You're my hero, that was...
129
00:04:37,512 --> 00:04:39,857
what the hell was that crash?
130
00:04:39,982 --> 00:04:42,282
Oh, my... you guys,
I gave you the day off.
131
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,076
Travis.
132
00:04:45,242 --> 00:04:46,897
I was just coming by to...
133
00:04:47,022 --> 00:04:48,622
Scoop the evaluations
134
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,916
and get a look-see at
how you do things around here.
135
00:04:52,261 --> 00:04:54,271
Now I know.
136
00:04:54,396 --> 00:04:57,839
Travis, it was just...
it was a special occasion.
137
00:04:58,005 --> 00:05:01,801
Uh, a deal I made
to boost office morale.
138
00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:04,304
Oh?
And what was the deal?
139
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,514
We just had to give her fives.
140
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,350
High... Fives.
141
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,078
High fives, Travis,
142
00:05:10,203 --> 00:05:12,145
because there is nothing
that boosts my morale
143
00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:13,730
more than getting some skin.
144
00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,425
Up high!
145
00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:17,609
You're not getting that raise.
146
00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:19,163
No, Travis,
I already booked my package
147
00:05:19,288 --> 00:05:20,403
to Playa Del Carmen.
148
00:05:20,956 --> 00:05:24,616
Travis, I earned this raise
and I deserve this vacation.
149
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:29,246
Then why don't you
take the rest of the week off?
150
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:31,741
Think things over.
151
00:05:31,866 --> 00:05:33,576
And hopefully you'll come back
152
00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:36,002
sharing my perspective
on the situation.
153
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:39,516
And why don't you
take the rest of your life
154
00:05:39,641 --> 00:05:42,759
to figure out
what an asshole you are?
155
00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:44,188
Good luck, everyone.
156
00:05:44,313 --> 00:05:46,023
Have fun wasting your lives here.
157
00:05:46,148 --> 00:05:49,849
- Don't cause a scene, Alice.
- Oh, fuck off, Travis!
158
00:05:50,015 --> 00:05:52,477
And eat a dick.
I quit!
159
00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:54,564
Jillian, I want you
to pack all my things
160
00:05:54,689 --> 00:05:56,314
and bring it to my car.
161
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:57,434
Oh, would you like me to do that?
162
00:05:57,559 --> 00:05:58,869
Would you like that?
163
00:05:58,994 --> 00:06:01,071
Well, guess what, baby.
You're outta here!
164
00:06:01,196 --> 00:06:02,906
I think you can handle it...
165
00:06:03,031 --> 00:06:04,281
And I want receipts.
166
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,866
Jillian, please, just help her.
167
00:06:07,032 --> 00:06:10,237
- You got it, Travis.
- [Sighs]
168
00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:14,082
Dang, Alice went out like a "g."
169
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,719
End of an era.
170
00:06:15,844 --> 00:06:17,377
Hate to see her go, but...
171
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:20,672
I love to stare at her butt
as she goes leaving.
172
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:21,892
Way too skinny for me.
173
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:24,426
- You think?
- Mm, truly.
174
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:34,227
{pub}- Oh, tits quota, right.
- It's a tits quota.
175
00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:35,737
That's right.
That's good.
176
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,272
What's going on here?
177
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,973
I thought I'd open things up
around here.
178
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:41,776
By the way, you are 32 minutes late,
179
00:06:41,942 --> 00:06:43,244
which means you will
start getting paid
180
00:06:43,369 --> 00:06:45,179
- at the top of the next hour.
- Are we?
181
00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:46,573
- Yes.
- Wait, what?
182
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,366
You're not the boss of us.
183
00:06:48,532 --> 00:06:49,984
Oh, I am...
184
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:52,037
Till I find Alice's replacement.
185
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,998
In the meantime, I'll be making
some changes around here.
186
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:58,626
And I'm not just talking
about the lush greenery.
187
00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:00,754
Some efficiency adjustments.
188
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,798
Some new rules, new seats.
189
00:07:03,964 --> 00:07:06,051
You boys are no longer cube mates.
190
00:07:07,038 --> 00:07:08,136
Jillian!
191
00:07:10,095 --> 00:07:11,097
Pardonne-moi.
192
00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:12,682
What are you doing?
193
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:14,609
- Oh, my gosh, no.
- I told you to move the wall.
194
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:16,686
- Move the wall!
- Not... not him.
195
00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:20,415
Oh, Jet Set.
196
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:21,608
All right, Jesse!
197
00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:23,284
Appreciate you rinsing your hair out.
198
00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:24,903
It was just a sanitary matter.
199
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:26,529
It was a silly hairdo anyway.
200
00:07:26,695 --> 00:07:28,022
Now you won't be ruining
those headsets
201
00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:29,324
with your hair jelly.
202
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,450
Jillian...
203
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:34,788
Tell the fellas
where they'll be working.
204
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,765
Follow me.
205
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:40,702
Adam, park it.
206
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:42,837
Blake...
Over there.
207
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:46,216
Anders, follow the leader.
208
00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:48,042
[Phone ringing]
209
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,219
Yellow?
210
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:50,378
Yo, bro.
211
00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:51,779
You can't see me,
212
00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:53,181
but I'm flicking Montez off
right now.
213
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:55,308
- No, I can see him.
- Oh, you can see me.
214
00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:56,634
I'm, like, just
literally ten feet away.
215
00:07:56,759 --> 00:07:59,053
Eww! Your hands are so hairy, bro.
216
00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:01,188
You're disgusting,
you're a disgusting human.
217
00:08:01,313 --> 00:08:02,590
I hate you.
218
00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:04,275
Anyway, what's going on
with you, Ders?
219
00:08:04,441 --> 00:08:07,061
Mm, not much, man.
I'm just living my sucky life.
220
00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:08,730
- Just hating it.
- Yeah, I get that.
221
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:11,265
My sales are up though.
Record high today for sales.
222
00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:13,334
Me too!
That's bizarre!
223
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:15,470
- We're like the same person.
- Yeah.
224
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,672
I have...
I have pissed in,
225
00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:20,375
like, this dude's plants,
like, three times though.
226
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,809
Oh, man, I miss you.
[Phone beeping]
227
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:24,379
Hey, hang on.
228
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,880
Blazarium.
229
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,850
Hey. It's Blake
from the, uh, old cubicle.
230
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:31,786
Um, I just made a sale.
231
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:35,557
And if I don't smoke something soon,
232
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,925
I'm gonna put my face
in the paper shredder.
233
00:08:38,050 --> 00:08:40,862
So please can we meet up
in the hotel lobby?
234
00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,264
That's what we're calling
the storage closet, right?
235
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:45,900
- Yes.
- Okay.
236
00:08:46,066 --> 00:08:49,570
- You's about to get zippo'd!
- Oh, man!
237
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,439
- Look what I brought.
- I missed you!
238
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:54,141
I know, I've honestly
missed you a lot too.
239
00:08:54,266 --> 00:08:56,161
Is it...
it's been too long, dude.
240
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,912
- It has.
- Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
241
00:08:58,078 --> 00:08:59,205
I took a pee in one of those bushes
242
00:08:59,371 --> 00:09:01,516
- just like you did.
- Nice! Get in here!
243
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,250
I missed you too.
Honestly I have.
244
00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:04,786
- I'm trying to be you.
- I didn't think I would.
245
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:06,754
- But I did.
- Let's smoke about it.
246
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,280
Yeah, we're gonna smoke about it.
247
00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:13,895
I don't know what you were
planning on doing in here,
248
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:17,515
but I'm betting it didn't
involve making sales calls.
249
00:09:17,681 --> 00:09:19,066
Uh...
250
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:20,501
it depends on what you mean
by "sales calls."
251
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:22,169
- We could try.
- Let's hit the phones!
252
00:09:22,294 --> 00:09:24,429
Hmm?
253
00:09:29,401 --> 00:09:31,636
And stop flipping me off.
254
00:09:32,988 --> 00:09:35,033
How does he see that?
That was incredible.
255
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:36,551
- Gosh.
- That's an amazing skill set.
256
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:39,186
I hate this dude, man.
257
00:09:39,311 --> 00:09:41,221
I guess I'll just see you guys
in there, all right?
258
00:09:41,346 --> 00:09:43,333
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
259
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:45,927
Okay?
We're the bash bros!
260
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:48,129
Let's bash this fool,
catch him slipping.
261
00:09:48,295 --> 00:09:49,931
We do need to catch him
slipping, but he doesn't slip.
262
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:51,883
It's like he's wearing
shoes for crews, man.
263
00:09:52,157 --> 00:09:53,167
Guys, I got an idea.
264
00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:54,635
Look, I got this app on my phone
265
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,170
where you can record people's voices
266
00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:57,672
and then edit it around
267
00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,182
so they say things
that they didn't even say.
268
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,608
- Can that work?
- Whoa.
269
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:02,185
- You tell me.
- Welcome to the future.
270
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:04,062
[Blake's voice, mechanically]
My favorite meal
271
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:07,748
is butt salad with extra butt.
272
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:09,517
- Eww!
- What?
273
00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:11,218
Whoa, extra butt.
274
00:10:11,343 --> 00:10:13,053
- No, I don't like butt salad.
- Ew, you nasty, boy.
275
00:10:13,178 --> 00:10:14,280
Apparently you do.
276
00:10:14,446 --> 00:10:16,658
My favorite salad is Asian salad.
277
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,459
- Asian salad is good.
- Mm-hmm.
278
00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:19,861
- Butt-dorf.
- Butt salad?
279
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:20,740
You don't know what it tastes like.
280
00:10:20,865 --> 00:10:22,309
- Could be delicious.
- It's right there.
281
00:10:22,434 --> 00:10:23,581
- Yeah.
- Which is crazy.
282
00:10:23,747 --> 00:10:25,533
That is crazy, how close it is.
283
00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:26,834
Butt salad and Asian salad?
284
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,903
No, butt salad and vagina salad.
285
00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:30,972
Oh, I'll mess with that.
286
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:32,590
Yeah, I'll mess
with some of that salad.
287
00:10:32,756 --> 00:10:33,716
Cool?
288
00:10:33,882 --> 00:10:34,842
Wait, why do you have that?
289
00:10:35,008 --> 00:10:36,677
Well, it's for, like,
a future situation
290
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,137
in case I need to blackmail you guys.
291
00:10:38,303 --> 00:10:40,147
I love future situations.
292
00:10:40,272 --> 00:10:41,649
Those are, like, my favorite.
293
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:42,984
Out of all sitches,
those are my favorite.
294
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:44,644
- Play mine.
- Sure.
295
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,320
[Adam's voice]
In middle school,
296
00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:48,523
I tricked this homeless dude
I bought weed from
297
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:49,891
into walking into traffic,
298
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,759
and when he got hit by a cement truck
299
00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:53,728
I just took off on my bike.
300
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:55,396
- Oh, my God!
- That sounded real.
301
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:57,574
Oh, my God.
How did you make me say that?
302
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,800
Oh, no, that one was just
a drunk voicemail
303
00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:01,661
that you left me a while back, yeah.
304
00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:03,838
[Exhales sharply]
305
00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:05,606
- Very impressive.
- Thank you.
306
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,307
- Very cool, very cool.
- Thank you, thank you.
307
00:11:07,432 --> 00:11:08,910
Also could we delete that?
308
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:11,337
'cause I could go to prison
for something like that.
309
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:15,016
All right.
You got this, Ders.
310
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:16,884
- Okay, once again...
- Stop.
311
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,653
The sentence we agreed on
312
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,087
was "I will force her to the ground
313
00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:22,222
- and bury my dick in her."
- Got it.
314
00:11:22,347 --> 00:11:24,291
Say all that
and we'll have his balls...
315
00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:25,522
By the balls, I guess.
316
00:11:25,647 --> 00:11:27,061
We'll have his balls by the balls.
317
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,521
That's the best way, all wrapped up.
318
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,524
- [Knock at door]
- Come on in!
319
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:33,333
Travis.
320
00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:34,611
Man, how are you?
321
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,738
Um, look, I was just in here
322
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:39,239
to ask you about
some sales techniques,
323
00:11:39,364 --> 00:11:41,701
because, you know,
real recognize real.
324
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,879
So I'm gonna ask you
how you prefer to call.
325
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:47,481
'cause I'm more of a smooth operator.
326
00:11:47,606 --> 00:11:50,084
Um, but I was wondering
if you believed in
327
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:53,421
using brute, um,
328
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,798
- uh, like brute...
- Force?
329
00:11:55,964 --> 00:11:57,425
Force! Yes!
Perfect.
330
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,560
And, uh, also there was a name
331
00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:01,471
that I was seeing on the list.
332
00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:02,930
And I couldn't figure out
how to pronounce it.
333
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:08,970
So I'll just write it here.
You know.
334
00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:10,772
Barry McCockiner.
335
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,607
Yes!
That's...
336
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,901
Gotta be how you pronounce it,
thank you.
337
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,812
I can't believe
we went with that cliche.
338
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,213
Barry McCockiner?
339
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,348
- [Scoffs]
- That's weak, dude.
340
00:12:21,473 --> 00:12:22,650
I know, I know.
341
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:24,184
And I just thought of a good one.
342
00:12:24,309 --> 00:12:25,328
Like, just now.
343
00:12:25,577 --> 00:12:26,787
I've been thinking of great ones
344
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,288
ever since he went in there.
345
00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:31,950
Yeah, but it's too late now, right?
346
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,505
I did that earlier.
347
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:39,600
It's something-town Julie brown.
348
00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:42,058
And I know it's not uptown,
'cause I would remember that.
349
00:12:42,183 --> 00:12:43,262
It's like...
[Phone vibrating]
350
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:46,306
Uh...
[Laughing]
351
00:12:46,431 --> 00:12:48,643
Down.
Thanks for the help.
352
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,277
Okay, psst.
Ders.
353
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,146
- Ders, if you can hear me...
- Appreciate it.
354
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,690
- Forget Barry McCockiner, Ders.
- I'm gonna go.
355
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,233
- Wait.
- We're going with Yerpa.
356
00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:56,517
- First name Yerpa.
- Shh!
357
00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:58,019
C. Stinks.
Yerpa C. Stinks.
358
00:12:58,144 --> 00:12:59,353
- You get it?
- Yeah, yeah.
359
00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:01,447
Or try Ivana Jizinu.
360
00:13:01,613 --> 00:13:03,858
Uh, it's a Russian-Japanese
girl, if he asks.
361
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:05,660
- Ivana Jizinu.
- Ivana.
362
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,662
Hit him with the Ivana first.
363
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:10,097
Yeah, we just felt like
Barry McCockiner
364
00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:12,033
has been, like, played out
a little bit.
365
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:13,835
Like, I felt like
I've seen it places.
366
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,403
- Ders?
- Gentlemen!
367
00:13:16,528 --> 00:13:19,940
Please join us in my office.
368
00:13:20,065 --> 00:13:22,276
Sorry.
369
00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:23,469
Yes.
370
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:34,397
{pub}I am gonna take
my boss hat off for a second,
371
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:37,250
because at the end of the day...
372
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:39,026
We're all just men, right?
373
00:13:39,192 --> 00:13:40,753
- Ha. Yeah, don't...
- Yeah.
374
00:13:40,878 --> 00:13:42,222
Don't let the hair fool ya.
375
00:13:42,347 --> 00:13:44,907
[Laughing]
'cause of your longer... yes.
376
00:13:45,073 --> 00:13:46,409
So let's try and act like men.
377
00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:49,036
Quit sneaking around my office,
378
00:13:49,202 --> 00:13:51,464
playing little games.
379
00:13:51,589 --> 00:13:52,790
That's not what men do.
380
00:13:52,956 --> 00:13:54,500
And I know...
381
00:13:54,666 --> 00:13:57,086
Because I am a real man.
382
00:13:57,252 --> 00:14:00,364
- Yeah.
- Yes.
383
00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,552
Do you see what I mean?
384
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:07,513
Not even that big, right?
385
00:14:08,072 --> 00:14:10,182
- Very average-size.
- Surprisingly.
386
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:11,651
- 'cause you're tall.
- Yeah, 'cause you're a big man.
387
00:14:11,776 --> 00:14:13,519
You'd think it'd be...
388
00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:15,062
but at least
I'm putting it out there.
389
00:14:15,228 --> 00:14:16,481
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes, you are.
390
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,274
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you are.
391
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,361
Now... Are you guys real men?
392
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,154
- Yeah.
- Are you?
393
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,281
- Yeah.
- Totally, yeah.
394
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:28,785
Then whip it out.
395
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,579
Get your dick outta your pants now!
396
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:33,773
Are you men or not?
397
00:14:33,898 --> 00:14:34,874
Show it!
398
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,752
- No.
- That's what I figured.
399
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:39,295
Now...
400
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:42,081
Let's finish the day strong, okay?
401
00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:44,926
Make some sales, hmm?
402
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:46,844
All right.
Yeah.
403
00:14:47,010 --> 00:14:48,254
- Yes.
- Okay, good.
404
00:14:48,379 --> 00:14:50,973
- Get back to work.
- Get back to work.
405
00:14:56,987 --> 00:14:58,356
What do you think you're doing?
406
00:14:59,056 --> 00:15:00,483
My hair.
407
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,860
Well, you better rinse it out
before Travis sees it!
408
00:15:03,026 --> 00:15:04,561
What's happening here?
409
00:15:05,153 --> 00:15:06,989
This is not the Telamericorp
that I used to know.
410
00:15:07,155 --> 00:15:10,743
I look around, I recognize nothing!
411
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,538
Where's all the smiles, the giggling?
412
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,181
Can somebody tell me
where the giggling at, huh?
413
00:15:15,306 --> 00:15:16,624
Jesse!
414
00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:20,169
If you wanna talk,
step into my office.
415
00:15:20,335 --> 00:15:22,188
Travis, before you got here,
416
00:15:22,313 --> 00:15:23,881
we was all friends.
417
00:15:24,047 --> 00:15:25,458
Work was fun.
418
00:15:25,583 --> 00:15:27,134
We used to love to walk
through that door.
419
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:31,055
But now, since you been here,
this place is sorry!
420
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:34,100
Jesse!
Calm down.
421
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:35,685
Jet!
422
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:38,479
My name is Jet motherfucking Set!
423
00:15:38,645 --> 00:15:41,106
But you can call me Patrick Swayze.
424
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,818
'cause guess what?
I'm ghost.
425
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:47,079
Now gimme my goddamn cactus.
426
00:15:47,204 --> 00:15:48,364
Have a good day.
427
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,550
See y'all later,
Montez, Waymond, all y'all.
428
00:15:50,675 --> 00:15:52,985
Ders, Adams, Blake.
429
00:15:53,110 --> 00:15:54,829
Jillian.
430
00:15:55,045 --> 00:15:56,622
Okay, that happened.
431
00:15:56,788 --> 00:15:59,749
Now back to work!
432
00:16:02,627 --> 00:16:06,198
Okay.
That happened.
433
00:16:06,323 --> 00:16:07,550
Now back to work!
434
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:11,429
Show's over.
Back to work!
435
00:16:13,221 --> 00:16:15,799
[Birds chirping]
436
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,062
Jillian still has those birds.
437
00:16:20,228 --> 00:16:22,106
She thinks she's above the law.
438
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:24,684
Well, she just got marked for death.
439
00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:27,553
I'm gonna throw that cage
off the roof.
440
00:16:27,678 --> 00:16:29,989
No, no, no, no, no.
I got a better idea.
441
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,783
Maybe we should rattle Travis' cage.
442
00:16:39,831 --> 00:16:44,503
[Birds chirping]
443
00:16:49,549 --> 00:16:50,643
Ah!
444
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,468
Geez! Ah!
Hyah!
445
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:55,348
[Sputtering]
446
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,599
[Yells]
447
00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:57,892
[All screaming]
448
00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:00,603
[Laughing]
449
00:17:01,853 --> 00:17:03,356
No!
450
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,181
Fiona Apple!
451
00:17:06,116 --> 00:17:08,251
- Marty McFly!
- Ha!
452
00:17:10,588 --> 00:17:12,948
- Jimmy Kimmel!
- Ha! Ha!
453
00:17:13,114 --> 00:17:14,617
Oh! Jimmy Fallon!
The Jimmies!
454
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,118
[Yelling]
455
00:17:18,629 --> 00:17:21,916
[Parrot squawking]
456
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,336
No.
457
00:17:25,903 --> 00:17:28,464
[All exclaim]
458
00:17:30,374 --> 00:17:33,920
Can I please speak
with a Ms. Janet Paulson?
459
00:17:34,045 --> 00:17:35,513
I'll speak with anyone in the house.
460
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,210
{pub}Jillian, I don't know
what you want, all right?
461
00:17:51,335 --> 00:17:52,822
We didn't do anything.
It wasn't us.
462
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:55,157
I need to apologize to you guys.
463
00:17:55,323 --> 00:17:56,534
I done fricked up, okay?
464
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,217
I turned my back on you,
465
00:17:58,493 --> 00:18:01,153
and I let Travis
take advantage of my innocence.
466
00:18:01,278 --> 00:18:02,999
But then he went and killed
my baby birds.
467
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,625
What?
Those were babies?
468
00:18:04,791 --> 00:18:06,168
No, eggs are baby birds.
469
00:18:06,334 --> 00:18:08,713
No, eggs are baby chickens.
470
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:09,755
Everyone's wrong.
471
00:18:09,921 --> 00:18:12,365
Guys, he's been recording
your every move.
472
00:18:12,632 --> 00:18:14,301
Okay, there's cameras in the plants.
473
00:18:14,826 --> 00:18:17,203
And he put me in charge
of surveillance.
474
00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:20,239
I'm so, so, so...
I'm so, so, so, so sorry.
475
00:18:20,364 --> 00:18:22,226
Whoa! She's not kidding.
There's a tiny camera in here.
476
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:24,562
- Oh, my God.
- Feel like a tattle rat.
477
00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:25,878
Oh, my gosh.
478
00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:27,413
If Earth Pets saw footage
479
00:18:27,538 --> 00:18:28,715
of that dude duck hunting
those birds out there,
480
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,216
they would be pissed!
481
00:18:30,341 --> 00:18:32,028
We need your help
and Jet Set's hair cream.
482
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,447
- [Banging]
- Coming in, Trav.
483
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,489
We're here to tell you you're
about to get a video chat call
484
00:18:36,614 --> 00:18:37,890
from the people at Earth Pets.
485
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:40,226
Yeah, I guess they got
some surveillance video
486
00:18:40,351 --> 00:18:43,414
of a certain executive
shooting birds.
487
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:44,790
Hmm, that'd be crazy.
488
00:18:45,122 --> 00:18:46,265
And I wouldn't say
they didn't like it...
489
00:18:46,390 --> 00:18:48,067
Because they didn't not like it.
490
00:18:48,192 --> 00:18:52,173
'cause they loved hating it
and not liking it at all.
491
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,258
Wha...
[Computer chiming]
492
00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:55,593
Oh, you might wanna answer that.
493
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,428
"Oh, no, I'm fired."
494
00:18:58,694 --> 00:19:00,514
Travis Rockne
of T.A.C. here.
495
00:19:00,738 --> 00:19:02,975
Hi, Travis.
Bridget McCarthy of Earth Pets.
496
00:19:03,273 --> 00:19:04,851
Hello, Bridget.
497
00:19:04,976 --> 00:19:06,619
I was told you've taken over
for Alice Murphy.
498
00:19:06,744 --> 00:19:08,220
Temporarily.
499
00:19:08,345 --> 00:19:10,022
Alice has moved on
to greener pastures and I'm...
500
00:19:10,147 --> 00:19:11,915
- [Sneeze]
- In the process of looking...
501
00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:16,280
At... for her, uh, replacement.
502
00:19:16,554 --> 00:19:17,930
Well, I hate to tell you this,
503
00:19:18,055 --> 00:19:19,465
but we don't wanna work
with a replacement.
504
00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:21,952
And we surely don't wanna work
with you either.
505
00:19:22,118 --> 00:19:25,004
Bridget, you know how
we value your... your business.
506
00:19:25,129 --> 00:19:26,939
Okay, well, get Alice Murphy back
507
00:19:27,064 --> 00:19:29,001
or you won't have our business,
bird killer!
508
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:31,102
Bird killer!
509
00:19:32,937 --> 00:19:35,147
You see our dicks, right?
510
00:19:35,272 --> 00:19:36,949
Mine's getting cold,
so I'm gonna put it away.
511
00:19:37,074 --> 00:19:38,551
- Yeah, it's a little cold.
- You keep it cold in here.
512
00:19:38,676 --> 00:19:39,985
Very chilly!
513
00:19:40,110 --> 00:19:41,320
So they're not as big
as they should be.
514
00:19:41,445 --> 00:19:42,922
- Very chilly.
- But they were out.
515
00:19:43,047 --> 00:19:44,975
Let it be known
they're out, we're men.
516
00:19:45,141 --> 00:19:46,345
- So...
- Okay.
517
00:19:48,185 --> 00:19:49,962
- [Laughter]
- That's right, bitches.
518
00:19:50,087 --> 00:19:51,397
I'm back.
519
00:19:51,522 --> 00:19:53,566
What is that piss smell in here?
520
00:19:53,691 --> 00:19:54,967
- Jillian.
- Hi! Good to see you.
521
00:19:55,092 --> 00:19:56,502
- You look great.
- Shut up.
522
00:19:56,627 --> 00:19:57,863
- I'd love to.
- Couple of things.
523
00:19:58,029 --> 00:20:00,324
I need you to confirm my flight
to Playa Del Carmen.
524
00:20:00,631 --> 00:20:02,942
And I need you to find
those little birds.
525
00:20:03,067 --> 00:20:05,412
I gotta do a video chat
with Earth Pets in a second.
526
00:20:05,803 --> 00:20:09,081
Oh, uh, well, Alice...
527
00:20:09,206 --> 00:20:11,544
actually, we kind of still have them.
528
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,337
We're just glad
to have you back, Alice.
529
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:15,297
- [Whistling]
- Well, uh, Bridget,
530
00:20:15,463 --> 00:20:16,382
- I just can't wait...
- Ba-caw!
531
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,424
To be getting back, and I promise
532
00:20:18,549 --> 00:20:19,969
I'll contact you next week,
okay, gal pal?
533
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,679
- Ba-caw!
- See you later. Bye!
534
00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:23,395
- Okay.
- Ba-caw!
535
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:24,557
Okay, okay, okay.
We're done.
536
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,225
- Yeah.
- She's gone.
537
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,500
Cool.
538
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:29,001
Hey, Alice, uh,
the lady on your computer,
539
00:20:29,126 --> 00:20:31,871
- she's not wrong.
- That's really nice.
540
00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:34,400
Now why don't you get these
goddamn dead birds off of me...
541
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:35,608
- Sure.
- And get back to work?
542
00:20:35,733 --> 00:20:36,402
- Sorry.
- How about that?
543
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:37,653
I'm gonna keep this one.
544
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:38,612
- It was fun.
- Oh, hey.
545
00:20:38,778 --> 00:20:40,156
Can we get our airsoft guns back?
546
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,914
Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure.
No problem.
547
00:20:42,039 --> 00:20:44,584
Thank you.
[All talking]
548
00:20:44,709 --> 00:20:46,203
[All screaming]
549
00:20:46,510 --> 00:20:47,705
Whoa!
Whoa!
550
00:20:48,178 --> 00:20:49,456
Yeah!
551
00:20:51,281 --> 00:20:53,043
God, I wish this was real.
552
00:20:53,209 --> 00:20:57,047
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com