1
00:00:01,137 --> 00:00:05,850
[Tires screeching]
2
00:00:05,975 --> 00:00:08,019
[Rap music]
3
00:00:08,144 --> 00:00:09,854
♪ Show me yours ♪
4
00:00:09,979 --> 00:00:11,588
♪ That's right, the time has come ♪
5
00:00:11,713 --> 00:00:13,431
♪ To hunt the red and blue dragons ♪
6
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,426
♪ And they on the run ♪
7
00:00:15,551 --> 00:00:17,428
♪ This ain't a game, dragon ♪
8
00:00:17,553 --> 00:00:19,130
♪ Please don't take the chance ♪
9
00:00:19,255 --> 00:00:21,147
♪ I got a lance in my pants ♪
10
00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:23,315
♪ I'm a legend like Bagger Vance ♪
11
00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:25,903
♪ Please believe the folklore ♪
12
00:00:26,028 --> 00:00:27,238
♪ I'ma choke your neck ♪
13
00:00:27,363 --> 00:00:29,655
♪ I slay dragons for riches ♪
14
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,508
- Oh!
- Jeez.
15
00:00:31,633 --> 00:00:32,825
- Oh, my bad, dude.
- Sorry, Tez.
16
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,785
That was a direct hit.
That's my fault.
17
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,413
I figured your big-ass nose
would've deflected it.
18
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,291
You would think, but
you hit me in the eye, bitch!
19
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,168
Oh, we were just trying
to roll up on Waymond, really.
20
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:43,752
Dammit, Waymond!
21
00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:47,006
Now you must pay.
22
00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:49,717
Man, something's jammed in this.
23
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:50,728
- Wait, no, no!
- D'oh!
24
00:00:50,853 --> 00:00:52,595
- Whoa.
- God, you're a stupid mother...
25
00:00:55,805 --> 00:01:00,227
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
26
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,192
Yo! That's point blank, man.
27
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:07,485
Are you guys crazy?
28
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:09,195
- Kneecaps only.
- No, no! Ow!
29
00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:11,255
- Oh!
- Oh, that broke skin.
30
00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:14,992
Oh, don't slip on this sale,
because it is really a heater.
31
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,535
- Uh, how are ya?
- Give me the guns.
32
00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:17,786
- [Inaudible]
- Sold.
33
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:18,829
Now!
34
00:01:19,681 --> 00:01:21,259
All right,
but they're for protection.
35
00:01:21,384 --> 00:01:22,795
You know,
it's getting dark out there.
36
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:23,709
- I don't care, okay?
- I'm gonna take the clip.
37
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,963
You are at work in an office.
38
00:01:26,088 --> 00:01:28,005
- Act like it.
- This is bullcrap.
39
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,134
We brought those guns
to work fair and square.
40
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:33,260
You're, like, the meanest,
most uncaring boss ever.
41
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,639
Oh, Blake,
I'm so sorry I disappointed you.
42
00:01:35,764 --> 00:01:37,264
Get back to work.
43
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,558
Jillian, come on.
Let's do this video chat.
44
00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:42,013
Well, 2012 was great for us.
45
00:01:42,138 --> 00:01:45,049
So I know working
with Telamericorp again in 2013
46
00:01:45,174 --> 00:01:46,650
is the right move.
47
00:01:46,775 --> 00:01:48,252
Well, that is wonderful.
48
00:01:48,377 --> 00:01:49,818
That's exactly what
we wanted to hear, Bridget.
49
00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,588
And I gotta say, it is so wonderful
50
00:01:51,713 --> 00:01:53,624
working with a fellow animal lover.
51
00:01:53,749 --> 00:01:55,426
Right back at ya, Alice.
52
00:01:55,551 --> 00:01:57,326
I'll have this contract
emailed to you this week.
53
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:58,577
That's great.
54
00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:00,454
Beautiful birds by the way.
55
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:01,832
Oh, well, thank you.
56
00:02:01,957 --> 00:02:04,601
Yeah, this one right here,
African Grey.
57
00:02:04,726 --> 00:02:07,294
Wonder of the sky, I always say.
58
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:08,539
I do too!
59
00:02:08,664 --> 00:02:09,873
All right, you take care, Bridget.
60
00:02:09,998 --> 00:02:11,208
Bye.
61
00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:12,643
Ugh, get these goddamn things
off of me!
62
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:13,926
All right, okay.
63
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,079
- [Yelling]
- Okay.
64
00:02:15,204 --> 00:02:16,347
- Jillian!
- All right, I know.
65
00:02:16,472 --> 00:02:17,179
- Jillian!
- I know.
66
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:18,555
- Get it...
- got him.
67
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:19,358
Ugh!
68
00:02:19,483 --> 00:02:22,017
Earth Pets of West Covina,
such a respectable company.
69
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,121
Shut up and gimme some skin.
70
00:02:24,246 --> 00:02:25,145
- Ow.
- Ooh!
71
00:02:25,581 --> 00:02:27,189
Ah, I am so good.
And you know what?
72
00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:31,318
I am so getting that raise
and bonus vacay days, girl.
73
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,697
Now why don't you take
these little shit makers
74
00:02:33,822 --> 00:02:35,599
back to the store, okay?
75
00:02:35,724 --> 00:02:38,502
What...
Alice, I hand-picked them.
76
00:02:38,627 --> 00:02:40,369
I've told them my secrets.
They're my best friends.
77
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:44,375
I think you can handle it.
And I want receipts.
78
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:47,311
Hello, nerds.
I need you to fill these out.
79
00:02:47,436 --> 00:02:48,419
[Sighs]
Oh, my gosh.
80
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:49,546
Now we have to fill stuff out?
81
00:02:49,671 --> 00:02:51,248
You are the meanest person ever.
82
00:02:51,373 --> 00:02:53,317
It'll take ten seconds.
83
00:02:53,442 --> 00:02:55,634
Just circle all fives
and don't leave any comments.
84
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:56,593
Hang on.
85
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,804
This is an evaluation of you?
86
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:01,192
"Very good" is a five,
"very bad" is a one.
87
00:03:01,317 --> 00:03:02,850
Interesting.
88
00:03:03,319 --> 00:03:06,998
And a boss who takes away
my work guns is very bad,
89
00:03:07,123 --> 00:03:10,057
like a man who touches kids
near their buttholes.
90
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:11,650
That's bad.
91
00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:12,936
Oh, that smells exactly
like one, doesn't it?
92
00:03:13,061 --> 00:03:14,872
- What?
- Does mine smell like a one?
93
00:03:14,997 --> 00:03:16,673
- Oh, yeah, they're all ones.
- Does yours smell like a one?
94
00:03:16,798 --> 00:03:21,578
How about, if you give me all fives,
95
00:03:21,703 --> 00:03:22,911
I'll give you your guns back?
96
00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:24,482
- Yes!
- Oh, okay.
97
00:03:24,607 --> 00:03:25,956
Nice!
98
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,375
And a free day
to do whatever we want.
99
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,960
All fives.
100
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,389
- Yes!
- Yeah, baby!
101
00:03:31,514 --> 00:03:33,724
Guys, guys, guys.
And...
102
00:03:33,849 --> 00:03:35,883
- On top of that...
- Oh, what's that?
103
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,009
Hot bread.
104
00:03:37,586 --> 00:03:39,497
No to what he said,
but yes to what I said
105
00:03:39,622 --> 00:03:40,929
about the work guns and the free day.
106
00:03:41,157 --> 00:03:46,685
[All screaming]
107
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:49,640
- I ain't got time to bleed.
- Are you bleeding?
108
00:03:49,765 --> 00:03:51,108
No, because...
109
00:03:51,233 --> 00:03:53,911
[In deep voice]
I ain't got time to bleed.
110
00:03:54,036 --> 00:03:55,179
Oh, right.
111
00:03:55,304 --> 00:03:58,072
[Screaming]
112
00:04:03,145 --> 00:04:04,455
- Thanks, dude!
- Nice!
113
00:04:04,580 --> 00:04:06,240
Okay, these guys are trapped.
114
00:04:06,365 --> 00:04:08,592
- Let's eviscerate these fools.
- Yeah, baby.
115
00:04:08,717 --> 00:04:10,094
Oh, don't you...
do not shoot me!
116
00:04:10,219 --> 00:04:12,596
Okay, I've got live...
Office supplies.
117
00:04:12,721 --> 00:04:13,920
Live... okay.
118
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,732
[Yells]
Back off, bitches!
119
00:04:15,857 --> 00:04:17,591
End of the line, Tez.
120
00:04:18,126 --> 00:04:20,271
Drop it or we drop you.
121
00:04:20,396 --> 00:04:22,139
Ha ha!
Ah!
122
00:04:22,264 --> 00:04:24,306
Nobody move or this boy
gets pumped full of plastic.
123
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,344
I don't...
124
00:04:27,469 --> 00:04:30,270
- gee...
- oh!
125
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,549
Both: Oh!
126
00:04:31,674 --> 00:04:33,774
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
127
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,919
- Oh.
- Whoa.
128
00:04:36,044 --> 00:04:37,721
That was incredible.
You're my hero, that was...
129
00:04:37,846 --> 00:04:40,191
what the hell was that crash?
130
00:04:40,316 --> 00:04:42,616
Oh, my... you guys,
I gave you the day off.
131
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,410
Travis.
132
00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:47,231
I was just coming by to...
133
00:04:47,356 --> 00:04:48,956
Scoop the evaluations
134
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,250
and get a look-see at
how you do things around here.
135
00:04:52,595 --> 00:04:54,605
Now I know.
136
00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:58,173
Travis, it was just...
it was a special occasion.
137
00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:02,135
Uh, a deal I made
to boost office morale.
138
00:05:02,301 --> 00:05:04,638
Oh?
And what was the deal?
139
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,849
We just had to give her fives.
140
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,684
High... Fives.
141
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,412
High fives, Travis,
142
00:05:10,537 --> 00:05:12,479
because there is nothing
that boosts my morale
143
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,064
more than getting some skin.
144
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,759
Up high!
145
00:05:15,884 --> 00:05:17,943
You're not getting that raise.
146
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,497
No, Travis,
I already booked my package
147
00:05:19,622 --> 00:05:20,737
to Playa Del Carmen.
148
00:05:21,290 --> 00:05:24,950
Travis, I earned this raise
and I deserve this vacation.
149
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:29,580
Then why don't you
take the rest of the week off?
150
00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:32,075
Think things over.
151
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,910
And hopefully you'll come back
152
00:05:34,035 --> 00:05:36,336
sharing my perspective
on the situation.
153
00:05:38,173 --> 00:05:39,850
And why don't you
take the rest of your life
154
00:05:39,975 --> 00:05:43,093
to figure out
what an asshole you are?
155
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:44,522
Good luck, everyone.
156
00:05:44,647 --> 00:05:46,357
Have fun wasting your lives here.
157
00:05:46,482 --> 00:05:50,183
- Don't cause a scene, Alice.
- Oh, fuck off, Travis!
158
00:05:50,349 --> 00:05:52,811
And eat a dick.
I quit!
159
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:54,898
Jillian, I want you
to pack all my things
160
00:05:55,023 --> 00:05:56,648
and bring it to my car.
161
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:57,768
Oh, would you like me to do that?
162
00:05:57,893 --> 00:05:59,203
Would you like that?
163
00:05:59,328 --> 00:06:01,405
Well, guess what, baby.
You're outta here!
164
00:06:01,530 --> 00:06:03,240
I think you can handle it...
165
00:06:03,365 --> 00:06:04,615
And I want receipts.
166
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,200
Jillian, please, just help her.
167
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:10,571
- You got it, Travis.
- [Sighs]
168
00:06:12,140 --> 00:06:14,416
Dang, Alice went out like a "g."
169
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,053
End of an era.
170
00:06:16,178 --> 00:06:17,711
Hate to see her go, but...
171
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:21,006
I love to stare at her butt
as she goes leaving.
172
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,226
Way too skinny for me.
173
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,760
- You think?
- Mm, truly.
174
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:34,686
{pub}- Oh, tits quota, right.
- It's a tits quota.
175
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,196
That's right.
That's good.
176
00:06:36,321 --> 00:06:37,731
What's going on here?
177
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,432
I thought I'd open things up
around here.
178
00:06:39,557 --> 00:06:42,235
By the way, you are 32 minutes late,
179
00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:43,703
which means you will
start getting paid
180
00:06:43,828 --> 00:06:45,638
- at the top of the next hour.
- Are we?
181
00:06:45,763 --> 00:06:47,032
- Yes.
- Wait, what?
182
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,825
You're not the boss of us.
183
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:50,443
Oh, I am...
184
00:06:50,568 --> 00:06:52,496
Till I find Alice's replacement.
185
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,457
In the meantime, I'll be making
some changes around here.
186
00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:59,086
And I'm not just talking
about the lush greenery.
187
00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:01,213
Some efficiency adjustments.
188
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,257
Some new rules, new seats.
189
00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:06,510
You boys are no longer cube mates.
190
00:07:07,497 --> 00:07:08,595
Jillian!
191
00:07:10,554 --> 00:07:11,556
Pardonne-moi.
192
00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:13,141
What are you doing?
193
00:07:13,358 --> 00:07:15,068
- Oh, my gosh, no.
- I told you to move the wall.
194
00:07:15,193 --> 00:07:17,145
- Move the wall!
- Not... not him.
195
00:07:17,461 --> 00:07:20,874
Oh, Jet Set.
196
00:07:20,999 --> 00:07:22,067
All right, Jesse!
197
00:07:22,433 --> 00:07:23,743
Appreciate you rinsing your hair out.
198
00:07:23,868 --> 00:07:25,362
It was just a sanitary matter.
199
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:26,988
It was a silly hairdo anyway.
200
00:07:27,154 --> 00:07:28,481
Now you won't be ruining
those headsets
201
00:07:28,606 --> 00:07:29,783
with your hair jelly.
202
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:30,909
Jillian...
203
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:35,247
Tell the fellas
where they'll be working.
204
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:38,224
Follow me.
205
00:07:38,349 --> 00:07:41,161
Adam, park it.
206
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:43,296
Blake...
Over there.
207
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:46,675
Anders, follow the leader.
208
00:07:46,891 --> 00:07:48,501
[Phone ringing]
209
00:07:48,626 --> 00:07:49,678
Yellow?
210
00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:50,837
Yo, bro.
211
00:07:50,962 --> 00:07:52,238
You can't see me,
212
00:07:52,363 --> 00:07:53,640
but I'm flicking Montez off
right now.
213
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,767
- No, I can see him.
- Oh, you can see me.
214
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,093
I'm, like, just
literally ten feet away.
215
00:07:57,218 --> 00:07:59,512
Eww! Your hands are so hairy, bro.
216
00:07:59,637 --> 00:08:01,647
You're disgusting,
you're a disgusting human.
217
00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:03,049
I hate you.
218
00:08:03,174 --> 00:08:04,735
Anyway, what's going on
with you, Ders?
219
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,520
Mm, not much, man.
I'm just living my sucky life.
220
00:08:07,645 --> 00:08:09,189
- Just hating it.
- Yeah, I get that.
221
00:08:09,314 --> 00:08:11,724
My sales are up though.
Record high today for sales.
222
00:08:11,849 --> 00:08:13,793
Me too!
That's bizarre!
223
00:08:13,918 --> 00:08:15,929
- We're like the same person.
- Yeah.
224
00:08:16,054 --> 00:08:18,131
I have...
I have pissed in,
225
00:08:18,256 --> 00:08:20,834
like, this dude's plants,
like, three times though.
226
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,268
Oh, man, I miss you.
[Phone beeping]
227
00:08:22,393 --> 00:08:24,838
Hey, hang on.
228
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,339
Blazarium.
229
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:29,309
Hey. It's Blake
from the, uh, old cubicle.
230
00:08:29,434 --> 00:08:32,245
Um, I just made a sale.
231
00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:36,016
And if I don't smoke something soon,
232
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,384
I'm gonna put my face
in the paper shredder.
233
00:08:38,509 --> 00:08:41,321
So please can we meet up
in the hotel lobby?
234
00:08:41,446 --> 00:08:43,723
That's what we're calling
the storage closet, right?
235
00:08:43,848 --> 00:08:46,359
- Yes.
- Okay.
236
00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:50,029
- You's about to get zippo'd!
- Oh, man!
237
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:51,898
- Look what I brought.
- I missed you!
238
00:08:52,023 --> 00:08:54,600
I know, I've honestly
missed you a lot too.
239
00:08:54,725 --> 00:08:56,620
Is it...
it's been too long, dude.
240
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,371
- It has.
- Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
241
00:08:58,537 --> 00:08:59,664
I took a pee in one of those bushes
242
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,975
- just like you did.
- Nice! Get in here!
243
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,709
I missed you too.
Honestly I have.
244
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,245
- I'm trying to be you.
- I didn't think I would.
245
00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:07,213
- But I did.
- Let's smoke about it.
246
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,739
Yeah, we're gonna smoke about it.
247
00:09:11,442 --> 00:09:14,354
I don't know what you were
planning on doing in here,
248
00:09:14,479 --> 00:09:17,974
but I'm betting it didn't
involve making sales calls.
249
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,525
Uh...
250
00:09:19,650 --> 00:09:20,960
it depends on what you mean
by "sales calls."
251
00:09:21,085 --> 00:09:22,628
- We could try.
- Let's hit the phones!
252
00:09:22,753 --> 00:09:24,888
Hmm?
253
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:32,095
And stop flipping me off.
254
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,492
How does he see that?
That was incredible.
255
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,010
- Gosh.
- That's an amazing skill set.
256
00:09:37,135 --> 00:09:39,645
I hate this dude, man.
257
00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:41,680
I guess I'll just see you guys
in there, all right?
258
00:09:41,805 --> 00:09:43,792
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
259
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:46,386
Okay?
We're the bash bros!
260
00:09:46,511 --> 00:09:48,588
Let's bash this fool,
catch him slipping.
261
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,390
We do need to catch him
slipping, but he doesn't slip.
262
00:09:50,515 --> 00:09:52,342
It's like he's wearing
shoes for crews, man.
263
00:09:52,616 --> 00:09:53,626
Guys, I got an idea.
264
00:09:53,751 --> 00:09:55,094
Look, I got this app on my phone
265
00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:56,629
where you can record people's voices
266
00:09:56,754 --> 00:09:58,131
and then edit it around
267
00:09:58,256 --> 00:09:59,641
so they say things
that they didn't even say.
268
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,067
- Can that work?
- Whoa.
269
00:10:01,192 --> 00:10:02,644
- You tell me.
- Welcome to the future.
270
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,521
[Blake's voice, mechanically]
My favorite meal
271
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:08,207
is butt salad with extra butt.
272
00:10:08,332 --> 00:10:09,976
- Eww!
- What?
273
00:10:10,101 --> 00:10:11,677
Whoa, extra butt.
274
00:10:11,802 --> 00:10:13,512
- No, I don't like butt salad.
- Ew, you nasty, boy.
275
00:10:13,637 --> 00:10:14,739
Apparently you do.
276
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,117
My favorite salad is Asian salad.
277
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,918
- Asian salad is good.
- Mm-hmm.
278
00:10:19,043 --> 00:10:20,320
- Butt-dorf.
- Butt salad?
279
00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:21,199
You don't know what it tastes like.
280
00:10:21,324 --> 00:10:22,768
- Could be delicious.
- It's right there.
281
00:10:22,893 --> 00:10:24,040
- Yeah.
- Which is crazy.
282
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:25,992
That is crazy, how close it is.
283
00:10:26,117 --> 00:10:27,293
Butt salad and Asian salad?
284
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,362
No, butt salad and vagina salad.
285
00:10:29,487 --> 00:10:31,431
Oh, I'll mess with that.
286
00:10:31,556 --> 00:10:33,049
Yeah, I'll mess
with some of that salad.
287
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:34,175
Cool?
288
00:10:34,341 --> 00:10:35,302
Wait, why do you have that?
289
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,136
Well, it's for, like,
a future situation
290
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:38,597
in case I need to blackmail you guys.
291
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,606
I love future situations.
292
00:10:40,731 --> 00:10:42,108
Those are, like, my favorite.
293
00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:43,443
Out of all sitches,
those are my favorite.
294
00:10:43,568 --> 00:10:45,103
- Play mine.
- Sure.
295
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,779
[Adam's voice]
In middle school,
296
00:10:46,904 --> 00:10:48,982
I tricked this homeless dude
I bought weed from
297
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:50,350
into walking into traffic,
298
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,218
and when he got hit by a cement truck
299
00:10:52,343 --> 00:10:54,187
I just took off on my bike.
300
00:10:54,312 --> 00:10:55,855
- Oh, my God!
- That sounded real.
301
00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:58,033
Oh, my God.
How did you make me say that?
302
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,259
Oh, no, that one was just
a drunk voicemail
303
00:11:00,384 --> 00:11:02,120
that you left me a while back, yeah.
304
00:11:02,386 --> 00:11:04,297
[Exhales sharply]
305
00:11:04,422 --> 00:11:06,065
- Very impressive.
- Thank you.
306
00:11:06,190 --> 00:11:07,626
- Very cool, very cool.
- Thank you, thank you.
307
00:11:07,891 --> 00:11:09,369
Also could we delete that?
308
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,796
'cause I could go to prison
for something like that.
309
00:11:13,598 --> 00:11:15,475
All right.
You got this, Ders.
310
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,343
- Okay, once again...
- Stop.
311
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,112
The sentence we agreed on
312
00:11:19,237 --> 00:11:20,546
was "I will force her to the ground
313
00:11:20,671 --> 00:11:22,681
- and bury my dick in her."
- Got it.
314
00:11:22,806 --> 00:11:24,750
Say all that
and we'll have his balls...
315
00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:25,981
By the balls, I guess.
316
00:11:26,106 --> 00:11:27,520
We'll have his balls by the balls.
317
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:28,980
That's the best way, all wrapped up.
318
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,983
- [Knock at door]
- Come on in!
319
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:33,792
Travis.
320
00:11:33,917 --> 00:11:35,070
Man, how are you?
321
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,197
Um, look, I was just in here
322
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,698
to ask you about
some sales techniques,
323
00:11:39,823 --> 00:11:42,160
because, you know,
real recognize real.
324
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:45,338
So I'm gonna ask you
how you prefer to call.
325
00:11:45,463 --> 00:11:47,940
'cause I'm more of a smooth operator.
326
00:11:48,065 --> 00:11:50,543
Um, but I was wondering
if you believed in
327
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,880
using brute, um,
328
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,257
- uh, like brute...
- force?
329
00:11:56,423 --> 00:11:57,884
Force! Yes!
Perfect.
330
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,019
And, uh, also there was a name
331
00:12:00,144 --> 00:12:01,930
that I was seeing on the list.
332
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,389
And I couldn't figure out
how to pronounce it.
333
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:09,429
So I'll just write it here.
You know.
334
00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:11,231
Barry McCockiner.
335
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,066
Yes!
That's...
336
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:15,360
Gotta be how you pronounce it,
thank you.
337
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:18,271
I can't believe
we went with that cliche.
338
00:12:18,396 --> 00:12:19,672
Barry McCockiner?
339
00:12:19,797 --> 00:12:21,807
- [Scoffs]
- That's weak, dude.
340
00:12:21,932 --> 00:12:23,109
I know, I know.
341
00:12:23,234 --> 00:12:24,643
And I just thought of a good one.
342
00:12:24,768 --> 00:12:25,787
Like, just now.
343
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,246
I've been thinking of great ones
344
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,747
ever since he went in there.
345
00:12:28,872 --> 00:12:32,409
Yeah, but it's too late now, right?
346
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:35,964
I did that earlier.
347
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:40,059
It's something-town Julie brown.
348
00:12:40,184 --> 00:12:42,517
And I know it's not uptown,
'cause I would remember that.
349
00:12:42,642 --> 00:12:43,722
It's like...
[Phone vibrating]
350
00:12:44,422 --> 00:12:46,765
Uh...
[Laughing]
351
00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:49,102
Down.
Thanks for the help.
352
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:50,736
Okay, psst.
Ders.
353
00:12:50,861 --> 00:12:52,605
- Ders, if you can hear me...
- Appreciate it.
354
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,149
- Forget Barry McCockiner, Ders.
- I'm gonna go.
355
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,692
- Wait.
- We're going with Yerpa.
356
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:56,976
- First name Yerpa.
- Shh!
357
00:12:57,101 --> 00:12:58,478
C. Stinks.
Yerpa C. Stinks.
358
00:12:58,603 --> 00:12:59,812
- You get it?
- Yeah, yeah.
359
00:12:59,937 --> 00:13:01,906
Or try Ivana Jizinu.
360
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:04,317
Uh, it's a Russian-Japanese
girl, if he asks.
361
00:13:04,442 --> 00:13:06,119
- Ivana Jizinu.
- Ivana.
362
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,121
Hit him with the Ivana first.
363
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,556
Yeah, we just felt like
Barry McCockiner
364
00:13:10,681 --> 00:13:12,492
has been, like, played out
a little bit.
365
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:14,294
Like, I felt like
I've seen it places.
366
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,862
- Ders?
- Gentlemen!
367
00:13:16,987 --> 00:13:20,399
Please join us in my office.
368
00:13:20,524 --> 00:13:22,735
Sorry.
369
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:23,928
Yes.
370
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:34,939
{pub}I am gonna take
my boss hat off for a second,
371
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:37,792
because at the end of the day...
372
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:39,569
We're all just men, right?
373
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,295
- Ha. Yeah, don't...
- yeah.
374
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:42,764
Don't let the hair fool ya.
375
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:45,450
[Laughing]
'cause of your longer... yes.
376
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:46,951
So let's try and act like men.
377
00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:49,579
Quit sneaking around my office,
378
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,006
playing little games.
379
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:53,333
That's not what men do.
380
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,043
And I know...
381
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:57,629
Because I am a real man.
382
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,906
- Yeah.
- Yes.
383
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,094
Do you see what I mean?
384
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,056
Not even that big, right?
385
00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:10,724
- Very average-size.
- Surprisingly.
386
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:12,193
- 'cause you're tall.
- Yeah, 'cause you're a big man.
387
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:14,062
You'd think it'd be...
388
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:15,605
but at least
I'm putting it out there.
389
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,023
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes, you are.
390
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:18,816
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you are.
391
00:14:18,982 --> 00:14:21,903
Now... Are you guys real men?
392
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,696
- Yeah.
- Are you?
393
00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:25,823
- Yeah.
- Totally, yeah.
394
00:14:25,989 --> 00:14:29,327
Then whip it out.
395
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:32,121
Get your dick outta your pants now!
396
00:14:32,287 --> 00:14:34,315
Are you men or not?
397
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,416
Show it!
398
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:38,294
- No.
- That's what I figured.
399
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,837
Now...
400
00:14:40,003 --> 00:14:42,623
Let's finish the day strong, okay?
401
00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:45,468
Make some sales, hmm?
402
00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:47,387
All right.
Yeah.
403
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,796
- Yes.
- Okay, good.
404
00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:51,391
- Get back to work.
- Get back to work.
405
00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:58,898
What do you think you're doing?
406
00:14:59,598 --> 00:15:01,025
My hair.
407
00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:03,403
Well, you better rinse it out
before Travis sees it!
408
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,103
What's happening here?
409
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,532
This is not the Telamericorp
that I used to know.
410
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:11,285
I look around, I recognize nothing!
411
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:14,080
Where's all the smiles, the giggling?
412
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,723
Can somebody tell me
where the giggling at, huh?
413
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:17,166
Jesse!
414
00:15:17,332 --> 00:15:20,712
If you wanna talk,
step into my office.
415
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,730
Travis, before you got here,
416
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,424
we was all friends.
417
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,000
Work was fun.
418
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:27,677
We used to love to walk
through that door.
419
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:31,598
But now, since you been here,
this place is sorry!
420
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,642
Jesse!
Calm down.
421
00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:36,227
Jet!
422
00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:39,022
My name is Jet motherfucking Set!
423
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,608
But you can call me Patrick Swayze.
424
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,360
'cause guess what?
I'm ghost.
425
00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:47,621
Now gimme my goddamn cactus.
426
00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:48,906
Have a good day.
427
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,092
See y'all later,
Montez, Waymond, all y'all.
428
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:53,527
Ders, Adams, Blake.
429
00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:55,371
Jillian.
430
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,165
Okay, that happened.
431
00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:00,291
Now back to work!
432
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:06,740
Okay.
That happened.
433
00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:08,092
Now back to work!
434
00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:11,971
Show's over.
Back to work!
435
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:16,341
[Birds chirping]
436
00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,605
Jillian still has those birds.
437
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,649
She thinks she's above the law.
438
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,226
Well, she just got marked for death.
439
00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:28,095
I'm gonna throw that cage
off the roof.
440
00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:30,531
No, no, no, no, no.
I got a better idea.
441
00:16:30,697 --> 00:16:33,326
Maybe we should rattle Travis' cage.
442
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:45,046
[Birds chirping]
443
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,185
Ah!
444
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,010
Geez! Ah!
Hyah!
445
00:16:53,428 --> 00:16:55,890
[Sputtering]
446
00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:57,141
[Yells]
447
00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:58,475
[All screaming]
448
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,145
[Laughing]
449
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:03,898
No!
450
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,723
Fiona Apple!
451
00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:08,793
- Marty McFly!
- Ha!
452
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,491
- Jimmy Kimmel!
- Ha! Ha!
453
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:15,159
Oh! Jimmy Fallon!
The Jimmies!
454
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:16,661
[Yelling]
455
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:22,458
[Parrot squawking]
456
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,962
No.
457
00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:29,090
[All exclaim]
458
00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:34,462
Can I please speak
with a Ms. Janet Paulson?
459
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:36,139
I'll speak with anyone in the house.
460
00:17:50,343 --> 00:17:52,153
{pub}Jillian, I don't know
what you want, all right?
461
00:17:52,278 --> 00:17:53,781
We didn't do anything.
It wasn't us.
462
00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:56,117
I need to apologize to you guys.
463
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:57,493
I done fricked up, okay?
464
00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,160
I turned my back on you,
465
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:02,096
and I let Travis
take advantage of my innocence.
466
00:18:02,221 --> 00:18:03,958
But then he went and killed
my baby birds.
467
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:05,585
What?
Those were babies?
468
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,128
No, eggs are baby birds.
469
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:09,672
No, eggs are baby chickens.
470
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:10,715
Everyone's wrong.
471
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:13,308
Guys, he's been recording
your every move.
472
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,261
Okay, there's cameras in the plants.
473
00:18:15,769 --> 00:18:18,146
And he put me in charge
of surveillance.
474
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:21,182
I'm so, so, so...
I'm so, so, so, so sorry.
475
00:18:21,307 --> 00:18:23,186
Whoa! She's not kidding.
There's a tiny camera in here.
476
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,521
- Oh, my God.
- Feel like a tattle rat.
477
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:26,821
Oh, my gosh.
478
00:18:26,946 --> 00:18:28,356
If Earth Pets saw footage
479
00:18:28,481 --> 00:18:29,658
of that dude duck hunting
those birds out there,
480
00:18:29,783 --> 00:18:31,159
they would be pissed!
481
00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:32,987
We need your help
and Jet Set's hair cream.
482
00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:35,406
- [Banging]
- Coming in, Trav.
483
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,432
We're here to tell you you're
about to get a video chat call
484
00:18:37,557 --> 00:18:38,833
from the people at Earth Pets.
485
00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:41,169
Yeah, I guess they got
some surveillance video
486
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:44,373
of a certain executive
shooting birds.
487
00:18:44,539 --> 00:18:45,750
Hmm, that'd be crazy.
488
00:18:46,065 --> 00:18:47,208
And I wouldn't say
they didn't like it...
489
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:49,010
Because they didn't not like it.
490
00:18:49,135 --> 00:18:53,132
'cause they loved hating it
and not liking it at all.
491
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,426
Wha...
[Computer chiming]
492
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:56,761
Oh, you might wanna answer that.
493
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,596
"Oh, no, I'm fired."
494
00:18:59,862 --> 00:19:01,682
Travis Rockne
of T.A.C. here.
495
00:19:01,906 --> 00:19:04,143
Hi, Travis.
Bridget McCarthy of Earth Pets.
496
00:19:04,441 --> 00:19:06,019
Hello, Bridget.
497
00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:07,787
I was told you've taken over
for Alice Murphy.
498
00:19:07,912 --> 00:19:09,388
Temporarily.
499
00:19:09,513 --> 00:19:11,190
Alice has moved on
to greener pastures and I'm...
500
00:19:11,315 --> 00:19:13,083
- [Sneeze]
- In the process of looking...
501
00:19:15,278 --> 00:19:17,448
At... for her, uh, replacement.
502
00:19:17,722 --> 00:19:19,098
Well, I hate to tell you this,
503
00:19:19,223 --> 00:19:20,633
but we don't wanna work
with a replacement.
504
00:19:20,758 --> 00:19:23,120
And we surely don't wanna work
with you either.
505
00:19:23,286 --> 00:19:26,172
Bridget, you know how
we value your... your business.
506
00:19:26,297 --> 00:19:28,107
Okay, well, get Alice Murphy back
507
00:19:28,232 --> 00:19:30,169
or you won't have our business,
bird killer!
508
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:32,270
Bird killer!
509
00:19:34,105 --> 00:19:36,315
You see our dicks, right?
510
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,117
Mine's getting cold,
so I'm gonna put it away.
511
00:19:38,242 --> 00:19:39,719
- Yeah, it's a little cold.
- You keep it cold in here.
512
00:19:39,844 --> 00:19:41,153
Very chilly!
513
00:19:41,278 --> 00:19:42,488
So they're not as big
as they should be.
514
00:19:42,613 --> 00:19:44,090
- Very chilly.
- But they were out.
515
00:19:44,215 --> 00:19:46,143
Let it be known
they're out, we're men.
516
00:19:46,309 --> 00:19:47,513
- So...
- okay.
517
00:19:49,353 --> 00:19:51,130
- [Laughter]
- That's right, bitches.
518
00:19:51,255 --> 00:19:52,565
I'm back.
519
00:19:52,690 --> 00:19:54,734
What is that piss smell in here?
520
00:19:54,859 --> 00:19:56,135
- Jillian.
- Hi! Good to see you.
521
00:19:56,260 --> 00:19:57,670
- You look great.
- Shut up.
522
00:19:57,795 --> 00:19:59,031
- I'd love to.
- Couple of things.
523
00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:01,492
I need you to confirm my flight
to Playa Del Carmen.
524
00:20:01,799 --> 00:20:04,110
And I need you to find
those little birds.
525
00:20:04,235 --> 00:20:06,580
I gotta do a video chat
with Earth Pets in a second.
526
00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:10,249
Oh, uh, well, Alice...
527
00:20:10,374 --> 00:20:12,712
actually, we kind of still have them.
528
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,463
We're just glad
to have you back, Alice.
529
00:20:14,629 --> 00:20:16,465
- [Whistling]
- Well, uh, Bridget,
530
00:20:16,631 --> 00:20:17,591
- I just can't wait...
- Ba-caw!
531
00:20:17,757 --> 00:20:19,592
To be getting back, and I promise
532
00:20:19,717 --> 00:20:21,137
I'll contact you next week,
okay, gal pal?
533
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:22,888
- Ba-caw!
- See you later. Bye!
534
00:20:23,054 --> 00:20:24,563
- Okay.
- Ba-caw!
535
00:20:24,688 --> 00:20:25,766
Okay, okay, okay.
We're done.
536
00:20:25,932 --> 00:20:27,435
- Yeah.
- She's gone.
537
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:28,668
Cool.
538
00:20:28,793 --> 00:20:30,169
Hey, Alice, uh,
the lady on your computer,
539
00:20:30,294 --> 00:20:33,039
- she's not wrong.
- That's really nice.
540
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,609
Now why don't you get these
goddamn dead birds off of me...
541
00:20:35,775 --> 00:20:36,776
- Sure.
- And get back to work?
542
00:20:36,901 --> 00:20:37,611
- Sorry.
- How about that?
543
00:20:37,777 --> 00:20:38,821
I'm gonna keep this one.
544
00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:39,780
- It was fun.
- Oh, hey.
545
00:20:39,946 --> 00:20:41,324
Can we get our airsoft guns back?
546
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:43,082
Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure.
No problem.
547
00:20:43,207 --> 00:20:45,752
Thank you.
[All talking]
548
00:20:45,877 --> 00:20:47,371
[All screaming]
549
00:20:47,678 --> 00:20:48,873
Whoa!
Whoa!
550
00:20:49,346 --> 00:20:50,624
Yeah!
551
00:20:52,449 --> 00:20:54,253
God, I wish this was real.
552
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:58,257
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com