1
00:00:02,653 --> 00:00:04,329
Sheldon, your food's
getting cold.
2
00:00:04,331 --> 00:00:05,747
I'll eat later.
3
00:00:05,749 --> 00:00:06,949
Right now, I'm suckling
4
00:00:06,951 --> 00:00:09,284
at the informative bosom
of mother physics.
5
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,154
It's hot when
Sheldon talks dirty.
6
00:00:14,991 --> 00:00:18,427
So, I found this Web site
where you send them pictures,
7
00:00:18,429 --> 00:00:19,594
they sculpt your head
8
00:00:19,596 --> 00:00:21,596
and make an action figure
out of you.
9
00:00:21,598 --> 00:00:22,597
How awesome is that?
10
00:00:22,599 --> 00:00:23,715
Oh, let me see.
11
00:00:23,717 --> 00:00:24,800
Yeah, you can pick
your wardrobe.
12
00:00:24,802 --> 00:00:26,468
You can even choose
your accessories.
13
00:00:26,470 --> 00:00:27,636
(chuckles)
14
00:00:27,638 --> 00:00:31,473
Leonard, you can get
a little asthma inhaler.
15
00:00:32,442 --> 00:00:33,775
Oh, this is neat.
16
00:00:33,777 --> 00:00:35,310
Think about all
the action figures
17
00:00:35,312 --> 00:00:36,511
we've bought over the years.
18
00:00:36,513 --> 00:00:39,281
It would be kind of cool
to have ones that look like us.
19
00:00:39,283 --> 00:00:40,515
Don't you think?
20
00:00:43,369 --> 00:00:45,237
Yeah, if that's your idea
of what's cool,
21
00:00:45,239 --> 00:00:47,188
you should get one.
22
00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:49,541
Yeah, so, I'm out.
23
00:00:50,860 --> 00:00:52,244
What do you think,
Sheldon?
24
00:00:52,246 --> 00:00:54,162
Want an action figure
that looks just like you?
25
00:00:54,164 --> 00:00:56,064
Would it come with kung-fu grip?
26
00:00:56,066 --> 00:00:57,432
No.
27
00:00:57,434 --> 00:00:59,584
Don't waste my time.
28
00:01:00,803 --> 00:01:03,672
You get that these are
personalize action figures.
29
00:01:03,674 --> 00:01:06,008
Honey, if you want one,
just get one.
30
00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:07,309
You're still
out, right?
31
00:01:07,311 --> 00:01:09,394
Yep.
32
00:01:09,396 --> 00:01:12,931
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
33
00:01:12,933 --> 00:01:16,818
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
34
00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:18,353
♪ The Earth began to cool
35
00:01:18,355 --> 00:01:20,906
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
36
00:01:20,908 --> 00:01:23,141
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
37
00:01:23,143 --> 00:01:25,861
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
38
00:01:25,863 --> 00:01:27,913
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
39
00:01:27,915 --> 00:01:29,564
♪ Bang! ♪
40
00:01:29,565 --> 00:01:33,565
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x14 ♪
The Cooper/Kripke Inversion
Original Air Date on January 31, 2013
41
00:01:33,566 --> 00:01:38,566
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
42
00:01:38,997 --> 00:01:41,282
A hush falls over the crowd
43
00:01:41,284 --> 00:01:44,902
as Cooper studies the board.
44
00:01:44,904 --> 00:01:47,071
He makes his move.
45
00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:48,506
He's dividing both sides by "I."
46
00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:50,424
He's adding back
the coefficient.
47
00:01:50,426 --> 00:01:51,759
He has a value for "P."
48
00:01:51,761 --> 00:01:53,077
He's plugging that back in.
49
00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:54,045
He takes the derivative,
50
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:55,179
and he solves the equation.
51
00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:56,297
The crowd goes wild.
52
00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:57,398
Nobel! Nobel!
53
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,934
Cooper?
54
00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:01,018
Nobel.
55
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:02,186
Kripke.
56
00:02:03,488 --> 00:02:05,806
Don't look at my board.
57
00:02:07,109 --> 00:02:09,026
What's that?
58
00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:11,479
That's a drawing
of a really cool train.
59
00:02:11,481 --> 00:02:12,847
Don't look at that, either.
60
00:02:12,849 --> 00:02:14,098
What do you want?
61
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,733
I have some
bad news.
62
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:17,118
You're working
on a grant proposal
63
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,569
for a new
fusion reactor.
64
00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:21,539
I'm working on a grant proposal
for a new fusion reactor.
65
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:25,126
The university is only allowed
to submit one proposal.
66
00:02:25,128 --> 00:02:27,895
So they asked you to pack up
your things and ship out.
67
00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:29,297
That's hard cheese, Barry.
68
00:02:29,299 --> 00:02:30,898
You're one of the good ones.
69
00:02:31,783 --> 00:02:35,836
No, they're making us
work together.
70
00:02:35,838 --> 00:02:38,389
That's ridiculous.
71
00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:40,675
I am one of the great minds
of our generation.
72
00:02:40,677 --> 00:02:42,843
I work on a level so rarified
73
00:02:42,845 --> 00:02:44,312
you couldn't
even imagine it.
74
00:02:44,314 --> 00:02:47,565
I said stop looking
at my cool train!
75
00:02:49,735 --> 00:02:50,735
Hmm.
76
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:51,802
Kind of a strange place
77
00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:53,487
to put a picture of you
and Bernadette.
78
00:02:53,489 --> 00:02:58,526
Well, I wanted everybody
to know I love my wife.
79
00:02:58,528 --> 00:03:01,812
And nobody to know I forgot
to turn off the laser.
80
00:03:06,134 --> 00:03:07,234
They're here.
81
00:03:07,236 --> 00:03:08,953
Our action figures
have arrived.
82
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:11,488
This is the best $500
I've ever spent.
83
00:03:11,490 --> 00:03:13,374
$1,000 on action figures?
84
00:03:13,376 --> 00:03:15,209
How can you afford that?
85
00:03:15,211 --> 00:03:16,660
Easy-- his family's loaded,
86
00:03:16,662 --> 00:03:18,662
and Bernadette has a great job.
87
00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:21,498
My wife came with both
fun bags and money bags.
88
00:03:22,718 --> 00:03:27,138
Say hello to an exact
scale model of me.
89
00:03:32,311 --> 00:03:35,730
Oh, I'm not dark chocolate.
90
00:03:35,732 --> 00:03:38,616
I'm melt-in-your-mouth caramel.
91
00:03:39,484 --> 00:03:42,403
Oh, man.
92
00:03:45,874 --> 00:03:48,859
Look at my nose.
93
00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:50,661
Maybe it's a shipping problem.
94
00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:52,296
What?
Yeah.
95
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,748
Maybe Wesley Snipes
and Toucan Sam
96
00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:56,033
just got action figures
that look like you guys.
97
00:03:58,470 --> 00:03:59,703
This sucks.
98
00:03:59,705 --> 00:04:01,389
I can't believe
I wasted all that money.
99
00:04:01,391 --> 00:04:04,558
Aw, and my girlfriend
wouldn't let me get one.
100
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:05,843
(Leonard chuckles)
101
00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:07,862
Look at my face.
102
00:04:07,864 --> 00:04:10,214
Do I look smug?
I feel smug.
103
00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:15,987
I hate it when you make me
sit through all the credits.
104
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,105
Well, sometimes there's
a secret ending,
105
00:04:18,107 --> 00:04:19,824
like in The Avengers.
106
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,742
Yeah, but I don't think
that's going to happen
107
00:04:21,744 --> 00:04:24,412
in a documentary
about the Holocaust.
108
00:04:25,664 --> 00:04:27,615
They could
show bloopers.
109
00:04:27,617 --> 00:04:30,451
(Darth Vader's theme music
from Star Wars playing)
110
00:04:30,453 --> 00:04:31,568
Oh, no.
111
00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:32,670
What is that?
112
00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:34,171
That is Sheldon's
113
00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:38,125
"I'm unhappy and about
to destroy the planet" music.
114
00:04:38,127 --> 00:04:40,261
Come on, let's just go
to your place.
115
00:04:40,263 --> 00:04:42,413
Well, wait, if he's unhappy,
shouldn't we talk to him?
116
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:43,464
"Shouldn't we talk to him?"
117
00:04:43,466 --> 00:04:46,017
Have you learned nothing
in six years?
118
00:04:52,324 --> 00:04:54,191
You doing okay, sweetie?
119
00:04:57,179 --> 00:04:59,113
There is ominous music playing,
120
00:04:59,115 --> 00:05:01,315
and there is an afghan
over my head.
121
00:05:01,317 --> 00:05:02,717
I don't know where you're from,
122
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,952
but where I'm from,
that means I'm not doing okay.
123
00:05:05,821 --> 00:05:07,955
Want me to make
you some tea?
124
00:05:07,957 --> 00:05:10,224
Tea is for when I'm upset.
I'm not upset.
125
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:13,110
The university's forcing me
to work with Kripke.
126
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:14,611
I'm outraged.
127
00:05:14,613 --> 00:05:17,214
So, cocoa?
128
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:18,782
Yes, cocoa.
129
00:05:20,752 --> 00:05:23,454
Do you have any idea what
it's like to be paired
130
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:25,756
with someone who's so
incredibly annoying?
131
00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:28,008
Oh, teacher! Me! Me!
132
00:05:30,829 --> 00:05:32,296
See, I did all this great work,
133
00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:34,565
and now he's just going to
come along and ruin it.
134
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:36,734
I am angrier than ever
and filled with despair.
135
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:39,153
What beverage
do you make for that?
136
00:05:39,155 --> 00:05:41,939
Oh... no, no, no, I know this.
137
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:43,124
Uh...
138
00:05:43,126 --> 00:05:44,575
hot apple cider
with cinnamon sticks?
139
00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:46,994
Yes, hot apple cider
with cinnamon sticks!
140
00:05:51,883 --> 00:05:53,984
What the frig, Cooper?
141
00:05:53,986 --> 00:05:54,952
We were
supposed to meet
142
00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:57,321
in my office
a half an hour ago.
143
00:05:57,323 --> 00:05:59,673
And yet,
now you're in my office.
144
00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:02,159
Point: Cooper.
145
00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:04,512
Welcome to the Thunderdome,
Kripke.
146
00:06:04,514 --> 00:06:07,681
We agreed to exchange
copies of our work.
147
00:06:07,683 --> 00:06:08,766
Let me see yours.
148
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:11,936
Why don't you show me
yours first.
149
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:14,972
You think I just fell
off the turnip truck?
150
00:06:16,191 --> 00:06:17,858
We exchange at the same time.
151
00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:20,628
How do I know you're not
going to take my ideas
152
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,163
and publish them
as your own?
153
00:06:22,165 --> 00:06:24,064
How do I know you're not
going to do that with mine?
154
00:06:24,066 --> 00:06:25,182
Yeah, because I'm not interested
155
00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:26,867
in getting published
in Mad magazine.
156
00:06:29,070 --> 00:06:31,956
Zingers fly fast
in the Thunderdome, Barry.
157
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,792
Are we going
to do this or not?
158
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:36,327
Thank you.
159
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,212
So, we read each other's work,
meet again tomorrow?
160
00:06:38,214 --> 00:06:40,364
Fine.
161
00:06:43,585 --> 00:06:46,220
Nice try.
This is blank paper.
162
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:48,222
And I am sure it's
still more valuable
163
00:06:48,224 --> 00:06:49,706
than whatever's in here.
164
00:06:49,708 --> 00:06:52,593
Cough it up, Cooper.
165
00:06:52,595 --> 00:06:54,145
Very well.
166
00:06:59,184 --> 00:07:02,987
If this one's blank, too,
I'm going to be furious.
167
00:07:04,789 --> 00:07:06,323
Fine.
168
00:07:15,367 --> 00:07:16,734
You!
169
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:19,003
Always bet on black.
170
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:22,173
Get that waste of money
out of my face.
171
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,924
It's only a
waste of money
172
00:07:23,926 --> 00:07:26,210
if we don't
play with them.
173
00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:27,744
He's right, dawg.
174
00:07:29,598 --> 00:07:31,048
Please, I'm working.
175
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:34,385
You know, there is a way
we can get action figures
176
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:35,936
to look exactly
like us.
177
00:07:35,938 --> 00:07:37,104
Oh, yeah?
How's that?
178
00:07:37,106 --> 00:07:38,189
Two words:
179
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,357
3-D printer.
180
00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:41,942
Wait, maybe it's three words.
181
00:07:41,944 --> 00:07:43,394
No, hang on.
182
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:46,697
Okay, one word, a letter
and a number and...
183
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:48,232
maybe a hyphen.
184
00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:50,401
3-D printer.
185
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,737
I have always wanted
a 3-D printer.
186
00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:55,122
Of course you have.
187
00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:56,240
They're an
engineer's dream.
188
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:57,374
Anything you can design,
189
00:07:57,376 --> 00:07:59,610
a 3-D printer can make
out of plastic.
190
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,912
Yeah, but they're so expensive.
191
00:08:01,914 --> 00:08:02,963
Oh, come on.
192
00:08:02,965 --> 00:08:04,048
You deserve one.
193
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,499
You've worked hard
to find a woman
194
00:08:05,501 --> 00:08:07,051
who makes a lot of money.
195
00:08:09,087 --> 00:08:11,455
Well, the prices
have been coming down.
196
00:08:11,457 --> 00:08:12,623
Oh, true.
197
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:14,758
They're practically
giving them away.
198
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,745
You know, in exchange for money.
199
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,797
And we can make stuff
we need for work with it.
200
00:08:20,799 --> 00:08:23,434
Prototypes
of my CAD/CAM designs,
201
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,518
specialized tools...
202
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,320
Not to mention
Malibu Koothrappali
203
00:08:26,322 --> 00:08:29,607
and his totally bitchin'
dream house.
204
00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:32,809
We don't need Malibu
Koothrappali's dream house.
205
00:08:32,811 --> 00:08:34,194
Really, smart guy?
206
00:08:34,196 --> 00:08:36,747
Where's he supposed to park
his sweet little Corvette?
207
00:08:39,034 --> 00:08:43,487
The monkey in my tobacco study
has taken to smoking a pipe.
208
00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:46,823
I'm supposed to remove
his brain to examine,
209
00:08:46,825 --> 00:08:49,677
but it's hard because now he
reminds me of my uncle.
210
00:08:52,297 --> 00:08:54,014
You've been
awfully quiet tonight.
211
00:08:54,016 --> 00:08:55,332
Is everything okay?
212
00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:57,601
I'm fine.
213
00:08:57,603 --> 00:09:00,387
All right, well,
how was work today?
214
00:09:00,389 --> 00:09:02,640
Did you exchange your research
with Kripke?
215
00:09:04,476 --> 00:09:06,360
Yes.
216
00:09:06,362 --> 00:09:08,845
Sheldon, what's going on?
217
00:09:10,231 --> 00:09:14,184
I read his research, and...
218
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:17,521
it's leaps and bounds
ahead of mine.
219
00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:20,541
Which means the mommy
of the smartest physicist
220
00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:25,629
at the university is not
my mommy as I had thought.
221
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:27,548
It's his mommy.
222
00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:31,135
Sheldon, I wish there was
something I could do
223
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,636
to make you feel better.
224
00:09:34,255 --> 00:09:36,006
May I offer you a consoling hug?
225
00:09:37,208 --> 00:09:38,726
What do we have to lose?
226
00:09:45,433 --> 00:09:48,268
How's that?
227
00:09:48,270 --> 00:09:51,221
I feel like I'm being strangled
by a boa constrictor.
228
00:09:54,192 --> 00:09:57,027
Why'd you stop?
229
00:10:05,461 --> 00:10:08,796
Come on, Sheldon!
We're going to be late!
230
00:10:08,798 --> 00:10:11,682
I can't go in today.
I'm sick.
231
00:10:11,684 --> 00:10:12,784
You're not sick.
232
00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:14,001
You just don't want
to face Kripke.
233
00:10:14,003 --> 00:10:16,487
No, look.
234
00:10:18,190 --> 00:10:22,026
128.
235
00:10:23,695 --> 00:10:25,513
See?
236
00:10:25,515 --> 00:10:27,815
What did you do,
put this in your tea?
237
00:10:27,817 --> 00:10:29,700
Oh, dear.
238
00:10:29,702 --> 00:10:32,787
Now I'm not even smarter
than you.
239
00:10:32,789 --> 00:10:35,289
Sheldon, Kripke's not
smarter than you.
240
00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:37,041
You just got stuck
on a wrong path.
241
00:10:37,043 --> 00:10:38,276
Happened to Einstein.
242
00:10:38,278 --> 00:10:40,912
He got stuck on the unified
field theory for decades.
243
00:10:40,914 --> 00:10:42,863
Oh, don't play
the Einstein card.
244
00:10:42,865 --> 00:10:45,133
His great breakthroughs happened
when no one knew anything.
245
00:10:45,135 --> 00:10:47,635
So everything
was a great breakthrough.
246
00:10:47,637 --> 00:10:48,920
Sheldon Lee Cooper,
247
00:10:48,922 --> 00:10:50,638
I do not have time
for this nonsense.
248
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,757
Now, go put your clothes on,
get in the car,
249
00:10:52,759 --> 00:10:54,342
and lets go to work.
250
00:10:55,210 --> 00:10:58,096
All right, geez.
251
00:10:58,098 --> 00:10:59,647
What a grouch.
252
00:11:02,551 --> 00:11:03,935
How did I do that?
253
00:11:03,937 --> 00:11:06,687
I got to remember
how I did that.
254
00:11:07,773 --> 00:11:10,158
Do you realize, by
owning a 3-D printer,
255
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,077
we are reclaiming
the manufacturing process
256
00:11:13,079 --> 00:11:16,998
and taking jobs back
from sweatshops in China?
257
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,401
I think this thing
was made in China.
258
00:11:21,236 --> 00:11:23,254
Eh, what can you do?
259
00:11:23,256 --> 00:11:25,923
Ooh, I-I think it's done.
260
00:11:27,176 --> 00:11:28,576
(gasps)
261
00:11:28,578 --> 00:11:29,760
It worked!
262
00:11:29,762 --> 00:11:32,763
We printed a whistle.
263
00:11:33,632 --> 00:11:35,216
Amazing.
264
00:11:35,218 --> 00:11:37,251
You realize these things
go for 25 cents a pop
265
00:11:37,253 --> 00:11:38,419
at a party store.
266
00:11:38,421 --> 00:11:40,721
And we made it
in only three hours.
267
00:11:40,723 --> 00:11:42,056
(whistles)
268
00:11:42,058 --> 00:11:43,141
(inhales)
269
00:11:43,143 --> 00:11:45,393
Sounds just like
store-bought.
270
00:11:46,395 --> 00:11:50,264
Okay, give me
a superhero pose,
271
00:11:50,266 --> 00:11:51,532
and I will scan you
272
00:11:51,534 --> 00:11:53,234
into the computer
for your action figure.
273
00:11:53,236 --> 00:11:54,318
(inhales)
274
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,070
Oh, I wish I was
in better shape.
275
00:11:56,072 --> 00:11:57,038
(laughs)
276
00:11:58,540 --> 00:11:59,824
Stop holding
your stomach in.
277
00:11:59,826 --> 00:12:02,776
I'll give you a six-pack
with the computer.
278
00:12:02,778 --> 00:12:04,162
Oh, okay, great.
279
00:12:04,164 --> 00:12:06,497
Now I can look
like Val Kilmer as Batman
280
00:12:06,499 --> 00:12:09,283
instead of Val Kilmer
as he looks today.
281
00:12:09,285 --> 00:12:11,919
(exhales)
282
00:12:11,921 --> 00:12:14,472
All right, you can
suck it in a little bit.
283
00:12:17,809 --> 00:12:19,727
Cooper, we have a problem.
284
00:12:19,729 --> 00:12:21,479
Your work is really not
285
00:12:21,481 --> 00:12:23,514
at a level
I expected it to be.
286
00:12:23,516 --> 00:12:25,349
I know.
287
00:12:25,351 --> 00:12:26,934
Go ahead, mock me.
288
00:12:26,936 --> 00:12:29,904
Just use small words
so I understand.
289
00:12:30,772 --> 00:12:32,156
Don't play dumb
with me.
290
00:12:32,158 --> 00:12:34,075
We both know
what your problem is.
291
00:12:34,077 --> 00:12:35,676
We do?
292
00:12:35,678 --> 00:12:37,328
You have a girlfriend.
293
00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:38,979
So?
294
00:12:38,981 --> 00:12:40,915
So my work would suffer, too,
295
00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:44,252
if I was getting laid
all the time.
296
00:12:48,524 --> 00:12:50,258
Yes.
297
00:12:51,743 --> 00:12:53,945
That is the reason.
298
00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:58,516
My work is suffering
because of...
299
00:12:58,518 --> 00:13:00,935
all the laid I'm getting.
300
00:13:02,938 --> 00:13:05,022
You lucky bastard.
301
00:13:05,024 --> 00:13:07,558
What can I say, you know?
302
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:10,177
She enjoys my genitals.
303
00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:14,699
I am giving them to her
on a nightly basis.
304
00:13:15,651 --> 00:13:18,069
Okay, stop bragging.
305
00:13:18,071 --> 00:13:20,238
You had some brilliant
insights in here,
306
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,455
but if we're gonna
make this work,
307
00:13:21,457 --> 00:13:23,324
you need to buckle down
and focus.
308
00:13:23,326 --> 00:13:24,875
I'll do what I can.
309
00:13:24,877 --> 00:13:28,246
But it's not going to be easy,
because when I'm with Amy
310
00:13:28,248 --> 00:13:32,149
and our bathing suit areas
mush together...
311
00:13:32,151 --> 00:13:34,635
boy howdy, is it magic
312
00:13:41,827 --> 00:13:44,895
Oh, good,
you're home.
313
00:13:44,897 --> 00:13:47,131
Got a little
surprise for you.
314
00:13:47,133 --> 00:13:48,316
What?
315
00:13:48,318 --> 00:13:49,400
Say hello
316
00:13:49,402 --> 00:13:51,569
to my little friend.
317
00:13:54,072 --> 00:13:57,391
Oh, my God.
318
00:13:57,393 --> 00:13:58,743
That's so cute.
319
00:13:58,745 --> 00:14:01,562
I didn't think there could be
a smaller version of you.
320
00:14:01,564 --> 00:14:03,197
(laughs)
321
00:14:04,065 --> 00:14:05,750
I know, right?
322
00:14:05,752 --> 00:14:07,568
And, thanks
to photographs
323
00:14:07,570 --> 00:14:09,170
and a little
3-D modeling,
324
00:14:09,172 --> 00:14:11,872
here comes the bride.
325
00:14:12,674 --> 00:14:14,959
Oh, Howie,
I love these.
326
00:14:14,961 --> 00:14:15,960
I thought you might.
327
00:14:15,962 --> 00:14:17,678
Were they expensive?
328
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:19,213
Didn't cost a thing.
I made them myself.
329
00:14:19,215 --> 00:14:20,765
How?
Koothrappali and I
330
00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:24,385
bought a used 3-D printer
for $5,000.
331
00:14:24,387 --> 00:14:25,469
(chuckles)
332
00:14:25,471 --> 00:14:27,921
$5,000 for a
couple of dolls?
333
00:14:27,923 --> 00:14:30,090
Are you out
of your mind?
334
00:14:30,925 --> 00:14:33,594
Not just
a couple of dolls.
335
00:14:33,596 --> 00:14:36,230
For as many dolls
as we want.
336
00:14:37,733 --> 00:14:40,234
And whistles.
337
00:14:40,236 --> 00:14:43,237
At any point, did it dawn
on you to talk to me
338
00:14:43,239 --> 00:14:45,039
about spending this
kind of money?
339
00:14:45,941 --> 00:14:48,109
It's kind of
dawning on me now.
340
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,128
I don't believe you!
341
00:14:51,130 --> 00:14:54,131
Howie, we can't afford to waste
money on junk like this.
342
00:14:54,133 --> 00:14:56,083
What are you talking about?
343
00:14:56,085 --> 00:14:57,752
We make plenty
of money.
344
00:14:57,754 --> 00:14:59,053
I make plenty of money!
345
00:14:59,055 --> 00:15:00,954
You make peanuts!
346
00:15:00,956 --> 00:15:04,342
Yes, but we're married now.
347
00:15:04,344 --> 00:15:05,926
That means, when you
348
00:15:05,928 --> 00:15:08,679
get sick,
I take care of you.
349
00:15:08,681 --> 00:15:11,515
And when you make
a bunch of money,
350
00:15:11,517 --> 00:15:13,801
I get to buy stuff.
351
00:15:14,653 --> 00:15:17,154
Sorry if you
don't like it,
352
00:15:17,156 --> 00:15:19,824
but that's how
love works.
353
00:15:19,826 --> 00:15:22,476
No, here's how
love works.
354
00:15:22,478 --> 00:15:24,028
You're gonna return
the machine,
355
00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:26,364
or you can print out a
working set of lady parts
356
00:15:26,366 --> 00:15:27,815
and sleep with those.
357
00:15:29,868 --> 00:15:32,420
Oh, my God! Are you
actually thinking about it?
358
00:15:36,007 --> 00:15:37,324
All right, I don't understand.
359
00:15:37,326 --> 00:15:39,176
Why didn't you just
tell Kripke the truth?
360
00:15:39,178 --> 00:15:41,879
Because the truth
made me look bad,
361
00:15:41,881 --> 00:15:44,832
whereas a ridiculous bald-faced
lie makes me look good.
362
00:15:45,717 --> 00:15:46,717
Anyway,
363
00:15:46,719 --> 00:15:48,001
if Kripke asks,
364
00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:50,388
tell him my coitus with Amy
is frequent,
365
00:15:50,390 --> 00:15:53,407
intense and whimsically
inventive.
366
00:15:59,698 --> 00:16:02,283
Is my coitus
whimsically inventive?
367
00:16:03,235 --> 00:16:05,369
That is what I write
on the bathroom walls.
368
00:16:05,371 --> 00:16:07,121
"For a whimsically
inventive time,
369
00:16:07,123 --> 00:16:08,322
call Leonard Hofstadter."
370
00:16:08,324 --> 00:16:10,157
(laughs)
371
00:16:11,526 --> 00:16:13,461
I know you're joking,
but I'd be okay with that.
372
00:16:13,486 --> 00:16:14,877
Yeah.
373
00:16:15,630 --> 00:16:17,214
Sheldon, can I ask you
a question?
374
00:16:17,216 --> 00:16:19,333
Of course.
You ever going to sleep with Amy?
375
00:16:22,671 --> 00:16:24,271
That's awfully personal.
376
00:16:24,273 --> 00:16:25,840
We don't ask Sheldon
things like that.
377
00:16:25,842 --> 00:16:27,040
Maybe you don't; I do.
378
00:16:27,042 --> 00:16:28,208
What's the deal?
379
00:16:29,411 --> 00:16:31,879
Well, word around the university
380
00:16:31,881 --> 00:16:35,116
is I'm giving her sex organs
a proper jostling.
381
00:16:35,118 --> 00:16:36,767
All right, come on,
be serious.
382
00:16:36,769 --> 00:16:39,019
Look, you guys have been
going out a long time.
383
00:16:39,021 --> 00:16:40,488
She would clearly like
384
00:16:40,490 --> 00:16:42,239
to have a physical
relationship with you,
385
00:16:42,241 --> 00:16:43,858
so what are you doing?
386
00:16:43,860 --> 00:16:45,392
All right, we're down
the rabbit hole.
387
00:16:45,394 --> 00:16:47,027
What are you doing?
388
00:16:47,029 --> 00:16:50,698
Well, first of all,
I'm quite fond of Amy.
389
00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:52,199
Then what's
the problem?
390
00:16:52,201 --> 00:16:54,351
Penny...
391
00:16:54,353 --> 00:16:57,705
all my life,
I have been uncomfortable
392
00:16:57,707 --> 00:16:59,423
with the sort
of physical contact
393
00:16:59,425 --> 00:17:01,509
that comes easily
to others--
394
00:17:01,511 --> 00:17:04,145
hand-shaking, hugging,
395
00:17:04,147 --> 00:17:06,046
prostate exams.
396
00:17:09,851 --> 00:17:12,269
But I'm working on it,
you know?
397
00:17:12,271 --> 00:17:16,440
Just recently, I had to put
VapoRub on Amy's chest.
398
00:17:16,442 --> 00:17:19,143
A year ago, that would
have been unthinkable.
399
00:17:19,145 --> 00:17:22,730
Now you know how I feel
when I have to put it on you.
400
00:17:23,949 --> 00:17:25,950
Okay. Hang on.
401
00:17:25,952 --> 00:17:28,903
Are you saying someday
you and Amy might...
402
00:17:28,905 --> 00:17:32,289
actually get physical?
403
00:17:35,026 --> 00:17:36,610
It's a possibility.
404
00:17:39,464 --> 00:17:41,448
(quietly):
Oh, my God!
405
00:17:48,122 --> 00:17:49,673
Sheldon, I know this
wasn't easy for you,
406
00:17:49,675 --> 00:17:51,559
and I'm really glad we could
have this conversation.
407
00:17:51,561 --> 00:17:52,810
Oh, yeah.
408
00:17:53,795 --> 00:17:54,962
Ow!
409
00:18:04,228 --> 00:18:06,180
Are you sure you
want to do this?
410
00:18:06,182 --> 00:18:08,182
Give up your half
of the 3-D printer?
411
00:18:08,184 --> 00:18:09,517
Yes.
412
00:18:09,519 --> 00:18:11,803
And can you please make
that out to Bernadette?
413
00:18:11,805 --> 00:18:13,638
I was taken off
the joint account
414
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,025
until I learn
the value of money.
415
00:18:18,561 --> 00:18:19,944
Wow, that's harsh.
416
00:18:19,946 --> 00:18:22,046
Tell me about it.
417
00:18:22,048 --> 00:18:24,115
(sighs)
Aren't you gonna eat lunch?
418
00:18:24,117 --> 00:18:28,102
Nah, I blew my food allowance
on Pokémon cards.
419
00:18:30,439 --> 00:18:34,092
Well, the equation
balances,
420
00:18:34,094 --> 00:18:35,827
but it's certainly
not elegant.
421
00:18:35,829 --> 00:18:37,945
Whatever.
You get any last night?
422
00:18:40,549 --> 00:18:42,133
Yes.
423
00:18:42,135 --> 00:18:44,552
Gave it to her good, huh?
424
00:18:45,387 --> 00:18:48,139
No, I gave it to her well.
425
00:18:50,626 --> 00:18:52,627
Now, over here,
I was thinking
426
00:18:52,629 --> 00:18:54,596
the turbulence could be
reduced if we just put...
427
00:18:54,598 --> 00:18:55,663
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
428
00:18:55,665 --> 00:18:58,650
Was she naked,
or was she wearing lingerie?
429
00:19:01,754 --> 00:19:03,438
I didn't notice.
430
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:06,807
How could you
not notice?
431
00:19:06,809 --> 00:19:08,409
I was too busy
432
00:19:08,411 --> 00:19:11,479
squishing all the desirable
parts of her body.
433
00:19:11,481 --> 00:19:13,698
Ah, you're killing me, Cooper!
434
00:19:15,117 --> 00:19:17,001
Can we get back to work?
435
00:19:17,003 --> 00:19:19,754
Sure, sure, sure.
436
00:19:20,589 --> 00:19:22,457
You guys ever use any toys?
437
00:19:24,627 --> 00:19:26,160
Toys?
438
00:19:27,463 --> 00:19:30,765
I do have a model rocket
next to my bed.
439
00:19:30,767 --> 00:19:33,772
A rocket?
You're a freak! I love it!
440
00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:38,872
== sync, corrected by elderman ==