1
00:00:02,692 --> 00:00:04,368
Sheldon, your food's
getting cold.
2
00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:05,786
I'll eat later.
3
00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:06,988
Right now, I'm suckling
4
00:00:06,990 --> 00:00:09,323
at the informative bosom
of mother physics.
5
00:00:10,359 --> 00:00:13,193
It's hot when
Sheldon talks dirty.
6
00:00:15,030 --> 00:00:18,466
So, I found this Web site
where you send them pictures,
7
00:00:18,468 --> 00:00:19,633
they sculpt your head
8
00:00:19,635 --> 00:00:21,635
and make an action figure
out of you.
9
00:00:21,637 --> 00:00:22,636
How awesome is that?
10
00:00:22,638 --> 00:00:23,754
Oh, let me see.
11
00:00:23,756 --> 00:00:24,839
Yeah, you can pick
your wardrobe.
12
00:00:24,841 --> 00:00:26,507
You can even choose
your accessories.
13
00:00:26,509 --> 00:00:27,675
(chuckles)
14
00:00:27,677 --> 00:00:31,512
Leonard, you can get
a little asthma inhaler.
15
00:00:32,481 --> 00:00:33,814
Oh, this is neat.
16
00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:35,349
Think about all
the action figures
17
00:00:35,351 --> 00:00:36,550
we've bought over the years.
18
00:00:36,552 --> 00:00:39,320
It would be kind of cool
to have ones that look like us.
19
00:00:39,322 --> 00:00:40,554
Don't you think?
20
00:00:43,408 --> 00:00:45,276
Yeah, if that's your idea
of what's cool,
21
00:00:45,278 --> 00:00:47,227
you should get one.
22
00:00:47,229 --> 00:00:49,580
Yeah, so, I'm out.
23
00:00:50,899 --> 00:00:52,283
What do you think,
Sheldon?
24
00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:54,201
Want an action figure
that looks just like you?
25
00:00:54,203 --> 00:00:56,103
Would it come with kung-fu grip?
26
00:00:56,105 --> 00:00:57,471
No.
27
00:00:57,473 --> 00:00:59,623
Don't waste my time.
28
00:01:00,842 --> 00:01:03,711
You get that these are
personalize action figures.
29
00:01:03,713 --> 00:01:06,047
Honey, if you want one,
just get one.
30
00:01:06,049 --> 00:01:07,348
You're still
out, right?
31
00:01:07,350 --> 00:01:09,433
Yep.
32
00:01:09,435 --> 00:01:12,970
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
33
00:01:12,972 --> 00:01:16,857
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
34
00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:18,392
♪ The Earth began to cool
35
00:01:18,394 --> 00:01:20,945
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
36
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:23,180
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
37
00:01:23,182 --> 00:01:25,900
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
38
00:01:25,902 --> 00:01:27,952
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
39
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:29,603
♪ Bang! ♪
40
00:01:29,604 --> 00:01:32,304
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x14 ♪
The Cooper/Kripke Inversion
Original Air Date on January 31, 2013
41
00:01:32,305 --> 00:01:34,905
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
42
00:01:34,993 --> 00:01:37,278
A hush falls over the crowd
43
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,898
as Cooper studies the board.
44
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:43,067
He makes his move.
45
00:01:43,069 --> 00:01:44,502
He's dividing both sides by "I."
46
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,420
He's adding back
the coefficient.
47
00:01:46,422 --> 00:01:47,755
He has a value for "P."
48
00:01:47,757 --> 00:01:49,073
He's plugging that back in.
49
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:50,041
He takes the derivative,
50
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,175
and he solves the equation.
51
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,293
The crowd goes wild.
52
00:01:52,295 --> 00:01:53,394
Nobel! Nobel!
53
00:01:53,396 --> 00:01:55,930
Cooper?
54
00:01:55,932 --> 00:01:57,014
Nobel.
55
00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:58,182
Kripke.
56
00:01:59,484 --> 00:02:01,802
Don't look at my board.
57
00:02:03,105 --> 00:02:05,022
What's that?
58
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:07,475
That's a drawing
of a really cool train.
59
00:02:07,477 --> 00:02:08,843
Don't look at that, either.
60
00:02:08,845 --> 00:02:10,094
What do you want?
61
00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:11,729
I have some
bad news.
62
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,114
You're working
on a grant proposal
63
00:02:13,116 --> 00:02:14,565
for a new
fusion reactor.
64
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:17,535
I'm working on a grant proposal
for a new fusion reactor.
65
00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:21,122
The university is only allowed
to submit one proposal.
66
00:02:21,124 --> 00:02:23,891
So they asked you to pack up
your things and ship out.
67
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:25,293
That's hard cheese, Barry.
68
00:02:25,295 --> 00:02:26,894
You're one of the good ones.
69
00:02:27,779 --> 00:02:31,832
No, they're making us
work together.
70
00:02:31,834 --> 00:02:34,385
That's ridiculous.
71
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:36,671
I am one of the great minds
of our generation.
72
00:02:36,673 --> 00:02:38,839
I work on a level so rarified
73
00:02:38,841 --> 00:02:40,308
you couldn't
even imagine it.
74
00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:43,561
I said stop looking
at my cool train!
75
00:02:45,731 --> 00:02:46,731
Hmm.
76
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:47,798
Kind of a strange place
77
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,483
to put a picture of you
and Bernadette.
78
00:02:49,485 --> 00:02:54,522
Well, I wanted everybody
to know I love my wife.
79
00:02:54,524 --> 00:02:57,808
And nobody to know I forgot
to turn off the laser.
80
00:03:02,130 --> 00:03:03,230
They're here.
81
00:03:03,232 --> 00:03:04,949
Our action figures
have arrived.
82
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:07,484
This is the best $500
I've ever spent.
83
00:03:07,486 --> 00:03:09,370
$1,000 on action figures?
84
00:03:09,372 --> 00:03:11,205
How can you afford that?
85
00:03:11,207 --> 00:03:12,656
Easy-- his family's loaded,
86
00:03:12,658 --> 00:03:14,658
and Bernadette has a great job.
87
00:03:14,660 --> 00:03:17,494
My wife came with both
fun bags and money bags.
88
00:03:18,714 --> 00:03:23,134
Say hello to an exact
scale model of me.
89
00:03:28,307 --> 00:03:31,726
Oh, I'm not dark chocolate.
90
00:03:31,728 --> 00:03:34,612
I'm melt-in-your-mouth caramel.
91
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,399
Oh, man.
92
00:03:41,870 --> 00:03:44,855
Look at my nose.
93
00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:46,657
Maybe it's a shipping problem.
94
00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:48,292
What?
Yeah.
95
00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:49,744
Maybe Wesley Snipes
and Toucan Sam
96
00:03:49,746 --> 00:03:52,029
just got action figures
that look like you guys.
97
00:03:54,466 --> 00:03:55,699
This sucks.
98
00:03:55,701 --> 00:03:57,385
I can't believe
I wasted all that money.
99
00:03:57,387 --> 00:04:00,554
Aw, and my girlfriend
wouldn't let me get one.
100
00:04:00,556 --> 00:04:01,839
(Leonard chuckles)
101
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,858
Look at my face.
102
00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:06,210
Do I look smug?
I feel smug.
103
00:04:08,997 --> 00:04:11,983
I hate it when you make me
sit through all the credits.
104
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,101
Well, sometimes there's
a secret ending,
105
00:04:14,103 --> 00:04:15,820
like in The Avengers.
106
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,738
Yeah, but I don't think
that's going to happen
107
00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:20,408
in a documentary
about the Holocaust.
108
00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:23,611
They could
show bloopers.
109
00:04:23,613 --> 00:04:26,447
(Darth Vader's theme music
from Star Wars playing)
110
00:04:26,449 --> 00:04:27,564
Oh, no.
111
00:04:27,566 --> 00:04:28,666
What is that?
112
00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:30,167
That is Sheldon's
113
00:04:30,169 --> 00:04:34,121
"I'm unhappy and about
to destroy the planet" music.
114
00:04:34,123 --> 00:04:36,257
Come on, let's just go
to your place.
115
00:04:36,259 --> 00:04:38,409
Well, wait, if he's unhappy,
shouldn't we talk to him?
116
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:39,460
"Shouldn't we talk to him?"
117
00:04:39,462 --> 00:04:42,013
Have you learned nothing
in six years?
118
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,187
You doing okay, sweetie?
119
00:04:53,175 --> 00:04:55,109
There is ominous music playing,
120
00:04:55,111 --> 00:04:57,311
and there is an afghan
over my head.
121
00:04:57,313 --> 00:04:58,713
I don't know where you're from,
122
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,948
but where I'm from,
that means I'm not doing okay.
123
00:05:01,817 --> 00:05:03,951
Want me to make
you some tea?
124
00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:06,220
Tea is for when I'm upset.
I'm not upset.
125
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:09,106
The university's forcing me
to work with Kripke.
126
00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:10,607
I'm outraged.
127
00:05:10,609 --> 00:05:13,210
So, cocoa?
128
00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:14,778
Yes, cocoa.
129
00:05:16,748 --> 00:05:19,450
Do you have any idea what
it's like to be paired
130
00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:21,752
with someone who's so
incredibly annoying?
131
00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:24,004
Oh, teacher! Me! Me!
132
00:05:26,825 --> 00:05:28,292
See, I did all this great work,
133
00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:30,561
and now he's just going to
come along and ruin it.
134
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:32,730
I am angrier than ever
and filled with despair.
135
00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:35,149
What beverage
do you make for that?
136
00:05:35,151 --> 00:05:37,935
Oh... no, no, no, I know this.
137
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:39,120
Uh...
138
00:05:39,122 --> 00:05:40,571
hot apple cider
with cinnamon sticks?
139
00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:42,990
Yes, hot apple cider
with cinnamon sticks!
140
00:05:47,879 --> 00:05:49,980
What the frig, Cooper?
141
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:50,948
We were
supposed to meet
142
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:53,317
in my office
a half an hour ago.
143
00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:55,669
And yet,
now you're in my office.
144
00:05:55,671 --> 00:05:58,155
Point: Cooper.
145
00:05:58,157 --> 00:06:00,508
Welcome to the Thunderdome,
Kripke.
146
00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:03,677
We agreed to exchange
copies of our work.
147
00:06:03,679 --> 00:06:04,762
Let me see yours.
148
00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:07,932
Why don't you show me
yours first.
149
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:10,968
You think I just fell
off the turnip truck?
150
00:06:12,187 --> 00:06:13,854
We exchange at the same time.
151
00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:16,624
How do I know you're not
going to take my ideas
152
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,159
and publish them
as your own?
153
00:06:18,161 --> 00:06:20,060
How do I know you're not
going to do that with mine?
154
00:06:20,062 --> 00:06:21,178
Yeah, because I'm not interested
155
00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:22,863
in getting published
in Mad magazine.
156
00:06:25,066 --> 00:06:27,952
Zingers fly fast
in the Thunderdome, Barry.
157
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,788
Are we going
to do this or not?
158
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:32,323
Thank you.
159
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,208
So, we read each other's work,
meet again tomorrow?
160
00:06:34,210 --> 00:06:36,360
Fine.
161
00:06:39,581 --> 00:06:42,216
Nice try.
This is blank paper.
162
00:06:42,218 --> 00:06:44,218
And I am sure it's
still more valuable
163
00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:45,702
than whatever's in here.
164
00:06:45,704 --> 00:06:48,589
Cough it up, Cooper.
165
00:06:48,591 --> 00:06:50,141
Very well.
166
00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:58,983
If this one's blank, too,
I'm going to be furious.
167
00:07:00,785 --> 00:07:02,319
Fine.
168
00:07:11,363 --> 00:07:12,730
You!
169
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,999
Always bet on black.
170
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:18,169
Get that waste of money
out of my face.
171
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,920
It's only a
waste of money
172
00:07:19,922 --> 00:07:22,206
if we don't
play with them.
173
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,740
He's right, dawg.
174
00:07:25,594 --> 00:07:27,044
Please, I'm working.
175
00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:30,381
You know, there is a way
we can get action figures
176
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,932
to look exactly
like us.
177
00:07:31,934 --> 00:07:33,100
Oh, yeah?
How's that?
178
00:07:33,102 --> 00:07:34,185
Two words:
179
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,353
3-D printer.
180
00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:37,938
Wait, maybe it's three words.
181
00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:39,390
No, hang on.
182
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:42,693
Okay, one word, a letter
and a number and...
183
00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:44,228
maybe a hyphen.
184
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,397
3-D printer.
185
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:49,733
I have always wanted
a 3-D printer.
186
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:51,118
Of course you have.
187
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,236
They're an
engineer's dream.
188
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:53,370
Anything you can design,
189
00:07:53,372 --> 00:07:55,606
a 3-D printer can make
out of plastic.
190
00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:57,908
Yeah, but they're so expensive.
191
00:07:57,910 --> 00:07:58,959
Oh, come on.
192
00:07:58,961 --> 00:08:00,044
You deserve one.
193
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:01,495
You've worked hard
to find a woman
194
00:08:01,497 --> 00:08:03,047
who makes a lot of money.
195
00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:07,451
Well, the prices
have been coming down.
196
00:08:07,453 --> 00:08:08,619
Oh, true.
197
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:10,754
They're practically
giving them away.
198
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:13,741
You know, in exchange for money.
199
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:16,793
And we can make stuff
we need for work with it.
200
00:08:16,795 --> 00:08:19,430
Prototypes
of my CAD/CAM designs,
201
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:20,514
specialized tools...
202
00:08:20,516 --> 00:08:22,316
Not to mention
Malibu Koothrappali
203
00:08:22,318 --> 00:08:25,603
and his totally bitchin'
dream house.
204
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:28,805
We don't need Malibu
Koothrappali's dream house.
205
00:08:28,807 --> 00:08:30,190
Really, smart guy?
206
00:08:30,192 --> 00:08:32,743
Where's he supposed to park
his sweet little Corvette?
207
00:08:35,030 --> 00:08:39,483
The monkey in my tobacco study
has taken to smoking a pipe.
208
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:42,819
I'm supposed to remove
his brain to examine,
209
00:08:42,821 --> 00:08:45,673
but it's hard because now he
reminds me of my uncle.
210
00:08:48,293 --> 00:08:50,010
You've been
awfully quiet tonight.
211
00:08:50,012 --> 00:08:51,328
Is everything okay?
212
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:53,597
I'm fine.
213
00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:56,383
All right, well,
how was work today?
214
00:08:56,385 --> 00:08:58,636
Did you exchange your research
with Kripke?
215
00:09:00,472 --> 00:09:02,356
Yes.
216
00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:04,841
Sheldon, what's going on?
217
00:09:06,227 --> 00:09:10,180
I read his research, and...
218
00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:13,517
it's leaps and bounds
ahead of mine.
219
00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:16,537
Which means the mommy
of the smartest physicist
220
00:09:16,539 --> 00:09:21,625
at the university is not
my mommy as I had thought.
221
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:23,544
It's his mommy.
222
00:09:24,963 --> 00:09:27,131
Sheldon, I wish there was
something I could do
223
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,632
to make you feel better.
224
00:09:30,251 --> 00:09:32,002
May I offer you a consoling hug?
225
00:09:33,204 --> 00:09:34,722
What do we have to lose?
226
00:09:41,429 --> 00:09:44,264
How's that?
227
00:09:44,266 --> 00:09:47,217
I feel like I'm being strangled
by a boa constrictor.
228
00:09:50,188 --> 00:09:53,023
Why'd you stop?
229
00:09:56,747 --> 00:10:00,082
Come on, Sheldon!
We're going to be late!
230
00:10:00,084 --> 00:10:02,968
I can't go in today.
I'm sick.
231
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,070
You're not sick.
232
00:10:04,072 --> 00:10:05,287
You just don't want
to face Kripke.
233
00:10:05,289 --> 00:10:07,773
No, look.
234
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:13,312
128.
235
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:16,799
See?
236
00:10:16,801 --> 00:10:19,101
What did you do,
put this in your tea?
237
00:10:19,103 --> 00:10:20,986
Oh, dear.
238
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:24,073
Now I'm not even smarter
than you.
239
00:10:24,075 --> 00:10:26,575
Sheldon, Kripke's not
smarter than you.
240
00:10:26,577 --> 00:10:28,327
You just got stuck
on a wrong path.
241
00:10:28,329 --> 00:10:29,562
Happened to Einstein.
242
00:10:29,564 --> 00:10:32,198
He got stuck on the unified
field theory for decades.
243
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,149
Oh, don't play
the Einstein card.
244
00:10:34,151 --> 00:10:36,419
His great breakthroughs happened
when no one knew anything.
245
00:10:36,421 --> 00:10:38,921
So everything
was a great breakthrough.
246
00:10:38,923 --> 00:10:40,206
Sheldon Lee Cooper,
247
00:10:40,208 --> 00:10:41,924
I do not have time
for this nonsense.
248
00:10:41,926 --> 00:10:44,043
Now, go put your clothes on,
get in the car,
249
00:10:44,045 --> 00:10:45,628
and lets go to work.
250
00:10:46,496 --> 00:10:49,382
All right, geez.
251
00:10:49,384 --> 00:10:50,933
What a grouch.
252
00:10:53,837 --> 00:10:55,221
How did I do that?
253
00:10:55,223 --> 00:10:57,973
I got to remember
how I did that.
254
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,444
Do you realize, by
owning a 3-D printer,
255
00:11:01,446 --> 00:11:04,363
we are reclaiming
the manufacturing process
256
00:11:04,365 --> 00:11:08,284
and taking jobs back
from sweatshops in China?
257
00:11:08,286 --> 00:11:11,687
I think this thing
was made in China.
258
00:11:12,522 --> 00:11:14,540
Eh, what can you do?
259
00:11:14,542 --> 00:11:17,209
Ooh, I-I think it's done.
260
00:11:18,462 --> 00:11:19,862
(gasps)
261
00:11:19,864 --> 00:11:21,046
It worked!
262
00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:24,049
We printed a whistle.
263
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,502
Amazing.
264
00:11:26,504 --> 00:11:28,537
You realize these things
go for 25 cents a pop
265
00:11:28,539 --> 00:11:29,705
at a party store.
266
00:11:29,707 --> 00:11:32,007
And we made it
in only three hours.
267
00:11:32,009 --> 00:11:33,342
(whistles)
268
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:34,427
(inhales)
269
00:11:34,429 --> 00:11:36,679
Sounds just like
store-bought.
270
00:11:37,681 --> 00:11:41,550
Okay, give me
a superhero pose,
271
00:11:41,552 --> 00:11:42,818
and I will scan you
272
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:44,520
into the computer
for your action figure.
273
00:11:44,522 --> 00:11:45,604
(inhales)
274
00:11:45,606 --> 00:11:47,356
Oh, I wish I was
in better shape.
275
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:48,324
(laughs)
276
00:11:49,826 --> 00:11:51,110
Stop holding
your stomach in.
277
00:11:51,112 --> 00:11:54,062
I'll give you a six-pack
with the computer.
278
00:11:54,064 --> 00:11:55,448
Oh, okay, great.
279
00:11:55,450 --> 00:11:57,783
Now I can look
like Val Kilmer as Batman
280
00:11:57,785 --> 00:12:00,569
instead of Val Kilmer
as he looks today.
281
00:12:00,571 --> 00:12:03,205
(exhales)
282
00:12:03,207 --> 00:12:05,758
All right, you can
suck it in a little bit.
283
00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:11,013
Cooper, we have a problem.
284
00:12:11,015 --> 00:12:12,765
Your work is really not
285
00:12:12,767 --> 00:12:14,800
at a level
I expected it to be.
286
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,635
I know.
287
00:12:16,637 --> 00:12:18,220
Go ahead, mock me.
288
00:12:18,222 --> 00:12:21,190
Just use small words
so I understand.
289
00:12:22,058 --> 00:12:23,442
Don't play dumb
with me.
290
00:12:23,444 --> 00:12:25,361
We both know
what your problem is.
291
00:12:25,363 --> 00:12:26,962
We do?
292
00:12:26,964 --> 00:12:28,614
You have a girlfriend.
293
00:12:28,616 --> 00:12:30,265
So?
294
00:12:30,267 --> 00:12:32,201
So my work would suffer, too,
295
00:12:32,203 --> 00:12:35,538
if I was getting laid
all the time.
296
00:12:39,810 --> 00:12:41,544
Yes.
297
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:45,231
That is the reason.
298
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:49,802
My work is suffering
because of...
299
00:12:49,804 --> 00:12:52,221
all the laid I'm getting.
300
00:12:54,224 --> 00:12:56,308
You lucky bastard.
301
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:58,844
What can I say, you know?
302
00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:01,463
She enjoys my genitals.
303
00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:05,985
I am giving them to her
on a nightly basis.
304
00:13:06,937 --> 00:13:09,355
Okay, stop bragging.
305
00:13:09,357 --> 00:13:11,524
You had some brilliant
insights in here,
306
00:13:11,526 --> 00:13:12,741
but if we're gonna
make this work,
307
00:13:12,743 --> 00:13:14,610
you need to buckle down
and focus.
308
00:13:14,612 --> 00:13:16,161
I'll do what I can.
309
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:19,532
But it's not going to be easy,
because when I'm with Amy
310
00:13:19,534 --> 00:13:23,435
and our bathing suit areas
mush together...
311
00:13:23,437 --> 00:13:25,921
boy howdy, is it magic
312
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:36,181
Oh, good,
you're home.
313
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,417
Got a little
surprise for you.
314
00:13:38,419 --> 00:13:39,602
What?
315
00:13:39,604 --> 00:13:40,686
Say hello
316
00:13:40,688 --> 00:13:42,855
to my little friend.
317
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:48,677
Oh, my God.
318
00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:50,029
That's so cute.
319
00:13:50,031 --> 00:13:52,848
I didn't think there could be
a smaller version of you.
320
00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:54,483
(laughs)
321
00:13:55,351 --> 00:13:57,036
I know, right?
322
00:13:57,038 --> 00:13:58,854
And, thanks
to photographs
323
00:13:58,856 --> 00:14:00,456
and a little
3-D modeling,
324
00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:03,158
here comes the bride.
325
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,245
Oh, Howie,
I love these.
326
00:14:06,247 --> 00:14:07,246
I thought you might.
327
00:14:07,248 --> 00:14:08,964
Were they expensive?
328
00:14:08,966 --> 00:14:10,499
Didn't cost a thing.
I made them myself.
329
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,051
How?
Koothrappali and I
330
00:14:12,053 --> 00:14:15,671
bought a used 3-D printer
for $5,000.
331
00:14:15,673 --> 00:14:16,755
(chuckles)
332
00:14:16,757 --> 00:14:19,207
$5,000 for a
couple of dolls?
333
00:14:19,209 --> 00:14:21,376
Are you out
of your mind?
334
00:14:22,211 --> 00:14:24,880
Not just
a couple of dolls.
335
00:14:24,882 --> 00:14:27,516
For as many dolls
as we want.
336
00:14:29,019 --> 00:14:31,520
And whistles.
337
00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:34,523
At any point, did it dawn
on you to talk to me
338
00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:36,325
about spending this
kind of money?
339
00:14:37,227 --> 00:14:39,395
It's kind of
dawning on me now.
340
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,414
I don't believe you!
341
00:14:42,416 --> 00:14:45,417
Howie, we can't afford to waste
money on junk like this.
342
00:14:45,419 --> 00:14:47,369
What are you talking about?
343
00:14:47,371 --> 00:14:49,038
We make plenty
of money.
344
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,339
I make plenty of money!
345
00:14:50,341 --> 00:14:52,240
You make peanuts!
346
00:14:52,242 --> 00:14:55,628
Yes, but we're married now.
347
00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:57,212
That means, when you
348
00:14:57,214 --> 00:14:59,965
get sick,
I take care of you.
349
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,801
And when you make
a bunch of money,
350
00:15:02,803 --> 00:15:05,087
I get to buy stuff.
351
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:08,440
Sorry if you
don't like it,
352
00:15:08,442 --> 00:15:11,110
but that's how
love works.
353
00:15:11,112 --> 00:15:13,762
No, here's how
love works.
354
00:15:13,764 --> 00:15:15,314
You're gonna return
the machine,
355
00:15:15,316 --> 00:15:17,650
or you can print out a
working set of lady parts
356
00:15:17,652 --> 00:15:19,101
and sleep with those.
357
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,706
Oh, my God! Are you
actually thinking about it?
358
00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:28,610
All right, I don't understand.
359
00:15:28,612 --> 00:15:30,462
Why didn't you just
tell Kripke the truth?
360
00:15:30,464 --> 00:15:33,165
Because the truth
made me look bad,
361
00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:36,118
whereas a ridiculous bald-faced
lie makes me look good.
362
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,003
Anyway,
363
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,287
if Kripke asks,
364
00:15:39,289 --> 00:15:41,674
tell him my coitus with Amy
is frequent,
365
00:15:41,676 --> 00:15:44,693
intense and whimsically
inventive.
366
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,569
Is my coitus
whimsically inventive?
367
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,655
That is what I write
on the bathroom walls.
368
00:15:56,657 --> 00:15:58,407
"For a whimsically
inventive time,
369
00:15:58,409 --> 00:15:59,608
call Leonard Hofstadter."
370
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:01,443
(laughs)
371
00:16:02,812 --> 00:16:04,747
I know you're joking,
but I'd be okay with that.
372
00:16:04,772 --> 00:16:06,163
Yeah.
373
00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:08,500
Sheldon, can I ask you
a question?
374
00:16:08,502 --> 00:16:10,619
Of course.
You ever going to sleep with Amy?
375
00:16:13,957 --> 00:16:15,557
That's awfully personal.
376
00:16:15,559 --> 00:16:17,126
We don't ask Sheldon
things like that.
377
00:16:17,128 --> 00:16:18,326
Maybe you don't; I do.
378
00:16:18,328 --> 00:16:19,494
What's the deal?
379
00:16:20,697 --> 00:16:23,165
Well, word around the university
380
00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:26,402
is I'm giving her sex organs
a proper jostling.
381
00:16:26,404 --> 00:16:28,053
All right, come on,
be serious.
382
00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:30,305
Look, you guys have been
going out a long time.
383
00:16:30,307 --> 00:16:31,774
She would clearly like
384
00:16:31,776 --> 00:16:33,525
to have a physical
relationship with you,
385
00:16:33,527 --> 00:16:35,144
so what are you doing?
386
00:16:35,146 --> 00:16:36,678
All right, we're down
the rabbit hole.
387
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,313
What are you doing?
388
00:16:38,315 --> 00:16:41,984
Well, first of all,
I'm quite fond of Amy.
389
00:16:41,986 --> 00:16:43,485
Then what's
the problem?
390
00:16:43,487 --> 00:16:45,637
Penny...
391
00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:48,991
all my life,
I have been uncomfortable
392
00:16:48,993 --> 00:16:50,709
with the sort
of physical contact
393
00:16:50,711 --> 00:16:52,795
that comes easily
to others--
394
00:16:52,797 --> 00:16:55,431
hand-shaking, hugging,
395
00:16:55,433 --> 00:16:57,332
prostate exams.
396
00:17:01,137 --> 00:17:03,555
But I'm working on it,
you know?
397
00:17:03,557 --> 00:17:07,726
Just recently, I had to put
VapoRub on Amy's chest.
398
00:17:07,728 --> 00:17:10,429
A year ago, that would
have been unthinkable.
399
00:17:10,431 --> 00:17:14,016
Now you know how I feel
when I have to put it on you.
400
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:17,236
Okay. Hang on.
401
00:17:17,238 --> 00:17:20,189
Are you saying someday
you and Amy might...
402
00:17:20,191 --> 00:17:23,575
actually get physical?
403
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:27,896
It's a possibility.
404
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,734
(quietly):
Oh, my God!
405
00:17:39,408 --> 00:17:40,959
Sheldon, I know this
wasn't easy for you,
406
00:17:40,961 --> 00:17:42,845
and I'm really glad we could
have this conversation.
407
00:17:42,847 --> 00:17:44,096
Oh, yeah.
408
00:17:45,081 --> 00:17:46,248
Ow!
409
00:17:50,912 --> 00:17:52,864
Are you sure you
want to do this?
410
00:17:52,866 --> 00:17:54,866
Give up your half
of the 3-D printer?
411
00:17:54,868 --> 00:17:56,201
Yes.
412
00:17:56,203 --> 00:17:58,487
And can you please make
that out to Bernadette?
413
00:17:58,489 --> 00:18:00,322
I was taken off
the joint account
414
00:18:00,324 --> 00:18:03,709
until I learn
the value of money.
415
00:18:05,245 --> 00:18:06,628
Wow, that's harsh.
416
00:18:06,630 --> 00:18:08,730
Tell me about it.
417
00:18:08,732 --> 00:18:10,799
(sighs)
Aren't you gonna eat lunch?
418
00:18:10,801 --> 00:18:14,786
Nah, I blew my food allowance
on Pokémon cards.
419
00:18:17,123 --> 00:18:20,776
Well, the equation
balances,
420
00:18:20,778 --> 00:18:22,511
but it's certainly
not elegant.
421
00:18:22,513 --> 00:18:24,629
Whatever.
You get any last night?
422
00:18:27,233 --> 00:18:28,817
Yes.
423
00:18:28,819 --> 00:18:31,236
Gave it to her good, huh?
424
00:18:32,071 --> 00:18:34,823
No, I gave it to her well.
425
00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:39,311
Now, over here,
I was thinking
426
00:18:39,313 --> 00:18:41,280
the turbulence could be
reduced if we just put...
427
00:18:41,282 --> 00:18:42,347
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
428
00:18:42,349 --> 00:18:45,334
Was she naked,
or was she wearing lingerie?
429
00:18:48,438 --> 00:18:50,122
I didn't notice.
430
00:18:50,957 --> 00:18:53,491
How could you
not notice?
431
00:18:53,493 --> 00:18:55,093
I was too busy
432
00:18:55,095 --> 00:18:58,163
squishing all the desirable
parts of her body.
433
00:18:58,165 --> 00:19:00,382
Ah, you're killing me, Cooper!
434
00:19:01,801 --> 00:19:03,685
Can we get back to work?
435
00:19:03,687 --> 00:19:06,438
Sure, sure, sure.
436
00:19:07,273 --> 00:19:09,141
You guys ever use any toys?
437
00:19:11,311 --> 00:19:12,844
Toys?
438
00:19:14,147 --> 00:19:17,449
I do have a model rocket
next to my bed.
439
00:19:17,451 --> 00:19:20,456
A rocket?
You're a freak! I love it!
440
00:19:20,556 --> 00:19:25,556
== sync, corrected by elderman ==